PHATCHIC411's SparkPeople Blog PHATCHIC411's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Peering Into the Looking Glass Looking into my reflection, <BR> not recognizing who I see, <BR> What happend to the chubby cheeks, <BR> that used to hide my eyes? <BR> The person that is looking back is literally half my size, <BR> Im afraid that Ill wake up and that this will all be a dream, <BR> something made up a pranksters scheme, <BR> the smile on the face is mine, <BR> and for once its really real, <BR> even though my body is saggy, <BR> and everything isnt perfect, <BR> Ill embrace it all the same, <BR> vanity or n... Sat, 17 Oct 2009 09:33:46 EST Floating by.... Im in a 190 to 180 pound rut right now..Its hard but im doing my best to get outta it its very frustrating...This fluctuation is drivng me crazy!!! <BR> Ugg what do u ladies do when u get stuck?? Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:10:22 EST Gained a Few pounds...disapointed yes....Defeated heck no!!!! After a "fun" sugary easter a whole bunch of Spring Birthday parties, I realized I havent been sparking/exercizing/eating right I stepped on the scale and to my dismay 190 flashed back at me.I am very upset, but im driven to see better numbers on it, I will not let this setback define who I am im getting over it and getting moving again and beginning to make healthier eating choices yet again.Still over 100 pounds lost I will not let them creep back on me and become morbidly obese again I enj... Thu, 23 Apr 2009 08:37:52 EST When will the Battle Be won? Mirror Mirror on the wall , <BR> Biggest Liar of them all, <BR> Tears in eyes let them Fall, <BR> Hair is a mess, makeup all blurry, <BR> No time to look nice in a hurry, <BR> Hide the Bags and Imperfections, <BR> Dotting Makeup in Different Directions, <BR> Spread, Blot,Swipe, Smear, <BR> Never mind the Neglected Tear, <BR> Perfection will never be, <BR> This image looking back at me, <BR> Time to throw down the makeup and my hair, <BR> give everyone a good ol scare, <BR> Embrace the mess,my... Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:02:05 EST puzzled??? I gained afew pounds back but i lost in inches around my waist, arms,thighs and abdomen... <BR> hmmmm wierd lol but not a setback Sun, 8 Feb 2009 09:48:33 EST To be a butterfly a former caterpillars plea Breaking free of this cacoon this prison I built for myself, <BR> that keeps me small, shy ,scared of the unknown, <BR> hidden, angry, jealous at all the other butterflies , <BR> Butterflies that fly free that have found thier wings, <BR> dancing towards the sun flying soaring with confidence and grace, <BR> Dare I creep outside the cacoon where I was safe, <BR> Where I was hidden as an ugly bitter caterpillar yearning for change, <BR> Dare I take notice in who I am what I have changed into,... Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:41:22 EST Its 2009 yall Im glad to say ive started off the year with a bang im feeling good and and working reaallyy hard to loose my holiday weight im back down to 190 pounds and im trying to get to 155 by the end of may Im still gonna continue doing this healthfully and with all your love help and support I dont know where id be without my fellow Sparkers and Sparkettes.Ive been treating my body with respect like it deserves to be treated unlike the last month where ive been down and filling it with jumk and not w... Sat, 17 Jan 2009 07:58:01 EST This Holiday season plan, looking for suggestions This holiday season ive decided to let myself cheat a little, when I get military strict on my diet it makes me want to break more.Christmas is stressful enough without being the food Nazi , but im not gonna go hogwild either, one glass of eggnog one sugar cookie may be an occasional treat but not 3 glasses eggnog and a dozen cookies.I went up to 196 again but I resolve not to go up to 200 pounds again,wether or not this is the best strategy I have no idea ,Ive been making SparkPeople recipes... Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:36:07 EST Feeling Dissappointed but not defeated.. Halloween was tough this year and I caved into temptation because of stress and depression.It got to me when people kept looking at me because of the weight I lost and made mean comments on how I used to weigh, they made me out like I was horrible disfigured, it made me question my friends and family as if this was all they saw me as was a big person not what was on the inside and its been hurting confusing to explain they are compliments with a cut to it, you feel nice that they notic... Wed, 5 Nov 2008 08:23:24 EST Goodbye obesity I am now just overweight lol.hahaha its a good promotion, considering ive started my journey morbidly obese.Hopefully with the holidays coming up and the anniversary of my fathers death looming near I wont fall or cave in to old habits.Can anybody think of healthy thankgivng /christmas recipes. Thu, 16 Oct 2008 11:00:48 EST goodbye 200 i will not miss you hello 199 My weight does not start with a 2 anymore yaaaay, i honestly dont remeber being in the 100's or being able to share clothing with friends.Im wearing a hoodie i borrowed from my friend sierra its a size large my smallest piece of clothing i have here at the moment,i can fit in a size 14 jeans now but not bend over lol, its a little constricting.I have a size 9 hanging on my wall.... hmmm maybe someday ill be able to fit in it that would be nice.Its a nice feeling shrinking down and seeing my s... Sat, 27 Sep 2008 12:43:28 EST 100 pounds lost foreva and eva Yaaaaay I finally broke my plateau im 203 pounds, 100 pounds are gone from my body.Floating on cloud nine here, thanx to all who have encouraged me and helped me when ive fallen, and cheered on my small victories you ladies and gents are the best people in the world = ) <BR> I loooooove my Spark Friends,hugz and kissez for everyone Muah !!! <BR> soon ill be out of the 200 hundred zone, and im a lil nervous but excited. <BR> SparkPeople changed my life forever, and if you are struggling to me... Sun, 14 Sep 2008 08:09:36 EST 99 pounds lost.... Ive been in a funk lately and I found out why im a lil anemic, ive been taking iron supplements and walla i feel somuch better.Im only one pound away from my biggest goal ever,so im anxious happy and excited all in one.Im also applying to get student loans for the spring semester to become certified in nutrtion and dietary.This winter/fall would be too dificult becasue of emotional issues and finacial.Im soo excited my dreams are slowly starting to come true = ). My babies are also doing wel... Tue, 9 Sep 2008 09:51:07 EST im closer to my goal... Hi sparkbuddies im at 208 now which is very close to my hundred pounds lost goal.Im very excited and anxious all at the same time = ) <BR> 5 more pounds to go and im there the smallest ive been since elementary school. <BR> Im also getting closer to another personal goal a very important one for me, I want to be trained as a dietician to help conquer childhood obesity, I want to help provide educational materials to young children and thier parents so they can make the right food choices, ... Sat, 30 Aug 2008 11:16:26 EST I stood on the scale and to my surprize... I lost 2 pounds im at 210 i broke my plateau but instead of feeling happy, panic struck my pulse went up and I started getting anxious and feeling really nervous, and butterflies were in my stomach,and I got a cold sweat.That wierd feeling passed and I was happy, but what was up with that??Could I possibly be afraid of getting out of the 200's soon was it a comfort zone for me?im feeling alot better now, but could this strike me again and ruin all my best efforts,becasue when anxiety hits I ... Sat, 23 Aug 2008 09:40:17 EST My kids aree growing up My littlest alanna at 6 months old has two teeth and started to crawl today, she mostly goes backwards and my son jayden 2 years old is taking big steps to be potty trained, he does both now LOL.He woke up in the middle of the night last night to go potty = )Im very proud of both of them they are doing so well, im excited to take my baby girl to her sixth month checkup today, she has grown alot length and height wise.Jayden is growing big too.Im glad my weight is going before they even know w... Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:15:23 EST My weight is coming off more slowly.... Im not going to bring myself down ive came so far and im grateful for every pound i have loss..If i get under 200 pounds by the new year that would be incredible, i have only 13 more pounds to go that sounds pretty doable for me = ). and only 9 more pounds till i hit my 100 pound loss marker as slow As I go, I will make it in spite of all the temptations that come into my path. <BR> Even if I never loose another pound after today I feel so good and healthy right now, and pleased with what I... Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:56:26 EST my family reunion My family reunion was a lil disapointing, everyone was smoking in a small garage and it made it hard to breathe.All my fam was surprized to see me this small though.I wish they could pick up on healthy habits too, to my horror I saw they ate the way I used to with no regards to calorie consumption, I see why it was so easy to pack on the weight for me growing up.I ate alot of fruit salad and advoided the extra salty,salt potatoes.But I gave in to a handful of chips,I forget how people eat in... Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:57:03 EST 90 pounds lost hurray!! i cant believe it, i made it to my 90 pounds lost goal.I went from a size 28/26 top and almost about 28 pants to a size 16 top and an 18 bottom.I never belived I would it this far in my wildest dreams, not only have I shrunk but my confidence is growing.I feel like I can acomplish anything, with all of my Hubby, family, and Sparkfriends by my side, thank you all my dreams are within my grasp, thanx for being my support when I have fallen, thank you all for not belittling me or ridculing me wh... Fri, 8 Aug 2008 10:35:31 EST For the first time in almost 12 years.... I rode a bike , its something I always wanted to do since i got heavier.My parents gave me a bike when I was younger but as i climbed up into the 300' s I was uncomfterable and awkward so I gave it up.MY hubby by my side on his bike for my first flight, I felt fantastic like I was flying,I fell in love with my hubby and bike riding all over again.My new goal is to do a bike trip in the future. Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:10:47 EST Guess What im wearing?! I wearing size 18 jeans, im finally out of the 20's, in tops and bottoms I ve been in 20 something sized clothing since forever,i think the lasttime i wore a size 18 I was12 or 13.its been about 10 or 11 years, this was one of my main goals, I cant believe I made it!!Im skinnier now then I was in high school,im so happy.My whole image mentally and physically is starting to is starting to change . yesterday my hubby and I bought a basketball to play outside and a real little bike for Jayden... Mon, 28 Jul 2008 09:56:46 EST Masala Bhangra : ) Masala Bhagra dance is a traditonal indian celebration dance Sarina Jain has a series she does on FitTv, im learning how to do it and im enjoying it, i have so much fun its hard to believe im working out as hard as i am till the ache and burn hits later in my muscles. <BR> My son and his cousin join me at home, its a good way to get them tired out for the evening. <BR> Try it ladies if you enjoy dancing and each session burns more than 500 calories.Im really not trying to sound like an infom... Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:01:48 EST 219 finally !!!!! After half a week, of doing vacation bible school at my favorite church,I thought I wasnt getting any excercize in at home, boy was i wrong watching a dozen four year olds is a workout.we have gym and we chase the younguns around outside, they love that and i wasnt home to raid the kitchen when the hunger pangs set in so i had to drink water to suffice. <BR> Thank you god for providng this opportunity to enrich these young ones lives, and for them to get me very active to break this mental an... Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:08:31 EST Feeling a bit down.... :( I feel as though my depression is slipping in again...Or I could be feeling the effects of being a stay at home mom, Im starting to feel isolated, and lonely. <BR> Im down to 220 now, but I am starting to loose that zest sometimes. usually when I do my daily walk i do it by myself with the children and I miss having adult companionship, someone to talk to and relate to, all the girls around my age in this area are only interested in drinking and partying, i gave that up when I got Saved a cou... Wed, 9 Jul 2008 15:04:52 EST Uh oh I broke it... LOL i broke my plateau... hurray im 222.2 today after it not moving for a couple of weeks,Im so happy im one step closer to my goal....I thoguht it would be a gain today because I had one extra hot dog last night, but I met my caloric goal exactly, and worked out with my son yesterday to Tae bo,Billy blanks kicked my butt literally LOL, and did a lil belly dancing too. <BR> <BR> Without you ladies I would be so discouraged and i probally would of given up on my own god bless all of you, may you ... Sat, 5 Jul 2008 10:18:12 EST Plateau.... Plateau what a sweet and aweful word you are.Im stuck at 223 but im still happy,but my inches are going down and so is my body fat.The scale cannot bring me down today. <BR> <BR> My local farmers market coupons come into effect today yaaaay they are good for the rest of the summer.I love buying local produce its usually alot cheaper then in the stores,some people think its so expensive to eat healthy but they are usually looking in the wrong places for good wholesome food. Thu, 3 Jul 2008 16:51:35 EST Summer tears Everything is silent, summer breeze has paused, <BR> <BR> sitting on the porch waiting for the tides of sleep to claim me, <BR> <BR> children are sleeping peacefully,hubby snoring contentedly , <BR> <BR> memories run rampant through my busy mind, <BR> <BR> good pleasant memories and bad ones that Id like to forget, <BR> <BR> Summer heat is at its worst the air is like cough syrup, <BR> <BR> each breath feels thick and sticky,i must go in for the sweet hum of the AC, <BR> <BR> beads of... Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:04:34 EST For the first time in years.... <BR> i wore an outfit from the ladies section of the store Its the bigger sizes like 18 16 top but i am wearing a skirt the same size Too!!Im so used to buying plus sized clothing its a culture shock to be wearing something pretty, plus sizes arent that pretty in some stores they have huge flowers all over the front usually to hide the flaws which is pretty much everywhere.This new person int he mirror i see cant be real,she is smiling and happy and looks confident. <BR> 80 pounds and sever... Fri, 27 Jun 2008 09:01:53 EST Then What?? I had a friend ask me that today , what if i reach my goal?Then What... <BR> I didnt know how to respond I never thought of life after reaching my goal,should i loose more weight, should I maintain then what??? <BR> Im reflecting on this alot today while doing housework if you guys have any suggestions, on how to maintain or life after your goal is won.Im just a lil puzzled on what to do then.Thanx Sun, 22 Jun 2008 11:12:57 EST 80 pounds lost After one crazy sunday binge and my period.This Friday after busting my butt for a whole week. I stood on the scale and realized I lost 80 pounds,some of which may be water weight because my period is over but im estatic.Im 20 pounds away from losing one hundred pounds that number seems so unreal before but now i can reach it. <BR> <BR> I also want to thank someone special ,KIMANDTONY is a sweet person who has also been by my side this whole entire journey, she lost her father on fathers d... Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:53:21 EST Feeling pretty upbeat for a setback I will not give up... <BR> This fathers day I was bad really bad, i was missing my dad but it was no excuse to drown my sorrows in food.5 slices of pizza, italian ice and cheesey fries topped with bacon and half a bag of doritos, ...That added between 4 to five pounds back on me, ive lost 2 of them and its wednesday.I thought I was in control but i didnt notice that 5 th slice of pizza till it was down my gullet,when I get very upset and I stuff and stuff. <BR> I seem a lil harsh but Im goin... Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:29:43 EST Biggest loser weighs me up again after 75 pound loss MY NEW WEIGHT <BR> <BR> Your BMI & Target Weight: <BR> <BR> Current Weight: 228.0 <BR> <BR> Healthy Weight Range: 118.1-159.0 <BR> <BR> Daily Calorie Goal: 1,596 <BR> <BR> UNDER HEALTHY OVER OBESE <BR> <BR> Your Ideal BMI: 24 <BR> <BR> Your BMI: 35.7 <BR> <BR> <BR> MY OLD WEIGHT <BR> <BR> <BR> Your BMI & Target Weight: <BR> <BR> Current Weight: 303.0 <BR> <BR> Healthy Weight Range: 118.1-159.0 <BR> <BR> Daily Calorie Goal: 2,121 <BR> <BR> <BR> UNDER... Mon, 2 Jun 2008 15:28:18 EST Yaaay 75 pounds lost forever!! I can fit into size 20 jeans and 16 /18 tops.This is a first for me Ive havent been those sizes in a long time.l need new clothes now LOL.My old stuff barely fits me in a good way its all hanging off me after losing 75 pounds my current wardrobe is obsolete.All my shirts look like cleavage shirts becaus e I lost alot of boobage, so Im looking pretty trampy lol.203 will be my hundred pounds lost mark im so excited it not that far away.... Mon, 2 Jun 2008 15:20:41 EST AAAAARGGGGHH !!!! Holiday temptations The thing I dont enjoy the most about the holidays is the food, people expect high calorie fattening food and candy around easter time.Not me this year Im cooking lean food and side dishes.Then after easter another dilemma Birthdays, what am i supposed to do??? for that most people expect cake and ice cream, I cant tolerate eitherThe taste of frosting makes me wanna throw up and If I get a taste of ice cream I cant stop eating it.....Its a combo birthday with his cousin Edith Im going to brin... Sun, 16 Mar 2008 09:54:23 EST Wow I never realized how far I came in the past year,I just looked at all my old blogs and laughed and cried at some.I realized one of my goals was to be able to pick up my son,i can do that now and touch my toes and go up and down the stairs without losing my breath.Now I see how far i have come and Ill strive to work harder and do my best so I can play with him outside and run with him,Ive never been able to run since elementary school.I hope im making my daddy proud when he looks down and sees... Sat, 8 Mar 2008 20:13:08 EST Biggest loser website sizes me up This is right off the website from my free profile. <BR> <BR> <BR> Your BMI & Target Weight: <BR> <BR> Current Weight: 255.0 <BR> <BR> Healthy Weight Range: 118.1-159.0 <BR> <BR> Daily Calorie Goal: 1,785 <BR> <BR> <BR> UNDER HEALTHY OVER OBESE <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Your Ideal BMI: 24 <BR> <BR> Your BMI: 39.9 <BR> <BR> <BR> This is my facts acording to the biggest loser website, it was a eye opener. Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:01:52 EST Rejoining with pride!! Two weeks passed after having the c section and im back to my prepregnacy weight of 257.I lost it by being sick though, but now im eating solids again and im making each thing I eat count.Working out has to wait a few more weeks but im up and walking whenever i can. <BR> <BR> I was pretty down on myself recently and thought how am I going to lose weight with two kids then I look at my friend Sarah she did it and she looks great so im nlot going to let that be an excuse to hide under a layer... Sat, 16 Feb 2008 19:32:51 EST Setback conquered I used to be a size 28 jean size now I fit into a size 24 I can pull up and button a size 22 but if I bend over my butt will pop out (lol) so I have to lose some more before im a 22.I love the way how clothes fit now, I know im big but boy do I look good some days.At curves the other day I got a compliment and an insult ,this nice lady said to me that I look good did you lose alot of weight, htat felt nice till i almost tripped over this chicks sneakers she placed behind me, her warning was ... Tue, 29 May 2007 23:26:00 EST Did my First Fundraising walk Yesterday was my first walk for a cause, to help support CareNet without them i dont kow where I would be.They helped me with a free pregnancy test and ultrasound, and through going there I found out about Wic. Sun, 20 May 2007 07:50:23 EST Keeping it Real I cant believe how down i got the other day, but things are looking up now.Keeping to a diet is hard so I call what im doing a lifestyle change.I started a thread on one of my favorite teams,what do you love about yourself a few women answered and gave me the courage to love myself regardless of what people say,i try to find one thing i love about myself when I feel sad, it makes me feel alot better.all these women give me courage to find my trueself and truly keep it real. Wed, 16 May 2007 08:55:30 EST Feeling good but Lonely I lost alot of weight and i physically feel good but sometimes I get sooo depressed and lonely, being a stay at home mom is not easy like everyone thinks it is, there is no sick days, no time off,and lunch break is about how long you can distract your kid.I wish I could have an adult conversation every now and then, I guess im lonely cause my honey went to do extra time at work on mothers day,im happy for the extra cash, but i miss him .I made my honey and his mom lunch today to bring to wor... Sun, 13 May 2007 14:39:00 EST Friends are helping me My honeys sister is such a sweet heart she came over today and hung out with me while my sweetheart was at work.It feels nice to have an adult conversation again.Her and me are going to head out and do something fun together, like watch a chick flick without feeling guilty, she has the same problem I do our guys gripe and moan throughout the movie.Whenever the guys want to watch a war movie we have to sit through it and not complain. I must have dropped in weight recently caus... Fri, 9 Mar 2007 23:19:59 EST Good Days are here again Yesterday was such agood day my dad came to visit me.He has been living iin a home that is run by hospice members and volunters, they are miracle workers.My aunt took him over to my house then we went out to eat at a chinese restaurant.I managed to stay in control of what I ate.Watching my dad eat was awesome,we thought he would never eat solid food again.We were all laughing at my son who was hitting on beautiful young girl who works at the restaurant.She is about 12 years old and he is 10... Sun, 25 Feb 2007 11:04:23 EST Weigh and measure day at Curves Today waas awesome.I lost 4 almost 5 lbs.Of that 4 lbs 3 lbs was body fat.I lost so many inches today too around my waist and tummy thighs and my bust (I must ,I must decrease that bust : ) ) Seriously my bosom needs to go that is half my weight right there.I want to lose some of it naturally,no surgical procedure for me.I celebrated with a nice long baby free shower, when I am half way to my goal I am going to do a mini make over with my hair.My hair has went through alot of abuse when i wa... Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:52:06 EST Strength Training is Hard Crunches are not that embarrassing if you do them by yourself,the last time I did crunches was in high school surrounded by all those athletic chicks.While me and my flabby friends struggled to keep up. The only thing I was good at was being a goalie, because i was one of the biggest girls in class and I coved 99% of the goal.Physical education was not my cup of tea. I will try from this day forward to do my best and my hardest to become fit.Im so tired of wearing clothes that can uphols... Sun, 11 Feb 2007 23:11:59 EST My Friend just had her baby Yaaaaay!Lucky her one day before her due date. my little guy never wanted to leave he was half a month overdue the had to do a c section.I cant wait to go see her and her handsome little boy.hopefully tommorow but I WANT TO SEE HIM NOW!I love babies, the smell the noises they make,but not the weight gain.Uggg Igained 50 lbs during my pregnancy. Sat, 10 Feb 2007 22:50:39 EST Excited to try the calorie counter OMG!This meal planner is the most incredible device ever.I tried keeping food diaries before but I gave up because it was so tedious to write down,with the meal planner its just point and click.Drinking all 8 glasses of water is proving to be a trial, I never peed so much in my life.I stuck within my calorie carb and fat limitations and I WAS FULL.My honey wants to join Spark people also, that would be incredible.I would have support in my own house BUT THEN after uttering those words he brou... Sat, 10 Feb 2007 20:56:25 EST