PEZCATHY's SparkPeople Blog PEZCATHY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Maybe a sundress? Bodies can be so different from person to person. I have chunky fat legs which I hate. My sisters are the same weight as me, yet their legs do not look like mine; they have nice tapered legs. And I have granny arms, which I also hate. It is a little difficult to get rid of those because I have arthritis in my shoulders and I can't pick up anything heavy. I would love to be able to wear a sundress again. Or shorts in public. Sigh. I will not let that define who I am though. I will p... Thu, 13 Oct 2016 12:15:30 EST Another wedding? Heard from my daughter today that her live-in boyfriend asked her to get married. I can't decide whether or not I am happy about this. On one hand, I am happy because she is the daughter with three kids and it creates a more stable environment for them. On the other hand, she will be 33 years old next month and this is her fourth marriage. Keeping it in my prayers that this man will be good to my grandsons. He loves my granddaughter (5), but not sure about those boys (they are the ones t... Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:39:10 EST Goodbye mosquitoes! I am having my porch screened in FINALLY! I have had such a difficult time finding someone to do it. Where I live are a lot of "don't want to do anything" contractors and they don't show up when they are supposed to, don't call, no insurance, no license. I guess there is a give an take to living in the mountains. The worst thing about living up here is the lack of competent, honest workmen. So anyway, off my rant, they are starting tomorrow! YAY! Will post a photo when they have finish... Mon, 10 Oct 2016 14:05:26 EST Mama Won't Fly Did something for me today. Really had to force myself to do it too. After church, I met a friend and we went to see a play at the local theater called "Mama Won't Fly" and then to dinner. Was almost my week's food allowance, but I haven't treated myself to anything in so long. And, although the play was almost 3 hours long, it was a cute play. Besides the glass of wine they gave us at the theater, I did really well today with my staying on track too! Good day <BR> <BR> <em>41</em> Sun, 9 Oct 2016 20:51:54 EST Beautiful Saturday in the mountains I didn't do much today. The power went out for about an hour or so, so I sat and crocheted. I did walk a little farther this morning. The dogs were happy to be out walking on such a beautiful day. I love when it starts feeling like fall, and my Toby dog does too. He is 9 years old and gets very frisky in cooler weather. He picked up fluttering leaves and danced around with them in his mouth. I should have gone out to the craft show in town today, but to be honest, with the winds we hav... Sat, 8 Oct 2016 17:05:55 EST Day Back Two: Feeling more optimistic Woke up feeling optimistic and definitely in a better mood. I can do this! Was able to stay on track yesterday and so far today. Making a meal and snack plan helps me tremendously!! I stopped at the grocery store two days ago and bought a "meal" in the deli. They make the best roasted pork and for $5, the lady gave me almost a pound of pork, along with green beans and potatoes. Eating the last of my pork tonight. Was able to walk some today, but not too far. I need to buy some knee br... Fri, 7 Oct 2016 16:05:19 EST How to get back on track??!! So, I haven't been on track whatsoever since my last blog entry. I have been totally lazy and indulgent. I'm trying to make today the day I will get back on track. I have gained almost all the weight back I lost, starting today at 186. Have made a meal plan for today. I PLAN on doing that every morning, but we shall see. The world is filled with good intentions, isn't it. My knees are much better, but I am just now, 10 months later, able to walk without limping. So, starting again fro... Thu, 6 Oct 2016 12:54:05 EST Oh my knee my knee I haven't a clue what I did. I can't remember being on my knees, I only have three stairs on the outside of my cabin. But I woke up Saturday morning and my knee was hurting. By yesterday morning (Sunday), I couldn't walk at all. I couldn't even go to church. When I sit, it doesn't hurt, just walking hurts (however by Saturday night I couldn't even lay flat without being in excruciating pain). I think, somehow, I tore a ligament, since the pain seems to be on the inner side of my right k... Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:41:37 EST Sunday Reflections I wish I wish I wish <BR> I wish I had long legs <BR> I wish I had a longer neck and no double chin <BR> I wish I could have a breast reduction <BR> I wish my hair didn't look like a French poodle <BR> I wish my knees and shoulders didn't hurt so I could exercise <BR> I wish I didn't like to eat so much <BR> I wish I wasn't lonely, I wish I had a friend <BR> I wish my daughters lived closer to me <BR> I wish I had a new car <BR> I wish I had a bigger house and lived closer to town <BR> <BR> ... Sun, 10 Jan 2016 10:36:03 EST Another Saturday Every Saturday lately I have been waking up with the song in my head: "Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody..." lol. There are lots of single women that have retired and moved up here, but there are hardly any single men. Sure would be nice to go out on a date again with someone. It's been over 6 years since my divorce, and I think I am finally ready. Living in the middle of nowhere is beautiful, but it can get lonely. 16 miles to "town", then no one to do anything with once I... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 09:58:33 EST The rest of my life I really do need to commit to a change for the rest of my life. I used having my grandsons with me for 17 months as an excuse to eat poorly. Truth is, I was stressed and that is a trigger for me to overeat. Now I have to readjust my mindset again to realize that this is something I MUST do, not just want to do. Heck, I would LOVE to eat whatever and whenever I want, but do I want to eat to live or live to eat? Fourth day back on the boat and my brain is telling me I need to eat. I am no... Fri, 8 Jan 2016 11:56:20 EST Third day back is a charm! Praising God that He helped me overcome temptation to eat bad today!!! I returned to starting my day with a devotional, and that seems to really be helping. My weekly "Lifegroup" meeting with a few ladies from my church was today. We always eat lunch, each of us bringing something to share. So I brought a green salad with apples and gorgonzola cheese. It was delicious. I bought some new Cranberry Ginger salad dressing and didn't like it much, so gave it to one of the ladies who did like... Thu, 7 Jan 2016 19:05:37 EST Commitment is returning! I am so excited because I can FEEL my commitment returning! I may have reached the high point of my calories and nutrition yesterday, but at least I didn't go over!!! My niece gave me a dozen of these wonderful HUGE pecan pralines for Christmas. I have eaten two and I know I will eat them all if I don't get them out of my house. I am going to have to give them away!! I hate to do that, but they are just calling my name all day long. I know that if I don't prepare my mind for the battle ... Thu, 7 Jan 2016 08:48:35 EST And again... Jan 6th and haven't even tried since August. At all. Very ashamed of myself, but I did manage to log all of my food today even if I didn't get out to walk, which is monumental for me. I thankfully still have not gained more than 20 of the 40 lbs I lost. I finally sent the grandsons back to their mom, so I should be able to get on the wagon now and try not to fall off again. I'm trying to hold on with both hands!! I made cabbage soup last week (which I love) and white bean soup with kal... Wed, 6 Jan 2016 17:18:00 EST Trying again... August 5th and I haven't done anything since February to try and get on track. I have been extremely stressed and extremely depressed and extremely off-track. I have gained a total of 20 pounds back to what I lost, which, in itself, is very depressing. <BR> <BR> I have had my two young grandsons for 15 months now. I love them so much, but having to be a mother to them has made me feel like a "mean" grandma. Grandparents are supposed to be loving and doting and I can't do that. Their mot... Wed, 5 Aug 2015 08:24:23 EST WooHoo! Back for a second day! YAY! I am back today! My second day back. I was able to stay mostly on track yesterday. I gave in about 8:00 last night and ate one cup of cereal (without milk) for an additional 130 calories, so that isn't too bad. Especially considering my diet has been horrible these last few months with a super high carb diet and virtually no fruit or vegies. <BR> <BR> It snowed last night and is supposed to snow off and on all day and tonight too. There is already about 3 inches on the ground, s... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 09:08:58 EST Sigh...trying again to restart!!! I am a stress eater. The more stress I have, the more I eat, and the less I want to do. Long story short, my 6 and 7 (now 7 and 8) year old grandsons came to live with me the beginning of June. It has been a tremendous financial strain on me. I finally was able to get Medicaid for them so that they can at least get medical care when they need it. But still fighting to get it for me until I turn 65 in four years and can get Medicare. Anyway, I am healthy and rarely get sick, thank God f... Mon, 23 Feb 2015 10:55:12 EST Only Positive Thoughts! And so I have slid back, but not too much and still have managed over the last 6 months to not gain any more than 10 lbs since my grandsons came to live with me. I have developed an allergy to peanut butter. I laugh at that now, because I have had hives since the boys came and I thought they brought bugs with them. But because I increased my peanut butter intake, I guess that triggered an allergy. Finally went to the dermatologist. Not severe enough to have to take shots, but I do get co... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 14:01:55 EST Merry Christmas! Hola Spark People! It has been three weeks since I signed on last. Here it is a couple of days before Christmas, and I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to all of you. I pray you have a wonderful holiday with your family and friends. I'm heading to Dallas with the grandsons to visit with the family. It will be the first time I will be able to take a photo of all of my girls and grandchildren together. I pray it won't be the last! <BR> <BR> Have a great week! Merry Christmas!! <BR> ... Sun, 21 Dec 2014 12:55:34 EST It was...back in September! September 24th was the last day I logged in and blogged. I thought I would begin again then getting healthier. Yet here it is December 1st, and I have gained 5 more pounds. I know depression is getting the better of me. I love having the boys here, but it is difficult financially. I decided today that I need to start writing down my "intake", and so far I have accomplished that! Dang, I need to give up my half and half in my coffee! That is a quick 200 calories a day! I have made the d... Mon, 1 Dec 2014 15:35:55 EST Trying to climb back on the WAGON!! I have been away from keeping food entries, journal entries, walking, EVERYTHING has turned upside down since I have had the boys. I wouldn't change it for anything, I love having them here. I now have a purpose I never knew that I would have again. <BR> I was watching a movie this morning, has language in it that I hate (why do filmmakers feel the "F" word is so important in movies), but it was a great love story. At the very end, the girl says to the guy "You love me? OK". It was toug... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 15:49:47 EST Darn wasps! Living in a log cabin in a national forest, I have had a plethora of assorted insects to pester me. Lately, it has been wasps. I had them last year, but this year it is even worse. Every time we open and close the gate, it disturbs wasps that are hiding somewhere. Yesterday, one stung me on my calf, and also stung my 6 year old grandson twice. I sprayed the heck out of the nest I could find, but I just saw one near that area again <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> At any rate, by 9ish last ni... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 15:40:26 EST Those were the days my friends Well, I cannot believe I have not logged my food intake for so long nor blogged since July 11th. I miss all of my Spark friends. I will try to stop in to your page sometime in the next few days (those I interact with on a regular basis) and see how you are doing. I am praying for all of you for strength to succeed and just that life is treating you all well in general. <BR> <BR> The turmoil in my life these past couple of months has subsided and we are now getting down to a new routine. ... Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:51:55 EST DAY 192 of 2014: I'm still here! I am missing my Spark friend interaction. I have been so busy with the kids, and now my son has moved in too, and just no time at all for getting on or even keeping track of my food. I am leaving for a week vacation at the beach in the morning with the kids in tow. My daughter Leslie is coming into town from Saudi Arabia with her friend and then we are heading down to Panama City Beach. Oh, and if you recall I was concerned I might have been scammed by someone... and come to find out, yes... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 14:03:22 EST DAY 185 of 2014: Half way through the year I just realized that half way through the year is 183 days, and I missed that fact. But I have not missed the fact that I have not accomplished one single step towards my weight loss or exercise goal this year. You cannot imagine how depressed that has made me. I lost half of the weight I wanted to, and then the holidays came and the winter and I have become a failure to the rest of my weight loss. Not giving up though. Even though I have gained 5 pounds since the kids have been here, I ... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 16:33:00 EST DAY 184 of 2014: More blessings in sight? So happy that my son came yesterday to live here. Having not raised him, and never having children himself, he is eerily similar to me in his ideas of discipline and what is wrong and right, which makes things go much smoother than I anticipated. Having raised four daughters, I became a loving 'taskmaster', something necessary since my husband traveled a lot and it has trickled down to my grandchildren, now that I have them to raise. I have noticed a trend toward a no discipline generation... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 10:49:09 EST DAY 183 of 2014: Need to get REAL exercise...somehow Since I've had the kids, I haven't been able to go out and walk, plus no time to exercise. Living in such a small place, there is no room inside to exercise and since I live 20 miles to any exercise facility, it is not financially effective to go to a gym (gas prices are killing me!). My son is coming to live with us beginning this afternoon, so once I get the little one down for her nap, if Adam has arrived by then, which I don't think he will have (he said late afternoon), I will start wa... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 08:57:32 EST DAY 182 of 2014: Oh that darn Spark Tracker!!! My Spark tracker has a mind of its own, it grows legs and walks away. However, the one time it needs to think for itself, it decides to act like an inanimate object and jump in the washing machine along with my shorts. Good thing is, it survived a dip in the washing machine! So happy that it did! So just letting you know, in case you have one, it must have some type of waterproofing! YAY!!!! <BR> <BR> It will get more interesting beginning tomorrow when my son moves up here with us. Th... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 19:22:12 EST DAY 181 of 2014: Marathon runners and commitment I am connected, through Facebook, with several people from my high school graduating class (plus a few from a year ahead of me and a year below me). One of the guys that I am friends with is an Ironman competitor. He does extremely well at it for being 61 years old. I imagine he has been running for years and years. He finishes one Ironman competition and enters another similar competition or marathon. I don't know how he does it. He makes me tired just seeing the photos from his compe... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 14:04:58 EST DAY 180: My blessing of Spark Friends My heart is overflowing today for my Spark Friends that continually visit my blog, remark on my posts, and support me on a consistent basis. I love you guys. Thank you so much for being here for me. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Sun, 29 Jun 2014 14:53:51 EST DAY 179 of 2014: Thanking God for all of my blessings I may whine and stress about things in my life, but sometimes I have to stop and remember that many times things that stress me out are blessings from God that I need be more thankful for. The situation surrounding the blessings may not be what I planned and/or are far from ideal, but are blessings nonetheless. I am so thankful for all of the blessings in my life. It is not all about me. So hard to remember to keep things in perspective. Love my babies and thankful God has given me this ... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 13:04:32 EST DAY 178 of 2014: Can't do one thing! Stress is HIGH! I have a problem, and I have always been this way. The only way I can do anything is to do several things at one time, five or ten minutes at a time. For example, yesterday, I emptied my closet, then played 5 minutes of scrabble to relax. Then I started sorting clothes. Then went back to Scrabble. In all of this, I have to stop and take the 2 year old potty, or get someone a drink, or get snacks or lunch, or something. I think I will always be like this. It does seem to take longer to ... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 10:20:48 EST DAY 177 of 2014: Cleaning out the closet Cleaning out my bedroom closet today. With the change of having the boys in the house, and the closets being only the size of the door that opens it, I need to clean out all the clothes that are too big and rearrange everything. I did rent a storage unit (another one, lol) to put my photography stuff in since it is filling up the second bedroom closet. I'm hoping by next year everything will be in place for me to turn ownership of the cabin over to my son and then buying a slightly bigger ... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 15:53:34 EST DAY 176 of 2014: Six months until Christmas Unbelievable that it is only six months until Christmas. This year has already been one unusual and complicated year. Because of that, I am encouraged. I read something the other day (gosh I hope I didn't post this already) that said that if your life is easy, then Satan has you right where he wants you. It only gets difficult when you are trying to live according to God's plan and wishes, then Satan puts obstacles in your way, which can come in many various forms and may or may not be a c... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 22:08:02 EST DAY 175 of 2014: Innocence of Youth I have fond memories, as a child, of playing in the rain. So when it started pouring today without lightning or thunder, I let the kids go out in just their underwear to play in the rain. They had so much fun. They had never done it before. Love that innocence of playing in the rain without a care! They were playing on the porch earlier (before the rain) and all of them were freaking over the bugs. I PLAYED with bugs when I was a kid, even had an earth worm farm. I'm hoping to get the ... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 11:24:18 EST DAY 174 of 2014: Be happy with what you have When I moved into my cabin, I thought it would be nice to subscribe to a few magazines through a great deal I found (5 subscriptions were $10 total for a year). I used to love looking through magazines for decorating ideas and recipes. But lately, I have come to realize that all the magazines do is make me want what I don't have and can't afford. They are so visually appealing, and created for that purpose. Such beautiful decorating and cool new items. If I never saw them, I would be hap... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 09:06:22 EST DAY 173 of 2014: Stress and eating I am paying a toll for these major changes in my life. Happy to have the kids, but I have gained 5 pounds since they have been here. Going to be stricter about eating more fruits and vegies starting tomorrow. It is so easy to fall back into my old ways and habits. Not able to walk with the 2 year old here too, so have not been doing any exercises. Must not make excuses for being lazy and eating! <BR> <img src=""> Sun, 22 Jun 2014 17:49:52 EST DAY 171 of 2014: A newly found benefit of Coconut Oil? Interesting short article I was reading in the July "Prevention" magazine about "Oil Pulling". I had never heard of this before, but Prevention describes it as the new "Scope" (mouthwash that is). The practice of "pulling" consists of swishing oil around in your mouth for 10 minutes or so. They say "A couple of studies indicate that pulling can curb cavities, gingivitis, and bad breath and is a legitimate substitute for Listerine or Scope, which are harsh alcohol mouthwashes and can dry yo... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 16:47:05 EST DAY 170 of 2014: Achy Breaky Heart My heart just aches for my little grandchildren. I don't think they realize that their mommy and daddy aren't going to come back and get them and take them home. They will definitely be way better off away from the situation they were living in, but I still know they will miss their mom. And Verity will miss her dad. I was trying to explain to the oldest, who is almost 8, that they won't be going back home, that now they will be living with me, and I don't think he grasps the concept. I... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 23:10:43 EST DAY 169 of 2014: BIG changes ahead Just heard from my daughter that her husband is reconsidering keeping their 2 year old. So I may be taking her too, along with the two boys. If that happens, I will probably move back down to the Dallas area so that I can have my other daughters close by to help with their care. If I get a stomach virus or the flu, there is no one around to help me with the kids at all. The oldest is almost 8 and would be capable of making a sandwich if needed, but I cannot hold him responsible for watchi... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 13:48:46 EST DAY 168 of 2014: Hot outside, but that's all relative It is hot out today, right now my WeatherBug icon says it is 87 degrees out. And very humid out too. I am having to empty my dehumidifiers every two-three days. My cabin is about 650 square feet and I have 3 two-cup dehumidifiers in the house. That is a lot of water! But that temp is nothing compared to what we used to deal with when I lived in Texas. Every summer we would have at LEAST 60 days over 100 degrees with rarely any rain. And when we did have rain it was severe, with high w... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 19:02:46 EST DAY 166 of 2014: A Father or a Daddy? As the old saying goes "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy". Yep, true, true. I gave birth to a child that I didn't get to keep or raise because I was coerced into something I really didn't want to do, and I became a mother...and the young man became a "father". But he never became a "daddy". <BR> <BR> Unlike my mother, my dad was the sweetest, kindest, gentlest, humblest man ever. After he left the army, he went to work welding airplane parts in the eveni... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 09:10:36 EST DAY 165 of 2014: Food Obsessions/Compulsive Overeating I admitted years ago that I am obsessed with food. It was difficult for me to hear my doctor say I was "morbidly obese". First of all, I didn't feel heavy, even though I was wearing size 18. It was/is easy for me to put blinders on and not admit or even realize how heavy I was and still am. Secondly, that "morbidly" word scared me. My overeating could kill me now. That being said, I admit that I am also a compulsive overeater. I used to go to Overeaters Anonymous (O.A.), and that help... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 07:51:31 EST DAY 164 of 2014: Gremlins in the house I have been looking for my Spark Tracker for a week since I lost it. I went to every store I visited to no avail. I was so bummed, and almost ordered another yesterday. Then all of a sudden, it showed up yesterday in the middle of the kitchen floor. I have swept the floor numerous times. It wasn't there previously. No teeth marks on it for me to think the pups had gotten a hold of it. I can't figure it out unless I have gremlins in my house. Whatever the reason, just glad to get it ba... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 14:02:23 EST DAY 163 of 2014: How to Look Thinner in Photos Good Morning all you beautiful Sparkers out there! I hope today is starting out great for you! No matter what your weather or circumstances, your day will go according to your attitude. So be positive, uplifting to others, and smile! Your day will be awesome! <BR> <BR> I know because we are all on Spark people, we are all thin, fit, and look exactly how we want to look, right?! Wrong! We all desire to be fit, thinner, and look whatever awesome is in our own mind, but most of us are n... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 07:49:50 EST DAY 162 of 2014: Crazy days Hugs to all my friends. Miss interacting with you. Reading your comments, thank you for your support, which is greatly appreciated. Things will get back to semi normal once Verity goes back to her house with her dad. I have decided to quit potty training. She has no clue nor any desire to potty train and it is becoming too stressful for both of us. So I will send the training pants home with her and that is that. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 11 Jun 2014 20:54:20 EST DAY 161 of 2014: Another busy day Took the kids to my church friend's house for a couple of hours today. She volunteered to watch the kids while I did a newborn photo shoot. I think I got some good shots. I was happy to use some of my new props. The kids seemed to have fun over there. She has 3 dogs, a cat, a bird, and 6 chickens. And she let them help her plant some plants. My daughter called me last night and said that she is going to let me take the boys for the next school year, so I will have a busy year coming up... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 18:10:38 EST DAY 160 of 2014: New best friends Just wanted to share quickly today this cute little photo of my granddaughter and my dog, Tessa. The dogs absolutely LOVE the kids. I was so worried about Tessa, here with 2 year old Verity, and how she would be with them. But she has been great. Tessa and Verity have become good friends. Toby has decided that he is not sleeping with me any more, he is sleeping with the boys. While Verity is here, and sleeping with me, that is fine, but I miss my Toby in bed after having him 4 years. ... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 17:23:26 EST DAY 158 of 2014: Busy Day today! Whew! Forgot how time consuming and exhausting taking care of little kids full time is. The 6 and 7 yr olds are a piece of cake, but the 2 year old... wow. I am ready for her to go to bed, yet we have another half hour. However, we were busy today and she didn't take a nap, so maybe I'll put her to bed in about 15 minutes. The boys go to bed at 8:30, and I may be going soon after. We have church in the morning, it will be the first time for the boys since they were babies, and the firs... Sat, 7 Jun 2014 20:23:00 EST DAY 157 OF 2014: Gods' Great Blessing: Grandchildren Grandkids are on their way! I will have the boys (6 and 7) for the summer and the girl (2) for a week. Will be busy and exciting for them and me! Hopefully, we won't trip over each other in my 640 square foot cabin, lol. <BR> Have a great day! Fri, 6 Jun 2014 07:23:59 EST