PEAWINKLE's SparkPeople Blog PEAWINKLE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Will this be the week I take control? ROFLMAO...... I spent at least 2 hours writing an entry and when I hit submit I got an error message and it all disappeared. I'm sure the fact that it took 2 hours has something to do with why I got an error message when trying to post but seriously it would have been nice if I could have used the back key and found my entry waiting for me! Why am I laughing? Because that just seems to be my life lately. Try, try, try and then fall on my face. <BR> <BR> Now, to be honest, it took me 2 ho... Sun, 20 Apr 2014 20:21:18 EST Trying to Find My Way Back It happened again. I lost weight last summer because I was focused and stress free and then the school year started. Over the last few months while I worked ridiculous hours during the school year I gained back everything I lost over the summer and now I'm back to where I started. <BR> <BR> Why can't I get a handle on this? <BR> Why do I let stress get the best of me? <BR> How can I juggle the demands of my job and still have time to focus on my health? <BR> <BR> I absolutely MUST figur... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 20:28:43 EST Lost my way.... I've been an eating fool the last few weeks. As soon as I got back into my classroom and got busy I lost the focus on my health. It's been probably 3 weeks and I don't know how much I've gained back but I've definitely gained some back. Which stops today. <BR> <BR> I went to the grocery store and bought vegetables and yogurt and made sure the crap was out of the house. I already had fish, eggs, burrito fixins and other healthy options in the house so I really didn't have to buy much. Wh... Sun, 25 Aug 2013 22:23:27 EST Starting a New School Year!!! I swore I wasn't going to go into my classroom early this year but I just couldn't stand it!! As soon as I saw other teachers from my school posting updates about their rooms on Facebook I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away. Unlike the last few years I haven't spent the entire day at school. I make myself leave by noon and go home in time to eat a decent lunch..... except for today. I left at noon but I had to go to the teacher store (to pick up FREE supplies) before going home. I may no... Wed, 7 Aug 2013 19:56:49 EST Feeling Stronger Today I made good choices today, not perfect but good. MUCH better choices than yesterday. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm not working towards perfection and I'm not going to lose this weight over night. It is only going to happen through changing my habits - eating and working out. <BR> <BR> While at the grocery store I picked up a bag of animal cookies - the ones that used to come in a little circus decorated box. I've always loved those and vanilla wafers over any other type of coo... Tue, 30 Jul 2013 19:45:43 EST Struggling! Why is this such a struggle? As I do with all weight loss journeys I start off with a bang and then slowly start to fizzle until I eventually gain back all the weight I lost--- plus a few pounds more. <BR> <BR> I don't want to live my life in a vacuum but it seems that when I go back into the world I lose my focus. One bad day turns to two days and two days becomes a week. As you can see from my blogs I started struggling around the middle of July but this past Thursday I really fell off t... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 10:15:56 EST Keep It Away From Me!!!! Will there ever be a day when I can have a package of cookies, a bag of chips or any of the other numerous trigger foods in my house? I started this most recent journey in June and have lost 24 pounds. I know this is a fabulous accomplishment and I'm proud that this time around I'm changing my habits and losing weight the right adding in fruit and veggies and focusing on less processed foods. The problem lies in that if I had any of the afore mentioned foods in the house I would ea... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 21:52:09 EST Fear of Failure I was disappointed when the scale only showed a loss of .4 this morning. I know I should be happy the scale is moving in the right direction but I want it moving that way QUICKER! I was in a funk all morning about it but I didn't stray from my plan like I may have in the past. Instead, I took a look at my trackers to see what the problem may be. <BR> <BR> I came to the conclusion that I'm not drinking enough water (I tend to drink unsweetened ice tea) and I'm inconsistent with my exercisi... Fri, 19 Jul 2013 20:39:22 EST My First Diet Hiccup.....this time around. It was bound to happen. I've been sailing along, staying within my calorie range, controlling my overeating urges, even adding in some exercise and then BAM (that's me hitting the proverbial diet wall). <BR> <BR> I had a terrible time falling asleep Monday night and sometime around 3am I had this brilliant idea that getting up to weigh myself would do the trick. I guess I thought if the scale showed I had lost even more weight the little dream fairies would come take me to La-La Land. Well... Tue, 16 Jul 2013 10:34:28 EST Losing Focus? All the times I've lost weight in the past (and there have been many), I was gung-ho in the beginning but as soon as I lost 20 pounds and my clothes started feeling loose I'd revert back to my bad habits! <BR> <BR> Well, I've lost 19 pounds and my clothes are loose so right about now I should be driving through a McDonalds for a congratulatory Big Mac. Weird, but I don't want one. For dinner tonight I actually COOKED. If you knew me, you'd know that doesn't happen often. I looked up one o... Fri, 12 Jul 2013 00:11:36 EST Independence Day--- Freedom I remember when I quit smoking I was surprised by the freedom it brought me. Freedom from worry. Did I remember to put a pack...and a lighter in my purse? Do I have enough cigarettes? If not, do I have enough money to pick up a pack? Will I have to go outside to light up? I no longer had to worry about this extra burden I had placed on myself and it felt fantastic. I have been smoke free for at least 5 years but I still remember very vividly when that feeling of freedom from cigarettes first... Thu, 4 Jul 2013 09:43:24 EST Disappointed I was looking forward to jumping on the scale today. I felt like I lost at least 2 pounds, if not more. Imagine my surprise when the scale said I'd lost a measly half pound. A HALF POUND?! How can that be? I'll admit, I feel my past obsessions closing in on me. I've long been obsessed with the scale but I promised I would only weigh myself once a week - I weighed myself 3 times this week....each time getting more frustrated that it wasn't showing a different number. How can a 315 pound wom... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 12:01:33 EST What's Different This Time? I woke up feeling strong today. I knew I was going to have a high calorie lunch with a friend. I had planned for it, been thinking of it and had every intention of cleaning everything off my plate (and I did). Because I had planned for it I had a small piece of fruit for breakfast and logged both breakfast and my planned lunch into my food tracker (there's one difference). <BR> <BR> After eating my burger and fries I thought, "Mmmhh, that was good but the burger was kinda greasy." In the ... Fri, 28 Jun 2013 17:31:21 EST Struggling but Hanging in There! It happens every time. About 3 weeks in I start struggling. Today is the first day since I started Sparking again that I am struggling not to go over my calorie limit. I'm not really hungry. It's late and I should just go to bed but here I sit playing games on my laptop and surfing the internet. Thank goodness I don't have any snacky type foods in the house! <BR> <BR> I'm bored with my food choices. That's what I do. I eat the same few meals over and over again, get bored, give up and go ... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 23:23:17 EST Defining Success This time around I'm learning to define my success in ways other than the amount of weight I lose every week. Believe me I'll be jumping up and down tomorrow if I have a decent weigh-in but eventually weight loss slows down and I have to remember how I felt at my highest weight, eating processed crap! I was lethargic, my body ached and I craved fast food and sugar. <BR> <BR> 2 weeks later: <BR> - Seatbelt lays better across my chest <BR> - I can get up from a sitting or lying position easi... Sat, 22 Jun 2013 22:30:24 EST Don't Make the Same Mistakes! It's easy to start a diet. Ugh, I really hate that word. As I was saying, it's easy to start a diet, it's harder to stay on a diet. As many of us are, I'm an emotional eater. This past Tuesday after an emotional lunch with two work friends, I bought 6 cupcakes along with my fruit and veggies. I was (and am) proud that I ate only ONE cupcake that day and stayed under my daily calorie limit. In the past when I've been on a diet and bought sweets I would eat everything....all of it.....every... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 20:52:13 EST First True Success! 6/12/13 I got back on track and back on Sparkpeople! I was really sick all week long but stuck to my calorie range (actually a little lower) and kept my choices in the healthy range. Yes, that is an accomplishment all its own but the REAL accomplishment came today. <BR> <BR> 6/16/13 Father's Day.... and my brother and I took my mom and dad to the movies and lunch. I wasn't even tempted to get popcorn even though the lady sitting in front of us had popcorn...with little pieces of chocolate i... Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:58:32 EST Back on Track.....again! The last time I posted an entry was at a particularly low point in my work year. I wish I could say the rest of the school year was better and maybe in some ways it was ( I learned to stay in my room, keep my mouth shut and my head down) but for the most part this school year SUCKED! <BR> <BR> Summer has finally arrived and it seems appropriate that I would catch a horrible virus/cold/whatever that has kept me on the couch for 3 days. It started with my blood pressure being way too high - 1... Fri, 14 Jun 2013 20:02:48 EST Being demeaned will not make me work harder! Why do some bosses think that they can speak to their employees anyway they like? My principal started off todays faculty meeting angry. He let all of us know that we aren't doing enough and we all suck at our jobs. Okay, so I'm paraphrasing.....a little. <BR> <BR> What he didn't recognize or acknowledge is that for the last 2 1/2 years the majority of the teachers have worked a ridiculous amount of (unpaid) overtime to improve our school grade. The problem is, our school's student populatio... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:30:32 EST Taking Back My Life For the past 5 years I have devoted most of my waking hours to my 4th and 5th grade students. I have to take back my life. I can no longer work the ridiculous hours that my job seems to require in order to get a decent evaluation. What did I get by putting in all those extra hours? More work, more responsibility and high expectations from my boss. I also got an extra 60 pounds (on an already overweight body), high blood pressure and borderline diabetes. <BR> <BR> I started taking back my l... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 21:13:58 EST Why am I still fat? I've been VERY focused for the last TWO whole days. I've eaten fruits and vegetables. I've worked out....both days. Shouldn't this be done by now? Shouldn't my pants start to feel lose by now? <BR> <BR> (Heavy sigh) <BR> <BR> I know, I know, it takes longer than 2 days to lose half my current body weight. It certainly took more than 2 days of eating a ridiculous amount of food to get me in this predicament. <BR> I have to think about this as a life change and not a temporary way of eat... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 21:01:49 EST Happy New Year! I always start off the year committed to making the changes necessary to lead a healthy life and then life sets in and I fall back into the bad habits that have gotten me to the ridiculous weight of today. How will this year be any different than all the rest? ................pause......... No answer is coming my way....... I'm still waiting for that epiphany......still nothing. <BR> <BR> Well, I guess I'd better come up with something, because this year MUST be different or I'm afraid the... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 00:39:40 EST Staying Focused I'm staying focused on my goals. I tracked all my food - even though I went over on calories. My focus right now is NO fast food and track what I eat as well as being active every day. I met all those goals today. I didn't do an actual workout but I did power wash my back patio along with a bunch of stepping stones. All in all it took me almost 3 hours and I have a feeling my arms, back and legs are going to be pretty sore tomorrow. Thu, 27 Dec 2012 20:06:09 EST