PDXROLLSROYCE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=PDXROLLSROYCE PDXROLLSROYCE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Just plain tired... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5187478 I don't want to wake up in the morning... I don't want to go to sleep at night... Food never sounds good to me... I just want to give up. Buried in debt, buried in bills, only having a part time job, it all adds up. I'm sick and tired of being behind. I'm tired of not having enough money. I'm tired of not being happy in my own life. I just want to be comfortable. Thu, 3 Jan 2013 04:51:39 EST Fighting an addiction is difficult http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5159497 I don't smoke... I don't use illegal drugs... I abuse caffeine. When you start drinking it you don't think its addictive... you're just thirsty... well... here I am, about to start a dark road of no energy drinks. <BR> <BR> I know there will be withdrawl symptoms... especially massive headaches. I'm going to feel tired and lousy for a while. I'm just hoping that I can make that push to switch from energy drinks down to regular soda and then down to water/juice/milk. I'm fed up with feeling ... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 17:08:35 EST Down and out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5156182 Wow a lot has changed since I first started thinking about loosing weight. I've had minor health set backs and entered a state where I thought my weight just wasn't going to change. Well, I've been 2 months post surgery now and am itching to get on the right path and perhaps loose some of the weight that I've had for a while. I just want to feel healthier. <BR> <BR> I sit here, watching the rain pour outside... drinking another Rockstar and contemplating the idea of change. It sounds good..... Tue, 4 Dec 2012 16:46:55 EST The wagon is a bumpy ride http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4598389 I will be the first to admit that I've fallen off the wagon. I never made a follow up appointment to get my cortisol level checked, mostly because I just don't have the money. I started eating the same foods again and even though I've joined a gym I just don't seem to go. I'm sitting here this thanksgiving thinking about my life and how far away I am from what I thought I would be. <BR> <BR> I got a promotion at work, though I won't see any raises until my review in June. Its nice to have a... Thu, 24 Nov 2011 22:37:15 EST Endocrinologist http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4535871 So that was a bust... he said that I could take all the vitamin d I wanted to and it wouldn't make a difference in my fatigue levels. In reviewing my blood work from my primary care doctor he said everything looked normal except my cortisol levels. He said they were just slightly low and by slightly he meant 0.5 off of the normal. He listened to my breathing, checked my thyroid by touch, felt around my belly and then took my blood pressure laying down and after standing up. He said that my bl... Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:13:35 EST The inner struggle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4533104 Its only day 3 and I already slipped and ate some McD's because it was quick (and the train crossing was blocking my way to the grocery store)... I need to find good options for food while I'm at work. We have two refrigerators and it seems like every day they are packed to the brim. Maybe I just need to eat peanut butter sandwiches... <BR> <BR> Coming home today I felt tired and emotionally drained from the days news. My great aunt is in the hospital again and who knows the outcome this ti... Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:56:31 EST Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4529544 What a Monday... I worked an extra hour today but for some reason it felt like an eternity. I hit the snooze button and left a little behind schedule which is something else I'd like to change. I took my new Fiber One cereal to work with me and grabbed a cup of yogurt on the way out. Replacing my Rockstar's with water is a challenge... the headache today was almost unbearable. But, today I feel like I did okay. I had the yogurt and a cup of cereal for breakfast at work, had another cup of cer... Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:31:30 EST Dinner on D-Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4527831 Well, in announcing my plan to my partner, Amanda, she decided to also give the website and mobile app a try. We discussed some exercise options and some meal options. Tonight, we are having ground turkey and homemade mashed potatoes. I know that cooking is one of our weaknesses since we have such awkward schedules. Hopefully we will be able to find some solutions that work. Mon, 10 Oct 2011 03:12:59 EST The Decision http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4527706 It all came to a head this week. I looked in the mirror and what I saw absolutely disgusted me. I feel like physically I am at the lowest point in my life. I am at my heaviest and the number on the scale frightens me. At age 24 and at 170lbs I feel like I am at the bottom. So where else is there to go? I am turning here in hopes that it will help my motivation last longer than a few days. I know that there are several challenges that await me. I'm not sure I am ready for all of them. But this... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 00:03:36 EST