PCOH051610's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=PCOH051610 PCOH051610's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Turning the corner http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955900 Hi, <BR> <BR> By this time most of my Spark Friends know that I have lived with depression since childhood and that I recently narrowly averted a complete crisis by reaching out for help. It took two calls to the mental health crisis line, one 100km return trip to see my psychiatrist, an adjustment to my medications, and an emergency appointment with my counsellor just to keep me from admitting myself to the hospital. <BR> <BR> Oh, and add in having a few wonderful friends, a very loving h... Sun, 5 Jul 2015 15:30:54 EST Question for fellow dog owners http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955361 Hi, <BR> <BR> At one of my recent counselling sessions I mentioned to my therapist that I fear I'm not a good enough dog owner and I feel guilty going anywhere without them. <BR> <BR> What constitutes enough? I'm really struggling with this at the moment. We have three dogs and they are indoor dogs. Every morning they are walked and taken to an area they can run off leash. They go in our truck once a day for a drive and at night they are walked about 2 km off leash. <BR> <BR> Oh, and I o... Sat, 4 Jul 2015 11:11:24 EST This random picture just makes me laugh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5952734 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/c48132d2-1eee-4b5d-9091-f8004a6f053d.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I'm really trying to outwit my mental funk. I got up early, ate breakfast (yay) and went for a walk throughout town. I'm using the Map My Walk app and I really like it (although it is a bit disconcerting to be walking along and suddenly hear this voice telling you your distance)...the first time it happened I actually squealed! Yes, I can adjust the volume or turn it off but it's kind of mot... Mon, 29 Jun 2015 11:42:00 EST Worse, much worse http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5952250 I wish I didn't have to write this blog and it's really okay if you don't read beyond this point. But, I'm really struggling mentally....again! I can honestly say I was one tear away from self-admitting myself to be psych ward. <BR> <BR> Luckily, I have my psychiatrist and counsellor on "speed dial" and they, together with John, have helped me...yet again. Today I only cried once and it was over in minutes as opposed to a few days ago when I went through an entire box of tissues! <BR> <BR... Sun, 28 Jun 2015 14:42:42 EST Seeing the "plus" side of having to buy bigger clothes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5945550 Hi! <BR> <BR> For the record this is second dang attempt at writing this so if it fails this time there will be no blog today. Hey, that sounds like a good Newfoundland joke. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> And, no, I AM NOT PREGNANT! <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> As my regular readers know, I've put on some weight lately and we all know it's purely emotional. Referring, of course to the cause of my weight gain. But, I'm working hard on my mental health because I don't know where I'd be without that. ... Mon, 15 Jun 2015 12:11:34 EST You can have all the support you want but it all comes down to YOU http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5943565 Hi, <BR> <BR> It took a recent phone call to our provincial mental health crisis line to see the truth in the following statement. "You can have all the support you want and or need but ultimately it all comes down your willingness to change" <BR> <BR> Mind you, that is not what they told me in so many words because they were great and I was in crisis mode. But, they were very helpful and reassuring which is basically what I needed at the time. It was afterwards, when I finished my "wallowi... Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:29:27 EST Resuming my journey - not giving up after slipping up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5937795 Hi, <BR> <BR> For the record, I'm NOT starting over because that would mean, at least to me, that all of my efforts up to now have been got naught. Yes, I'm heavier now than I have ever been throughout my Spark journey BUT my weight is just one component of who I am. <BR> <BR> <BR> ***********Repeat after me "I am not defined by a number on a weigh scale"*************** <BR> <BR> I've said right from the beginning that my relationship with SparkPeople and my wonderful SparkFriends is one... Mon, 1 Jun 2015 10:18:28 EST To all Spark members who are parts of competitive teams - esp 5% challenges http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5931365 Hi, <BR> <BR> Just let me get this off my chest. THERE IS NO "I IN TEAMS!!! <BR> <BR> A healthy and rewarding team experience comes about when no matter your performance you are still a valued team member. I've been a member of the wonderful Teddy Bear team as part of the quarterly 5% challenges for a few years and I have never, ever felt unloved, unsupported or not welcome. At times my efforts have been dismal and there have been time's when my efforts flourished. Ditto for my results. But... Wed, 20 May 2015 11:29:47 EST Are your S.M.A.R.T. goals sabotaging you? Would flex-goals work better? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5927595 Hi, <BR> <BR> Like many of you, I began my Spark journey with their recommendation of setting daily goals. It is believed that once you focus your efforts on successfully meeting those daily goals you are more likely to ingrain these things as habits. And these little tweaks to our lifestyle are the cornerstone of healthy living, which is our overall goal. Right? <BR> <BR> According to many "gurus", goals have to be Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Timely. <BR> <BR> So, when ... Wed, 13 May 2015 15:33:38 EST New makeup? Picture http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5924412 Hi, <BR> <BR> You're probably all wondering about my blog title? I'm normally not much of a makeup wearer despite loving the stuff. I only ventured into the whole "girlie" side of me when I hit 40 and up until then had probably worn makeup two or three times in my life....and very minimal at that!!! <BR> <BR> Anyway, a friend of mine (who works as a cosmetician) recently went on a trip to Montreal and Ottawa and brought me back a Chanel eyeshadow palette and a Cargo blush. You can't buy eit... Thu, 7 May 2015 18:24:26 EST Week 4 recap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5921253 Hi, <BR> <BR> Well, I weighed in at 233.6 this morning so I've officially lost four pounds. I walked everyday <em>104</em> this past week but didnt always make the healthiest food choices. <em>4</em> <BR> <BR> Mentally it's been a good week <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I finished work on Thursday and am looking forward to having the next four months off. Most years I've dreaded the layoff because I need human contact BUT this year I'm longing for the break. <BR> <BR> My counsellor is... Sat, 2 May 2015 10:19:28 EST My journey of 3000 km has consisted of many itty-bitty steps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5918460 Hi! <BR> <BR> When I joined SparkPeople back in the late summer of 2010, I could barely walk the length of myself. Seriously. At the time we had one dog (Maddy our Pomeranian) and I was quite content to walk him for about five minutes....total!!! Then we rescued a Lab (Louisa) who was still hyper so we needed to "tire her out" for peace of mind. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/1/l514043852.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I recently passed my 3000 km! Holy batman! What's even ... Mon, 27 Apr 2015 10:32:17 EST Week 3 - recap and something I'm really excited about! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5918069 Hi, <BR> <BR> Last week I wrote about how upset I was about gaining weight. For those that didn't read that blog I will confess it was only a gain of 2 ounces. Yes, you read that correctly....a gain of 2 ounces threatened to derail my plan. <BR> <BR> This week I weighed myself and I gained and additional 14 ounces so my initial weight loss of four pounds overall is now down to three. BUT, I'm not upset. I did have a pretty bad week emotionally but I think I walked every single day. I also ... Sun, 26 Apr 2015 17:42:59 EST Changing my way of thinking - biggest challenge yet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5915702 Hi, <BR> <BR> As some of you know I have started being seen by a psychologist/occupational therapist along with my psychiatrist. I've only had two appointment with Lori and I find them to be demanding and yet rewarding. I actually have homework and it is causing me to answer some uncomfortable questions. <BR> <BR> The first week was looking at my way of thinking. Oh, boy! At first I sort of got my back up and thought to myself that I didn't have any problem with thinking. Ha! But, it was mo... Wed, 22 Apr 2015 10:08:31 EST Week 2 review of the 5% challenge - team Teddy Bears http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5913366 Hi, <BR> <BR> To be honest I've had a totally off week. I returned to work and my boss was concerned about me. I started to brush her off and say, "oh, I'm fine" but instead I chose honesty. I told her I'm emotionally fragile, I'm not sleeping and I feel drained bUT that I felt having a reason to get up each morning helps. Bless her for understanding and for being supportive. <BR> <BR> I am finished work in two weeks (until September) and this is the hardest time I've had with just getting... Sat, 18 Apr 2015 09:44:54 EST A picture blog - check it out if you are a dog lover! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5911328 This is how I really feel about my relationship with dogs: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1809980559.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Treat time during today's walk <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/5/l354520147.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Three out of four of my sweeties Ginger, Louisa and Maddy....I don't need a leash for my husband (the fourth sweetie!) <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l190356699.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Our friend's dog whom we "ba... Tue, 14 Apr 2015 18:15:43 EST Review of my first week with 5% Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5909317 Hi! <BR> <BR> Well who would have "thunk" it <em>40</em> but by walking each day, drinking my water and tracking my food I managed to lose 4 pounds this week. Me! <em>211</em> Yes, and I can hear the naysayers (mainly my mother) muttering that the first pounds come off quickly and that i shouldn't get my hopes up. But darn it my hopes are up <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> This week wasn't hard. I didn't do any extreme dieting nor was I ever inside a gym door (no offence to those that go t... Sat, 11 Apr 2015 09:54:10 EST Involvement + Motivation = Success http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5906947 Hi, <BR> <BR> I've been doing a lot of thinking (yes, that was my brain sending out smoke signals and not a local forest fire!) and I've come to an astounding conclusion. Insert drum roll here...... <BR> <BR> I NEED Spark and everything it entails! I've been a member for almost five years and I started to look back over my blogs, my successes, my failures, etc. I have found that when I walk away from Spark I start to go downhill...and since I'm not a skier <em>329</em> going downhill is ... Tue, 7 Apr 2015 09:20:58 EST When your doctor says , "You are dying on the inside" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5904739 Hello! <BR> <BR> Greeting from my very sunny back deck where I'm out getting some vitamin D. Mind you, I'm wearing winter boots, my parka, my wool hat, and mitts BUT I'm outdoors!!!!! Just watching the dogs rolling in the snow brought a big smile to my face as did having my husband hand me out a steaming cup of coffee. <BR> <BR> I won't lie and say that all is well. I've had a very tumultuous year of mental issues and I'm not quite where I want to be yet. As a result, my weight is at its hi... Fri, 3 Apr 2015 10:41:12 EST Getting rid of the apostrophe "t" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5891119 Hi, <BR> <BR> Hello, my name is Susan and I am my own worse enemy. I either deliberately or unconsciously sabotage my attempts at a lifestyle makeover. Reminds me of those drivers we all see who constantly lean on their brakes - the ones my husband (who is not a speed demon) calls the scary drivers. "Oh, scary, scary, I'm going two kilometres over the speed limit" <BR> <BR> Anyway, I digress. I've really had a rotten few months and, if I'm honest, I haven't really been my chipper self sinc... Wed, 11 Mar 2015 12:51:58 EST I'm struggling - like a broken record http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882669 Hi, <BR> <BR> Like the proverbial broken record my mental health is stuck in a deep groove waiting for something to bounce it across the scratches of my life. <BR> <BR> Despite the weather forecasts and what you might see on the news my hometown has had a dismal winter snow wise. I prefer a lot of snow and cold sunny weather but this winter has been cloudy, a wee bit of snow, lots of freezing rain, and grey grey skies. <BR> <BR> I've not been walking for fear of falling and re-injuring my... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 18:47:15 EST And so my SparkName is back to what it always was...... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5867875 Hi, <BR> <BR> Within a few months of changing my Spark Username to DogMomma2Three, I have gone back to my original username of PCOH051610 and I'm sticking to it. I initially changed due to a computer competent co-worker who was basically cyber-stalking me but I've decided what the heck. Although I am the momma to three wonderful dogs, the name PCOH051610 holds such special meaning to me that I wanted, err, NEEDED to revert back to it. <BR> <BR> The name PCOH051610 stands for the name and d... Mon, 2 Feb 2015 12:14:00 EST Week 2 summary 5% challenge - ugh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5861456 Hi, <BR> <BR> It hasn't been my best week....understatement of the year <em>40</em> BUT this is a process and a journey. <BR> <BR> POSITIVES of the past week include: <BR> <BR> Drank my water <BR> Included more vegetables into our meals <BR> Walked 4/7 days (even when I had to wear ice grips on my boots) <BR> Shovelled snow (a weird positive but it's something I enjoy) <BR> Read more, watched less TV <BR> Recognized the signs of not feeling well mentally and booked a day off (I'm taking ... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 09:06:28 EST Hospitality and a day of cat rescuing. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5857295 Hi, <BR> <BR> Well today my friend and I drove to a coastal community where a feral momma cat was after having yet another litter of kittens. They were living underneath a shed and there have been people feeding them but they wanted to help this cat. Watching the kittens crawl through the snow to get to the baited traps was both sad and cute. They were the easy ones to trap and they will be going to the vet tomorrow for a health check and, hopefully, will never have to live outside again. Th... Sun, 18 Jan 2015 17:32:56 EST Week 1 of 5% challenge under my belt http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856340 Hi, <BR> <BR> The bottom line is I lost a half of a pound this week. Yes, it could have been better but, heck, it could have been a lot worse! <BR> <BR> I'm writing this for myself (if you want to continue to read go ahead) <BR> <BR> Positive things this past week: <BR> <BR> I walked 5 days! Even when it was cold <em>104</em> <BR> I managed to get my 8 glasses of water in each day (trying to get back I to this habit) <BR> I ate a healthy breakfast 4/7 days <BR> I meal planned <BR> Refr... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 10:25:44 EST What to do when even 5% weight loss seems unattainable http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5852072 Hi, <BR> <BR> I was reading a magazine earlier today and there was a great article written by a former Olympian who now is a motivational trainer for Canadian athletes. He was talking about how we often don't succeed because we think we can't. But what really struck me was when he suggested we ask ourselves "why NOT me"? <BR> <BR> I'm applying this to my weight loss attempts. Why do I think I will never be successful at this? It's time to re-read all of those lovely success stories and to ... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 19:03:15 EST Getting ready for the latest 5% Challenge! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5846632 Hi, <BR> <BR> After taking most of the past Fall off I'm back with a new attitude and new plan of attack. I've really let my health backslide over the past few months but I'm digging in and finding some much needed determination and stubbornness. <BR> <BR> Today is my first day back to work since December 18th (yes, it was a lovely break!) and I've been busy getting myself set up for this challenge. The main thing I'm doing this week is meal planning our supper meals. They won't be perfect... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 12:13:55 EST Doing well mentally..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5834561 Hi, <BR> <BR> I've been enjoying my little Spark break but I'm itching to resume my previous dedication come January. Mentally, I'm doing really good (fingers crossed!) and I'm trying hard not to let the stress and pressures of the holiday season wear me down. It's so not worth it and it's really not what Christmas should be. <BR> <BR> I'm off work as of tomorrow until early January so I hope to get out walking. I miss it when I don't get out and I think the dogs miss it even more than I d... Wed, 17 Dec 2014 18:02:49 EST I changed my SparkName and am going private - message me to befriend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5827071 Hi, <BR> <BR> Long time no chat! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I had a hard Fall (fall as in autumn and not a tumble) but I'm getting back to "normal". I also recently had an incident at work where I was "made to feel very uncomfortable" by a computer-savvy co-worker - hence the name change! It was in the form of an e-mail and it went to my personal e-mail so the username was revealed. I went to management straight away and put the e-mail on file should the harassment continue. <BR> <BR> An... Wed, 3 Dec 2014 16:06:58 EST Hello! Doggy news............. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816017 Hi, <BR> <BR> It seems like forever that I sat down to write a "newsy" blog. Don't hold your breath, either because this one is going to be relatively short. Just touching base. <BR> <BR> I'm feeling better and returned to work this week after being off since October 7th. In that time, my weight has skyrocketed, I've become more accepting of my diagnosis and the long term implications. I've come to realize that my brain is just another organ like any other and if I had trouble with my pancr... Thu, 13 Nov 2014 08:17:49 EST A very quick hello http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814404 I'm still here! A lot has happened in the past few weeks but the main thing is I'm still here. Right?! Mon, 10 Nov 2014 18:30:37 EST Coming clean about mental health - I've got a serious question to ask. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5806871 Hi, <BR> <BR> Well, I'd really like to know what in the heck is wrong with me. Yes, I know I have generalized anxiety disorder (actually I didn't until I heard my doctor tell a neurologist a few days ago) and I have severe clinical depression. <BR> <BR> Many of you have written and thanked me for openly talking about my struggles, which makes this even harder to write. While I talk about the need in getting rid of the stigma of mental illness I've realized that I'm actually perpetuating th... Wed, 29 Oct 2014 10:11:42 EST Look after the pennies..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5804106 Hi, <BR> <BR> Today was another of those awful days when I just felt like a complete failure. One of the things that has been bothering me is that I haven't been keeping up with Spark. It's even to the point where I scribble my mileage down on a slip of paper because logging into Spark is "too much". <BR> <BR> It was then I had a <em>189</em> moment. My mother's father always told her "if you look after the pennies the dollars will take care of themselves" and I thought about how that wa... Fri, 24 Oct 2014 17:33:03 EST Let's try this again.....video http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5799216 Hi, <BR> <BR> I'm attaching (err, trying to attach) a link to a wonderful video that was recently shot in the capital city, St. John's, of my home province of Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. <BR> <BR> Many of you know that I struggle with mental illness and some of you are encouraged that I share my struggles so that others may know that they are not alone. 99% of us may never meet face-to-face ,(I'm holding out hope that one day I will actually meet a few of you), but we are virtual fri... Thu, 16 Oct 2014 10:22:46 EST Very inspiring picture for those struggling........ http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5798694 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/0/l903678521.jpg"> <BR> <BR> For those of you who can't see what it says.... <BR> <BR> "On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days is 100%...and that's pretty good." ~ author unknown Wed, 15 Oct 2014 11:16:57 EST Why I am the worse possible choice for "motivator of the day" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5794190 Hi, <BR> <BR> While I sincerely appreciate the congratulatory messages, I really have no idea why or how I was selected as "motivator of the day". And I feel like a big, fat failure! Right now I couldn't motivate a slug, and in fact, that's what I feel like. A slug! <BR> <BR> My mental state is so bad right now that we considered hospitalization (we being my psychiatrist, myself and my husband) but "we" decided I would take ten days off from work, run more blood work and submit a request to... Tue, 7 Oct 2014 17:36:04 EST Sick, tired, overwhelmed - but still pushing! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793275 Hi, <BR> <BR> Whew, I'm really fighting the good fight with depression and anxiety right now. My moods are all over the place but mostly fluctuate being crying my eyes out and feeling normal. Luckily, feelings of anger are rare, although there are times! <BR> <BR> This is taking a horrible toll on our marriage. Yesterday I didn't even want to see John's face nor be receptive for a hug. I felt angry and I guess he was in my line of fire. <BR> <BR> True to form, I had to give myself a stern... Mon, 6 Oct 2014 09:02:53 EST For anybody struggling to eat healthy on a budget - check out this free resource http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786002 Hi, <BR> <BR> I guess because I work in a library I come across all kinds of sites, newsletters, etc when I'm doing a bit of research. Anyway, I found this site that mentioned a woman who is trying to make sure all people, even those on food stamps, can afford to eat healthy. <BR> <BR> <link>www.leannebrown.com/cookbooks/ </link> <BR> <BR> You can choose to download for free or purchase a book and the money you pay will go towards providing the book for somebody in need. What a great... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 09:08:34 EST A funny picture for those doing the 5% Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784872 Yes, I walked today! I had to force myself and this is what I looked like after 40 minutes of walking........... <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/3/l635335366.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Tropical Storm + Not wanting to Let My Teammates Down = Satisfaction <BR> <BR> Cannot get this to post right side up......aaarrrgghhhh <BR> Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:56:49 EST Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5783618 Hi, <BR> <BR> Thank you all for your concern, as always. I've been advised to keep a "mood" journal (I actually typed in the moody, which is perhaps more apt <em>20</em> ). This will also keep track of my food, moods, pain, exercise sleep habits, etc. Ugg, it sounds like sooooo much work but my doctor wants to see it in a month. I've just got to figure out a way to do it so it's something I don't dread, I.e. and give up doing! <BR> <BR> Metallic taste on my lips is still there but even str... Sat, 20 Sep 2014 17:28:04 EST Oh, dear! Hi, my name is Susan and I'm an Emotional Eater! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780164 Hi, <BR> <BR> A special shout out to my SparkFriend, CERIOUSLY, for reaching out through the miles and giving me a gentle nudge in the right direction. Because of her, I've joined up with the next 5% challenge and I'm proud to be a teddy bear once again. <BR> <BR> I'm going through some unexpected challenges right now so my fellow cubs have been warned they have to "bear" with me. My depression is in full force with daily bouts of anxiety thrown in for a bit of interest! I'm weepy for no r... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 09:11:37 EST When all else fails .... # 1 habit of healthy lifestyle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5774503 Hi, <BR> <BR> As many of you know I've been on a self-imposed Spark break for several weeks. I left, not knowing when I would return but confident that I WOULD return. As I write, I'm not even sure that I'm back, despite blogging at this very moment. <BR> <BR> One of the basics of SparkPeople is to establish good, healthy living habits. Habits are small, but effective changes that slowly, over time, become second nature to us. On a random search in Google, I found this image that basically... Sat, 6 Sep 2014 10:44:16 EST If you read my last blog this is the follow-up....please read http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5766138 Hi, <BR> <BR> As many of you know by now, my last blog struck a chord with many SparkPeople members. Some of you wrote on my SparkPage, some sent SparkGoodie, some sent me a private SparkMail and MANY of you commented directly on the blog itself. The support I received is both overwhelming and very touching! <BR> <BR> Depression is a very misunderstood illness and I believe to the depths of my soul that as bad as it may feel to admit you have been diagnosed it is much, much worse to suff... Sun, 24 Aug 2014 15:54:45 EST A very hard blog to write - why I'm walking away http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5762182 Hi, <BR> <BR> Most of you probably don't know this but I'm in a horrible place mentally, right now. I've never one to be overly anxious but these past few months have seen my anxiety levels reach unprecedented levels. My psychiatrist and I have delved into this and I told her my stomach feels like a huge knot and I'm no longer finding joys in the very simple things life has to offer. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, John and I, drove to a very secluded lake. As each mile passed under the truck's tire... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 14:08:04 EST Cutest dog picture ever? Yes, I might be biased http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5753557 Maddy was a very busy Pomeranian at the beach......... <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1386964515.jpg"> Tue, 5 Aug 2014 10:45:51 EST I'm a success story!!! LOL http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5747593 <em>244</em> <em>242</em> <em>345</em> to , non-other but, ME! Yes, I'm a success story and let me tell you how YOU can join the inner circle of success. <BR> <BR> Insert sound of screeching tires......why haven't you heard about this, you ask? Well, I'm so secretive and devious that I kept all of to myself <em>2</em> . I've so mastered the art of success that it just comes so easy so it's like a habit. Isn't that what Spark is all about? <BR> <BR> I know you are all dying to kn... Sun, 27 Jul 2014 15:03:56 EST What to do when you lose all motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745906 Hi, <BR> <BR> I'm rendered out with the heat we've been experiencing. Environment Canada says this is the hottest July on record for inland areas of our island. It's been between 28-32 degrees everyday and with the humidity it's much more icky! <BR> <BR> Anyhow, I've lost all motivation but I've decided to stay put! I'm not losing weight but I'm not gaining either so that's fine right now. I'm putting my anchor in and although my motivation ebbs and flows, I'm staying put. <BR> <BR> Sor... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 19:48:33 EST Beautiful day at the lake http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5742922 Hi, <BR> <BR> Armed with three maps (one hand drawn by my husband), a GPS, and a cell phone I took the three dogs on an adventure today. Our destination was our friend's cabin but it was mostly dirt roads that twisted and turned that would have been utterly confusing without the maps. Anyway, I arrived there safe and sound and spent a wonderful afternoon with them. Our dogs LOVED every minute of it. Whether it was a ride in our truck, stopping for pee breaks, stopping for a quick dip in the... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 19:12:44 EST More pictures!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5740676 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1931708937.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1097754160.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2045749252.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1912637962.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/4/l543136970.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2134026240.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:18:10 EST The long-awaited iceberg blog (pictures!!!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5738634 Hi, <BR> <BR> Some of my dearest SparkFriends have noticed that I haven't been "with it" lately and they are, of course, quite right. I'm overwhelmed by our weather which is kind of weird because Newfoundland isn't known for heat! 30 degrees is not hot for many of you but we went from 8 to 28 practically overnight. I still trying to adjust. The dogs don't want to go anywhere and are curled up in the house next to a fan! Seriously, we are down to one short walk a day plus, of course, time in ... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 12:43:53 EST