PAYES97's SparkPeople Blog PAYES97's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Starting over. Well I am starting over. I haven't really done much on here for about 5 years. I lost my way and now I am finally ready to do this. I started my new journey in July of this year (2014). Since then I have lost 14.5 lbs. <em>244</em> On here it doesn't show that much. This is because I had a couple weeks weight loss before I started tracking on here again. Just FYI <em>2</em> <BR> <BR> This time around my view on weight loss is different. Before it seemed like I was always dieting. Now... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 16:47:41 EST Was doing so well.... I was doing so well. I was back on track. I was logging my food, exercising, you name it and I was doing it right. Then all went away. For the past week I swear I have eaten everything in sight. I have even been eating when I'm not hungry. Just mindless eating. I have even had several days filled with candy. Granted it was the fat free kind, but still it was a lot of calories. At least 2 movie size boxes a day. I am so afraid to step on the scale at this point. I had lost my holi... Thu, 22 Jan 2009 19:18:22 EST 1/6/09 Well so far so good. I have been back on track since the 1/2/09 and I think I am doing pretty good. I have been eating pretty good, staying toward the lower/middle of my calories. I haven't done any late night snacking either! WOO HOO! That is a big thing for me. :) It probably has something to do with the fact that I am actually going to sleep early, well early for me (around 1:30 am). In the past I would fall asleep anywhere from 3:00 am to 7:30 am. And even when I would eventually fall asl... Tue, 6 Jan 2009 23:14:55 EST I'm back... Hi everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I can't tell you how happy I am that the holidays are over. I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Ever since Thanksgiving it has felt like I have had this dark cloud hanging over my head. I just did not care about anything. I ate over my calorie limit practically everyday. I really haven't exercised in a month and a half. I basically left sparkpeople. There were days I didn't even log in. I have had my wonderful friends here leav... Fri, 2 Jan 2009 15:40:59 EST lost my motivation for awhile Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I last blogged or done anything really on spark people. I lost my motivation for a while. I still am not a 100 % motivated, but I am working on it. I haven't worked out in a month, but I am planning on doing some cardio tomorrow with my dad. I haven't done to bad on the eating these past couple of weeks, expect for going over my calorie limit on several days. I didn't go out and binge or anything. Although I have been severely tempted to do so.... Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:58:57 EST 11/21/08 Hi everybody! I know I haven't been on that much lately, so I just wanted to blog to let everyone know I am still here. I have been doing pretty good with the my nutrition and exercise. The last two weeks I have been only mall walking for exercise...and it is working. I have finally broken out of the 240's. Yea! This also means I have met my first 10lb. goal. I'm going to treat myself to a movie probably next week, or the week after. It just depends. I really don't like going to the theater ... Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:28:03 EST 11/16/08 Well things are going ok. I have gotten back on track with my eating and exercise, but I am still feeling kind of blah. I think I have a sinus infection. I have been getting sinus headaches everyday. The pressure around my nose and eyes is pretty painful. I've been debating going to the doctor over it, but I know if it is just a sinus infection antibiotics won't help much. Hopefully it will clear up within the next few days. <BR> <BR> I wanted to thank everybody for their support. I really a... Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:03:40 EST 11/11/08 I took some time off. I just realized it has been almost a week since I have blogged or posted anything. I really didn't mean for so much time to pass, but I just didn't feel up to doing anything. This past week has been TOM for me and it was pretty bad this time. I spent several days under a heating pad, popping Tylenol as often as I could. It just sapped all the strength out of me. I didn't care about anything. I kept track of my food intake, but I didn't stress over it because I fe... Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:06:36 EST 11/5/08 I broke my no eating in the middle of the night streak last night. I had been so well too. A full week of no snacking in the middle of the night. I don't know what happened last night. I just got so hungry, I couldn't help myself. It may have something to do with the fact that I didn't eat that much during the day yesterday. I just wasn't hungry. I made myself eat lunch and dinner, because I knew I needed to. I didn't want to force myself to eat to much though. I guess it finally caught up wi... Wed, 5 Nov 2008 15:20:36 EST 11/4/08 A nurse from my mom's home health came by today. She and my mom started talking about losing weight and my mom mentioned spark people to her. She is really excited about it. She also asked me if she could call me and talk about weight loss with me. She would also like to start mall walking with me. She said that there isn't anybody else interested in walking with her and she doesn't like to do it alone. I told her I would be glad to walk with her. I just hope we can find a time that suits bot... Tue, 4 Nov 2008 22:47:03 EST 11/3/08 Went mall walking with my dad again today. He didn't complain at all this time. I think it is starting to get easier for him. We did two laps around the mall before I decided that was enough. Took like 30 minutes to do those two laps, with me stopping ever so often to rest. Dad also changed the seat on the new bike and replaced it with the old bikes seat. The new bike had this really hard small seat. I used it once and hurt for several days. I'm glad the old seat works. Tue, 4 Nov 2008 00:01:21 EST Time change The end of daylight savings time is going to take some getting used to. I'm getting hungry at the wrong times. Take tonight for example, I started to get hungry for supper at 4:30 pm. That is wayyy to early. If I were to eat at that time I would be eating again a couple of hours later. Hopefully it won't take to long for my body and the clock to sync up. <BR> <BR> Does anybody have any tips on how to deal with this? Sun, 2 Nov 2008 18:22:09 EST Egged Someone egged my dad's truck! I just mentioned to my dad that there had been a lot of car door's slamming and people making quite a bit of noise outside (this was a little after midnight). So being the retired cop that he is, he went outside to investigate....that's when he saw that his truck had been egged. Talk about one PO'd person! The eggs had already dried on the truck. He managed to get the eggs cleaned off and he doesn't think it damaged the paint...but we will have to wait til daylig... Sat, 1 Nov 2008 02:47:48 EST Happy Halloween! Just got some pictures in from Jen...Gia was a Butterfly Ballerina Princess for Halloween. I thought you guys might like to see. Jen said she had a really great time at her school's party and is looking forward to trick or treating tonight. <BR> <BR> Well I'm off to start my horror movie marathon YEA! I just love horror movies. I won't be partaking in any candy, but I think I might have some of that 94% fat free popcorn while I'm watching. <BR> <BR> Hope everybody has a fun and safe Hallowe... Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:05:56 EST 10/30/08 My dad is a big ole softy. He bought me a new exercise bike! I was just going around and pricing them so I could get an idea of who was the cheapest in town. That way I would know where to get one when I got my christmas money. Anyway we went to Academy Sports today and were looking at the bikes (dad even took out is reading glasses so he could read all the details on the tags), and we saw they had a couple on clearance. Well dad started looking them all over (comparing prices and features), ... Thu, 30 Oct 2008 17:05:40 EST mall walking Went mall walking today with my dad. Actually made it around the mall twice which is equal to one mile. It took me 30min. to do it and I had to stop and rest several times but I did it. Of course my dad was complaining it seemed like the whole time. I don't know why he didn't just stay home. <BR> <BR> I forgot that we actually have another stationary bike in storage (it was my uncles). We are going to pull it out and clean it up for me to use. The only thing is that I HATE that bike. The rea... Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:13:40 EST AHHHHH!!!!!!! My exercise bike broke!!! I went to get on it and stupid chain came off. I thought ok...I'll get my dad to fix it. He came in and fixed it, I went to get back on it and the stupid thing came off again! My dad came back in, messed around with it and declared it was broken. I don't know what I am going to do. I seriously doubt my dad will buy me a new one. He is forever complaining about money. I know that I can mall walk on some days, but it is just nice to have the bike. I don't have to worry... Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:42:06 EST 10/28/08 Last night was the first night in a while that I did not snack!! I can't believe I actually did it. Not eating at night has been a real struggle for me. I seem to get hungry around 2am. I even wake up hungry if I have fallen asleep. I resisted the urge last night (Yea!). I know it's only one night so far, but everybody has got to start some where. :) <BR> <BR> <BR> Tue, 28 Oct 2008 20:32:17 EST 10/27/08 I have found a great new way to pass the time while I am riding the exercise bike....I read. It seems to help the time go by faster. I also use the books as a motivator to ride the bike. If I don't ride then I can't read.Which is a big incentive since I just started this new vampire romance series that I love. So far there are 6 books in the series so it should keep me going for a while. <em>30</em> <BR> <BR> I want to say thank you to the Venting and Crying group for giving me the V&C sho... Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:34:34 EST 10/26/08 I made a change to my goals today. I originally had set a 20lb weight loss goal to be completed by 11/27/08. Well I took the time frame off. I realized every time I looked at the date I started to feel depressed and down on myself. I kept thinking to myself that I would never make the goal. So I made the decision today to do away with the time frame. I'm already feeling better. The pressure has been lifted. Now I'm thinking I might actually make the goal date, but it is ok if I don't. The m... Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:07:42 EST It's funny.... You know it's funny I was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis 18 years ago and I only found out today that the disease has a ribbon. I have noticed ribbons for a lot of different causes, but I never thought MG would have one (Teal). It is not a well known disease. Imagine my surprise when I found out there was one. Not only that but MG actually has an awareness month (June). I also found a site that sells merchandise about MG. There are shirts, hats, buttons, key chains, mouse pads etc. I think ... Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:16:24 EST getting back on track We went to the store today to get some healthier snacks. I found some fruit bowls on reduced price so I got them. I mean a bowl with 6.5 serving of fruit for $3.00 is not bad. We also got some other vegetables that can be cut up and used as snacks. My dad said that he is snacking a lot more now so we need healthier snacks. About the only snacks we had before were baked chips and those 100 calorie packs. So easy to go over on calories by eating those. Hopefully by getting these we will start r... Sat, 25 Oct 2008 15:17:53 EST 10/24/08 I'm kind of disappointed in myself. I was looking at my calorie counts for the last 6 days and I realized that I have been over my limit for 5 of those days. I do so well during the day, but the night is a different story. I can't seem to control myself. Take yesterday for example, I was at the low end of my calories after supper and was pretty happy. I started getting hungry about 9 pm but I chose to ignore it. The hunger went away a little while later. Then about 2 am it came back with a ve... Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:55:44 EST 10/23/04 I actually went to the mall today and walked. I have been afraid to do much walking because I never know when I am going to get tired and fall. I figured the mall would be a safe place to walk because of all the seating it has. If I got to tired I could just sit down and rest before I continued on. I made it completely around the mall once today. I decided that was enough because I was getting tired and didn't want to risk falling down. I kept a slow and steady pace for the most part. I only ... Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:57:43 EST 10/22/08 Wow. Yesterday was a pretty emotional day for me. I don't really even know how it happened. I was just sitting here trying to figure out what to write on my blog, when it all came pouring out. I guess I just really needed to relieve some of the build up of emotions. I should have known something like this was going to happen since I have been crying at a drop of a hat lately. I have even been crying at sappy commercials. It felt good to get it all out at first, but then the panic set in. The ... Wed, 22 Oct 2008 22:57:25 EST fears I am constantly second guessing myself. I have a hard time trusting myself to make the right decision about everything. I'm always afraid I am going to do or say the wrong thing. I'm afraid a lot of the time to express my own opinion for fear that it will sound stupid or that I will be told what I think is wrong (my dad tells me this a lot). I will smile and say I'm fine even when I'm not because I think the person who asked is not really interested in what is going on with me. People don't r... Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:22:28 EST 10/20/08 Woo Hoo! I have found a new snack that can be used for sweets cravings. It is the Little Debbie Nutty Bar PB Stix made with whole wheat wafers. It only has 90 calories, 9 carbs, 5 sugars, 2 protein and 5 fat grams. I know it is a little high in fat, but since I have been have trouble meeting my fat requirement I figured this would help. The bars are smaller than regular nutty bars and not covered with chocolate, but are still really good. I'm going to limit myself to 2 a day and only on the d... Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:15:34 EST 10/19/08 Things were going so well yesterday...however last night was a totally different story. I don't know if I had a stomach bug or just have been eating too much fiber, but last night was not fun. It came on all of a sudden too. I was just watching a DVD and WHAM! My stomach started to cramp. It got so bad that I was actually considering going to the minor emergency room. I'm feeling better today, but I can still feel twinges in my stomach. I'm going to take it easy today and eat pretty bland fo... Sun, 19 Oct 2008 13:15:35 EST 10/18/08 I read this great article about what to eat to stay energized throughout the day. It gave some really good food tips that I am going to try out. <BR> <link><BR>1829/top-10-eating-tips-to-stay-energi<BR>zed-all-day </link> <BR> <BR> Things have been going pretty good today. I am loving the cooler weather. It is unusual to have such nice weather at this time of the year. I am used to it being still in the mid to upper 80's at this time of the year. Mayb... Sat, 18 Oct 2008 19:24:51 EST 10/17/08 I'm finally getting back into some sort of routine. I did my cardio today. It has been a week since I have done it. I know I probably got cardio in while Gia was here, but with the stationary bike I can actually track the minutes and calories burned. <BR> <BR> I weighed myself Wednesday and had only lost like half a pound. I got back on the scale Thursday and I had dropped another 2lbs. The only thing I can think of is water weight from TOM coming off. I weighed today just to check and I st... Fri, 17 Oct 2008 19:57:10 EST resting Jen and Gia went to spend the day with Jen's mom so I am having rest and trying to get my nutrition tracker caught up. I forgot just how exhausting Gia is. I was sooo tired yesterday. I actually thought about having a coke or candy bar for the caffeine. I didn't, but I seriously thought about it. I don't like coffee so that is out. I have been doing pretty good food wise since they got here. The biggest problem has been actually eating. I was so tired yesterday from trying to keep up with Gia... Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:51:43 EST weekend Well Gia and Jen are on their way here. They should be here in about an hour. I can't wait to see them. I got my cardio in today so I don't have to worry about riding the bike while Gia is here. My weekends are normally just for strength training with Sunday do nothing day. I will probably get more cardio in this weekend just by having Gia here, so it should all work out ok. Gia is just a little bundle of energy. It's funny my dad has to take naps when they come down because Gia wears him out... Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:21:14 EST 10/9/08 Today has been an ok day. Have been really tired all day. Sleepy tired not weak tired. I feel like I could sleep for days. I know I got plenty of sleep last night, but am still really tired. I have been fighting taking a nap because in the past when I have taken one I don't sleep at night. If I go to bed to early I wind up waking up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep. I think I will try for a 10pm bed time tonight. Hopefully that is late enough that I won't wake up during t... Thu, 9 Oct 2008 19:15:54 EST Netflix I was browsing through Netflix's instant viewing yesterday and came across their fitness section. I couldn't believe how many workout videos they have on instant viewing. There are all kinds: long videos, 10 workout, dancing, core exercises, aerobics, pilates, yoga and so many more. They even have Jillian from The Biggest Loser videos on there. I didn't go through all of them. I did pick one of the ab workout video and watched it. Yes I just watched without doing...I just wanted to see if it ... Wed, 8 Oct 2008 21:07:12 EST Good Day Today has been a pretty good day. I actually got out of the house today. I went to the business showcase. It was pretty cool. I got to check different businesses here in town and got a lot of free stuff like pens, koozies, pads and even got a calculator. There was a lot of temptation at the showcase though. They had free lunch (chicken salad, tuna salad, roasted ham and turkey), cookies, chips, candy and chocolate covered strawberries (ALL FREE). I resisted though. <em>104</em> I even turned... Tue, 7 Oct 2008 19:23:10 EST Time off helped Taking this weekend off from exercising helped. I was able to complete my cardio today and my back is feeling a little better. I stayed on track with my eating this weekend so I don't have anything to worry about there. I'm going to look into getting one of those exercise balls for the crunches. Hopefully I won't fall off too many times. <em>30</em> Now if I can just get my cat to quit swatting at me when I ride my exercise bike everything would be wonderful. <em>41</em> <em>241</em> Mon, 6 Oct 2008 18:25:04 EST Took the weekend off I took the weekend off from exercise. I was going to try to get some strength training in today, but my back is still bothering me so I decided to just take the day off. Since I didn't do anything yesterday either, I took the weekend off. I am hoping that by doing this I can meet my goals this week. I'm not going to feel guilty either. Sometimes we just need to give our bodies a rest. I have done more exercise these past three weeks, than I have done in months. Granted not all at once like mo... Sun, 5 Oct 2008 19:19:11 EST crunches I did crunches for the first time yesterday. Boy am I regretting it. It's not my abdomen hurting either, it's my back. As soon as I got down on the floor, I knew it was probably a mistake. I don't normally get on the floor intentionally. But there I was on my exercise mat. I did them and was feeling pretty good about myself until I tried to get up off the floor. Man that was a pain. I had to pull myself up using the furniture. All the while calling myself names for getting on the floor to beg... Sat, 4 Oct 2008 21:40:59 EST feeling better I think not doing anything yesterday really helped. I feel much better today (so far). I was able to get my cardio in this morning without much problem. I think maybe I have been pushing my body to hard. I know better though. Myasthenia is really an endurance muscle disease. You can do some things, but if you push to hard you wind up doing more harm than good. I really need to listen to my body more. I had been weaker than normal for a couple of days, but I kept going. Then wham yesterday it ... Fri, 3 Oct 2008 13:59:52 EST Tired Today hasn't been a very good day. My myasthenia is really kicking my behind today. I am just so weak. I have taken an extra dose of mestinon, maybe it will help. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. I've been so tired, I even got tired of chewing. Not necessarily a bad thing, just annoying when I am still hungry. I'm really glad I don't have any cardio scheduled for today. There is no way I could do it. I do have strength training scheduled, but it will depend on if the medication wor... Thu, 2 Oct 2008 15:53:23 EST Food Network I love watching the food network channel, but I think I'm going to have to give it up. I have noticed that whenever I watch I get hungry. Last night I was able to fight the temptation, but I don't know if I will always be able to do so. It's not so much that it makes me hungry in general, it is the food it makes me hungry for. You know the bad stuff i.e...chili dogs, pizza, hamburgers, pasta. I know you can make most of this healthy, but it just doesn't taste the same. I have made "healthy" c... Wed, 1 Oct 2008 14:20:16 EST friend coming to visit My best friend, the one with the little girl that is on my sparkpage, is coming to visit. I don't know when exactly but it will definitely be within the next few weeks. I'm excited to see them, but I'm also a little worried. I have a tendency to fall off the exercise wagon whenever they come down. It is just so hard to get it in, especially the cardio (stationary bike). The bike is in my room, and it seems that is where they congregate when they are down. Especially Gia (little girl). She spe... Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:03:00 EST I was right! I was right! The scale was off. Instead of 6lbs. I lost only 3lbs. I feel so much better. I actually believe it now. I guess I should be disappointed, but I'm not. 3lbs is still 3lbs. That stupid monkey is finally quiet also. What a relief. <BR> <BR> Thank you guys for the support. It was really appreciated. Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:27:50 EST Scale again Ok. I admit it. I can't leave well enough alone. The whole 6lbs. loss is still bugging me. I just have a hard time believing it. That being the case, I went out and bought a brand new scale. I just don't trust the old one.This one is suppose to be more accurate. It also keeps track of your weight and any weight loss/gain. <BR> <BR> I know. I'm being a little crazy. That darn monkey is driving me insane! I just keep thinking it can't be true. The scale was faulty. There's no way I lost 6lbs... Sun, 28 Sep 2008 19:04:16 EST My scale has to be lying. I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. It's either that or my scale is lying. I stepped onto the scale this morning, because I was curious. I have gone over my calories several times this week so I wanted to see what kind of damage was done. Imagine my surprise when the scale said I weighed 241.4 (was 247.2 Monday). I couldn't believe it. I got off, reset the thing and got back on. It still said 241.4. I got off again and again and again. Every time I stepped back on it said the same thing... Sat, 27 Sep 2008 22:41:51 EST Feeling good I have been feeling pretty good today. Very up beat and happy. I got my cardio in, the first week I have completed all the cardio I had scheduled. Yea! I admitted to my fears about my weight loss, and have started to examine and try to overcome them. It won't be overnight, but I think I am on the right track. I'm just going to take it day by day. Coming to this site and being able to express what I am feeling helps a lot. I can't imagine my life without spark people. It's amazing that it h... Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:57:54 EST sleep I have always had a problem with insomnia. It can take me hours to fall asleep. My mind is constantly racing. I think of such random things sometimes, that keep me awake for hours. I have tried so many different things to help me fall asleep. I've taken medication, melatonin, and meditation. Nothing seems to work very well or for very long. Sometimes it just takes me being so exhausted that I can't keep my eyes open anymore. That is what happened to me last night. I laid in bed for hours try... Fri, 26 Sep 2008 00:30:12 EST Munchies Last night (about 2:30 am) I had a bad case of the munchies. I thought about just drinking water, but I realized if I do that I will be back up in an hour or so to go to the bathroom (probably still hungry too). So instead I ate a yogurt and I still wasn't full. So I ate some beef jerky (98% fat free). After the jerky I was finally full. I don't feel bad though, because the food I ate wasn't bad for me. My only concern is that I get hungry a lot at night. Usually between 2:30 and 3:00 am. It ... Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:39:02 EST exercise I did my strength training today. It wasn't so bad. I'm not hurting yet, but I think it is just a matter of time. Saturday it wasn't until I went to bed that I noticed the pain. Hopefully it won't be as bad. I'm really glad that spark people has the demos for strength training. I would be lost without them. I haven't tried the ones that make you get on the floor yet. I'm too afraid that once I get on the floor I won't be able to get back up. :) Maybe in a couple of weeks I will attempt it, bu... Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:00:38 EST Note to self Note to self, eat something before doing any kind of exercise. I did my cardio today, but I didn't eat anything before hand. Normally I will have a yogurt about 30mins before I start to exercise. Today I didn't. About half way through my first stage, I started getting nauseous. I actually had to stop and get a yogurt/water and then I waited about an hour to continue. I finally finished, but I have been feeling off ever since. Will remember to eat next time, that's for sure. Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:11:44 EST