PATTYR81's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=PATTYR81 PATTYR81's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Unstuck - Backstory and Forging Ahead! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5667375 I ran out of time yesterday and didn't get to blog WHY my tax experience this year was such a hurdle. It's been WAYYYYYY bigger and more complicated than just the run of the mill IRS dread. <BR> <BR> Getting my taxes out of my life released a HUGE boulder <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> The weight of that task looming above me had me just like a deer in the headlights <em>40</em> Plus when I FINALLY made it to the tax place appt., there was a guy waiting that SOOOOO reminded me of my dad. Ev... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 12:23:09 EST Finally Unstuck! Taxes Done! YAY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5666687 I don't know many people that think doing their taxes is fun. <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> I certainly don't. For me, it's right up there with my annual & semi annual dr & dentist appts! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I go to a professional tax prep company. For 20 years, we sent our taxes to a CPA friend. Then he retired. So stubborn me decided I could do it myself. <em>58</em> Ya I did get it done using a the same professional company online tool--- took MONTHS, stress, frustration and yes,... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 16:26:14 EST 'Blog-Worthy' Writing? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664169 I've noticed that I've felt my only 'blog-worthy' writing is when I'm feeling upbeat and positive. Yes, writing upbeat blogs is a good thing. <em>224</em> I guess it's due to my upbringing where it was expected to be positive, optimistic and not dwell (or most times even think about or consider) on any 'bad' stuff. <BR> <BR> But what do I do when I'm feeling 'less than upbeat'??? I read blogs of people writing about their struggles and relate. <em>40</em> And most times, offer encourag... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 10:01:57 EST Stumbled But Not Down For The Count! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5652110 Today I'm off on another trip to see dd#2 play college softball. I'm flying out on the early plane. Missed her game on ESPN yesterday <em>18</em> DRAT! dd#1 is also flying in to meet us and we'll have a big girl's weekend <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I'm SO EXCITED, yet overwhelmed. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I've got TONS of work to do both for my job and at home. I always like to get everything 'tidy' before I go away. Not gonna happen this time. <em>2</em> <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> ... Thu, 20 Mar 2014 06:23:08 EST My Caffeine Paradox http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5650631 It's no secret that I LOVE coffee!!! HOT skinny mochas and vanilla lattes make my mouth Happy, Happy, HAPPY! ! <em>106</em> <em>106</em> <em>106</em> <BR> <BR> My issue here is figuring out the 'right' amount of caffeine to include in my life these days. To some people, it may seem like such a small and trivial item in the grand scheme of things, but to me, it's KEY to getting and staying in a 'stable' place mentally. When I'm in that happy spot, my physical struggles lessen. <e... Tue, 18 Mar 2014 09:51:58 EST Just Get Started! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5649850 I'm still struggling with eating and weight gain. <em>29</em> <BR> <BR> Saturday was 'good' day, eating to plan, shopped and got 2 pairs of denim capri pants at Walmart (Lee Rider Slender Fit size 12) They fit PERFECTLY. I'm still trying to get my head around 'Slender Fit'??? ME????! <em>40</em> It's probably all clever marketing :) <BR> My mind still thinks 'Chubby' and my hand always starts at the 2x rack even tho I wear a medium now. <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Sat nite went to dd#... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 11:00:53 EST Mouth Wants vs. Brain Logic = YIKES! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646817 My mind is a peculiar thing sometimes. Ok, well, most times <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> In the food/drink/activity arena, it attempts to apply the same logic to different situations and get the same result. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Or more often, it distorts said logic to fit the wants of my mouth and emotional brain. <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> I am struggling with a 6-8 lb weight gain that is threatening to keep trending up. <BR> <BR> For months I was hovering between 184 and 187. When I... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 09:29:33 EST Creeping Weight Gain Finally Got My Attention! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5645272 About a month ago, my weight was at an all time low of 184. That's 112 lbs from my hw of 296 <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> I was feeling pretty good about my routines and actually had fleeting thoughts (worries?) of becoming a bit anexoric & actually losing too much weight. Many days I HAD to MAKE myself eat. Weird, right?? <BR> <BR> So how did I end up 8 lbs heavier??? Connecting the dots, I realized a few things were going on at the same time that wore on my emotional state. <em>39</em> ... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 10:53:47 EST Light Bulb Moment! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5644561 After I whined in my last blog, I was kinda drifing around not really doing much with my mind pretty much fogged over. <em>527</em> <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> As I read some SP blogs, it came to me that my worst binging, downward behavioral spirals occur after something happens with my late dad's affairs. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I haven't really cried- I seem to take my sadness out by eating. <em>4</em> 54 years of habits are HARD to break! <BR> <BR> Last Friday, I got a huge packe... Mon, 10 Mar 2014 14:29:35 EST Venting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5644485 Woke up sluggish, tired and scale is up 8 lbs from my lowest weight since I started traveling! <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> Not sleeping well, weird dreams with my dad, mom and aunt in them. They are now all in heaven, so I like seeing them, but I keep waking up in the nite and then think about the dreams. Is this what grief is???? <BR> <BR> Day time, I'm tired, so I drink coffee to clear the cobwebs. Also craving (and eating!) carbs and sweets! REALLY???! <BR> <BR> The last time I made time ... Mon, 10 Mar 2014 13:13:01 EST Off on Another Weekend Adventure http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5635801 I'm heading out this a.m. on 2 hr drive to airport- flying to visit dd#2 in New Mexico for softball tournament. It's POURING and STORMING! YIKES! It's 3 am and I'm trying to wake up so I can drive safely. The things we do for our kids! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> OK, I'm not gonna lie, I'm also doing it for me. I REALLY miss my chicks away in college! If my visits help them to feel secure and grounded so they can focus on school and their college experience, then I'm THERE. <BR> <BR> My mantr... Fri, 28 Feb 2014 07:07:36 EST A 'Feeling Adventure' Weekend! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5635064 Reading SP blogs and posts helps crystalize all those thoughts and feelings swirling around in my brain. <em>223</em> <BR> <BR> I just got back from a 5 day weekend in Palm Springs. Celebrated our 25th anniversary and watched dd#2 play in big college softball tournament. <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Rented a 2014 Azara car for the trip. Splurged on 4 star hotel, had a few nice restaurant meals, 80 degree weather... Ahhhh. Bliss. Except that I binged most of the weekend <em>29</em> <BR>... Thu, 27 Feb 2014 08:55:42 EST Valentine's Day Feast! (pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5623996 27 yrs ago, DH & I celebrated our 1st Valentine's Day with him cooking me steak and lobster. (Remember the tanks of live lobsters at Safeway???) <BR> <BR> This year, I'm cooking HIM steak and lobster! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/1/l813248446.jpg"> <BR> <BR> At least I'm PLANNING on cooking, but knowing the fisherman/hunter in him, he'll take over the bbq and cooking pot! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I'll be quite content to eat his heavenly creations and clean... Fri, 14 Feb 2014 13:11:21 EST Carb Fest Week! :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5623867 For me, I do best when I concentrate in small time increments. Usually days, sometimes hours. Also food routine helps me. I eat my 'usual' meal and then can move on. New foods tend to trigger me back to eating big. <BR> <BR> My weakness is carbs - seeded bread and all crackers. I just have to keep them out of my house or I'll eat them until I want to throw up. <em>18</em> Last weekend I made the mistake of giving in to my dd#3's grocery shopping. This week, I scarfed seeded, buttered toas... Fri, 14 Feb 2014 10:50:16 EST Asthma DOESN'T Go Away with Weight Loss????! WTF!? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5615779 What The Franklin (my def of 'WTF') <em>334</em> is up with THAT?! <BR> <BR> Since I began my WLS journey thru gastric bypass surgery in Dec 2011, I've lost 112 lbs. <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I'm very grateful about wearing smaller sizes, being able to move more, looking better, feeling better. MOST of all, I'm proudest of being healthier and getting off most of my co-morbidity meds: blood pressure, high cholesterol, GERD and I thought, asthma. <BR> <BR> After watching ... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 10:21:08 EST Pizza Hangover Part 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5610024 Yesterday's pizza hangover continued all day <em>2</em> <BR> <BR> Another lesson learned is to LEAVE leftover pizza at the restaurant!!! I picked at it all day- only eating the cheese and giving the doggies the bread part, but STILL! <em>234</em> Plus I caved in to cravings and finished the last few graham crackers with butter. Yikes!!! Luckily, I didn't get sick, but waaaayyyy tooo close! <BR> <BR> The gray, gloomy weather didn't help, and I felt draggy all day. <BR> <BR> Some posit... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 09:37:15 EST Pizza Hangover! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5609115 Last nite we went to dd#3 softball fundraiser at the local pizza joint. <BR> <BR> I haven't had pizza in MONTHS, so I prepared well for the 'dangerous adventure' by eating well early in the day and having a protein drink before we went so I wouldn't be STARVING. <BR> <BR> Those strategies worked ok in that I didn't eat pizza until tummy complained. I planned on one small piece and ended up eating 2 small slices, most of a piece of cheese bread and some bites of chicken wings. <BR> <BR> H... Wed, 29 Jan 2014 11:30:59 EST Random Shopping Delight! (Pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5604179 Wednesday nite we had a power outage. Somebody hit a pole. Nobody was hurt, but half our town went dark for hours. <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Went outside and looked at stars <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Anyway, woke up to computer modem failure. Dead, dead, DEAD!!! <em>234</em> <BR> <BR> So at o'dark hundred, I texted my boss and co-worker to let them know I wasn't AWOL. <BR> <BR> I actually had to read a BOOK as I sipped my HOT, skinny mocha and woke up <em>106</em> <em>149</em> ... Fri, 24 Jan 2014 09:14:06 EST An OK Something is Better Than a Perfect Nothing! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5601047 This thought came to me as I'm sipping my HOT, skinny mocha <em>106</em> , reading SP blogs and wondering what I have to contribute today. <BR> <BR> For the longest time, I just thought 'Nope. Got Nothing.' <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Sigh. some days are like that. I'm a sponge rather than a rainbow <em>437</em> Lately, I'm almost all sponge. <BR> <BR> Then <em>54</em> <BR> <BR> DD#2 went back to college last week. As she was packing, she handed me a pair of jeans that didn'... Tue, 21 Jan 2014 09:33:50 EST Do ONE Thing! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5599850 I am a FABULOUS planner! <em>387</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> My daily to-do lists are AWESOME in their scope and length! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> SOOOOOOO many things that NEEED doing RIGHT NOW! <em>206</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> This weekend as I was getting over a nasty cold (that DH STILL is hacking around with), I looked at my 100% messy house wondering WHERE in the heck to start when I heard my Dear Aunt's voice in my head: 'Soooooo What! Just do ONE thing.' <BR> <BR> I decided each... Mon, 20 Jan 2014 09:47:35 EST Gluten Free is Actually Pretty Good!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5592195 DD#1 is gluten-sensitive and has adopted a gluten free diet. I was a bit skeptical hearing about all the stuff she was doing, but when she came home for Christmas, she looked <em>345</em> <BR> <BR> Clear, bright eyes, beautiful skin and hair - and best of all: she got her ENERGY back!! <em>530</em> <BR> <BR> So for the past few weeks, I've been learning how to shop, cook and eat gluten free. Not that much different for me as I forgo carbs as best I can and focus on protein. I was s... Mon, 13 Jan 2014 10:44:23 EST Feelings Causing New (to me) Behaviors These Days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5588136 After being on vaca for the past 19 days, I've had a hard time getting going and getting back into my work routine every day this week. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> This difficulty has triggered my guilt and negative self talk mode ('You r soooo lazy!! Get Going!! What's WRONG with you???? You SHOULD have remembered/know this stuff!!!) <BR> <BR> I guess I expected myself to jump back into work at full throttle and having to catch up on what's been happening, getting whack-a-mole work items don... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 13:27:22 EST I Need a Size 10 Foot Applied to a Strategic Place :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5585624 After 19 vaca days, I went back to work yesterday. <em>224</em> AND <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> I can't seem to get motivated for work. <BR> <BR> On vaca it was common for me to get up at 4 a.m. with DH and start my day. Yesterday and today I had to PRY myself out of bed at 7:15 to take DD#3 to school. Just wanted to be cozy in bed admiring my new paint job and cocooning with DD#1, both doggies and Kitty. I call it our 'Pack Bonding Moment'. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> When I finally get... Tue, 7 Jan 2014 12:40:01 EST My New Year Bedroom Makeover (pics) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5584460 After going thru a horrible and draining past 6 months and being on vaca for the past 19 days, my energy is re-charged for the New Year. <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Feeling the urgency of going back to work routine today, this weekend was a flurry of home improvement activities for me. <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Sat I re-caulked my shower. Doesn't SOUND exciting, but to me, I LOVE a white shower. Getting rid of the impossible to scrub/bleach off black speckled silicone and replacing it with ... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 14:29:55 EST My Non-Meat Protein Staples http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5584384 I posted this on a thread and thougt I'd copy here so I wouldn't have to re-create my list. <BR> <BR> My non-meat protein staples are: <BR> <BR> Premier Protein rtd protein drink, chocolate 30 g protein, 160 cal (Costco) <BR> Dannon lite & fit Greek yogurt 12g protein, 80 cal <BR> NF cottage cheese 13g protein, 80 cal <BR> Jarlsberg Lite reduced fat swiss cheese 7g protein, 50 cal <BR> Cheese sticks - ones that are 6-7 g protein & 50-80 cal per stick <BR> NF refried beans 6 g protein, 10... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 13:34:31 EST Getting My Head Around the 2014 Me (pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5580619 Here I am starting 2014: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/5/l754001985.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I've lost 110 lbs, am 5' 8 1/2" at 186 lbs, wear size 12 jeans and med/small tops. <BR> <BR> Wow. Not that long ago I was 296 lbs, wore skin tight 24W jeans and 3x tops. <BR> <BR> Right now the only words I have are that I'm truly thankful I've come this far. I haven't figured out my path yet for 2014, but for right now, That's Ok. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> <em>2... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 11:01:22 EST Holiday Revamping (Kitty Pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5576742 This year, celebrating Christmas was 'different'. 'Better' in some ways and 'worse' in others. <BR> <BR> Sad changes: My favorite Christmas-loving aunt passed 11/13 last year, Dad passed 11/20 this year & we had to put 5 month Tinker Kitty down 12/20 after an agonizing nite and day of constant seizures <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> Happy/Sad Changes: All my dd chicks are home sans boyfriends. Now I DO like/love their choices, but it was nice having just the 5 of us back in the nest. Probably f... Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:33:03 EST Things That Make Me Smile in Tough Times - Cute Kitty Pic http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5568688 I'm valiantly trying to positively participate in Christmas festivities this year. <BR> <BR> It's tough, tough, TOUGH! Losing my dad Nov 20 and marking the 1 yr date of my dear aunt's passing Nov 13 and now Kitty having a bout of seizures last nite is REALLY smacking me down. <em>24</em> Thought we'd have to put him down this a.m., but he seems better and is out for the count sleeping all wrapped around in warm towels. We'll see how today goes.... <BR> <BR> Spent most of yesterday in be... Fri, 20 Dec 2013 12:31:57 EST Just Kinda Watching These Days~ http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5566412 Usually I am the driving force for holiday celebrations. Early in our marriage (25 yrs in Feb!!), dh & I agreed to host holiday events at our house and end the dilemma and drama of whose house we were going to visit when. <BR> <BR> That meant planning, cleaning, shopping, cleaning, cooking, cleaning, decorating, cleaning. You get the picture <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> After my GB surgery in Oct 2012, I was still in full holiday mode. My Worst. Dumping. Episode. Ever. on Thanksgiving got my ... Tue, 17 Dec 2013 10:27:09 EST Good Day- YAY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5558368 I guess I should be more specific about which carbs are my sore point because I DO eat SOME carbs. For me, carbs in general are not a black or white choice- it's just those pesky snacky things and some that to others are perfectly healthy choices, but when I eat them, I GORGE and BINGE <em>18</em> . THOSE are the carbs I'm cutting out of my life. <BR> <BR> I'm happy to report that yesterday I managed to go carb-free (as I define for myself above). <em>224</em> <em>224</em> <em>224<... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 12:12:26 EST Going Carb-less: Trying Again Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5557534 Altho my natural tendency is to beat myself up for not being perfect, I've decided to focus on what I DID achieve and positively build upon that teeny-tiny success. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I made it to lunch carb-less <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Self-assessing what happened, I figured out my downfall started with my beef-soup that I made for dinner the day before. <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> Now normally my soups are almost exclusively protein and beans and green veggies. This beef soup started... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 10:53:53 EST Those Pesky, Sneaky Carbs! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5556722 I've learned that there are some 'healthy' foods that just are NOT healthy for me <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> I eat them compulsively until they are gone or until I throw up. Sometimes both. <em>2</em> <BR> <BR> Wheat Thins, Cheez its (OK not so healthy here) and other cracker, chip, popcorn snacky type foods. Pasta is especially tempting. <BR> <BR> Just discovered that sf Cool Whip falls in this category for me. <BR> <BR> Bagels are on their way to this list. Last nite after beef soup di... Wed, 4 Dec 2013 10:53:09 EST In a Shaky Pocket of Calm http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5555845 The worst of stressful stuff is over. Altho going thru was hellacious, I'm thankful and grateful to report that I'm in a shaky pocket of calm trying to get back into routine life. Funny how things that totally rock my world don't affect what's going on in the 'outside world' in the slightest. <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> I'm blessed to report: <BR> Dad is in heaven with my mom. Kitty is 95 % back to normal (still working on getting back his purr and face rubbing) Outside house paint job shoul... Tue, 3 Dec 2013 10:39:11 EST I've Got My Feet Under Me Again - YAY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5549782 I heard that line (paraphrased) in the movie 'BABE' (I think) where the daddy dog says to the mama dog that she can help the baby pig 'only until he gets his feet under him'. (Let me know if I've got the wrong movie <em>20</em> ) <BR> <BR> Anyway, I've been off work last week and have vacation this week so that pressure is off. I've been allowing myself downtime when I'm tired (which is ALOT these days) and am scheduling the hard, but necessary tasks usually one per day. Then I do some 'fu... Mon, 25 Nov 2013 09:31:33 EST And Yet More @#$$% http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5548310 Sometimes we do everything we can do and things still go south. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> Kitty was steadily improving and getting back to his 'normal' self when I woke up at 4 a.m. to bumping noises. He was panicking, trying to cram himself into a corner in the hallway. I'm sure he didn't feel well and was trying to get to me. <BR> <BR> <BR> He's been having brief seizures at first every hour and now every 30 or 20 min. <em>24</em> I've been holding and petting him to comfort him. Now... Sat, 23 Nov 2013 09:44:56 EST Hanging In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5547766 I lost my father 2 days ago. Granted he was ~89 yrs old & had a good life, but he wasn't ready to go and loss HURTS! <BR> <BR> I'm focusing on taking care to eat as best I can and get protein in. Am I perfect? No! I'm drinking WAY TOO MUCH HOT decaf sf coffee drinks. Comforting, but get in the way of eating GOOD food. <BR> <BR> Fri, 22 Nov 2013 13:30:01 EST Broke into the 180's!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5546041 Today my bleary eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing: Ms Stubborn Standby Scale told me my weight is 189!!!! That's a whopping 107 lbs GONE GONE GONE! <BR> <BR> <em>193</em> <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> And she is a VERY tough and honest critic. <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> What's going on: Good and Not So Good Stuff. <BR> <BR> Dad had stroke and came home Sat on hospice. Prob will not be a long journey here. <BR> <BR> To deal with the situation, I've been focusing on eating health... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 10:49:12 EST Anxiety & Anticipation are Worse than Just Doing It! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5541842 I was so wound up yesterday over my anticipated 'trials', that I was virtually paralyzed. I couldn't make myself do ANYTHING. (Except surf SP all day <em>28</em> ) <BR> <BR> Big Bro never replied to my text, so I didn't do anything or go anywhere for the dad-agenda. (except fret and worry <em>39</em> ) But if I DID do what he 'hinted' at, I couldn;t do my absolutely necessary to-do's and face the wrath/disapproval of dd & dh with the resulting guilt. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Kitty ca... Fri, 15 Nov 2013 10:38:56 EST Facing Trials Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5541014 Today will be a day of trials for me. <em>230</em> <BR> <BR> Big Bro texted me asking about where he could find my dad's clothes to take to rehab hosp. <BR> <BR> Now my nephews moved his stuff to the new 500 sq ft apt, so it's not like it's hard to find stuff. Most of his clothes are hung in closet. They didn;t unpack the less than 10 boxes :(, just put them in closet, so there 'could' be a bit of a treasure hunt factor. <BR> <BR> SOMEONE has to unpack them and set up the apt. <em>40... Thu, 14 Nov 2013 10:53:51 EST Kitty Cat Update #2 TMI Alert http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5539093 Kitty is better!!! <em>224</em> <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Symptoms point to overdose of worming med. At first, Dr. skeptical, but then decided that's what happened. I read FDA studies & he had EVERY single symptom described in cats receiving 10x the normal dose. Good news: studies reported that the symptoms are 'self limiting', meaning they go away on their own and there was no residual brain damage. <BR> <BR> As symptoms began to go away, Dr. started internal investigation. I'm sure t... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 10:18:13 EST Brief Kitty Cat Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5538158 Kitty spent weekend at vet. Still having same symptoms altho lessening. <BR> <BR> DD#1 vet student at K State did research and symptoms point to overdosing wormer med. Clinical studies of med at high dose mirror my poor kitty's experience. <BR> <BR> We think there was prob an error in tracking whether he got the med, so prob got it 2 or more times.Of course the dr won't admit that. It's a topical, so there wasn't much they could do except give iv to flush out of system, sedate him with v... Mon, 11 Nov 2013 10:42:52 EST Blogging at 4 a.m.!???! Kitty Cat Drama Added to the Mix! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5536362 I added another iron into my bonfire these days. Kitty is ~4 months old. I noticed he was transitioning from baby kitty behaviors to more grown up cat-like behaviors. Then got the card in the mail. Yep. Time to get him neutered. <em>239</em> <BR> <BR> Surgery Thurs went well and he woke up Fri a happy, playful kitty. As the day wore on, he was pretty needy (my shadow and actually came downstairs by himself!) Abt 5, I could tell he was wearing himself out and needed to rest, so I held ... Sat, 9 Nov 2013 07:47:26 EST Fighting Getting Sucked Back Into Drama http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5534962 As I've blogged about, last month my head finally popped off re dad drama and I 'divorced' myself from being point-person and gave my Big Bro his chance to do what he 'should' have been doing all along. <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> I've definitely been happier, less stressed, more energetic and optimistic since then <em>224</em> My greatest fear has been and continues to be that I'll get sucked back into the drama and back into the dreaded pack mule role. <BR> <BR> Last Sunday, Big Bro & so... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 13:50:11 EST It's a Head Down Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5533824 Today will be a head-down work day for me. I need to power thru a bunch of work items and clear my plate a little. I like a back-log, but with all my life drama going on, I haven't been much for work and it's grown to a back-mountain! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Plus yesterday I was so excited abt the painting prep work starting and worried about not-done plant chopping, I got up at 5 and chop, chop, chopped away for 2 hours. By then I was in my groove and just didn't want to sit at my comput... Wed, 6 Nov 2013 10:57:42 EST Status Reports and Ponderings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5532788 Carbo binge recovery report: symptoms are getting better, but poundage is still up. I know it's water and other 'stuff' cuz I can see it on my hip line. What's going in is definitely NOT coming out!... <em>40</em> I know it will resolve as long as I stay on my eating/water routine. <BR> <BR> Stress report: Moved dad's stuff to new asst'd living. He's in hosp for physical rehab, so I only had to deal with big bro and his 2 oldest sons who are in their early 20's. They were the hired muscle... Tue, 5 Nov 2013 09:55:08 EST Carbo Binge Side Effects :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5531879 It's Day 2 of side effects from my Sat Carbo Loading Binge. <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Getting a bit better, but still sluggish, foggy minded, bloated, 'stopped up', tired, not able to sleep but just want to crawl back into bed and stay there... <em>40</em> <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, I've got a PACK of Yapping Chihuaua to-do items INSISTENTLY nag, nag, nagging!!!! <BR> <BR> <em>234</em> Mon, 4 Nov 2013 11:51:24 EST Rude Reminder! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5530946 Yesterday I rudely reminded myself that I can't be trusted around junky carbs- especially when I'm stressed! <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> Riding high on my successful halloween candy avoidance, I resourcefully planned ahead for dd#3's softball tournament. It was ~1 hr drive and we were going to be there all day and evening. I got out my 'softball bag' and filled it with all my 'normal' foods - almonds - plain and habenero (taste like bbq chips), beef jerky, Jarlsberg lite cheese, protein drink, ... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 12:47:17 EST My 'Haunting' Halloween Success! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5529203 I made it thru Halloween without tasting a SINGLE bit of candy!!! <em>224</em> <em>224</em> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> How did I do this monumental accomplishment????? <BR> <BR> <BR> I HAUNTED SP website ALL day and evening! <em>423</em> <BR> <BR> THANKS SP friends! Your posts, comments, blogs and pics keep me on track!!! <BR> <BR> <em>223</em> <em>252</em> Fri, 1 Nov 2013 11:36:34 EST Random Thoughts about Goals - Fear of Failure or Just Happy to Be Progressing? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5526408 A few weeks ago I ran into the woman who inspired me to finally make the decision to pursue WLS. She's lost well over 100 lbs, looks great and is REALLY into Zumba. I've texted her when I've achieved what I considered significant milestones (surgery date, 50 lb loss, 100 lb loss, etc.) I thank her for her inspiration and support. <BR> <BR> What's been rattling around in my brain and poking me since I last saw her was her reply to my news that I hit 100 lbs down. She asked if I was 'at goal... Tue, 29 Oct 2013 10:42:55 EST Passing on My Plus Size Good Stuff! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5525566 For some reason, I've held on to a BUNCH of my 2x jackets, pants, shirts, etc. I really liked each piece and chose it carefully, so it's hard to let them go even tho I now wear size 12 jeans and M /Ltops & jackets. <BR> <BR> As I was driving back from our daily school drop off, I saw that people had stuff piled in their driveways for donation pick up. The donation card is lime green, which IMMEDIATELY gets my attention <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Anyway, since we re-did the floor in the clos... Mon, 28 Oct 2013 13:12:50 EST