PATTYR81's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=PATTYR81 PATTYR81's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ A Better 'Back To Basics' Article http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5899323 I found this and need to ponder... IMO it's better than 'Rules of the Pouch'. Comments welcome! <BR> <BR> http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/backont<BR>racktogether/blog/2009/01/07/back-on-t<BR>rack-together---back-to-the-basics/ Wed, 25 Mar 2015 09:53:03 EST New Friend Zip Helping Me Slog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5892215 DH & DD#1 came home with a 'prize' for me. I have a new walking friend! Fitbit Zip! She is AWESOME!!! She rides on my bra strap, counts steps and mileage correctly (as far as I can tell), reports calories burned and rewards me with a smiley face that gets increasingly happier the farther I walk! No nagging, just positive reinforcement! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I did not ask and do NOT want to know her cost! That would take some of the joy out of it for me. <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> They g... Fri, 13 Mar 2015 10:50:51 EST Truckload Thursday & Freaky Friday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5883648 Something is up with me. Yes, my scale frenemy too!!! <em>40</em> <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> Truckload Eating!!! Yesterday I just wanted to eat all day! While I foods I ate were all healthy and not junk, the quanty and frequency were high. I was just HANGRY. <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> I think it was the caffeine coffee I've been drinking the past few days (1-2 c per day caff, the rest de-caf). I also tried a different sf syrup in my coffee. Oh and I also ate oatmeal for breakfast for the firs... Fri, 27 Feb 2015 09:43:08 EST Pedometer Adventures http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5883010 Still figuring out how to live with new pedometer... <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> I lost it after half a day - fell off my jeans getting out of the Mustang...I was SOOOO bummed! Was ready to jet back to Walmart and get another one when I found it on the lawn by the driveway <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> OK, so clipping to my jeans is not for my lifestyle. On to Alternate Plan B. <BR> <BR> Discovered that my Lee Riders have a mini pocket on the right hip above the regular pocket. <BR> <BR> (An... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 09:22:22 EST Simple is Good; Simple and Cheap is AWESOME!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5881955 I finally MADE myself get to Walmart to buy a pedometer <em>313</em> DD#1 & I immediately took the three golden doggies on a walk... put 1907 steps on that baby! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Altho I work for a hi tech Fortune 100 company, in my personal life, I am decidedly low tech <em>221</em> <BR> <BR> I just don't have the interest or patience for hi tech gadgets I have to figure out. My style is plug and play. So I passed up all the glorious High dollar models with all the bells... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 16:34:23 EST Brain Flash & Head Slap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879302 I've been very disgruntled about my weight hovering around 197, but have to admit that I really haven't been willing to do all the things I was doing before when I was on the losing track <em>2</em> <BR> <BR> As I was sipping my HOT skinny mocha, I had a brain flash <em>530</em> <BR> <BR> I am 'only' 20 pounds from my goal weight!!!! <BR> <BR> Coming from almost 300 lbs, that number suddenly isn't quite so daunting. <em>521</em> <BR> <BR> I've also been whining about not gettin... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 10:14:09 EST The Beauty of Surfing SP http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5873771 Altho I read SP posts every day, I've gotten to the point where I only sometimes comment and my blogging has really fallen by the wayside. I think it's my perfectionist nature. In the reading moment, I can't think of anything really profound or 'worthy' to say, so I stay in my brain and keep silent. <BR> <BR> These days, often I can only manage to comment in emoticon. The great thing about my persevering in daily SP surfing is that occasionally, my comments on a thread lead to something I... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 10:04:45 EST Yesterday's Slog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5865089 Something was on my nerves yesterday <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Couldn't keep my sneaky hand out of the chip bag on DD#1's lap <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> Ate them until tummy was sick <em>527</em> Yucky day and evening, but this a.m. is better! <em>106</em> <BR> <BR> Woke up at 3 and couldn't go back to sleep... <em>24</em> looking forward to an early nap <em>102</em> and hope to take even a tiny walk <em>311</em> Thu, 29 Jan 2015 09:28:28 EST Grumpies Fading Slowwwwlllly....YAY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5858735 Woke up grumpy today <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> After reading SP posts and sipping HOT skinny mocha <em>106</em> am feeling more back to my cheerful, optimistic self <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Big Bro is not as sick as I feared... having chemo & can't get out of bed on his own yet, but coherent and says this experience has made him 're-evaluate things'. From the context of our convo, it's specifically about his behaviors & relationships in his life. His focus was all about $$$ & what peopl... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 12:22:48 EST Going Out and About! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5855809 Since I work from home, most of my outings are grocery shopping, bank and taxi driving DD#3 to her various activities. Occasionally on a Sunday I'll take an eye candy trip to Home Goods or Ross or Marshall's (on lucky days, all three!) <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> I've got 2 outings planned for this weekend...MY plans, not just accompanying DH, DD#1 on THEIR plans! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Today I'm going to a reunion lunch with co-workers from a past job. Same company, but the subsidary was... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 13:13:41 EST Only One? Only One and Only One-YA! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5854914 Got the news my older brother has lymphoma <em>40</em> Will find out details this weekend. <BR> <BR> I guess I'm staying in 'left brain mode', cuz I only had ONE tear all day <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> My appetite is gone <em>40</em> <em>40</em> <em>40</em> , but I WAS tempted by DD#1's gluten free cookies she left on the counter.... ate only ONE. <BR> <BR> Then at 10:30 pm, got out of bed and ate ONE slice of pizza she & BF ordered for dinner as I didn't cook. <BR> <BR> This i... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 09:16:04 EST Still Climbing Out of a Hole http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5852638 Friday, DD#2 went back to college out of state <em>46</em> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Was a tough, tough day emotionally. <em>40</em> <em>24</em> made super-chaotic by cleaning ladies working, last minute laundry, packing, searching and ultimately going to dr office & replacing lost cd with MRI results.... forgot my counseling appt.... ARGH!!!! Did get her to airport on time tho barely....SW lost her suitcase sigh....then found it 2 days later. Gave her a $50 voucher, nice but didn'... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 11:44:45 EST Ahhhh... Getting Back to 'Daily Life'! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5844800 I haven't blogged for a while because I get bogged down in how to fill in all the gaps of stuff that happened between postings. <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> So today I had a brain flash that I would take the Fly Lady approach and just start HERE. <em>249</em> I'm sure that my stream of consciousness writing will eventually cover all the 'adventures' (read 'challenges') I've been going thru the past months. <BR> <BR> Currently living with DH & me: Our 3 DD's, 3 golden retrievers (11 yr old... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 13:48:15 EST So Far, So Good (pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5834580 Yesterday I managed to follow most of my success strategies. <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> It's been raining (YAY bye bye drought!), so my activity has been limited to grocery shopping and extra trips up and down stairs doing laundry. Better than nothing as my couch keeps calling to me to come sit by the fire.... <BR> <BR> Managed to stay away from sugar and sugary carbs... <em>198</em> and weight dropped significantly in one day! <em>193</em> Dang water weight, but still like lower numb... Wed, 17 Dec 2014 19:09:13 EST Note To Self: Remember Your Daily Success Strategies! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5833810 I've been struggling since Halloween. On the Gastric Bypass Team page I found a thread about "Holiday Strategies". Made me realize just how far I've gotten from my DAILY success strategies. So to remind myself: <BR> <BR> +Constantly sip HOT, low/no calorie drinks <BR> <BR> +Make (and eat) weekly staple pot of soup (beans, veg or other broth based) <BR> <BR> +DONT buy crackers/breads/carbs (including candy/cookies, etc.) that I eat until I throw up <BR> <BR> +Control portions by using... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 09:50:41 EST What To Do When My Jeans R Getting Tight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5799771 I'm feeling a bit bloggish today. A first for a long while. So some random thoughts: <BR> <BR> This title came to me and I liked it. Don't know if what follows relates, but it captures one of my concerns this week. <BR> <BR> Also this week I had the first primary care dr physical since 2011. <em>282</em> I've switched to a woman dr ('DO' not 'MD' but don't know what DO stands for) 10/24 is my 2 yr follow up appt with my surgeon. Stressing about not being 184 or less, but trying to convi... Fri, 17 Oct 2014 10:04:55 EST My 2 Year Surgeversary!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5796283 I celebrated my 2 year surgiversary on 10/8 <em>244</em> <em>244</em> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> I'm pondering writing a blog, but meanwhile, I'm still trying to wrap my head around all the changes and 'stuff' I've been thru in the past 2 years.... <em>40</em> <em>20</em> <em>224</em> <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> My lowest weight was 184 (I'm 5' 8 1/2") and wore a loose size 10 and actually zipped up a size 8 jeans!!! <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> During the stress of my dad's fina... Sat, 11 Oct 2014 10:37:46 EST NSVs Galore and it's only 8 a.m.!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5733771 Some bad life drama is going on around me, but I am focusing on my positives. <em>224</em> Enough time to whine and vent blog later! <BR> <BR> Today I've had at least 4 NSVs (non scale victories) and it's only 8 a.m.!!! <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> So it's Monday and I pop awake at 4:45 a.m. thinking DH is gonna be late to work. <em>18</em> He is EXTREMELY punctual about work and commitments. If he isn't 30 min before start time, he considers himself late. Then he is a GRUMPY BEAR the w... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 11:40:28 EST Teeny But Effective Motivation (Pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730516 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2147125759.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Wearing dd#2's college softball work out clothes (and her hand-me-down-team-trainer shoes) for my morning walk! <BR> <BR> Haven't walked in MONTHS!, so am proud today is Day 2. Yesterday, walked lap around park (20 min) and jogged 100 steps. Today same route, but jogged 175 steps!!! <BR> <BR> Makes my MIND feel like a 20 yr old athlete, even tho my body is WAYYYYYY lagging in this department!! <em>334</em> <... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 11:15:30 EST Random Victories - 1H 2014 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726296 At work this is the time of year where we have to self evaluate and write our accomplishments for the 1st half of the year. It is always a tough thing for me to do. <em>100</em> Why? Because I'm NEVER perfect!!! <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> In the spirit of 'continuous improvement', I've decided to try to make it fun by brainstorming all my activities and finding the 'good' in each one. I'm also doing it for my personal accomplishments. It's really HARD not to criticize myself for not doi... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 10:52:14 EST Food Reality http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5720593 It's a blog 2-fer today! <BR> <BR> Wanted to separate my <em>104</em> <em>224</em> stuff from my <em>2</em> <em>29</em> <em>28</em> <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> Yesterday's food plan was going well, but somehow my brain got overconfident and 'forgot' what happens when I overeat and when I eat sugar! <em>230</em> <em>227</em> <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> In the afternoon talking with DH and dd's, I mindlessly shoveled in cashew nuts (haven't been eating nuts for a week or ... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 11:21:42 EST Horse Riding! (pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5720557 <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1392764450.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> REALLY???? <BR> <BR> ME???? <BR> <BR> AFTER 20 YEARS???? <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> At my ~300 lb self, I was always afraid I would hurt the horse. <em>24</em> I wouldn't even ride in horse drawn carriages pulled by draft horses! <BR> <BR> Another NSV (non scale victory) and goal met! <em>104</em> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> <em>252</em> Wed, 18 Jun 2014 10:38:22 EST 5 Day Pouch Test - So What Did I Learn??? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717791 Key Learnings for me: <BR> <BR> - I wasn't starvingly, uncomfortably hungry <BR> <BR> - I didn't have to be 'perfect' on the plan for it to work (I was 90%) It wasn't an 'all or nothing' experience. <BR> <BR> - My pouch still 'works'. I didn't 'break it'. (which I feared) <BR> <BR> - I didn't realize how often I was eating junk carbs and how much at a time I was scarfing <BR> <BR> - Eating 'just one' or 'just one bite' of junk carbs sets me off on that slippery slope to constant grazing... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 11:17:58 EST Victories: Both NSV and Scale - YAY!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5716406 Today is day 4 of my 5 day pouch test. <BR> <BR> I'm happy to report that yesterday my energy was up and I actually got out and walked 30 min! <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Followed the plan for the most part. However, being out & about shopping and softball practice (YAY activity instead of couch potato!) led to ff meals for lunch & dinner <em>230</em> <BR> <BR> 90% of my choices were ok (lunch: 3/4 small cheeseburger patty; dinner: 1/3 small cheeseburger patty). The other 10% was tha... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 10:26:16 EST Shopping!!! (Pic) and Long Lost (Deliberately Hidden) 'Before WLS' pic http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715780 I bought a new bathing suit!!!! AND for the first time since my honeymoon, I'm not embarrassed (ok a little) to be photographed in it! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1890472715.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Was browsing thru my gallery....Yikes! I didn't realize how big I was! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/4/l244950360.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Who else has new pics to share???? <BR> <BR> Happy Day! <BR> <BR> <em>437<... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 12:44:13 EST 5 Day Pouch Test http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715720 Lately I've been struggling with binging, eating more and more junk carbs (often to the point where tummy rebels <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Scale was up 8 lbs from my lowest weight <em>24</em> <em>24</em> <em>24</em> and steadily creeping up, up, up .... <BR> <BR> So I scoured the boards for ideas. Chose to try the 5 day pouch test. <BR> <BR> Below is an excerpt from CLYNNTHOMAS' 3-27-14 blog that gives a nice overview: <BR> <BR> "For those of you not familiar with the 5DPT - it... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 11:34:07 EST Feeling A Bit Slapped Around Today :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5711298 I was feeling pretty good after I wrote about my Yappers - got some of them corralled, handled and out of my life (for the moment) <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Some of them included: <BR> <BR> -Sending graduation card (and check) to my dc's (dear cousin) daughter. <em>242</em> Soooo proud of her!!! <BR> -Sending sympathy cards to dh's stepmother who lost her son and to family of dh's life-long neighbor and mother-figure. <BR> -Paying bills <em>224</em> <BR> -Misc house cleaning tasks <BR>... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 12:08:23 EST Surrounded by Yapping Chihuauas! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708945 It seems like every time I take some time out for 'Me Time', the number of my 'Yapping Chihuauas' (To - Do Items) increases dramatically and their yapping decibel intensity goes up 10-fold. <em>530</em> <BR> <BR> This past week was SOOO action packed, that I didn't know where to turn or which yapper to beat down first. So what did I do??? Several times I opted out and hid from them, hunkered down in my room web-surfing on work and personal sites. Not getting anything meaningful done - ju... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 13:01:36 EST Slug vs. Hamster - Animal Alter-Egos Are Battling.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5705154 Spent the weekend spectating at dd#3 softball tournament. <em>60</em> <em>132</em> (I realize this is a tennis ball icon, but I like the color so I pretend it's a softball! :) <BR> <BR> DD#2 is home from college for the summer <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> DD#1 will be moving home from college in July. She's graduating with her 2nd Bachelors degree and has been accepted into 1 of 2 Master's programs (will hear from the other one in June) Anyway, both schools are excellent and HERE, so whi... Wed, 28 May 2014 11:06:11 EST Non-Eventful Friday - Just The Way I Like It! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5702048 Fridays are a 'mixed bag' of stuff for me. <em>36</em> <BR> <BR> It's the end of the work week and usually a very easy day with a lot of co-workers taking off <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Sometimes, I'm one of them! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> It's also the day my house is TRASHED and laundry PILED UP despite my best daily effort to tame that beast. <em>542</em> <em>530</em> <BR> <BR> Most weeks, it's also 'therapy day' where I and my ever-understanding and patient therapist rip off... Sat, 24 May 2014 10:42:11 EST Slid Down a Smallish Chute http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5701445 Yesterday no ladder climbing - instead hit a chute and started sliding..... <BR> <BR> <BR> I am a numbers person. I like numbers. They give definite information. Definite information puts my mind 'at ease'. <BR> <BR> <em>207</em> <BR> <BR> My trouble is, I tend to go overboard (!) about numbers and measurements sometimes <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> These days I've managed to avoid obsessing about scale numbers. But when I started playing with Tracker, my 'numbers fascination' (comp... Fri, 23 May 2014 11:44:22 EST Toddling Up Those Ladders! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5700653 Sometimes I'm amazed just how much baby steps add up and lead to toddling steps! <em>183</em> <BR> <BR> As I reviewed yesterday in my mind, I got a clear vision of the game 'Chutes and Ladders'. Thankfully, it was a ladder climbing day <em>224</em> No looooong ladders, tho, just those little step ladder size ones. <BR> <BR> After I blogged about what I've been eating, I trolled around SP and landed on the food tracker. Hmmm. Decided to play around with it and enter what I had for... Thu, 22 May 2014 10:06:20 EST Doing Something Different http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5700039 Yesterday went better eating-wise. <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I guess there IS something to the strategy of planning defined snacks and meals rather than grazing, nibbling and relying on my tummy to tell me if it's hungry or not. What A Concept! <em>58</em> <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> Followed my eating plan for the day and went upstairs after dinner instead of hanging around the family room/kitchen area. Was feeling pretty good about the day when dh got home ~ 9 pm. Dang! He wanted me t... Wed, 21 May 2014 13:20:43 EST Better, But Still Stumbling and Bumbling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5699206 Yesterday was a better day food-wise. No junk! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I was SOOOO tired (food hang over?) so I decided to have a quick nap <em>102</em> . 'Quick' extended to 2 hours! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Was good about having my vitamins, calcium and protein drink <em>4</em> <BR> <BR> Soothed myself in the evening sipping HOT decaf, sf tea <em>106</em> <BR> <BR> Fell off the wagon (actually I should say 'into the bag') at 9 pm when I spied dh's beef jerky in the truck. ... Tue, 20 May 2014 12:30:13 EST Grief-work, Binge Eating and Getting Back On Track http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698420 I've been pretty 'silent' on SP for the past few months. Lurking, reading, with occasional comments. No real posts. Why???? I've been actively avoiding thinking about 'stuff' and keeping myself skimming thru life being busy, busy, busy so I don;t HAVE to think. <BR> <BR> I've been doing some heavy-lifting work with my trusty therapist and finally faced the fact that I have to do the work to get thru this 'stuff'. No one is gonna do it and hand me a clean silver platter. My first step i... Mon, 19 May 2014 12:04:34 EST Unstuck - Backstory and Forging Ahead! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5667375 I ran out of time yesterday and didn't get to blog WHY my tax experience this year was such a hurdle. It's been WAYYYYYY bigger and more complicated than just the run of the mill IRS dread. <BR> <BR> Getting my taxes out of my life released a HUGE boulder <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> The weight of that task looming above me had me just like a deer in the headlights <em>40</em> Plus when I FINALLY made it to the tax place appt., there was a guy waiting that SOOOOO reminded me of my dad. Ev... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 12:23:09 EST Finally Unstuck! Taxes Done! YAY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5666687 I don't know many people that think doing their taxes is fun. <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> I certainly don't. For me, it's right up there with my annual & semi annual dr & dentist appts! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I go to a professional tax prep company. For 20 years, we sent our taxes to a CPA friend. Then he retired. So stubborn me decided I could do it myself. <em>58</em> Ya I did get it done using a the same professional company online tool--- took MONTHS, stress, frustration and yes,... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 16:26:14 EST 'Blog-Worthy' Writing? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664169 I've noticed that I've felt my only 'blog-worthy' writing is when I'm feeling upbeat and positive. Yes, writing upbeat blogs is a good thing. <em>224</em> I guess it's due to my upbringing where it was expected to be positive, optimistic and not dwell (or most times even think about or consider) on any 'bad' stuff. <BR> <BR> But what do I do when I'm feeling 'less than upbeat'??? I read blogs of people writing about their struggles and relate. <em>40</em> And most times, offer encourag... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 10:01:57 EST Stumbled But Not Down For The Count! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5652110 Today I'm off on another trip to see dd#2 play college softball. I'm flying out on the early plane. Missed her game on ESPN yesterday <em>18</em> DRAT! dd#1 is also flying in to meet us and we'll have a big girl's weekend <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I'm SO EXCITED, yet overwhelmed. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I've got TONS of work to do both for my job and at home. I always like to get everything 'tidy' before I go away. Not gonna happen this time. <em>2</em> <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> ... Thu, 20 Mar 2014 06:23:08 EST My Caffeine Paradox http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5650631 It's no secret that I LOVE coffee!!! HOT skinny mochas and vanilla lattes make my mouth Happy, Happy, HAPPY! ! <em>106</em> <em>106</em> <em>106</em> <BR> <BR> My issue here is figuring out the 'right' amount of caffeine to include in my life these days. To some people, it may seem like such a small and trivial item in the grand scheme of things, but to me, it's KEY to getting and staying in a 'stable' place mentally. When I'm in that happy spot, my physical struggles lessen. <e... Tue, 18 Mar 2014 09:51:58 EST Just Get Started! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5649850 I'm still struggling with eating and weight gain. <em>29</em> <BR> <BR> Saturday was 'good' day, eating to plan, shopped and got 2 pairs of denim capri pants at Walmart (Lee Rider Slender Fit size 12) They fit PERFECTLY. I'm still trying to get my head around 'Slender Fit'??? ME????! <em>40</em> It's probably all clever marketing :) <BR> My mind still thinks 'Chubby' and my hand always starts at the 2x rack even tho I wear a medium now. <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Sat nite went to dd#... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 11:00:53 EST Mouth Wants vs. Brain Logic = YIKES! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646817 My mind is a peculiar thing sometimes. Ok, well, most times <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> In the food/drink/activity arena, it attempts to apply the same logic to different situations and get the same result. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Or more often, it distorts said logic to fit the wants of my mouth and emotional brain. <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> I am struggling with a 6-8 lb weight gain that is threatening to keep trending up. <BR> <BR> For months I was hovering between 184 and 187. When I... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 09:29:33 EST Creeping Weight Gain Finally Got My Attention! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5645272 About a month ago, my weight was at an all time low of 184. That's 112 lbs from my hw of 296 <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> I was feeling pretty good about my routines and actually had fleeting thoughts (worries?) of becoming a bit anexoric & actually losing too much weight. Many days I HAD to MAKE myself eat. Weird, right?? <BR> <BR> So how did I end up 8 lbs heavier??? Connecting the dots, I realized a few things were going on at the same time that wore on my emotional state. <em>39</em> ... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 10:53:47 EST Light Bulb Moment! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5644561 After I whined in my last blog, I was kinda drifing around not really doing much with my mind pretty much fogged over. <em>527</em> <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> As I read some SP blogs, it came to me that my worst binging, downward behavioral spirals occur after something happens with my late dad's affairs. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I haven't really cried- I seem to take my sadness out by eating. <em>4</em> 54 years of habits are HARD to break! <BR> <BR> Last Friday, I got a huge packe... Mon, 10 Mar 2014 14:29:35 EST Venting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5644485 Woke up sluggish, tired and scale is up 8 lbs from my lowest weight since I started traveling! <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> Not sleeping well, weird dreams with my dad, mom and aunt in them. They are now all in heaven, so I like seeing them, but I keep waking up in the nite and then think about the dreams. Is this what grief is???? <BR> <BR> Day time, I'm tired, so I drink coffee to clear the cobwebs. Also craving (and eating!) carbs and sweets! REALLY???! <BR> <BR> The last time I made time ... Mon, 10 Mar 2014 13:13:01 EST Off on Another Weekend Adventure http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5635801 I'm heading out this a.m. on 2 hr drive to airport- flying to visit dd#2 in New Mexico for softball tournament. It's POURING and STORMING! YIKES! It's 3 am and I'm trying to wake up so I can drive safely. The things we do for our kids! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> OK, I'm not gonna lie, I'm also doing it for me. I REALLY miss my chicks away in college! If my visits help them to feel secure and grounded so they can focus on school and their college experience, then I'm THERE. <BR> <BR> My mantr... Fri, 28 Feb 2014 07:07:36 EST A 'Feeling Adventure' Weekend! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5635064 Reading SP blogs and posts helps crystalize all those thoughts and feelings swirling around in my brain. <em>223</em> <BR> <BR> I just got back from a 5 day weekend in Palm Springs. Celebrated our 25th anniversary and watched dd#2 play in big college softball tournament. <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Rented a 2014 Azara car for the trip. Splurged on 4 star hotel, had a few nice restaurant meals, 80 degree weather... Ahhhh. Bliss. Except that I binged most of the weekend <em>29</em> <BR>... Thu, 27 Feb 2014 08:55:42 EST Valentine's Day Feast! (pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5623996 27 yrs ago, DH & I celebrated our 1st Valentine's Day with him cooking me steak and lobster. (Remember the tanks of live lobsters at Safeway???) <BR> <BR> This year, I'm cooking HIM steak and lobster! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/1/l813248446.jpg"> <BR> <BR> At least I'm PLANNING on cooking, but knowing the fisherman/hunter in him, he'll take over the bbq and cooking pot! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I'll be quite content to eat his heavenly creations and clean... Fri, 14 Feb 2014 13:11:21 EST Carb Fest Week! :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5623867 For me, I do best when I concentrate in small time increments. Usually days, sometimes hours. Also food routine helps me. I eat my 'usual' meal and then can move on. New foods tend to trigger me back to eating big. <BR> <BR> My weakness is carbs - seeded bread and all crackers. I just have to keep them out of my house or I'll eat them until I want to throw up. <em>18</em> Last weekend I made the mistake of giving in to my dd#3's grocery shopping. This week, I scarfed seeded, buttered toas... Fri, 14 Feb 2014 10:50:16 EST Asthma DOESN'T Go Away with Weight Loss????! WTF!? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5615779 What The Franklin (my def of 'WTF') <em>334</em> is up with THAT?! <BR> <BR> Since I began my WLS journey thru gastric bypass surgery in Dec 2011, I've lost 112 lbs. <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> I'm very grateful about wearing smaller sizes, being able to move more, looking better, feeling better. MOST of all, I'm proudest of being healthier and getting off most of my co-morbidity meds: blood pressure, high cholesterol, GERD and I thought, asthma. <BR> <BR> After watching ... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 10:21:08 EST