ONTHEWAYDOWN28's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=ONTHEWAYDOWN28 ONTHEWAYDOWN28's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Quietly Returning to Focus http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5199737 I have been out of focus for a while, 2012 was a rough year, and I used it as an excuse, yet again to give up. I'm done whining about it, and now I'm back to focus on getting healthy. <BR> <BR> I'm doing pretty well, and have been doing pretty well since before New Year with making healthy choices and controlling portion sizes. <BR> <BR> I'm working on getting better with consuming enough water. I have come to realize that I tend to walk around on the brink of dehydration most of the time,... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 23:55:54 EST I'm So Done http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4870731 I'm tired of struggling to do stupid little things. <BR> <BR> I'm tired of how ridiculously difficult it can be to get out of a chair or off of the couch <BR> <BR> I'm tired of how difficult it can be to return from a standing position from a squat, or how hard it is for me to even maintain a squat. <BR> <BR> I'm tired of my big belly always being in my way <BR> <BR> I'm SO DONE with being in this body. Sometimes I just need to remember why I'm trying to do this, and this is why. I'm done... Mon, 7 May 2012 14:42:06 EST Sometimes the Universe answers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4843279 Earlier this week I made a post about how frustrated I am with my utter and complete lack of progress. I'm still frustrated, however, I mentioned that money was a potential obstacle to this entire journey and the universe apparently decided maybe, I needed a hand! My husband came home from work today and told me that he won a sales competition at work, in February, he didn't even know that he was in a sales competition at the time but apparently he was, and the prize was a check for 600.00 in... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 21:56:37 EST Frustrated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4839415 I'm trying really hard not to get frustrated. <BR> <BR> There are some habits I know I can improve... like snacks at night, I really need to be more mindful of what I'm eating at night, I don't know what it is about reading at night but I feel like I HAVE to have a snack with my book, I can fix that, it can be apple slices and not crackers/cheese. Maybe that will help. I can drink more water and crystal light and less pre sweetened teas like the tradewinds raspberry in my fridge calling my n... Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:37:18 EST Blargh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4838514 I'm feeling overwhelmingly frustrated at this moment. <BR> <BR> There are a couple of reasons for my frustration, one is the heat. It's not supposed to be this warm in April and I'm really just not ready for this! Another is my dog, she's sick, again. She seems to always be getting sick, I can't seem to stop her from eating things she shouldn't. By the time I get to her she's all ready swallowed the thing, and she's deaf so I can't tell her to drop it without getting her attention, which, wh... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 23:11:53 EST Choices http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4829457 I had a bad day today, well actually, I had a great DAY but I made some poor choices. <BR> <BR> A friend asked me out to lunch, and since he was paying he chose the place. We went to Olive Garden. I chose poorly because I thought to myself, I never come here, I'm going to get my favorite this once. I got it, and it was OK but it wasn't as good as I remember. I'm not going to beat myself up over it, I went over my calorie budget for the day but not by miles and now I know, I just don't like t... Tue, 10 Apr 2012 22:07:33 EST Did that just happen? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4819371 The strangest thing just happened to me. <BR> <BR> I was doing my best to grudgingly get my 30 minutes a day in, I always do that at the end of the day. It's my least favorite thing, I think about how much I hate it all day long! I got on the bike, selected a 30 minute interval workout and started peddling along. Normally I watch TV, and the timer... counting down every minute of the 30, because I loathe it. I HATE it, but I have to do it. I know I have to do it. Even if I don't lose any wei... Tue, 3 Apr 2012 22:17:13 EST Self Worth http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4816797 I was watching the Today show this morning, drinking a cup of coffee and folding my laundry. They had a segment on Middle School girls and the general perception of self worth and body image among girls that age. It occurred to me while I was watching the segment that I have put a terribly LOW value on my own worth. <BR> <BR> I remember Middle School, I remember girls trying to be better than, prettier than, smarter than everyone else. I remember how I thought of myself then. I didn't think... Mon, 2 Apr 2012 12:48:21 EST Consistency http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4788251 I have a big problem with consistency in most areas of my life. <BR> <BR> This is a relatively new problem, I wasn't always such a flake. I was a good student in high school. I did every assignment on time. My grades were quite frankly fantastic. I was a good egg. <BR> <BR> Somewhere in college when supervision was more lax, where professors weren't on me about attendance and not all assignments were mandatory I lost that structure I needed. Knowing this about myself, this need for struc... Wed, 14 Mar 2012 23:30:11 EST I just need possible. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4786382 I don't need easy, I just need possible. <BR> <BR> I keep repeating that to myself over and over. I admit I've not been very dedicated to change since I created this account. But I'm trying. I'm trying to make a better me. It's not going to be easy but it is possible. <BR> <BR> I have a million excuses. I'm tired. It's too hot. I don't feel well. I hate doing that. That's boring. I would rather be doing (insert sedentary activity here). I have a thyrioid condition that's why I can't lose th... Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:27:46 EST Something Positive http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4651640 I was washing my dishes earlier today, and I thought to myself "I hate washing dishes". As I continued to do them, because they need to be done I thought to myself, why is it that it's always easier to find what you don't like about something than what you do? <BR> <BR> I'll find myself saying I hate doing dishes, which, lets face it, it's not the most fun chore... but there are things I actually like about doing them. I like the way the dish soap smells, it's lavender and it smells really n... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 15:41:48 EST Just an ordinary thursday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4644063 I feel like I should write a little each day. Something to hold me accountable to myself. If I have to write about it, and there's a chance that someone is going to see it, I need to try actually make the changes I say I want to right? Well, that's the theory. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I said I was going to focus on getting more water into this body of mine. That's really my only concrete goal for the next week or so, each day to drink enough water. I know it seems like a really teeny tiny goal, b... Thu, 29 Dec 2011 22:11:38 EST One Step at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4642489 We all learn to walk one step at a time. It's that first step that seems the hardest isn't it? It's new, you've never done it before, you could fall. Most of us have the advantage of being very small children when we learn to walk, we haven't really developed that fear of failure that some of us unfortunately stumble into as we head toward adulthood. I certainly have. You can't walk if you don't take that first step, and what's the worst that could happen? You fall on your butt? <BR> <BR> I... Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:35:37 EST