ONESILLYME's SparkPeople Blog ONESILLYME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Decision Made After much lost sleep, excess calories and soul searching, I turned down the new job offer this afternoon. What it boiled down to was flexibility to care for my husband at my current job and the unfortunate convergence of paying for 2 months of COBRA along with 3 consecutive months of insurance deductibles if I made a switch now. The risk just felt too great if either of us had a medical emergency (not uncommon for us) and the timing not quite right. <BR> <BR> When I called the new company ... Fri, 26 Aug 2011 00:05:44 EST Don't know what to do, have to make decision I have an enviable problem. I have a job AND I have a job offer--that comes with a $7/hr raise. And I don't know what to do. <BR> <BR> There are frustrations with my current job, mostly with irrational and unresponsive upper management plus low pay, but I really do love what I do and where I do it. I applied for new job on the spur of the moment after being invited by a former co-worker who is now a manager for a competing company. I interviewed Monday & they offered me the job yesterday. ... Wed, 24 Aug 2011 10:38:51 EST PT Went to PT today & learned that I DO still limp. Hmphf! Also learned that I rotate my left foot way inward--no wonder I'm wobbly! He thinks it's all just bad habits from the last 3 years and not anything structural. So, I got an awesome massage of the incision area to loosen things up and a bunch of new exercises. <BR> <BR> I'm actually looking forward to it--it's such a pleasure to be getting better after being a little worse every day for so long! I have a prescription for twice a week fo... Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:16:39 EST Happy but not Gilmore Today was a GREAT day! Went to the doctor for my 1st post-op check. I'm a few days shy of 4 weeks, visit was delayed by doctor's vacation. Came home with a printout of the x-ray of my shiny new hip to post on my bulletin board. <BR> <BR> He was pleased & visibly surprised by how well I've recovered. We had a deal that he'd operate if I got below 300 lbs, but he still had misgivings about my weight, expected infection & for me to lay around & vegetate. I told him I've always done well with s... Tue, 12 Jul 2011 02:54:45 EST Guilty I'm still healing and still frustrated by an assortment of things. Got home and started eating pre-SparkPeople comfort food and lots of it. Had company come last Friday and ate very evil, sodium filled convenience food. Company wanted to get out & do things, so we did and I was on my feet waaay too much. Was about to quit taking pain pills but then had to ramp that up again for a couple of days. <BR> <BR> Last time I checked I was up 6 lbs and I'm sure it's more now considering how swollen ... Tue, 5 Jul 2011 20:17:17 EST Bored <BR> <em>12</em> There, I said it. I. Am. Bored. We were never allowed to say we were bored growing up, and if we did there was always some horrible chore waiting to get us un-bored. Sorry, Mom, I said it anyway. And I'm not cleaning your toilet. <BR> <BR> Surgery was 6/14 and I can't believe I've already cycled through thinking this would be a breeze, thinking pain would kill me, thinking I'd get sent to a nursing home, thinking I'd never move again without thinking about it first, think... Sun, 26 Jun 2011 04:42:50 EST Role Reversal Thomas and I are both a bit off balance with him taking care of me. Usually I'm the one making sure everyone gets to appointments, takes the right meds at the right time, etc. I love him dearly, but he sucks at it. So, starting today I'm back in charge of me. I'm also cutting my short-acting pain meds from 2 to 1 today. People keep telling me stories about friends & relatives who were out riding bikes 3 weeks post-op. That AIN'T me! But I am definitely progressing. <BR> <BR> It's akward gett... Wed, 22 Jun 2011 14:17:14 EST Home Sweet Home 2nd night after surgery was BAD. There were several times where, on a scale of 1-10, the pain was at JUST KILL ME NOW--even after they accidentally double-dosed me on oxycodone at one point. The next day my doc doubled my long-acting pain meds and problem solved. Amazing how much better PT went after that. Some of the worst pain was my left KNEE (below the operated hip). I have arthritic knees too, doc thinks he may have wrenched it while man-handling me during surgery. Ice is my friend! <BR>... Sun, 19 Jun 2011 15:34:27 EST hard day lots of pain today. i know it will get better but when i try to get up its enuf to make me think this was a mistake. i'm behind on pt & afraid i'll end up in nursing home for rehab. getting home pt at very least--was hoping to avoid that expense. at least thomas went home so i can cry w/out scaring him. i've been a very good sport till now but need to vent a lil. Wed, 15 Jun 2011 19:17:25 EST Done! hi all! i'm typing 1 handed w/o2 monitor on left hand & iv in left wrist so nothing fancy like caps. feeling surprisingly good. sat, stood & 1 hop on good leg. doc said 'it was a big job' (har har) but all went well. did i mention i love toradol + long-acting tylenol + celebrex + oxycontin? tomorrow hoping to hop to bathroom! thanks for all the good wishes <em>334</em> Tue, 14 Jun 2011 22:50:37 EST Ready, Set, GO! Alrightie, then! It's 4 freakin' thirty in the a.m. and we're leaving for the hospital in about 15 minutes. My blood pressure pills are stuck somewhere between my mouth & stomach ("take with a sip of water" hah!), I've had my 2nd shower with surgical scrub with no lotion allowed after and my skin is shriveling as we speak. I have a small headache--equal parts sleep deprivation and caffiene withdrawl. Guess I'm ready! <BR> <BR> I'm not sure when I'll be able to be personally in touch as they ... Tue, 14 Jun 2011 07:44:09 EST Getting Ready Whew! Today was my last day at work before surgery. I have remote access so will do paperwork from home Friday & Monday to save 2 days of leave, but won't be back to real live work until AUGUST! Lots of well-wishes from co-workers. Enough that it made it difficult to get all my tasks done in the time I had left. As problems go, not a bad one to have. <BR> <BR> I got my hair cut--told her to cut my bangs a bit short as it would be a while before I could come back. She misunderstood & cut abo... Fri, 10 Jun 2011 00:21:49 EST Not enough hours in the day I had great intentions of tracking all my food again, posting on the boards, etc. I have lost 2 lbs since breaking the plateau so am obviously doing something right, but haven't had time to Spark much. <BR> <BR> Getting ready for my hip replacement is becoming time consuming and life keeps throwing extra stuff at me. I'm trying to get things in order at work but today learned I have to do something like 28 patient assessments, double what I had last month with less than 1/2 the time. Trying... Thu, 2 Jun 2011 02:45:15 EST Pepsi Bad! Last time I drank Pepsi I craved carbs for 3 days & swore never to drink it again. Saturday hubby & I went to see the Lipizzaner Stallions & I decided to treat myself to: a Pepsi. It was large, cold, and I drank most of it. And once again, craving carbs. <BR> <BR> So, experiment replicated and confirmed. No more Pepsi for me. Really. I mean it this time! <BR> <BR> Got to spend Sunday with Daughter #1, which rarely happens as she's so busy. Very nice. Youngest daughter is under the weather... Mon, 30 May 2011 23:00:34 EST The Scale Moved! Down. That's it, all I have to say for now :-) Thu, 26 May 2011 10:44:41 EST I Passed <em>104</em> This morning I took and passed the Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker exam!!! Wait, let me throw in a few more exclamation points...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> This means that I can practice the full range of social work (within my personal range of competence) without working under another licensed social worker. In 2 years I'll also be able to provide supervision for others to get licensed. I have a LOT more career options now. At some point I'd like to semi-retire, ... Mon, 23 May 2011 13:54:49 EST License Exam Tomorrow Ack! Tomorrow is a big-deal high-stakes license exam for me. I have to be on time or they won't let me in. I have to bring 2 forms of ID and 2 permission letters or they won't let me in. I have to put everything I own in a locker and let them scan my palm or they won't let me in. I'm not allowed to pee unsupervised at the test site. And THEN I have to go try to pass the damned test! <BR> <BR> It's supposed to be a test of things I should already know (hah!) but social workers do such a wide ... Sun, 22 May 2011 15:40:21 EST Back at it! I have been stuck at/around 305 lbs since at least the last time I posted. Very frustrating! I think I've been making relatively good food choices, but have not been consistently tracking my meals or posting here like I did in the beginning. Hmmm...think that might have something to do with the scale being stuck? If nothing else, I know I'm retaining more water than when I was semi-obsessing about my sodium intake. <BR> <BR> Ordinarily I'd be more than fine with a brief plateau. It gives my... Thu, 19 May 2011 19:34:09 EST 6-14-11 My hip replacement surgery date just got moved up 10 days. Now I'm on the calendar for 6/14/11! Guess that means I'd better get back to logging my food & being an active Spark person--need to lose at least 10 more lbs by then. Ack! <BR> <BR> Diane Tue, 10 May 2011 10:55:15 EST Reset I don't know if anyone but me is paying attention, but I changed my start weight. I lost 5 lbs the week before starting SP and didn't include it originally. BUT, it has been driving me slightly batty to have to add 5 lbs to everything on here. So, even though I didn't loose it with SP, I'm adding in the 5lbs. Which now "officially" brings me to 30 lbs lost instead of the 25 that would have shown without the correction. Can't blame me for wanting credit for it all! Mon, 11 Apr 2011 16:20:45 EST Shopping Discoveries Hubby and I went shopping yesterday. Probably overspent, but oh, well! Everything we bought was necessary and relatively healthy. He is 3 lbs away from his goal weight & needs to concentrate on getting more protein & fiber. I, as always, need to work on less fat & sodium and more protein. <BR> <BR> Big thrills for the day were finding reduced sodium black olives at Fred Meyer/Kroger and Orange flavor La Croix seltzer at Walmart. <BR> <BR> I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE black olives but thought I would... Sun, 3 Apr 2011 16:02:47 EST I'm on the calendar! Saw the hip doctor today. He kept us waiting until after 1 p.m. for an 11:30 a.m. appointment--must be nice to be good enough at what you do to get away with that (he does it routinely according tostaff). I'm glad hubby came with so I had someone to talk to. He was glad he came because some guy in the high rise next door stripped when the "maid" came in--he loves a free show :-) <BR> <BR> I weighed in at 311 with clothes, having been told to get to 315 by this appointment. A few cursory que... Mon, 14 Mar 2011 22:17:19 EST Can't Wait I can hardly stand it--my next consult with the hip surgeon is Monday at 11:30 a.m.! Can't wait! <BR> <BR> Today I weighed just under 312 lbs (I was 310 Saturday) and I need to be at 315 or below to get surgery scheduled. I usually don't weigh so often, but this is high stakes and not knowing really bothers me! <BR> <BR> Some serious diet sabotage went on yesterday. Refined sugar, fat, sodium like crazy. (Damned free Employee Appreciation Day food!) I stopped when I realized there was an o... Thu, 10 Mar 2011 15:49:58 EST Getting Back on Track Hubby is home, we're adapting to life with one car (complicated!), and it's time for me to get back on track. My re-check with the hip surgeon is in 1 1/2 week! <BR> <BR> Early on I was losing weight rapidly enough that I thought I just might be at his "goal" weight by this appointment. That's not going to happen, but I know what got me off track and it's a pretty darned good reason. So, my new interim goal is to be sure to be under 315 by appointment day, which is what I need to get surg... Thu, 3 Mar 2011 11:50:54 EST Home Brought Hubby home Monday. His mood was a roller coaster until well after we went to bed. I slept, he didn't much. But he stayed home. This is good. Saw doctor yesterday, started new meds. Today we only cried twice--major improvement. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I may try to work part of a day, but it depends on how much snow we get. Hopefully after a good night's sleep my tolerance for frustration will be high enough to give it a go. We got some AWESOME Spikes Spider traction devices (a sub... Wed, 23 Feb 2011 22:04:20 EST Just another Manic Sunday Hubby is safely in a secure hospital ward. I haven't been able to see the doctor yet, maybe tomorrow, but hubby says they are thinking about sending him home Mon. or Tues. on the condition he does intensive out-patient treatment. I would have insisted on that anyway. <BR> <BR> They allow visits from noon-1 and 6-8 p.m. For this hour, he is still convinced my 17 year old daughter is a chronic liar and trying to "break us up." I explained that I have discussed some of her behavior (mostly ... Sun, 20 Feb 2011 16:43:28 EST Good vibes needed Well, it turns out the 3 day fight with the spouse and daughter was really the beginning of a manic episode for him (complicated by some relatively minor teenage misbehavior). He was missing for most of the week, sold our only paid for car, and was found in the next state ready to commit suicide. <BR> <BR> I would appreciate any prayers, positive thoughts, whatever your belief system allows. Sat, 19 Feb 2011 13:14:44 EST Emotional eating Wow! A 3-day 3-way fight between me, husband and 17 year old daughter = 800 calories over my daily limit yesterday. It could have been worse... 1 binge, not 3. I ate home-made reduced fat biscuits and kielbasa. I wanted full fat bakery rolls and a key lime pie (yes, I wanted the whole thing!). I always thought carbs were my comfort, but it seems fat is the real deal. <BR> <BR> Tonight we are seeing a family counselor we've seen before. My daughter is NOT going to like what I have to... Wed, 16 Feb 2011 10:31:16 EST Honeymoon over? I know that with all things, your enthusiasm goes up & down in a cycle. New marriage, you get maybe a year or two of "honeymoon." At some point things settle into a routine, as they must, with occasional bursts of renewed passion to keep things interesting. Unfortunately, with dieting (I mean life style change) the cycle seems to be much, much shorter. <BR> <BR> I've been at this (this time) for nearly 2 months and my enthusiasm is flagging. Not my determination, just my Rah! Rah! attitu... Sun, 13 Feb 2011 16:45:06 EST 1/2 way to a new hip! <em>192</em> I usually weigh on Saturdays, but hopped on the scale this a.m. instead for some reason. Woo Hoo! Down 3 more pounds. So I measured my waist & neck for the heck of it--neck down 1.5 inches & waist down 3.5 inches!!! Still really big numbers in the absolute sense, but a big improvement, especially since I haven't been able to exercise. <BR> <BR> <em>248</em> Best of all, I am just under the weight goal my hip doctor set for mid-late MARCH! That means I'm half way there. ... Fri, 4 Feb 2011 11:42:46 EST Life goes on I have not been very focused on eating healthy or exercise this week. <BR> <BR> Husband had minor surgery on his wrist on Weds. He's cranky & the house is a mess (he usually does the dishes). Youngest Daughter turned 17 Thursday AND got her driver's license, followed by her father inexplicably telling her she can't drive the car he bought for her to drive. This car was also his excuse for shorting my child support. I could live with it if she would benefit in the end, but this is not O... Sat, 29 Jan 2011 13:45:53 EST Learning All the Time A while back I learned that I really don't like mass-produced bakery cakes. I've been eating them at parties for years and somehow never noticed! I've decided not to eat them any more. On the other hand, the scratch yellow cake my daughter made the other day--wonderful! She made cupcakes & baked huckleberries into each one, then dusted them with powdered sugar. THAT I would definitely have again. Yum! <em>475</em> <BR> <BR> Saturday I had a hypoglycemic episode in the grocery store. ... Wed, 26 Jan 2011 23:38:58 EST Better Day Today WILL be a better day! <BR> <BR> My breakfast was reasonably balanced, my tea should alleviate my caffeine-withdrawl headache soon, I'm dropping the daughter off at school then headed for the ferry. <BR> <BR> One of the things I LOVE about my part time job is that they pay me to drive to see clients in "remote" areas. My Chapter of the MS society covers most of Washington along with Alaska and Montana (don't ask me why). I haven't talked them into a field trip to Alaska yet, but to... Mon, 24 Jan 2011 10:46:04 EST Can I go back to bed? I had a GREAT time last night catching up with an old friend. Good conversation, great food, nice place. (I had baked halibut and asparagus rissoto.) I even got a new haircut earlier in the day that I like. So why do I feel so crappy and cranky today? <BR> <BR> The last couple of days I have had minor binges on, of all things, Kraft Macaroni and cheese. I'll admit I enjoyed it the first time. Friday, we (I) again failed to plan for dinner, the cupboard having gotten a little bare befor... Sun, 23 Jan 2011 15:16:15 EST Water OUCH! Walking OUCH! <em>342</em> Hubby and I threw on our swimsuits, with clothes and coats over them because, well, it's winter, grabbed our coupon for 5 free passes, and headed for the Y. (I'm not joining because it would so not be cost effective, as you're about to see.) <BR> <BR> We checked in, went to our respective locker rooms and hit the pool. Thank goodness they have actual steps--I'm not sure I could have done a ladder and I definitely would have had trouble on the way out. <BR> <BR> I was in ... Sun, 16 Jan 2011 21:10:10 EST Fat Shaming Doctors Below is my response to another Spark Blog about fat-shaming doctors: <BR> <BR> For any "tough love" doctors who may be listening, here's a story about what happens when "fatties" leave your office. <BR> <BR> I need a hip replacement. No question about it, xrays prove the joint is gone and I'm months if not weeks away from a wheelchair. <BR> <BR> Doctor #1 was my husband's surgeon, has met me, has my records (I go to the same practice), knows I'm fat, and told my husband to have me come on... Sat, 15 Jan 2011 18:26:51 EST Splish Splash Today I googled, called and emailed looking for a pool to water-walk in with my brand new, stylish black and gray swimsuit (thank you, eBay!). <BR> <BR> Budget is tight because we spend about 25% of our single-earner gross income on medical expenses. Just today husband was told he needs surgery on his wrist, oy vey! Partly, though, I just can't see spending tons on a membership when literally all I can do is walk across the pool for maybe 1/2 hour, hopefully get out unassisted, then go ... Fri, 14 Jan 2011 00:03:38 EST Saboteur I've lost about 10 lbs. in the last couple of weeks. And I'm feeling the urge to sabotage myself. Guess I still have some issues to work through! <BR> <BR> I'm staying on track but there is an annoying voice in the back of my head saying, "You can't lose weight. You know you can't, you never have. If you do you won't be able to keep it off. Oh, and you've been losing weight fast--you're ahead of schedule so it won't matter if you take a break from eating healthier." <BR> <BR> I don'... Wed, 12 Jan 2011 22:18:22 EST Note to Self After a couple of weeks of attempting to eat right, we had a busy day and plain forgot to plan for dinner. The bathrooms and carpet look and smell marvelous! Unfortunately, nothing in the cupboard or freezer was appealing and we ran out for teriyaki. Daughter recommended the fried rice and it *was* delicious. <BR> <em>4</em> <em>29</em> <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I ate much too much. Note to self: I feel icky. I will feel doubly icky tomorrow when my ankles are swollen to beat hell.... Tue, 11 Jan 2011 00:05:02 EST Living with Lap Band It is interesting living with someone who has had lap band. My husband had his put in a few years ago and rapidly lost 85 lbs. He's mostly kept it off, but stalled before reaching his goal weight. <BR> <BR> He regained some by cheating the band, mostly by drinking with meals to flush food past the band to have room for more. At one time we had the band deflated due to other medical issues. He's now back on the program, back to his previous level and working really hard to get to his go... Sat, 8 Jan 2011 13:11:37 EST Angels & Fairies <em>188</em> <BR> I must have a diet angel or fairy...I mean lifestyle change fairy...sitting on my shoulder. <BR> <BR> I've been up past 1 a.m. 3 of 4 work nights this week and I'm practically falling asleep at my desk and praying for the day to be over. This is at 10 a.m., not a good omen! I decide that the ONLY way I am going to stay conscious is to break my no-pop streak and get a Pepsi. <BR> <BR> I gather my change & make the walk of shame to the break room, only to find that Pep... Fri, 7 Jan 2011 13:39:35 EST I'm apparently too tall! Swimsuit arrived today. It was adorable! It fit perfectly, or it would have if I were 4'11' instead of 5'7". I know we get shorter as we age, but I don't think I'll save this one for later. <BR> <BR> <em>237</em> <BR> <BR> Back to the drawing board... Fri, 7 Jan 2011 01:35:53 EST I guess it's real :-) Well, the scale still shows those 6 lbs gone so I guess it's real. <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> <em>249</em> I'm under the recommended daily sodium limit today for the first time! That's the limit for "normal" people, not for us hypertensives, but it's progress and I'm proud of me. I have some calories left for the day and I'm still hungry so I'll be looking for something low sodium. Balancing all this is like putting together a 4-dimensional puzzle (the usual 3 plus time)--quite challeng... Wed, 5 Jan 2011 22:53:19 EST 6 lbs down According to the scale, I'm down 6 lbs. I'm pleased (and sent myself a Goodie to celebrate) but I also know that it's easier to loose from a high weight than a lower one, and it's REALLY easy to gain it back. Heck, this could all be water, but for tonight at least, a small trimuph! <BR> <em>250</em> Wed, 5 Jan 2011 03:37:57 EST Portion Size Like the rest of America, I have no sense of portion size. Super size me? For a buck extra? Sure! <BR> <BR> One of the things I LOVE about the sparkpeople nutrition tracker, at least the Type 2 diabetic version, is that is breaks down calories/nutrients I should have at each meal and snack. Right now I am eating a GIGANTIC bowl of Zoom (hot whole wheat cereal) with an apple cooked in--and still have some breakfast calories to spare. Those calories should be protein. I'm using the heck ... Mon, 3 Jan 2011 10:54:09 EST I am math/typing challenged! Yesterday I was VERY discouraged after I finished logging my meals for the day. The feedback said I had eaten 2x the calories and 3-4x the sodium I should. The only thing I could figure I had done wrong was not eat breakfast (because I slept until lunch, lol). <BR> <BR> Then I realized I had entered 2 entire cheese pizzas instead of the 2 slices I actually ate! Fix that mistake & suddenly I was under calories for the day and while sodium was high, it was lower than the day before. <BR>... Sun, 2 Jan 2011 16:57:23 EST NOT a New Year's Resolution I have resolved to loose weight, but it is NOT a New Year's Resolution. Have you noticed how many of those fail? There is a huge difference between making a resolution because you are ready and anxious to get going on it, and making one because tradition and the calendar say you should. <BR> <BR> I used to tell myself that the only time I successfully lost weight was on Phen-Fen but that is not quite true. I did loose on Phen-Fen but I also worked hard at it and never gave myself credit... Sat, 1 Jan 2011 16:49:58 EST