ONCEUPONADREAM's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=ONCEUPONADREAM ONCEUPONADREAM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ My relationship with running and our counseling sessions. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5277855 <BR> After longer than I'd like to admit, I hit the gym sometime last week. <BR> <BR> Running and I have been on a relationship break. After my back injury last year, it's been a tooth-and-nail fight to get back to where I was. Then came on the cold of *doom*, my divorce being finalized, and back into smoking. We've been on and off since then. <BR> <BR> In the past months, I've ran a few miles here or a mile here. Letting more time go by then should. It always amazes me that when I actua... Thu, 7 Mar 2013 19:29:58 EST Gearing towards the end of the year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5134143 <BR> I woke up this morning and decided one thing. I've had enough. <BR> <BR> I've had enough of being the same weight for over a year. <BR> <BR> I've had enough of not being stronger than I was. <BR> <BR> I've had enough of not progressing. <BR> <BR> This year has had a lot of up and downs for me.. A lot of personal struggles, and it doesn't look like it's going to get any easier. So if I want to set myself up for next year, I've got to start kicking all kinds of butt now and continue ... Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:36:55 EST WI day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4966895 <BR> <BR> Man, time flies. <BR> <BR> It's already been a week since I made the decision to step on the scale and hit the re-set button. Hard to believe so much time has flown! I could hardly wait to hop on the scale this morning to see how I did. <BR> <BR> And survey says..... ? <BR> <BR> WI: 157.3 <BR> <BR> <em>67</em> 3.3 pounds roughly. <BR> <BR> Yay!! <BR> <BR> <BR> I think back to the first few days of getting back into my work out routine.. <BR> <BR> <img sr... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 09:55:35 EST Breaking bad (not the show :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4963875 Yesterday was my first scheduled run in awhile. I hadn't ran in well over a month. <BR> <BR> I wasn't able to hit the track as well prepared as I liked and was trying to adjust. The kids have done something entertaining with my IPOD which meant I was sans music. Work out pants were MIA since the move, leaving me running in light pink sweat pants. And my lungs weren't fully operating on the best capacity they've ever been. <BR> <BR> Still. As I did my warm up lap on the track, I had to re... Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:27:12 EST Smarter not harder http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4962159 <BR> Typically whenever I've needed to re-set/restart, I spend the first few days several different levels of hungry. <BR> <BR> For some reason that is beyond me, I keep trying to find a way to eat the junk food, stay within my calorie range and *be full*. Steps one through two work fine but step three? Yeah. Not so much. <BR> <BR> Wanted to give a quick example. Moms boyfriend threw a small BBQ over the weekend and there is a ton of mouth watering stuff left in the fridge. Now, normal... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 12:25:29 EST Resetting (with pictures) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4960627 <BR> Since I skipped my new years eve run, I feel like I haven't set a great record for fitness this year. Not like the last. Instead of allowing the rest of this year to be scrapped, I decided that it was time to fully start over. Clock starting now. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/3/l734011558.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Apart of which meant taking my final set of 'before' pictures. <BR> <BR> It was a pretty unpleasant shock to see how my shape has differed with the fe... Sun, 8 Jul 2012 13:48:21 EST Manning up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4958065 <BR> <BR> I got on the scale yesterday and saw a number I hadn't seen in a long time. <BR> <BR> 160.2 <BR> <BR> It flashed at me unmoving, unchanging. No matter how many times I set the scale to different parts of the room, it was unfortunately accurate. <BR> <BR> Crap. <BR> <BR> This is what happens when I stop sparking. When I choose to use my exercise time to go on dates instead of sweating it out at the gym. When I feel that I no longer need to renew motivation. <BR> <BR> *... Fri, 6 Jul 2012 13:45:25 EST Influence http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4957861 It's funny. You'd think after two years of making this lifestyle change that I'd get the one thing that sets me back a few steps outta my head. <BR> <BR> Do you know the one? It says.. <BR> <BR> "I can do this on my own." <BR> <BR> Meaning without support. Without positive influence. Just coasting off ones own steam and trying to follow the set of basic rules. <BR> <BR> Try not to over eat and exercise. <BR> Cause you know.. That alone totally gets the best results... *cough* <BR>... Fri, 6 Jul 2012 11:12:48 EST Dealing with heartache http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4854451 <BR> The other day this hit me in full effect, as I felt the familiar pain that I've come to know well over the past few years. Heart ache. <BR> <BR> Most of the quick patches I've done to my heart while strategically placing duct tape over the holes and tears.. had to do with eating my weight in comfort food. <BR> <BR> Mostly, chocolate. <BR> <BR> I suspect this is because chocolate releases dopamine which is known as the 'happiness' horomone. The one that is super addictive. I also s... Fri, 27 Apr 2012 08:12:08 EST Burn Mode *lite*. Week 1 results http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4852270 <BR> This makes me want to cry to see the progress I should have made, but I am going to post it anyway. Gotta keep going forward and remind myself of what I CAN accomplish in the next 3 weeks. <BR> <BR> Week 1: <BR> <BR> Starting weight: 154 <BR> <BR> Current weight: 151.6 <BR> <BR> Pounds lost= 2.4 <BR> <BR> <em>67</em> <BR> Miles ran without face planting= 2. <BR> <BR> Current number of miles = 4 <BR> <BR> Starting time: 12:40 a mile <BR> <BR> Current time: 11:30 a mile... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:16:53 EST Burn Mode *Lite* starting stats and ground rules http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4838290 <BR> I realized as I was planning this out in my head.. that this burn mode is the *lite* version. This symbolizes what I did in December in that it's a complete boot camp like over haul, but hour to two hour work outs everyday aren't going to be apart of this regime. Yet. <BR> <BR> This is strictly about kicking the butt of what has been maintenance mode and getting it in gear. <BR> <BR> <BR> Step one. Weigh self. Alright.. Remove fingers from eyes and LOOK at the number. <BR> ... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:39:21 EST Re-activate burn mode http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4835948 <BR> Over the past few days, I've been thinking and plotting about how to get back to the spark. <BR> <BR> I've got the routine of a full time job under me now, where it is no longer an excuse. My injuries are healed and the lupus is slightly better. My boyfriend just left for another country for an entire month, which leaves me with no excuses to not workout in my free time. AND motivation to be smokin' hot by the time he gets back. <BR> <BR> This is the time to kick ass and take names... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 12:05:00 EST nagivating the best laid plans, and coming back after injury. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4730712 <BR> Few things that I had to be reminded of the hard way. <BR> <BR> If you don't make the time for the things that are important, time isn't going to magickally appear. There are always going to be a million distractions that might seem like a better idea. Other things that might seem to grant instant gratification, but will fail to make it lasting in the long run. <BR> <BR> This is something I let myself slack on since we're getting into the meat of divorce now. I didn't make the time... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 13:25:05 EST How 24 hours makes a difference http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4653543 What if I told you, that 24 hours can make the difference? <BR> <BR> How many times has that sabotaging crazy brain that all of us get now and again, told you "it's only a day. It doesn't matter." and you've listened? <BR> <BR> It is the difference. It can be all of it! <BR> <BR> If you read any success spark journey, it all starts out the same. It starts out with that same crucial 24 hours when they decided to change. Then its followed up by another 24, and another, and so on. <BR> <B... Tue, 3 Jan 2012 09:24:30 EST Final Gauntlet Results and wishes for 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4650904 Last month, I threw down the gauntlet and declared December burn mode. Burn mode was simple. Do everything I normally do, times about 10. Push myself to the physical limit to see what I can be capable of. Just as I think I might fail, do a little more. <BR> <BR> Can I just say... Wwwwwwwheewww! <BR> <BR> Burn mode was crazy. Worth it. But crazy. It did show me just how much further I can go when I think that I can't go anymore. I've never felt more like an athlete, and it showed me so ... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 11:07:24 EST Best of 2011 with pictures! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4649519 Since my go go magic brain cells have yet to recover from last nights festivities, I thought I might do a best of 2011 in review. :) <BR> <BR> 10. Getting back into onderland. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/5/l457257504.jpg"> <BR> This was something I had been dreaming/thinking about for so many years. There were some days when it seemed so hard to push through. But I kept pushing at it, and I got here. <BR> <BR> <BR> 9. Going to Hawaii and not having to double ch... Sun, 1 Jan 2012 20:44:37 EST Holiday Survival Reminder http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4632996 While I've been working out hard in December, what happens in the next 5 days for many of us is going to determine how affective our hard work is going to be. The difficult part is nearly done. Now there is just the easy part to hang onto it, which is portion control. <BR> <BR> My mom is not only making her southern biscuts and gravy with bacon, but will be making the completely addictive... 7 layer cookie bars. These things are my weakness. They are a big reason why I came back from my ... Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:04:11 EST BMI scale graduation to http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4631784 <BR> As of yesterday morning, I have officially graduated from "chubby" to "normal" on the BMI scale. To the exact ounce. <BR> <BR> I know in my head the BMI scale is not a great indication of where I am at. It can tell no difference between someone who works out all the time at my weight, and someone else who doesn't work out at all. Even knowing this in my head, I can't say some part of me hasn't been waiting to cross over that threshold anyway. To know at least in medical terms, under t... Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:16:45 EST Gauntlet update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4629130 <BR> Man. I knew when I threw down the gauntlet at the start of this month that this wasn't going to be a cake walk. But didn't exactly bank on the mental aspect of it either. <BR> <BR> It's only been two weeks since I've eaten fast food. And man, somedays it feels like a million. Had to really struggle a couple of days ago with fresh hot pizza in mah face, but somehow, I got through it. .I have to remind myself that doing this isn't about deprivation. <BR> <BR> Does this look like depr... Sat, 17 Dec 2011 11:53:34 EST Kick December in the pants (picture blog)! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4625225 By request of posiongirl. :) <BR> <BR> Well, we're almost half way through the month.. And for those of us who haven't gotten as much out if as we wanted to? There is still time. And you know when that time starts? RIGHT NOW. <BR> <BR> What are you waiting for?! <BR> <BR> Consider this your written invitation to come along with me to make this month count. I know you may feel like you are doing everything you can. I feel that way too. You know what? Let's go HARDER. <BR> <BR> <img sr... Wed, 14 Dec 2011 09:56:59 EST One of them days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4624367 <BR> Today was totally one of *those* days. Yeah, that's right. You know that ones. The ones where the scale determines exactly how good or bad it's gonna be. <BR> <BR> Even though I stuck to my calorie range yesterday, I had a feeling I should skip my daily weigh in. And of course, my instinct did not disappoint me when I saw I was.. ahem, 2 pounds up. <BR> <BR> I debated for a second about banging my head onto the wall in frustration. But remembering exactly how many times I've smack m... Tue, 13 Dec 2011 15:55:38 EST The good news.. and the bad news. Medical update. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4611579 This year has been full of twist and turns. Some of them good, and others of them not so good. One of the biggest things in our family though, is it has been full of medical things. My sister had two major surgeries this year, and as of this Wed my mom will be having her second. <BR> <BR> In all things considered, I am lucky in this aspect. I have been sick on and off, but only required one night of hospital stay. It isn't hard to imagine the trapidation of going to the doctor yesterday won... Sun, 4 Dec 2011 09:26:29 EST Throwing down the gauntlet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4609573 I just realized that since late September I've stuck been at 90 pounds lost. <BR> That means it has been over 2 months with little to no progress (unless you the pounds I gained, then had to lose again from vacation)! <BR> <BR> Alright December. I got you. It's time to set this on fire. Consider the gauntlet thrown! <BR> <BR> This is the list my inner athlete came up with to do it. <BR> <BR> <em>445</em> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/1/l515942682.jpg"> <BR> P... Fri, 2 Dec 2011 15:38:49 EST Goals! I has them! (with pictures) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4605835 My fitness motivation for the past month and half has been really lacking. As in, I am now riding the line of Fitness Santa's naughty list kind of lacking. <BR> <BR> Since landing in the hospital which put a major crimp in my running plans.. I kind of let it fall by the waste side. I didn't stop fitness, but I stopped reaching for goals since I couldn't hit my running ones. Now that I am back to running (good gravy.. I've got 5 miles scheduled today!!), I am starting to look at other things... Wed, 30 Nov 2011 10:59:13 EST Making the holidays about family, not food. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4597094 For all the changes I've made this past year, this is one of the harder ones for me to grasp. Which is strange when you consider when I was growing up, the holidays used to be all about family. <BR> <BR> All the kids would get together to play various games. The women of the family would gossip at our big oak kitchen table over freshly brewed coffee. And without fail, the men would retreat to the family room to talk about men related things. The food seemed to be an after thought, as most ... Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:28:05 EST When aiming for the moon, if you fail, at least you'll land amongst the stars.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4589323 <BR> <BR> First, wanna start off with this... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/0/l707670540.jpg"> <BR> <BR> That is where my head has been at the past few days. <BR> <BR> Getting motivated to work out has been several flavors of tough. Don't know if it's due to the 'chest cold of doooooom!' that is still hanging around, being unable to run far distances which was the majority of my working out.. or if its still post vacation back on the ball. <BR> <BR> Eith... Thu, 17 Nov 2011 22:09:20 EST When life hands you lemons.. have a lemon fight. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4574468 <BR> One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn about weight loss has been 5 years and coming. This lifestyle change isn't about not having any set backs. It's about how to navigate them and get back on the horse when they happen. Because kids, at some point, they are going to happen. <BR> <BR> At some point in your journey, something somewhere is not going to go according to plan. Maybe it's a minor injury from doing too much too soon. Maybe it's stress at work/home or a sudden shift i... Tue, 8 Nov 2011 11:09:22 EST Motivation... where are you? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4520964 <BR> It's usually never a good sign when things start to go off path before 8am. Universal law suggestion 1: things shall not go array until at least ones morning coffee has had a chance to kick in. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/7/l676877234.jpg"> <BR> Yes, I am captain grumpy pants this morning. <BR> <BR> So, things aren't going to go the way that I planned them. While this is no less annoying, that's apart of life. Doesn't mean that it has to be a bad thing. So... Wed, 5 Oct 2011 14:28:00 EST Made it to first Goal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4517433 Yesterday morning I saw a number blinking up at me that once I had only dreamed about. 159.6. "Don't get too excited." I told myself. "It could be a fluke. Let's see if it stays the same tomorrow." <BR> <BR> Most of the day was spent wondering if it was for real. Then being subsequently terrified that it had been some kind of mistake. A day removed, and I am still terrified that its not going to last. <BR> <BR> Only too well do I remember what it was like at 270 pounds. Setting my weight lo... Mon, 3 Oct 2011 17:27:05 EST How bad do you want it? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4514808 <BR> Ever since I did 10k, I let myself get pulled into a funk. I was .2 away from my first big goal the morning of the run. I worked super extra hard those 2 days to push through my 160 barrier, only to have it not change. <BR> <BR> We all know how that is, right? We put in the extra hard work. We want to see some kind of results right then to validate that it is working. Unfortunately, seeing those instant results is not always possible. When it isn't possible, the result can be prett... Sun, 2 Oct 2011 09:26:35 EST what am I doing here again? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4503031 The moment that I had been building up in my head since I started running a year ago had arrived. Again, no one could have told me when I started the C25k program that I would be standing in this very spot. On a dark sunday morning where the wind seemed colder than its 58 degree registered temp, waiting to run 6 miles. <BR> <BR> All around me where what looked like seasoned runners. Most of them were fit and thin. Several even had shirts that were sponsored by various companies, and nearly... Sun, 25 Sep 2011 12:54:11 EST Getting passed the fear http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4492421 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l101461441.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I registered for my first ever 10k for breast cancer. I have not officially ever ran that distance, and the last time I remembered documenting that I did it was months ago. The closest I get is 5 miles or 5.5. So this is going to present a bit of a challenge. Especially seeing how the race is next week. <BR> <BR> So many times when I've seen the differences in race options, I let myself not commit to something ha... Mon, 19 Sep 2011 09:16:58 EST That's not a plateau.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4486288 <BR> For the past threeish weeks, it was really looking like I hit another plateau. Working out 4-6 days a week, and ending every work out covered in sweat? Check. Eating within my calorie range or below? Check. Bouncing between the same 1.2 pounds inspite of numbers 1 through 2? ... Check. <BR> <BR> The 5 pounds left on my ticker wall seemed to mock me during every weigh in. It became something to glare at each morning after I hopped on and subsequently, threatened my scale. And inwardly... Thu, 15 Sep 2011 10:55:37 EST Safety with night runs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4483019 I had originally planned this to be an entirely different blog, but last night changed that. I failed to listen to my instinct and as a result, I got a really good scare. Although the outcome turned out fine, it just as easily couldn't have. So I am blogging this as a reminder to myself and all of you about safety during night runs. 97 percent of you will likely never have an issue or problem, but for the other 3 percent.. well. It never hurts to be cautious. <BR> <BR> A few key points ar... Tue, 13 Sep 2011 15:59:46 EST Dirty Girl Mud Run 2011 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4449887 Interior: Sisters house, last saturday <BR> <BR> The blaring of Stone Sour's "So Cold" seemed to shake the small apartment as it went off. I stifled a groan, trying to bury my head beneath the pillow to block it out. Some logical part of my brain that was awake knew that this wasn't a form of torture, it was the 4:45am wake up call that I ordered. <BR> <BR> Once it stopped, there were only a few precious seconds to think about catching a few more minutes rest. Which were over when my siste... Fri, 26 Aug 2011 14:47:54 EST I give to you.... low calorie donuts! No, seriously! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4445994 Alright. I really really really want to write about my mud run, but I promised I'd give these donuts their own due first. Admittedly I was waiting to get a better picture, but as we know with these things, if I keep waiting for the perfect one it's never gonna happen. Soooo! I give to you... <BR> <BR> lower calorie donuts from hungry girl! Daaahhh duuuh! <BR> <BR> (note the professional photo.. hence not my picture. My picture is farther down) <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeopl... Wed, 24 Aug 2011 13:42:15 EST 80+ pounds gone with pics http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4435094 Sometime last weekend I hit one of my biggest milestones. I've taken off 80 pounds. Keep in mind, there was an additional 20 lost before hand which brings the total up to three digits. But without the couple years break, we are talking 80 consistantly. <BR> <BR> Last Saturday my sister and I got to celebrate that in our normal meeting (which is losing its luster for me). One of my favorite girls at the register heard the clapping and when I came out asked if it was me. She congratulated me ... Thu, 18 Aug 2011 15:44:28 EST For her http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4428575 This past week I've had drag myself up by the boot straps, gritting my teeth the entire way. I've even had to catch myself once or twice trying to dip a toe or two in that ol' self pity river that some of us tend to swim in on occasion. <BR> <BR> Then something occured to me the other day while I was going through another grueling hour with Jillian. She was giving me the same spiel she does every time I watch her.. "Do not phone this in. You gotta fight for it". And man, I was trying not a... Mon, 15 Aug 2011 15:06:14 EST Chocolate chip cookie dough for breakfast and being somewhat healthy? YES! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4416219 Normally when I am attacked by the chocolate craving monster, I realize this is my bodies way of telling me to expect other things within the week. I've learned over the past year to not ignore these cravings, but to allow them within certain moderation. Otherwise, I end up the girl at 3 oclock at the morning at the 7 11 with her hair sticking up three ways from sunday.. red rimmed eyes, and a horde of candy in her arms that looks like I robbed some poor kids halloween stash. <BR> <BR> Yes... Tue, 9 Aug 2011 09:53:08 EST Ever have those months that seem... cursed? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4400318 <BR> Seriously. Every August for as long as I have been paying attention has been extremely rough in one way or another. I try not to buy into it. Honestly. Supersitution? Hocus Pocus? Come on. It's just a month! It doesn't have feelings! <BR> <BR> Except it feels like it does, and it has the major case of the Mondays as far as I am concerned. <BR> <BR> Everyone who knows me real time can tell you I've been pushing it out like no ones business. Especially this past weekend. Saturday was ... Mon, 1 Aug 2011 15:59:35 EST Ultra super secret ways of self sabotage. Lesson 1. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4394309 <BR> <BR> I broke one of the major rules a few days back. No, I don't meant bent or gently pulled until it screamed for mercy. I mean, flat out broke it until no amount of super glue was putting it back together. <BR> <BR> Wish that I could tell you that it wasn't really my fault. That I was set up. Tricked. Lead into some kind of ninja trap. But that wouldn't be the truth of the matter. The truth is, once I realized the situation, I knew I was gonna break that rule. I choose not to do an... Fri, 29 Jul 2011 14:31:56 EST Toddlers aren't the only ones who have tantrums http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4389811 <BR> <BR> *whistling somewhat innocently* <BR> <BR> This past month has been rough for me weight loss wise. I've really been bumping up my activity level and pushing myself well passed my comfort zone. My work outs are living in the land of 'uncomfortable'. My eating where I normally have this sort of flexiablity, has been more rigid at times than my lifestyle would ever call for. Goals! I has them. <BR> <BR> Because I have an addictive kind of personality (who, me?), I step on the sca... Wed, 27 Jul 2011 13:04:54 EST My fitness wishlist (with pictures!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4375798 <BR> 1. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/8/l986669483.jpg"> <BR> I want to be able to do 5 of these eventually without any assistance. Right now, I am up to 2 with assistance.. I've never been able to do that, not even when I was 130 pounds! <BR> <BR> 2. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/7/l674320850.jpg"> <BR> To be able to hold this pose for longer than a minute AND be able to kick one of my legs straight up! <BR> <BR> 3. <img src="http://photos-ak... Wed, 20 Jul 2011 22:00:24 EST Renewing motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4373513 <BR> First things first.. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l391260566.jpg"> <BR> <BR> It's been about a year or so since I started on my lifestyle change. In that time, I've taken off around 75 pounds. <BR> <BR> There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I had commited fully much sooner, years even. Since I can not go back and turn the clock around, the best thing for me now is to continue to make sure that never happens again. <BR> <BR> <BR> S... Tue, 19 Jul 2011 21:27:15 EST Mental Toughness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4366067 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/6/l660550212.jpg"> <BR> The other day, was decidedly, a bad day. M had offered to play warden so I could go running for an hour, because he was going to be gone for work for awhile. Problem was at first, I killed myself with Jillian a day before, and I was planning a well deserved rest day. It didn't take long for frusteration to build quickly, that I decided to run to my sisters to see her. This is a mile each way and gives me time to cool dow... Sat, 16 Jul 2011 09:54:27 EST Trying to break through the wall http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4357822 <BR> The all knowing, all mighty, all currently-running-my-life scale, has basically went to inch worm status. It's really dishardening when I am logging around 15 ish miles in a single week, and I am not eating massive amounts of crap. <BR> <BR> I feel stuck again, which makes crazy brain want to take over. We all know the crazy brain voice, don't we? Mine kind of sounded like this today. <BR> "If this isn't making a difference, then why kill yourself for it? Why not just eat what you wa... Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:05:07 EST The candle that burns brightest burns half as long http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4343386 <BR> <BR> Under normal circumstances when I run, its just me, the road, and the music pumping through my headphones. Nothing else exist but the strike of my foot meeting the pavement to the beat that is blaring into my ears. Every now and then I'll adjust my stride or my breath. But it's very much like being on auto pilot or cruise control. <BR> <BR> The exception to these are when I end up at the track. It never seems to matter when I go. Early morning, afternoon or night. Sometimes the... Tue, 5 Jul 2011 20:32:39 EST Fiiiiiiirreeeeeeee it up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4340911 <BR> <em>283</em> Happy 4th everyone! <em>283</em> <BR> <BR> Man. I am so happy that this holiday is on a weekday and not a weekend!! <BR> <BR> Saturday as I suspect was mentally tough for me, and I didn't do as well as I wanted to. One of my besties ended up changing plans from when I was supposed to meet her at her house, to meeting her at a resturant. Red Lobster no less. I did stay way from the cheddar bay biscuts all together, choose water, split half of my meal with one of my ot... Mon, 4 Jul 2011 17:05:13 EST Weekend reminder to myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4337313 <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/7/l772420847.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Alright. Take a good look at that picture above. That is awesome, right? Note the muscles! Note the form! How mind blowing would it be to not only look like that, but be able to do that? <BR> <BR> In a couple of hours when we are gonna go hang with our bestie and see a metal show (where there is going to be SO much beer!), lets keep this picture in mind. Throwing caution to the wind, drinking copious amoun... Sat, 2 Jul 2011 13:53:33 EST My Declaration of Independence (DIY) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4335031 <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/3/l536687838.jpg"> <BR> <em>195</em> <BR> Dear Fat, <BR> <BR> I am declairing my independence from you today. In short, this means... I wanna break up. I no longer wish to be limited or defined by you. I know this comes with some confusion as many years, I almost coveted you. Used you to in misguided attempts to try to protect myself. Because I didn't feel strong enough to fight for myself, if I needed to fight. But I realized that in... Fri, 1 Jul 2011 10:51:10 EST