ON2VICTORY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=ON2VICTORY ON2VICTORY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Getting to the root cause http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5904558 I have been doing some deep thinking to try to understand just exactly what the heck happened to me that caused my weight regain and fitness meltdown. Basic cause and effect, fault analysis if you will. If you don't take the time to understand why something failed, you will never truly be able to prevent a subsequent failure. <BR> <BR> I think that what happened to me was a perfect storm of ongoing physical problems that stopped me from what I was the most emotionally invested in, forced dow... Fri, 3 Apr 2015 02:13:02 EST Motivation Defined http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5902918 I woke up with this on my mind: <BR> <BR> One thing I have learned early in my journey is that it is a mistake to to think that motivation is some feeling that comes after the woo hoo fairy sprinkles pixie dust on you and somehow the feel good overrides all internal resistance and you find yourself propelled through workouts and past temptations by a tidal wave of positive feelings. <BR> <BR> Nonsense.. Hell will freeze over first. <BR> <BR> When I was a kid, one of the things I loved to d... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:48:58 EST Today I Was Inspired... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901637 Today I was inspired to go to the gym. I got on the elliptical and just simply plodded along. At about 2 miles I was pretty much ready to quit. Mentally I was losing my focus and it was starting to get late. <BR> <BR> ....Then I popped in my ear buds.... <BR> <BR> As some of my favorite running tunes played my mind began to drift. Nothing new there except I began to reminisce about my past races and all the memories. Man, it was a long list. As each one paraded by, I was reminded of how muc... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 11:19:57 EST Today I choose... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879169 Today I am thankful. I am thankful I have a job that pays my bills and then some (not my jobs fault my eyes get bigger than my wallet). <BR> <BR> I am thankful that I have a new day to make things right instead of continuing on in my usual self inflicted stupidity. <BR> <BR> I am thankful that I can try something new and improve my habits. <BR> <BR> I am thankful I can choose not to be enslaved to my old addictions and downfalls. <BR> <BR> I am thankful that I can choose to move on and le... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 05:18:15 EST On my way back. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5875678 This period that I have been going through is by far the most difficult I have ever experienced on my journey. It has been a real eye opener. It's one thing when you are living in the promised land, it is quite another when you have seen it but then find yourself wandering in the wilderness. This, I believe, is what you rarely ever hear discussed. All you ever hear is how this one or that one was successful, lost a bazillion pounds and their life is punctuated with a happily ever after. Meanw... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 13:48:03 EST If I had a client... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5869185 It is easy to have faith for someone else. It is especially easy when you have been in the storm that someone else is experiencing. It is quite another when you are sitting in the drivers seat. When you are feeling the deep inner panic of knowing you are in trouble, when you are feeling the fears that come from losing your way when you were once so solid in your resolve. That feeling that comes over you when clothes that used to be loose are now starting to be uncomfortably tight. <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 4 Feb 2015 07:45:08 EST Keep it simple http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5846648 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l21765347.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> Consistency and awareness is the key to successful eating. I admit that I am simply starting over in life as far as my lifestyle journey goes. I took a really hard tumble over the last 6 months. Even using an app like Lose It of MFP is too complicated since much of what I have eaten cant be easily quantified where the nutrient contents can be accounted (read- mystery dishes at parties etc..) So I wouldn't log ... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 12:29:20 EST Just a quick reminder to myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5833377 I am going to re-post these as a reminder to myself. These pictures represent one of the greatest moments of my life...ever, a monumental accomplishment. Just because I currently can't run doesn't take away from how epic that moment really was.... and yes, I'd like to re-live it a little if for no other reason than to remind myself how capable I really am sometimes we all need a little reminder. <BR> <BR> I have come a long way and just because I have issues now does not change the fact that... Mon, 15 Dec 2014 11:54:14 EST An open letter to runners... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831921 I posted this in a runners group forum on FB but felt it was worth sharing here... if you are a runner, read this and think... <BR> <BR> "It's been a long time since I posted here. In short, I miss running. For now, I have had to hang it up and follow other fitness paths. There is nothing more I would love to do than to re-live the feeling of finishing a marathon or 70.3. I am still looking for answers concerning my ankle and the issues surrounding it but after a grieving process I have fina... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 12:08:29 EST What true recovery is all about.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831425 I am doing much better. If anything I am learning what true recovery is all about. It is about slowly rebuilding and taking small steps. Those things that drew me in close to a fitness lifestyle are those things that will bring me back. One of the first lessons I learned early on is to develop an emotional connection with exercise. One reason a persons exercise commitment fails is because they are doing it for the wrong reason. Generally, when one embarks on some effort to establish / re-esta... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 13:35:11 EST Picking Myself Back Up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824102 Well it finally happened. I crashed. After 5 years of success and doing cool things, I thought I had the whole mental game pretty well figured out. It's a long explanation so I won't go into it because I don't have time to explain. I was in post-op rehab for my shoulder and at the same time I was rehabbing my left ankle and trying to strengthen my stability so I might be able to run again. I had held out some hope that my ankle was fixable to I soldiered through the exercises with an upbeat s... Fri, 28 Nov 2014 03:34:49 EST Metabolic Testing Results And Findings- Part 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5782913 The purpose of these last two blogs is to raise awareness among the weight loss community about this test and the benefits as well as to share what I have learned both through my own trial and error experiences and what has been finally confirmed by science. THIS WILL BE A LENGTHY BLOG.. be forewarned. If you want to educate yourself, read on. If you have been stuck forever like I have, read on. If you are looking for a quick woo-hoo-you-can-do-it, then move on, this post is not for you. I am... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 11:04:37 EST Metabolic Testing Results And Findings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780995 Ever since I have been on this journey I have been using various online calculators to get some sort of a number to base my caloric intake on. For those new to this, we are talking about BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) or RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate). The idea is to determine what our approximate caloric intake should be. The concept is that this is the base caloric need of your body at rest, just existing, breathing, and little else except powering the processes within to support your metabolic ... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 12:31:15 EST How do we define success anyway? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5779978 I was going to write a blog about my experience at the Indianapolis Spark Rally on August 23rd, post pics, and how much fun we had but this is more important. I had the opportunity to spend some time with Beth Donovan (~Indygirl) and something came out of our conversations that really made my blood boil. (I did ask permission to share some of this story first) <BR> <BR> Well ok, here is one pic... <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1615966104.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Anyway....... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 00:04:51 EST 30 day challenge Day 31 -Results And Findings... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5770578 Well here we are at the end of 31 days of my personal challenge. For those just tuning in, I am off work recovering from a surgical procedure on my shoulder. I have no competition for my time while I recover and decided to challenge myself to see what I can do in 30 days if I had NO interference from life and the stresses that go with it. <BR> <BR> Two Primary Observations: <BR> <BR> 1) Sleep and stress- <BR> <BR> The biggest benefit has been sleep and stress. Without question this has be... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 16:23:16 EST Day 8 accountability blog - 30 Day Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5758923 So far I have been doing really good. For those just tuning in, I am recovering from shoulder surgery and am off work until I am done rehabbing. I decided to challenge myself to the following: <BR> <BR> What would happen if I was to take the next 30 days unrestricted by work demands to eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest, and improve my family / social ties? What effect would that have on my overall health and weight? <BR> <BR> -Improvements would give credibility to the idea that we /... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 11:39:06 EST Accountability Blog Day 4 of 30 Day Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5755714 So far, things have gone far better than I expected. My mobility has improved greatly and I have been working out and watching my intake consistently. I will post something more detailed a little later as well as observations and such. Here is one such observation that hit me this morning and pretty much sums it up. What you are about to read is a very condensed version of all that i have learned in the last 6 years of my journey when it comes to motivation. <BR> <BR> Here is your thought fo... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 11:22:23 EST Recovering From Surgery And A Personal Challenge Day 1. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5753578 Life has put me in the time out corner for a little while. To get to the point, I had an old injury rear its ugly head over the last year and it got to the point that I had to do something about it. About 15 yrs ago I was trying to be macho man at a softball game and swung way too hard and of course, I missed but I did succeed in tearing the cartilage in my right shoulder. July 30th I went in to have it operated on and so far my recovery is going well. <BR> <BR> Recovery Room <BR> <img s... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 11:31:06 EST A Wonderful Fathers Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5718824 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/5/l456428111.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I got quite the surprise in my lunch today. I am on midnight shift this week and predictably, I felt myself starting to sink into a slump. It happens every time I rotate to night shift. The feelings of isolation and sleep deprivation all begin to take their toll and it can be quite overwhelming. When I was getting ready for my second 12hr shift, I found a note from my oldest daughter. It wasn't fancy, just a simpl... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 02:36:01 EST Update for my friends... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715804 I have been really, really busy over the last month so here is a quick summary before I go to night shift... <BR> <BR> 1) What started out as a local idea for a running club at the Anytime Fitness I go to, has now gone area wide spanning 2 counties. We are coordinating group runs and are planning a group trip to the Whistlestop race in Ashland Wisconsin in October. There is a full and half marathon as well as a 5 & 10K race so there is something for everyone in our group. <BR> <BR> 2) I com... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 13:20:10 EST Couch to 5k kick off presentation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5695379 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1795983888.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1211344171.jpg"> <BR> <BR> We had a small group for our initial couch to 5k kickoff and it went really well. This has been a long time in coming, everything that has gone into turning this idea from a mere day dream to a physical reality has been worth it. It often takes far more energy to get something off the ground than it does to keep it going and this is no diffe... Thu, 15 May 2014 02:55:50 EST I did it :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5691098 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1619421592.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Up on the wall with my running coach and weight management certifications :) <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/8/l986665782.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Just a quick note for my SP friends that I finished my Kettlebell certification. I finished my goal way ahead of schedule which leaves me time this year for the big push to finish my CPT. While I'm not ready to start training clients one on one, this puts ... Fri, 9 May 2014 08:16:19 EST Pursuing Kettlebell Certification.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5685736 On top of my growing to do list, I am working on obtaining a level 1 kettlebell instructor certification (HIKF) . It is also the only one that I am aware of that is sanctioned for CEU's from ACE (American Council on Exercise) <BR> <link>kbgym.com/ebook.html </link> <BR> <BR> . I have always had an interest in them as opposed to more main stream strength training. Kettlebells have been around since the 1700's in the Soviet Union and have been named the "Strength Secret Of The Soviet Superme... Fri, 2 May 2014 11:58:39 EST Today is a day of victory http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5683999 Last night was an extraordinary proud moment for me. I have a client that just moved to the area from out of state and really didn't know anyone here. She was very shy and was scared to join a gym. She was not used to challenging herself. I met her initially through a Facebook post on another friends page and they were coaxing her to come out to a step aerobic class so I chimed in and then made it a point to go myself. <BR> <BR> Over time we talked and I learned that she really wants to part... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:11:07 EST If you really want to help me... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5682302 I cant talk about it here on SP but there is something really big going on in my life right now and is a very worthy endeavor. Message or friend me on FB to find out if you are interested... <BR> <BR> Look me up on Facebook.. <BR> <link>www.facebook.com/#!/robert.wadhams.7 </link> <BR> <em>387</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Mon, 28 Apr 2014 10:55:12 EST PROOF: the number on the scale does not define success... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5680984 I have found hard evidence in my personal journey that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that numbers on the scale is not the defining factor. <BR> <BR> I am going to present evidence and facts much like a lawyer would to convince you to quit fretting every time there is a slight uptick or no change. Honestly folks, it's time to stop the madness. <BR> <BR> Let me start by asking a very pointed statement. <BR> <BR> I believe that we as a society are so externally focused that we would rathe... Sat, 26 Apr 2014 13:51:37 EST Input needed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5677573 I am seriously mulling over the idea of starting up an online coaching / weight loss mentoring program. This is still a long time in the making and is far from actually rolling out but I'm just considering my options. Since I work shift work, doing something online would make sense because my primary working hours are so weird. I may just simply stick with my original idea of doing a weight loss support group at my local gym and leave it at that. I guess I'm simply thinking out loud and looki... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 04:58:25 EST 2 Big Announcements http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5672675 The first is that I am finally officially a trainer at Anytime Fitness, Ishpeming, MI. I can't totally explain why I needed to see my picture up on the wall in order to accept that I am actually a trainer but I guess I did. Maybe it is simply the fact that while so much of what has happened was verbal, this is physical, real. I can see it and touch it. It is a confirmation of what has happened and that it is no longer a plan or a goal, it is now a reality, and that is a game changer. <BR> <B... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 09:38:31 EST Oreo The Shelter Kitty Comes Home http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5665389 There were a number of my Sparkfriends that wanted to see pictures of my new shelter kitty. I did one better and made a video of my babys first week home. I love my kitty and he now has a forever home. <BR> <BR> Enjoy <BR> <BR> **BTW.. since this was filmed, Oreo and the other kitty-Mookie are now getting along much better...it's fragile cease fire but I'll take it. :) <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l129034718.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeopl... Sun, 6 Apr 2014 00:06:40 EST Think Emotional Eating Is Only For The http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664234 Think you are weak because you reach for food when stressed out? ... Guess again. <BR> <BR> I had a fantastic thought this morning that I just had to share before I head out. In survival training, they taught us the "Rule Of Three" in prioritizing needs. <BR> <BR> You WILL die if you go more than... <BR> 3 minutes without air <BR> 3 hours without shelter <BR> 3 days without water <BR> 3 weeks without food <BR> <BR> - And that depends GREATLY on the circumstances... times could be drastical... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 11:08:52 EST Journey To The Root Of The Problem... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662413 <BR> This journey is far more than simply losing some unwanted pounds. I was emotionally battered and I didn’t even realize it, since I had developed so many unhealthy coping mechanisms. I would eat to suppress and then simply laugh it off. My usual reaction after walking away from the buffet with yet another heaping plate was to shrug it off and, with a laugh, say, "Oh well, diet starts tomorrow!" or " I'm defeating anorexia one egg roll at a time". Behind the smile and jovial sense of hum... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 08:36:14 EST Behind Clark Kent Glasses http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5652893 Life as an "in-betweener" is really a strange place to be. An "in-betweener" is someone who is between morbidly obese and goal weight. In general, "in-betweeners" and their accomplishments are typically dismissed by the world because in spite of losing a lot of weight, we still look like we just got off the couch. We don't have "the look" <BR> <BR> I've gotten this a lot at doctors offices where they don't know me. I used to get offended when a medical professional would make comments about ... Fri, 21 Mar 2014 04:11:45 EST Update for my Sparkfriends... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646466 It's been a little bit since I have blogged. I've been very busy and involved intensely in getting the Couch to 5K program off the ground at my local Anytime Fitness. On top of all of that, I have been in therapy or seeing the orthopedic specialist. Now I know why my shoulder has had so much pain lately. <BR> <BR> I have a rotator cuff problem. <BR> <BR> I will know more next Tuesday but, while it is painful, it is good to know what I am up against. I've lived with this problem for years b... Wed, 12 Mar 2014 20:52:49 EST Quick Update- Presentation At Anytime Fitness.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5628489 My presentation at Anytime Fitness went far better than I anticipated. The turnout was good and the atmosphere was fantastic. I stewed over last minute details and how I was going to lead off. I came to the conclusion to not sweat the details, just deliver what's in your heart. I had no notes with the exception of some Power Point slides with some bullet statements and photos, the rest came direct from my heart to theirs. It was a powerful hour of sharing and I really felt a connection with ... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 16:05:46 EST Big Accomplishment! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5626017 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/7/l771156160.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Tonight I finished my specialty certification in weight management through ACE (American Council on Exercise). This is a big accomplishment since the Certified Personal Trainer material is a little intimidating. There is so much technical info concerning physiology, training, assessment, and training models that it's like wading through quicksand. However, when it comes to the psychology of weight loss, motivation... Mon, 17 Feb 2014 00:27:59 EST Found my old shirt. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5620594 I was rummaging through my closet for old clothes to bring to my presentation. I found this old shirt. It almost got tossed a few years ago but I kept it for some unknown reason. This shirt and my old pants are all that remain of my old life along with a few pictures. <BR> <BR> Dont do like I did and totally clean your closet. I know you want to be rid of your past BUT... remember this... what may seem to be a reminder of yesterdays shame is actually the irreplaceable trophy of tomorrow. <BR... Mon, 10 Feb 2014 16:15:23 EST Presentation At Anytime Fitness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5619542 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l101607903.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Well, it's going to finally happen. I will be giving a presentation at my local Anytime Fitness on February 18th at 7pm. I got the finishing touches done last night on my Power Point and am now working on hand outs. This is both an exciting and scary time for me because everything I have dreamed about and have been blogging about is about to come to pass. <BR> <BR> For quite a while now, I have been compiling thou... Sun, 9 Feb 2014 15:11:55 EST Of equal or greater value.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5614721 I should be sleeping but I woke up with this thought rolling around in my head. You know what that means, I'm not going to be able to sleep unless I get it out so here I am typing. Imagine if you will that you had a twenty dollar bill in your hand. If I asked you to give it to me, you would ponder if what I am asking you is worth the sacrifice. If I offered you a five for the twenty, you would probably clutch it wondering what I was trying to pull. What about a twenty for a twenty? You would... Tue, 4 Feb 2014 07:51:41 EST Obesity Is... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5612116 Obesity is far more than simply carrying around a few pounds, obesity destroys the will, destroys your dreams and eliminates your desire to reach, putting you into a rut of a defeated life. Soon your mind is trained not to expect anything out of yourself because that is easier than facing your condition head on and doing something about it. When you become morbidly obese, the walls of your world close in slowly until your comfort zone becomes a prison. <BR> <BR> This is a path where I am lea... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 13:05:12 EST Recovery from set backs, my survival kit. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5608815 Recovery from set backs <BR> <BR> Part 3 in series <BR> <BR> The third skill that has really made a difference in my efforts is the ability to recover from set backs. Stay on this path long enough and you are going to encounter discouragement and defeat. I think I am safe in making a generalized statement, that the vast majority of us have no grand visions of weight just falling off just because we decide to make a few changes and eat a few more veggies. We go into this knowing that we are... Wed, 29 Jan 2014 03:44:16 EST The emotional economy- building the strength within http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5606782 This is the second in series.... <BR> <BR> The only frame of reference I have is my own experience. However, I do believe I am not the only one who has shared this all too common experience. When I first started my journey (again), I was greatly lacking in the one thing I needed the most to see this through, faith. Faith in the process, faith that my hard work would actually pay lasting dividends, and faith that my efforts wouldn't end up on the scrap heap again. A casual examination of the ... Mon, 27 Jan 2014 04:05:25 EST Purpose driven fitness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5604939 On February 18th I will (should) be giving a presentation. It is my opportunity to tell my story and share those things that really made a difference in my journey. I'm really thankful for the opportunity as well as I am also a little blown away as to how quickly things came together after a period of going back and forth and one hang up after another. The presentation is an opportunity for the folks at the gym to meet me and be introduced to the couch to 5k program. <BR> <BR> The presenta... Sat, 25 Jan 2014 04:22:03 EST Daddys...Push Your Girls... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5582865 She is 17 and beautiful. She didn't get much of her good looks from me but she did get some of my stubbornness. Last night she was using Facetime to chat with her latest boy-interest. I popped my head in to ask if she wanted to do a particular activity that I had planned out and got somewhat of a lukewarm reply. I knew why she wasn't interested, understood why, but as a knee jerk reaction I still felt replaced and no longer needed. I asked who it was this time and after a little coaxing she ... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 11:20:40 EST Inbetweeners..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5576241 I was doing some reading tonight about body image and self acceptance. There were some things that really hit me and really provoked some deep introspection. I realized that for all that I have done, I am ashamed of what I look like. You see, I belong to a very unique group of people. For a lack of better terms I will call this special group "in-betweeners". We are not couch potatoes, neither are we at goal weight. Some of us (like me) have accomplished some pretty amazing things yet, to look... Tue, 31 Dec 2013 02:56:50 EST Forgiving myself and having hope... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5565257 Forgiving myself: <BR> <BR> It's been 4 months since my 70.3 and there are some things I never really got over from that event. It was a huge success and I learned a lot about myself and how far I am willing to go to see things through. There were also things that went very wrong during that race, things that really caused me a real feeling of shame. Real or perceived, I felt it for a long time afterward but now, I feel like I've given myself permission to move on. <BR> <BR> Let me explain... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 00:04:13 EST So I have to ask myself why... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5560574 I have been asking myself that question alot lately. Why do I / did I push myself so hard that it has come down to this? What drove me? I have given it alot of thought and I think I have come up with an answer and it is not a comfortable one but one that I think people will relate to. I am willing to be vulnerable. <BR> <BR> The vast majority of my life growing up has always been living on the fringe. I was never one of those kids that people wanted to hang out with much less be seen with. A... Mon, 9 Dec 2013 13:28:19 EST No More Dr Google... my diagnosis... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5558052 I finally took the plunge and went to see a specialist about my foot. I wanted to get the opinion from someone who specialized in sports medicine. My left ankle has had issues right toward the end of training for the 70.3 and really got painful after my two recent half marathons. My last half marathon in October I limped the last two miles. Ok... enough is enough. <BR> <BR> I was convinced after doing some online research as well as relating to my own experience that it was nothing more than... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 00:50:24 EST Greetings from the night shift... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5554735 Hi everyone, there is a lull in the action out here and I miss my Spark-buddies. I'm trying to tap this out on my IPhone while sitting in a truck waiting for a call. So far, knock on wood, everything is running smooth, no drop and run disaster calls :) <BR> <BR> So far I've been doing fairly well on this round of nights, on 12's for the weekend then I finish up the set of 7 nights with two more 8's after this and I'm on long weekend. This is where I start setting goals for the next 21 days u... Mon, 2 Dec 2013 02:19:21 EST Could you help me spread some Spark Cheers....? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5549413 I have a dear Spark friend that has worked so hard and has come such a long way... Today, she celebrates a 70 lb weight loss and celebrated by cleaning out her closet. <BR> <BR> JPoncin <BR> <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo<BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5549205 </link> <BR> <BR> Could you help me celebrate her victory and pass on some big Spark woo hoo's with me? <BR> <BR> Thanks everyone! <BR> <BR> You Da Bestest! <BR> <BR> Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:25:20 EST Basic Kettlebell Workout http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5548703 I put together a 10 minute video where I grunt through a kettlebell workout. I was originally doing it as a way to watch my form but then said to myself "why not?" Let them see work hard, sweat, gasp, grunt or otherwise let it loose. I wanted to do it not so much as a demonstration but rather I wanted to set the example and let myself be seen wiggling and jiggling. I'm more interested in getting a good strength session in than I am worried that someone might see a moment or two of jiggle. <... Sat, 23 Nov 2013 22:10:15 EST