OLIVIANIGHT's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=OLIVIANIGHT OLIVIANIGHT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ A woman left lonely http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901226 I don't know if it's the miserable weather today, or the come-down after my best friend came to see me last night, but I feel terribly lonely today. <BR> <BR> I was hoping to go for tea with another friend but I've still not heard back from her. I've tried music and posting on here and putting a DVD on just to get some voices into the room, but this hole in my chest is not going away. <BR> <BR> It's quite a strange feeling for me. I'm an introvert; I LOVE having time to myself to just rela... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 14:30:06 EST Just relax http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5899595 Of course, as soon as I decide to kick this plateau into shape I get a virus. Turns out I'm really bad at resting when I'm ill. Yesterday I skipped my workout and phoned in sick to work (because I struggled to get out of bed), but felt guilty the whole day. <BR> <BR> Today I felt better than yesterday so I dragged myself to work because "I'm better and I CAN'T MISS TWO DAYS!" But apparently feeling better than death warmed up is not the same as being fit for work, so I got sent home early... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 17:56:44 EST Ready to bust this plateau http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5895788 I'm not sure if there is an upper time limit on plateaus, if I have sailed past that and am now in the realms of 'stagnation' or 'dead end'. <BR> <BR> Whatever you call it, my weight has not dropped below 161lbs for almost a year. You may have seen occasional 'Olivianight has lost 1lbs!' updates on my feed. But that was just losing the same couple of pounds that I kept re-gaining, and dropping back down to 161. <BR> <BR> Yes, I know muscle is heavy and I have been focusing almost entirely o... Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:41:15 EST Love me? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5891788 There's so much advice out there, you can't really escape it. <BR> <BR> 'You can never be happy with a partner until you're happy with yourself.' <BR> <BR> 'For people to truly love you, you must first love yourself.' <BR> <BR> Don't work out because you hate your body; work out because you love it.' <BR> <BR> But nobody has ever told me how. <BR> Thu, 12 Mar 2015 15:07:01 EST What a difference... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5877533 Yesterday I reached the end of Melissa Bender's 13-week bikini ready body program. <BR> <link>www.benderfitness.com/2013/02/my-fir<BR>st-bikini-competition-prep-month.html </link> <BR> <BR> I took some photos, and then stuck them next to some photos I took 3 months ago. Here they are. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/3/l436575439.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/0/l606368455.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.co... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 15:21:49 EST End of an era http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5872662 I actually, really did it! I'm FREEEE! I have hated my job for nearly 2 years and today was my last day. Ever. <BR> <BR> I got down to the car park at the end of the day and felt such a mix of emotions I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I went with cry, but luckily my best friend was there to hug me and then make me laugh when I was done crying. Honestly, I think 90% of the tears were from the realisation that I will no longer see him every weekday. <BR> <BR> I have always been quite ... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 16:49:14 EST New job http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5868799 I finally have some time for a blog! <BR> <BR> So, the mind-blowingly excellent news is that I have a new job! I have signed so many documents my signature no longer looks right, sent off every piece of ID I own, completed a medical questionnaire, and been for a drugs and alcohol test, and finally got a start date! <BR> I only have to give one week’s notice for my current job so I'll do my last day on Monday and start the new place on Tuesday! <BR> <BR> I keep thinking about getting out of ... Tue, 3 Feb 2015 16:19:42 EST Year after year (it's a long 'un!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5844844 It's happy jar time! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/1/l914167609.jpg"> <BR> <BR> 2014 was not perfect of course, but it was a million times better than some years have been (I'm looking at you, 2013!) so my happy jar was full to the top. There are far too many for me to type them all out so I will just give some of my favourites. <BR> <BR> I even split them into categories. Check me out. <BR> <BR> Things people have said: <BR> I'm very photogenic <BR> I take go... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 14:45:49 EST My best friend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5826513 I had a clear out tonight, during which I found a valentines card from the douchemonkey. I have absolutely no idea why I still have it; I went straight to rage 2 days after we broke up and (thought) I got rid of every trace of him. It's so pathetic. It's one of those cutesy generic cards, and all he's written in it is his name. <BR> <BR> I went on a rant at myself for being stupid enough to fall for that, and to stick with someone like that for so long. I shared some less insane parts of t... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 16:48:25 EST What is wrong with people? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824252 My faith in humanity is currently hanging by a microscopic thread. <BR> <BR> A couple of days ago I discovered that my ex had found his new girlfriend before he broke up with me. She didn’t say exactly when they started; she was too busy crying. Turns out nobody knew. <BR> So as well as being an arrogant, selfish, misogynist with a God-complex, he’s also a lying, cheating scumbag. <BR> <BR> The girlfriend gave him ‘a piece of her mind’ and forced him to apologise, although she doesn’t rea... Fri, 28 Nov 2014 12:09:41 EST More Whole30 results http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5796942 I just realised I didn't post my measurements for after Whole30. Here they are! <BR> <BR> Before measurements: <BR> Weight - 12 stone 1, 169 lbs <BR> Neck - 34cm <BR> Upper arm - 32.4cm <BR> Wrist - 17cm <BR> Low chest - 84.5cm <BR> Waist - 79.5cm <BR> Hips - 112cm <BR> Thigh - 65cm <BR> Calf - 41cm <BR> <BR> After measurements: <BR> Weight - 11 stone 9, 163 lbs (-6 lbs) <BR> Neck - 32.7cm (-1.3cm) <BR> Upper arm - 32cm (-0.4cm) <BR> Wrist ... Sun, 12 Oct 2014 16:49:58 EST Oh, sugar. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5794660 Confession time! <BR> Confession #1 <BR> Last night I sat down and ate a whole bag of sweets in one sitting. <BR> <BR> Confession #2 <BR> I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about it. They were the most delicious thing I have eaten in over a month, no question. <BR> <BR> I can deal with the odd nomming session like that. I've just got to make sure it doesn't keep happening on a regular basis. Wed, 8 Oct 2014 11:54:01 EST Great Scottish Run http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5792862 I ran the Great Scottish Run 10k race today, and am therefore too knackered for a full-on blog. <BR> My legs hate me. <BR> <BR> It was a fantastic atmosphere at the race, even though I was far too tired and had leaden legs before we even started. I'm getting a cold so I wasn't expecting anything time-wise, which actually made it a bit better. I did run up almost all the hills though, which I'm very proud of. Normally I avoid hills at all costs. <BR> <BR> I was just running for the sake of ... Sun, 5 Oct 2014 15:09:54 EST Sticks and stones http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5792354 <link>morethansayings.blogspot.co.uk/2013/<BR>04/sticks-and-stones-may-break-my-bone<BR>s.html </link> <BR> <BR> It seems that comment last weekend has affected me more than I realised. <BR> <BR> "You're not used to active stuff, are you?". <BR> <BR> At first I thought it was good. "I'll show you not active!" *kills workout*. <BR> <BR> But then I pushed so hard with my kettlebells that I hurt my back. I keep posting workout statuses on faceboook to prove that I've been active. I sp... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 16:56:19 EST Peanut butter http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5790547 Mm. Peanut butter is THE most amazing thing I have ever tasted. I am in heaven right now. Seriously. <BR> <BR> I was going to do weight and measurements today, but my TOM is most decidedly on the way and for the last few days I've been puffing up like a balloon. So we can all wait til that's sorted itself out and then I'll get my tape measure out. <BR> <BR> Did I mention how much I love peanut butter? Wed, 1 Oct 2014 16:06:07 EST Whole30 Day 30! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5789722 I have decided. Sensible is boring and logic is overrated: I'm bringing back peanut butter first! <BR> I heart it so much, I can't go a day longer than absolutely necessary. <BR> <BR> So I'm at the end of Whole30. Thank chocolate for that. I could go on and on at great length about it but instead I'm just going to sum it up. <BR> <BR> The mindset change never came. I will get there gradually, introducing food groups one at a time, but I AM going right back to the way I ate before. <BR> <B... Tue, 30 Sep 2014 11:51:56 EST Whole 30 Day 27, 28 and 29 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5789224 What. A. Weekend. Gosh my head's still spinning. <BR> <BR> I'm going to get the bad parts out the way first so we can all forget about them. <BR> <BR> Number 1: I have spent an entire weekend in the company of the 2 skinniest women I know. And not even skinny like I could be if I sorted my head out. They're that infuriating eat-everything-and-never-gain-a-single-pou<BR>nd type of skinny people. There there, self-confidence. There there. <BR> 2: I could not get through to them that Whole30 ... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:18:13 EST Whole30 Day 26 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787325 I can't believe I'm going to the festival tonight! It felt like years away when I booked it. I'm actually quite nervous about it. Kizomba is my weakest dance (being the newest) and I'm going to a festival full of experts who have been dancing it pretty much since they were born. Eep. But I'm going to give everything my best shot so hopefully they will appreciate that. I know that's all I want from the newbies in my salsa classes. <BR> <BR> Also can't believe I've only got 4 days of Whole30 l... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 10:55:52 EST Whole30 Day 25 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786756 I thought the last week of Whole30 would be a doddle. I thought I would be so used to it I would just sail through and find myself at the end, no worries. <BR> But it's actually turning out much harder to stick with than it was at the start. I want all of the things I'm not allowed, and since I've not seen any major results for a while my brain is beginning to ask why I'm bothering. <BR> <BR> To say I did something for a solid 30 days, that's why. So there. <BR> <BR> Although I'm away thi... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 11:38:45 EST Whole30 Day 24 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786099 I found myself all of a sudden in a spiralling bad mood. I was absolutely raging at I didn't know what. I made myself feel better by applying for some jobs. One day I will get out of this place. <BR> <BR> Salsa classes start back up today, hooray! Although over the summer break we became a lot more formal as an organisation so I'm a bit worried that the fun will have gone out of it. We will see. <BR> <BR> I'm not going to go to the salsa club tonight though. I've not really had enough sleep... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 11:40:50 EST Whole30 Day 23 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5785544 One week to go! And I still haven't had that magical mindset shift. I could not do this for the rest of my life. I miss every single thing I'm not allowed to eat. Even soy. I do get hungry between meals, shaky-hungry, and I need the 2 or 3 snacks I take to work with me every day. And I have not experienced that 'sudden, mysterious happiness' that is apparently a side effect of Whole30-ing. <BR> <BR> With only a week left I don't think it's going to happen. <BR> <BR> On the plus side, I've ... Tue, 23 Sep 2014 14:31:58 EST Whole30 Day 21 and 22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784907 Well, what a couple of days I've had. Yesterday was our yearly Freshers Salsa4Water party, for which I had (in a moment of madness) agreed to make 60 cupcakes. It should have just been a simple 5 batches of 12, but that doesn't take into account my pathetic excuse for an oven. I had to make 7 or 8 batches and use the good ones from each. I ended up with 70 cupcakes. <BR> <BR> So yesterday I spent 4 solid hours icing and decorating them. I had big plans for those cakes, but that's because 70 ... Mon, 22 Sep 2014 17:10:17 EST Whole30 Day 20 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5783595 I was right, it was kale making me feel ill. So that's one superfood I will just have to live without. I'm gutted, can you tell? <BR> <BR> I tried making some paleo spicy tuna cakes today. They are tasty but there's a bit too much citrus in there for my liking. I will definitely make them again but without the lime zest. I have eaten TONS today after going for a very long run this morning. I also walked to book club, did some grocery shopping and baked a bunch of cakes for a salsa party we'r... Sat, 20 Sep 2014 16:00:49 EST Whole30 Day 19 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5783059 So yesterday happened. But now I'm calmer I can see the small victories that I was too worked up to notice yesterday. <BR> <BR> Someone posted a really thoughtless, (I hope) unintentionally-hurtful comment on yesterday's blog, but instead of getting more upset or letting my rage out in a rant on their page I just deleted the comment and moved on. *feeling mature* <BR> <BR> I stopped for coffee after the hospital and a wee girl next to me was 10p short for what she wanted to buy. I just happ... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 15:38:39 EST Whole30 Day 18 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5782449 So, today was...not ideal. <BR> Long story short; I was booked in at a renal clinic. I expected them to go “Oh yes, now I see the scars on your kidneys you told us were there ages ago. You may go”. They didn’t. <BR> <BR> The official term is ‘chronic kidney disease’, a hideous misnomer if you ask me. They are NOT diseased, they’re just scarred from an illness I had as a toddler. Which I knew, but I didn’t know how badly. Turns out I’m running with roughly 50% kidney function. 50%. One ha... Thu, 18 Sep 2014 16:02:31 EST Whole30 Day 17 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781770 I think I'm finally narrowing down the possible cause of my upset stomach. I felt absolutely wonderful this morning, best night's sleep I've had for a while and ready for anything. Then I ate my breakfast. Well, part of my breakfast, because I suddenly felt too naff to take another mouthful. <BR> <BR> So, if it was my breakfast causing it (rather than some random event that happened to coincide with breakfast) it can only be eggs, kale, garlic or olive oil. I'm discounting eggs because I can... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 16:11:06 EST Whole 30 Day 16 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780921 I couldn't decide whether day 15 or 16 would count as the official midway point, what with weighing myself on day 1 rather than day 0. So I weighed myself on both days. They were both the same result, which actually makes me feel better about it; it wasn't just some random one-day fluctuation of the scale. <BR> <BR> Start weight: 12 stone 1, 169 lbs <BR> Halfway weight: 11 stone 5 (and a half), 159.5 lbs <BR> <BR> Over half a stone gone since I started! I know a LOT of that will be water w... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:45:37 EST Whole30 Day 15 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780285 I am about one more non-meal away from giving up on this whole stupid thing. <BR> Once again I feel terrible today, even more terrible than I felt when I first got back from NZ which is the whole reason I started this! If there weren't the possibility that the weekend messed me up like this, I would have given up and eaten some cake already. I'm halfway through; I'm fairly sure I'm supposed to be over the 'worse before it gets better' stage. <BR> <BR> And rant over. So check it out, I'm hal... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 11:38:15 EST Whole30 Day 13 and 14 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5779769 If I've lost weight this weekend it's from starvation. I told Mum at the beginning of the week that basically all I can eat is meat, veg and eggs. I get home and there are 3 eggs, half a pack of bacon, a bag of carrots and a pack of tomatoes in the fridge, to last me the whole weekend. And I don't like tomatoes. I brought in some asparagus and it's a good job I did. <BR> <BR> Then my cousin invited me over to her house at lunch time and I (not unreasonably, I don't think) expected her to giv... Sun, 14 Sep 2014 16:43:57 EST Whole 30 Day 11 and 12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5778557 I really don't mean to keep posting two days at once, I've just had the busiest week so far this year. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I felt absolutely awful. I woke up and had such an upset stomach, it felt like there was a boulder sitting in there. The thought of eating anything made it worse, but once I forced myself to eat a wee bit I managed to keep it down. Then there were phases throughout the day when I felt really weak, shaky and light-headed. And I have absolutely no idea what caused it. Ther... Fri, 12 Sep 2014 11:38:52 EST Whole 30 Day 9 and 10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777233 Day 10 isn't quite finished yet, but I've got a salsa rehearsal straight after work and a meal out straight after that. And then I have to run home and write an article that should have been sent off this morning. I am far too busy sometimes. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I felt like I was really struggling with my kettlebells, but then I hit the stopwatch and I'd beaten my time. So there's that. I went for my run this morning and it was the slowest I've been for over a year, but that's partly due to ... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 11:45:57 EST Whole 30 Day 7 and 8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5776027 Hey hey, look who's made it past the first week! <BR> <BR> I discovered that my hunger level is directly related to my stress level. I was fine all weekend, eating at meal times and feeling okay until the next meal. But today, about half an hour after getting into work, I was starving. And even after eating my snacks and some of my lunch I was still belly-rumbling hungry. Stress is bad, people!! <BR> <BR> This morning I tried the pork and kale recipe with balsamic vinegar instead of lemon j... Mon, 8 Sep 2014 17:35:36 EST Whole 30 Day 6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5774678 Look at that, I've nearly made it to a whole week! A Whole30 week, to be precise. <BR> <BR> Today I discovered the joy of lemon juice. I've known about it being used in cooking for a long time, but I've never tried it before because I can't stand lemons. My flatmate drinks lemon water, she made me try it once and I spat it straight back out. Then had to have a cup of strong tea to make the taste go away. But tonight was kale for dinner, and kale NEEDS something. Trust me, I've tried eating ... Sat, 6 Sep 2014 16:22:23 EST Whole 30 Day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5774097 Ooft these sugar cravings. Today I caught myself thinking 'I want cake and marshmallows and chocolate and biscuits and doughnuts and...' that's where I made myself stop. Honestly, the way my body is reacting you'd think I ate cake with a side order of chocolate every single day before Whole30. I really didn't. I'm hoping there's a day coming soon when I will be able to post a blog that doesn't mention sugar cravings at all! <BR> <BR> I underestimated how much freg I would need for a week so... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 16:22:16 EST Whole 30 day 3 and 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5773478 No blog yesterday, as I left the flat just after 8 in the morning and didn't get back til 2 the next morning. Ooft what a night. <BR> Big news - I successfully negotiated my first meal out! So proud of myself, and also glad that I can still go out for food with my salsa friends. <BR> <BR> Honestly, I'm so tired the two days are sort of merging into one another but I'm going to try my best to remember. <BR> <BR> I figured out what went wrong with my breakfast the other day. Turns out I don... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 17:29:21 EST Whole30 Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5772092 I reeeaally hope these sugar cravings will go away at some point. So far I have resisted the temptation *proud!* <BR> <BR> Today I have been absolutely starving, belly-rumbling hungry all day. Mainly because of breakfast; I made roast veggies, scrambled eggs and salmon for myself, and I was really looking forward to it. But then I got less than halfway through and couldn't face the thought of another mouthful. I stuck it in a tub in the fridge, in the hope that at some point I will change my... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 18:49:15 EST Whole30 Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5771071 Good grief my body is rebelling. It wants sugar and it wants it now. <BR> NOW, I TELLS YOU!! <BR> So far I've managed to resist the urge, even though I made some cakes I researched in New Zealand and brought them into work today. They are sitting there calling my name, so I might take them upstairs for all the fieldworkers to nom. <BR> <BR> Tonight I think will be a struggle. There's no extra-curricular activity, which leaves me with a solid 4 hours of nothing to do except think about how ... Mon, 1 Sep 2014 11:06:31 EST Whole30 Day 0 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5770589 It all kicks off tomorrow, and today was preparation day. <BR> <BR> I've roasted a bucketload of veggies and got my slow cooker making some soup. Butternut squash today and I'll set carrot and coriander going tomorrow, ready for when I get home. So basically for all my meals I just have to whack some meat on the grill and I'm good! <BR> <BR> Going into this I'm actually a bit nervous. There are an awful lot of 'do's and 'don't's to remember. But it's only for 30 days and hopefully it'll m... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 16:47:15 EST I'm doing it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5770028 I'm still a wee bit jet-lagged, and have a cracking headache, so this will probably be two thirds gibberish. But I just want to get it out there before I change my mind. So here we go: <BR> <BR> I am going to do Whole30! <BR> <BR> Starting Monday, as i reckon the first day of the month on the first day of the week was just made for starting something new. Plus Mum and Dad get back from NZ tomorrow and will want to take me out for dinner. <BR> <BR> I will try to blog about it every day, mos... Sat, 30 Aug 2014 16:20:11 EST Wow! I feel good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715730 Feeling unexpectedly sexy today. No idea why, but I'll take it! <BR> Can't wait for salsa later today :D Wed, 11 Jun 2014 11:41:22 EST Poetry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715122 I just spent over 2 hours playing never-ending story with poetry videos on youtube. 'How to love your introvert' is my particular favourite <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfh_<BR>mRA5B6A </link> <BR> <BR> Why could we not study poetry like this at high school? I have spent 10 years of my life thinking I hated it! <BR> <BR> Try new things people; you might just find something worth spending 2 hours of your time on. Tue, 10 Jun 2014 16:45:51 EST New friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5714426 So I went to the party last night. It was a fairly civilised 'food party' where everyone took something edible and then we all sat down at the table and ate together. And then we ended up singing along to Disney songs, I taught some black guys how to dance azonto, and oh yeah, I accidentally made friends with the ex's new girlfriend. <BR> <BR> For the record, I feel the need to point out that I'm not the crazy "YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!" ex. She and I were not friends first of all because I didn'... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 18:59:21 EST Home http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713414 I am feeling very down today. It's probably just because I'm so tired after travelling to mum and dad's and back again, but that doesn't stop me feeling it. <BR> One of my friends is having a party tonight and I don't really want to go, but there's a part of me that is terrified of being left out. It jabs me when people go "do you remember when...?" and I have to say "no, I wasn't there". I don't want to go but I don't want to be left out, and I really don't know what I will do. Sun, 8 Jun 2014 11:56:23 EST 90 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712689 This weekend I'm down at my mum and dad's because today is my great Aunty's 90th birthday. She is, without a doubt, my biggest idol. If I turn out even half like my Aunty Betty then I will be happy. <BR> <BR> First of all, SHE'S 90!! I'm past the point where that seems unfathomably ancient, but old enough to know that it's an impressive age to reach. Not everybody makes it that far. <BR> <BR> Then there's the fact that she is fiercely independent, practical and capable. Once, my Dad went ro... Sat, 7 Jun 2014 11:25:54 EST Watching over me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5711785 This morning I know I was being looked after. While faffing around with a jar of honey, an egg, a smoothie and a pan of boiling water (don't ask) my clumsiness took over. A series of events ensued, which ended with the pan tipping over and pouring the water towards me. I don't know exactly what happened, there were too many things to focus on, I just know that when the steam cleared there was a pool of hot water on the floor and nothing but a splash of smoothie on me. <BR> Good thing God's ... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 03:20:11 EST Swimming! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5685078 Finally, over 2 years after they told me it would open, a swimming pool has opened 2 minutes from my flat! I went tonight and I am so out of shape, but that will soon change. <BR> Man, I love swimming. Thu, 1 May 2014 15:28:48 EST Pork chop http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5679605 http://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called-him<BR>-pork-chop-he-took-that-pain-with-him-<BR>and-then-cooked-it-into?g=2&c=ufb2 <BR> <BR> I came across this about a week ago, and I have watched it almost every day since. <BR> It's heavy, it often makes me cry, and it rubs raw a part of me that I thought I had sealed over for good. But it's worth it. Thu, 24 Apr 2014 15:46:57 EST Easter breakfast http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5676118 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/8/l788768063.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Looks tasty, doesn't it? But I'm phenomenally disappointed to discover that I don't actually like star fruit. It doesn't taste as pretty as it looks! Sun, 20 Apr 2014 04:17:03 EST Beautiful (and strong) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5670550 My Aunty sent me a photo from my belly dance class at Girl's camp last August. And here it is: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1874454668.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Now, my first reaction was EWW! SHINY!!! <BR> But then I looked again. At that moment I had around 15 girls and 10 women staring at me (one of the things I hate most), but I'm still smiling, and my posture is really open. I look like a confident person. <BR> <BR> On even closer inspection I can see some of hard k... Sat, 12 Apr 2014 14:30:27 EST Why I will never have a six pack http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5650072 I love strength training. Swinging kettlebells around is one of my favourite forms of exercise, and once I get a set of dumbbells in my hands I'm away. But I hate training my core. If I were only allowed to have peanut butter after 5 minutes of core work, I would most likely never eat it again. <BR> I've tried sit-ups, crunches, ab wheels, planks, pilates, leg raises..you name it. And I hate every single one of them. A blogilates video actually reduced me to tears not once, but twice. <BR>... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 15:19:25 EST