OHMEMEME's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=OHMEMEME OHMEMEME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Beck - revisiting Hunger is not an emergency... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6001912 As I was replying to a Beck blog my reply practically became a blog of my own. <BR> <BR> I used to be a "dieting snacker" with planned meals and snacks at set times. I would tell people I was like a newborn baby and HAD to eat every 2-3 hours. I think it was all the hype and rave I read about preventing hunger and leveling blood sugar to lose weight and it did work in losing weight. But I found that I was always preoccupied with the thought of eating to stave off hunger which would eventuall... Tue, 22 Sep 2015 08:08:27 EST Chap 4 beck advantages http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986769 <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo<BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5896968 </link> <BR> <BR> I revisited my advantages a couple of months ago after reading a blog from beck blue and created the blog linked above. <BR> This advice and reflection really helped when I was making a decision about adjusting my goal weight and reattacking some emotional eating. I had some great success for several months. But had a very rough patch with some regain lately. Hence, beck pink revisited. Bu... Sat, 29 Aug 2015 09:51:03 EST Beck Pink Chap 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985297 Think like a thin person...so I start to analyze my sister who very much unlike me has never had weight issues or problems with food...or so I think. But according to Beck, she probably does monitor what she eats. Correct. I have watched and learned from her. She uses many of the techniques suggested here and the numerous others places I've read. She eats small portions, she used to devour her food but I notice now she puts her fork down several times..., she is not interested in where or whe... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 17:56:29 EST Beck Pink Chap 1 & 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984328 Key points that ring true to me: <BR> <BR> <BR> Chap 1 <BR> To lose weight and keep it off: <BR> -deal with disappointment (that's first with life and also with food) Learn to deal with emotions and fight off the self pity. Yes, I deserve better. Grieve it and move on. When stuck in it, learn to cope without using food to medicate and comfort.) <BR> -cope with hunger and cravings. Fight the sabotaging thought of "but I deserve this because it makes me feel good" <BR> -eliminate emotional ea... Tue, 25 Aug 2015 07:43:21 EST Reflections on reevaluating goals and reasons... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5896968 Reflections on reevaluating goals and reasons... <BR> <BR> Almost four years into this journey of loosing weight and nearly 3 of those maintaining within 15 pounds of goal I have committed to more weight loss and lower goal of 170. Why 170? I want to have less body fat for one thing. I am somewhat happy with size and my clothes fit at 180 but it keeps me in constant struggle about gaining. Part of Dr. Judith Beck's Strategies is to revisit your advantage cards and think about "why" these are... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 11:57:28 EST Aha...still learning...you have to be ready...Beck revisited... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5889215 I am learning: <BR> It takes "some rebellion" to use as strength to fight against things that do not serve us for the better so it can be a positive if headed in the right direction. <BR> It takes some pride and even vanity to motivate me not only to look my best but to feel my best, to be confident. <BR> <BR> I am rethinking some strategies from Beck Diet Solution by Dr. Judith Beck...my first attempts a few months ago triggered some negative emotions of rebellion and stubbornness not want... Sun, 8 Mar 2015 12:49:25 EST Figuring things out... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879845 Today's Note: <BR> I am back in maintence range post- holiday and have regrouped to drop a few pounds. I am also on Day 14 of being binge free. I've been consistent not dieting but holding steady at my new norm. But this is not second nature to me. This is consistent work and focus especially weekends, eating out, and social events. <BR> <BR> Today is one of those hard days for hard choices. I am going to a bridal shower. So I am trying to psyche myself into proper action. <BR> <BR> I wi... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 10:25:46 EST Back on top of the hill... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5875553 Wheww! Back in maintenance range. Still not really official till I hold it a couple of weeks but the trend is headed there. Thinking positively. I feel like I am on top of the hill! <BR> <BR> Still reading and referencing Beck Diet Solution and incorporating ideas. Not strictly following the protocol but the basis of the ideas keep me in check and give me strategies to implement. <BR> <BR> I so enjoy following other Beckers...keep it up girls! Watermellen, Slenerella, Onekidsmom, Kanoe, Ga... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 10:12:11 EST Back to Battle... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5861551 183.8 &#128541; 8 pounds over goal...3 lbs over top of range, 13 lbs from where I should be. <BR> I need to become a weekend warrior. Or do I need a psychotherapist?!?! <BR> I am going back to battle with myself...my mindset. <BR> I just cannot let go and let this process work for me. I stay on track and in range for most weeks but weekends and eating episodes are killing me. I want to stop the upward trend. I thought I had my mind set to do so. I have a rather small 10-13 lbs to lose. I t... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 11:33:07 EST Opinions? Beck Diet Solution http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5804416 BECK DIET SOLUTION <BR> Day 1 - Record advantages of Losing weight - response cards - put those on my phone for easy reference and also use my Spark goal board. I have done something similar in the past. <BR> Day 2 - Pick 2 reasonable diet plans - calorie counting low carb using Spark tracker and No S. This has been in place for over 3 yrs <BR> <BR> Day 3 - Eat Sitting Down <BR> Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! This is a hard one for me. I eat breakfast standing on duty 2 days a week and usually have my 10... Sat, 25 Oct 2014 09:31:52 EST October check in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5798926 This is me checking in with myself and any Spark friend who checks in. Thanks to all who do. Support here keeps me going. <BR> <BR> <em>29</em> Tongue in cheek...I am up a few pounds, like 4 over the top of my range so that's an increase from last blog in which I was determined to stop the upswing...&#128532; <BR> I took a ride on that miserable emotional roller coaster I sometimes encounter. &#128537; <BR> But I am still okay and not giving up on making better choices. But it is hard to ... Wed, 15 Oct 2014 21:31:22 EST Point of No Return...balancing the scale http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752803 DAILY WEIGH IN = 180.6 <BR> <BR> Point of no return! Allowed the climb up to high maintenance range but have now gone over the top. It must stop here. Officially back to being overweight. I am in control. July was celebratory I might say. Free and independent summer month. Hmmm, what is it that I preached to my children - (with freedom comes responsibility!) Enjoyed but it is over. August brings a new routine. Back to work at school and embracing structure and scheduling. Hard to admit but ... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 09:56:14 EST Maintenance Insights...coming to terms http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5750450 While I am still within 5 pounds of my maintenance range I am struggling internally. I thought my summer(off from my teaching job) would at least bring maintenance, but it looks like a trend totaling a +5 lb gain...I think I could have been happy with even that, but I am unhappy about my inconstancies of splurges, treats, binges, emotional eating episodes... If I had been consistent within range or even used well-planned, off-regimen ideas I would be happy with myself teetering from the low e... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:31:12 EST Instilling Core Beliefs for Maintenance...positive self talk http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5714211 Instilling Core Beliefs for Maintenance <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Hi there! Felt inclined to share a few more ideas/tips... <BR> The slogan/mantra I mentioned about controlling emotional eating with logical thinking, I think comes from Steve Seibold's Fatloser free ebook. These are a few core beliefs that I use on my Spark goal board on the Start page. I really like that new feature to help prepare myself for the day and instill the positive self talk. <BR> <BR> Here's a few I got from Spar... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 12:45:48 EST It's Summertime...! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708812 Summer is usually a good healthy season for me. I am a school teacher/librarian so am off of work for 10 weeks. WOOHOO! <BR> <BR> I use my summers to rest and rejuvenate MYSELF. I still wake pretty early and just sit with my coffee, my thoughts & prayers, and my iPad after DH goes off to work. I like exercising at a reasonable 8:30 am with my retired (so jealous of her) sister. <BR> <BR> The low stress level amazingly changes my eating habits. However, daylight hours are so long I have to ... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 10:27:49 EST I won this battle...today. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690094 Fighting, Fighting, Fighting! Hungry all afternoon. Moody! Emotional! Not feeling full at all. Top range and maybe...over...later...I did it! Or should I say I didn't! I didn't eat anything else and stayed in range. Tomorrow is another day! And I can eat again...now was that sooo bad? <BR> <BR> Hunger is a means to weightloss not a punishment or deprivation. Wed, 7 May 2014 21:55:03 EST Happy ending of 12 Week Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5657397 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1762600209.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I took on a 12 week weightloss challenge at my local ladies fitness club and WON! ...in more ways than one. <BR> <BR> It all started so simply with 5 bucks and set your own goal which I did at losing 15 lbs in 12 weeks. Thought okay so I get my $5 back if I meet my goal so how big could the overall pot be without knowing how many girls would join??? Pay $1 for each pound gained per week and $5 if you miss a weigh... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 22:47:56 EST Sweet emptiness...and cheesecake fiasco... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655771 As I was running errands after work today I noticed a "sweet emptiness" in my tummy. It was the feeling of just a little hunger possibly and/or maybe that little emotional hunger of the end of a stressful day at work that I chose not to immediately satisfy. It was a pleasant feeling! <BR> <BR> I am going for my final weigh in of my 12 week challenge this week so that extra motivation to keep things in check is a motivator. <BR> <BR> I don't like to exercise with food in my stomach so I hav... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 22:48:56 EST NSV...with an SV...update week 11... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5651944 <em>9</em> <BR> I am on a "new year" roll. Week 11 I have a -1.5 lb loss = 14 lbs for 2014. That's a scale victory! <BR> <BR> But the real victory...the NSV is that looking back at diary entries shows that this is the first time in almost three years that I am at this "place," showing a losing trend in the early months of the year. I am usually battling during this season fighting off till I have more time during the late spring and summer to plan, track, exercise more. I get very stresse... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 22:08:42 EST Update for week #10 of new year challenge... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5648094 <em>9</em> things are going very well. I just logged in a -1.5 lbs for week ten of my twelve week challenge at my fitness club. That's -12 lbs for my new year 2014. I am really excited about the consistent loss. Only had a gain one week. Like week 3 or 4. My mini goal is 3lbs away = 177 for the final weigh in that happens in two weeks. <BR> <BR> But the journey doesn't end there...I still want to finally achieve my original goal of 175 that I set nearly 3 years ago. I have come so close p... Fri, 14 Mar 2014 23:58:54 EST Moving forward... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5641677 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1967450247.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I maintain my weight with healthy food choices and portions. <BR> <BR> I track my food to check appropriate calories for maintaining my weight. <BR> <BR> <BR> I hold off on instant satisfaction for gratification of savoring my next meal. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/3/l937453112.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I am grateful than I now have 10 lbs to lose rather than 50! <BR> <BR> I want to f... Thu, 6 Mar 2014 21:24:43 EST I will do this...! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5628932 <em>104</em> I feel like I am so doing this! <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> Eating logically and strategically. <BR> Delaying instant satisfaction and thinking through it for later gratification. <BR> Using the emotions for motivation. <BR> Diligently planning and tracking. <BR> Getting in some treats without overindulging...staying near top of range. <BR> Getting a little hungry but holding at top of range?!?! <BR> Using my daily motivation board for mantras that instill core beliefs a... Thu, 20 Feb 2014 07:14:42 EST On a roll...NSV AND SV http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5623487 The new year is going good for healthy eating, regular exercise, weightloss, and mental toughness about all of it. It feels good to make wise choices. I feel in control and confident. I am not richer, more famous, younger, nor do I look much different but I FEEL so much better about it all. <BR> <BR> I weighed in today for a little challange at a local ladies fitness club and have lost 8 lbs this new year. We have 6 more weeks to go and I hope to drop another 5. That'll take off all of the ... Thu, 13 Feb 2014 21:43:41 EST Snow in Louisiana is no excuse...Week 3 update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5610203 Snow in Louisiana is no excuse... <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1001891893.jpg"> <BR> Off of school (3days)again due to weather (ice and snow in Louisiana!) but the sun is shining and ice is melting. <BR> <BR> Week 3 of new beginning is feeling bleak. <BR> Snowed in for two days...and busted on day 2 on choc popcorn and just too much food. Managed to control it day one but...angry, disappointed, but moving on. <BR> <BR> I must remember if there is a gain then I must su... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 12:17:37 EST Fat Loser... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5604478 Reflecting on tough lessons learned from fatloser.com free ebook... <BR> <BR> Being an emotional eater the "critical thinking" component sounds like a useful tool. <BR> <BR> Seibold analyzes positive, negative, and critical thinking strategies. <BR> He says that both positive and negative thinking can serve us positively and not. <BR> I tend to be a positive thinker and therefore, mostly guided by emotion. That is supportive of relationships and overall positive well being, but it also l... Fri, 24 Jan 2014 14:15:15 EST NSV Report http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5591661 My post holiday reboot is going really good. I call this first week back on track an NSV because I stayed within my limits while still enjoying "social eating." Thursday sushi night with coworkers, Friday night out to eat with out of town relatives and Sat date night with movie and restaurant with DH! I also squeezed in two weekend walks in addition to my regular exercise days! It feels so good to know that I CAN DO THIS! And not only do it but be happy and confident that I made wise choices,... Sun, 12 Jan 2014 21:11:24 EST Gotta want it...(before & after pics) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5583610 Asking myself how bad I really want this??? Meeting my goal? Maintaining? <BR> <BR> I've been at this for 2 1/2 yrs now, keeping off 35-40 lbs of the 50 I've lost but I still have not ever reached my goal weight which is very reasonable even almost too high. But worse than not reaching goal is the inconsistency of the last year...as stated by Tinajane76 <BR> "Although I was more or less maintaining, I was basically still overdoing it at certain times of the year (vacations and holida... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 21:55:45 EST A new year, a new decade for ME @ 50! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5579347 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1012421428.jpg"> <BR> This is me now! <BR> <BR> My birthday, Dec 22nd (I hit the big 50!),so starting a new year has triple meaning for me! I am glad to say that this year, along with the last 2 yrs, has been an inner celebration because of my weightloss and maintenance. I still don't consider myself a maintainer quite yet because I have not hit my initial goal, and I battle everyday to lose a few pounds I put back on. But, I have kept most... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 11:55:58 EST Emotional eating... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5454022 Back to school eating was as emotional as predicted and beyond...so off kilter...hungry ALL morning and starving even with morning snack! I ate a good breakfast of egg and whole wheat toast. i brought a protein meal bar for a late morning snack and had it by 9 a.m. watching the clock at 10:30 waiting for a chance to eat again! All summer long i had to make myself eat something before 11 so i could call it breakfast. So at 11:25 i Wolfed down prepared salad while driving around deciding if I c... Tue, 13 Aug 2013 13:22:52 EST Two years later... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5447027 Today I did my official weigh in for the week/month. <BR> <BR> <em>104</em> lost 3.5 lbs = 179.5 lbs August 2013 <BR> <BR> <em>100</em> one year ago August 2012 185lbs <BR> <BR> <em>213</em> two years ago August 2011 213.5 <BR> <BR> I have kept track of my weigh-ins on my Spark and continually go back to see the trends... <BR> <BR> It has been a bumpy road and I am still navigating some dangerous territories but can say that my journey has been successful! <em>224</em> <B... Tue, 6 Aug 2013 23:00:35 EST Approaching Two-Year Sparkversary.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5400275 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/2/l625975623.jpg"> <BR> <BR> This Spark motivation slogan sums it up pretty good! <BR> 2 years of Sparking and now calling my own success because though I have not yet fully attained my original goal, I have maintained a 40 lb weight loss for over a year. I still Spark, track nutrition, blog, read up and check in with Spark friends and teams because this journey is not over. I work to continue making healthy choices that promote weightloss, ma... Mon, 24 Jun 2013 13:41:46 EST New pic I can post with self acceptance... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5354505 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l489389773.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I can finally take a pic and feel comfortable sharing. This is me on the left with my daughter, Michelle, May 2013 graduating college with a doctorate in pharmacy. I am so very proud of her! <BR> <BR> I have been on this weight-loss, maintenance, gain a few/lose a few for almost two years now. I am now 6lbs from my goal weight. I am planning and working on making this a lifetime commitment to a heathy lifestyle t... Sun, 12 May 2013 22:54:52 EST Positive weeks ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5329613 I have been working out a few kinks with my plan...let me see if I kind find a few words to focus on: reboot, re-establish, reset, renew, re-apply. I guess those will work. I am staying away from back-sliding, starting over, rebounding, yo-yoing. Those are kinda negative and when I think clearly and optimistically they really don't describe the place I am in. In the past they most certainly did, but this time I just never quit or gave up. I took breaks, rested, refocused, reassessed.... And s... Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:52:18 EST Thinking out loud... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5325739 Looking back at tracking nutrition notes on thoughts and feelings about eating identifying patterns by the month and PMS cycling. Sooo....ok....I feel a little bloated, sleepy...but have been in control for two weeks losing 2.5 lbs. as I look back at my log this is the exact time that I fell to the binge and stopped tracking for two weeks. Coincidence? PMS? Excuses? <BR> <BR> I am trying so hard to drop my 10lb winter coat! I look back at tracking on my Sparkpage and stand in awe of myself.... Tue, 16 Apr 2013 21:56:06 EST Trying to regain momentum... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5284515 The struggle continues. The difference is I know I can do it. I believe! <BR> <BR> I am recognizing why I slip up and sometimes fall. I wish I could wish away the extra pounds put on the last few months but know that's not possible. Sooo...I keep tracking and making healthy choices more often than not. I look back at logs and blogs and read about successes and struggles of others to keep myself from denial, traps, hard times. I do still get really discouraged and frustrated that the weight ... Tue, 12 Mar 2013 22:04:19 EST Monthly weigh in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5265279 This was a roller coaster month with the scale! The more I tried to focus, regroup, rededicate, hit it hard, etc...including weighing weekly the crazier it got. 184, 188, 192, 188, 185. But today was the official for the month - 185lbs. No gain...ahhhh. Not sure of the plan for next month?!?! Hopefully just being reasonable. I do know that emotional eating is the biggest culprit and as hard as I try and as much as I have learned and even succeeded, I DO NOT HAVE THIS MASTERED! BUT, I am stil... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 21:38:17 EST Making it real... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5258044 Sharing entries from my personal notes to myself on my food tracker for anyone who happens by and needs to see real struggles BUT still say, hell yes, I am successful. When I get discouraged I check back on my Sparkpage to see the ups and downs I've been through for the last year and a half then OWN the lbs I have kept off and refute the ones I gain by starting over again and again. <BR> Date & Calories <BR> My Nutrition Notes <BR> 1/21/13 <BR> 1,252 Calories Binge is over! Started period Sa... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 21:56:25 EST Monthly weigh-in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5229421 Up a pound from Jan 1. Up too many pounds for comfort. Hate moving the ticker in the wrong direction. Hard weightloss lessons still to learn. Tue, 29 Jan 2013 21:54:40 EST Recognizing old patterns... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5217664 It happens every now and again. Allowing the free for all eat whatever. Plunging into the binge of more, more, more. Anger, guilt, shame, blame! PMS emotional eating... <BR> <BR> What have I learned? Maybe to recognize what is happening. Acknowledging that it is my problem. <BR> <BR> And I so do not want to slip back to the old ways because with it comes more depression and weight gain. Or is it weight gain then depression? I admit to myself that I am have some very personal internal strug... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 21:12:28 EST Aha...yada yada yada...venting... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5199505 I guess this is more of a journal entry than a blog...need to put my thoughts down... <BR> <BR> "Aha" I am doing yoga because it is what I LIKE and feels sooo good. I have not quite convinced myself that it is "real" exercise but I am coming around somewhat since I asked my instructor to give me a little bit more. But the part of the aha is that today I turned into McDonalds for an afternoon mocha latte because I was out and about and felt "deserving" after all this is just for me. But I sto... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 21:18:51 EST Pat on the back... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5195862 Okay so I am feeling some guilt of unhealthy choices the last few days! <BR> <BR> BUT you know what? 99% of the time I choose unsweetened tea over diet soda even when I give myself permission to choose. I just don't like the way the diet soda makes me feel anymore. Now don't get me wrong there is that 1% on occasion that I want it and only it and I drink it. But it has been a year and a half that I have broken the diet drink habit! <BR> <BR> I was hungry today after my walk and was having a... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 21:36:14 EST Self check... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5187835 I MADE myself get on the scale for the post holiday pig out! Well, up 6 lbs. <BR> <BR> As with most, the new year brings the need for self reflection so I have gone back to my weigh in posts on my Sparkpage and my old blogs from a year ago. I still feel and remember the sentiments but also realize the difference I have made in my body. SUCCESS!?!? Yes, I am 6 lbs up from the holidays but still 5 lbs less than this same time last year! How? I feel the year has been such a roller coaster of h... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 09:50:47 EST Making it public for myself... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5178619 Goal setting has not been one of my strengths and feels pressured and unnatural to me so I am moving out of my comfort zone with this post. Lol <BR> <BR> I have been working at this consistently for 19 months. I have written a few things down, many of which I have done consistently and others have not. I still carry some fear of failure if I don't meet those goals so I am constantly battling the "perfectionism" syndrome or maybe it's that old record of "if you don't try, you won't fail" thin... Fri, 28 Dec 2012 10:10:30 EST Monthly weigh in and other stuff... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5157482 Did lose 1 more lb this month which is still my goal....maintain or slow loss. Deep down I wish it would be more but I am trying to stay real...my clothes feel great...but I know I could be just a little lighter...Again trying to live life so that I can manage and MAINTAIN what I have achieved. I do not want to ever go back to being that fat and unhappy person. Life circumstances may make me unhappy but I can control how fat I am. I am scared to death to gain but I know that I must find the r... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 20:15:57 EST Planning for maintainance ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5130330 I am getting close to goal. When I started this journey a year and a half ago, I intended it to be different this time. Well it has been different and has not always, rather hardly ever gone according to plan. BUT that does not mean that making or having a plan has not been successful - oxymoron. So the same with maintainance... I have been searching and studying all the info I can get on this topic and found some inspiring, motivating, and some discouraging info...but all to be considered. T... Sat, 10 Nov 2012 08:51:46 EST Monthly weigh-in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5118342 <em>224</em> Down 2 lbs this month and hit the 170's. 179lbs that is 50 lbs down. Better than that...I have been at this for a year and a half with soooo many ups and downs and all arounds but I AM DOING THIS! I am now only 4 lbs from original goal. Thinking about how I will get there and what strategies and goals to set for the holidays???? I just so do not want to backslide and live in that constant fear. So I guess I really need to focus on conquering that fear and weightloss and mainta... Tue, 30 Oct 2012 20:27:29 EST October's weigh-in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5085493 1 pound gone in October! I so dreaded this weigh in because the two weeks prior were just not good for me. I also knew that last year September was a bad month stress, scale and weightwise. BUT...despite those facts, i managed to lose a pound. I have not owned it just yet because I still feel bloated and stressed BUT... When I looked back at my log on my Sparkpage I found that I am 18lbs less than the same time last year. WHAT!?!? Oh the mind can be so cruel sometimes. Why do we allow these t... Wed, 3 Oct 2012 16:58:28 EST Losing steam but not heart... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5080071 I knew that going back to work teaching anew school year would bring added stress which for me means emotional eating. Big changes in my job have just compounded that problem. As much as I tried to prepare myself I am still overwhelmed. Looking back to last year, September was not a good time with the scales. I do my monthly weigh in in a few days and am dreading it. I Tell myself I will be happy with any loss and even content with maintenance but when I think about how hard I have struggled ... Sun, 30 Sep 2012 00:17:54 EST Did it, done, movin on... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5060321 Saw it coming and tried to be reasonable but fell somewhat. But not all out! I will mark that as success and move on... Ate the leftover stew within SOME reason for lunch. Revisited the afternoon candy bar and chose Route 44 diet DP. Broke at 5 fudge round, corn chips, choc chips with almonds, more corn chips. Out to eat eggplant pirogue. Restaurant did me a favor with portion size. Full out fat and serving of blue cheese dressing. Put off dessert at home and had Andes choc mint. Okay I am do... Sat, 15 Sep 2012 11:50:08 EST Monthly weigh-in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5044605 A scale victory! Down 3 lbs from last month. Of course, I wanted a loss but had resigned myself to accepting just maintainance. I have been steadily tracking my nutrition and exercising consistently. However, most days I was at the top end of calorie range and often times a little over. But I have learned that about my body and my "self." I must have a pretty good metabolism because I require and demand high volume when I eat, even when it's not emotional eating. I thought I was interested in... Tue, 4 Sep 2012 21:06:27 EST