NUTSFORFOOD's SparkPeople Blog NUTSFORFOOD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Frustration I don't want to make a nuicance of myself by blogging too often, but it seems to help to get my thoughts penned down at least once a day. <BR> <BR> Currently I feel like munching my heart out - so frustrated I can barely hold it! <BR> <BR> Just sooo many challenges coming my way! My middle kid is a complete scatterbrain and its a daily fight to get her to clean her room, brush her hair, heck even bath time is a struggle! Coz on her way to the bathroom, she sees something else she wants to... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 12:55:14 EST I shopped today - and survived! I know the title sounds like a weird statement to make, but my body has grown so weak that even half an hour of shopping would leave my feet aching horribly by the time I come home and leave me debilitated for a few days. I am you could say, shocked, ashamed and frustrated that I've slipped that far! <BR> <BR> But today I didn't have much of a choice. My sister gave me some very generous shopping vouchers at a prestigeous clothing shop, and with my job starting again tomorrow, and a year o... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 13:41:17 EST Time to shift focus :D All right, that's quite enough! <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Each New Year-past I'd spend reminiscing about lost opportunities, what I didn't achieve, which goals I didn't reach, how my age is advancing and I'm not close to a goal and blah blah blah <BR> <BR> NO MORE! <BR> <BR> A wise person once said that you cannot expect a different outcome if you don't change the input. <BR> <BR> So THIS New Year's Day I'm changing my focus, changing my perspective. Instead of looking at failures, I'm g... Mon, 31 Dec 2012 20:47:36 EST Lets try again... yet again Story of my life. i get excited and all swept up with motivation, only to frizzle out after a few weeks... and slipping and sliding back even further than I've been. <BR> <BR> Given, the past two years has not been easy. We had a change of management at the school I worked at (yes, worked), that made my life a living hell. For quite a few reasons. His wife terrorised me (yes the headmaster employed his wife at the same school) and hated my guts (as if I had any). It took a helluva lot o... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 10:19:13 EST Sorry for taking so long but.. ...I've had a most interesting journey of self discovery the past year. First of all, I am rediscovering my passions - things I love to do, and in that, I am on the road to accessing the dreams I thought were long dead and buried. <BR> <BR> Also, after my discoveries of what made me tick, that I was a fully fledged emotional eater, I had to switch off from counting calories and watching what I eat for a while. It has been most rewarding. Not in terms of weight, but so much deeper. <BR> <... Wed, 3 Aug 2011 15:18:20 EST Some updates Hi there all my sparkfriends <BR> <BR> Hope you had a blessed christmas and always kept in mind what truely important is... not the gifts, food or the glitz, but the love for each other, as Christ taught us. <BR> <BR> This said, I know not everyone had the oppertunity to share this time with friends and family, but I do hope and pray that in this coming year you will experience His Love as never before, and even when alone, tat you might never be lonely. <BR> <BR> There is something else I... Sun, 26 Dec 2010 04:06:51 EST Interesting source of motivation. This is weird. I actually was looking for a new picture to put on my facebook profile when I realised: 1 - there's not a lot of pictures of me at all recently and 2 - whenever I do find a photo, I'm always inactive. <BR> <BR> I'm not talking standing and smiling, I mean really inactive, in a chair, leaning on one arm rest most of the times. <BR> <BR> Then it hit me. I became worse than a couch potato. My lifestyle is such that I do the minimum physical exertion in each instance without ... Fri, 17 Dec 2010 05:55:29 EST Change in goals... again. Yup, I changed my goals. I decided that even on the ticker the HUMONGOUS amount of weight I want to loose seems to daunting. So I reduced it. Smaller goals may seem more achievable. <BR> <BR> I also have to confess that the numbers on the scale does not matter THAT much to me anymore. Don't get me wrong, its still very VERY important, but I do not want to focus on them as the sole indicator of my progress / success. I need to focus on other things too, such as getting active and hopeful... Mon, 13 Dec 2010 07:30:54 EST Long journey ahead Something one of my sparkfriends mentioned got me thinking - they mentioned that it was obvious that my attutude changed to a much more positive one.... and I had to sit back and think. It was not something I thought of at all, but with reflection, I realised it did change. <BR> <BR> I AM more positive in quite a lot of areas in my life. Its as if I was told for the first time "I'm O.K." and didn't have to beat myself up about every little mistake. I actually have the courage to try other... Sun, 12 Dec 2010 07:19:50 EST Inspiration waning, but improving again It is funny how the cares of life can distract one of things that seemed at the time the ultimate! Yup, my eating program hit a road side speed wobble. <BR> <BR> The week-end I was just too tired to really engage myself into "are you really hungry" conversation and ended up eating here and there not because I was hungry, which I know had its effects. Also, the power was out for the THIRD time in 2 weeks a the exact time I'm supposed to prepare dinner, which through me out a bit - which mea... Thu, 9 Dec 2010 07:55:04 EST Need some advice on water retention Hallo friends! <BR> <BR> I've recently discovered online-gaming and neglected sp a bit... (Yup, I love strategy games - weird for an adult woman to like it? yes I know, but I just do!) <BR> <BR> I've seen my weight shoot up by almost a kg overnight, literally, and I could definitely feel that it was water retention from the way my hands felt when I woke up. I am not sure at all what causes it. <BR> <BR> For one, I do not eat salt - I would add a teaspoon of salt or less in a whole pot ... Tue, 7 Dec 2010 13:07:39 EST It's still amazing! I still cannot believe it! <BR> <BR> I climbed onto the scale and off close to 6 times I'm sure! And even now I find myself staring at my ticker in amazement. The dream is finally happening! <BR> <BR> And on top of it all I had a week where I was suppose to drown myself in food and I didn't. No matter how many blogs I write or how many words I use, it cannot describe the gratefulness, amazement, hopefullness that I experience. The EXCITEMENT! I don't want it to stop! <BR> <BR> Even ... Fri, 3 Dec 2010 12:34:05 EST "within calorie range"... are you serious??? Sparkfriends! Lend me your ears! ;) <BR> <BR> I logged what I ate yesterday and today and guess what - I am within my recommended calorie range! Not only that, I'm at the Bottom of the range! Enough proteins, enough carbs, enough fats... AND I DID IT WITHOUT A DIET! <BR> <BR> I'm reminded of a story about a little train... first it said "I think I can I think I can I think I can... and as it got to the top of the hill it said "I know I can I know I can..." that's where I am now. WHOHOO!... Thu, 2 Dec 2010 13:05:28 EST Spreading the spark - Day 3 Sorry if my blogs become repetitive or boring, but it seems to really help to keep record of my experiences, and it keeps me accountable by doing it on the blog! <BR> <BR> I'm still going strong on my proposed goals - only eating when hungry, stopping when I'm not, making an effort to sit down and pay attention when I eat, and eating whatever I feel like. And its still working. I actually left food on my plate (first serving) TWICE today! <BR> <BR> For lunch I packed some chicken sandwich... Wed, 1 Dec 2010 13:27:36 EST Some more resources on emotional eating I would just quickly like to share these (I highly recommend them to other emotional eaters) <BR> <BR> Useful articles: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>key=key-aezpg2l9djymj775wet </link> <link><BR>rinciples </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> May we all have a successful journey in breaking free. Tue, 30 Nov 2010 13:46:17 EST Day 2: So far so good. Hi Sparkfriends <BR> <BR> Today I had 1 slice toast (YES! REALLY ONLY ONE! WOW) for breakfast with some scrambled egg and felt like some cheese melted on top - and I was full! <BR> <BR> What's even better, is that quite a few times yesterday evening I would find myself in the kitchen for whatever reason (preparing my youngest's bottle or some coffee for hubby) and I find my hand automatically reaching for another scrap of chicken... but i fooled myself - I packed it away immediately after d... Tue, 30 Nov 2010 07:26:42 EST My new goals (some repetition in explaining emotional eating - long) Ladies and Gentlemen. <BR> <BR> I've been going about this the wrong way. The reason I am overweight (grossly at the moment) is because of two reasons: 1) Lack of exercise and 2) Emotional eating. <BR> <BR> Emotional eating cannot be treated with diet, it has to be treated by changing my thoughts from the inside-out. I was really inspired by the video clips I saw on emotional eating. I have read up quite a bit on emotional eating in my lifetime, and to my experience there's a lot of hyp... Mon, 29 Nov 2010 12:37:46 EST To All emotional eaters out there. I have found this video clip on youtube that was something I could really identify with. Finally I came across someone who understood what the issue is! <BR> <BR> It is hard to talk to someone who have not been there ever - since the typical response one would get is to "monitor your eating better" or "replace the cheese sandwich with some celery sticks" <BR> <BR> To tell an emotional eater to chew on carrots instead, is like telling an alcoholic to drink pop instead of whiskey - its jus... Sun, 28 Nov 2010 14:43:20 EST Don't know how to do this anymore This is real frustrating. After a day of very light walking my foot hurts so much that I cannot stand it. I cry like a baby. And the same leg has got a weak knee - I hurt it in a freak falling accident a few years. What's even more frustrating, it happens to be my dominant leg, the leg I lean on when writing on the board in class, the leg I lean on when reaching into cupboards, the leg I find myself often supporting my whole weight with in several situations. <BR> <BR> When I stand up in... Sun, 28 Nov 2010 10:36:42 EST This blogging thing is interesting! I find this blogging activity quite interesting. <BR> <BR> First of all, I have never been as active on sp as I am since I started blogging. Secondly, it is astonishing how much support and good advice one gets this way. <BR> <BR> And thirdly, through blogging, I have discovered quite a lot about my own journey and way of thinking, even uncovered some roots to obstacles against weight loss. <BR> <BR> I am becoming addictive to blogging! <BR> <BR> It is also quite educational to read othe... Thu, 25 Nov 2010 13:17:15 EST Two blogs in one day! I was browsing some of the other sparkpages, and was reminded of something a collegue said. <BR> <BR> We happened to be talking about weight (which is something I usually refuse to discuss with collegues) and she made a comment that felt like a death sentence to me. She said that "us emotional eaters must just make peace with the fact that we will never be in shape, because that's how emotional eaters work dearie!" or something to that tune. Now that I think about it, it makes me ANGRY!... Wed, 24 Nov 2010 15:27:28 EST Update I know that it probably seems silly for someone else to be proud of being able to substitute a snack, but for me it is a big thing. <BR> <BR> First of all I am a very emotional eater and discovered that frustration is my hardest emotion to deal with. I have been craving potato chips since two days ago, and each time the craving became bad I mad a bargain with the monster and substituted something healthier. Most times I would've substituted with bread and ending up eating 4 to 6 slices jus... Wed, 24 Nov 2010 12:23:52 EST Only a short one. Only a short catch-up. <BR> <BR> <BR> First, one of my friends at work also decided to join sparkpeople <em>244</em> It would be awesome to have someone very close to me to share the journey with. She has not set up a blogpage yet. <BR> <BR> Second, I was so curious about my weight I weighed this morning and... its up one whole kilo! But I feel water-retained - I drank a lot of coffee yesterday because it soothes a sore throat. At least today I drank a bit more water so far. I'm not... Mon, 22 Nov 2010 09:30:06 EST Not a good week. In terms of weight loss it definitely has not been a good week. I really wanted to start with some exercising, and this week was so hectic I just didn't. After exams on Monday (which went well but was long and hectic), I just switched off, in spite of receiving my first pile of exam papers to mark. When I started marking on Tuesday, I became quite frustrated with seeing the kid's idiotic answers to facts that I drilled with them until boredom, I wanted to scream!! <BR> <BR> Tuesday evenin... Sat, 20 Nov 2010 02:46:14 EST Time to focus on positive changing. If you haven't noticed yet, I have changed my page introduction. <BR> <BR> I realised that everything I've been focusing on recently tended towards the negative side. And after reading an article about "trying not to think of an elephant's hind leg" (I think it was an sp member blog) I got to thinking - I might be more obsessed with food just because I'm focusing on the amount of times I snack or eat for the wrong reasons. I need to focus on something positive instead. <BR> <BR> Just as ... Sat, 13 Nov 2010 05:03:22 EST The stakes just got higher... DH said - "come hell or high water, next year we're doing it!" Yup, we are planning our first holiday together as a family. We haven't had a holiday since our honeymoon, so this is a biggie. Plus I am 40kg heavier than I was on my honeymoon. <BR> <BR> To top it all, we are planning the ultimate - holiday at the coast! Here in SA coastal holidays are expensive - easily a month's salary for me for the stay alone. So I want everything to be perfect. Not one of my kids have ever seen the s... Wed, 10 Nov 2010 00:20:50 EST Change is inevitable! And so, with the second exam done, and two more waiting, I've finally made up my mind. I do not want to be a teacher. Not anywhere. I have learnt all I want to learn about teenage obnoxiousness and I'm done. <BR> <BR> Its time to move on. For the first time in 4 years I've reviewed my CV, and I've applied for the job of my dreams. Whether I'm fat or not. Whether I have self confidence or not. I know but I KNOW I CAN do this job, I was made for it. Now I just have to make sure that if... Sun, 7 Nov 2010 12:46:23 EST Stock taking. This is interesting. I weighed myself and lost another half a pound, or 200 g as I am measuring in metric system. Too used to fluctuations and failures to get excited, so I will focus on other achievements. <BR> <BR> I am writing exam soon, and the stress levels usually drive me to eat like crazy. Today, I stopped short of 0pening the cupboard to look for munchies and washed the dishes instead. <BR> <BR> I love the piece of fat on a T-bone - especially a grilled one, my husband hates it... Fri, 29 Oct 2010 03:38:07 EST Pondering time ... There are so many things that keep us busy, keep our minds occupied with useless information. Its becoming so rare to really be able to come to a stand still and really think about things that actually matter. And it is in these times that you actually realise who you are, who you became and why. Its moments like these that this blogging-activity force me to do- coming to a stand still and thinking. <BR> <BR> I have been so despondent when I logged on eating hasn't gone well,... Fri, 15 Oct 2010 15:05:52 EST Scared of changing? I have no idea whether anyone else will be able to identify with these thoughts, or even understand where I'm coming from.... <BR> <BR> Its been years where I've been too scared to even glance in a mirror. Don't get me wrong, I would have a quick check every day to straighten my hair, see whether my clothes are straightened, but looking at me, myself, my great massive self, took much more than I ever was willing to give. <BR> <BR> Ironically I finally did muster up the courage to look at a ... Wed, 13 Oct 2010 11:48:08 EST