NIKKICOLE83's SparkPeople Blog NIKKICOLE83's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I know its about the food!!!! I am stubborn. Not about everything, but the things I am passionate about, I would fight tooth and nail for. I am PASSIONATE about food. I am sure some of my fat may be due to deep-rooted psychological issues, but MOST of it is because FOOD IS <em>345</em> Everyone who has ever been on a diet has heard the addage that weight loss is 20% SWEAT and 80% NUTRITION. That sucks. Why can't I just eat my coffee cake and dance later???!!! <em>46</em> I am telling you, if weight loss was dete... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 13:24:53 EST Was it this hard last time? I don't remember it being this hard to lose a few pounds! When I started my weight loss journey nearly two years ago, I had the eye of the tiger. Everything was about healthy living. I lost 2 lbs a week consistently for 16 weeks and then it would hit or miss but I managed to get off 55 lbs. This past week I had a MINISCULE goal. A goal so small, it shouldn't even be called a goal. I just wanted to lose 0.2 lbs. I gained 0.6. What in the SAM HELL? I worked out 4 days last week and ate... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 13:51:04 EST Lipstick on the dance floor and fish for breakfast Am I the only person that has to have on lipstick to REALLY dance??? About once a week I go to this Hip-Hop dance class with my brother's girlfriend. She always makes fun of me because before every class, I whip out my cosmetic bag and choose a color for the night. And not just any color. I go LOUD, SASSY, PREVOCATIVE. I wear hot pink, magenta, plum, midnight red. It's like I am putting on confidence with every swipe of the lipstick. Tameica will say, "Oh no. It's Beyonce!" Our dance... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 14:57:43 EST It's smoke! It's mirrors! It's Spanx! I had no clue I was getting fat again. Well, no, I KNEW I was gaining a few pounds when my inventory of Spanx increased from two pair of control top undies to a spandex wardrobe of tanks, body shapers and bras. It wasn't until my jawline got soft and I got cellulite on my upper arm, did I realize that I was disillusioned. <BR> <BR> The beauty of Spanx and other control garments is that they are a master at compressing loose skin. That is why I initially bout them. I was loosing weight pr... Wed, 16 Apr 2014 14:22:45 EST I missed you too!!! Oh how I love my Spark Friends, let me count the ways: 1.) You all are always checking in 2.) You genuinely care 3.) You haunt my dreams and thoughts 4.) You are sticking to your goals. <BR> <BR> Having friends like you all are necessary. I have been enjoying my husband, enjoying home, eating, drinking and being merry to the tune of 12 additional pounds. It was fun while it lasted but the truth is, your body knows what you need and I was genuinely happier and had more energy when my ... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 12:42:27 EST when your mother doesn't like you I know many women have stressed relationships with their moms. Part of me thinks it may just be part of nature. However, I am reaching a point in my life where I must either decide to confront my mother or choose to walk away from her. If I had to qualify my reasons in the simplest terms, they would be: <BR> <BR> 1:) She is mean. <BR> 2.) She is rude. <BR> 3.) She says hurtful things to me, about me, and to others. <BR> 4.) She is competitive. <BR> 5.) She does not show love or affectio... Wed, 18 Dec 2013 16:03:35 EST a tummy bug, bingeing on Christmas goodies and a fun Girl's Night I have been feeling like crap the past two days. I don't think its the flu because there isn't the vomitting and diarrhea but I definitely feel less than myself. Nonetheless, I moved ahead with my Girl's Christmas Potluck Party. There was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING healthy at this party. I ate nachos, chicken wings and red velvet cheesecake swirl brownies. I didn't eat a ton of it and didn't eat much else due to my tummy issues but this morning, was a different story. BINGE, BINGE, BINGE. Bad i... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 17:56:58 EST Lo Siento Mis Amigos!!! HELLLLOOO!!! I must apologize for my Spark Sabbatical. There were many reasons for it: <BR> 1.) Got married, got happy, got lazy <BR> 2.) Gym dates with the hubby became newlywed cuddle sessions on the couch <BR> 3.) Work has gotten busier on both jobs <BR> 4.) I was too ashamed <BR> 5.) I began a different journey: becoming one with my natural hair without weaves. <BR> <BR> Let's begin with #1. MARRIED LIFE IS AWESOME. . . .when you marry the right person. I have been married befo... Thu, 12 Dec 2013 12:37:05 EST The 21-day Lie Finding your focus after being on this journey for 17 months can be difficult. There is a saying that anything you do for 21 days becomes habit. I would like to be the first one to dispute that finding. While some things are truly second nature, I have to remind myself every other second to do what I KNOW I should be doing because everything in my being is telling me to rebel against it. 21 days cannot undo 28 years of unhealthy. 17 months can't either. What it CAN do is make me much mo... Mon, 21 Oct 2013 13:59:28 EST hamburger helper????? Last night I had the most fabulously healthy and scrumptious dinner. I had fresh salmon (beautifully pink and marbled, thick cuts) roasted in a bag. I sliced yellow squash, zucchini, red potatoes and red peppers, tossed them with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper and placed the salmon on top. I seasoned the fish and put sliced lemons on top. I sealed the parchment paper bag and let it roast for 30 minutes. IT WAS EUPHORIA. There is something about eating fresh, clean, simply prepared fo... Wed, 9 Oct 2013 15:58:51 EST Post-It notes work!!! If you don't own any Post-it notes or can't steal any from work, get up off your toosh and go to the store and grab some now. Those little pieces of paper saved my week! Last Thursday, a young lady who had lost 125 lbs told me to write down my goal on notecards or sticky pads and post it somewhere that I would be forced to face my goal often. So I wrote 219.8 on a Post-it in big, bold numbers along with "3,000 CALORIES TO BURN TODAY" and I hung them around my cube at work and right on the ... Tue, 8 Oct 2013 18:21:40 EST enjoying the married life You can cancel the Search Parties and Amber Alerts; I am still here. I have had every intention of Sparking but every time I prepared to log on, I saw my handsome husband and said "SCREW THAT! I HAVE A HOT HUNK OF MAN RIGHT HERE!" There was also the time spent putting away wedding gifts, writing thank you notes, and oh yeah, going back to work. In the midst of all of that I have managed to MAINTAIN my weight but I am ready to start losing again. <BR> <BR> And here is where Weight Watche... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 09:27:19 EST had a honeymoon, met a Spark Friend and joined Weight Watchers So much has happened over the past two weeks. Of course with a wedding comes a honeymoon. Derrell and I went on a cruise <em>340</em> . The cruise was okay. I think the best thing was just being alone together. One of my Spark Friends, CARAFAE37, actually got married the day before us and was going to be on the same cruise ship. She and I made plans to meet. It was great meeting her and her husband, Ethan. We actually had to pull our husband away from each other; they wouldn't stop ... Thu, 19 Sep 2013 19:14:06 EST WEDDING PICS!!!! YAAAYYY!!!! MRS. BROWN IN DA HOUSE!!! WHOOP! WHOOP!!! I am sooo excited to share my Big Day with you all, mostly because you all have been there every step of the way, from joining Spark to engagement to dress fittings and everything else under the sun. I know you all just want to get to the goodies but I must say that marrying my husband has been THE MOST JOYOUS thing that has ever happened to me. My spirit is happy. It is wonderful. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 18 Sep 2013 14:32:00 EST Bachelorette Bash and some quickee updates This weekend was my bachelorette party <em>408</em> . I had a pretty good time though there was supposed to be twice as many girls celebrating with us. I wouldn't too much of cared if the ones who were there had a little more life in them. I looove to dance. Four or five us would hit the dance floor while the other five watched. But all in all, we had fun. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=" Tue, 3 Sep 2013 23:03:11 EST I had Endless Shrimp AND I inspired someone My weekend waspretty boring. I spent most of it taking down the micro braids I had in my hair. That was a process! But anywho, Derrell had to work Sunday and then had Guys Night with friends afterwards so I hit the gym. I was NOT in the mood. It was one of those workouts where you tell yourself, "Self, just GO to the gym. Do SOMETHING for 30 minutes and you can leave." I was counting down the minutes until I hit 30 when an old childhood friend, Kizzie, walked up to me. She and I have ... Mon, 19 Aug 2013 10:52:11 EST this can get nasty . . . . What I am about to share is not for everyone. This would be a perfect time to make your exit <em>253</em> . Yesterday I decided to have colon hydrotherapy, or a colonic. Why? With the stress of this last month ( <em>336</em> ) I have been snacking on some pretty non-nutricious items. Those little packaged, sweet, seemingly harmless delectibles that sit in the grocery aisle between chips and cereal. Those items have no nutritional value. They are full of carbs, sugar and sodium, and ... Wed, 14 Aug 2013 18:08:29 EST soggy skin While in the midst of a perfect plank, with my hot pink running shorts on and as my purple t-shirt slowly crept up my belly, I noticed something in the gym mirror. My skin looked soggy. Cornflakes in day old milk kind of soggy. It's not like I didn't know that i had some loose skin; I know. However I typicall only worry myself with my bat wings and lady lumps in my inner thighs. My tummy is a lost cause so I barely pay that any attention but in that plank, in that moment, I noticed the lo... Thu, 8 Aug 2013 21:19:50 EST I've been hacked!!! and other updates Hey everyone! I miss you all so much. I have been in Drama City the past several days and I am finally up and running again. I have so many things to update you all on, the biggest thing probably being my computer being hijacked, me being scammed, and the cost of stupidity. <BR> <BR> Over a month ago I came home to find my personal laptop blinking a message that my cable provider had suspended my internet service due to copyright infringement. I was floored. I called Cox Cable and they ... Fri, 2 Aug 2013 12:58:11 EST my legs will fall off in the morning Tonight Derrell and I took to the football stadium and sprinted up stadium steps and the hills surrounding the stadium and we jogged the football track. It was an hour of high-intensity, heavy breathing, leg-killing cardio. I need it. Right before taking to the stadium I stole a glimpse of myself in my wedding dress from my phone's gallery. That pic was taken at my first fitting nearly 8 weeks ago and I honestly looked thinner and more toned and fit. My wedding is in 6 weeks and my next ... Wed, 24 Jul 2013 22:50:15 EST busy, busy, busy I am just 49 days from <em>336</em> ! It is coming so fast. I felt so out of control. It was beginning to feel like this wedding experience was happening TO me. After spending the entire day prioritizing, buying, organizing, planning and connecting with my future husband, it is like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Woooo!! Speaking of weight, I haven't checked my weight in almost two weeks. I haven't exercised as much or tracked food but I also feel more comfortabl... Thu, 18 Jul 2013 23:55:27 EST seeing myself through the Zumba mirror I am suffering through my 2nd sinus infection in 3 weeks but today I managed to make it to Zumba. I haven't been to Zumba in just under a month. By the way, I am medicated and not contagious. I went to a different gym than usual and had a crazy out-of-body like experience. I didn't recognize my body. I knew my eyes. I am familiar with my jaw-line now. I was completely caught off guard by my body. For a moment I thought they had a funny mirror. I assumed the mirror was making me look ... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 23:09:27 EST i'm in the 30's Club!!!!! ***Tons of pics*** Yesterday I officially became a member of the 30's Club! That's right. The Fourth of July is my birthday <em>232</em> <em>283</em> <em>383</em> <em>410</em> ! When I was 27 I told myself that I had until I was 30 to get my weight under control. At that birthday I begin my first stint with SparkPeople. I was gung ho and gave it my all. My "all" lasted 10 months. I was able to lose 47 lbs and successfully gained 52 back. Even still, I kept reminding myself of the promise I... Fri, 5 Jul 2013 14:16:29 EST stripping is a workout, isn't it???? I sure hope so because this weekend has been chock full of unconventional workouts, one of which had me getting lessons from a 52 year old former stripper with the body of a 27 year old. I was invited as part of a mutual friend's birthday party. I like to think I am sexy and can even be flat out raunchy . . .when I am with my future husband. Otherwise, I am pretty conservative. Well this instructor was anything but! She dropped the f-bomb approximately 30 times in the first 10 minutes. ... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 23:32:15 EST I know why I'm screwed up Just got off the phone with my dad and my insides hurt. It is more than my heart. My stomach is unsettled. My chest is heavy and everything surrounding it feels hollow. I had to work my part-time job on Father's Day. I wait tables. I typically don't wish my dad a Happy Father's Day. I save that sentiment for my mom or brother. This year I felt compelled. These are the exact words from my text: <BR> <BR> "Hey dad. I am at work all day so I can't call but I wanted you to know that I ... Fri, 28 Jun 2013 11:40:42 EST I Wanted to Quit a Thousand Times but Refused I ran my first 10k today. With bronchitis. Alone. It was a virtual 10k and along the route there were multiple opportunities to quit. To fudge the numbers. To cheat the system. To cheat myself. No one would know. I would know. I would know that this run was just a small portion of my day - the equivalent of a Lifetime movie - and I chose to bail out rather than buckle down and accept the joy and fulfillment of finishing even if I didn't finish with the time I had originally envision... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 13:53:04 EST a carb addict's cry for help I knew I had a thing for pastries and cakes, but I didn't know that I am completely and absolutely addicted to carbohydrates. Even when I am not eating sweets, the foods I gravitate to are carb heavy. I know that is the reason my belly is so big. It has nothing to do with shape and everything to do with diet. I recently converted my old BodyBugg account to the new, more efficient Body Media software. After logging my meals today, I graphed out at 55% Carb content. That is ridiculous! I... Sat, 22 Jun 2013 01:02:04 EST creepy berry and legs for days This grape freaked me out! The picture doesn't do it any justice but this thing was so creepy, it brought a tingle down my spine. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> The underbelly was worse. It wasn't like it was a siamese grape. When you looked at it closely, it looked like several disfigured grapes got fused together. I told Derrell to eat it and he took off running! The good news is that we finally had the chance and the finances to do some ... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 12:35:28 EST Zumba in the Mile High City and skin suggestions Whenever possible, I try to find a local 24 Hr Fitness when I am on the road. Many times I am in Iowa and the 24 Hr Fitness is the hotel gym. This week I am in Thornton, CO, a suburb north of Denver and I have the pleasure of being within 25 minutes of SEVEN different locations, one of which was just 5 minutes down the road from my hotel. I looked online and thankfully they were having a Zumba class tonight. <BR> <BR> The last time I was in the heart of Denver and while the Zumba class I ... Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:52:49 EST i don't know how much I weigh . . . and I kinda don't care I haven't stepped on a scale in weeks and while I should be pretty concerned with how close I am to Onederland, I am no longer consumed about it. I would definitely love to be under 200 lbs. On the flip side, the past few days I have begun to notice changes in my body that I had not noticed before. I have noticed my clothes fitting differently. I have noticed that I don't eat as clean as I used to but I also notice that I am naturally cutting myself off when I am satisfied. This morning ... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:01:06 EST hey girl!!! where you been???? It has been a good minute since I wrote a blog or participated in Spark in general. The past two weeks have been crazy busy for me and I found that at the end of the day, I just didn't have the energy to log on and engage the way I would like to. In the two weeks since my last blog, I have managed my weight within a 2-3 lb swing. My eating can always stand to improve and that hasn't changed since February. But nonetheless, exercise and activity in general is a part of my life so I haven't... Fri, 7 Jun 2013 16:23:02 EST The Year of No Quit I can hardly believe it; I have made it one year on this crazy ride called Weight Loss! I can't say I am TOTALLY suprised becuase this time around, everything was so different. It is kind of like being in an abusive or bad relationship. Your friends and family can tell you for years that the relationship is bad for you, but until you are ready to leave, all those words are in one ear and out the other. I always tell ladies that you know you are over a guy when you don't care one way or th... Fri, 24 May 2013 17:25:23 EST i'm a raging PMS machine!! AAAHHHHH!!! I could have bit a pit bull yesterday I was so mean. Not only was it the day after my race and I was sore and tired, but I had to work at RL and awoke to my TOM. Typically, I don't experience PMS symptoms. Even if I have cramps, I am typically a little slower to the punch but I am not bitchy. I am actually more quiet and to myself. I have noticed that during this time, I am a clean freak and get very picky about mundane things. Well yesterday I was in rare form. One of the sweetest gir... Mon, 20 May 2013 10:11:27 EST the 7k terrain run that nearly killed me Don't say I haven't warned you. IF any so-called-friend like ME tries to convince you to do a terrain run, DON"T DO IT!! If they somehow lead you to believe that "it will be fun", know that they are lying to you and that they are a sick individual who craves pain. The terrain run that I ignorantly signed me and my friend Ashton up for was disguised as a "fun run" under the title Mud, Sweat and Beers. They tell you it is going to be a little messy and a lot of excitement, and oh yeah, the... Sun, 19 May 2013 11:19:40 EST feeling victorious!!! This blog was intended for yesterday but because of technical difficulties, the blog was lost and/or just didn't post. So although today I don't feel as victorious as I did yesterday, mostly because I didn't work out yesterday, I still had a few victories over the past few days that really made me feel good about where I am at in my journey. <BR> <BR> The other day I went to the mall in dire need of more work clothes. Mine were much too big. I wasn't convinced that I was in a regular size... Fri, 17 May 2013 13:45:54 EST Color Me Rad 5k 10 months later (Tons of pics) Color Me Rad was the first 5k of my weight loss journey, last year, July 8th. I had been at this healthy living thing for 6 weeks at that point but I was determined to do well. Considering this race isn't a timed one, I timed myself. I finished in an impressive 37 minutes. It may not seem that great to most, but to me, at 259 lbs, I thought it was magnificent. This year I had a lot to prove to myself. May 21st marks my Sparkanniversary and I am super excited. But enough small talk, let... Sat, 11 May 2013 23:13:17 EST Top 10 List of the Day: My most important NSV's along the way 10. Sitting comfortably in an airplane seat. I travel for my job. I remember on April 10th of last year our team flying out to California. I recall having to take a window seat next to a random guy. My hips and thighs were so big that no matter how hard I tried to avoid it, my thighs were touching his legs the entire flight. I tried to turn a little in my seat so that I wouldn't make him uncomfortable and I remember the feeling of my belly fat pinching into the band of my jeans. I usual... Fri, 10 May 2013 17:31:24 EST yaaayy!!! it is working!!!!! That excitement is manifesting itself in a couple of ways recently. First of all, I had allowed myself to gain 5 pounds in the past several weeks. This past week I put a hard <em>227</em> to that trend. I did that by reducing my caloric intake, increasing my water, and increasing my workout intensity and commitment. I started a BGR! (Black Girls Run!) group. Today I weighed in and I am officially 4.8 pounds down! Only 0.2 lbs up from my lowest adult weight ever! That tells me that I... Wed, 8 May 2013 19:14:24 EST BGR! and paying it forward Recently I decided that I was going to start a Black Girls Run! group in Omaha. Actually RESTORED_ME encouraged me to do it some time ago and I put it to the back burner. BGR! was founded by two lovely ladies in 2009 as a way to inspire African-American women to take control of their health. At the time, 80% of black women were overweight or obese. 80%!!! That is crazy. In our culture, skinny is seen as a sign of poor health. Girls are encourage to be "thick". So many times along my ... Tue, 7 May 2013 09:55:05 EST Top 10 List of the Day: You know you've changed when . . . 10. You consider a "cocktail" ice water with cucumber and berries and any other random piece of produce you have in the fridge floating around in it. If you can pull out a fork and have lunch with the contents of your water bottle, you are doing too much. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 9. You talk about your weight loss journey like new mothers talk about their toddlers. <BR> Innocent bystander: "So how long have you bee... Mon, 6 May 2013 14:03:45 EST going after what i want I don't want to be fat anymore. I live my whole life that way. I have had a good life, even when things were kind of ugly, my life has been a good one. I have always loved myself though I have always known I could be a lot better. I have had made huge strides in my faith and just in general, being a nicer more loving and accepting person. As my Spark anniversary is just two weeks away and though I planned to be so much further, I am happy with what I have accomplished. I want to be fit a... Sun, 5 May 2013 10:18:23 EST what??!!! i have high cholesterol???!! I had to get blood work done in order to start taking the B12-Lyprosene shots and I got the results back yesterday prior to me seeing the daughter. The last time I got my blood drawn was a year ago in preparation for LapBand surgery which I elected NOT to do in favor of trying weight loss the good ol' fashion way. That blood draw not only showed that my cholesterol was high, but that my triglycerides were pretty high. So when the nurse handed me my results yesterday, I immediately noticed ... Fri, 3 May 2013 16:21:46 EST eat more - get fat, simple as that That isn't 100% true but that is my truth right now. I have been eating more, moving less or perhaps less intensely, and thus, I am up in weight and looking flabby as all get out. I need to get my sexy together! I am only slightly disappointed in myself. It is typical of anyone on a weight loss journey to have gains here or there. This is the first time in 11 months for me that I have had a real gain. I can contain these 3 or 4 lbs. I can do it. But first, I have to stop eating the bad... Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:16:24 EST March of Dimes walk in pictures Today was the first time in 2 years that I walked in memory of my daughter Alicia Jean and surprisingly, I had a good time and didn't get emotional once. I was able to be happy and proud for the babies and families that survived prematurity and compassion for the families who also lost babies. I was in great spirits with great friends and my brother, sister and niece. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is our team shirt as sported ... Sat, 27 Apr 2013 15:40:52 EST **** Potpourri for $500, Alex! *** I have been crazy busy and I am even blogging on the run now so my blog will be a highly random potpourri pot of everything that has been going on in the past few days. <BR> <BR> I have been travelling for 3 weeks out of the month for the past three months. I am tired. I am snacky. I am bloated. Trying to eat healthy living out of a hotel or a car or Denver International airport is next to impossible. The last I checked, I was up 1.6 lbs. I feel like I have gained 30. This week I am i... Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:57:56 EST who does that?????? Sometimes I am in utter shock and awe with the boldness of some people, even when they mean well. As many know, I am getting married in less than five months. I know a ton of people are extremely happy for me and Derrell and I appreciate their support. HOWEVER, I do not get, nor will I ever understand, those folks who self-invite themselves to events or give you the assumptive invite like, "When is your wedding again? Great, I will be there!" You can't assume that because I told you the d... Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:11:00 EST she woke me up at 4:30 AM!!!! I have been up since 4:30 in the morning. As I layed in slumber, my phone rang. Guess who it was? My little sister! Those of you who know me know the struggle I have had motivating my little sister to lose weight. She was on track, right along with me for about 7 months. The last 4 months have been a complete struggle; she gained back most of the 42 lbs she lost. Lately she has tried to motivate herself to get back to it and she has started doing HerbaLife shakes and supplements. Init... Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:56:29 EST i want a baby!!!!! I don't know what is going on with my hormones or ovaries but I am feeling some baby fever! <em>269</em> <em>187</em> <em>73</em> <em>450</em> <BR> I just told Derrell that on the phone and his shocked silence made me crack up laughing. He has brought up the idea of babies before and I have always said that we need to enjoy being married for a while and work on increasing the income before we consider it. So for me to be saying it, all he could do was respond with a "Wow." <BR> ... Tue, 16 Apr 2013 19:22:16 EST pushing myself to the edge of oblivion and my first model gig WHOA what a day!! I am leading a team for my work's fitness challenge and I have not been doing as well personally as I have for the past two years. I challenged my team to increase their step average and really I was just challenging myself. Yesterday I was much too busy to put in a workout but I was doing so much and on my feet so much that I burned about 700 calories over my BMR and ended up with over 11,000 steps. Today I told myself that I wanted to try my best to put in 30,000 steps.... Sun, 14 Apr 2013 19:49:40 EST homemade workout makes for sore butt I had every intention of going to Zumba tonight but when I seen who was teaching it, I decided not to. With my regularly scheduled Thursday program off the table, I wasn't feeling to eager to workout. But as I sat and watched a second show on my DVR, I reminded myself that this was the same behavior that caused me to gain back the weight two years ago. So I went to the guest room closet and pulled out my <em>323</em> <em>317</em> and <em>322</em> and began my homemade workout. <B... Thu, 11 Apr 2013 23:51:20 EST