NIGHTOCUPS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=NIGHTOCUPS NIGHTOCUPS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Using Spark People Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745765 Been gone for awhile, but I had more success losing weight when I used it then not. Fortunately I've been bouncing in the 220's since last October so it's not terrible. Just need to get out of this to feel that I'm finally losing again. Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:58:48 EST Wat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5629312 So I think my scale is insane or I'm just weighing myself at bad times because now it says that I'm 224.5lbs. There is no way that I lost 4.5lbs in 3 days. Shark week maybe? Either way I think that my weight is going to be a bit weird for the next check in and I don't want to look like I'm cheating because right now, yeah, it looks like I'm cheating. I'm eating regularly. Body, get your act together! Also it be nice to break this plateau too. I've been at about 220/222 for about 5 months now.... Thu, 20 Feb 2014 14:08:44 EST BLC 21 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5628166 I don't know how many of these challenges I've done so far. I've never completed any of them. So I guess the first goal is to actually complete one of these challenges. I've recently hit a plateau and gained back 9 of the 42 pounds I lost. Pretty mad at myself for that one. Still some big changes, new job, new puppy. So the outline of goals for this challenge is as follows: <BR> <BR> 1. Complete the challenge. <BR> 2. Lose the 9 pounds I gained. <BR> 3. Track my food everyday. <BR> 4. Work... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 09:45:04 EST For the points http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5548417 Saw Catching Fire last night, it was the most intense movie I've seen all year. Sat, 23 Nov 2013 12:43:41 EST New Plan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5547561 So the past few months have been super busy and guess what? They aren't going to get any less busy. So instead of putting stuff off to "a better time," I'm just going to adjust and add everything that I need to be healthy. I made the plan last night using My Wonderful Goals app. The only drawback so far is that I get horribly sick after I exercise in the morning. My stomach has always been a source of issue for me. Get up too early, get sick. Stay up too late, get sick. It's always been irreg... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 09:05:50 EST Burn Out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5504627 Trying to avoid that as best as possible. Been working so much and been under a lot of stress about things and thinking about other things so I'm not sure what's going to happen or how to keep up the pep. Just got to burn through it. Fri, 4 Oct 2013 17:59:03 EST October! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5501214 Goals for October: <BR> <BR> 1. Walk Lucy everyday, either a short 10 minute walk or a long 40 minute walk. <BR> 2. Complete the Biggest Loser Jump Start Workout challenge <BR> 3. Drink 8 glasses of water a day <BR> 4. Be up everyday by 6:30 am. <BR> 4. Complete 10 dolls <BR> 5. Study French and Spanish everyday. <BR> 6. Practice the tarot everyday. <BR> 7. Tidy my living space for 10 minutes everyday. <BR> <BR> I've got a couple of apps that will help me stay on track and I hope that thi... Tue, 1 Oct 2013 09:35:22 EST 400 Miles http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5499809 Apparently in 3 years I've walked over 400 miles. That is so mind blowing that I can't even comprehend it fully. My body, has done that. That is amazing. Mon, 30 Sep 2013 00:19:12 EST Sick http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5494942 I think I'm going to let myself take a little break. I've been working a lot and I have a lot of other things that need to be taken care of. Also having some anxiety issues. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day. Tue, 24 Sep 2013 13:38:40 EST Fall http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5493725 So here we are in Fall! First off I had a great weekend working at Vala's Pumpkin Patch. I did the Dragon Show all weekend and it was super fun. Between shows I walked the farm looking for garbage to pick up and being available to help patrons. If you're in the area you should stop by and say hi. I work the Dragon Show on the weekend and during the week I'll be working at various food services areas including the brand new Sundown Marshmallow Roast. I'm so excited! Being outside in the fresh ... Mon, 23 Sep 2013 10:59:05 EST Fall Shows http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5491076 With the start of fall there's another big event in the air: new season of my favorite shows and new shows to check out and possibly watch. Since I do enjoy a lot of television, last year I clocked in about 9 hours a week spent watching my favorite shows, I had a thought. Rather then sitting on my duff for all of those 9 hours, why not put in some workouts? I've seen people on other websites and I think it would be fun to do this for my favorite shows. There will also be some movies thrown i... Fri, 20 Sep 2013 11:42:07 EST Still Can't Believe Yesterday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5488228 Yesterday was truly one of the best days of my life. In August I tweeted Irish actor Fra Fee a crocheted fan art piece of the character he played in Les Miserables 2012. He responded positively and asked for one, so I made him one and sent it to his agency in the hopes that they would pass it on to him. Yesterday I was checking the tracking number of the package just to see if maybe it had reached its destination. Well there wasn't any update so I just sort of went, meh, that happens. How oft... Tue, 17 Sep 2013 11:52:51 EST Strange http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5487302 So I gained back 2 lbs. That's not so strange, shark week was last week so it's to be expected. The strange thing is waking up to a gorgeous morning after 8 hours of restful sleep and the first thing I feel is a panic attack. Beautiful mornings give me panic attacks. What is up with that? It makes zero sense. Mon, 16 Sep 2013 13:44:06 EST Walking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5484622 Got a chance to get up and walk Lucy at the crack of dawn. It was really nice with the air so cool and we saw two bunnies. Fri, 13 Sep 2013 13:04:19 EST Got to Work Today! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5484001 It was fantastic being able to go to work. I did shipment so I listened to Beautiful Creatures on my iPod. That is doing wonders for getting over my book slump. The weather has cooled down too so when I got back from work Lucy and I took a long walk. We saw 5 other puppies walking with their parents. The breeze was refreshing and everything felt fantastic! Thu, 12 Sep 2013 20:42:33 EST Feeling Better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5483003 Had a bit of an illness yesterday, but I'm feeling better today. Still taking it easy though and drinking all of my water. Mmm, water. <em>194</em> Wed, 11 Sep 2013 19:10:41 EST Finding Work http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5481588 It's really hard having a job and yet never getting to work. My hours are constantly being cut and there's no way anyone can live on a two digit paycheck. I keep applying to places for full time work and yet I keep getting rejected. Most of my work experiences is in retail and I have a Master's degree. Both of these things are working against me completely. No one wants to pay someone who has a master's degree and no one wants to hire someone whose experience is primarily in retail. Not that ... Tue, 10 Sep 2013 11:37:15 EST BLC #19 WUB: 32.5 lbs Gone! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5479530 I'm amazed and know not what to say, but I'll try to say something anyway. Here are the things that I believe have really helped for me to consistently lose two pounds a week for the past month. <BR> <BR> 1. Making my Les Mis dolls. I've made 11 dolls since mid August. By keeping my hands busy creating the dolls this has made my desire to snack less. Who wants to get food particles over nice dolls? Not me that's for sure. Furthermore I have a lot of dolls planned not only for Les Mis (I have... Sun, 8 Sep 2013 13:26:47 EST Good Morning! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5478309 It's 3:18 in the morning.... <BR> So no not a real good morning. I went to bed at 10:30 last night. Figured I'd start a habit of getting a good night's sleep. Did a night time ritual, shower, drink some tea, even took some melatonin, before hitting on the ambient sound maker and going to bed. That should work right? Well a little over 5 hours later I am still awake. That's right. I've spent the last 5 hours in bed tossing and turning. So I figured, go on Spark People, start your day, your bod... Sat, 7 Sep 2013 04:21:47 EST Food Tracking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5477689 I just switched my tracking so it includes the calories that I burned for exercise. I really like it. I found that I'm eating less and am able to say no to things more often and not feel like I'm missing out or anything. Also always eating at the dinner table is a habit that is really helping me to focus on what I'm eating and making the entire experience something to savor. Fri, 6 Sep 2013 11:07:51 EST Why I am Infinitely Wealthy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5476887 1. I can read. I have used that skill non stop since first grade to devour every book that has crossed my path. I'm not sure of the total books I've read in my lifetime, I'm sure it's over 1,000 by now. Those stories, characters, and the information I have learned have shaped who I am. And I am more than the amount of money I have. <BR> 2. I have had many pets that have brightened my life and brought me comfort and joy. Their infinite love is something that no one can put a price tag on. <BR... Thu, 5 Sep 2013 14:49:35 EST Poverty Level http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5476194 While applying for jobs today I made a fun discovery. I'm super below the poverty level. Well that's fun. I already knew that I wouldn't be able to survive by not living with my family. Yet all the social pressures that are put upon me and all the shame that gets thrown on me as well is just so frustrating. I have a Masters Degree, no one will hire me. At work I rarely make 15 hours, let alone 20 a week just above minimum wage. My bills are 7x what I make in a month. I want to go back to scho... Wed, 4 Sep 2013 22:33:01 EST Super Stressed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5474489 Work has not been pleasant lately. Some very negative things have happened lately and my anxiety about them will not go away despite reassurance. I feel like I'm walking the same road again and there's nothing I can do again. I feel like I'm going to be sick at every turn. That along with all the bills that are 7x what I make in a month and my car deciding to go on the fritz isn't helping either. As always it feels like I'm trapped. Hope you guys are having a better day. Tue, 3 Sep 2013 11:10:24 EST Hello September! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5472565 I'm not sure what it is, but I'm really feeling that this month is going to be good. I did my measurements today and here's what I got: I'm down to 231.5. That's about 5ish pounds lost in August. I've also lost 7.5 inches total off my body. Both of these are huge accomplishments for me. My clothes are super loose and I'm feeling really confident about what I can do. My goals this month include the following: <BR> 1. To be down to the low 220s by the end of the month. If I make it to 219 that... Sun, 1 Sep 2013 12:14:21 EST Exhausted http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5459797 This is what I get for working the most I've worked in nearly 3 years, not sleeping, not eating, and spending all my free time making dolls. Which are awesome I might add. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2066820995.jpg"> <BR> I have about There are things though that I need to keep doing: paying bills (which involves looking at the little money I do have and having a massive anxiety attack), looking for a second job/full time work (at this point I'm flinging my res... Mon, 19 Aug 2013 10:59:23 EST WUB 1 for BLC #19 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5457036 So far this week I've lost 2.5 lbs which is pretty amazing. I've completed one doll and started another. I just wish I didn't feel bad when I get up in the morning. It really dampens the rest of the day no matter what occurs. Fri, 16 Aug 2013 10:19:55 EST Less than 100 lbs to Go! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5456057 This week has been pretty unhealthy in my opinion, but apparently I'm doing better than I thought I was. Stepping on the scale this morning it had gone down 2.5 lbs! This puts me at 99.5 lbs away from the low end of my goal weight. I didn't think it would ever happen, but Onederland seems closer than ever now. This month I wanted to get out of the 230's and make it to the 220's for September and that might actually happen! In other news I'm trying to be more active and meet new people. Last n... Thu, 15 Aug 2013 11:09:27 EST Enjolras Doll http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5454960 This has nothing to do with weight loss, but I'm sharing because I'm so proud of him. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1367074340.jpg"> <BR> <BR> He took 7 hours and is made from yarn, fiber fill, and safety eyes. The character is from Les Miserables and he's the leader of the revolutionaries. I plan on making all the characters from that musical into dolls. So excited! The pupplette in the background is the often mentioned Lucy. Wed, 14 Aug 2013 10:57:43 EST Job Hunting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5452936 Not that I don't have a job now. It's just not the best one in the world. So I continue to look for full time employment that might allow me to do more than pay my bills. Wouldn't that be a dream. Mon, 12 Aug 2013 13:46:26 EST BLC #19 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5452282 This is my third time doing the BLC and I'm looking forward to it. Sun, 11 Aug 2013 23:25:46 EST The Gut http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5447585 I have such a disconnect with my gut. It feels like an invasive creature that's sucking all the potential happiness from me. This especially happens when I do exercises that have me on the ground, push ups, sit ups and the like. It's there like a blob, hanging down saying "You're disgusting and no one will ever want you. Who would after seeing this part of you?" I want it gone and I'm afraid no matter what I do it never will be. Wed, 7 Aug 2013 11:42:54 EST Two Week Motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5446816 This seems to be how long my motivation is in high gear before it peters out and I'm back to my old habits. It's been about two weeks now and while I continue to try and do what needs to be done I don't feel the same enthusiasm I did previously. Thoughts? Tue, 6 Aug 2013 19:29:45 EST Thanks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5445187 Thank you all for the tips yesterday. I really appreciate it. Mon, 5 Aug 2013 11:43:28 EST Anger http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5444099 Does anyone have coping techniques for anger that they could share? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks! Sun, 4 Aug 2013 11:19:28 EST This is a blog post. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5442142 This is a blog post. Fri, 2 Aug 2013 10:32:18 EST A New Month and the Joy of Gerbils http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5440908 Welcome to August everyone! Thank you for dealing with my whining the past few days. The new month brings new opportunities and it's time to leave those negative emotions again. So here are the goals for August! <BR> <BR> - make it to 1000 fitness minutes for the month <BR> - go to bed at 10 and wake up at 5 every morning <BR> - apply for at least 5 jobs a week <BR> <BR> Now for gerbils. Along with my beagle Lucy, I have three gerbils named Donna, Amy, and Rory. They're sisters that I adop... Thu, 1 Aug 2013 10:43:22 EST Motivation Upkeep http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5439718 Here's the thing about motivation: it's on a balance. Sometimes it's more on the gun ho side and other times I want to throw it out the door and eat a pound of fries. It's been feeling more on the latter side's than on the other. Still I have continued to record all my food and I keep working out. My gut has been nothing but a source of depression. It's huge, it jiggles, it sags down over my pants. It's probably the thing I hate the most about me because I can see it so prominently. My arms a... Wed, 31 Jul 2013 11:43:56 EST Frustration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5438453 After yesterday's great discoveries comes the rest of the day which ended up not being so hot. My job is less than ideal. I work at a girls clothing store. I have a Master's Degree and I do something that a trained monkey could do. And the empty compliments that the managers give out just add to the frustration. I was raised to work hard for the sake of working hard. Not for empty words. There's too much time to ruminate about all sorts of horrible things. The fact that I make more selling my... Tue, 30 Jul 2013 10:39:15 EST Today's Weigh In, The Boredom of Binge, and the Seven of Swords http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5437282 I had been hoping that I would see the same results that I saw last week and had lost another two pounds. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Instead I gained 1/2 a pound. So instead of crying over it and feeling like everything I've done was wasted effort because I'll never be thin, attractive, or desirable by anyone like I would have previously I decided to use the report feature to look at last week. My calories were fine. I only went over my range three times. Twice it was by less than a ... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 11:38:40 EST New Week! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5436126 And I'm excited to work on my streaks and lose more weight. Spark on! Sun, 28 Jul 2013 11:24:59 EST How Did I Get Here? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5435152 Yesterday user Lalatidah <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=LA<BR>LATIDAH </link> brought up an interesting point. How did I get here? When I started Spark People I was 200 lbs. Over the next three years I proceeded to gain 62 lbs and hit my highest in April of 2012 at 262 lbs. This mostly had to do with a poor attitude, a bad home environment, and getting extremely ill for about a year. When I was sick I was unable to work and spent most days sleeping about 15 hours a day. Fortunatel... Sat, 27 Jul 2013 11:21:28 EST Getting to my Calorie Range http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5434487 So this is a new problem. The past few days I've really had to work to even get to my minimum calorie range. Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do to fix it? Fri, 26 Jul 2013 17:02:31 EST Abs Workout http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5433183 Today was my ab workout and I must say it is the hardest and most frustrating of my workouts. It gives me the best burn which is great. It also makes me see how much of a huge gut I have and that I extremely depressing. I keep telling myself that someday it'll be gone, I just want that day to be sooner than later. Spark on! Thu, 25 Jul 2013 13:47:30 EST Skin Removal Surgery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5431986 One of my biggest concerns with losing weight is this. If I ever want to get to my goal range between 135 and 155 I'm afraid that the weight I lose will just leave behind a mess of loose flesh. Since there's no definite way to tell if I'll need this or not what are your thoughts in your experience? I have 82 to 102 lbs to still lose. I've seen people who have lost over 100 lbs in the inspirational stories section and none of them have mentioned skin removal surgery. Other shows I've seen wher... Wed, 24 Jul 2013 14:32:26 EST Thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5431073 Several things I've noticed today. <BR> <BR> 1. My jeans are already sagging in the rear area. <BR> 2. I start to feel sick if I don't eat lunch and I'm working. My knees hurt, I was lethargic, it wasn't a good thing. When I got home and had some food and then took Lucy out for her long walk I felt much better. <BR> 3. My jasmine passion fruit tea tastes too much like passion fruit and not enough like jasmine. I wanted jasmine tea. Alas! Still, tea. <BR> 4. I always feel better after my wo... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 21:36:09 EST Making Progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5429279 It seems everything is falling down lately and that's not entirely a bad thing. I stepped on the scale and found that I'm down another two pounds! I'm currently 237 and that's the lowest I've been since I began my weight loss journey. Huzzah! Mon, 22 Jul 2013 11:12:04 EST Thank You http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5428535 I appreciate everyone's prayers. Today was another day. And I survive. Sun, 21 Jul 2013 18:51:27 EST Prayer Request http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5427687 I would like to request any prayers, well wishes, or positive thoughts for myself please. I've hit an extremely difficult patch in my life and would appreciate whatever you may spare. You know it's bad when I'm asking for assistance from a higher power. <em>246</em> It's not something I turn to normally. There are no atheists in foxholes. I've spent two days crying nonstop and now it's time to laugh and repeat my mantra: I survive. Thank you for your time. Sat, 20 Jul 2013 21:31:52 EST Bridget's Veggie Scramble! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5425410 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/1/l917614521.jpg"> <BR> <BR> 3 scrambled eggs <BR> 4 cherry tomatoes <BR> 1 oz baby spinach <BR> 3 green bell pepper strips, diced <BR> <BR> 243 calories <BR> <BR> vs. <BR> <BR> Scrambled Cheesy eggs = 480 calories. <BR> <BR> This was more delicious, it was healthy, and it was filling. Time for a happy dance! <BR> <BR> Thu, 18 Jul 2013 13:35:46 EST Success is Gray http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5424803 I woke up this morning feeling really mad at myself. Not the first time this has happened. The reason for said anger this morning was that yesterday while being a fantastic day of going to the movies with my mother (we saw Pacific Rim, A+), running errands with my friend, and then spending the evening with another friend I was mad that I didn't do EVERYTHING that I felt that I was supposed to do. I didn't write in my journal. I didn't study the tarot. I didn't stay within my calorie limit. I ... Thu, 18 Jul 2013 00:10:31 EST