NICKLESPICKLES's SparkPeople Blog NICKLESPICKLES's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Healthy Changes I found spark people many moons ago. Many moons ago the only thing I allowed into my awareness was weight and exercise. I have accomplished many things other than that in the time that has passed. I have stopped drinking alcohol, stopped drinking diet coke, I have learned to take better care of myself by taking my vitamins, drinking my water, getting a weekly massage, resting when I need to rest, taking time for me and my Maker. I want to encourage all of you out there that a certain numb... Mon, 20 Jul 2015 10:31:10 EST We were born to be real, not to be perfect..." I am enjoying a day off at home today...I got cancelled from my regular 12-hour shift and I was happy to get the call. I am an emotional eater. Some days I do great feeling my emotions, other days I use food to not have to feel. <BR> <BR> I received a text message from one of my friends on Thursday regarding a patient we had three weeks ago that was back in the hospital. Three weeks prior my patient had a uterine and placental abruption thirty minutes into me assessing her from the moment... Sat, 2 May 2015 11:23:25 EST March 10, 2015 <em>214</em> <BR> To thine own self be true...~William Shakespeare & my grandfather <BR> <BR> I have been seeing an eating disorder therapist since October of 2014. I also see a nutritionist at the same time. I don't know about everybody else...but I do know about myself...and I am slowly learning new things every week. I am an all or nothing thinker. I did not want to accept that was true for me but it is. I look to the latest diet and exercise plan for help even though I know bette... Tue, 10 Mar 2015 23:37:54 EST Spark coach favorite inspirational saying for me is from Barbara Deangelis during a recent I Can Do It conference..."what is the highest choice I can make in this moment." Thu, 13 Nov 2014 19:29:34 EST Spark coach activity what is most difficult to stick to... For me it is being consistent... And I concur with today's reading about all or nothing thinking... Even the tiniest pebble of effort on a daily basis will result in I choose to make the effort and focus on the question "what is the Highest or best choice I can make in this moment." Tue, 11 Nov 2014 10:48:19 EST Spark coach Fitness goals: for this week it will be exercising twice at the gym, a yoga day DVDs at home, and my treadmill atleat once... Consistency is my goal this week. Mon, 10 Nov 2014 13:37:52 EST Spark coach task list one thing you would like to accomplish this week: three to four days of exercise, two at gym. Sat, 8 Nov 2014 13:49:42 EST Spark coach assignment I am grateful for: the struggle with my food and weight because it has brought me to my path of self discovery and compassion for all of us struggling with addictions. Fri, 7 Nov 2014 12:52:05 EST July 8, 2014 <em>334</em> <BR> "I lovingly do everything I can to assist my body in maintaining perfect health." ~Louise Hay <BR> <BR> You ever get life, by an injury, by illness, by old habits? I sure have. It is July 8th. Lots of great things have happened. My second daughter graduated from high school, my mom's cancer is showing no growth, one of my financial issues came to a resolution. ...I have not had a sip of alcohol since October 8th, 2013...I attended an Al-Anon meeting.... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 15:13:16 EST June 6, 2014 <em>67</em> <BR> *You never find yourself until you face the truth. ~*~Pearl Bailey <BR> <BR> I prayed for willingness two days ago to change my life. I had time yesterday to utilize some tools and went to my first al-anon meeting since 2006. I had been attending a weekly CODA therapy group but found that it resembled the stuff I had in al-anon years ago and I would rather become active in that community again. I am scheduled for individual therapy to address my binge eating issues in ... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 17:50:15 EST June 4th, 2015 <em>87</em> ~If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing...AA page 76 <BR> <BR> Praying for willingness today...Willingness to change a pattern of comforting myself that in the beginning helped me survive what was going on in my life but over time took over my life. <BR> As a child I did not overeat. I had issues with digestion and when I got full you could not make me put another bite down the hatch. <BR> <BR> I used to toss stuff to my dog und... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 14:18:40 EST May 10, 2014 All I can say is life will always have its ups and its downs...that is a reminder to myself to remember this is a journey and not a destination. My mom was diagnosed with cancer this spring; my younger sister is currently on a 72-hour hold at a psychiatric facility that my siblings and I worked very hard to get her into. Strangely enough...I had recommitted to the nutrition portion of my journey on May have been going to CODA group meetings weekly and our task was to pick a long te... Sat, 10 May 2014 15:23:28 EST February 5th, 2014 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Have been utilizing spark coach for a's workbook activity was to blog on how this journey has been. My dream is to not be remotely concerned with what I weigh for the rest of my life. Around the time I was in my early 20's I chose to partake in disordered eating. I went to therapy for better...and then proceeded to disregard all I learned and went back to survival mode. I am going to be 41... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 09:39:32 EST January 9, 2014 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Love the above quote...and that is what 2014 will be for me...doing those things I have always wanted to my life. I have utilized food as something to numb myself with since I was in my late teens. I have a great amount of OA support located all around me and am committing to going to a meeting today. I had to be willing to let things fall by the wayside in order to be ready to get back to the place... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 12:47:46 EST November 5th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> All things splendid... <BR> Celebrating the little achievements is the journey itself. I feel a lot healthier than I did one month ago. I feel like I am finally awakening back to what life was meant to be. My eldest daughter even informed me last evening that it was nice to speak to me after 5 pm and not have me in bed. Depression sucks the life out of folks...I turned to everything else to medicate it instead of jus... Tue, 5 Nov 2013 12:48:33 EST October 30, 2013 <img src=""> My son fell asleep last evening as I was reading a Dr. Seuss book...thought it fitting to add a little Seuss to my morning post. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Found this quote kind of soothing this morning. I am proceeding down a path of great change today. I am a potluck of spirituality...I was raised lutheran, I attended 12-step meetings, I enjoy most of the new-age autho... Wed, 30 Oct 2013 12:11:28 EST October 10, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> A picture of my six year old son and myself back in the day...just trying at times to be a single mom. My eldest daughter reminded me that I will have a college graduate in December, a high school graduate in June, and a little man in elementary school...things will get easier <em>211</em> I needed that. I chose this past week to stop drinking diet soda and my nightly is an expensive habit and I want ... Thu, 10 Oct 2013 12:09:28 EST October 8, 2013 <em>334</em> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> ~Always loved the movie "The Wizard Of Oz"...thought it fitting to have a little picture of those ruby red slippers on one of my blogs. We all have had the power all along. It remains a daily choice...some days are easier than others...but one day at a time becomes one week, one month, one year... <BR> ~Small changes over time. As Joyce Meyer says, " I may not be where I want to be, but than... Tue, 8 Oct 2013 16:00:44 EST October 7, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Haven't blogged lately...but liked this quote. Happy Monday <em>334</em> Mon, 7 Oct 2013 16:00:44 EST Don't Wait... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> September 18th, 2013 <BR> <BR> Don't wait... <BR> <BR> With all the lovely quotes I come across and the beautiful books I have read the common thread is that all we ever truly have is right now. One of my cousins was struggling with feeling happy today. I, too, have that struggle. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I instructed her to utilize the gratitude list. Lis... Wed, 18 Sep 2013 19:51:53 EST Believe... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I think one of the quotes I like best from Albert Einstein was (paraphrased by myself) you can live your life as if everything is a miracle...or you can live your life as if miracles do not exist. <BR> <BR> That choice is mine...daily. Some days I do better than others. Some days bring more "opportunities" than I have prepared myself to deal with. <BR> <BR> I can feel the fear and do it anyway as Joyce Meyer... Tue, 17 Sep 2013 22:08:28 EST September 13, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Morning All:) <BR> It has been awhile...sorry. My house is in order...which is awesome after spending the past two months in a little bit of chaos. I am ready to get back on with it now. Which for me means taking care of Nicole. I reconnected with an old friend on facebook (from my old neighborhood where I grew up)...I thought we were going to chat about the stuff I believed we both enjoyed...spiritual stuff...b... Fri, 13 Sep 2013 12:35:33 EST August 22, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> This is a new day:) Let us rejoice and be is a new day. My 40 year old body wakes me up at 4 am on my non-work days too:) Utilized the early wake up call...watched a little of my lady Joyce Meyer, brewed some coffee, logged onto spark. <BR> <BR> I am thankful for a day to exercise, care for my kids, clean my house, organize things, a loving extended family, my crazy animals... <BR> <BR> And now I will s... Thu, 22 Aug 2013 09:05:21 EST August 21, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> ~My eldest child is on her way back to her last semester of college, my middle child is now a senior in high school, and my baby is enrolled in a new school as a first grader. <BR> ~This house feels kind of empty with all the changes that have taken place over the past couple of months. <BR> ~ My ex-husband is serving time in a state prison up north...I had allowed him to stay in my office for the past 3.5 years... Wed, 21 Aug 2013 19:49:22 EST August 6th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> Processing life as it is...Acceptance...Peace. I am a single mom of three healthy children. I have a job with health insurance. I have a roof over my head. I have a reliable car to drive. I have a nice warm cup of coffee in my hand. I can enjoy my life as it is right now in this moment...I love Paul's words in the bible...that he learned to be content in whatever situation he found himself in. I, too, can do so..... Tue, 6 Aug 2013 11:21:59 EST August 3, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Just a short reminder that the only way out is through...and love is all there is. Goodnight and blessings. <em>334</em> Sat, 3 Aug 2013 23:50:31 EST Awesome August 1st, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> ~Made a turn my life and my will over to a god of my understanding... <BR> <BR> Quick one...woke up, made the joe, turned on the tunes...logged onto the website. I will be consistent with my decision to become a healthier person physically, emotionally, and moment at a time. Blessings <em>213</em> Thu, 1 Aug 2013 12:14:56 EST July 31, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Trust the process <em>134</em> <BR> Hold the vision... <BR> <BR> There exists a pattern in my life...or there has been a pattern that until today existed in my up on my vision & not trusting the process. <BR> <BR> And as Dr. Phil always says, "how is that working for you?" <BR> <BR> It is not working for me. I want to be a healthy weight and in decent physical and spiritual shape. <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 31 Jul 2013 20:09:41 EST July 30, 2013 <img src=""> <em>58</em> <em>125</em> <BR> <BR> Focusing on the kindnesses... <BR> ~there was someone at home at all times when Carleigh or Noah got home from school <BR> ~he fixed stuff in the house and I did not have to hire a contractor to do it. <BR> ~my dogs were exercised daily on the long runs he would take them on. <BR> ~my garbage cans were taken out every Sunday night. <BR> ~he taught Noah to swim and ride a bike <BR> <... Tue, 30 Jul 2013 19:03:17 EST July 25th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am going to treat it as if it is a gift. I believe that these experiences are brought to me in order to get me to grow. I can stay stuck in the negative emotions I naturally want to gravitate toward when I am in the stuff...or I can take a step back and evaluate the situation. What is this experience trying to teach me? A couple of things...forgiveness helps me move on with my life...and if it walks like a du... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 10:57:34 EST July 24, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Letting go...I may need to go back to Al-Anon:) Most of my life I have been trying to help others. I helped my ex-husband out for the past 3.5 years. He has addictions that he has not made public however if he would admit them then possibly he could move on with his life instead of remaining in dishonesty. I allowed him to live in my office while he was awaiting trial. After the second trial he was sentenced to... Wed, 24 Jul 2013 23:39:35 EST July 19, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Been going through some things this week...have to keep on believing in something bigger than what I see within my physical field of vision. Trying to make the best of each day as it comes. Utilizing it to the fullest...trying to speak from a loving place and quieting my mind as it attempts to blab from an entirely different place <em>211</em> Many things coming to a head this year for me...feels like too much... Fri, 19 Jul 2013 18:23:37 EST July 14, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Become more aware of how you choose to treat this miracle of a body. Talk to it as you give it exercise, good food, and generous amounts of fresh water. "Bless you, wondrous body of mine. By being more aware of what a perfect creation you are, I will avoid mistreating you." ~Dr. Wayne Dyer <BR> <BR> Just thought I would share...blessings <em>334</em> Sun, 14 Jul 2013 11:17:49 EST July 13, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Watched a video on amazon while using the treadclimber..."May I be Frank"...really focused on how this whole process is about the whole person. Life is as well...this excess weight is a symptom of an underlying issue...not even just the excess weight...but this journey with the inability to maintain a healthy weight. Opportunity to change. <BR> Kindness...first one I need to be kind to is me. <em>211</em> <B... Sat, 13 Jul 2013 15:31:46 EST July 9th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well...ending the day ok after a 12 hour shift of delivering spiritual beings into human bodies:) Followed a food plan...may not be perfect...but stuck to it. Moved my 182 lb. backside up and down a L&D unit for 12 hours. Made a conscious effort to be gentle and speak kindly. One day at a time ya'll. Blessings. <BR> <em>141</em> Wed, 10 Jul 2013 01:27:59 EST July 8th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> I have the opportunity to do this daily if I so choose...yes, somedays are harder than others. Hormones, not-so-therapeutic-days, life...all come into play. If I open my eyes in the morning then that means I get to try more loving, speak more kindly, be more gentle with others and myself. I can say it is the easiest for me when I am not at work or when my six year old active son is at his dad's house for t... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 09:54:00 EST July 7th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Morning All <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I work 12 hour shifts approximately one hour from my home...I did so the past two days. I am responsible for little babies making it out of their mommies safely and at times it can be quite stressful. Last year I made it a point to exercise even if I was tired. I am going to have to make it a point to commit to the "10 minutes of exercise daily" on those days when I feel l... Sun, 7 Jul 2013 09:46:24 EST July 5th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Morning All:) <BR> I am getting ready to go to work. Plan for today: eat to live, exercise once I am done with my 12 hour shift and 1 hour commute. Blessings. Fri, 5 Jul 2013 08:25:30 EST July 4th, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Some big changes for me this month. The focus needs to remain on my own story and not the story of all of those around me however much I love them. I was cancelled from work today which was totally okay with me as I have been an emotional disaster for the past 36 hours. I have stayed on task; focusing on the things that I can control. And for today that remains: exercising, meditation time, and what I put into ... Thu, 4 Jul 2013 23:29:57 EST July 3, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Continued doing things as planned. Got up & exercised, utilized spark trackers. Have to remind myself of the above quote...have a good day <em>211</em> Wed, 3 Jul 2013 18:29:52 EST July 2nd, 2013 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Got on that treadclimber, followed an eating plan, drank that water...choosing to do things differently one day at a time. <em>8</em> Wed, 3 Jul 2013 00:17:33 EST July 1st, 2013 <img src=""> <em>41</em> <BR> July Went to the beach yesterday with my kids. Beautiful place with waves to get lost in for hours. All sorts of body types there; and my thing is I spent so much time not enjoying the life I was given just because I thought I was too big. Not doing that anymore. This is the day I was given...and I will live it to the fullest: 187 pounds or any other number that scale can come up with. Mon, 1 Jul 2013 12:59:53 EST March 23, 2013 <em>334</em> <BR> It has been a month since I started the 8 hour diet. The plan is working for me & to not have had a binge in over 30 days is pretty awesome. Took the dogs on a long walk at 5 am, had a cup of joe with cream, did my shopping, put together ingredients for soup in the crock pot, and in 15 more minutes I will break my fast. Weighed in at 184 lbs. Pretty confident it was much less than what it would have been had I actually been brave enough to step on the scale over a mon... Sat, 23 Mar 2013 15:46:02 EST March 5th, 2010 <img src=""> <BR> ~So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34) <BR> <BR> It is in giving that we receive...I have been out of the loop for a good month +. I helped get my boyfriend's 80 year old alzheimer's parents moved into his home at the end of January. On February 5th I was informed that my ex-husband was in jail... Fri, 5 Mar 2010 12:19:48 EST January 19th, 2009 <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am winding my day down. My desktop Joyce Meyer calendar stares at me with today's quote: God is good, and several times a day we should tell Him we realize that fact. (joyce meyer)...praise the lord, o give thanks to the lord, for He is good; for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever...Psalm 106.1 <BR> <BR> I am doing things differently today. I got my chubby white behind out of bed at 4:30 am and stepped... Wed, 20 Jan 2010 02:01:36 EST January 18th, 2010 <img src=""> <BR> My grandfather always was full of quotes, very intelligent man, one quote he always said to me was: Patience and perseverence the sweet oils of success. Last night I was talking to my baby brother and found out my grandfather blessed him with more crass quotes than he did to his granddaughters. The quote he told me made me laugh and does not need to be repeated on line. <BR> <BR> I will stick with the above quote. <BR>... Mon, 18 Jan 2010 09:46:45 EST