NEWMOON's SparkPeople Blog NEWMOON's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Addiction, Acceptance, Abstinence I'm not very good at this lately. <BR> <BR> In spite of not one but TWO therapists, all of the reading, all of the information, all of the knowledge I possess about nutrition, exercise, metabolism, weight loss, yadda yadda yadda, I cannot seem to get a grip on the food addiction. <BR> <BR> Sometimes I think I know TOO much about all of it and I get overwhelmed with it all. <BR> <BR> The bottom line is: I have serious issues with food. And those issues are stronger than I am. When ... Sun, 22 Nov 2015 16:47:40 EST Another binge and shame and tears This is so hard. <BR> <BR> I'm disgusted, frustrated, ashamed, angry. <BR> <BR> I don't even know what to say anymore that I haven't said a million times already. <BR> <BR> I would give anything to get rid of this. Every minute I'm awake is about this addiction, disorder, whatever. <BR> <BR> So many of us suffering and so little help available for those of us without tens of thousands of dollars for treatment. <BR> <BR> I wish I felt more hope in my heart. Wed, 4 Nov 2015 15:13:27 EST It's me again. First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone for the condolences for the loss of my friend. October was a hard month. Personally, I'm glad it's behind me. <BR> <BR> So here I am today. One pound away from my highest-ever-weight. <BR> <BR> I have no answers. I'm very tired of fighting this addiction. I'm exhausted from spending so much time in my head, trying to figure out what will help me. <BR> <BR> All I can do is try to do my best today. <BR> <BR> Hour by hour, choic... Mon, 2 Nov 2015 13:20:06 EST sadness I'm not sure if I wrote about this before, but an old friend lost her battle with stomach cancer and was in hospice care at her mom's house since Sept 23. <BR> <BR> She passed away on Oct 8th. <BR> <BR> I have been struggling since I realized that the fight was over and we just all waited. <BR> <BR> I pushed on, posting here, and doing my best to fight my addiction through this, but I was/am not strong enough. <BR> <BR> And that's OK. <BR> <BR> I have done the best I could unde... Sat, 10 Oct 2015 21:04:46 EST No clue I don't understand why I'm not losing weight. I'm really frustrated, so if you don't want to read a rant, you might want to leave now. :) <BR> <BR> I know my body isn't a robot that will do X if I do Y. BUT, with all the nutrition and health info out there and basic physics, some laws of science do apply. <BR> <BR> If I am taking in less calories than I burn, I will lose weight. <BR> <BR> There is nothing to explain why I'm gaining. Not sodium, not TOM, not anything I'm doing or not... Fri, 2 Oct 2015 15:20:14 EST Crawling still counts as moving forward <img src=""> It's so hard to keep going sometimes when I don't see progress. I'm trying to stay in the moment. I'm making healthy choices, getting some movement, drinking water. The scale is not moving. I know all about NSVs, but I'm not seeing any of them, either. The weather is grey, I'm still recovering from the flu, and I'm about to lose a childhood friend to stomach cancer. I know what advice I wou... Wed, 30 Sep 2015 15:28:17 EST Trying <img src=""> <BR> I've been sick for a week and I'm slowly getting better. <BR> <BR> Today I'm trying to focus on the present and not look at the scale or the exercise I haven't done since I got sick. I know it's a waste of time and energy to wish for the time that's already gone. I'm trying not to look ahead either, at the fact that I have over 200 pounds to lose to get to what's considered a healthy weight. ... Tue, 29 Sep 2015 15:09:11 EST Don't weigh yourself when you're sick and other lessons learned the hard way. Somehow I've gained 7 pounds since I came down with the flu. <BR> <BR> I "know" it's probably fluid body is busy fighting off germs. <BR> <BR> Regardless, it's hard to not be upset. I can throw a ton of logic at it, but inside me I want to cry and maybe punch a pillow. <BR> <BR> I'm over 400 pounds. According to all the math, my BMR is 2585. You have to burn 3500 cals to lose a pound. With my daily calories, I should be losing at least 2 pounds a week. Not gaining ... Sat, 26 Sep 2015 15:11:39 EST The plague and other stuff Well, well, well. <BR> <BR> My husband got sick on Monday. I blame the people he works with that have kids. With kids back in school now, they're spreading their nasty little kid germs hither and yon. Thanks a ton! <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> In spite of my best efforts to avoid whatever nastiness the husband caught, I'm now infected with it. Body aches, fever, congestion, chills. All the usual suspects. <BR> <BR> When I get sick, all I want is carbs. Ramen, noodle soup, ric... Thu, 24 Sep 2015 12:16:23 EST OK, so I'm Sparking like all-get-out... ...but how do I find time for the rest of my real life?? <BR> <BR> This pic cracks me up: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> But for realz, yo, how do we Spark without spending all day here? I'm interested to hear how much time you all spend on here, and how you manage your time so that the rest of your life off Spark is in balance? <BR> <BR> Entering my food, logging my exercise, reading helpful info, giving suppo... Tue, 22 Sep 2015 18:02:04 EST Balance? Whassat?? Whew, <BR> <BR> I've been crazy-busy the past few days. It's really a full-time job keeping up with what's going on here, plus tracking food, exercising, cooking, meal-planning, grocery-listing, etc. etc. etc. <BR> <BR> I'm desperately trying to recruit new members to the "400 (more or less)" team. HINT-HINT!! <BR> <link><BR>ndividual.asp?gid=15146 </link> <BR> <BR> We don't have any requirements. We aren't competing with other teams. You don't... Sun, 20 Sep 2015 17:53:19 EST Now I've done it! I'm now one of the leaders of a team here, the "400 (more or less)" Team. <BR> <BR> It needs active members!! While you might not be 400 or more, you most certainly are "less", and everyone is welcome. <BR> <BR> At this size, I know people face many challenges. One of them is even talking about BEING this size. Spark can be as anonymous as we need it to be. That is one thing that keeps me coming back here. It's a safe haven to talk about anything and everything without judgment and c... Thu, 17 Sep 2015 17:38:04 EST From Zero to Hero The ONE thing that I've not been doing is exercise. It's the hardest thing for me for several reasons: <BR> 1. My size. At over 400 lbs, physical activity is challenging and can actually be dangerous if I'm not smart about it. <BR> 2. I hate it. Always have. Always will. Nothing anyone can say will change this. I'm in my 5th decade of life. I've tried just about every physical activity known to man short of cliff-diving, curling, and snowboarding. In order for me to not hate it, i... Wed, 16 Sep 2015 23:41:54 EST Still here There's something to be said for that. Pretty sure the depression meds I've been taking forever aren't working anymore. <BR> <BR> Hard to be positive when you don't FEEL positive. I'm grateful to have my life, yet seem to be unable to do what I need to in order to be healthy. <BR> <BR> The addiction is crazy-strong. <BR> <BR> But I'm here. <BR> <BR> Thank you to the folks who haven't given up on me. It means everything. Wed, 16 Sep 2015 17:19:03 EST Checking in again - The intestinal plague is starting to go away. I still can't predict what's going to happen after I eat, but at least not EVERY meal results in a mad dash to the "powder room". <BR> <BR> Because the plague wasn't bad enough, I'm also dealing with some peri-menopause stuff, that is best left at that and not described. <BR> <BR> I'm physically exhausted, which is "funny" because I already have CFS. Just when you think you can't BE more tired... <BR> <BR> I wish I had something positive a... Wed, 20 May 2015 12:15:09 EST Checking in - still sick :( Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for well wishes. <BR> <BR> Still have the intestinal mayhem. <BR> <BR> Wishing everyone a healthy weekend. Fri, 15 May 2015 15:25:18 EST ugh. Sick. :( i have some nasty intestinal thing and I just wanted to post in case someone wonders where I am. I'll be back. :) Tue, 12 May 2015 15:34:51 EST I'm so hungry. And so what? <BR> <BR> It's not like I haven't had any food today. I know there are people in our world that eat less in a week than I ate today. So far! <BR> <BR> How spoiled am I? My stomach growls, therefore I must put something in it? I'll have my dinner in about an hour. Fresh asparagus, roasted new potatoes, crab cakes baked in the oven. I am so very fortunate. I had eggs for breakfast, a great salad with chicken for lunch, fresh fruit. Some people in this world will never... Fri, 8 May 2015 18:26:41 EST Tool Box for Recovery - let's dust off this bad boy and take a look, shall we? I think it's time to open this up and pull out anything and everything I need to get back on the path to health. <BR> <BR> All of these things helped me in the past. When I am at my lowest and darkest, I have a hard time believing that anything will help me. I lose hope, temporarily, and while I know it will eventually pass, in those moments I simply don't see it. <BR> <BR> I'm grateful for a new day. I'm thankful for the friends I have here, who refuse to give up on me. I'm happy tha... Thu, 7 May 2015 10:26:59 EST Why can't I stop? I just don't get it. Years of this. YEARS. Therapy weekly, medication. <BR> <BR> I am killing myself with food. No reason to sugarcoat it (no pun intended). I read that and I "know" it's truw, and I hear it, but it somehow doesn't sink in. Do I truly not care about what happens to me? I find it so hard to believe. Yet, it is a fact. I'm over 50, got Type 2 diabetes in 2005, and clock in at about 430 lbs today. <BR> <BR> Where is the disconnect? I'm not a bad person. I certainl... Fri, 1 May 2015 14:56:34 EST So much easier to stick with it when I stick with it. Yeah, that makes no sense LOL. Or it's a keen insight to the obvious. BUT, I have noticed over these many years that if I don't eat The Usual Suspects, the struggle is much less difficult than when I have an "allowable" amount of sugar/simple carbs. <BR> <BR> Everyone is different and it's clear that some people can incorporate every type of food into their meals and lose weight. <BR> <BR> But, if I do that, the part of my brain that craves a binge, wakes up and starts screaming for mor... Sat, 25 Apr 2015 14:18:33 EST Newmoon's FULL FIGURE FABULOUS FASHION FRIDAY! PART ONE OK, I'm not promoting or even listing websites for these clothes. If you want to know where they're from, all you need to do is a search on the common plus-size websites and you will find them. I am not affiliated with any of the companies. I just love clothing and I think we all deserve to look as fabulous on the outside as we are on the inside. <BR> <BR> Today, I'm focusing on the Maxi-Dress. I'm so so so glad that they are in style. I have lymphodema, which causes my legs to swell ... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 12:43:04 EST Sugar and "simple" carbs are Satan's Snacks LOL First of all, HI AGAIN! I keep coming back here. You can't get rid of me! :) <BR> <BR> I posted some time ago about how I discovered the major impact sugar and processed carbs have on my emotions. As I get older, and my hormones do all kinds of wacky zany stuff, I find that if I consume any quantity of white bread or pasta, or something like a scone or a cupcake, all Hell breaks loose. I will hit rock bottom emotionally, and cry uncontrollably. And then there's the uber-grouchiness, li... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 09:16:40 EST Still trying. After a few weeks of weight watchers, I starting gaining. I was extremely disgusted and sort of gave up. <BR> <BR> I had an appt to see my Dr last week and we talked about the point allowance that was assigned and it's obviously too high. I think I am much more sedentary than whatever is built into the WW calculations. <BR> <BR> Also, my Dr, prescribed a medication for Binge Eating Disorder, called Vyvanse. My insurance company won't release it without a bunch of stuff from the Dr. s... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 10:39:11 EST One week of WW I lost 7 pounds in the 8 days since I decided to start WW (again). <BR> <BR> Their Points Plus system is different from what I did with them before, and it's been so long since I officially signed up that it's taken some adjusting (what? I don't use calories?), but I'm getting in the groove. <BR> <BR> If you're reading this and you're in your 20's, 30's and 40's, LOSE YOUR WEIGHT NOW. <BR> <BR> Trust me, the older you get, the harder the weight sticks. I mean, this stuff does NOT wan... Wed, 11 Mar 2015 17:32:53 EST Carbs and depression I've noticed that carbs have a huge impact on my mood lately. <BR> <BR> I know the nutritional info and how carbs metabolize, so it makes sense, BUT lately their impact is really drastic. <BR> <BR> For example, I had some pumpernickel bread for lunch today. Here I am, an hour or so later, crying because I read a sad post on another message board about someone having to have their dog put down. <BR> <BR> I felt fine until just recently. Nothing in my life is happening to cause this sad... Sun, 8 Mar 2015 17:05:17 EST "Are my friends and family making me fat?" Warning: Mini-Rant I think maybe it's the full moon, but everything is irritating me today. <BR> <BR> This article is here on Spark: <BR> <link><BR>on_articles.asp?id=909 </link> <BR> <BR> I haven't read it, because of the whole easily-irritated thing going on, and I'm sure it's well-meant and helpful, like pretty much everything on Spark. <BR> <BR> BUT <BR> <BR> No one is making us fat. Unless we are strapped down and food is being rammed down our throats, we're d... Fri, 6 Mar 2015 10:58:27 EST A letter to me, from me Dear Me, <BR> I know you're in there and I want to take this time to tell you that I am trying so very hard to do what I have to, to get you out. <BR> <BR> You are yearning to have your life back, I know. You dream of walking the streets of NYC, of New Orleans, of Philadelphia again. Your heart hurts to look at pictures and know that your physical body is in such poor shape that all you can do is WISH you were there and remember how happy it made you. <BR> <BR> I know how much you wan... Thu, 5 Mar 2015 09:55:11 EST Starting WW Online tomorrow - Need a reboot I just signed up for WW online. I start tomorrow. I have been trying to do this on my own and I need more structure and discipline right now. <BR> <BR> I've done WW several times before, so it's nothing I don't already know. BUT, tracking points instead of calories, etc. will give my brain the change it needs to switch things up. <BR> <BR> I wish with all my heart that I could afford to go back to the facility in NC. I hate that only the reasonably well-off can afford a place that k... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 21:32:41 EST Oh, yeah, it's back. About a week ago, I woke up and the hideous food addiction/binge eating disorder, or whatever you want to call it, was gone. <BR> <BR> And it stayed gone. <BR> <BR> Until Saturday afternoon. It came back in a big whoosh and I was so disappointed that I cried. <BR> <BR> Having that time without it constantly in my head was like being freed from prison. If anyone knows what B.E.D/food addiction feels like, it is like having some creature inside you, poking at you almost constantly. Wh... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 09:00:26 EST So, let's go shopping for dresses. OK, here are the dresses that come in 8X. <BR> <BR> Knowing that I am 5'7", 417, and have almost no "bosom", I feel pretty certain I need to stick to the A-Line, and probably go with the Empire Waist. I want to avoid "shiny" fabric, because it catches light and shadow and makes you look even bigger than you are. <BR> <BR> All of these dresses come with a matching shawl, which I will convert to a jacket, using a spiffy trick I saw on youtube. These upper arms will NOT be out and about fo... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 14:12:52 EST Waking up without Food Addiction I woke up just a bit ago and something is missing. The thoughts of food. The wanting to eat for the sake of eating. Gone. I'm sitting here, stunned. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. But, it's as if someone waved a magic wand and **POOF**, it's gone. <BR> <BR> I am no fool, and I am not allowing myself to think that whatever is in my brain that flipped that switch on, somehow shifted, and turned that switch off permanently. <BR> <BR> BUT, I am going to... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 10:29:55 EST Angry today and don't want to be HANGRY today I'm blogging right now in an attempt to avoid turning anger into Hanger (hungry anger). <BR> <BR> I just read a headline where another company was hacked and 80 million people have that their personal info stolen. It's a healthcare company, and you can find it online if you want the specifics. <BR> <BR> My husband's info was used last year to file a fraudulent tax return with the IRS. We didn't even know until I tried to file our tax return and it was rejected. This has happened to a... Thu, 5 Feb 2015 11:29:06 EST Dresses up to 8X! Huzzah! First off, if I haven't thanked you yet... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> For your support, for your ideas, etc. <BR> <BR> I found several sites and an ebay seller that sell beautiful formal dresses up to 6x. <BR> <BR> I found TWO sites that sell beautiful formal dresses up to 8X. Actually one of them has only one dress that big, but it's beautiful. <BR> <BR> The other site has quite a variety of formal dresses up to 8X. Since I... Tue, 3 Feb 2015 16:07:30 EST Too big for a pretty dress? In the continuing saga of trying to find a fancy-schmancy dress for not one, but TWO fancy-schmancy weddings... <BR> <BR> I found several dresses on a site called jjshouse. They have an option to have the dresses made custom, so I got five kinds of excited. <BR> <BR> When you select "Custom Size", a bunch of drop-down boxes open and you enter your measurements. HOWEVER...the maximum measurement for Bust, Waist, and Hips is all 63", <BR> <BR> My hips are outside of the 63" range. <BR> ... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 17:06:53 EST Missing important lifetime moments due to weight I'm writing this because I need to get it out. <BR> <BR> My husband's Brother and Sister are both getting married this year. NOT to each other. <BR> <BR> His brother's wedding is in April. My husband is a groomsman. The reception is being held in a gorgeous historical venue, complete with a painting by my favorite artist. The wedding and the reception are both going to be like a dream-come-true. <BR> <BR> When his brother announced the date, a year ago, I was determined to lose e... Wed, 28 Jan 2015 18:06:26 EST Today is all that matters Trying so hard to stay in the present. Trying even harder to keep the hounds at bay. <BR> <BR> The hounds = the overwhelming all-consuming torturous urges to eat for comfort, taste, pleasure, stress... <BR> <BR> Realized today how blasted long I've been in the 400's and this foolishness has to stop. <BR> <BR> I don't remember when I was in the 300's, but I need to get there and stay there, until I hit the 200's. <BR> <BR> I wish people knew what this is like. Many people don't unde... Wed, 28 Jan 2015 16:33:32 EST Diet Rage - HULK SMASH :) GRRRRRR. I have PMS and I want chocolate and salty crunchy things and then more chocolate. Chocolate-covered salty crunchy things. <BR> <BR> So, I'm sitting here, trying to be all Zen about it, talking to myself about what I want be healthy, to have mobility, to travel again...and then the food addict in me says "EFF THAT! All you have is today, and today I want PLEASURE and you know how good it all tastes. Why are you depriving yourself of something that makes you happy?" <B... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 18:46:59 EST My current "intentional activity" plan Going from completely sedentary to doing some kind of "intentional activity" (I can't use the word exercise without wanting to hide somewhere) is a challenge. <BR> <BR> I have never enjoyed doing it for the sake of doing it. When I was active and healthy, I played tennis, walked everywhere, rode a bike, rode horses, went dancing, etc. My physical activity was FUN. <BR> <BR> Until I weigh less and can move easier, I've come up with my own personal plan that is DOABLE. Some people might ... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 17:37:49 EST Tool Box for Recovery - Added 10 and 11 These are the things that have helped me with recovery from compulsive eating. <BR> <BR> I'll repost it when I add to it. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 1. Write about it. Blog, journal, whatever. Get it out there for accountability, for support, for the sake of speaking it and not holding it in. <BR> <BR> 2. Music. If you already have an emotion identified that's causing the urge, pick something that either matches it, or will c... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 08:55:05 EST Tool Box for Recovery - Revisted Time to revisit and update my Tool Box. <BR> <BR> These are the things that have helped me with recovery from compulsive eating. <BR> <BR> I'll repost it when I add to it. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 1. Write about it. Blog, journal, whatever. Get it out there for accountability, for support, for the sake of speaking it and not holding it in. <BR> <BR> 2. Music. If you already have an emotion identified that's causing the ... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 12:29:47 EST Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose The more things change, the more they stay the same. <BR> <BR> And so it goes. <BR> <BR> In the almost 4 months I've been gone, I've lost weight and gained weight. I've been in a hole of panic, anxiety, and depression. <BR> <BR> I've stuck to a healthy eating plan for a few weeks, and then something extremely stressful happens, and I stress-eat. <BR> <BR> I've been losing and gaining the same 20 pounds literally for years now. <BR> <BR> I know what needs to be done. <BR> <BR>... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 08:58:39 EST Where I've been and where I'll be First of all, thank all of you who have been checking in on my page. Your concern and support mean the world to me. <BR> <BR> Here's what's going on. <BR> <BR> When I filed our Federal Income Tax (online), the IRS rejected it, and after talking to them, I found out that someone used my name, date of birth, and social security info to file a fraudulent tax return (based on some imaginary job/income) in order to receive a fraudulent refund from the IRS. <BR> <BR> I've since learned that in... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 10:12:34 EST Time to stop borking around " 'Borking' is not a word", you say? Feel free to insert your favorite. <BR> <BR> While I haven't been free-range binge eating, I started doing the math in my head instead of tracking, making less-than healthy choices for a meal here and there, and getting sloppy with just about everything. <BR> <BR> All a recipe for disaster. <BR> <BR> So, time to get serious again, and do what I know works. Track my food, count the calories, watch the sodium, plan meals, cook pretty much everythi... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 11:33:18 EST April 8 through April 14-Orange/Yellow Fr/Veg Challenge NOTE: If you copy/paste this somewhere else, please be kind enough to give me credit. I worked many hours to gather the nutritional info and to put this list together, and it is original work. Thanks! <BR> <BR> Here are the rules: <BR> 1. You eat a min of 3 different Orange/Yellow fruit/veg during the week of 4/8-4/14 <BR> 2. You eat a min of 1 Orange/Yellow fruit/veg daily. <BR> 3. You eat a min of 5 fruit/veg daily (including your daily Orange/Yellow fruit/veg). <BR> 4. Blog about it (opti... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 16:18:40 EST Week one Eat a Rainbow results I ate at least one purple/blue fruit of veg a day. <BR> I ate at least 5 servings of fruit/veg a day. <BR> The purple/blue fr/veg I ate this week: <BR> Blueberries <BR> Eggplant <BR> Purple Cabbage <BR> Purple Onion <BR> <BR> YAY <BR> <BR> <em>242</em> <em>277</em> <em>242</em> <em>284</em> <em>242</em> Mon, 7 Apr 2014 11:45:52 EST April 1 through April 7 - Purple/Blue Fruit/Veg NOTE: If you copy/paste this somewhere else, please be kind enough to give me credit. I worked many hours to gather the nutritional info and to put this list together, and it is original work. Thanks! <BR> <BR> <BR> Here are the rules: <BR> 1. You eat a min of 3 different Purple/Blue fruit/veg during the week of 4/1-4/7 <BR> 2. You eat a min of 1 Purple/Blue fruit/veg daily. <BR> 3. You eat a min of 5 fruit/veg daily (including your daily Purple/Blue fruit/veg). <BR> 4. Blog about it (... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 10:08:58 EST Here is the Challenge, should you accept it... I developed this Challenge for the Chair Exercise Team, but if you want to join me, go for it. <BR> <BR> Just make sure you give me credit for, OK? No stealing it and posting it on a team somewhere without saying where it came from! Yes? Yes. I spent many hours on researching this, so R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Thank you! <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Every week in April, you focus on a specific color family of Fruit/Veg. <BR> <BR> Green is a gimme, since we're all probably getting green veg o... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 09:37:57 EST "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train" Yep, that was me for about the last week. Not tracking my food, not counting calories, and eating whatever I wanted. <BR> <BR> I made those choices consciously. I knew when I had the sub, fries, pizza, etc., that the food wasn't healthy for me. <BR> <BR> I have lots of reasons, no need to list them. <BR> <BR> The bottom line is that I need to take myself by the hand and guide myself back on track. <BR> <BR> Had a healthy bfast and lunch, and the food is tracked. Need to figure out dinner,... Tue, 25 Mar 2014 14:06:53 EST Moving forward So, between TOM and then an intestinal virus, my food choices have not been the wisest and I just noticed that I haven't tracked my food since the 12th. <BR> <BR> While I have not been binge-eating or emotional eating, my meals have not been the healthiest. <BR> <BR> Moving forward. <BR> <BR> The past is gone and there's no need to look backward. All I have is this moment, and the choice is mine. <BR> <BR> Today, I will track. Today, I will choose healthier options for my meals. ... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 11:44:46 EST