NEW-CAZ's SparkPeople Blog NEW-CAZ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Goat Thongs to Roses: A History of Valentine’s Day <link><BR>roses-a-history-of-valentines-day.html </link> <BR> <BR> Happy Valentine's Day <em>129</em> Sat, 13 Feb 2016 02:17:55 EST Not so smart eh? AN AIRPLANE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH; THERE WERE 5 PASSENGERS <BR> ON BOARD, BUT ONLY 4 PARACHUTES. <BR> THE FIRST PASSENGER, HOLLY MADISON SAID, "I HAVE MY OWN <BR> REALITY SHOW AND I AM THE SMARTEST AND PRETTIEST WOMAN AT PLAYBOY, SO <BR> AMERICANS DON'T WANT ME TO DIE."SHE TOOK THE FIRST PACK AND JUMPED OUT OF <BR> THE PLANE. <BR> <BR> THE SECOND PASSENGER, JOHN MCCAIN, SAID, "I'M A SENATOR, <BR> AND A DECORATED WAR HERO FROM AN ELITE NAVY UNIT FROM... Fri, 12 Feb 2016 03:16:51 EST thanks again to Sonia for forwarding I may not have a massive vocabulary, but I won't let it stop me being <BR> ... y'know, whatever. <BR> Fri, 12 Feb 2016 02:51:27 EST thanks again to Sonia for forwarding My wife thinks I'm too nosey. <BR> At least, that's what she wrote in her diary. <BR> Thu, 11 Feb 2016 03:01:54 EST thanks again to Sonia for forwarding In which state does the Mississippi river flow? <BR> Liquid. <BR> Wed, 10 Feb 2016 03:09:36 EST thanks again to Sonia for forwarding I got home and found a note from my wife that read: "I'm leaving you because you're too childish" <BR> I was devastated. I'd just bought a see-saw <BR> Tue, 9 Feb 2016 03:41:23 EST Business Trip A man was traveling north to Dallas. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, "So how ya doing?" <BR> <BR> The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides to answer. So he clears his throat and says, "uh....I'm fine." <BR> <BR> Then the stranger in the next stall says, "So where are you headed?" <BR> <BR> Again the man, a little nervous answers, "Uh...I'm headin north t... Mon, 8 Feb 2016 03:09:04 EST Goal met!!! :):):) Well most of you know I've been having trouble with that blessed hip and only recently returned to working it out but was having difficulty walking. <BR> Well today I met a goal I set myself as soon as the doc said " yes get walking again" <BR> I walked to the pier head and back-( 60 mins) only stopping briefly to chat with numerous friends I've missed so much on my Sunday walk! <BR> Man it felt good to take in the beach and all it's noises and scents; the gulls, the sea, the dogs barking as... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 07:05:26 EST IRISH WORKMEN! These workmen are installing bollards (steel pillars) to stop nurses from parking on the pavement outside the Royal Hospital in Belfast. They are cleaning up at the end of the day. <BR> <BR> It was very convenient to have their work vehicle so close by. <BR> How long do you think it will be before they realize that they can't go home? <BR> <BR> This is a real photograph! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> you had on... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 03:15:00 EST Seenager! Thought you would like this, I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) <BR> <BR> I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. <BR> I don't have to go to school or work. <BR> I get an allowance every month. <BR> I have my own pad. <BR> I don't have a curfew. <BR> I have a driver's license and my own car. <BR> <BR> I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store. <BR> The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. <BR> And I don't have acne. <BR> Life ... Sat, 6 Feb 2016 03:50:42 EST Great Photo Shots 3# <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Tell me you didn't smile <em>334</em> Fri, 5 Feb 2016 05:07:49 EST Great Photo Shots 2# <img src=""> Thu, 4 Feb 2016 06:50:18 EST Great Photo Shots Some very ’attentive’ gymnastics judges at the European Games in Baku, Azerbaijan <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Wed, 3 Feb 2016 03:29:00 EST The church gossip Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's <BR> morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. <BR> <BR> Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but <BR> feared her enough to maintain their silence. <BR> <BR> She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being <BR> an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only <BR> bar one afternoon. <BR> <BR> She emphatically told ... Tue, 2 Feb 2016 03:07:29 EST Senior Hells Angels <img src=""> Tue, 2 Feb 2016 03:06:18 EST I know Christmas has long gone but this clip is hilarious! Michael McIntyre at his best <link> </link> Mon, 1 Feb 2016 08:20:30 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL 7 and last one My wife said she's utterly fed up with my Star Wars obsession and is calling it a day on our marriage. <BR> Di-vorce is with us. <BR> Mon, 1 Feb 2016 05:18:48 EST 'enery the 8th Storm Henry- the 8th storm to hit us this year and to be named it to hit us tonight and tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Henry the 8th! Get it? <em>246</em> British humour at it's best <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> It pricked in my memory a very old song and it's been going around in my brain all weekend <link> </link> . <BR> I bet you'll be kicking yourselves around lunchtime trying to get that out of your brain too <em>18</em> <BR> <BR> Mon, 1 Feb 2016 03:16:52 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL 7# I can throw a chocolate bar over 60 feet now. <BR> It's all down to Aerodynamics. <BR> Sun, 31 Jan 2016 03:37:12 EST Just out of curiosity................................... Since we moved here some 2 and half years ago we've been aware of a ship wreck off the Gorleston beach and I've been meaning to research it. <BR> It's marked with an orange buoy and a few of the ship's timbers still protrude from the sea at low tide which is considered a hazard to other small boats and swimmers. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> There was a program on shipwrecks on TV tonight and it prompted me to FINAL... Sat, 30 Jan 2016 16:31:41 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL 6# I've just seen a bloke dumping several large boxes of blue bottles in a car park... <BR> I think he was fly-tipping. <BR> Sat, 30 Jan 2016 03:26:06 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL 5# A guy in a kilt with a huge sword stole my wallet this afternoon. <BR> It was daylight Rob Roy. <BR> Fri, 29 Jan 2016 02:54:30 EST This One Thing Makes You 4 Times More Likely to Order Dessert <link><BR>hing-makes-you-4-times-more-likely-to-<BR>order-dessert.html </link> Thu, 28 Jan 2016 12:02:37 EST A day to add to the gratitude jar Well I woke to brilliant sun and powder blue sky and informed Pete ...(note "informed" as he's always reluctant to eat out) that we needed a break from sorting out the garage (and it's a major task-show me a man's garage that isn't <em>198</em> ) and we were going to have lunch at Jayjay's sitting outside taking in the sounds of the beach and we were going to "chill" ( ie relax not get cold!!). <BR> Had a lovely lunch, nice walk there and back, caught up with 2 more of friends I've made on ... Thu, 28 Jan 2016 11:43:10 EST Getting stronger! Off for a beach walk after brekkie, lovely day here. As I've seen people for the first time since being "confined to barracks" we've had some lovely catch ups. I've not yet attempted the walk to the pier and back.........but I'll get there!! <em>521</em> <BR> <BR> Thu, 28 Jan 2016 03:30:48 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL 4# Girl:" What colour are my eyes?" <BR> Guy: "34c" <BR> Thu, 28 Jan 2016 03:16:41 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL 3# The jumper I got for Christmas kept picking up static electricity so I took it back to the shop and exchanged it for another one free of charge. Wed, 27 Jan 2016 03:36:25 EST Pump up the volume................pretty please :) We're experiencing severe winds and heavy rain here- the remnants of the snow storm that hit the east of the states a couple of days ago. <BR> Getting more walks in, although shorter for the time being. Have now got my London hospital date booked and confirmed in writing (finally) so have booked the train tickets- going 1st class on our outward journey as it was only 4 pounds more than standard, but it's far more for the return so we’re going standard………… least we'll be pampered one way L... Wed, 27 Jan 2016 03:00:21 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL 2# For 2016 I plan to launch a new brand of ice-cream called 'Revenge'. <BR> It'll be a dish best served cold <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>468</em> Tue, 26 Jan 2016 03:20:18 EST Stupidities, as passed to me by good sparkfriend Sonia :) LOL "I thought you said you were having a dry January??" <BR> "I am. It's Sauvignon Blanc" <BR> Mon, 25 Jan 2016 03:08:43 EST In my eyes my man was a super hero yesterday I was so proud of Pete yesterday, He's not got a head for heights but scaled our bungalow roof to place a cap over the chimney to stop the whistling noises it causes when windy. <BR> He used to be able to scale 2 storey buildings when younger but lost the knack. When we first came here we needed a new TV ariel mounted up there and although he tried, it worried me he's fall so we called in the experts, <BR> He was so determined yesterday..........and did it!! <em>104</em> Sun, 24 Jan 2016 03:22:12 EST Elderly TV Watching.... An elderly couple were at home watching TV. <BR> Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. <BR> <BR> Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said, "For God's sake, Phil... leave it on the porn channel... you know how to fish!" <BR> <BR> That could leave a bad mental image in your mind.LOL <BR> Sat, 23 Jan 2016 02:39:36 EST One liners 4# and last one When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau. <BR> Fri, 22 Jan 2016 03:08:06 EST Lost Words from our childhood Heavens to Murgatroyd! <BR> Would you believe the email spell checker did not recognize the word murgatroyd? <BR> <BR> Lost Words from our childhood <BR> Words gone as fast as the buggy whip! Sad really! The other day a not so elderly (65) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy and he looked at her quizzically and said what the heck is a Jalopy? OMG (new phrase!) he never heard of the word jalopy!! <BR> So they went to the computer and pulled up a picture from the movie "The ... Thu, 21 Jan 2016 07:38:36 EST One liners 3# Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's cr*p at snooker. Thu, 21 Jan 2016 03:48:57 EST One liners 2# They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly. Wed, 20 Jan 2016 03:14:52 EST Male ecstasy (50 shades of grey) He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved <BR> forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back <BR> and and and out. <BR> <BR> Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she <BR> moaned,softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally <BR> exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted................. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> "OK, OK! I CAN'T ... Wed, 20 Jan 2016 03:12:40 EST One liners 1# If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam. <em>211</em> Tue, 19 Jan 2016 03:44:21 EST Fancy dress party A man and wife were invited to a fancy dress party. Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. <BR> He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. <BR> So he took his costume and away he went. <BR> The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early ... Tue, 19 Jan 2016 03:36:02 EST You guys seem to like phenomenal photos so ........................11# last one folks <img src=""> Tue, 19 Jan 2016 03:33:57 EST You guys seem to like phenomenal photos so ........................10# <img src=""> Mon, 18 Jan 2016 03:14:27 EST You guys seem to like phenomenal photos so ........................9# <img src=""> Sun, 17 Jan 2016 03:45:38 EST Cute or what? LOL My SIL in Canada just sent me a this of a water skiing squirrel she's seen at a boat show they visited. <BR> I seem to remember she sees it there every visit so this must by the 12th or 13th "Twiggy the water skiing squirrel" there's been .......if not more <BR> <link> </link> Sat, 16 Jan 2016 12:15:12 EST You guys seem to like phenomenal photos so ........................8# <img src=""> Sat, 16 Jan 2016 03:12:46 EST UK sparkers,,,,,,,,,,,,,join in There's a bird watch run by the RSPB on 30 and 31 Jamuary. <BR> It only requires an hour of you time. <BR> Why not sign up- no costs......unless you need to buy bird seed <em>211</em> <BR> <link> </link> Fri, 15 Jan 2016 11:36:11 EST Never Quit Pledge pass it on~ Please respond that you want your name added to the bottom of the list. <BR> <BR> Never Quit Pledge <BR> <BR> Today, I promise I will not quit. <BR> <BR> I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, I will continue on my journey. <BR> <BR> I pledge to make a NEW START today, and forgive myself for my past, and to stop being so critical of myself. <BR> <BR> I pledge to take control of myself, to stop making excuses, and stop blaming other people or situations. <BR... Fri, 15 Jan 2016 02:48:26 EST You guys seem to like phenomenal photos so ........................6# <img src=""> Thu, 14 Jan 2016 03:40:23 EST Once again my GP comes through........................ My GP's receptionist called just now to say my "bone medication" is at the chemist awaiting collection and proceeded to instruct me on when and how to take it in conjunction with some calcium tablets. <BR> Now.........I'd booked an appointment with her following seeing the orthopaedic chappy at James Paget to discuss this on 29/1 but she's on the ball and called me first!!!! <BR> YA Dr Beata..........I think you're amazing. <BR> And I mentioned the booked appointment to the receptionist and ... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 10:44:22 EST Found out about resetting Health and Wellness A-z Apparently it's no longer an option <em>39</em> , Coach Jen kindly got back to me Wed, 13 Jan 2016 06:28:58 EST Does anyone know??? How do you reset the Health and Wellness A-Z articles so you can re-read and tick them off as you go? <BR> You used to be able to go to your account and reset them but that's gone and I've emailed sparks but so far no response. I've also left a message on the site/technical message board TWICE and nothing from frustrating. Wed, 13 Jan 2016 03:32:31 EST