NEW-CAZ's SparkPeople Blog NEW-CAZ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Cute quotes 11# A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. Wed, 22 Mar 2017 03:47:09 EST Cute quotes 10# <img src=""> Mon, 20 Mar 2017 04:40:18 EST Cute quotes 10# <img src=""> Mon, 20 Mar 2017 04:40:15 EST Cute quotes 9# Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:27:41 EST Cute quotes 8# I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. Sat, 18 Mar 2017 04:02:00 EST Cute quotes 7# <img src=""> Fri, 17 Mar 2017 07:22:38 EST Cute quotes 6# <img src=""> Thu, 16 Mar 2017 03:53:35 EST Cute quotes 5# <img src=""> Wed, 15 Mar 2017 04:23:31 EST Cute quotes 4# <img src=""> Tue, 14 Mar 2017 04:17:20 EST Cute quotes 3# Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Mon, 13 Mar 2017 04:32:02 EST Cute quotes 2# Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Sun, 12 Mar 2017 04:28:27 EST Cute quotes My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.. Sat, 11 Mar 2017 03:29:21 EST Productive day today Got all the winter debris out of the garden today- was out there 4 hours in glorious sun- although it was windy. I am pleased to have got so much done with no hip aches! <em>244</em> <em>224</em> <BR> Pete got rid of the dead tree stump he killed off last year - so much clearer in that spot now. <BR> <BR> The borders were still too sodden to weed but all the dead leaves are out of the way; wanted to give the lawns a first cut but they were too wet too........still, should be dry weat... Thu, 9 Mar 2017 14:49:57 EST Snappy jokes 10# Q: When two snakes marry, what do their towels say? <BR> <BR> A: Hiss and Hers. <BR> Thu, 9 Mar 2017 02:41:08 EST Snappy jokes 9# <BR> "The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug. <BR> <BR> "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested. <BR> <BR> "I just don't think I can do that to my wife." <BR> <BR> "Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!" <BR> <BR> So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." <BR> <BR> "Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried it so many times and it's never worked." <BR>... Wed, 8 Mar 2017 03:11:24 EST Deliriously happy over something so minor! We definitely have blue tits nesting in the nesting box Pete made last year now! <BR> <BR> We can see some nesting material poking through the crack at the bottom and Pete has seen a bird actually flying into the box, staying for a couple of minutes and flying back out for more food! Ridiculously happy over something so minor- I could stand and watch them all day!! <BR> <BR> They say little things please little minds <em>24</em> OMG What does that say about me? <em>246</em> Tue, 7 Mar 2017 03:25:32 EST Snappy jokes 8# A lawyer was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. <BR> <BR> "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" <BR> <BR> The client replied that he did. <BR> <BR> Then lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" <BR> <BR> The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win." <BR> Tue, 7 Mar 2017 02:40:56 EST Snappy jokes 8# Patient: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor. <BR> <BR> Doctor: You should diet. <BR> <BR> Patient: Really? What colour? <BR> Mon, 6 Mar 2017 03:10:55 EST Snappy jokes 7# <BR> On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the under ground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them. <BR> <BR> "What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" <BR> I joked. <BR> <BR> "It would go out," he replied very matter-of-factly. <BR> <BR> "Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited... Sun, 5 Mar 2017 02:43:52 EST Snappy jokes 6# Did you hear about the man who was in court on a charge of "attempting to assault a drunken fortune teller" his defence, he claimed that he was "only trying to strike a happy medium". Sat, 4 Mar 2017 03:16:54 EST Snappy jokes 5# While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups, plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables away from her, I felt a stinging pain in my hand where I was cut from the shattered debris. I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor. <BR> <BR> "What happened?" he asked. <BR> <BR> I said, "Attacked by a flying saucer." <BR> Fri, 3 Mar 2017 02:53:16 EST Another good day, hey I'm on a roll! *smiles* Well extra cardio done for the TnT challenge......... so I claim the bonus points this week <em>248</em> <BR> Had an extra walk with Himself to the Pier Hotel and back, took longer as the ole hips were tiff today (even though I gave them a 10 min "warm up" on the bike this morning) so we had to keep stopping. So annoying but it meant we could take in the sight and sounds of the beach between my saying " oh me ole bones.........stretch" <em>211</em> <em>246</em> <BR> Beautiful aftern... Thu, 2 Mar 2017 11:36:13 EST Brilliant Day and a Brilliant Book finished!! We got two walks in yesterday in the end and I am so glad! Yesterday felt like spring had finally arrived; blue sky and brilliant sun. <BR> I should have known it wouldn't last..............yep! rain. <BR> So indoors today and I'll get another workout in in my gym room <BR> <BR> Just finished reading another book- this one is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! . <BR> Tim Weaver -Never Coming Back" and it has lots of twists and turns in the plot to keep your brain working. Brilliantly written but slow to s... Thu, 2 Mar 2017 03:16:40 EST Snappy jokes 4# <BR> The wife left a note on the fridge: <BR> <BR> "It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother." <BR> <BR> I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold. <BR> <BR> I wonder what the hell she is talking about? <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> (I had to read it twice too LOL) Thu, 2 Mar 2017 02:44:17 EST Snappy jokes 3# An Englishman says to his friend, the Scotsman, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants. <BR> <BR> "I go in at well past 9 o'clock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, port and a cigar, come 2 a.m., as they are clearing everything away, I just keep sitting there until eventually waiter comes up and asks me to pay. Then I say, “I've already paid your colleague, who has left.” <BR> <BR> The Scotsman is impressed, and says, "Let's try it together,... Wed, 1 Mar 2017 03:19:06 EST Snappy jokes 2# Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. <BR> <BR> "I juggle them in my act." <BR> <BR> "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. <BR> <BR> A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!" <BR> Tue, 28 Feb 2017 03:29:02 EST Finally saw the beach yesterday! YA! I trust your weekends went well. <BR> Not much to report here, finally got a good walk in on the beach yesterday with Pete but the ole hips started playing up so still short of getting to the Pier Head and back! But it was enjoyable. <BR> Miserable weather-wise again today so glad we made the most of it yesterday. <BR> Mon, 27 Feb 2017 02:57:03 EST Snappy jokes 1# When I drink alcohol people say I am an alcoholic. When I drink fanta, no one says I am fantastic. Mon, 27 Feb 2017 02:48:45 EST The watch Jack is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks <BR> “Have you got the time?” <BR> <BR> Jack sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. “It’s a quarter to six,” he says. <BR> <BR> “Hey, that’s a pretty fancy watch!” exclaims the stranger. <BR> <BR> Jack brightens a little. “Yeah, it’s not bad. Check this out” – and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world... Sun, 26 Feb 2017 06:58:24 EST Thoughts of the day 5 and last one! TODAY'S SHORT READING FROM THE BIBLE <BR> From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found <BR> in all corners of the earth." Then he made the earth a globe... and he has had the <BR> last laugh ever since. <BR> Sun, 26 Feb 2017 02:11:07 EST Thoughts of the day 4# HE MUST PAY <BR> Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me <BR> again, I am coming to live with you." Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. <BR> I am coming to live with you. <BR> Sat, 25 Feb 2017 02:39:23 EST Thoughts of the day 3# THE PHONE <BR> <BR> A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first <BR> wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone <BR> and explained to her all of its features. She was excited to receive the gift and simply <BR> adored her new phone. The next day She went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her <BR> astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi darling," he said, "how do you <BR> like your new phone?" She re... Fri, 24 Feb 2017 02:50:26 EST On this dull miserable day this tune has perked me up days to come <BR> <link> </link> Thu, 23 Feb 2017 02:35:32 EST Thoughts of the day 2# WATER IN THE CARBURETOR <BR> WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." <BR> HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous " <BR> WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." <BR> HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car? <BR> WIFE: "In the pool". <BR> [Clearly no knowledge of fuel injection!] <BR> Thu, 23 Feb 2017 02:21:56 EST Plans for today I'll be in the garden before brekkie for an hour or so, then I'll get TnT done (team challenge) using lower weights than normal as I don't want to stress my hips........then all being well, a walk later with DH after Prime Minister's Question Time .........gotta keep up with the news on Brexit and delight in watching Corbyn make a fool of himself ...again! <em>246</em> Wed, 22 Feb 2017 03:53:35 EST Thoughts of the day 1# AVOCADOS <BR> A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of <BR> milk and if they have avocados, get 6. A short time later the husband comes back with <BR> 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, <BR> <BR> "They had avocados." <BR> <BR> If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men'll get it the first time. <BR> Wed, 22 Feb 2017 02:59:19 EST I've had a lovely day Don't you just appreciate good health more after a period of non-mobility? <BR> <BR> I thought today I 'd just get the inside of the windows cleaned, a few spring cleaning jobs (not that our bungalow collects dirt LOL) and a spot of gardening. <BR> <BR> As it was I; <BR> 1) had a 20 walk to Jayjays and sat for a while in the sun drinking in the vista. <BR> 2) Got all the windows and glass doors cleaned inside, <BR> 3) all the housework and lino floors steam cleaned. <BR> and 95 mins of gard... Tue, 21 Feb 2017 12:43:49 EST ANY progress, is still progress at my Sparkfriend Joy says Started my spring cleaning yesterday and got all the windows cleaned outside yesterday and their frames etc, today I'll finish up indoors, <BR> It's so beautiful out there I might weed the paths- can't get to the borders at the mo as the grass and earth are too wet from overnight rain....and I'm wary or bending down and getting up with these blessed hips right now so probably just as well..........................but at least I'll be outside! and get something done <em>104</em> Tue, 21 Feb 2017 03:22:15 EST Feel encouraged Pete and I went for a beach walk yesterday and I wanted to get at least to Jayjay's cafe and back without my hip playing up and wanted to aim for the Pier Head. <BR> As it was when we got to the Pier Hotel (about 10 mins walk from the Pier Head) I could feel my hip "pinging and pulling". <BR> I was So tempted to push on....but I ain't gonna heel if I do daft things like that am I? <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> So we stopped and took in the view; the myriad of other walkers with dogs and kids on t... Mon, 20 Feb 2017 03:36:19 EST Bear Remover A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." <BR> <BR> He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. <BR> The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. <BR> <BR> "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? <BR> <BR> "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up ... Mon, 20 Feb 2017 03:24:27 EST Bless every woman LOL 13th and last one! <img src=""> Sun, 19 Feb 2017 03:31:26 EST Bless every woman LOL 12# <img src=""> Sat, 18 Feb 2017 02:27:46 EST Bless every woman LOL 11# <img src=""> Fri, 17 Feb 2017 02:57:33 EST Bless every woman LOL 10 <img src=""> Thu, 16 Feb 2017 02:52:13 EST Bless every woman LOL 9# <img src=""> Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:57:16 EST Loved a Valentine's Day walk We went for a walk yesterday and although I regretted it due to my sciatica playing up when we got back I would not have missed it for the world; sun on my face, seagulls calling, waves hitting the beach and a refreshing breeze...gorgeous! <BR> DH and I held hands and giggled like teenagers, he says he doesn't "do romantic" but he is in so many ways. <BR> We actually met on 16th Feb 1974 and so we celebrate that date as our anniversary as we never married. Trouble is..........every year he n... Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:53:47 EST Bless every woman LOL 8# <img src=""> Tue, 14 Feb 2017 02:50:27 EST Bless every woman LOL 7# <img src=""> Mon, 13 Feb 2017 02:44:50 EST Bless every woman LOL 6# <img src=""> <BR> <BR> we don't hate each we spark pals?! NO, of course not, only a man would think such a thing <em>246</em> Sun, 12 Feb 2017 03:02:29 EST Bless every woman LOL 5# <img src=""> Sat, 11 Feb 2017 03:20:45 EST