NEW-CAZ's SparkPeople Blog NEW-CAZ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community After a long and sleepless bonus today didn't sleep so good last night and this tune popped into my head. so I'm sharing it with you <BR> <link> </link> Thu, 20 Jul 2017 07:13:51 EST Not so much Pulp Fiction as Pulp "action" <link> </link> Thu, 20 Jul 2017 03:08:22 EST Not so much Pulp Fiction as Pulp "action" <link> </link> Thu, 20 Jul 2017 03:08:21 EST Walk like an Egyptian sing a long, boogie in your seat............................. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Wed, 19 Jul 2017 03:29:34 EST Is it getting hot In here? My temperature is's yours <BR> <BR> <link><BR>list=RD0m6MjsMXZ8I&index=2 </link> Tue, 18 Jul 2017 03:05:55 EST i LOVE MY LIFE! You guys seem to like Mr Robbie Williams as much as I do (the swing music blogs a few days back) <BR> This one’s more current and was written for his children, the words are magical. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Mon, 17 Jul 2017 02:37:23 EST i LOVE MY LIFE! You guys seem to like Mr Robbie Williams as much as I do (the swing music blogs a few days back) <BR> This one’s more current and was written for his children, the words are magical. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Mon, 17 Jul 2017 02:37:21 EST oh to be 23 again LOL <BR> <link> </link> Sun, 16 Jul 2017 02:32:28 EST Quick-fires 15# last one Q: What did the pen say to the pencil? <BR> <BR> A: What's your point? <BR> Sun, 16 Jul 2017 02:31:11 EST Quick-fires 14# Q: What size of soap does a judge use? <BR> <BR> A: Trial size! <BR> Sat, 15 Jul 2017 02:31:53 EST Wakey wakey.............. The rock-chick in me will always love Tina Turner. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Sat, 15 Jul 2017 02:30:55 EST Quick-fires 13# Q: What is the strongest bird? <BR> <BR> A: A crane! <BR> Fri, 14 Jul 2017 03:33:57 EST Fancy a bit more swing this morning........yeah <link> </link> Fri, 14 Jul 2017 02:49:42 EST a bit of swing today <link> </link> Thu, 13 Jul 2017 03:05:33 EST Your morning dose of uptown funk <link> </link> Wed, 12 Jul 2017 03:32:27 EST Quick-fires 12# Q: What does a cow get when it gets sick? <BR> <BR> A: Moocus! <BR> Wed, 12 Jul 2017 03:08:37 EST Quick-fires 11# Q: How do you make seven an even number? <BR> <BR> A: Take the s out! <BR> Tue, 11 Jul 2017 02:45:08 EST Another toe tapper.......wake up and enjoy :) <link>/ </link> Tue, 11 Jul 2017 02:27:22 EST Wake up it's a beautiful morning............. <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Now tell me you're not smiling or tapping your feet <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Have a wonderful week everyone <em>247</em> Mon, 10 Jul 2017 03:25:52 EST Quick-fires 10# Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. <BR> <BR> "I juggle them in my act." <BR> <BR> "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. <BR> <BR> A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!" <BR> Mon, 10 Jul 2017 03:01:34 EST Quick-fires 9# A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play, so he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. <BR> <BR> After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays." <BR> The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?" <BR> So he goes to a minister who, after all, is a married man and experienced in this matter. <BR> He que... Sun, 9 Jul 2017 03:23:53 EST quick fires 8# <BR> I went to the Doctor, I thought I was shrinking. He said "Can't you just be a little patient ? " <BR> Sat, 8 Jul 2017 03:08:07 EST quick fires 7# I took my wife to the Doctor, she thought she was invisible. When we got there he said "I can't see her 'til next week !" Fri, 7 Jul 2017 03:09:48 EST quick fires 6# <BR> I took my wife to the Doctor. She thought she was Daisy Duck. He said, "I know what's wrong with her, She's suffering from Disney spells !" <BR> Thu, 6 Jul 2017 02:55:55 EST quick fires 5# <BR> Two buddies were getting dressed in the locker room after a workout, when the first man saw something that give him a bit of a shock. <BR> <BR> "How long have you been wearing that bra?" the man asked his friend. <BR> <BR> The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment." <BR> Wed, 5 Jul 2017 02:37:05 EST quick fires 4# <BR> "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror--like all the passengers in his car." <BR> Tue, 4 Jul 2017 02:59:31 EST JULY 4th <BR> Just wanted to wish all my friends across the pond a wonderful 4th July. <BR> Enjoy your celebrations with your family and friends and have a great time. <BR> Tue, 4 Jul 2017 02:56:55 EST quick fires 3# Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." <BR> <BR> Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned." <BR> <BR> Mon, 3 Jul 2017 03:18:31 EST quick fires 2# Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH! <BR> <BR> Management was called and all employees were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed. <BR> <BR> When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside were 250 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH! <BR> Sun, 2 Jul 2017 03:10:33 EST Quick-fires 1# The Mexicans were asked how they felt about Trump's wall. They replied that they were quite upset but they would get over it. Sat, 1 Jul 2017 04:21:06 EST Church ladies with their typewriters Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: <BR> -------------------------- <BR> <BR> The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. <BR> -------------------------- <BR> <BR> Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children. <BR> -------------------------- <BR> <BR> The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Wate... Wed, 28 Jun 2017 02:55:37 EST Life is good Had a wonderful walk down the beach yesterday and yes the hip complained a bit but I carried on at a gentler pace and was glad I did; I saw so many familiar faces I hadn't seen for a while and ended up having catch-ups with all of them. <BR> When I got home DH said I'd been so long he was thinking of sending out a search party <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Got some indoor chores to get done today then I'll get out for another walk later. Tue, 27 Jun 2017 03:10:41 EST Groaners but'll make you smile 6# and final one Q: What did one skunk say to the other skunk when they were cornered? <BR> <BR> A: "Let us spray." <BR> Sat, 24 Jun 2017 02:54:08 EST Groaners but'll make you smile 5# <BR> Q: What are two things you don't eat for breakfast? <BR> <BR> A: Lunch and dinner. <BR> <em>211</em> Fri, 23 Jun 2017 03:32:04 EST Groaners but'll make you smile 4# Q: Why was the sick man arrested in his car? <BR> <BR> A: For Driving Under the Influenza. <BR> Thu, 22 Jun 2017 02:58:42 EST Groaners but'll make you smile 3# Q: Why did Donald Duck go to college? <BR> <BR> A: He wanted to be a wise quacker. <BR> Wed, 21 Jun 2017 03:30:07 EST Groaners but'll make you smile 2# Q: What do you call a Fairy that doesn't take baths? <BR> <BR> A: Stinkerbell. <BR> Tue, 20 Jun 2017 03:17:34 EST Groaners but'll make you smile 1# Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest? <BR> <BR> A: Look at the orange mama laid. <BR> Mon, 19 Jun 2017 01:46:13 EST Ask a man to do something LOL My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. <BR> <BR> So I grabbed a harassed and tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" <BR> <BR> The produce guy looked at me and said, "No, sir, you'll have to do that yourself." <BR> Sun, 18 Jun 2017 03:00:21 EST The perfect wife LOL Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?" <BR> <BR> John: "I haven't found the right woman yet." <BR> <BR> George: "So what are you looking for?" <BR> <BR> John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle finances, have a forgiving personality -- and money, she's got to have money, and if she has her own house it wouldn't hurt either." <BR> <BR> George: "A woman like that would be crazy t... Sat, 17 Jun 2017 03:07:26 EST Learning to count LOL There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him and addition question. So they uncle asked, "What is three plus four?" <BR> <BR> The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven." <BR> <BR> The uncle said, "Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now pu... Fri, 16 Jun 2017 03:26:10 EST Who needs friends like this LOL A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. <BR> <BR> "Where's Henry?" <BR> <BR> "Henry passed out. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." <BR> <BR> "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" <BR> <BR> "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry." <BR> Thu, 15 Jun 2017 03:34:49 EST Roll over Beethoven LOL <BR> Two grave diggers are working in a cemetery in Vienna one night, when they hear scuffling coming from one of the graves. At first they are terrified, but morbid curiosity gets the better of them and they unearth the grave. They hear some hushed rubbing and scraping sounds coming from inside the coffin. Hands shaking, they pull off the lid. Inside; they find Beethoven's skeleton, furiously erasing notes off of old scores. <BR> <BR> "Wha-," one of the grave diggers is petrified, "What ar... Wed, 14 Jun 2017 02:55:17 EST 60th High School Reunion He was a widower and she a widow. <BR> <BR> They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. <BR> <BR> This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. <BR> <BR> They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. <BR> The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. <BR> The widow smiling coyly back at him. <BR> <BR> Finally, he picked up co... Tue, 13 Jun 2017 03:01:26 EST Monday giggle Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: <BR> <BR> "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologise for this mistake and inconvenie... Mon, 12 Jun 2017 02:56:46 EST Show was amazing It was a great show last night and my feet need a rub from all the dancing and I'm hoarse from singing....well screeching.......along to the band. My ears were ringing too from the loud music and it took a while to get off sleep <BR> <BR> It was a tribute band for Status Quo featuring their original drummer. <BR> These ones had everyone on their feet at the end <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <link> </link> Sun, 11 Jun 2017 03:09:58 EST Saturday Giggle WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." <BR> HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous " <BR> WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." <BR> HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car? <BR> WIFE: "In the pool" <BR> Sat, 10 Jun 2017 03:02:12 EST tip of the day; LOL <BR> Film Lovers: Recreate the excitement of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds' by walking along Brighton seafront with an open tray of chips. <BR> Fri, 9 Jun 2017 03:12:45 EST Quick-fires 10# My girlfriend has nicknamed me 'Snoopy' <BR> Well at least that's what she put in her diary. <BR> Thu, 8 Jun 2017 03:20:02 EST Uncertain times Another mini fear of a terrorist attack yesterday when 2 suspicious vans were investigated near the new USA embassy in London, they did controlled explosions of them to ensure public safety. No one hurt. <BR> Phoned Jackie last night and she's decided to not go to the London hair salon anymore where her daughter works and does her hair for her for fear of an attack but I said your daughter has to travel in every day and if you don't THEY'VE WON! <BR> <BR> Talking of hair appts, I have mine t... Thu, 8 Jun 2017 03:18:50 EST