NEW-CAZ's SparkPeople Blog NEW-CAZ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Teaching English ! A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle, where he has spent years teaching the natives, when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. <BR> So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. <BR> He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." <BR> The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." <BR> The Priest is pleased with the response. <BR> They walk a little further and he points to... Sat, 25 Apr 2015 03:39:46 EST There's an election on May 7th in the UK- timely warning :) This one gets usually trotted out at election time. BUT it''s a good reminder that we need to look for the reality beneath the gloss. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> While walking down the street one day a M ember of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies. <BR> <BR> His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. <BR> <BR> 'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. <BR> <BR> <BR> 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom s... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 06:50:45 EST understand, right? A sixty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight... . <BR> Her husband watches her for a while and asks, <BR> "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look, w hat's the matter with you?" <BR> The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, <BR> "I don't care, I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old".. <BR> The husband replies , <BR> "What did he say about ... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 03:55:18 EST Going to the Doctor The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. <BR> <BR> His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" <BR> <BR> He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." <BR> <BR> She says, "Why, are you sick?" <BR> <BR> He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." <BR> <BR> Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. <BR> <BR> He says, "... Thu, 23 Apr 2015 03:40:47 EST Mating Call. Very funny Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. <BR> <BR> 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, <BR> 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! <BR> He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. <BR> <BR> The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,. <BR> 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?' <BR> <BR... Tue, 21 Apr 2015 03:36:58 EST Elections coming up in the UK <img src=""> Fri, 17 Apr 2015 03:31:02 EST For those of you disappointed yesterday Hunky Firemen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> any one need a cold shower <em>18</em> <em>211</em> <em>246</em> Thu, 16 Apr 2015 02:59:08 EST Hunky Firemen and ponderings The firemen called for a scheduled fire check ( the whole area is being visited) but Pete was in the shower so I suggested they call back. Then they asked about various aspects of fire safety and said they were pretty sure we were safe as the bungalow was obviously well cared for (unlike some on the nearby council estate…….if you know what I mean!). so I said well we’re pretty safety conscious so if they wanted to skip the viewing that’s fine although I’d miss having two hunky fir... Wed, 15 Apr 2015 03:31:14 EST Loving the heat Well it's meant to be the hottest day of the year so far today reaching 23-25! <BR> I still didn't get my trellises wood stained yesterday- time got away from me, so the plan is to do that this morning and enjoy the sun. <BR> <BR> I've had my walk already this morning and now the weather is warmer joggers were in capri pant and skimpy tops............and the men were showing off their pecs LOL........................makes me smile to see so many people taking care of themselves. There are mo... Tue, 14 Apr 2015 03:26:45 EST NEXT BLC challenge BLC28 To all my friends on SP I gotta tell you I am hooked on BLC. <BR> No I don't have any weight to lose being a maintainer- but there is an amazing team for those of you like me Powerful Prism Panthers and WE ROCK. <BR> <BR> What do I get out of it? <BR> Fun/ friendship/ great challenges/ great chat on the chat thread/meeting new characters and learning of their way of life- and that is so varied (as it on SP in general), new ways to exercise and more tips on all manner of things from health to... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 12:17:59 EST English, a strange language Only the British could put it this way..... <BR> <BR> Here are some complaints received by various local Housing Councils in Britain: <BR> <BR> 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. <BR> <BR> 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my <BR> knob off. <BR> <BR> 3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he <BR> put his foot in the hole in his back passage. <BR> <BR> 4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging ... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 03:30:45 EST Still a little smoggy (if that's a word LOL) Still waiting for the air to clear before I go out and woodstain all our trellises in the garden. <BR> Hoping to have our gardener friend, Peter and his wife, Monika, over for drinks and chat tonight but my Pete was not at all well last night- if he's no better today we'll cancel. Sat, 11 Apr 2015 03:08:14 EST Sahara smog hits us again <link><BR>ther-toxic-cocktail-smog-5488196 </link> <BR> <BR> I remember last year when this happened and STUPIDLY I insisted on my morning walk. I recall how "hard going" it was to breathe- so this time I've learned my lesson.............keep indoors, apart from getting the groceries today Fri, 10 Apr 2015 02:13:12 EST Sahara smog hits us again <link><BR>ther-toxic-cocktail-smog-5488196 </link> <BR> <BR> I remember last year when this happened and STUPIDLY I insisted on my morning walk. I recall how "hard going" it was to breathe- so this time I've learned my lesson.............keep indoors, apart from getting the groceries today Fri, 10 Apr 2015 02:12:44 EST The beach is gearing up for summer :) Today we have a sea mist, looks so soft focused out there - almost romantic. <BR> Walking along the sea front this morning I know I'll bump into the local walking club (which includes some wheelchair users pushed by their carers and they are always giggling!), some dog walkers and some of the locals- for some reason the world and his wife are down there on Thursdays. <BR> I noticed on Tuesday that the bouncy castle and childrens' fair rides are being erected at the pier head end of the beac... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 03:43:34 EST Life is good I cannot believe this weather, yesterday it was so warm I was in T-shirt and capri pants while gardening and already it's warm today Fine day for laundry and more gardening. We had lunch in the garden yesterday and I was thinking to sunbathe! Yes that warm. That's my plan today- get the laundry done, finish the garden then relax and listen to the birds. <BR> <BR> But first I'm hitting my gym! <em>323</em> <em>328</em> Wed, 8 Apr 2015 03:14:40 EST USB stick for seniors. Soon it will be compulsory for the elderly to not only carry their ID with them, but also their insurance papers, their list of medication and a compact version of their medical history, their views about resuscitation after a cardiac arrest etc, etc. <BR> So, when an older person wants to go out he or she will need to carry a lot of paperwork!! <BR> That is why there has been developed a special USB stick for seniors. <BR> <BR> Have a look - - - - - - <BR> Available soon, but only on prescr... Tue, 7 Apr 2015 11:42:25 EST Seniors Banking .... Priceless Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times. <BR> <BR> Dear Sir: <BR> <BR> I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.. <BR> <BR> I refer, of course, to the automa... Mon, 6 Apr 2015 03:53:06 EST woo hoo It promises to be a warm to hot day today so I'm up early and will get the gardening done-mainly weeding and some trimming back. <BR> <BR> Happy Easter Monday <em>247</em> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> Mon, 6 Apr 2015 03:02:35 EST Bog-eyed................ugh! Great celebrations last night and late to bed....feel "bog-eyed" as we say over here <em>33</em> but after brekkie I shall get some ST in and that will wake me up. <BR> Pete's 61st today and I've said whatever he wants to do, we'll do. He said he has no idea except getting over last night LOL <BR> <BR> Oh and I forgot to give John and Vicki their Lindt Chocolate Bunnies so I'll have to trot round and deliver them..........if my banging head allows. No booze, just a very late night does th... Sun, 5 Apr 2015 03:33:06 EST Bargain Gardening.................Birthday Weekend this Easter :) Well I got the lawns cut and just in time- our gardener friend, Peter, called and scarified all three this afternoon and I was amazed what came out of them. We havea garden waste recycling bin that comes up to my shoulder and I'm only 5'2" and it's FULL!! <em>40</em> <BR> And he only charged £20! for 3 hours work <em>345</em> <BR> <BR> Pete's 61st is on Sunday and our friend Vicki has her 60th on Monday so we're off for to a beach-side restaurant for a meal Saturday then back to ours... Thu, 2 Apr 2015 12:03:36 EST Hang onto your sense of humour LOL This is a lovely bit of true Country an Western Humour in song you Gotta watch I love it <BR> <link><BR>l=0 </link> <BR> <BR> Aren't you glad you found SP to keep you looking good naked <em>211</em> <em>344</em> <em>252</em> <em>246</em> Thu, 2 Apr 2015 03:52:47 EST Seeing is believing..................................????? <link> </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> Wed, 1 Apr 2015 03:14:01 EST In An English Country Garden Enjoy! <BR> <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> Mon, 30 Mar 2015 04:00:09 EST Post Tortoise While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in a cattle crush gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders. The old farmer said, "Well, as I see it, most politicians are 'Post Tortoises'.’' Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post tortoise' was. The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road and you c... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 03:58:52 EST LONG, SEXY MUSCLES IN 50 MIN - Beginner Fitness and Workout Series <link><BR>list=PLsPcs4lOzaD2LUs2KcUDUSTwbWNyUHZaB </link> Sat, 28 Mar 2015 04:27:25 EST I love our neighbours Norfolk folk are so kind! <BR> <BR> Remember last spring I struggled to scarify (aerate and remove moss and weeds) from our largest of three lawns and nigh on did myself an injury ( three- nearly four hours with a rake <em>198</em> ) and that when I mentioned it to our gardening expert neighbour, Pete, he offered to do the other two with his electric scarifier and did so in an hour flat (in-between chatting to us LOL). <BR> Well I just saw him outside his place on my morning walk, had a c... Fri, 27 Mar 2015 07:47:21 EST How to Resist Junk Food Cravings <link><BR>thy-eating/tips/prevent-pigouts/?sssdm<BR>h=dm17.791179&esrc=nwfitdailytip032615 </link> Thu, 26 Mar 2015 11:03:50 EST Black hole <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Thanks Gaye for sending me this- very clever <em>334</em> Wed, 25 Mar 2015 04:19:50 EST A REFRESHER ON THE SUBJECT Self CPR 1. Let's say it's 7.25 pm and you're going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job. <BR> <BR> 2. You're really tired and frustrated. <BR> <BR> 3. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. <BR> <BR> 4. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far. <BR> <BR> 5. You have been trained in ... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 11:08:01 EST For those who enjoy trivia It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times! <BR> <BR> Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years. <BR> <BR> Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end. <BR> <BR> If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off. <BR> <BR> Each year 2,000,000 ... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 05:14:31 EST :) An elderly couple was at home watching TV. <BR> Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. <BR> Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said: <BR> "For goodness sake Phil, Leave it on the porn channel. <BR> You know how to fish!" <BR> Sat, 21 Mar 2015 11:22:28 EST Scottish Dancing with a twist :) <link><BR>st=UUqEobfdxKqbf7X-cUh9Ul0Q </link> Sat, 21 Mar 2015 04:37:50 EST Scanner conquered ...missed the eclipse I was so disappointed not to see the eclipse- way too cloudy here. We have to wait to 2026 now. North America get one next year so the eclipse chasers will be booking up for that one no doubt. <BR> <link><BR>nt-31965456 </link> <BR> <BR> The supermarket food scanner has been conquered <em>248</em> <em>246</em> I love it!. <img src=""> Sat, 21 Mar 2015 04:27:09 EST The dreaded scanner <img src="">A bit of a mixed bag today, workout, cut Pete's hair (if I can get him to sit still long enough LOL) and a major food shop. Might try the self serve scanner as I go round and then pay- rather than use the checkout...wish me and I don't usually make good bedfellows LOL Fri, 20 Mar 2015 04:26:08 EST Don't believe the weather forecast - lesson learned I'm never going to believe the weathermen ever's not sunny it's overcast and flippin cold!! Now the locals on my walk yesterday knew it was turning and our weather station warned us so why did I listen to the TV report <em>198</em> <BR> Any this morning for an hour and I'll wrap up and brave the cold and get the lawns finished. Pray for a dry day please so I get Pete to put down the weed and feed on the lawns! <BR> We're due a solar eclipse tomorrow morning... Thu, 19 Mar 2015 05:06:43 EST Today's Chuckle An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening. <BR> She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. <BR> The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. <BR> While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, <BR> "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you sti... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 04:32:19 EST Could be a good evening Thinking of booking up for this! <BR> <BR> <link><BR>epeat.detail/2015/03/30/1204/-/dreambo<BR>ats-miniskirts.html </link> <BR> <BR> I fancy a night out!! Sun, 15 Mar 2015 04:40:59 EST The Explanation Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so, too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full. <BR> <BR> Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline. The human brain works slower in old age, said... Sun, 15 Mar 2015 04:40:03 EST Telll me you can resist popping............don't believe you LOL <img src=""> Sat, 14 Mar 2015 08:22:09 EST Dog Whisperer extraordinare LOL I've not walked my long walk this morning instead I stopped at Jayjay's cafe and spent time with some people I've got to know over a cuppa. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Had a lovely catch up. I'm now known as the "Dog Whisperer" LOL as all the dogs down there today came and said hello! Nice to be loved <em>246</em> <em>338</em> <em>200</em> <em>26</em> Fri, 13 Mar 2015 07:13:15 EST Yep, know this feeling LOL <img src=""> Fri, 13 Mar 2015 04:03:46 EST Why retirees are always so happy :) <img src=""> Thu, 12 Mar 2015 08:15:51 EST When you need advice there is only one person to go to LOL <img src=""> Wed, 11 Mar 2015 07:50:44 EST Finally................... <img src=""> Tue, 10 Mar 2015 04:35:17 EST Every little all adds up LOL <img src=""> Sun, 8 Mar 2015 07:39:52 EST Gardening is a great workout i was about to write reams but came across this article and it says it I'll be lazy and just post the link <em>20</em> <em>246</em> <BR> <link><BR>physical-activity-weight-loss/ </link> Sat, 7 Mar 2015 12:31:10 EST Stop that LOL <img src=""> Fri, 6 Mar 2015 04:28:20 EST birthday boy LOL <img src=""> Thu, 5 Mar 2015 03:50:53 EST Blowing Bubbles - A Good Watch <link><BR>836TFI?rel=0 </link> Wed, 4 Mar 2015 03:31:32 EST