NETTYBREAD's SparkPeople Blog NETTYBREAD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Coping Skills <em>334</em> Day 24 Binge Free and Day 4 Prozac <BR> <BR> This week has been a VERY emotional week. I am so proud of myself for using healthy coping skills when feeling: Sad, Hurt, Angry, Frustrated, Fearful, Bored, Tired, Etc... <BR> <BR> Deep Breathing w/ eyes closed... <BR> Listen to Music <BR> Go for a drive <BR> Sit at the library <BR> Sit in basement room <BR> Stretch / Light hand weights <BR> Text Friends <BR> Email Friends <BR> Call Friends <BR> Spark-People Blogs / Message Board... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 16:20:56 EST Reflection: <em>67</em> Yes, today is a brand-new-day. I feel so much better this morning, and I am ready to reflect on yesterday. <BR> <BR> THANK you so much to EVERYONE who made comments on my blog. I truly FELT your love, support, and prayers. Having people cheering for me was so helpful. <BR> <BR> I woke up yesterday hungry. I ate a piece of bread about 2:30 A.M. (45 calories) I think the bread hurt my stomach. I woke up with a sharp pain in my stomach. I don't usually need to eat much before my ... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:43:36 EST tough day... Hard day... <BR> <BR> I ate 5 hard candies (no big deal really) I added them to my nutrition tracker. <BR> <BR> Just feel sad... Don't want to spin back into total anxiety / craziness that I was in 2 weeks ago. Uggg... <BR> <BR> But.... I hope you all had a great day!!! <BR> <BR> <em>26</em> <BR> Netty Wed, 23 Jan 2013 18:24:23 EST Got Prozac? I do... Just got back from the doctor. I am anxious and nervous. Just need some love and support. <BR> <BR> <em>247</em> Tue, 22 Jan 2013 20:55:57 EST V Blog Therapy 1 Hopefully this will work.... I know it takes a little while to upload. SO, check back later if it isn't working yet. *HUGS* Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:56:28 EST Make IT Happen Things are going well for me. This is Day 19 No Binge / Purge. I have lost weight and "Stopped" crazy eating so many times. <BR> <BR> So, what's different this time... <BR> <BR> My HEAD... <BR> <BR> I am finally ready to tackle the "real" issues that cause me to over-eat. <BR> <BR> Today is Day #1 with a new therapist. I am very excited, but I am also scared and nervous. <BR> <BR> I hope you all have a great day!!! <BR> <BR> Make it HAPPEN. <BR> <BR> <em>26</em> <BR> Netty <BR> ... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 08:37:08 EST To Change <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I had a very bad trigger last night... A Person. Wanted to eat. Did NOT eat. Had a piece of gum and put on some essential oils and went to bed. Yay! Me <BR> <BR> Trying to Change-Mature-Create-Endlessly <BR> <BR> I like this quote. It's a great way to think of change. All of us are trying to become "better" people. We don't like practicing our bad habits over and over. <BR> <BR> What would I like to create Endl... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 05:03:32 EST Baby Step Goal Daily Visualization <BR> <BR> For today's visualization, focus on the next small milestone you'd like to accomplish. Sometimes, thinking about the baby steps (the next five pounds) can be much more manageable than always focusing on the long-term outcome (reaching your goal weight). Remember this whenever your weight-loss journey seems overwhelming. <BR> <BR> Obviously my daily, short-term, mid-range, and long term goals have everything to do with no binge-ing. But... I wanted to set 1 mor... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 07:33:01 EST Hair-Cut and... Day 15 <BR> <BR> I am so thankful for all the love and support my friends, family, co-workers, church friends, spark-friends, I am overwhelmed still by all the love and support. I truly wish I could see what you all saw in me a long time ago. But... so better NOW than Never. <BR> <BR> I had debated about making Ben and Whitney videos of me so they had something (crazy thoughts) but now... I feel like I am really going to be ok and make it through this. Still one-day-at-a-time. <BR> <BR> I... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 21:34:33 EST The Good and The Bad... The Good: <BR> <BR> Day 14 No binges <BR> Healthy Eating <BR> Moderate Exercise <BR> Running... <BR> MUSIC :) <BR> Feelings... <BR> Some Peace <BR> Day School <BR> No crying <BR> Positive Attitude <BR> Lots of Support <BR> Lots of Hugs <BR> Lots of LOVE <BR> Family <BR> Friends <BR> Phone Call <BR> Evening Chats <BR> Spark People <BR> New Book (from friend) <BR> New Bracelet (from friend) <BR> No Diet Coke <BR> Lots of WATER <BR> Strawberries <BR> Bananas <BR> Spinach <BR> Tasting Food <B... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 23:01:06 EST No more... SCALES <em>192</em> <BR> I told my husband this morning to throw out the scale. SERIOUSLY... <BR> <BR> I have felt really good the past 13 days of no binge-ing. I haven't really had any urges to overeat. I have had all kinds of feelings, and I have been trying my best to feel them and deal with them appropriately. I am identifying my triggers and learning coping skills to deal with them, etc... <BR> <BR> So, DH is trying to eat healthier also. He is weighing in once a week. I, of course, was ob... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 17:49:15 EST Power of Prayer <em>67</em> Day 12 Binge-Free <BR> <BR> I believe in the power of prayer. Thank you to all those who have prayed for me the last week. I feel your love and prayers. Today was the first day in a long, long, long time that I felt like just "Netty". <BR> <BR> Last night, I went to an LDS 12-step meeting and was so overwhelmed by evil feelings and just broke down and said so at the meeting and expressed how LOW I felt and how ready I was for these feelings to leave my body. <BR> <BR> The ... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 22:56:10 EST Future Netty Daily Visualization <BR> <BR> Today, imagine your "future self" giving your past (or current) self a hug. See your future self thanking your past self for having the courage to move forward in this healthy lifestyle journey. How does it feel to look back on your former self with new eyes? <BR> <BR> ***This was today's Spark-Coach Visualization*** <BR> <BR> Future Self to Netty Now: Thank you for having the courage to move forward in this healthy lifestyle journey. <BR> <BR> How does it ... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 08:58:14 EST I am Bulimic <em>220</em> <BR> <BR> Sadly or Proudly I say: Hi, I am Lynette, and I am bulimic. <BR> <BR> I am trying to proudly saying, "Hi, I am Lynette." But so sadly I say, "I am bulimic." I have been bulimic the past 10 years. After my 2nd child was born, I weighed 225 pounds. I went to WW and lost 90 pounds and yo-yo’d up and down a little. When my weight started really creeping back up, I panicked thinking about becoming “heavy” again. I would go months without an episode, usually when I ... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 06:16:29 EST Retiring Marathoner I, Lynette Miller, am retiring from Marathon Running and All Triathlons <BR> <BR> With a very, very heavy <em>26</em> I am announcing my retirement from ALL Marathon Running and ALL triathlons. <BR> <BR> To some... this may seem extreme. Why all and aren't these healthy activities? <BR> <BR> In a Nut-Shell: <BR> As I reflected on what "triggers" my E-D Long-Distance Training came to mind. <BR> Why? When I train, my food intake HAS to change from my normal every day eating. <BR> <BR> ... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:01:40 EST Miracle and DH Truly a Miracle. <BR> <BR> The past two days have been pure hell. My DH and I were barely talking I wasn't sure how he was feeling. He just seemed bugged and angry at me, and he even mentioned angry at himself in our brief conversation after I dropped the bomb on him that I am a raging alcoholic in the form of bulimia and have a serious ED. I was starting to seriously worry if our marriage was in danger. I was totally thinking that I should have just continued on with my ED and that it wasn'... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 23:42:27 EST Spark Coach Visualization Daily Visualization <BR> <BR> Let's start with a quick visualization exercise. For 30 seconds, imagine yourself sitting alone on a beach, listening to the waves crashing along the shore. Let the calming sounds, sights and smells center you and help you focus on the goals you would like to accomplish today. <BR> <BR> Just what I needed today: <BR> Peace <BR> Calmness <BR> <BR> Today's goals to accomplish: <BR> <BR> To have patience. <BR> To Listen <BR> To use healthy coping skills <BR> <... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 07:22:28 EST Very Sad <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> I don't know why I'm writing this...... I am hoping more so that one day I can remember and learn from this experience. When I am at peace with my Eating Disorder. Where I could even possibly thank it??? for shaping who I am in the future. <BR> <BR> I wonder if posting things on a Spark-Message-Board or on a Blog is wise or self-serving or something negative. I worry that maybe I will be mis-judged or mis-under-stood, BUT... <BR> <BR> I do believe this is the right... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 22:11:52 EST Worst Resolutuion... I saw an article titled: "Worst New Year's Resolution You Could Make" and all I immediately thought was: <BR> <BR> *No Resolution* <BR> <BR> If you don't have hope and actually set a resolution, then how can you reach your goal, your dreams, your BEST YOU. <BR> <BR> *I haven't read the article yet. Now, I have to go read it and see what it says. <BR> <BR> I'm back... just went and read the article. <BR> <BR> So, it's about "Revamping" and really setting better resolutions. Continue to re... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 01:50:53 EST Positive Energy <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Oh boy! Do they ever <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> Spark-Coach-Daily Visualization: <BR> ***I didn't like the daily visualization question today, but I loved the woo-hoo quote above. <BR> <BR> I am so thankful to be a teacher and to go back to work today. I have my own 2 wonderful children at home and have enjoyed them so much over the past 2 weeks, but I am so ready to go and serve and love my classroom kids too. <... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 07:23:25 EST Spark - Book Spark Book and Daily Reflections <BR> <BR> I bought the Spark awhile ago. I actually have a real copy and a copy on my phone. Today, I discovered the book - bonus site and it motivated me to actually read and maybe apply some of the things I am learning from it. <BR> <BR> I decided to try to recruit a few people to read the Spark Book with me in-person. I am really hoping this will work out. A few members from the Utah Spark Team and a few friends I know that want to get going on Spark-Peop... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 22:14:46 EST Daily Visualization Daily Visualization: <BR> <BR> Today, picture yourself at your goal weight, working out effortlessly alongside your former self. You see your former self struggling with exercises that have now become easy. How does it feel to see yourself on both sides of your journey? What habits can you work on today to get one step closer to your future, improved self? <BR> <BR> *Interesting Thoughts Today* <BR> - This is my STRENGTH <BR> - I understand this and am so PROUD of my exercise accomplishme... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 08:54:48 EST Day 3 What's Working: <BR> <BR> *Mental and Planning* <BR> - Logging in to Spark-People in the morning... planning the day. <BR> - Following the Spark-Coach Steps <BR> <BR> *Fitness* <BR> - Exercising at least 30 minutes in the morning <BR> <BR> *Nutrition* <BR> - Eating a Healthy Breakfast with FATS and Protein <BR> - Eating Healthy Snack with FATS and Protein <BR> - Eating a Healthy Lunch with FATS and Protein <BR> - Eating a 2nd Healthy Snack with (you got it) FATS and Protein <BR> <BR> ***T... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 20:34:09 EST Daily Visualization Daily Visualization: <BR> <BR> Picture five things you want in your life, whether they are people, goals, experiences or things. How will reaching your small goals today help you achieve those dreams, too? <BR> <BR> 5 Things I want IN my life: <BR> <BR> People = Family, Friends, Students <BR> Goals = Balance / Contentment / Spiritual Fulfillment <BR> Experiences = *** I think this important and something I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about. What kind of experiences would I like i... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 12:16:21 EST Binging or Bingeing So... I've sadly been writing about bingeing or binging a lot lately, and it has been really bugging me whether you spell binging or bingeing (both seem to be correct) and here was the definition and spelling: <BR> <BR> binge (binj) <BR> n. <BR> 1. A drunken spree or revel. <BR> 2.a. A period of unrestrained, immoderate self-indulgence. <BR> b. A period of excessive or uncontrolled indulgence in food or drink: an eating binge. <BR> <BR> binged, bing·ing or binge·ing, bing·es ... Fri, 4 Jan 2013 15:35:45 EST Today's Visualize and Yesterday's Success Daily Visualization: <BR> <BR> Close your eyes and imagine all of your goals laid out in front of you on a giant billboard. Why do you want to reach those goals so badly and how will they change your life? What choices should you make today to get you one step closer to those goals? <BR> <BR> *I actually don't want to imagine ALL my goals laid out in front of me... just 2-3 would be fine for now. <BR> <BR> What are those goals? <BR> <BR> Why do I want to reach those goals so BADLY? <BR> ... Fri, 4 Jan 2013 07:48:05 EST Response To Visualization Q: How am I making my future self proud? <BR> <BR> I immediately thought, "Isn't this what mothers, teachers, coaches, etc think every day?" I think most humans think of having children be proud of them. <BR> <BR> I am making my future self (and my children) proud by: <BR> Being a great mother. <BR> Being a great teacher. <BR> Trying to be a nice person to all God's children. <BR> Trying to make wise decisions and asking others and God for forgiveness when I do not. <BR> Spending time with ... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 17:38:35 EST Daily Visualization Question Daily Visualization <BR> <BR> Let's start with a quick visualization exercise. Imagine yourself as an elderly person reflecting on what you've done with your life. Think of the path you're on now. Are you making your future self proud? What can you do today to help live a life you can be proud of? <BR> <BR> **This one stings a bit and will be hard. <BR> <BR> I will contemplate this today and mostly focus on the POSITIVE things I am doing with my life. <BR> <BR> But, there are a few negat... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 07:31:54 EST Implementing "Just Right" Now, My next questions... <BR> <BR> What are Netty's "Just Right" nutrition and fitness guidelines and... <BR> How do I implement my "Just Right" nutrition and fitness? <BR> <BR> SO... that I can FEEL successful. <BR> <BR> THE PLAN: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> ***I wish we could just save blogs before we post them*** <BR> I guess I can just go back and edit them :) Wed, 2 Jan 2013 16:30:50 EST Response Daily Visualization Today, imagine that you live in a world where scales do not exist. How would you measure your success? How would you know if you were healthy and fit? <BR> <BR> It wouldn't matter if I lived in a world with or with out scales at this point. I have weighed myself so much in the past that I know almost exactly how much I weigh at any given time without the scale. <BR> <BR> AND... Maybe it's worse that I feel YUCKY even when the scale is being "Nice". <BR> <BR> I have always resented or hated... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 15:31:23 EST Daily Visualization Question Today, imagine that you live in a world where scales do not exist. How would you measure your success? How would you know if you were healthy and fit? <BR> <BR> I am going to contemplate this today and write a response later. <BR> <BR> Have a great day! Wed, 2 Jan 2013 07:50:28 EST A Brand New Day <em>411</em> <BR> <BR> Back to some structure today. I go into work for 1/2 day today. I am working with a small group of kids on math / reading skills. I LOVE my job as a 5th grade teacher. <BR> <BR> Today's Healthy Eating Plan: <BR> <BR> Planned Meals with enough calories to feel satisfied. <BR> Will Meditate, Pray, and Do My own version of Yoga. ESPECIALLY right when I get home. <BR> Will EAT a healthy dinner. <BR> Do Light, Light evening exercise (either elliptical or treadmill at ... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 07:33:59 EST binge... So.... I made it to about 4:30 before my first binge today. <BR> <BR> On the positive.... I am exercising regularly again. <BR> I am being honest about binging. <BR> I am going to blog and fess up to my mistakes. <BR> I binged today because I believe I am in really bad habits again, and it's going to take a little while to establish new healthy habits. <BR> <BR> I know I can do this. I pray for forgiveness. I know I am addicted to food and am willing to be honest and try my best to change. ... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 21:43:29 EST Village Inn Breakfast I usually hate going out to eat. It seems to be a "trigger" for me, and I eat terribly the rest of the day. <BR> <BR> I am trying hard not to let that happen today. <BR> <BR> I went out to breakfast at Village Inn and looked up the menu ahead of time. I saw the nutrition facts for the veggie omlette, fruit, and multi-grain pancakes. They were really delicious. I feel mostly satisfied. I drank water instead of diet coke. Our waitress didn't ever fill up our water, it was busy, but that was ... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 15:30:24 EST Spark Goal My Spark-Goal - Lifelong Healthy Eating. Find Peace with Food. No more binge eating. <BR> <BR> Finding Peace with food absolutely means finding peace with myself. That's why as I try to set a healthy eating goal it has to be connected with my spiritual goal as well. Finding peace with my inner spirit and with God. I need a support team that supports my need to have God and Spirituality in my life. Meditation, Prayer, Any way that I can get out of SELF and turn things over to God. <BR> <BR>... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 07:50:44 EST Today I feel Sad... <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> Truth is... I feel like I keep fooling those around me but not myself and not God. I am trying to forgive myself and love me for me... it is sometimes easier said than done. I do have hope for a brighter new day and new year. Happy~New~Year <BR> <BR> 1 Day ... 1 Second at a Time. I believe God and my Support Groups can help me be just a better, happier, kinder person. One without E-D or any other addiction. If I must be addicted to something it must be PRAYER, Medi... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 02:46:47 EST Christians and Spark People I love that there are so many religious people on Spark People. I feel like that is a huge part of my success... when I can find balance spiritually and physically. <BR> <BR> I have a hard time sharing my religious beliefs in my every-day life... I feel like I've made such a 180 and a lot of my friends do NOT believe in or want to talk about God. I am thankful that I can talk about physical and spiritual things on Spark People <BR> <BR> Truly... Happy~HappY~NEW YEAR!!! Mon, 31 Dec 2012 18:25:41 EST Happy New Year <link> </link> <BR> <BR> I've been blogging a little on my other blog. Lots of thoughts and ideas for 2013. I added in my signature a list of my PRIORITIES rather than just goals. I would like to focus more on what matters most and find the ever eluding ~Balance~ in my life <em>41</em> Mon, 31 Dec 2012 14:43:09 EST Boston ~ Qualifier <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I qualified for Boston today at the Ogden, Utah Marathon. My time was a 3:29:25. I needed to be under 3:40:00 SO... I am going to Boston!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Sat, 19 May 2012 19:46:37 EST I want to live... <link> </link> <BR> <BR> So... I am a *crazy* person and everyone who knows me knows that. Well... Some people may not know that because of my crazy, weird life and personality for as long as I can remember I have felt a little depressed and at times severely depressed. I've never thought of it really as THAT serious, but... I had some crazy coping skills that helped me deny it. <BR> <BR> I have always been completely unafraid of DEATH. I "accidentally" took too ... Sat, 5 May 2012 14:17:44 EST OA and Tools So, I have really struggled over the last 10 years developing a food plan that works for me. Like many other people, I have tried just about everything. <BR> <BR> But.... I think I have finally found a food plan that works for me. <BR> <BR> But But.............. AGAIN... I am reminded that it is definitely NOT just a food plan that needs to be developed. <BR> <BR> So... I am using other tools as well. <BR> <BR> And..... They ARE working. <BR> <BR> Tool #1 Meditate <BR> When Stressed <BR... Thu, 3 May 2012 20:24:48 EST Today is My Birthday And... I finished a race report for once: <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> It's been a *Great* day!!! Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:11:09 EST Body Fat Scale I got my body fat scale in the mail today and... <BR> <BR> Interesting readings: <BR> <BR> Weight: 141 <BR> Body Fat: 22.8% (Not Bad) <BR> Water % 54.4% <BR> <BR> All within normal/avg readings. Yay! <BR> <BR> ***I sometimes "feel" like I have a lot of body fat because of my loose skin from my weight loss of almost 90 pounds (as of today) but... this reading for body fat % reminded me... It's ALL in my own head. Tue, 24 Apr 2012 19:16:40 EST 20 miler 2:43:06 which is 8:06 / Mile <BR> <BR> According to Garmin LOL! <BR> <BR> Felt Pretty Good :) Sat, 21 Apr 2012 14:57:46 EST Just Stopping By... <em>67</em> Today, I am happy and feeling healthy. I am trying to get back into posting and being involved on Spark~People. I like this site but get overwhelmed by it at times. I am looking for a few groups / message boards to stop by and say "hi" in. I miss my Spark~Friends. A lot of my friends have left Spark, so I am looking to find new ones. <BR> <BR> <em>247</em> <em>247</em> Sat, 21 Apr 2012 08:13:22 EST Auto~Pilot <em>67</em> <BR> I realize more and more each and everyday that I like "routines" and that I use my auto~pilot often. <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, my auto pilot says, "Food, Food, Candy, Diet Coke, Bread, Food, Food, Food." <BR> <BR> It's very hard and seems sometimes impossible some days to RE~program my auto pilot. <BR> <BR> That doesn't mean I haven't stopped trying. There is ALWAYS hope right? How could we live if we didn't have hope. Hope is a strong word. A word I appreciate more and... Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:21:43 EST Elizabeth Smart <em>67</em> <BR> So... today I went to a funeral with my husband. It was for an incredible woman and a very touching funeral. I sometimes leave funerals thinking... I am a terrible mother LoL!!! <BR> <BR> I watched part of the 2nd episode of finding Sarah Ferguson. Interesting. The question I pondered today was from Suze (I think) About do you include people in your life that really care about YOU and your family? Don't worry or include the ones that are disrespectful or really don't care ... Mon, 20 Jun 2011 16:19:16 EST Sarah Ferguson The show... Finding Sarah... <BR> <BR> How do you see yourself? <BR> <BR> Does it matter what others think of you? <BR> <BR> What is the meaning of life? <BR> <BR> Do you love yourself? <BR> <BR> Can you honestly say, I have a crush on me? <BR> <BR> What's holding you back? <BR> <BR> Do you believe what others think / say about you? <BR> <BR> Why do you have financial problems? <BR> <BR> Seriously??? These are some hard core questions. <BR> <BR> I found it interesting that Oprah sa... Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:27:08 EST Food Timer... <em>190</em> <BR> <BR> I just want to elaborate on my food / timer idea. <BR> <BR> I am a CONSTANT snacker. I think I am hungry, but for the most part I am BORED or Food just sounds good (because it IS good) but... I am NOT hungry. <BR> <BR> So... Bring into play the TIMER. <BR> <BR> The past few days, I have been planning my meals and this has worked for ME :) Just an idea: <BR> <BR> Wake up 6:00-630 = Coffee <BR> Run / Bike 7:00-8:00 = 8-16 oz. water <BR> <BR> Breakfast 8:30 = Oatme... Thu, 16 Jun 2011 11:38:19 EST Not Sure Not sure why I have been hesitant to blog lately... My mind is spinning as usual. <BR> <BR> So in a nutshell: <BR> <BR> WW weigh in last Sunday = Down 3.8 pounds (1st week) <BR> <BR> Outdoor Swimming in the 50 Meter Pool = 3 days in a row this week. <BR> <BR> Running = Ran with my husband on Sunday and Tuesday. Walking group Tuesday and going for a run this evening with Spark Buddy Amy. <BR> <BR> Food = Back to Old Plan with Weight Watchers <BR> <BR> Food Plan = I like the OA idea of 3 ... Wed, 15 Jun 2011 16:31:37 EST