NEEDHELPNOW911's SparkPeople Blog NEEDHELPNOW911's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I Feel Good I have been exercising every morning after my devotions. I feel good and I am still here. That is so wonderful. Everyone is so supportive and I appreciate that. It has been a week full of ups and downs yet I have been able to focus. I am trying to make sure I get on at least once a day. To help me not sink back into old habits. Moving along slowly. Tomorrow I weigh in and I am excited about it. That is a change for me. <em>41</em> <em>521</em> Fri, 7 Mar 2014 12:35:21 EST Starting a New Week Praise the Lord! I am starting the week right here. I lost several pounds. I know it is because I feel the support from all of you. I just read a sparkpeople article on 9 things to do to help you lose weight. So this week I am going to start eating on a smaller plate for my meals. Please help hold me accountable. <BR> <BR> Small steady steps. <em>304</em> <em>48</em> Sun, 2 Mar 2014 21:47:47 EST I am still here! That may sound funny or a little strange but for me right now that is good. It means I have not given up. I really want to do this not for my husband but for my personal satisfaction. I can't depend on thinking my weight at a lesser number will make someone love me or desire me. I have to love me and desire me. I avoid mirrors. What a sad thing not to be able to really look at yourself. So this has to be all about me. I have to be tired of my knees hurting or using my arms to get up from ... Fri, 28 Feb 2014 13:34:20 EST Taking it one day at a time! Sounds like a cliche but I think it has to become my reality, So many times I seem run a head of myself. So I have decided to take small steps and celebrate each achievement. Today I will log on and tune in. I will log all my food and drink. Then I am going to purpose to appreciate that step. <BR> I will not beat me up about what I eat and celebrate the step in logging. <BR> <BR> One day at a time one step at a time. I am tired of falling by running a head. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://ph... Thu, 20 Feb 2014 12:24:51 EST Day 3 Not feeling alone I got up and walked in the snow for 30 minutes. I really surprised myself. It felt good and the support from everyone truly feels good. So many times I feel like I am alone and that no one truly understands even my husband. I three years of marriage I managed to gain 40lbs and I really can't say what happened. But I know that it caused me to feel alone in this battle. Please pray for me. Tue, 18 Feb 2014 11:14:27 EST Thank you! I am so glad that I found my way back here. I just want to thank those who just encouraged me yesterday. I really did need it. I ate the right amount of calories today I even thought about what was going to eat. I am about to get at least 15 minutes of exercise in right now. I press on tomorrow. It looks like shoveling snow will be my exercise tomorrow. Mon, 17 Feb 2014 19:28:13 EST Crying out for help! So much has happen since my last blog. My husband has cancer and just so much stuff to pull me off point. So I am back again trying to get right. I have tried the South Beach diet too. Yet to some it doesn't appear like I am trying. How do you stay focused with so much going on. Why can't they see I feel like I am drowning. I am just trying to stay a float. Why is it so hard now that I have begun the change. I feel like it is going to have to a full time job just to get back to my original we... Sun, 16 Feb 2014 12:06:35 EST The difficult weekend. That is the only way to describe this past weekend. Everything I wanted to do like get to exercise outside and spend some time on me got turned inside out. It started with Saturday meetings to all the ministry stuff on Sunday. Then I ended with a Sunday evening meeting for the Church launch. My time was just not my time. So I couldn't fit my stuff in. I really have to get to the place that one the weekend no matter how much or where I am I can still do what I need to do to stay focused on m... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 09:07:17 EST Free Bag Lunch & A Prayer Thursday Today was the 9th week that we have done Free Bag Lunch & A Prayer Thursday. This has been such a blessing for me. Each week I get to pray for people that I don't know as we hand out these lunches. I am always amazed by some of the responses from those that are receiving the lunch and prayer. To hear people say they really needed that prayer at that time makes me want to cry because God is allowing me to do this small thing for this person. <BR> <BR> There are so many people hurting and ... Thu, 27 Jun 2013 12:13:34 EST The need for focus! This morning I awoke to realize that the 4th of July is 8 days away. For the first time in years I will have my entire family here, from my mother to my 7 grand children ranging in age 11-1. I had been trying to prepare for this slowly and I still have much to do to prepare the house and yard for the day. Notice I didn't mention the food that will need to be brought and prepared. I haven't even mentioned my daily work for the ministry and church plant that I am responsible for. <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 26 Jun 2013 10:02:04 EST There is no competition! Do you ever try to do something to help and it just gets taken the wrong way? Yesterday was that day for me. To some people every thing is a competition even the things of God become a competition. When will we just get past ourselves enough to actually work together as a team. It is the same with weight loss. I am tired of all the competition. That is why it is so hard to get things done. There is a place for competition in an athletic event, spelling bee. Can we just move toward helping... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 08:56:31 EST I surprised myself! It is a beautiful Saturday here on the East Coast. So I started my day outside doing some planting in my garden. Yesterday I went out and picked up some lovely flowers and plants that needed to be transplanted today. As I was planting I realized that I needed more soil for the plants that were to be potted. next thing I now I am grabbing my ATM card and walking to the store to get some soil. As I was walking back it occurred to me that a few weeks ago I would have said I need to wait for ... Sat, 22 Jun 2013 13:18:04 EST It read goal reached! This may not be a big thing but for me it did. Let me bring you up to speed. I was at the gym today doing my normal routine. So after my strength exercise I went to the recumbent bike and got on as normal. I chose my program. Which was fat burner. I normally do this and I go for ten minutes no matter what. Today though I am watching the lights light up and I determined that I wanted to see the whole row light up. So I got to my ten minutes and it was only two thirds of the way so I decided t... Fri, 21 Jun 2013 21:08:55 EST Lessons from Free Bag Lunch and a Prayer! Every Thursday since May 2nd The Ministry I serve in hands out Free bag lunches. I am always amazed at the responses we receive by people. Some of the responses I had the moment someone notices that I am fat. It is like people are not use to seeing fat people as much as they are not use to someone being nice and giving them something without expecting anything from them. My goal with the lunches is for the people to accept them. Guess what that is my goal with me in life that people will... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 13:24:02 EST I almost didn't complete it! I was out for my morning walk to get my mile in. When on the third time around a thought popped into my head. It said your knees hurts you don't need to complete this today. So I pondered it for a brief moment and just kept going. That is not easy especially when you don't see the scale moving. So as I continued I thought about how my clothes are fitting different and that I have more energy. So I pushed on and completed my mile that really makes me feel good. <BR> <BR> To help motivate... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 08:24:53 EST Painting the outside to look good. I know the title sounds strange but there is a point to it. This morning I was doing some painting outside to spruce up the house. While I was painting the doors to my shed in the back a thought came to me. The outside looks great to my shed now. But I know what is behind those good looking doors. That is how I have done weight-loss most of my life. If I could just make the outside look good that would solve the mess inside. You may understand what I mean. The mess that keeps me repeatin... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 11:54:34 EST Do you ever feel like you may be to lazy to lose? I was thinking about this question in regard to me. I am not posing the question about whether to exercise but lazy in regard to the diligence of recording everything I each. I know that recording not just helps me to become aware of the fact that I am eating but allows me to be accountable for what I am eating. With knowing that I am trying to find out if it is just laziness on my part. So this week I am going to purposely be aware by tracking everything. Mon, 17 Jun 2013 14:24:54 EST Taking it slow! Okay I have decided that this time I will take it slow and not try to go at full speed so that I don't run out of steam or get frustrated. Today I made the small change of trading my morning cookie for an apple with cheese. Yesterday it was a salad for lunch so that at dinner I did not deprive myself. I need to remember it was wrong decisions that has led me to this place not just one but a series of them. Then only thing that can bring me out now is a series of right decisions for me. I c... Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:53:06 EST The Push for Zeal! I am back in the race again. But it feels like such a difficult push this time around. The strange thing is that I know I want to lose weight. I have done it before what I don't want to happen this time is to gain it back again. This is truly a push. It is a push to get on to the site to log my results and track my food. It seems like I have spent a lifetime pushing for success in one area or another. So here I go again to push until I get the Zeal. My grandmother use to say anything wort... Fri, 14 Jun 2013 14:52:18 EST What else can make me unfocused? I just realized that there is something else that can through you off your focus to the plan. When I am sick I can't focus. Sit at the computer are you kidding? Only positive thing I can say about it is that it makes me rest. today is the first day I have felt decent. I was going along good until this. I have to come up with a plan so that I won't lose a day because I didn't get to my computer. Funny thing Sparkpeople may make me spend money on a new Cell phone. Why a new phone? I need to be... Fri, 26 Oct 2012 10:48:03 EST The Day I didn't Blog! Day 24 What happen where did my time and day go? I am still trying to figure out what happen. Sometimes leading up to the week-end can be chaotic. There are less than 75 days before Christmas. I have a huge event coming up the second week of January. I have a lot to do. Does that sound like you? Just don't let your spark time slip. There will always be things trying to via for your time. We have to make a conscience effort to do those things that are for us. People and jobs will always be there but ... Sat, 20 Oct 2012 19:08:57 EST I did it for me Day 22 I am not the kind of person that normally says no to anything that is why I am here. But this has nothing to do with weight-loss at least I didn't think so until maybe now. I was asked to do a surprise birthday party that is next month. Well let me say until I would have said yes. Which would have been absolutely insane. My schedule throughout the next 2 months is jam packed. Tracking everything really does have me tracking everything, from calories to exercise to time mana... Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:04:57 EST Day 21 of the Journey It is hard to believe that it has been 21 days equal to 3 weeks. What a journey it has been since I first find this site. It has become an adventure to finding and understanding me. Funny how when come looking for help for one thing you find that there is something else that has been at work just under the surface. I find myself talking about Spark to everyone and recommending it whether it is for weight or about other things they may be dealing with. The response I have received about it re... Wed, 17 Oct 2012 16:42:50 EST My Ministry is being Sparked! If you have read the first five chapters of the book Sparked you will understand what a I am about to share. Since beginning this book I am beginning to see how the blocks actually fit together. When I started this journey I was looking for help with my weight loss and health but something unexpected has happen to me since then. The same mindset that has held me back with permanent weight-loss has also interferred in the success of my ministry. Adapting those same focuses that I am using he... Tue, 16 Oct 2012 18:13:47 EST Why the Spark Decision? Day 19 Why did I make the Spark decision? This refers to a conversation with a dear friend that made the decision to get the gastric sleeve. I have a friend that under went that procedure last month on the sixth. When my husband heard the discussion about it he asked me if I would ever consider it. There was a time prior to my last weight loss 4 years ago which I did on my own that I did consider it. But once I realized that I could lose weight without such a thing no I didn't consider it. Yet I wa... Mon, 15 Oct 2012 11:05:36 EST I need a day off Day 18! Don't let the title fool you. I am not taking a day off from healthy living or Spark people. I am taking a day off from serving other people which isn't easy for a minister, mother and wife. I am always doing for others and I am tired. So I purposely took the day off. I called out. Do you ever feel that way? My daily life is normally hectic do, do, do. and if I don't do I hear why not? Look Spark people has made me realize not only is my physical health important but my mental health has to b... Sun, 14 Oct 2012 16:21:42 EST Weigh Day! Yes it is that day again. I have stayed away from the scale all week. So I open my eyes and peek at the clock. It is 5:30 am. What day is it? It is Saturday the dreaded weigh day! Can anyone relate to this feeling. So I get up and head toward the bathroom. As I prepare to step on the scale my daughter knocks and says there is a car that has been parked in the back with headlights on since 4:00 am. So now I am distracted from my first purpose. I dial 911 and wait for the police to arrive. Then... Sat, 13 Oct 2012 12:17:01 EST I feel sick do I need to do this? I awoke this morning to post nasal drip filling my stomach along with a stomach virus. I don't feel good. Can I please just go back to bed? After my fourth trip to the bathroom I get down to do my crunches. This is crazy is what my old mindset is saying to me. Why don't you just get back into bed and call it day. You don't have to input your food or even deal with that spark stuff today is the conversation that is going on in my head. As I start my leg lifts I then start saying but I can't ... Fri, 12 Oct 2012 14:44:41 EST My new no fuss go to meal. Cajun Chicken Breast Salad <BR> <BR> 4-Chicken breast boned and skinned <BR> 4 tbl Dijon mustard <BR> fresh pepper <BR> Cajun spice <BR> Margarine <BR> Romaine Lettuce <BR> Tomato <BR> Spring onions <BR> Fresh mushrooms <BR> <BR> Wash and pat dry chicken breast <BR> Sprinkle fresh pepper over chicken breast <BR> Sprinkle Cajun spice don't over do. <BR> Place chicken breast in a glass oven dish <BR> Coat top of Chicken breast with Dijon mustard <BR> Place 1/2 pat of margarine on to of eat p... Thu, 11 Oct 2012 15:32:27 EST Two Weeks and Today I feel Anxious? I know that sounds so crazy. Yet that is the way I feel today. Let me begin with last night. My husband arrives home at 9 pm and has three doughnuts. Notice that I said not 1 or 2 but 3. No wonder I feel anxious? I wondering what is going to be next. What will someone bring to me just to be nice and thoughtful. Look when I wanted those things no one was bringing them to me. Has this ever happened to you? You find yourself moving along at a good speed doing and eating the right things only to... Wed, 10 Oct 2012 15:15:50 EST Thought from quote by SparkGuy Day 13 Life is the sum of our decisions and actions; results appear where we place our energies" <BR> This is my focused thought for today and hopefully everyday for the rest of my life. All the results I have whether good or bad are a result of every decision an action I have made in my life and what I have invested my life energies into. That is not the answer to why I am at this weight today. I have been guilty like many others of wanting to see immediate results or quick fixes that give minimum ... Tue, 9 Oct 2012 11:16:11 EST Where did this come from? You may be wondering what I am speaking about? I am talking about all this energy. This morning my alarm went off I jumped out of bed. Then I hurried and put on my exercise clothes. I did my floor exercises then it was time to jog. I should be tired. Next I go down to have coffee and my normal 2 oatmeal cookies. I stopped at the table and had an apple instead. Then I vacuum the entire house and clean my oven all before 9 am. But what was amazing was I cleaned my oven standing and squatin... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 12:34:48 EST Sunday Day 11 This should be easy right? Okay my day starts off with no alarm and I am preaching at 9:00AM. So I awake at 6:45 AM. I planned to get up and get my walk in @ 5:30 so that I could it in and have time to eat breakfast. I barely have enough time to get to the church so forget breakfast. Then it lunchtime and I am in the middle of service not out until 2:30. Has this ever happen to you. You had all these plans and then one thing throws you off. What do you do? Do you just say the heck with it? Or do you decide what is d... Sun, 7 Oct 2012 18:14:18 EST Chapter 1 "The Spark" Chris's co-worker counting down his time until retirement. So then what? I was guilty of this. When I stop working and enduring this life then I will really start to live. Is that what we think will really happen? For 40 years we get up and go to work many times dreading it then some how magically on the day we retire from that we are going to know what to do and how to do it so we don't become a full time couch potato, since for the last 40 years we were only a part-time couch potato? This ... Sat, 6 Oct 2012 11:48:58 EST What happens when you are Sparked and those around are down? A funny thing has happened since I have found SparkPeople i have noticed the more I get sparked the less support from those that originally had the problem with my weight. I figure I can't be the only one this has happened to so I would voice here to share. When I was originally confronted about my weight I got angry. I thought you know what that is your problem. When I was told by a doctor that losing weight could help my COPD that got my attention. That is how I ended up here. Now that it... Sat, 6 Oct 2012 11:10:44 EST Day 9 What's next? I have been on other diets before and by day 9 I normally miss what I have been depriving myself of. Does that sound familiar to anyone? Yesterday I was pushing past a small success today I am setting new goals and creating the steps to achieve them. After I gave myself a me break last night to catch up on reading with no distractions or background noises (i. e. tv or radio) just me and 3 books ( The Spark, The Bible, and a fiction). Goal a chapter from each to be read before sleep. What I di... Fri, 5 Oct 2012 12:59:37 EST The push past a small success! Sometimes for me it is easy to so caught up in a past success I don't move toward a new goal. I don't know if anyone else ever experiences this. Yesterday was a great day showing a nice weight loss. That success is now over. This morning I had to get up and make new decisions to keep me moving forward. It is easy to get stuck there just like high school football players that are now 40 years old still talking about the day they made a touch down some 20 years ago. If you look at their appear... Thu, 4 Oct 2012 13:56:12 EST I deserve a reward! I decided last night as I was laying bed awake. If anyone has a problem sleeping you may understand. I decided I was going get to bed early and get 8 hours in of sleep. I can't tell you the last time that has ever happen to me. So I am laying there awake my brain is moving faster than my computer. Then this idea popped into my mind " I deserve a reward when I reach small milestones on this journey that I am on. So I had decided that at the first ten pounds I would get my eyebrows waxed. Then ... Wed, 3 Oct 2012 16:22:55 EST Finding my voice! Funny how I knew this journey was going to different for the first time in my life. I was right. Today have been looking back at my journal entries over the last 5 days. I have never fault so powerful. When you reach a certain point in weight gain no matter what that number is for you because it is different for us all, there is a point when you no longer say what you want. You try to become either agreeable or silent. What you think not only doesn't matter to the outside world but it become... Tue, 2 Oct 2012 13:56:24 EST Why didn't you answer the cell when I called? How many have heard that question? I use to be a slave to my cellphone. I didn't go no where without it. It was like it should have looked like a pimple on my nose or a mysterous growth on the side of my head. Then came my blue tooth so there was this weird blue light on the side of my head. Then I had a <em>189</em> go off in my head. Why is this thing so important nine times out of ten it was people that wanted to talk about nothing really important. Then I didn't realize how rude it was... Mon, 1 Oct 2012 21:05:28 EST A way to take back my time I find that it helps me to focus on the task at hand when I cut the phone off for an hour. This helps me to stay on schedule and do what I have determined to do whether it is exercise or preparing for a class or lesson planning. I don't have to answer every call when the phone rings. Besides that is probably someone wanting to add to my already full to do list. <em>189</em> Mon, 1 Oct 2012 07:46:54 EST