NDCYSYVE36's SparkPeople Blog

I am such a disappointment

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 10:00:32 EST

I have fallen off the wagon this past week...I feel like an utter failure...
I saw a photo of me from a work function and I seriously want to die. I look so fat! I look morbidly obese. Its amazing how when I look in the mirror I dont see that...seeing it in print on a photo has just made me feel like a piece of crap!!!

UGH!!!!!

I am logging my calories again...I am going to restart again. I realized I am a pro at falling off the wagon...I did however accomplish lan...

It is super HOT in NYC today...

Tue, 6 Jul 2010 09:02:45 EST

It is so hot today in NYC that I think I will melt!

I havent kept up blogging everyday but am going to try to once a week...

Hope that everyone had a great weekend and was safe and had a lot of fun.

I am hitting the gym as soon as I get off work today!!

Day 17

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 09:23:31 EST

Its just one of those days where I am tired and just dont want to be here at work....

atleast it is Wednesday and I have Friday off!!

Day 15 & 16: HOTTTTT

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 09:31:35 EST

Yesterday I was out on the golf course the whole day and night for a work fundraiser. I managed to not hit the ice cream cart at all! However at dinner I ate so much deserts! It was yummy and I didnt feel too guilty which is a shocker!

Today, it is really hot in the city and I am planning on getting back on track today with eating. I have a massive heat headache and am bummed out and sad because I saw a man fall this morning who was disabled and he fell on his brown bag lunch and h...

Day 14: No shocker I gained 1.4 pounds.....How can I loose 5 this week?

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 06:43:27 EST

So this is no shocker to everyone who has been reading my blogs. Last week was nuts. I ate badly and didnt exercise as much and gained 1.4 pounds back....I am disappointed but I am not looking back. I want to try to loose 4-5 pounds this week but not sure if I can or even if I should try since 1-2 pounds a week is the best and healthiest way to loose weight from what I understand.

I am going to hit the gym today and tomorrow is a SUPER long day where I will be at the golf course t...

Day 13: Nervous and Ashamed...

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 16:49:20 EST

So tomorrow I weigh in and I am super nervous and ashamed because this past week has been out of control. Not enough strength on eating properly and lacked on the exercise. Why must we be so critical on ourselves? I wish I wasnt my own worst enemy....hopefully the scale doesnt go up to much but it is what it is right?

Day 12: ??

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 18:28:27 EST

So this week has been a tough one. I have not eaten as good as I should have. I had family in from out of town, and lunch meetings and tons of interviews and lots of travel.

Today I had a second interview and was super annoyed because she kept me waiting 30 minutes as if my time is not valueable to only tell me that she is concerned for me for my commute. I explained to her it is not an issue but she seemed to keep making an issue about it. Its 1 hour 15 minutes in traffic in the c...

Day 11: Fallen off the wagon but going to not give up

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:57:48 EST

So I feel like this week I have been out of control. Eating out and then family visiting (my father and his wife) we are having dinner tonight and it is making me anxious because a fight or argument will definetly be on the menu tonight and who really wants to deal with that?

Anyhow, I have endulged in eating out this week and will get back on track! Tonight I will try to make a good decision eating but feel that could be hard...but for today I am eating healthy!!

Hope t...

Day 10: HELP!!!!

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 08:56:57 EST

So happy that today is a new day....

I have a working lunch meeting at a BBQ place in Brooklyn this afternoon and the menu is limited...they have pulled pork, beef and chicken...

I really love pulled pork but need to know is this ok to eat??? They have no nutrition info on this.... :(

Day 9: I made it to the gym....

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 06:31:56 EST

So today is week two, day 9 and I woke up saying "thats it! no more excuses! I am going to the gym!" I was there at 5 am....super tired and to be honest scared because I broke my foot a year ago and have had a tough time with it healing properly. I thought it was healed about 8 months ago and decided to work out in the morning and I re-fractured it. So in the gym I am such a baby because I worry that it will re-fracture it then wont be able to get to work and loose my job...but today i said e...

Week 2- UGHHHHHH

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 13:52:15 EST

keeping my promise to blog...

had 3 interviews already today have a massive headache....starving so i ate fast food...booooo

feeling like i am a looser in more then 1 way.....i have a gym membership but am so tired always......just feeling blahhhh today...monday blues i suppose!!

Day 7: should I stay or should I go?

Sun, 20 Jun 2010 08:28:32 EST

So its a gorgeous Sunday morning and I am ready to head out to the Mattituck Strawberry Festival. This could be dangerous since they have the stations where you can dip strawberries in delicious chocolate and strawberry short cakes...hmmmm should I stay or should I go now?

I have kept up with my promises to:
1-log everything I eat
2-blog everyday

I am shocked that I have stayed committed this long...I have committment issues!

Make it a great Sunday ...

Day 6: Saturday

Sat, 19 Jun 2010 14:20:12 EST

So today is day 6 and I am extremely tired...so even though I woke up at my usual time of 5 am I decided to just stay in bed watch some tv and be lazy. I was supposed to meet a friend and look for apartments with her but she disrespects me and my time and doesnt even call or text to say we are not going. So I was kinda being lazy today knowing I needed to be available to go look for a new place for her...what a waste! I need to re-evaluate my friendship with her. She does not have respect for...

5 days in...and it's FRIDAY and I am bent out of shape!

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 09:53:25 EST

Ok so today is day 5...and I am proud I have stuck to something for 5 whole days!! However, I need to learn how to not beat myself up. I really have big problems with this. I say to myself I am going to wake up and go to the gym or walk and I haven't done this in 2 days.. I work 13-15 hours a day and just feel like there is not enough time and I get SUPER depressed! I havent eaten my feeling this week so I suppose that is a HUGE positive.

Today is Friday and this weekend is Father...

Day 4: Happy Friday's Eve

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 09:03:21 EST

So again I woke up extremly exhausted and realized I am on the verge of burning out. I can not take 4 hours a day commuting to work. It is driving me crazy and then insomnia on top of it. I am just exhausted but I am not going to let it defeat me. So job searching again all day...hopefully something will change...but thankful for the job I have today in this crappy economy.

I didnt go walking this morning before work so again I am beating myself up! :(
I do walk 30 minutes to...

Day 3: Keeping up with my promise...

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 15:30:38 EST

So I woke up today very tired and decided to stay in bed the 30 minutes that I would go walking instead...and felt VERY guilty...however, once I got to work after my 2 hour commute I realized that I had to travel to the Bronx and then to Brooklyn and back to the city...so I did more then 30 minutes of walking. I then got nervous because I knew this would be a disaster eating out since I have been bringing lunch...but we stopped at Subway of all places and I usually can no lie eat a whole foot...

Day 1 &2: I am making a promise to blog EVERY day!!!

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:33:11 EST

So yesterday was my first day on here. I logged every single item I crammed into my fat mouth...but I felt good doing it. I am also on WW online but have fallen off that wagon and found this site and feel like this site is a little "healthier" for me.

I made a promise today being my second day that I would blog everyday and that I would not make it a goal to loose 100 pounds but instead 10 pound mini goals. I feel that if I tell myself I need to loose 100 pounds that it is such a ...