NATURALSOAPGIRL's SparkPeople Blog

NO MORE FAT LADY CLOTHES!!!

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 13:55:54 EST

There is a clothing store near my home that is going out of business. Probably at least half of my wardrobe is from that store. With their prices all being 40-60% off right now, it's SOOOOO tempting to go in and buy a bunch of clothes. But at the same time - I hate clothes shopping! Just another reminder of how fat I am, right?

But, as some of you read in my last blog, I do like to look nice, all the time. It's part of me. I don't do pj's in public and rarely wear even a sweatshirt...

MY WORST "STEREOTYPE" FEARS CONFIRMED...

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 10:36:54 EST

I typically will NOT go out of the house without hair and make-up done to my satisfaction. I feel incomplete without jewelry. And for me, jeans and a t-shirt (especially with a sweatshirt) is a sloppy day, even if each clothing item looks nice on it's own. I just like to look like a very put-together person. It's part of me. So, when I started working with a personal trainer earlier this year she asked me why I always wear make-up (and often cute little earrings) to workout. I assured her tha...

GETTING MY LIFE BACK?? UPDATE!!!

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 13:54:34 EST

Well, here I go again. Working toward a blog that's short but sweet. But, as some of my longtime Spark friends know, I don't often achieve that. lol. Here goes.

That last blog about getting my life back was written a month ago. So how did I do?

That week I worked out two days in a row and decided to take a day of rest because my knees were really hurting. That day off turned into the rest of the week. Boooooo. I don't really remember how I ate that week or if I lost any ...

I AM READY TO GET MY LIFE BACK...

Sun, 30 Sep 2012 16:48:43 EST

This blog will be short. Odd for me, but it doesn't make sense to ramble on when I really have nothing to say other than - I have failed. Back in June I got so tired of being on a stupid plateau that I finally gave up hope. I didn't know that I had given up, I just did it subconsciously.

I have now gained 10 pounds back and I'm feeling so crummy physically. Depression has set in. I have allowed myself to use many excuses. I keep telling myself I will start over on Monday. But when...

CALL A SPADE A SPADE...

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:52:24 EST

I have about 5 minutes before I have to wash the dye from my hair so this will be short and sweet. Yesterday I wrote a long blog that was my update about how well I am doing because I felt you all needed to know that I haven't been slacking. And that's mostly true, I mean, everyone has their bad days. Weekends are STILL my killer... always have been.

Anyway, while all that I wrote yesterday is true and I AM happy about my progress, I want more! I gotta call a spade a spade - I am ...

NO BLOGS, BUT LOTS OF HARD WORK!!!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:09:51 EST

Wow. I haven't blogged here in 2 months. And the reason is - I have been working hard at home and in the gym! I know many times (and this has been the case for me a few times in past years) people stop blogging or showing up here at SparkPeople when the going gets tough. I am HAPPY to say that I am STILL going strong since the beginning of January.

I was in "The Biggest Shredder" competition at my gym and got 8th place of 19 people. Not terrible, not fantastic, but in 8 weeks I los...

NOT EATING ENOUGH AGAIN??

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 15:19:06 EST

In 2009, when I was actually losing weight at a steady pace, I hit a wall. I had been working out 5 times a week (almost all cardio) and watching my food well and I KNEW I should be losing weight. But instead I gained and I was upset and knew something was wrong. Back then ZIRCADIA suggested that I change around my calorie consumption because maybe I wasn't eating enough. And she was right. After that I losing again.

I am wondering if I am back at that point now. I workout 5-6 time...

PERSEVERE AND PUSH!!!

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 14:40:18 EST

To think that just about 3 weeks ago I had only jogged about 3 minutes and then had to stop. It was really a big deal for me to jog 5 minutes without stopping. And through these last few weeks I just kept pushing and persevering... no matter how hard it was. No matter how many times my body resisted and my brain doubted. There were other factors at work here - my heart and my will.

My heart said, "If you want to achieve it, you have to push until it's impossible to push anymore." M...

FINALLY HIT 10 POUNDS!!!

Tue, 7 Feb 2012 18:19:45 EST

I finally hit 10 pounds. Been so close for a couple weeks now but this past weekend I really punched up the workout intensity and was careful about food and this morning I broke through that 10 pound barrier. Start weight - 302 - today 291. 11 pounds and counting.

I guess I actually need to come up with a new goal/reward list! I finally have a need for it!

10 pounds - download album from iTunes (I got Beautiful History from Plumb, but I might splurge and go back and get ...

ONE FOR MY RECORD BOOKS...

Sun, 5 Feb 2012 18:51:16 EST

Yes, I did it. I managed to LOSE weight over a weekend instead of gain - which has never been done before by me (unless maybe from flu). Last weekend I didn't eat terribly, and I worked out, but I still managed to gain about 4 pounds which was very upsetting. I spent all week trying to lose it and didn't even lose it all so in the end from friday to friday I gained about a pound and a half (what was left from my weekend gain). It is SOOOO frustrating to have to relose it! Anyway, I started th...

CLEARED FOR RUNNING...SORT OF...

Wed, 1 Feb 2012 21:29:40 EST

Today I had a training session with Danielle. She had tailored it to what the physical therapist had said about no excessive squats, stair stepping, etc to avoid extra stress to my knees. It was mostly hips, thighs, glutes and abs and it was a tough routine!

Afterward she started out by saying, "I know you aren't going to like what I am going to tell you, in fact I know you'll hate it." Somehow the conversation got sidetracked immediately by something else (she or I said something ...

TREADMILL FREAKOUT...

Wed, 1 Feb 2012 01:25:06 EST

In 2009 when I was starting to workout and lose weight I had several times where I would be overcome with some kind of emotion and start crying on the treadmill, though it was always just tearing up or maybe one tear would fall. I never actually stopped working out because of it, that I recall.

But today... wow. Today was NOT a great day for me in many ways.

I have been having some problems with knee pain and shin splints but nothing extreme. My trainer is worried about ...

DREAMS REVEAL TRUTH...

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 00:15:52 EST

sometimes. I have had strange dreams about having brain cancer and other weird things lately - those are not true. But the dream I had last night... both scary and true.

I was at a party at someone's house. They had a large patio out back that was set up almost cafe style with lots of little wooden tables and two chairs at each. In this dream I wasn't married. My sister and brother-in-law arrived and went to get drinks and I sat at a table to wait for them. I saw a good looking guy...

MENTAL ROADBLOCKS...

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 19:25:15 EST

I am still struggling with whether or not I want to run the 5k coming up in March. I am so afraid of not being able to complete it the way I want to... to the point where it's a source of stress. My trainer Danielle told me that I am disciplined and hard working and that I can "do whatever the **** I want to" but that I am allowing the mental roadblocks to get in my way. That it's not about the weight or that I am not ready for it yet, but I am allowing fear and perfectionism to get in the wa...

STILL GOING STRONG!!!

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:59:43 EST

It's been a little while since I blogged but I am still going strong! Typically when I don't blog it's because my blog would be a bummer, but this time it's cuz I am just plain busy with working out and life.

I had my second session with Danielle, my trainer, on Wednesday. I did the training routine alone yesterday (3x through which we don't have time to do in the actual training session) and it kicked my butt! I was really pushing toward the end. Seriously, she is good at what she...

PROGRESS AND NOT RELENTING...

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 21:08:14 EST

Yesterday I met with a personal trainer. I have had a trainer before, which was very expensive, and I didn't gain anything from it because I was not ready. I guess I didn't want it badly enough.

But Danielle, she is good. She's smart, she's kind, she's understanding and I HOPE she can kick my butt. If she doesn't, I'll ask her to. Lol. If I am going for it, it's going to be 100%. I've always said I would be a good Biggest Loser contestant because I really push hard in the gym. I l...

MY LIST OF REASONS...

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:36:55 EST

Oh so many reasons why this weight loss is necessary...

1. I want to live a long, healthy life. I don't want my prediabetes to become full blown and I certainly don't want heart problems or any other issues that come with obesity. I want to really LIVE.

2. I want to be comfortable in my own skin.

3. I want to be the wife my husband desires physically and a wife who can feel comfortable with her husband in a private setting. I also need to be able to fulfill th...

NOT A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION...

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 20:54:36 EST

Lots of people are coming back because it's a new year and it's time to get their butts in gear... again... just like 2011... and 2010... and 2009. You get the picture. And if you are - more power to you. You haven't given up on yourself. But that has been me for many, many years (much longer than just back to 2009) and where has it gotten me?

For me a change took resolve. A real and true dedication to my health and not because it was a new year and seemed like the right thing to ...

DIABETES NOT COOL...

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:24:58 EST

In the continuing saga of my crazy health...

I went to see my doc a few weeks ago about my issues with undiagnosed PCOS. I was hoping that getting those hormone problems under control might help my seizures (that I think are hormone related) get under control as well. This past month was really bad.

Doc told me to wait until day 21 of my cycle which was today, and get blood glucose level and testosterone level done. Then I am allowed to start taking my new medication, Hy...

MIRACLE OF LIFE... AND DEATH...

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:11:35 EST

Wow. I have been given so much to think about lately. Over the last few months God has really been working on me. My heart, my prayer, giving my struggles to Him. It's not always easy - it's pretty much NEVER easy when it comes to God. But it's the great stuff in life that is worth the hard work - physical OR mental.

A few months back our friends found out that they were having baby #3 and that it was a girl (their first). We rejoiced. But there was more. She didn't look right on ...

BEING FREE AND SOME SCRAPBOOK PAGES...

Tue, 8 Nov 2011 17:53:17 EST

I had decided that I was starting last Monday with my 5 days a week exercise. But, as things tend to do when getting ready for a trip, it all fell apart on day 2. Rather than stress myself out by having to workout at 2 am (yes, that was when I was finally done with what I needed to do, several days in a row) I decided to be forgiving and not hold it against myself and start this Monday instead (yesterday). And yesterday came and went without a workout. I did use an excuse - even though I said...

BRINGING BACK THE "NO EXCUSE NAZI"...

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:57:14 EST

Yeah, there are still a few people here who would remember that self-proclaimed title. No excuses was the theme of my life and I am READY to claim that again!

I am starting over with Never Say Diet. This may be the WORST week I could start it, but I am going to anyway. Thursday morning I am going out of town for the weekend for a ladies' scrapbooking retreat (woohoooooo!). I am committing to at least 30 minutes of exercise every weekday so that means I have to get up early and wo...

AND THE DOCTOR SAYS...

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:31:47 EST

I'm correct. I probably do have PCOS. Whether I ever get "labeled" or not, the proof is in the pudding - I have almost all the symptoms of PCOS. So, we will treat for it.

The plan of action:

1. Fast and then go in for labs for testosterone, estrogen and progesterone levels. Thyroid and blood sugar levels will also be tested. These will be checked again a few weeks after starting new meds.

2. Continue taking cinnamon pills to help level blood sugar.

...

MONDAY MY LIFE MAY CHANGE...

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 01:04:32 EST

I have had a hard time concentrating in the last week or so. I am going to the doctor on October 31 and I PRAY things in my life will start to change after that.

A few weeks ago I was reading articles and message boards where women were talking about how birth control helped them stop their seizures. Well, I need that! I have suspected for a while now that many of my seizures are hormone related. I also have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which can result in erratic hormone flu...

HORRIFYING BEFORE PHOTOS...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:45:27 EST

Yes, this is the perfect time, Halloween season, to see my scary "before" photos! They are too embarrassing to put in a photo album or even print off so I'll put them here to remind myself what I NEVER want to be again!!!!

Standing with my cousin who had just had a baby and she looks way better. Ugh...

Yuck, stomach roll...
...

JUNK FOOD IS FREEDOM!!!!!!!

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:37:28 EST

... or so my warped brain tends to think. I have been reading all my old blogs from 2009, back when I had lost 45 pounds and was on my way toward my goal weight, before I got pregnant...

I was talking to my mom today, trying to figure out why I let myself sabotage my efforts each time I got around 35 pounds lost. On my own, Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, South Beach Diet and more. Each time I ended right about 35 pounds lost, then used some lame excuse (usually some big event or ...

EXCUSES I HAVE USED...

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 16:42:28 EST

I am (again) reading Never Say Diet by Chantel Hobbs. Awesome, inspiring book. It's the third time I am reading it. The first time, 2009, I jumped right into Phase 1 (exercise habit) and kept right on going until I lost 45 pounds... and then discovered my surprise pregnancy. The second time I read this book was 2010, shortly after having my son. I thought I was ready to be committed to losing weight again, but I chose to use every excuse in the book and quit shortly after I started.
<...

DAYS 2, 3, AND 4 OF THE MASTER CLEANSE...

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:41:07 EST

Howdy all! 9

Honestly, right now I feel like yuck. But I have a good attitude and am looking forward to seeing more positive things happen with my weight so even though my body feels badly, my mind is in good shape.

Day 2 of the Master Cleanse I did well up until supper. I planned all simple meals this week since I had to cook them all but not eat any. I made frozen pizza for supper (which only happens once every 6 months or so, so you know I was desperate fo...

YEP, CRAZY SARAH IS STILL CRAZY...

Mon, 8 Aug 2011 15:46:23 EST

... and still alive. lol. Been a while since I was here. (WARNING - THIS BLOG IS KINDA LONG SINCE I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS.) I think I just needed to get my bearings and gather my thoughts. I feel like my whole adult life has been one big long diet that has never succeeded in anything but making me feel bad about myself.

After being convicted about my obsessing over the candida diet I took some time off. I never planned to do that. I wanted to jump right into heal...

CALLING ALL CHRISTIANS FOCUSED ON DIET...

Tue, 7 Jun 2011 01:17:49 EST

*Scriptures about dieting, eating and focus on food all near the end of the blog...
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Still going (CANDIDA DIET DAYS #11, 12, 13 AND 14). Lack of committment on my part. I had to take a big girl pill to admit that one. I did better this weekend than last weekend - for sure. But when I am out it's so hard to me to not stop at Starbucks or get a cone through McDonald's dr...

CANDIDA DIET DAYS #7, 8, 9 AND 10...

Thu, 2 Jun 2011 22:38:02 EST

And still going strong! Kind of! The weekend wasn't good eating for me but Tuesday I jumped right back into it. I am still not fully eating a candida diet so I still have a bite here and there. Today I had a couple pieces of cereal from the box and a couple spoons of peanut butter... eventually it will get easier.

I am tired and ready for bed. It's been a very long, emotionally stressful day and stress isn't good for me at all - for many reasons. Just wanted to check in and say th...

CANDIDA DIET DAY #6

Sun, 29 May 2011 02:05:49 EST

For dinner on friday - I blew it. So I was determined to have a good Saturday... until I remembered about my kids' all day track meet. I am going to have to figure out some kind of salad that travels well that I can take with me places. Something that doesn't have to be refrigerated or that I can take in a small little cooler??? All I know is that I was unprepared for today.

I ate a hard-boiled egg before I left home and took one with me. You know, carbs really are addictive. I b...

CANDIDA DIET DAYS #4 AND #5

Sat, 28 May 2011 00:42:52 EST

Still going strong on this new eating plan. It isn't easy but I need to constantly remind myself that I need my health to improve in many ways other than weight.

Yesterday I did fairly well. I have caught myself "cheating" the last few days. A couple days ago it was a small handful of pretzels, yesterday is was 5 fruit snacks and two bites of potato and today.... well, not great. Started off okay but I had some chocolate in the afternoon and for dinner I went out and had dressing ...

CANDIDA DIET DAYS #2 AND #3

Wed, 25 May 2011 15:57:09 EST

Well, I missed blogging yesterday. But it wasn't because I was lazy or had a bad day. Just a sick kid all day, late dinner and a friend over at night. So, how did day two go?

I ate well. Maybe not enough because I am still learning what foods are best for me. I am afraid of making a mistake. Also, I am learning that I need better preparation. My friend Christine showed me how she prepares a "base" for the protein drink ahead of time that way when she is in a hurry all she has to do...

CANDIDA DIET DAY #1

Mon, 23 May 2011 22:43:16 EST

Finishing up day one of my new cleansing diet. Ridding my body of bad stuff and helping my cells and all my systems to kick out the toxins and rebuild from the ground up.

Not so easy though. It's very low carb. I have done low carb before. No biggie. But this kind of dedication?? And not only that, but I think I have been feeling deep down like I was going to do this. I have been thinking about it for a few weeks now. And it was one of those, "Well, I might as well eat the junk to...

CLEANSING MYSELF OF BAD...

Mon, 23 May 2011 02:09:43 EST

Putting back in what's good.

That's my choice. My move. I am the only one who can make it.

The other day I was bending over to pick something up for my baby and the thought came to mind, "I hate this body."

To which I replied to myself, "So do something about it. No one can do it but you."

Wow. Poignant, right? And so simple. I know it sounds basic, but I really challenged myself in that thinking. There is NO ONE who can do this for me. So if it i...

SIGNIFICANT NUMBER... FINALLY...

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:26:28 EST

Even though I lost 14 pounds in two weeks, I have struggled in the 3 weeks since then. Struggled to keep off that 14 pounds and struggled to lose any more weight. I have FINALLY lost another 3 pounds. I had to do a juice fast to get there, though! I wanted to do a juice fast to clean out toxins from my body. Being on prescription meds for 25 years will do that to ya... burden your body with toxins, I mean.

As of today I am 276. This is a huge WOO HOO number for me. It's significan...

AWW.... DO I HAVE TO???

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 22:25:28 EST

Okay, fine. Maybe I DO need to workout.
101

I hear about people who can lose 50 or 100 pounds just by changing their diet. Now, I didn't want to just lose all my weight with diet. I gained 2 pounds yesterday but I am tellin' ya - I didn't eat an extra 7,000 calories worth of food to gain that! I had about a 1.700 calorie day from my guesstimate. Okay, okay. Maybe workouts would help me. But lately it's been so hard with Carson being just at that age where he doesn'...

REASON #001 - WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 22:34:35 EST

Today I was jumping around here on SP, reading friends' blogs and I came across some blogs from WOLFKITTY (aka Jocelyn) that were cool. Reasons! Reasons to stay fit. And so, inspired by her blogs, I would like to start some "reasons" blogs of my own.

REASON #001 - ME!!! cuz WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE.

Yep. And mine is about 1/3 over already. Wow. That's scary. But, that said, I would like the next 2/3 to be blessed with better health than the first 1/3. So my first reason is ...

3 DAY DETOX WITH AWESOME RESULTS!

Tue, 1 Mar 2011 21:51:35 EST

I was reading the book, "The Green Smoothies Diet" by Robyn Openshaw (aka Green Smoothie Girl from www.greensmoothiegirl.com . She suggested a 3 day detox in which you only drink... you got it! Green smoothies! Green smoothies for breakfast, lunch and supper. No other food. I knew it would be hard, but I decided to go for it.

When you detox you can often have some symptoms of toxins trying to leave your body. I had some mild headaches, an on and off sinus pressure,...

GREEN SMOOTHIE UPDATE...

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 11:02:44 EST

Just thought I'd quick stop in at SP and give an update of how it's going for me. Yes, even on day 11 from my official start I am still going strong. Green smoothies for breakfast and lunch every day except for one day when I didn't have the fruit to make my breakfast smoothie. I ate 2 eggs scrambled and then went to the store so I was able to make my lunch smoothie.

I have also been trying to use more restraint on my one normal meal - supper. I am trying to make the meals a littl...

TREPIDATION...

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 20:32:08 EST

Trepidation. It's a funny thing. Like a fear of the unknown. Fear of failure, perhaps? Cautious. Careful. Tense and worried even?

Embarking on the weight loss journey is like my fear of slipping when I walk. I tread lightly, fearing the entire way that I will fall and be hurt. Winter is a hard time for me. When my family goes out shopping or to dinner or to church I can be found walking behind them - usually not very close behind either. It's not because I lack the energy or abilit...

GREEN SMOOTHIE EXPERIMENT III

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 11:19:18 EST

I have been studying and enjoying green smoothies for a short time now. This isn't the first time. I was drinking them last year also, until a rubber gasket from my blender went missing and I was unable to keep making them. I wasn't very faithful anyway. I had them a few times a week, even though it was my goal to have them for breakfast every morning.

And what is a green smoothie, you may ask??? A green smoothie is only one of the coolest inventions in the last decade. It is basi...

FIVE YEARS AND NO PROGRESS...

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 10:53:18 EST

Ouch. Reality really hurts. I started a weight loss scrapbook 5 years ago. I had already been struggling with my weigh for 10 or 12 years by that point. Here is the first page...

Kinda blurry pic - It says, "Me at 292... but not for long!"

Well guess what... last week I still weighed 292. I mean, yes, I have lost some weight in that time. My greatest success being in 2009 (before my pregnancy) ...

DESPERATELY GRASPING AT STRAWS...

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 12:42:41 EST

Peripheral Neuropathy. Sounds like some complex medical term to me. Or at least it would have yesterday. But I think it may be one more key in this crazy puzzle I call - my health. Since shortly after Carson was born I have been getting symptoms that are increasingly worse and causing me a lot of stress. First it was the outer side of my right thumb bone. Aching. And if I hit it just right there was a lot of pain and even weakness. Then I started waking up every morning with my fingers (still...

ME & THE SCALE - FRENEMIES...

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 20:12:18 EST

I love the scale... some days. And I hate the scale... some days. Today I hate it. Yesterday I hated it. It is an obsession with me. And I know that there are probably half or more of the people who will read this and try to convince me to throw away the scale, put it away or at least only weigh once in a while. But I can't.
I wake up.
I weigh myself.
(In my pajamas. This helps to soften the blow for later because I know for sure I will actually weigh less than I do in my pjs...

MY LIFE STARTS NOW

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 01:52:34 EST

It has been a long, hard, sometimes horrible, sometimes great emotional journey for me - all my life. I honestly don't remember all that much of my life before 7th grade. Maybe that's when I realized that I struggled with my weight and maybe that was when I realized that if I didn't do something about it that it would impact my life - and not for the better. My chauvanist pig of a teacher pointed out that I had gained back about 10 pounds that I had lost - in front of my entire class. That wa...

A WEEK OF FASTING...

Sun, 9 Jan 2011 20:28:19 EST

This morning at church our pastor reminded us that this is the church-wide "week of prayer and fasting". It's totally optional and we can "fast" any way we feel led to. In the past I had always thought of fasting as totally going without food for the entire time. I have since come to realize that fasting can be done any way you chose, as long as your focus is right and there is some kind of physical sacrifice. The idea is that the time you would have spent eating would be spent praying or re...

1/7 PROGRESS PICS & POSITIVE OUTLOOK...

Fri, 7 Jan 2011 17:47:41 EST

I still don't have any pics to post because I have been working on losing the 7 or so pounds gained over the holidays. So, after a week of working very hard to gain control over my eating I can officially say - I went from 292 to 286.2 from Monday to Friday! Yay!!! I did it! When I gain that much weight in a short period of time I can usually lose it fairly quickly too. The tricky part is continuing! And tonight I am hosting the annual "Girly Girl Christmas party" with 3 of my friends. Chocol...

12/31 PROGRESS PICS AND NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION...

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 11:56:20 EST

Hahahahaaaa. Did you actually think I had pics to post? This is me! And it's food season! Thanksgiving, Christmas parties, Christmas (3 different celebrations in 2 days) plus my hubby being off work a bunch of days, plus working on putting up walls and building and organizing and decorating a couple of new rooms (which does not make me feel like cooking) plus then New Year's??? Um... not exactly conditions for losing weight. For some people it might be, but I think I have given up until Sunda...