NARNIAROSE2003's SparkPeople Blog NARNIAROSE2003's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Ten On Call this weekend. I am lucky to have a job I love and I never want to lose sight of that. It can be very stressful, and no, it's not my dream job - but I love it nonetheless. That's a blessing. <BR> <BR> They had put my stepfather into a state of hypothermia to see if they could halt any brain damage from his lengthy time without oxygen. They started bringing him out yesterday, but it could take several days before we know the outcome. Thank you all for your prayers and good thoug... Fri, 20 Jan 2017 12:05:56 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Nine Feeling fantastic! I rocked my interview - and what's even better is that I am NOT stressing over it. None of that "did they like me?", "was I good enough?", "what if I don't get the job?" stuff going on in my head. I also saw my therapist and was telling how good I'm doing. He said, "You are finally believing that you are GOOD ENOUGH already." OMG. I didn't even realize that was where I'm getting, but IT IS! That's so exciting! It is so exhausting to go through life constantly worryi... Thu, 19 Jan 2017 16:17:27 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Eight THERE ARE NO BOUNDARIES. I probably have a blog titled this somewhere already. No matter. I'm reminding myself of this right now, when there are many things trying to sway me from my goals. Yesterday was challenging. I woke up at night with my foot hurting from the gout. I decided not to do the intense cardio I had planned since I was going to see the doctor. I had to be at the office at 8:30 am. So I worked for three hours, then took a break and went downtown to do a little walking si... Wed, 18 Jan 2017 14:53:41 EST Some Thoughts on Willpower My SparkCoach video today was about willpower. She was making some points I had not thought about before. It seems normal for us to think that will power is something you either have or you don't. I think I've always thought of those with willpower as the type A personality folks, or the people who can always get to the gym and have the skinny gene. But today Dr. Birdy was saying that willpower is something you cultivate. Kind of like a muscle. The more you use it the stronger it gets. And I ... Tue, 17 Jan 2017 12:42:36 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Seven Cruising along well! Did my water aerobics today and still eating on plan. I'm telling you, making small goals is the way to go! Whenever I feel the urge to sway from the past, I just hear the statement, "Listen - you can do ANYTHING for 30 days!" <BR> <BR> This morning I was reading my People Mag (don't judge me) and it was the weight loss issue. Oprah was on the cover. Now, I love me some Oprah, but I found myself getting a little frustrated reading her article about how she finally... Mon, 16 Jan 2017 10:57:09 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Six Having a lovely day! I have to say, I don't like rest days. Ha! Never thought I'd hear myself say that! But I don't feel "normal" any more when I don't do some sort of fitness. I know I made the right choice, as I didn't want to aggravate my foot, but I really rely on my exercise to keep my depression at bay. Anywho, back to today....I got up and Skyped with the kids and my granddaughter, Maeva. Then went to the pool and did 130 laps in an hour. Went and did some shopping with the hub... Sun, 15 Jan 2017 15:23:31 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Five I was going to wait until tomorrow to do rest day, but my gouty foot is irritated. I don't want it to get bad so I'm going to rest today instead. I have a doc appointment this week, so hoping that will nip this in the bud. I was going to do yoga, but I think downward facing dog would be agony! LOL. It's all good. Not going to let this side track me! I will find something I can do tomorrow and I'm still on plan! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sat, 14 Jan 2017 09:21:49 EST Garbage In, Garbage Out One of my new SP friends (thanks _Ramona!) posted this link to a program that includes an interesting video: <BR> <BR><BR>-screening <BR> <BR> I just watched the entire thing. It's LONG. But my reaction was WOW. VERY INTERESTING and I have to say, it really resonated with me. It's all about the impact of nutrition on our wholistic health, NOT just about weight loss. I took a whole page of notes. Some of the things I wrote down include: <BR> <BR> 1.... Fri, 13 Jan 2017 17:47:31 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Four Still doing great and moving on. I love how the mind works. Once I have said in my mind (and out loud) that I'm going to do something, I find it hard not to follow through. Whenever I think, "I'll just eat a small piece of cheese" or something else that is not Paleo, that voice rings out, "No - you said NO EXCUSES. And it's only x more days. You can do this!" Did my water aerobics today. Feeling a little tired, but I'm trying to wait until Sunday for a rest day. I have a four day week... Fri, 13 Jan 2017 11:41:33 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Three It was a full moon last night, so of course I had a rough case last night with NCIS. Worked from 8:00 am yesterday to 1:00 am this morning. I'm so glad I got up early yesterday to get my fitness in! I also got well over 12,000 steps in, too. Ate totally Paleo. ON PLAN. Already finished my fitness today and will do my strength training in a bit. On call again tonight. Then I get a three day weekend! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Thu, 12 Jan 2017 11:24:01 EST 30 Day Self-Challenge: Day Two Yesterday - I killed it! Reached all my goals and then some. Feeling great. Today I have to be in the office all day AND I'm on call tonight. So I'm up early and just did an hour of cardio dance and two short strength training videos. Last night I packed my food for the day and even laid out my clothes! I'm finding it's easier to keep up this pace when I can say, "Just 28 more days" instead of "for the rest of my life." Even though I KNOW that the more I live this way, the more I WANT ... Wed, 11 Jan 2017 07:01:38 EST 30-Day Self Challenge: Day One And here we go! Just ate a paleo breakfast (measured everything) within calorie range and then I'm off to the pool for aerobics. I will do a couple of SP strength training videos after. <BR> <BR> I have the SP Premium and I was looking at the Reports over time yesterday. It showed my average fitness minutes in the last six months as 45. I was very pleased about that, as I have had rest days and sometimes felt like I wasn't doing enough. My calories over time, however, were surprising. ... Tue, 10 Jan 2017 09:04:33 EST 30-Day Self Challenge I was watching that Daily Spark video where the mom and daughter worked out for 100 days and videoed it. I think I need a new self challenge. I'm still doing pretty well, but I feel like I'm not doing as much as I CAN. I want to challenge myself to a 30 day streak of doing the following: <BR> <BR> 1. Eat ONLY Paleo -no cheating, no excuses. You won't know if it really works for you unless you do it right. <BR> 2. Do AT LEAST 45 minutes of cardio daily and AT LEAST 15 minutes of streng... Mon, 9 Jan 2017 09:24:40 EST Baby, It's Cold Outside! I'm disappointed - we didn't get anything but ice here. If I have to be cold, I should at least get to see some pretty snow. I'm over winter now. I'm ready for spring. I'm ready to take the top off my Jeep and head to the beach. Just sayin'.... <BR> <BR> I know - quit whining. *sigh* <BR> <BR> Still on call today. Tomorrow, I'm going to the Garden Club in our community for the first time. I'm excited! I have never had a green thumb and have killed lots of house plants. I want to ... Sun, 8 Jan 2017 10:46:39 EST Up Early and Just Ice So Far I have really been sleeping well for the last few weeks. It's a miracle! And I slept well last night until about 4:00 am. I just didn't feel sleepy anymore. So I gave up about 5:00 am and I got up and worked out! It's really icy out and they are saying the snow is going to start about 1:00 pm. So I'm going to shower and hope my pager doesn't go off. Either way, law enforcement will have to come get me if they need me today! I'm not driving in that mess. <BR> <BR> Hope everyone is ... Sat, 7 Jan 2017 07:00:37 EST Snow? Well, I guess we're waiting for snowmageddon... or not. The forecast keeps going back and forth as to whether we're going to get snow, sleet, freezing rain or a combination of them all. I'm on call so we'll see what happens hope everybody has a great weekend! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Fri, 6 Jan 2017 18:29:27 EST Gouty or Broken? My foot mysteriously started hurting the day before yesterday. I vaguely remember stubbing the heck out of it a couple of nights ago, but I think if I had really injured it I would have known right away - or not. I went on webMD and diagnosed myself with gout (LOL). I thought that might make sense because one of the reasons for gout is eating too much meat and seafood - duh, Paleo! I called the doctor who couldn't see me, but had me come into the lab to check my uric acid. I guess we'll ... Thu, 5 Jan 2017 08:50:01 EST Perhaps My Dream Job? The one thing I've always loved best no matter what job I've had is training. I am a teacher/trainer by nature! I love being in front of a crowd, I absolutely love telling stories and I long to be an inspiration to others. I used to work in State Government and did some training for social workers, attorneys and clerks of court, but a full time trainer position was never available for me. I'm working in county government now (since we moved) but have kept a watch on the state jobs. They ... Wed, 4 Jan 2017 16:51:12 EST No Bull If you've been reading my blogs for any amount of time, you've probably figured out I'm pretty transparent. That being said, I still struggle with being 100% real and honest about things in my life. I have, most of my life, been a performer. Not only with my music, but with myself. "Oh, there's So and So. She likes this and that. Let me change my response so she'll feel comfortable with me." Or "If you disagree with that statement, they will likely be offended. Besides, they'll think y... Tue, 3 Jan 2017 09:04:49 EST Zumba! Had some cereal with milk this morning. Not Paleo, but we need to go to the grocery store. I also seem to have issues when I drink milk (even Lactaid) so my tummy was upset after. But it got OK in time for me to do Zumba. What a workout! But so much fun. I'm also doing some resistance band stuff as part of one of my Team challenges. So excited that I made it through the holidays not only with not gaining, but with LOSING. I'm STORMING into the New Year!! What a year it's going to be!... Mon, 2 Jan 2017 12:01:38 EST Happy New Year and Let's Make Some Goals! One of my SparkTeams encouraged us to answer some specific questions as a challenge today. So I'll use that as my blog post: <BR> <BR> 1) What were 3 things you did exceptionally well in 2016? I didn't give up! I made morning exercise my habit. I stayed in close touch with my therapist and doctor. <BR> <BR> 2) What were 3 things that could have been done with more.... passion? Not sure - I'm passionate by nature and usually give my all if I'm going to bother to do it. <BR> <BR> 3) ... Sun, 1 Jan 2017 09:17:27 EST Change of Plans Well, hubby has a tummy bug, so we aren't going to our big New Year's shindig and drag show. Bummer. But I don't want to be without him, so it's all good. I just hate it when he's sick. Poor thing. <BR> <BR> Today I'm going to do an 8 mile bike ride for my fitness. It's chilly out, but the sun is shining and I don't want to waste it! <BR> <BR> Wishing you all a marvelously Happy New Year! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sat, 31 Dec 2016 10:55:03 EST In a Flash Not going to dwell on it, but I want to be honest and accountable. Last night I was out on a call late. I found myself going past a pizza place that was a favorite binge spot. Before I knew it, I was swerving in and ordered a pizza. The WHOLE TIME my brain was screaming, "What the hell are you doing?!" Over the rest of the evening, I ate about 4 pieces. I ended up throwing half of it away. I didn't enjoy it. It was a waste of money. It was mini, but it was still a binge. After 137 days...A bi... Fri, 30 Dec 2016 08:34:35 EST Not Giving Up the Group Idea For those who are playing the home game, I haven't given up my idea of starting a neighborhood Spark group. I keep saving articles for ideas, started working on a flyer (which I'm going to share with you guys for feedback), and talked to the Rec Center. The lady I talked to at the Rec Center thought my idea was GREAT. They are a for profit center that is located in my gated community, but she thought they may be willing to let me use one of the classrooms when it's not in use because they ... Thu, 29 Dec 2016 10:57:05 EST Pure Bliss Took Clancy for a hike in the nature park this morning. I had on my iPod and the soundtrack from "The Perfect Storm" by James Horner came on just as we climbed down a steep hill that leads to a pond. The sun came through the clouds and my heart sang. Even Clancy was smiling. <BR> <BR> Life is grand. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 27 Dec 2016 10:28:33 EST Goals and the Real World I was reading my Sparkcoach stuff and reviewing my goal board and something really stood out. "There will always be parties, travel, stress and busy periods that make it hard for you to stick to your ideal plan." <BR> <BR> Wait...what? OMG. You mean, that I DON'T have to finally be perfect every time, every choice, forevermore to reach my goals. OMG. <BR> <BR> Yeah, I know. I knew that on some level, but I don't think I really KNEW that. I think I'm learning it though. The last coup... Mon, 26 Dec 2016 06:30:45 EST Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I have had a lovely Christmas Day. Yesterday I had to go out on a case, but I still got done in time to enjoy a holiday party with some new friends. It was nice having somewhere special to go since I can't be with the kids and grandkids this year. I'm grateful that I got to spend some time with them over Skype! Today (so far) there have been no calls, and I got to enjoy another holiday party with more friends. He's a chef, so the food was off the chain. I chose to eat what appealed to m... Sun, 25 Dec 2016 21:42:12 EST Seriously? Headed out on a sexual assault case. So much for Silent Night <BR> <BR> I got this. Sat, 24 Dec 2016 14:12:21 EST Back to Work Still feeling a little rough. I think it's the steroids. But I think work will be good for distracting me. Looking forward to being back on a regular schedule in the New Year. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. <BR> Fri, 23 Dec 2016 11:18:04 EST Early Skype Christmas I am happy to say I'm feeling better. Still really tired and I know it's going to take a few days to get over this stuff. I go on the clock at 8:00 am in the morning, so hoping for a quiet weekend. <BR> <BR> Today I'm Skyping with my two sons (one in NC and one in Germany) my oldest son's family. Can't wait to see my Granddaughter opening her presents for her first Christmas! We're doing it early since both my younger son and I work this weekend. <BR> <BR> Hope you all have a great day... Thu, 22 Dec 2016 09:41:35 EST Sick and Frustrated Hey, guys. So I wound up in Urgent Care last night when I got back from training. Got two shots - antibiotics and steroids. Also got scrips for both. Not working out because I feel like I've been hit by a truck, plus I can hardly breathe. Frustrated, but I now it's life, so I'll suck it up. Already looking forward to the weekend and feeling better. I had this same crud last spring and waited to go to the doc. I wasn't making that same mistake again. I'm on call for the holiday, so res... Wed, 21 Dec 2016 08:17:33 EST Training Day Training today has been interesting. I'm taking a class about the medical aspects of child abuse and neglect. The last time I had this class it was 1993. So clearly there's been lots of changes in how medical professionals view certain things. My cold has progressed to be in my throat and I think it's headed to my chest. That sucks. I'm scheduled to work tomorrow night but I may have to do a sick day. I will definitely head to the doctor Wednesday morning. I want to make sure I'm able to wor... Mon, 19 Dec 2016 17:45:08 EST Mom's Gone! So despite the Aryan comments yesterday, my visit with my Mom was actually pleasant. Just the fact that she came at all shows she is trying somewhat, which I appreciate. I have long ago realized that she will never be what I would want in a mother. I can't change or control that. I can only be the best me I can be and get my affirmations from within (and from people in my life who have proven to be truly supportive). <BR> <BR> Coming down with a cold, so going to rest. This weather is... Sun, 18 Dec 2016 11:31:03 EST Mom's Here! So Mom and Stepdad are here. So far the visit has been pleasant. They got here about 11:00 am. We visited a bit. Then took them for seafood and walked around downtown a bit. Came home and have been watching movies on our MBOX. Of course, she had to show her true colors a few times. We're watching Schindler's List. She actually said, "You know, I know that Hitler wasn't great, but the whole idea of advancing us Aryans wasn't that bad." <BR> <BR> O_o <BR> <BR> Yeah. My Mom actually ... Sat, 17 Dec 2016 20:38:44 EST Happy Day I have really enjoyed today. I worked until 2:00 am and then couldn't sleep very well, but oh well. Went to the office briefly, then came home. Got to Skype with my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter Maeva who turns 1 tomorrow. What a doll. Sang for the senior center luncheon - they were all so sweet! Had lunch with my hubby downtown - and we live in a beautiful little historic town called New Bern, NC. You should check it out! Came home and got a good workout cleaning house. My ... Fri, 16 Dec 2016 17:20:04 EST Another Gig Tomorrow Yesterday afternoon just after 5:00 pm, I got a call from the County Senior Center. The Director said that some of the folks from her agency were at our holiday party yesterday and all they talked about when they got back was my singing. She wanted to know if I would come over tomorrow for THEIR luncheon and sing a few songs for them! How cool! Of course, I was happy to accept. Another awesome affirmation from the universe! <BR> <BR> I'm on call tonight, then off for the weekend. My Mom... Thu, 15 Dec 2016 08:42:19 EST I Did It! I sang for the party! It really went great. Folks were clapping on BOTH songs before I even got to the end. The first song was "All I Want For Christmas" by Mariah Carey. I sang it to our Director and had a guy holding up cards behind him at strategic times. For example, when I sang "I just want you for my own" the card said, "She's lying." When I sang, "All I want for Christmas is you" the card said, "And a raise." The crowd loved it and laughed uproariously. It was really a confiden... Wed, 14 Dec 2016 16:33:09 EST Anxious But Using My Tools I don't know if it's singing at the luncheon tomorrow or the fact that my mom is coming for a visit this weekend or what. My anxiety is through the roof this morning. I am determined however to push through it. I'm fixing to go to water aerobics. After that I'm going to work on my music for tomorrow and stop stressing over it. I am determined to just go there and sing and have fun and not worry about it. I don't know why my mind has this idea that I have to be perfect all the time. And that b... Tue, 13 Dec 2016 09:13:00 EST A Paleo Life For Me! I had an appointment today with my new doctor. I really like her! She said a lot of things that make sense to me. <BR> <BR> 1. I'm insulin resistant. I was very pleased to hear I'm not diabetic or even pre-diabetic. So I will be taking metformin for a couple of months to see if that helps. She said that causes you to retain weight in the mid-section. So taking this stuff should help me lose some weight, too. She also recommended a "Glycemic Manager" and Vitamin C. <BR> <BR> 2. M... Mon, 12 Dec 2016 13:57:33 EST Confidence Issues I am a singer. I've been singing my whole life. It's the one thing that makes me feel the most - whole. I used to sing full time and do concerts. Life happened and I lost sight of that dream. I got it back in my 50's, playing with local bands. My bands have been successful. People pay to hear me. I get asked to sing for just about everything. And yet... <BR> <BR> I'm scared to death to sing and for some reason it's getting worse. I'm not sure what's up with that. It's to the point... Sun, 11 Dec 2016 19:17:41 EST Too Tired to Think Straight I don't think I can formulate anything particularly intelligent. Did four home visits today and dealt with a few other phone calls. My brain is tired! One more day and then I get a break. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sat, 10 Dec 2016 18:40:44 EST Headed Home Thank you all for the prayers for my Dad. I am glad we came down. He is really depressed and it seems like the doctor is dragging his feet on getting him answers. Really frustrating! Please continue the prayers and healing energy. I didn't get my workouts in like I should have but did good on eating, especially vote situation. We are headed home. I am on call this weekend, but I will find some time to exercise. I need it badly. Hope you all have a fun and healthy weekend planned! I GOT THI... Fri, 9 Dec 2016 08:38:04 EST On the Road I love Sheetz. They have so many healthy options for a convenience store. I found a snack called "Broccoli Bites" byRhythm Super Foods that are delicious! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Wed, 7 Dec 2016 12:20:07 EST Tired, but Staying the Course! I know it's going to be a tough week. Feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. But I just told my hubby what my plans are for fitness while we are traveling, and he's going to help me follow through with my plans. Got through another Christmas gathering this morning without stumbling. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 6 Dec 2016 13:26:02 EST Progress and a Busy Week Ahead! I had two Christmas parties this weekend, and still maintained my healthy habits. I enjoyed a treat or two (in moderation) and a couple of glasses of wine, but no binging! I also am doing great keeping up with my fitness. What I love is that I realize more every day that I am NOT keeping my healthy habits because of weight loss - I'm doing it because I FEEL BETTER. I am able to deal with my stress better, I have more stamina to get things done, I am not depressed or anxious. I FEEL BETTE... Mon, 5 Dec 2016 13:09:56 EST Christmas Parade! So the Christmas party last night was a big success. I wore a sparkly mini dress with my rocker chick boots and felt awesome! I ate well. I am still struggling with my confidence on stage, but eventually got my butt up there and sang after everyone kept yelling my name (a big confidence booster - lol). Today we have our neighborhood Christmas party, so the weekend has helped cheer me up tremendously! <BR> <BR> <img src=" Sun, 4 Dec 2016 12:28:36 EST Joys and Sorrows of the Season Thank you for all of you who have been and are praying for my father. We have been told that he has liver cancer, so please continue to pray for him and my stepmother. It's not curable, but it is treatable. I'm happy that my father is keeping a positive attitude and plans to fight back. Cancer sucks. <BR> <BR> In other news, I had a great day today. I started with yoga and my instructor is just the best. I love at the beginning where she encourages us to "form an intention" for somethi... Sat, 3 Dec 2016 15:38:20 EST Pray for My Dad, Please My Dad is in the hospital. They have found a mass on his liver and are doing biopsy today. This time of year is always tough for me, because my younger brother died of colon cancer on 11/27/2012 and I was his caregiver. Handling things well, but I hate this... <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Fri, 2 Dec 2016 13:35:06 EST Thank You! Whew! The last two days were ROUGH. But I am so glad I reached out to my SP friends. You didn't let me down! The universe was also in my corner. I wound up with a case last night that took over 6 hours, so I didn't have time to sit around feeling depressed OR to even think about binging (much less doing it). <BR> <BR> Today I started with EXERCISE. I'm telling you - I don't know why I can't get it through my thick skull that exercise is my best friend, my best drug - my life saver. ... Thu, 1 Dec 2016 15:09:35 EST Being My Own Best Friend - But Please Help Me, Too... I don't know what happened. Somewhere between 4:30 -5:30 pm yesterday, my mood shifted - to a dark place. I have no explanation. Yesterday wasn't a bad day at all. I got up early and went to my two doc appointments. I came home and my hubby had decorated the outside of the house for Christmas, something he does because he knows I love it. I went to a good friend's house who does my hair and he always makes me laugh. He immediately said something about how great I'm looking. We had fu... Wed, 30 Nov 2016 14:07:41 EST