NARNIAROSE2003's SparkPeople Blog NARNIAROSE2003's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Weekend! Worked until 2 a.m. Up and on the way to the office to turn in my pager. Then going to the pool for water aerobics. Then Gary and I are going away for the weekend to the Carolina Renaissance Festival. We're going to forget about all our troubles and just have a good time. I can't wait. It will be a fun event lots of walking. I know I'm going to love the feeling of walking and not getting tired. Hope everyone has a fun weekend planned. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS! Fri, 21 Oct 2016 07:31:41 EST Tired and Angry I had to work late last night (not unusual) and I'm more tire than usual. I'm also a little sore, and I'm sure it's because I really push when doing laps and water aerobics. On top of that, my husband got an unsettling phone call this morning. A little background - when I met my husband, he was already retired and working as a hospice volunteer. My brother was in my care and dying of cancer. 27 days after I met my husband, I was at hospice, alone, watching my brother take his last breath... Thu, 20 Oct 2016 09:28:31 EST Don't Work to Lose Weight, Work to Be Healthy! I was reading a blog about a guy who lost hundreds of pounds. One of the things he said was "I was focused only on losing weight, not becoming healthy..." That really resonated with me, because any time we talk about "health" it always seems to equate with our weight. There is SO MUCH more to being healthy. In fact, for me, focusing on the totality of ME and all components of my life is how I know I'm being successful: <BR> <BR> 1. EMOTIONAL - I am still a little unsure if my emotional ... Wed, 19 Oct 2016 08:42:37 EST Yay for Chobani! We pause now for a commercial break: <BR> <BR> I love Chobani flips! - AND they now have the "Simply 100" that only have 100 calories. Good way to stave off hunger and they're delicious! <BR> <BR> We now return to your regularly scheduled Spark day. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 18 Oct 2016 14:23:14 EST I Survived the Weekend.... ...wish I could say the same for everyone I encountered, but that's part of social work. <BR> <BR> The good part is that the stress did not sway me from my goals. The compulsions are still under control. I have been binge-free for 58 days. I have lots of NSVs and yes, I've also lost 22 pounds. The best part, though, is that living healthy and responding to stress in positive ways is the habit again. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Mon, 17 Oct 2016 17:09:42 EST Eating Out Does NOT Mean Eating Poorly Not much time today as I'm on call and eating a quick lunch between cases. I have found that it's best to pack my lunch/snacks when I'm newly back in control. It keeps me from acting on those compulsions to binge when I have something close at hand and I remind myself, "Eat this. It's good for you. And in just a few minutes you won't feel hungry and the compulsion will go away." And it does. You are also likely to get less sodium in home made meals. If you are worried that even driving ... Sat, 15 Oct 2016 13:02:19 EST Happy Friday! What Are Your Healthy Plans for the Weekend? I often hear people talk about the weekend as being "my chance to take a break from my diet and exercise." I used to think about "cheat days" and "rest days" and just LONG for them. Oh, how messed up is that kind of thinking (and I speak these words for me - you have the right to your own opinion). <BR> <BR> When I truly have my mind right, I fully realize that when I'm living healthy, that is it's own REWARD. Eating right and exercising daily is doing what's best for me for so many reaso... Fri, 14 Oct 2016 11:53:49 EST I Ate A Jelly Donut - and That's Such A Win! Yep. Yesterday I ate a jelly donut. My husband had said something about donuts a few days ago. I have been wanting one. I'm not really a "sweets" binger, but I really wanted one. I was on the road all day yesterday flying to Tennessee and then driving our new Jeep back across Tennessee, Virginia and NC. I stopped for decaf coffee and they were there...the their little case...looking all sweet and delicious. I walked right past and went to the bathroom. While I was in there.... Thu, 13 Oct 2016 12:59:37 EST I Am a Super Hero! Going to the airport used to sound more like this: "OMG, I will probably have to walk forever because there is no close parking. That means I will sweat like a pig. Better just put your hair up, even though it's so much prettier down. And for God's sake, don't wear that new pretty dress. Too hot. Just wear some capri's and a big blousy shirt. Better pack some deodorant. With all that sweating, you may need more. OMG! Will they let me take that on the plane. Will probably have to buy some more... Wed, 12 Oct 2016 07:51:18 EST Busy, Busy, Busy....and Still Time For Healthy Choices! Had training today so didn't get to exercise in the morning. But that didn't stop me! Came home and rode 8.25 miles on my bike in 55 minutes. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I have to fly to Tennessee and drive my son's Jeep back that we bought from them (couldn't take it to Germany). But that won't stop me! I have a 90 minute layover, so guess who's going to be power walking? Yep, me! <BR> <BR> It's all about planning ahead and finding time and BEING HONEST. I used to say I just don't have time! ... Tue, 11 Oct 2016 18:38:14 EST Grateful Hurricane Matthew came and we have a little bit of lingering wind gusts, but no flooding, no injuries, and no property damage. I am pleased. Walked and biked several miles today to check on neighbors. Thank the gods. I GOT THIS. Sun, 9 Oct 2016 15:36:34 EST Hurricane Matthew is On His Way Looks like we're supposed to get at the least Tropical Storm force winds and a high probability of Hurricane winds up to 75 mph. The biggest worry is that we're slated to get up to 15" of rain. So hoping for the best. Hope all my SP friends stay safe in the storm. <BR> <BR> This morning I still did yoga and a cardio workout that had my clothes wringing wet when I was finished. No stinking Hurricane will keep me from meeting my goals! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sat, 8 Oct 2016 11:30:12 EST Once You Go Big! Just for fun, I wrote a song about my experiences back in my "serial dating days" about guys who would basically write off the big girls, just because we're big. Now, I'm not one of those "Fat Acceptance" people who think that if people want to be fat, that's perfectly OK and we should "accept" it. I love everyone, and believe me, if anyone can relate, it's me. But I will NEVER "accept" that this is just the way I am and give up on being healthy - and I won't support anyone else doing that ... Fri, 7 Oct 2016 11:52:43 EST Back From Tennessee The weekend was really busy. I played Saturday night. Got home and in bed about 11:30 pm. Got up at 2:30 am and drove 4 hours to Lexington, NC to pick up my younger son Joshua. Then we drove almost 4 more hours to Tennessee to spend time with my older son Jared and his wife Cierra and my 9 month old granddaughter, Maeva Such a lovely time we had! Cierra's family lives in the beautiful hills of Tennessee and it was nice and cool. Great weather! It was so hard to put them on the plane ... Wed, 5 Oct 2016 12:13:12 EST Late Night and Still Treating Myself Right! I ended up out in the field until almost 10:00 pm last night, then back at the agency until almost 1:00 am this morning on the phone and doing documentation. Here are the good choices I made: <BR> <BR> Choice #1: Dinner - there's a Wendy's nearby. I like their small chili and a side salad, but I hadn't eaten much and did 80 minutes of fitness, so I didn't want to eat too little. I got out my trusty SP app on my phone while I was in the drive through. Saw several healthy options. Then I... Sat, 1 Oct 2016 11:01:30 EST Weekend Whirlwind Starts in 1, 2, 3.... Been on call all week and still managed to keep up all my healthy habits!  Started today with an hour of water aerobics and a brisk walk/jog with Clancy for about 22 minutes.  On call again tonight, but giving up the pager in the morning to my awesome co-worker Teresa who is covering the rest of the weekend.  <BR> <BR> I'll be playing tomorrow night at The City Laundry in New Bern (Tracey unplugged!) from 7:00 - 10:00 pm.  This will be the first time I've performed any solo stuff since........ Fri, 30 Sep 2016 11:23:47 EST Rough Morning - But New Habits Win! My husband and I had to go to the DMV this morning to get a tag for our new Jeep. My husband is pretty much perfect, but he doesn't have a lot of patience. So I was already on high alert.....wait....what? Why would I be on "high alert"? Well, I think I figured it out. <BR> <BR> When I was married to my first husband for 17 years, it was bad. He was in and out of prison, had a drug habit, was horribly emotionally abusive and asshole. I was very much a damaged, doormat kind of ... Thu, 29 Sep 2016 14:32:54 EST Long Week! Usually when I'm on call it's for 2 or 3 days at a time. That's mostly because we can often be out all night on a call and then have to finish the documentation for those cases before the next morning, so the regular social workers can pick up and finish the assessments. So 3 days can be EXTREMELY rough. One weekend I worked 42 out of 48 hours - no lie. This week I'm on 5 days in a row, so I can be off to go see my son and his family off to Germany for 3 years next week. <BR> <BR> Last tw... Wed, 28 Sep 2016 11:43:50 EST I Am Victorious! Well, I just wrote the most awesome blog ever, and my computer acted stupid and lost it. No time to rewrite it now.... <BR> <BR> but I'm victorious! Will try again tomorrow to tell you why! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 27 Sep 2016 13:27:53 EST It All Happens So Fast... I haven't had a "depressed" day for a while. I got up early this morning because I wasn't sleeping well (nothing new and I'm working on a solution). So instead of watching something mindless, I did some work in my "Healing Your Aloneness" workbook which my therapist assigned. <BR> <BR> Then when my husband got up and came into the room, I suddenly realized I felt really depressed. Sat here awhile and then it hit me, "You were working on emotional stuff." It apparently brought in some e... Mon, 26 Sep 2016 08:49:03 EST I Am Not a Peacock - I Am Perfecting So the other day, I posted this picture on Facebook of my new swim goggles and swim cap: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I post things about my fitness frequently. Its one of my secrets to keeping healthy habits. It not only helps me stay accountable, but others are often inspired to make healthy changes and they will tell me about it. What can be more motivating than to hear someone say "you inspired me" to ... Sun, 25 Sep 2016 09:06:19 EST Oops I Did It Again.... No, it's not Britney b$tch. I went out last night with friends and had a great time! Chose fish tacos for dinner and only ate one because I was full and I didn't want to be overly full for dancing. The band was playing outside at a waterfront bar, but it was still HOT AND HUMID, so the dancing we did probably burned ever more calories. <BR> <BR> No, the oops is that I took an extra sleep pill last night because I knew I could sleep later and I'm still struggling with getting to sleep at... Sat, 24 Sep 2016 15:37:52 EST Yay, It's Friday! Going to water aerobics this morning. I was going to try something new and do an exercise class that started at 7:30 but had to go to the office (got a page last night) instead. After water aerobics, headed to do the grocery shopping. Lots of new ideas for healthy stuff! Then some much needed rest and then out with friends tonight! I'm going to limit myself to one glass of wine or one drink (vodka with tonic water is my go-to) and then I'm going to dance, dance, dance! Hope everyone has... Fri, 23 Sep 2016 07:42:55 EST Today is My Friday! Up late last night working then couldn't sleep well. Went to the office early and got reports turned in. Went to the pool and had a great time doing water aerobics. I HOPE I can get a good nap in, since I'm on call again tonight. But then I get a three day weekend! Going out Friday with my adored husband and friends to see another friend's band (Trainwreck!) play. Looking forward to some dancing! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Thu, 22 Sep 2016 11:23:40 EST Walking on Wednesday Had a little shoulder pain and I read an article that swimming (especially the way I do it) can be one of those things that causes shoulder injury. So I don't want to overdo it. Besides, I know that for me, changing up what I do for fitness keeps me from getting bored. Plus, it helps you work different muscles. So today, I took our dog Clancy for a very brisk walk for a half hour. He is overweight, too, so we need to be more committed to helping him get healthier, too. Lipton, my Chihua... Wed, 21 Sep 2016 12:30:27 EST I Came Out Today!! No, it's not what you think - I'm not gay (but I fully support those who are - love is love!). I came out in a different way today. We had a Division meeting at work. The emphasis today was on being healthy and self-care. I thought, "Heck, this is perfect!" I announced to everyone, "I'm 54 and I've struggled my whole life with Binge Eating Disorder - even though I didn't know that was what it was. I'm proud to say that today I'm 30 days binge-free. I'm sharing this for two reasons: 1) ... Tue, 20 Sep 2016 18:21:57 EST,,! Had a busy weekend, but did well and feel productive. Worked 12.5 hours on Saturday and 13 yesterday. I didn't exercise yesterday and all day long I had the "do something quick" panic voice in my head. I probably could have done at least 10 minutes, and my goal next time is to DO IT. But I don't feel so bad because I still ate well and I know that sometimes you just got to REST. I have to say, though, that's one of those "voices" I hope sticks around! I like him. :) <BR> <BR> Anywho, ... Mon, 19 Sep 2016 07:39:27 EST One More Day! Then I get two days off. Getting to the office early to dump the pager and get over to my water aerobics class in the morning. Can't wait! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sun, 18 Sep 2016 17:43:25 EST Busy! No time to blog, but wanted to say hi! Staying the course despite the stress of the day! I GOT THIS! Sat, 17 Sep 2016 22:16:36 EST And....We're Off! This is going to be a busy weekend (I think). I never know with my job, but I'm on call until Monday morning at 8:00 am and you never know what you're going to get. One weekend I worked 42 out of 48 hours (no lie). Normally I would have today open until 4:00 pm when I get the pager, but I have the last day of some training I had to attend. SO - got my exercise in this morning and doing as much on Spark as I can before I hit the showers. I did a 30 minute power walk (with some cardio danc... Fri, 16 Sep 2016 07:17:14 EST Uh oh...Full Moon this Weekend! I'm on call this weekend, but I'm planning ahead to be sure I can still get some fitness in. Of course, I'm at the mercy of the pager and people's actions, but I will still MAKE time - even if it's only 10 minutes here and there. <BR> <BR> Improved my swimming time yesterday - did 1.37 miles in 60 minutes. I actually looked up "average time to swim a mile." It said that most men in their late 40's are NOT EVEN ABLE to swim a mile. Well, damn! Go me! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Thu, 15 Sep 2016 20:48:59 EST Updates from Yesterday I had two important appointments yesterday. One was my therapy appointment. It was exciting telling Dr. B about how I have really been using the tools he's giving me. I told him about last Thursday at the hotel, when I had the revelation that my mood and motivation totally went down the drain because of the "old" voices always telling me what others are (supposedly) thinking. He was really pleased that I was learning to literally talk out loud to "little Tracey" and help her stop believin... Tue, 13 Sep 2016 12:32:36 EST Busy is No Excuse! Went to water aerobics - they called it on account of thunder, even nixed indoor (because it's glassed-in I guess?). Came home and cranked up the fitness videos. Did 10 minutes of yoga stretch (ouchie, but so good when you're done!) and 30 minutes of cardio dance with some kickboxing thrown in. Always have a back-up plan! It takes away any excuses you might have to skip exercise. This was especially important today because I am totally affected by the weather - totally feeling that "rain... Mon, 12 Sep 2016 10:11:32 EST Lazy Sunday - NOT! Had a lovely sleep last night. Ate a small, but healthy breakfast and had my morning (decaf) coffee. Now off to the pool to swim laps. Yesterday I beat my record for the mile - did it in 39 minutes (it was 45 last time - KILLED IT!). Later today, going to some friends of ours to play music and have dinner. Our host is an AMAZING CHEF so I'm eating light today, but I'm still NOT going to binge. Planning for GREATNESS again. BTW - if you're not doing your Sparkpoints day (I mean ALL of t... Sun, 11 Sep 2016 09:50:58 EST Vintage and Victorious! Yep, that's me! I was responding to a faithful sparkfriend (Thanks Gary!) who always offers encouragement and thought I'd use my response as my blog today. <BR> <BR> I really do believe that age is just a number. I see so many people WAY younger than me who are just "existing" day by day, sitting around, not happy, complaining, and already planning for death. <BR> <BR> NOT ME. I will keep working on understanding who I am and what motivates me until I die. I guess some people would s... Sat, 10 Sep 2016 10:17:07 EST In the Presence of Greatness I read this recently in a SP article and kept it because it really resonated with me: "Those moments after feeling defeated are the most important moments on your journey, the ones that define who you are, how tough your spirit can be and how much you want that end goal. How you react means the difference between same old same old and greatness." <BR> <BR> I didn't blog yesterday, which usually means I was either crazy busy, or I had a setback. was the latter. Sort of. <BR> <... Fri, 9 Sep 2016 20:06:13 EST Travel Day One- A Rousing Success! Up at 5:00 am and on the road by 6:00 am. Had to get the county car and got breakfast at the Dunkin' Donuts on the way - but be ye not dismayed! Even DD has a healthy choice or two if you do your homework. I got the veggie flatbread which was delicious. Brought protein bars for snacks and had one of those at the first break (and also got in 10 minutes of walking). Lunch was tuna on flatbread at the Subway with baked chips and some thrift store shopping (which I love). jAbout 2:00 pm, I ... Wed, 7 Sep 2016 20:32:58 EST Planning for Success! 2FIT2BFAB gave me a great idea - find others to workout with while I'm out of town. That got me thinking - find a class! I'm so excited! I don't want to do what I used to do which is get bad things to eat and go sit in front of the TV in the room in the evening. I googled Zumba classes and found an instructor named Erika Woods in Fayetteville. I called the number and left a message and she called right back. She's going to get me in for free and I can do classes Wednesday night AND Thursday... Tue, 6 Sep 2016 20:02:13 EST Thinking Things Through I made a decision. I had joined one of the SparkTeams that is really active and seems like a lot of fun. BUT there was so much going on, I began to stress about getting all the rules down, getting all the required posts up, and struggling to understand all the rules. So - I stopped. I have learned that trying to do too much, too soon can just sabotage my efforts. Right now I'm focusing on the simple, daily habits I've been successful at before. I am exercising daily (in the mornings as ... Tue, 6 Sep 2016 13:24:12 EST Dragging A LittleToday Had a rough time sleeping last night. Really busy day and my pager went off just as I was trying to settle down to sleep, which totally got my adrenalin running again, so that was probably the culprit. Did not do morning exercise and I can totally tell the difference in how I feel. Absolutely amazing what difference that makes. Still doing fine though and no binging, so that's good. Going to try to do some kind of fitness later today. Still working, though, so might be hard. I'm off to... Mon, 5 Sep 2016 14:09:56 EST Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming, Swimming.... Today I swam a MILE. A whole mile! I took me 48 minutes and I was alternating between crawl, backstroke and breaststroke. Swimming is my FAVORITE exercise because I burn so many calories, work so many muscles and I've always loved being in the water. I'm going to buy a new fitness tracker that's waterproof so I can track my laps. I've been researching them and Sparkpeople has a really good article to help. But has anyone got one they really like? Would love to hear some "personal" revi... Sun, 4 Sep 2016 11:17:44 EST Tracey and the Tropical Storm On call last night so of course, I ended up with an Immediate report that I had to initiate. The good news is that I got all my fitness and over 13000 steps in even before I got the report! I'm telling you, this morning exercise stuff is the way to go. Still on call, so no more time to chat, but wanted to check in! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sat, 3 Sep 2016 13:00:18 EST Training Day - Part Deux Yesterday was a huge success! Took two healthy snacks for the day - only ate the morning snack because I wasn't hungry in the afternoon and knew I was meeting a friend for an early dinner. Got a healthy lunch from the "Grab and Go" section of th Publix. Not everything they have there is a healthy option, but I got a mini turkey and cheese sandwich and something called "Wheatberry Salad." Not what "old" Tracey would have ever picked, but the Tracey who views food as fuel loved it! Had a b... Fri, 2 Sep 2016 07:15:42 EST Training Day I have to be in the office during the "regular" work hours for the next two days. That totally messes up my favorite workout (swimming) in the morning, because the pool isn't open early enough. SO- I planned ahead and got up early enough this morning to do yoga and cardio dance videos at home! I am also planning to walk during breaks and also during lunch if it's not storming and/or blazing hot (welcome to NC). <BR> <BR> I'm also working on a SparkCoach goal of finding more local suppor... Thu, 1 Sep 2016 07:27:26 EST Knowledge is Power - and I'm Going to Use It in a POWERFUL Way! Had my endoscopy today. Results? My former RNY is still in place and has NOT stretched. I have to acknowledge that the only reason I've been able to "eat my way through it" is because of the food choices I was making. Carbs (like pasta) are easy to move through your stomach, no matter how small it is. Eating small portions throughout the day will only work if you DON'T choose things like chips, pizza,etc. The doctor didn't say any of that - I did. I KNOW that I wasn't putting the right... Wed, 31 Aug 2016 14:26:55 EST To Cut or Not to Cut, That is the Question... So when I was still in the throes of my months-long binge, I had reconnected with the practice that did my gastric bypass surgery in 2001. They told me that I might be a candidate for lap-band over RNY if certain things line up. So I went for a chest X-ray and tomorrow I have an upper endoscopy. I think after that I have a consultation with the doctor and will know if I am a candidate. <BR> <BR> The question is - now that I'm back in control, do I risk surgery? Not sure. I have proven ... Tue, 30 Aug 2016 16:42:01 EST SCHEDULE it - you're worth it! One of the things I've found to be most helpful to me is to be sure and SCHEDULE time each day to be healthy. Not just fitness, although that's definitely the main thing I make sure I plan ahead for; but also time for Sparkpoints. Now I know you're saying all the things I did - what? Schedule something ELSE into my day? Are you crazy? But in reality, for me, even when I was younger and had the kids at home and was working two jobs - there was time. Think about it - how much time do you ... Mon, 29 Aug 2016 08:32:35 EST The Beast is Back! Been back in "beast" mode now for 7 days and it feels GREAT. Did laps in the pool for 30 minutes straight today. Beat my first day record by 6 laps! Then did strength training for 30 minutes. Got one question though - how many calories do you burn getting into a sports bra? HOLY COW. Trying to get that stupid thing on right after getting out of the pool was hilarious! Only my well-endowed friends will understand, I'm sure. LOL. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Sun, 28 Aug 2016 15:32:25 EST Leaves of Change Fall Challenge Goals I was invited by my new Sparkfriend AMY_1217 to join the Leaves of Change Fall Challenge, so I did! She also challenged our Team members to post our Fall goals so here are mine: <BR> <BR> 1. Log in to Sparkpeople every day. <BR> 2. Track my nutrition and water intake every day. <BR> 3. Continue my current NO BINGE streak and eat intuitively, EVEN WHEN I'M OUT OF TOWN because I have a few days away this month for training (a trigger for me in the past). Hey! I actually got a great idea.... Sat, 27 Aug 2016 14:36:01 EST Still Sparking! Awesome day yesterday! Dinner with friends and totally ate intuitively. Stayed way under my recommended calories for the day - which I DON'T like to do. It seems if I don't eat enough, it makes me plateau. So will work on that. But I also did tons of exercise, so it's tough to make it up in one day. No worries - I'm here and still sparking! Happy Saturday, everyone! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sat, 27 Aug 2016 11:04:14 EST