NARNIAROSE2003's SparkPeople Blog NARNIAROSE2003's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community November Stats Well, I weighed this morning and the verdict is in.... <BR> <BR> I MUST BE DOING IT RIGHT! I didn't lose any "new" weight, but I did lose that 5 pounds that showed up the last time I cheated and weighed and freaked out. What I did lose was INCHES - 10.5 in total! Three inches from my waist, 1 inch off my hips, 3.5 inches from my thighs, and 3" in my neck. That's pretty cool! I can tell my clothes are looser, I'm feeling stronger and more flexible, I have more stamina. I'M DOING THIS.... Tue, 1 Dec 2015 19:57:45 EST Tomorrow is Weigh Day Except for one slip up (which created an explosion in the universe because it was so bad and shocking) I have waited faithfully to keep my commitment to weigh only once a month on the first of each month. I'm also going to take my measurements. But because the scale can be deceptive (particularly when you start a more intensive workout that builds muscles, like I have), I wanted to consider all the other things I've done this month so that the scale will not cause me to lose heart. During t... Mon, 30 Nov 2015 18:38:14 EST It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas! Enjoyed a very productive but stress-relieving day. Put up some new curtains in my breakfast nook and decorated the table with Christmas placemats and a tree. Decorated the outside of the house with Gary. Did all the laundry. Finished my Christmas cards. Paid bills. Practiced some solo stuff - going to do a "side" gig at the local restaurant soon. Put up three pop lights. Did some paperwork to get a jump on the week at the office. Made tea and boiled eggs. Going to pack my breakfast,... Sun, 29 Nov 2015 18:51:49 EST It Always Works! Lots of triggers for me this month. Struggling daily with some kind of underlying sadness. But the minute I get off my duff and do some exercise - it's gone! Went for a 45 minute walk with my boyfriend (so happy he did it with me!), then gained more energy to get all the Christmas stuff out, get the tree up and decorated, too! Tonight we're going out to see a friend's band and scope out another band that's our biggest competition. So I'll be dancing a lot later! Going to get the outside ... Sat, 28 Nov 2015 16:12:00 EST SparkCoach Task: 5 Great Reasons To Workout 1. To get more energy <BR> 2. To reach my goals <BR> 3. To fight depression <BR> 4. To fight anxiety <BR> 5. To sleep better <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Fri, 27 Nov 2015 19:27:48 EST 7-Day Goal for SparkCoach This week I WILL track at least 45 minutes of fitness daily. Thu, 26 Nov 2015 18:06:34 EST Happy Thanksgiving! I am with my oldest son and daughter-in-law in Columbia, SC. He is a Drill Sgt at Ft. Jackson and she is 8 months pregnant with my Granddaughter who shall be named Maeva Elaine. Bless his heart, he just got a load of privates so didn't get home until 5:00 am. He doesn't have to be back until 5:00 am tomorrow so at least I get to see him today. He said he has to feed his privates Thanksgiving dinner. Then they do PT until they all throw up. I guess I should be saying "bless THEIR hearts." Mean... Thu, 26 Nov 2015 08:19:23 EST Ugh Bad day. Not going to dwell. Tomorrow is another day. I GOT THIS. No...Really. Tue, 24 Nov 2015 21:47:53 EST SparkCoach Assignment In one word how do I feel today? CONTROLLED Mon, 23 Nov 2015 14:35:25 EST Anniversary Dates? Not sure what's up, but last night and today, I suddenly got EXTREMELY emotional and irritable. My poor boyfriend was like, "What is up with you?" Still not sure, but I think it might be anniversary dates. Those are "triggers" that cause feelings to come up from past experiences and you may not even know what they were. For example, kids who have been abused and neglected might suddenly exhibit challenging behaviors when something "triggers" a memory. (If they entered foster care in the ... Sun, 22 Nov 2015 20:08:01 EST Wow - Clarity is SUCH an Amazing Thing I haven't missed a day of exercise in....well, weeks. Yesterday was the first time in awhile that I didn't start the day with exercise. I was just sitting here feeling very anxious and a little emotional - for no particular reason. <BR> <BR> Well, DUH. There is a reason - NO EXERCISE. I haven't felt hardly any anxiety, depression, and my energy has been through the roof. THAT'S the benefit of daily, morning exercise for ME. Plus I ate part of a cheesecake yesterday. Don't get me wrong, ... Sat, 21 Nov 2015 10:04:31 EST Friday Exhausted. Was able to work only 8 hours so that was nice. Had dinner out with my love. Have a gig tomorrow. First day I can remember in a long time that I didn't exercise, but I'm so tired. Chilling now and going to get a good night's sleep. Have a great weekend! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Fri, 20 Nov 2015 19:25:22 EST Late Afternoon STRESSIES Not going to call it MUNCHIES because I'm making sure I'm not hungry. Days like the last two are a struggle just about 3:30 because I'm on the run CONSTANTLY, on the phone CONSTANTLY, in the car doing home visits CONSTANTLY, and stressing because my documentation is behind, did I check on this?, did I check on that?, etc., etc. <BR> <BR> TODAY I WILL BE THE MASTER OF MY STRESS. I will not let it get the best of me. I have worked too hard and I'm continuing to work hard. Today I will ta... Thu, 19 Nov 2015 05:53:14 EST Ditto What I said yesterday.. But more. I GOT THIS. Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:06:33 EST A Day in the Life.... ...of a social worker. In one day - child sexual abuse, domestic violence, animal cruelty, extreme filth, emotional abuse, suicide, inappropriate discipline, drug-exposed infant, and homelessness. No wonder I'm fried..... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 17 Nov 2015 20:12:33 EST Almost Level 18! Just need a little over 70 points! That's pretty cool. It's a real motivator for me. I love getting the team digests on Sundays. Of the 5 teams I'm in, I'm almost always in the top five for both spark points AND fitness minutes! Plus I really make sure I EARN those Sparkpoints. It would be easy to just click on those Sparkpoints and lie - but why would you do that? It's for YOU. And if you really do the Sparkpoints daily, it requires that you track everything, read and educate yourself... Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:25:47 EST Holiday Cards! I love the tradition of sending and receiving holiday cards. If you want to be included in the fun, please send me a sparkmail with your address so I can send you some holiday cheer! I am so grateful for you all and consider you part of the family of my heart. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sun, 15 Nov 2015 18:06:23 EST Sunday Update Great gig last night! Got home and in bed around 3:00 am. Up at 8:35. Still tired, but trying to get motivated. Going to unpack my gear and get my room set back up in a bit, do a little exercise, then do some other work, then chill. Restful Sunday to you all. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. <BR> Sun, 15 Nov 2015 12:40:57 EST I Cheated.... ...but not on food. I cheated by looking at that darned scale! Sheesh. I had made a commitment to only weigh once a month so I'm not so fixated on the numbers but on the results. Well, I got on it thinking...1 pound? 2? Oooh, what if it's 3? And then.... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> A FOUR POUND GAIN. What the hell? How can that POSSIBLY be right? I've exercised every morning, eaten right, been on SP... Sat, 14 Nov 2015 11:04:15 EST Loopy Post Ahead Took drugs, had dental work done, no panic attacks. Yay. Still loopy though and tired. "Sleeping it off" so I can get back to work tomorrow. <BR> <BR> In other news, my boyfriend bought me the Shure 58 mic and new boom stand I wanted. I iz spoiled. Yay. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Thu, 12 Nov 2015 17:28:42 EST Thank You Veterans! My son is a Drill Sergeant in the US Army and I'm so proud of him. Thank you to all of our military and our Veterans. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Wed, 11 Nov 2015 07:53:15 EST A Special Anniversary - 35 Years of Living Life I saw the date on my computer - November 10th - and realized that today is my anniversary. 35 years ago on November 10th, 1980, I was a troubled 18 year old college Freshman, who was so tired of the pain of my life, that I tried to end it. I actually tried for 3 days in a row, taking all kinds of pills and leaving a detailed letter about how sorry I was for being the awful person that I was, and each day - I woke up, with no effects at all. On this day 35 years ago, I took a bottle of slee... Tue, 10 Nov 2015 19:56:26 EST Terrific Tuesday Poor Tuesday. Kind of gets a bum rap - too soon in the week for anyone to get all excited about it. BUT! Today Tuesday gets to be a FRIDAY! Go Tuesday! We have tomorrow off for Veteran's Day. I'm going to work late tonight to get some paperwork caught up, then enjoy tomorrow off. Then....the dreaded Thursday will be here and I go back to try the dentist again.... BUT TODAY IS TUESDAY AS A FRIDAY! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 10 Nov 2015 05:50:01 EST Manic Monday So much for "I think I'll stay in the office today and catch up on paperwork on this rainy day." Ended up with a new sexual abuse case and hit the ground running, then taught the Monday night children's group for a total of 12 hours with no break. Home now. Ate well, exercised first thing this morning so always assured of getting in my fitness. Tomorrow will probably be another 12 hour day but at least I get Wednesday off. Happy Monday everyone! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Mon, 9 Nov 2015 20:38:55 EST Crazy NC Weather It was almost 80 on Friday and so humid you could wash a donkey's butt. Yesterday it was beautiful. Today is overcast, rainy and in the '50's. LOL - welcome North Cackalacky! I'm in my pajama's and my boyfriend's wooly socks with my hair in pig tails. Going to cook a healthy omelette in a few. Going to get my gear back in the Diva room in a little while, practice a bit today, workout and cook some dinner. Have a great Sunday! Sun, 8 Nov 2015 09:07:18 EST "Being Numb No Longer Suits Me" I was reading my new People magazine (don't judge me - lol) and there's an article about Shonda Rhimes. She is the producer of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal. She also has lost over 100 pounds and is quite inspirational. A quote from her just really struck me: "Food makes you feel better. It numbs you. The thing is? Being numb no longer suits me." Wow - that is totally it! Once you finally throw off that blanket - that heavy, heavy blanket - of despair and depression, of mindless binging... Sat, 7 Nov 2015 21:21:29 EST Feeling Empowered Every time I feel like I may not be making progress, I remember where I once was. I couldn't walk without pain. I binged ate carbs several times a day. I only bought clothes because I found something that fit, not because it was what I wanted. I was depressed. I isolated. I was miserable. NOW I have healthy HABITS. I enjoy eating well. I enjoy exercise. I LIVE LIFE! Fri, 6 Nov 2015 11:19:25 EST Court Today and Rockin' Tonight! Have to testify this morning, then have a new case to initiate. Got a gig tonight! Happy Friday! Fri, 6 Nov 2015 08:50:33 EST So In Love Had a totally blah day yesterday, but having my habits in place carried me through. MANY TIMES there was that voice trying to get me to lapse into old "comfort" habits, but the stronger voice was the one saying, "Don't do it! You'll feel like crap and this mood stuff will get worse!" Very cool to see that happening. Then when I got home, my Gary had bought me flowers to cheer me up. I love him so much. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Thu, 5 Nov 2015 07:21:58 EST Feeling the Effects of the Rain Got up this morning to workout as is now my habit (YAY *Kermit arms*) - but my energy wasn't there. I did my workouts and I do feel better, but I can feel that "mood" thing just under the surface. Not sure if it's hormones, the weather (I HATE RAIN) or what; but it bears acknowledging. Probably should call this the danger zone - because on most days like this, the old me would TOTALLY lapse into "comfort" eating and then feel like crap and get more depressed and binge - rinse and repeat. ... Wed, 4 Nov 2015 05:53:55 EST Office Day Thankful to have had an almost full day in the office. The life of a social worker is a mixture of VERY important constant contacts to assure that children are safe coupled with VERY important documentation of efforts made to assure that safety. Lots of phone calls, medical/mental health/educational records reviews, and constant assessment of risk. Quite exhausting - but I love it. However, I hate the stress of having my documentation getting behind, so it was nice to have this time today... Tue, 3 Nov 2015 20:30:45 EST WEIGHT a Minute! Or how about a month? I read a really good article that came up on my Start page this morning about not obsessing about the scale. I lost a pound this morning and that was all good, but like the article pointed out - there is SO MUCH MORE to use to measure progress. Things like body measurements, stamina and energy levels, mood, sleep quality, flexibility, the way my clothes fit, etc. I'm sure there are other things you can't measure - like how the healthy nutrients I'm consuming (instead... Mon, 2 Nov 2015 07:39:43 EST Resting Today - No, REALLY So this weekend was so great. Playing two gigs is quite a bit, but I am still thrilled at my stamina and the obvious benefits I'm feeling from getting back in shape. We got a few pics (bad phone camera on some) but thought I'd share. Hope you all have a restful day! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=... Sun, 1 Nov 2015 13:08:10 EST HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Last night was the BOMB! Two things struck me - how NOT tired I was after playing three sets until almost 2:00 am AND the number of guys that hit on me. Of course, everyone wants to meet the band, guys were drinking, etc. - but I don't care! It's fun to feel attractive. Of course, I was quick to point out that I was with the handsome pirate sitting across the room smiling at me while I "networked" the crowd. No one makes me feel like he does - and that's pretty awesome, too! Doing it al... Sat, 31 Oct 2015 14:00:47 EST Forever Young ZEN PIRATES WILL ROCK HALLOWEEN! My band is playing tonight from 9:00 PM - 2:00 AM and then doing it all again at another place tomorrow night! I'm going as a....Pirate! Will post some pics and maybe video if someone takes video. I totally don't have to worry about fitness minutes on days like this. I burn almost 2,000 calories between loading and unloading and then playing and dancing for 4 hours. Can't wait! By Sunday, I will totally remember I'm 53....but until then I will be FOREVE... Fri, 30 Oct 2015 05:39:25 EST Everybody's Working for the Weekend! It's late and I better get my butt in bed. Worked 12 hours today. Got a full day tomorrow, then gigs both Friday and Saturday nights with Zen Pirates. Rock on everyone! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Thu, 29 Oct 2015 21:08:23 EST Hit Me With Your Best Shot Well, they tried.... <BR> <BR> They hit me with the gas, let Gary come back with me to talk me through it....but it didn't work. I HAD to sit up and get the nose thing off me. I couldn't do it. I felt the panic attack coming on and that is what terrified me. The dentist and his staff were so sweet. I started crying because I felt so stupid, but they said, "It happens all the time. Don't worry about it. Why put yourself through all that fear and anxiety if you don't have to?" <BR> <B... Wed, 28 Oct 2015 18:20:25 EST Hurts So Good Today I have to go to the dentist. I put "Hurts So Good" because I know how important dental care is to your overall health. (Plus the Zen Pirates cover that song!) I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST. It's not the pain that bothers me, it's having someone all up in my mouth. It freaks me out because I'm claustrophobic. Plus I panic when they deaden my mouth and it gets anywhere near my throat because I think I can't breathe. I do the happy pills usually and do fine, but ever since that recent... Wed, 28 Oct 2015 07:24:42 EST Feelings.....Nothing More Than Feelings So I thought I'd stick with the song theme! And don't worry - this won't be an emotional "feelings" blog. It's about FEELING - like with your hand! The quick story? I just finished a workout and reached down to scratch my calf - and I thought, "Hey, that feels SKINNY." LOL. Certainly skinny in my world has its own meaning - but woo hoo! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 27 Oct 2015 05:56:58 EST Just Another Manic Monday Hey - that would make a cool song.... Anywho, today will be crazy busy. Started great with yoga, just did a cardio break, packed all my food for the day. Let's rock! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Mon, 26 Oct 2015 10:33:29 EST Thirty Days Can TOTALLY Change the Game So I've been back on SP for a little over 30 days after a 3 month relapse. During the last 30 days, I've done the following: <BR> <BR> 1. Committed to and stuck to (for 99% of the time) a healthy high protein, low carb intuitive eating process (we don't say the "d" word). <BR> 2. Almost weaned myself off of caffeine. (Doing the half and half coffee.) <BR> 3. Made a habit of drinking at least 8 glasses of water daily. <BR> 4. Made a habit (YAY!!!! *KERMIT ARMS*) of exercising every mor... Sun, 25 Oct 2015 15:53:23 EST Thanks, Universe! So on my Start Page for SP today, it had this quote: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Another affirmation! I did discover something that I can use in the future. Just another reason not to mourn when you have a "mistake", but to move on! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sat, 24 Oct 2015 09:48:34 EST The Anatomy of Addiction OK, so this just happened and I want to write it down - as painful as it is. <BR> <BR> About 11:30 I was way out in the middle of nowhere doing a home visit. I didn't pack my lunch today because....well, I was like, "It's Friday and you'll probably be driving around a lot. You can get something healthy." And most times I do..but not today. I was very near Beaufort and my all-time favorite pizza: Mediterranean Shrimp. OMG is it good. So I went and got a small pizza. Its designed for ... Fri, 23 Oct 2015 16:09:02 EST Great (and BUSY) Day Ahead! Woke up well before my alarm and hopped up. Had to break down my equipment and get it loaded for a 2 hour rehearsal tonight; so I put on my iPod and danced while I was packing it up and loading the car. Got in 30 minutes of cardio doing that plus dancing. Did the 10 minute Core Workout for my current challenge (starting to love those things!). Have 3 home visits today and probably getting a new case. Doubt if I'll get to the huge stack of paperwork, but I can only do so much. Better say... Fri, 23 Oct 2015 06:28:22 EST Blip on the Radar! Almost had a relapse today. Really busy day in court today. Late afternoon I was really "hungry." Wanted something other than my sandwich. Tried to make a "good" protein choice and got Bojangles and pintos (no bread or potatoes) but then started eating the sandwich, too. About halfway through the sandwich, I was like "what the heck are you doing?" I had some pumpkin seeds, so I threw the sandwich out the first chance I got and munched on the seeds until the craving passed. Weird. Had t... Thu, 22 Oct 2015 20:36:07 EST And Now...the News Big headline? Not much happening here! Still going strong...but wait! As I sat here, I thought, "You totally had some victories today - talk about that! The little things DO make a difference!" So here we go: <BR> <BR> 1. Slept last night with NO meds. Had no stupid issues. <BR> 2. Woke up on my own with no alarm. <BR> 3. Took a brisk 1.3 miles walk in the 37 degree fall weather and LOVED it! <BR> 4. Realized while walking that when I do punches and arm lifts while walking, my arms... Tue, 20 Oct 2015 19:31:24 EST Courtroom! On the stand today. I have always loved testifying, especially when the defense attorney is trying so hard to rattle you. It has been about 15 years since I did it though, so I am a little nervous. But started the day with cardio and yoga, and dressed to bring it on! I GOT THIS! Mon, 19 Oct 2015 08:19:54 EST Rest? Who Needs Rest? I meant for today to be total rest....but I can't hardly do that anymore! I did 4 hours of work (have a case in court tomorrow, so needed to get ready for that); rehearsed for 2 hours; did laundry; cooked breakfast; and cooked dinner. I didn't do concerted exercise, so I did allow my body some rest for that. But I'm loving that I feel so great! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sun, 18 Oct 2015 18:41:00 EST Chili Festival Day! Lovely chilly morning cuddling in bed with Gary and the critters. Had a healthy breakfast and now enjoying some down time. Today I will be helping at the Havelock Chili Festival! Hoping they have some killer white chicken chili. The rest of the weekend will be about rehearsing music, riding my bike and/or walking, maybe swimming some laps and resting! Happy weekend, y'all! Sat, 17 Oct 2015 09:03:27 EST Every Day I'm BETTER!! What an awesome morning thus far! I woke up after a decent night's sleep with no meds, on my own, ready to go. I got some pink jogging pants I had laid out the night before and as I put them on, I realized - hey! These are way looser than they were a month ago when I put them on! In fact, I remember taking them back off because they were uncomfortable. That was the first gift this morning. <BR> <BR> It's still really dark out and the stars are just amazing here. Another gift! <BR> ... Fri, 16 Oct 2015 06:21:32 EST