NARNIAROSE2003's SparkPeople Blog NARNIAROSE2003's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community WTH I just worked out....and I feel so DOWN. That scares the crap out of me. I think (hope) it's the cold weather. I HATE winter.... But I'm going to fake it until I feel it. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Wed, 6 Jan 2016 06:42:47 EST Move Over! I am back on the wagon. :) <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 5 Jan 2016 19:04:05 EST Happy Holidays Indeed! Hello, SP Friends! I have been off the grid due to many exciting events. I haven't done very well with my healthy habits - and I'm not going to waste time making excuses. Today is a new day and that part of me is back on track. Now, to celebrate so many things! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> 1. CHRISTMAS - Started with a quiet Christmas with just me and Gary when he surprised me with... <BR> <BR> <img src... Sun, 27 Dec 2015 10:23:17 EST Still Here! This has been a busy week. Had yesterday off and spent several hours finishing up Christmas shopping, wrapping a ton of presents, and getting ready for our Holiday Open House on Sunday (including cleaning the entire house). The menu is going to include meatballs, pizza rolls, bacon-wrapped cocktail weiners (also known as crack!), chicken wings, sandwiches, white chicken chili, chips, dip, two kinds of cake, chocolate cookies, vanilla cookies, hot cider, wine, soft drinks and water! We have a ... Sat, 12 Dec 2015 12:06:39 EST Family.... sheesh. I love my birth family, but things were not great for me as a child - nor for my brothers. Long story I don't have time to tell now. Caused me to have a CRAPPY day yesterday. Today I was good. I will tell the story when I have time, though, because I think there's some lessons there. Hope you all had a great Monday. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Mon, 7 Dec 2015 20:41:27 EST A Little Help From My Sparkfriends? Whew - it's amazing to me how quickly my moods can quickly I can go from the highest high to the lowest low... maybe that's why my doctor made me fill out an assessment for Bi-Polar Disorder (which I don't have, thank the gods). Last night I was having a great time with my sweetie out to dinner and then in the park for Christmas carols. This morning I woke up and the skies are grey, the weather is foggy... and I'm tired and depressed. No motivation... <BR> <BR> Well, that's... Sun, 6 Dec 2015 09:05:06 EST Loving the Holidays! Went last night to help with the foster family Christmas party. I did the "Name That Holiday Tune" booth and my boyfriend, Gary, helped me. What a fun night! So many things that filled my heart with joy....the faces of the children....the amazing people who open their hearts and home to these children, often only for a season, and change their lives forever....watching my co-workers who put in such long, difficult hours working with families and still have the energy to smile, laugh, and giv... Sat, 5 Dec 2015 12:41:08 EST REALLY Feeling Tired....but it's Friday! Decided that today might be my exercise rest day. I just packed up my gear for the gig tonight and I'm just really feeling tired. I know being tired is a danger zone, though, so I'm packing my food and keeping my mind engaged nonetheless. Looking forward to the weekend and a chance to recharge. I will definitely do walking, but might give the more hardcore stuff a rest. Happy Friday! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Fri, 4 Dec 2015 05:56:34 EST Is It Friday Yet? Starting to feel a little tired, which makes perfect sense when you get up at 5:00 am most mornings and don't get home before 6:00 most nights. Good news is that I'm just NOW starting to feel tired. Used to be Mondays when I was already asking, "Is it Friday yet?" Yay! <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I have a busy workday, then Gary and I are helping at our Foster Parents Holiday Party. I'm doing a "Name That Holiday Tune" booth and Gary is going to be my elf. I am also leading carols. So in the mo... Thu, 3 Dec 2015 20:43:02 EST Sore abs.... OMG - I have abs!! I knew they were in their somewheres! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Wed, 2 Dec 2015 18:02:28 EST November Stats Well, I weighed this morning and the verdict is in.... <BR> <BR> I MUST BE DOING IT RIGHT! I didn't lose any "new" weight, but I did lose that 5 pounds that showed up the last time I cheated and weighed and freaked out. What I did lose was INCHES - 10.5 in total! Three inches from my waist, 1 inch off my hips, 3.5 inches from my thighs, and 3" in my neck. That's pretty cool! I can tell my clothes are looser, I'm feeling stronger and more flexible, I have more stamina. I'M DOING THIS.... Tue, 1 Dec 2015 19:57:45 EST Tomorrow is Weigh Day Except for one slip up (which created an explosion in the universe because it was so bad and shocking) I have waited faithfully to keep my commitment to weigh only once a month on the first of each month. I'm also going to take my measurements. But because the scale can be deceptive (particularly when you start a more intensive workout that builds muscles, like I have), I wanted to consider all the other things I've done this month so that the scale will not cause me to lose heart. During t... Mon, 30 Nov 2015 18:38:14 EST It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas! Enjoyed a very productive but stress-relieving day. Put up some new curtains in my breakfast nook and decorated the table with Christmas placemats and a tree. Decorated the outside of the house with Gary. Did all the laundry. Finished my Christmas cards. Paid bills. Practiced some solo stuff - going to do a "side" gig at the local restaurant soon. Put up three pop lights. Did some paperwork to get a jump on the week at the office. Made tea and boiled eggs. Going to pack my breakfast,... Sun, 29 Nov 2015 18:51:49 EST It Always Works! Lots of triggers for me this month. Struggling daily with some kind of underlying sadness. But the minute I get off my duff and do some exercise - it's gone! Went for a 45 minute walk with my boyfriend (so happy he did it with me!), then gained more energy to get all the Christmas stuff out, get the tree up and decorated, too! Tonight we're going out to see a friend's band and scope out another band that's our biggest competition. So I'll be dancing a lot later! Going to get the outside ... Sat, 28 Nov 2015 16:12:00 EST SparkCoach Task: 5 Great Reasons To Workout 1. To get more energy <BR> 2. To reach my goals <BR> 3. To fight depression <BR> 4. To fight anxiety <BR> 5. To sleep better <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Fri, 27 Nov 2015 19:27:48 EST 7-Day Goal for SparkCoach This week I WILL track at least 45 minutes of fitness daily. Thu, 26 Nov 2015 18:06:34 EST Happy Thanksgiving! I am with my oldest son and daughter-in-law in Columbia, SC. He is a Drill Sgt at Ft. Jackson and she is 8 months pregnant with my Granddaughter who shall be named Maeva Elaine. Bless his heart, he just got a load of privates so didn't get home until 5:00 am. He doesn't have to be back until 5:00 am tomorrow so at least I get to see him today. He said he has to feed his privates Thanksgiving dinner. Then they do PT until they all throw up. I guess I should be saying "bless THEIR hearts." Mean... Thu, 26 Nov 2015 08:19:23 EST Ugh Bad day. Not going to dwell. Tomorrow is another day. I GOT THIS. No...Really. Tue, 24 Nov 2015 21:47:53 EST SparkCoach Assignment In one word how do I feel today? CONTROLLED Mon, 23 Nov 2015 14:35:25 EST Anniversary Dates? Not sure what's up, but last night and today, I suddenly got EXTREMELY emotional and irritable. My poor boyfriend was like, "What is up with you?" Still not sure, but I think it might be anniversary dates. Those are "triggers" that cause feelings to come up from past experiences and you may not even know what they were. For example, kids who have been abused and neglected might suddenly exhibit challenging behaviors when something "triggers" a memory. (If they entered foster care in the ... Sun, 22 Nov 2015 20:08:01 EST Wow - Clarity is SUCH an Amazing Thing I haven't missed a day of exercise in....well, weeks. Yesterday was the first time in awhile that I didn't start the day with exercise. I was just sitting here feeling very anxious and a little emotional - for no particular reason. <BR> <BR> Well, DUH. There is a reason - NO EXERCISE. I haven't felt hardly any anxiety, depression, and my energy has been through the roof. THAT'S the benefit of daily, morning exercise for ME. Plus I ate part of a cheesecake yesterday. Don't get me wrong, ... Sat, 21 Nov 2015 10:04:31 EST Friday Exhausted. Was able to work only 8 hours so that was nice. Had dinner out with my love. Have a gig tomorrow. First day I can remember in a long time that I didn't exercise, but I'm so tired. Chilling now and going to get a good night's sleep. Have a great weekend! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Fri, 20 Nov 2015 19:25:22 EST Late Afternoon STRESSIES Not going to call it MUNCHIES because I'm making sure I'm not hungry. Days like the last two are a struggle just about 3:30 because I'm on the run CONSTANTLY, on the phone CONSTANTLY, in the car doing home visits CONSTANTLY, and stressing because my documentation is behind, did I check on this?, did I check on that?, etc., etc. <BR> <BR> TODAY I WILL BE THE MASTER OF MY STRESS. I will not let it get the best of me. I have worked too hard and I'm continuing to work hard. Today I will ta... Thu, 19 Nov 2015 05:53:14 EST Ditto What I said yesterday.. But more. I GOT THIS. Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:06:33 EST A Day in the Life.... ...of a social worker. In one day - child sexual abuse, domestic violence, animal cruelty, extreme filth, emotional abuse, suicide, inappropriate discipline, drug-exposed infant, and homelessness. No wonder I'm fried..... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 17 Nov 2015 20:12:33 EST Almost Level 18! Just need a little over 70 points! That's pretty cool. It's a real motivator for me. I love getting the team digests on Sundays. Of the 5 teams I'm in, I'm almost always in the top five for both spark points AND fitness minutes! Plus I really make sure I EARN those Sparkpoints. It would be easy to just click on those Sparkpoints and lie - but why would you do that? It's for YOU. And if you really do the Sparkpoints daily, it requires that you track everything, read and educate yourself... Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:25:47 EST Holiday Cards! I love the tradition of sending and receiving holiday cards. If you want to be included in the fun, please send me a sparkmail with your address so I can send you some holiday cheer! I am so grateful for you all and consider you part of the family of my heart. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Sun, 15 Nov 2015 18:06:23 EST Sunday Update Great gig last night! Got home and in bed around 3:00 am. Up at 8:35. Still tired, but trying to get motivated. Going to unpack my gear and get my room set back up in a bit, do a little exercise, then do some other work, then chill. Restful Sunday to you all. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. <BR> Sun, 15 Nov 2015 12:40:57 EST I Cheated.... ...but not on food. I cheated by looking at that darned scale! Sheesh. I had made a commitment to only weigh once a month so I'm not so fixated on the numbers but on the results. Well, I got on it thinking...1 pound? 2? Oooh, what if it's 3? And then.... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> A FOUR POUND GAIN. What the hell? How can that POSSIBLY be right? I've exercised every morning, eaten right, been on SP... Sat, 14 Nov 2015 11:04:15 EST Loopy Post Ahead Took drugs, had dental work done, no panic attacks. Yay. Still loopy though and tired. "Sleeping it off" so I can get back to work tomorrow. <BR> <BR> In other news, my boyfriend bought me the Shure 58 mic and new boom stand I wanted. I iz spoiled. Yay. <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Thu, 12 Nov 2015 17:28:42 EST Thank You Veterans! My son is a Drill Sergeant in the US Army and I'm so proud of him. Thank you to all of our military and our Veterans. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Wed, 11 Nov 2015 07:53:15 EST A Special Anniversary - 35 Years of Living Life I saw the date on my computer - November 10th - and realized that today is my anniversary. 35 years ago on November 10th, 1980, I was a troubled 18 year old college Freshman, who was so tired of the pain of my life, that I tried to end it. I actually tried for 3 days in a row, taking all kinds of pills and leaving a detailed letter about how sorry I was for being the awful person that I was, and each day - I woke up, with no effects at all. On this day 35 years ago, I took a bottle of slee... Tue, 10 Nov 2015 19:56:26 EST Terrific Tuesday Poor Tuesday. Kind of gets a bum rap - too soon in the week for anyone to get all excited about it. BUT! Today Tuesday gets to be a FRIDAY! Go Tuesday! We have tomorrow off for Veteran's Day. I'm going to work late tonight to get some paperwork caught up, then enjoy tomorrow off. Then....the dreaded Thursday will be here and I go back to try the dentist again.... BUT TODAY IS TUESDAY AS A FRIDAY! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 10 Nov 2015 05:50:01 EST Manic Monday So much for "I think I'll stay in the office today and catch up on paperwork on this rainy day." Ended up with a new sexual abuse case and hit the ground running, then taught the Monday night children's group for a total of 12 hours with no break. Home now. Ate well, exercised first thing this morning so always assured of getting in my fitness. Tomorrow will probably be another 12 hour day but at least I get Wednesday off. Happy Monday everyone! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Mon, 9 Nov 2015 20:38:55 EST Crazy NC Weather It was almost 80 on Friday and so humid you could wash a donkey's butt. Yesterday it was beautiful. Today is overcast, rainy and in the '50's. LOL - welcome North Cackalacky! I'm in my pajama's and my boyfriend's wooly socks with my hair in pig tails. Going to cook a healthy omelette in a few. Going to get my gear back in the Diva room in a little while, practice a bit today, workout and cook some dinner. Have a great Sunday! Sun, 8 Nov 2015 09:07:18 EST "Being Numb No Longer Suits Me" I was reading my new People magazine (don't judge me - lol) and there's an article about Shonda Rhimes. She is the producer of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal. She also has lost over 100 pounds and is quite inspirational. A quote from her just really struck me: "Food makes you feel better. It numbs you. The thing is? Being numb no longer suits me." Wow - that is totally it! Once you finally throw off that blanket - that heavy, heavy blanket - of despair and depression, of mindless binging... Sat, 7 Nov 2015 21:21:29 EST Feeling Empowered Every time I feel like I may not be making progress, I remember where I once was. I couldn't walk without pain. I binged ate carbs several times a day. I only bought clothes because I found something that fit, not because it was what I wanted. I was depressed. I isolated. I was miserable. NOW I have healthy HABITS. I enjoy eating well. I enjoy exercise. I LIVE LIFE! Fri, 6 Nov 2015 11:19:25 EST Court Today and Rockin' Tonight! Have to testify this morning, then have a new case to initiate. Got a gig tonight! Happy Friday! Fri, 6 Nov 2015 08:50:33 EST So In Love Had a totally blah day yesterday, but having my habits in place carried me through. MANY TIMES there was that voice trying to get me to lapse into old "comfort" habits, but the stronger voice was the one saying, "Don't do it! You'll feel like crap and this mood stuff will get worse!" Very cool to see that happening. Then when I got home, my Gary had bought me flowers to cheer me up. I love him so much. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Thu, 5 Nov 2015 07:21:58 EST Feeling the Effects of the Rain Got up this morning to workout as is now my habit (YAY *Kermit arms*) - but my energy wasn't there. I did my workouts and I do feel better, but I can feel that "mood" thing just under the surface. Not sure if it's hormones, the weather (I HATE RAIN) or what; but it bears acknowledging. Probably should call this the danger zone - because on most days like this, the old me would TOTALLY lapse into "comfort" eating and then feel like crap and get more depressed and binge - rinse and repeat. ... Wed, 4 Nov 2015 05:53:55 EST Office Day Thankful to have had an almost full day in the office. The life of a social worker is a mixture of VERY important constant contacts to assure that children are safe coupled with VERY important documentation of efforts made to assure that safety. Lots of phone calls, medical/mental health/educational records reviews, and constant assessment of risk. Quite exhausting - but I love it. However, I hate the stress of having my documentation getting behind, so it was nice to have this time today... Tue, 3 Nov 2015 20:30:45 EST WEIGHT a Minute! Or how about a month? I read a really good article that came up on my Start page this morning about not obsessing about the scale. I lost a pound this morning and that was all good, but like the article pointed out - there is SO MUCH MORE to use to measure progress. Things like body measurements, stamina and energy levels, mood, sleep quality, flexibility, the way my clothes fit, etc. I'm sure there are other things you can't measure - like how the healthy nutrients I'm consuming (instead... Mon, 2 Nov 2015 07:39:43 EST Resting Today - No, REALLY So this weekend was so great. Playing two gigs is quite a bit, but I am still thrilled at my stamina and the obvious benefits I'm feeling from getting back in shape. We got a few pics (bad phone camera on some) but thought I'd share. Hope you all have a restful day! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=... Sun, 1 Nov 2015 13:08:10 EST HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Last night was the BOMB! Two things struck me - how NOT tired I was after playing three sets until almost 2:00 am AND the number of guys that hit on me. Of course, everyone wants to meet the band, guys were drinking, etc. - but I don't care! It's fun to feel attractive. Of course, I was quick to point out that I was with the handsome pirate sitting across the room smiling at me while I "networked" the crowd. No one makes me feel like he does - and that's pretty awesome, too! Doing it al... Sat, 31 Oct 2015 14:00:47 EST Forever Young ZEN PIRATES WILL ROCK HALLOWEEN! My band is playing tonight from 9:00 PM - 2:00 AM and then doing it all again at another place tomorrow night! I'm going as a....Pirate! Will post some pics and maybe video if someone takes video. I totally don't have to worry about fitness minutes on days like this. I burn almost 2,000 calories between loading and unloading and then playing and dancing for 4 hours. Can't wait! By Sunday, I will totally remember I'm 53....but until then I will be FOREVE... Fri, 30 Oct 2015 05:39:25 EST Everybody's Working for the Weekend! It's late and I better get my butt in bed. Worked 12 hours today. Got a full day tomorrow, then gigs both Friday and Saturday nights with Zen Pirates. Rock on everyone! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Thu, 29 Oct 2015 21:08:23 EST Hit Me With Your Best Shot Well, they tried.... <BR> <BR> They hit me with the gas, let Gary come back with me to talk me through it....but it didn't work. I HAD to sit up and get the nose thing off me. I couldn't do it. I felt the panic attack coming on and that is what terrified me. The dentist and his staff were so sweet. I started crying because I felt so stupid, but they said, "It happens all the time. Don't worry about it. Why put yourself through all that fear and anxiety if you don't have to?" <BR> <B... Wed, 28 Oct 2015 18:20:25 EST Hurts So Good Today I have to go to the dentist. I put "Hurts So Good" because I know how important dental care is to your overall health. (Plus the Zen Pirates cover that song!) I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST. It's not the pain that bothers me, it's having someone all up in my mouth. It freaks me out because I'm claustrophobic. Plus I panic when they deaden my mouth and it gets anywhere near my throat because I think I can't breathe. I do the happy pills usually and do fine, but ever since that recent... Wed, 28 Oct 2015 07:24:42 EST Feelings.....Nothing More Than Feelings So I thought I'd stick with the song theme! And don't worry - this won't be an emotional "feelings" blog. It's about FEELING - like with your hand! The quick story? I just finished a workout and reached down to scratch my calf - and I thought, "Hey, that feels SKINNY." LOL. Certainly skinny in my world has its own meaning - but woo hoo! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Tue, 27 Oct 2015 05:56:58 EST Just Another Manic Monday Hey - that would make a cool song.... Anywho, today will be crazy busy. Started great with yoga, just did a cardio break, packed all my food for the day. Let's rock! <BR> <BR> I GOT THIS. Mon, 26 Oct 2015 10:33:29 EST