MYMIRACLE30's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MYMIRACLE30 MYMIRACLE30's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Wake Up Call http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5409701 Well, I got a wake up call Monday night. I'd been blogging about motivation and how exercising was making me hurt so badly, and then I went to have some supper and began to experience intense abdominal pain. The pain got worse (to the agonizing point) and my best friend rushed me to Methodist Hospital. Tests were run and my liver enzymes were elevated, resulting in me being kept overnight for observation. <BR> <BR> I'm terrified of needles, and between being poked four times and all of the ... Wed, 3 Jul 2013 13:48:46 EST Aches and Pains http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5407725 Everything hurts. My back is a particular source of pain, and this is the first that I'm beginning to realize the effect that my breast size might have on my back. I choose not to wear a bra unless I'm in public in order to support my own breast health, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm sacrificing for other areas of my health when I choose not to wear the bra. The alternative, of course, is to build up the muscles of my shoulders and back to make carriage easier. But it's so HARD. <BR> <B... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 17:51:16 EST Busy Days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5402468 Yesterday was busy, and illustrated to me just how badly out of shape I am. I am determined to take this as slow as necessary, and if it means gaining health the way same way I did when I gave up cigarettes (cutting back a little bit at a time before changing major habits in ones and twos) then that's the way that I'm going to go about doing it. <BR> <BR> For example, I hate Walmart. There are a number of reasons that I hate Walmart, but I swear that our local store cleans with something I'm... Wed, 26 Jun 2013 13:14:49 EST Exercise http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5400689 Did some new exercises today. Harder than I was able to handle for right now. Tell you what, that's something else. Sheesh! Just shows me where I need to keep working! Mon, 24 Jun 2013 22:01:46 EST So Many Questions... So Few Answers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5399639 Today has been an odd day. For months the Internet has been blipping on and off here at home, and we were able to finally prove that it was the botched DirecTV installation that caused the problems, so that's good. <BR> <BR> On the other side of things, I feel totally lost. Any time I mention that I want to lose weight, everybody has advice. <BR> <BR> I'm intelligent enough to know that there is only one way to lose weight: burn more calories than you take in. It's really that simple. So r... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 22:59:23 EST Adoptee Shame http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5398384 I've been aching to write this all day long. I'm terrified, in a way, of letting this all go, and of putting it all on the line. I know that this is going to be difficult for me to write, but I hope that I might, in writing it, be able to reach out to others experiencing similar feelings. <BR> <BR> This is going to be long, but I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read through something this emotional. <BR> <BR> I am adopted. I was adopted when I was six weeks old, and my adoptive p... Sat, 22 Jun 2013 15:23:21 EST Angry With Myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5397351 Alright, so I've made a serious decision for myself, and I want to share it with you. Sharing helps me to have some accountability, and that's important if I'm going to make it through the 200 or so pounds I want to lose at this point in my life. <BR> <BR> So here goes. <BR> <BR> I'm angry with myself. I'm angry because when I look in the mirror, I don't see a pretty person. I'm angry because I'm not taking care of myself the way that I should. I'm angry because my house is messy, my body'... Fri, 21 Jun 2013 12:28:26 EST The Body in the Mirror http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4343733 I've lost six pounds so far. Since I've only been doing this for two weeks, I'd say that's pretty good progress overall. I'm proud of myself for the effort that I've been making, and even happier to see weight coming off on the scales. I haven't been taking physical measurements yet because I didn't have the tape measure to do it. I'll be starting that next week, and I'm really excited about it! <BR> <BR> But I noticed something strange today. Whenever I catch a glimpse of my full-length ref... Tue, 5 Jul 2011 23:12:48 EST No Little Girl Dreams of Growing up to be Fat and Lazy... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4341268 The strangest things can spark profound thoughts, you know? Tonight I was watching the video of "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins. I do this frequently because he's... Well, he's very nice to look at and I'm attracted to redneck men. But don't tell my husband that. He seems to ache for the city life even though he's more suited to the country. <BR> <BR> ANYWAY there's a line in the song that says "By then I'll be strong as Superman" and I was thinking... Isn't that what all little kids dream o... Mon, 4 Jul 2011 21:23:13 EST Well, Now That was a Surprise http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4339444 Still really forcing the daily blogging. I feel like all I've done all day is write! Anyway, that's not the point. <BR> <BR> I stepped on the scale a day early, and at night, which isn't my style. The scale is showing me a 1 lb weight loss on a rough week, in the evening on a salty day. I'm looking forward to Monday morning this week! Sun, 3 Jul 2011 20:59:29 EST Smaller Portions... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4337836 I'm not much in the mood to try to blog today. It's been a really rough school week, I have a couple of teams I still need to introduce myself to, and honestly, I'm mentally worn out at the moment. There's been too much going on. <BR> <BR> One thing that I thought was noteworthy is that it's really hard for me not to cheat on the weekends. My husband is off work and we have some bad habits that we're both trying to break. Some things are very much an uphill battle. It's going to take time to... Sat, 2 Jul 2011 20:53:43 EST Discovered my Vocation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4336121 I'm tired. It's been a long week. I went on Wednesday to purchase my first firearm (a Walther PK 380) and my husband has been working opening shifts, which means that he's around a lot more, resulting in me being a lot more on the go. I feel great, for the most part, but him not being around really does mean that I wind up eating less healthfully than I would like. I'm trying to fill in nutritional gaps so that even if I don't lose weight, at least I'm getting good food into my system *as wel... Fri, 1 Jul 2011 21:09:30 EST 175 Reasons Why I Want to Lose Weight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4333936 I want to lose 175 lbs. I was thinking about it last night, and I decided that I wanted to write down one reason to lose weight for each pound that I have to lose. It really brings it home how important each individual pound is, and the fact that each pound is progress, even on the weeks where I only lose one or two pounds. That one or two pounds is still a big deal! It's one step closer to my dreams! <BR> <BR> With that, here's my list of reasons why I want to lose weight. There's one per p... Thu, 30 Jun 2011 21:45:42 EST Daily Walks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4330821 Well, they're getting easier, and I guess that's a start. I made it almost twice as far today before I started to sweat. It's not a hot day, so that's cardio sweat. My legs are always screaming by the time I get home, and I'm only doing half a block. It used to be I could hardly do the grocery shopping without serious pain, so this is definitely an improvement. <BR> <BR> Right now my plan is to increase a little bit every week and not to increase until a new week, even if I feel ready. I don... Wed, 29 Jun 2011 14:07:44 EST Emotions Take the Back Seat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4329043 I was feeling so good earlier today. Yesterday went really well in terms of exercise (not so much in terms of nutrition) and I was geared up for a good day today. I was totally ready to go, and started the day with another short walk. I was geared up to get my school work done and then do some more cardio before rewarding myself with some reading time. Overall the diet and exercise along with some supplements have left me feeling so incredibly good about myself that I thought the feeling coul... Tue, 28 Jun 2011 19:31:14 EST Heading into a Great Second Week! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4326483 First of all, I lost 2 lbs last week, which is way more than I thought I'd lose considering that I did almost no exercise and I didn't really try. I'm embarrassed about that, but all I can do is move forward and try harder this week. <BR> <BR> So far the day has been terrific. I slacked off yesterday because I was coming off of the weekend and being lazy, I suppose. As I'm sure some of you know, I keep a seventh-day sabbath, which means that Sunday starts my week. All of my accounting is do... Mon, 27 Jun 2011 17:36:41 EST I Need to Lose my Husband's Best Friend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4324690 Yesterday my husband and I were talking about the weight that I have to lose, and how much of it there is. He's also trying to lose some weight, and we wound up saying that the amount of weight that I have to lose is the equivalent of his best friend. <BR> <BR> Thinking about it, I had to consider the fact that there is no way on earth that I could lift the man in question. I simply do not have the strength. And yet I daily carry around so much extra weight that it's like I'm hauling around... Sun, 26 Jun 2011 23:05:02 EST Facial Exercises http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4322565 One more thing to be embarrassed about. I think that I'm just putting all the embarrassing things out there in one go so that I don't have to worry about them in the future. But I'm sure that there will be more embarrassments as times goes on. So I'll just keep on chugging along at this. <BR> <BR> Several months ago, I tried some facial exercises. The results were phenomenal, for what it's worth. My face looked slimmer and I nearly lost my double chin. I hadn't expected such great results fr... Sat, 25 Jun 2011 20:34:35 EST Knitting as Motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4320842 I am a knitter. There's very little that is more relaxing to me than sitting down with a project, and I'm especially fond of knitting socks. I like the small, quick projects and I love that I had a bit of difficulty mastering the art of knitting a sock. It's not a beginner project (at least not for most beginners) and I enjoy mastering new knitting skills. Socks are always unique, always give me something new and fun, and I enjoy them because it's a project that I generally finish. My goal at... Fri, 24 Jun 2011 20:34:02 EST Daring to Dream http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4318614 Okay, folks. This is the hard part for me. I think that I could deal with the weight loss on its own if it didn't obligate me to start working on achieving some of my dreams. But I also realize that dreaming and goal setting is part of motivation, and it's important that I realize that my weight is just an excuse for why I have not done those things that I really want to do. <BR> <BR> Saying this in public is especially difficult, because I fear that some people are going to laugh at me. I'm... Thu, 23 Jun 2011 19:33:09 EST It's All About Habits http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4316144 I'm not a dumb woman. I know that the things that I want out of my life only come through the creation of newer, healthier habits. There isn't a single dream or goal that I have in mind that can't be met by exchanging the habits that I have for better, healthier ones. <BR> <BR> Some of those habits include things that I'm doing. For example: <BR> <BR> Drinking more water. <BR> Exercising more. <BR> Adding more raw food into my diet. <BR> Adding more fish into my diet. <BR> <BR> Some inclu... Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:56:17 EST I Will Never Again be as Heavy as I am Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4314466 When I weighed in yesterday, I was at the heaviest that I've ever been. <BR> <BR> For a while I've been afraid of weighing myself, scared that the scale would tell me that I've gone over 300 pounds. But I've also been terrified to do anything about it. So instead of trying to lose, I've focused only on "not gaining." That hasn't been really working out for me all that well, to be honest with you. I've gained slowly, but steadily, and it's time to really put a stop to this. <BR> <BR> It's ... Tue, 21 Jun 2011 23:23:55 EST