MYANTEK8's SparkPeople Blog MYANTEK8's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Week 40 - Ugh! I had no motivation last week and gained nearly a pound. The one is related to the other. I was doing so well. I'd nearly broken through this plateau, a lot of the exercise things I was doing had become routine and healthy eating a habit. All things that will help me keep the weight off if I ever actually lose it. <BR> <BR> "If" I lose it is becoming a thought again. It was "when" I lose it but I'm not sure I was just destined to drop 20lbs and then be stuck forever. As the weeks go ... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 10:40:58 EST Week 39 - Finding Motivation I'm having such a hard time getting going this week. I keep telling myself today is the day I get back on track... and then I don't. I'm at least saying "today" and not "next week". That's something. <BR> <BR> So... today's Wednesday. I will get motivated. I will do this. I can't afford not to. Wed, 3 Feb 2016 10:46:57 EST Week 38: Well, That Didn't Work I was supposed to add more activity back into my schedule this week. I didn't. Circumstances at the beginning of the week threw me off-kilter and I never really righted myself. <BR> <BR> This week I'm going to try cascading goals. There's one thing I absolutely want to accomplish (tracking) every day this week. Each morning I'm going to give myself a list of things I want to accomplish that day. Tracking, water, 12,000 steps, two dog walks and then maybe one or two exercise goals. The ... Sun, 24 Jan 2016 15:45:45 EST Week 37 - Need to Add More Activity More like I need to add back in the activities I was doing before I got hurt and started my long plateau. I've been using injury, busy weekends and early mornings as excuses (somewhat legitimately) but I really need to get back on track. Mon, 18 Jan 2016 10:55:37 EST I Almost Beat the Bus Yesterday I had to take the bus home from work because my youngest son was at hockey practice. It's normally a two bus trip: from work to downtown, from downtown to home. If I'm lucky the second bus is the one that drops me right at my intersection, otherwise I have to walk about 6 blocks at the end. Yesterday I was not lucky. <BR> <BR> At the bottom of the hill I had two choices. I could wait in the bus shelter for 10 minutes for a third bus that would take me out and around to the in... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 10:58:55 EST Week 36 - I Can Do This! Last week should have gone so well for me. I made my steps goals every day but one. I made all my exercise goals. I stumbled a little with food, a couple of days were near the top of my range and one day was over, but it didn't show on the scale. The scale moved up. I hate weeks like this. <BR> <BR> I know the scale is just a number and there's lots of reasons why I would gain weight this week when I was almost perfect. My scale measures body fat percentage and that went down so that's... Sun, 10 Jan 2016 10:57:31 EST Week 35 - No Making Resolutions I don't really make New Year's Resolutions. I'm tired of making the same one and failing every time. This week however, I think I may have made one. I'm rededicating myself to weight loss and healthy living. I was doing really well and then I stopped being as vigilant. What I've learned is that I do need to be vigilant. I'm not going to try to be perfect. That's a whole other problem but be more vigilant. Track. Drink water. Exercise. <BR> <BR> I joined a couple of challenges to he... Sun, 3 Jan 2016 15:57:41 EST Week 34 - I Really Want My Routine Back Hockey games, birthday parties, illness and Star Wars. My week is already full and I don't even have my exercise times planned out. <BR> <BR> Tonight we're going to see the local WHL team with my younger son's team as a team building exercise. It'll be fun, but I won't get to do my run. <BR> <BR> Wednesday is his 10th birthday so we're off to a local Italian restaurant to celebrate with his grandmother. Again, fun, but I lose another slot. <BR> <BR> Thursday we have tickets to see Star ... Mon, 28 Dec 2015 10:44:57 EST Week 33 - Just Is I set a pretty simple goal for myself last week - just track everything. I didn't manage to do it. I don't want to think of this as a failure - even though it sort of feels like one. I got busy. I was mindful of what I was eating and that's the point of tracking but I should have been able to keep on top of something so simple. <BR> <BR> So... put that behind me and look forward. The next two weeks are going to be a struggle anyway. Family dinners, three day weekends, customers droppin... Sun, 20 Dec 2015 10:46:19 EST Week 32 - Making It Simple I have one goal this week... Track everything! <BR> <BR> I've been circling around the same 2lbs for too long now. I've fallen into the trap that if I'm not perfect I don't want to worry about it at all. I've set myself to try to do too many things each day, or even each week, and I'm just not able to maintain that schedule right now. So, just track everything. That's it. I know what I want to accomplish each day, but, until I feel like I'm back on track, all I need to do to be "perfec... Sun, 13 Dec 2015 11:00:28 EST Week 31 - I Think I'm Just Going to Focus on Getting Through It So I hit a wall this week. I just wanted to curl up and hide from the world. Not worry about counting calories. Not worry about exercise. Just hide. I kinda did. I know I shouldn't have and I know it won't help my goals but man... this was a week. And it's only going to get worse. <BR> <BR> The boys have all these school and activity things that are coming due right now. Bake sales, concerts, hockey tournaments. My calendar is so full. Saturday I spent all day on the road just gett... Mon, 7 Dec 2015 10:45:15 EST Week 30 - Pretty Good; Now Build on It I was pretty happy with this past week. I got off my butt and actually got back to some of the activities that I been dodging prior to being injured. I slacked off near the end of the week so that's what I'm going to work on this week. <BR> <BR> It showed up on the scale too which is always a motivator. I had been steadily losing a pound a week but I've been stuck for a while, I still have to have a couple of weeks like the last one to get back to my 1lbs/week average but I'm aiming at 2... Sun, 29 Nov 2015 12:32:30 EST Week 29 - Confidence Compromised This has been a not very good week. My confidence is shot. I was doing so well and this week hit and I felt like I can't do anything right. I know this happens from time to time. I've been through it before but I want to get back on track. I was losing 1 lbs/week pretty consistently. Right now I've not only stopped losing I've even gain a bit. <BR> <BR> Enough whining. Look forward to the week and make a commitment to do better. Sun, 22 Nov 2015 15:42:40 EST Week 28 - Lost a Whole Austin <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is my puppy, Austin. We got him a little over a year ago and he's really what started this journey for me. I'm an early riser so I agreed to do the early morning dog walk. And those first few were a lot harder than I expected. It really highlighted how out of shape I was to have this little dog dragging me around the block. <BR> <BR> Then, about 8 months ago, when he grew from pu... Sun, 15 Nov 2015 11:58:46 EST Week 27 - So a Day's Only 24 Hours, Right? 'Cause I could use a few more. Between work, kids and trying to exercise I don't have enough time to do something fun. I need to be able to do something fun. I think that's why the last few weeks have been so tough. <BR> <BR> At work we've got 2 people doing the work of 3 so there's always something that just can't get finished. We're both pulling in some some overtime too. There's just not enough time. That leads to stress. I hate leaving things undone. <BR> <BR> Stress means I wa... Sun, 8 Nov 2015 10:48:16 EST Week 26 - Better Late Then Never I try to blog on Sundays. It's a routine. If I don't do it on Sundays then there's a real tendency to not do it at all. So here it is Monday and I'm trying to organize some thoughts. <BR> <BR> I still haven't gotten back on track. It could certainly be going worse for me but I'd like it to be going better. Today is so far so good. I just have to muster up the energy to go running tonight and I will have accomplished what I set out to do today. <BR> <BR> The best thing this week happen... Mon, 2 Nov 2015 22:07:23 EST Week 25 - Trying to Think of Something Positive My last few blogs have just been so negative. I've been using this space as a place to vent. I'd like to be more positive, but I'm not feeling it. I was in a plateau, I seem to have broken that but we'll see how it goes. I think I can get back on track with food and exercise; that's been a bit of a challenge these last few weeks. These are both good things. Why can't I focus on them? <BR> <BR> I bought myself a Supergirl T-shirt to wear to work for Hallowe'en. They treat me like I can... Sun, 25 Oct 2015 10:44:23 EST Week 24 - Stuck. Again. I hate getting stuck. I know I'm not doing all the right things now. But I don't like feeling like I have to do all the right things to make any progress. Being able to make mistakes is important. I know I can't be perfect. I'm aiming for good enough but I'm not even getting there right now. <BR> <BR> Realistically, I know part of the problem is stress. Work is one big stress ball right now. With conflicting notes from management. I had a complaint leveled against me on the store's Fa... Sun, 18 Oct 2015 10:57:15 EST Week 23- I Can Do It I can do it. I just have to keep telling myself that. I've lost 20lbs. That's amazing! I have to just keep going. It's so tempting to fall back on old habits. The excuses are so easy. <BR> <BR> My leg is still healing. Walking is hard enough; running is out of the question. I'm trying to be patient but I worry if I don't start again soon I'll never start again. <BR> <BR> Work is stress. A co-worker quit and then got a doctor's note to say she didn't have to work her last week. ... Sun, 11 Oct 2015 12:16:44 EST Week 22 - It Was Going So Well... I suffered a running injury this week. I was just running along, Listening to Runner 10's observations on zombie behaviour when something in my right calf went 'pop'. Ouch. I tried to walk it off. It was not walk offable. I had to call my husband to come rescue me. <BR> <BR> Luckily, work this week was on the side where I don't have to run back and forth to meet customer needs. I can pretty much stand in one spot. My pharmacist for the day immediately asked what I'd done to myself when... Sun, 4 Oct 2015 15:17:15 EST Week 21 - Maintaining a Positive Outlook I'm trying to look on the bright side this week. Last week was a bit of a failure. I let outside factors affect my weight loss journey. Stress and exhaustion and someone else letting me down let me make the poor choices I've been trying to avoid. That's the thing that I'm trying to learn not to do. <BR> <BR> This week I plan to make better choices. Starting today. I'll track the whole day. I'm not having fast food for lunch (although I may treat the kids) and I will exercise and make ... Sun, 27 Sep 2015 10:43:50 EST Week 20 - Getting There See that profile image up there <em>49</em> . That's 20lbs in 20 weeks. It's not my goal. I wanted to lose 2lbs a week but at least it's consistent losses. It's also a fifth of the weight I need to lose. I've started and stopped so many times. This time feels different. This time feels like I'm making changes that can stick. Changes that will see me reach a healthy weight. So it's not as fast as I was hoping it would be. Big deal. The more important thing is that it's happening.... Sun, 20 Sep 2015 10:54:55 EST Week 19 - It Has Begun Hockey season that is. And school and music and... <BR> <BR> I had a nice routine. Now I'll have to work to stay on it. My youngest has a couple of 5:30am practices and that throws the day out of whack. Adding in games and music lessons on Saturdays and it's going to be a challenge to maintain my workout schedule. Sun, 13 Sep 2015 15:34:19 EST Week 18 - Broke the Streak I'm a little disappointed in myself. I broke my streak. I had 8 glasses of water 126 days in a row, usually more, and then on Friday I only had 7. I fell asleep on the couch and had to drag myself up to walk the dog. I'd been planning to have the last glass after that walk. Instead, off to bed I went. *sigh* <BR> <BR> On the positives I challenged myself to start a couch to 5K program this week and I did it. I went out after work. Exercising at the end of the day has always been a pr... Sun, 6 Sep 2015 10:35:53 EST Zombies, Run! Week 1 Introduction It's a good thing that zombies shamble. Otherwise, I'm dessert. <BR> <BR> First, things first. I'm proud of myself for lacing up my sneakers and getting out there today. Work was really busy. I was running nearly the whole day. I left with things undone. I had to take the bus home because my youngest son had hockey practice too late for me to be picked up. That means I had a longish walk ahead of me right after standing all day. I had to make dinner once I got home so everything was ... Mon, 31 Aug 2015 23:39:06 EST Week 17 It was a short visit to Wonderland. I don't know what I did to gain 2lbs this week but that's what happened. I think it was stress but it happened and all I can do is keep moving forward. This week I start running. Scared and excited at the same time. <BR> <BR> I'm doing a couch to 5K from the Zombies, Run! app. It looks like fun. Sun, 30 Aug 2015 12:01:47 EST Week 16 - Onderland! I did it! <BR> <BR> 199.2lbs. So happy to be out of the 200s. That's the point where I always feel terrible about my weight and my body. <BR> <BR> I still need to work at it though. I didn't meet all of my goals this week and I still have over 80lbs to lose to no longer be obese but I feel like I'm making progress. Sun, 23 Aug 2015 11:20:28 EST Week 15 - Need to Maker Better Choices So last week I was frustrated because I've been in a plateau. That led me to make some poor food choices and didn't motivate myself to exercise as much as I should have. The result is exactly what I expected. I need to make better choices this week. It may not show up on the scale but I've got to make the effort. Sun, 16 Aug 2015 12:06:19 EST Week 14 - Stuck I'm stuck. I know plateaus happen. I'm looking for non-scale victories. I feel fitter. I'm walking better. I don't hurt as much at the end of the day but my goal line is rapidly disappearing. <BR> <BR> If I were meeting my goals I would be 190lbs today. I'm 10lbs higher than that. I want to start running at the beginning of September. I was really hoping to be under 200lbs when I started that. I don't know if that's going to happen. I feel like I'm making the right food choices mos... Sun, 9 Aug 2015 10:38:53 EST Week 13 - Disappointing Shopping Trip Why do sports bras have under wire? It seems like it would be incredibly uncomfortable. I don't need my bosom shaped while I exercise I want it contained so it doesn't hurt. <BR> <BR> I went to the plus size active store yesterday because I needed a new sports bra. The one I have is too small and really, really old. There were no plus size specialty stores when I bought it. I thought it would be easy. I looked online and the store had a whole line of sports bras. I saw a bunch with re... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 10:55:37 EST Week 12 - Getting Back to Routine Getting back from vacation is almost as hard as being on vacation. I didn't meet my exercise goals this week. Just couldn't get back in the habit. I use the excuse that my work schedule was different (I lost a half hour in the morning where I do yoga three times this week) and that I really needed to make that phone call (I did) but I should have been able to motivate myself to work out in the half hour that I gained in the evening. <BR> <BR> Oh well, still lost 0.5lbs. This will be a ne... Sun, 26 Jul 2015 10:50:30 EST Week 11 - Best Laid Plans... Back from vacation. I had planned to exercise in the gym at the hotel. I even brought some workout clothes. Even brought my swim suit to use the pool. Did not do either. I thought that I'd get enough steps just being a tourist. That worked most days but because we took the subway and such there were days that were a lot more sedentary than they felt like. <BR> <BR> All in all though, I only gained 0.6lbs. I'm taking that as a win. I thought it was going to be much worse. Getting to ... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 10:31:22 EST Week 10 - On Vacation I don't have a weigh in this week because I'm no where near my scale. That's a little hard. I've been tracking but I'd like to have confirmation that I'm doing OK. I had planned to walk the treadmill in the hotel gym but that's not happening. I am walking lots. And lots and LOTS though. Eating is a little harder as we're with a picky kid that limits where we stop. Still, I think I'll get out of these 10 days not gaining anything and I'll call that a win. Sun, 12 Jul 2015 08:27:48 EST Week 9 - Going on Vacation! I'm so excited! I get to spend 10 days with my brother in Toronto. I haven't seen him in 2 years. Our last family vacation was in March but was half vacation and half hockey tournament so it's just nice to be able to get away with no real plans. The bonus of seeing family is bonus. <BR> <BR> It is the first vacation I've taken since rededicating to Spark. I'm a little concerned. I can still log food, that's not the problem. I'll be getting plenty of walking in, because that's the best... Sun, 5 Jul 2015 11:04:28 EST Week 8 - Not Where I Hoped I'd Be So I'm at the 2 month mark and I've lost 11 pounds. That's about a pound a week. I've set up the program to lose two pounds a week. This month was super slow and I'm not sure why. I'm beginning to fear that I'm not eating enough. <BR> <BR> I think I am. There are days where I think I could have eaten more but most days I'm comfortable. Yesterday I didn't move much but ate into my exercise calories and was very, very full (but the Greek salad was oh so good). I'm still looking for that... Sun, 28 Jun 2015 15:45:21 EST Week 7 - Getting a New Scale Getting a new scale is tough. I know every scale is expected to have a certain accuracy but a scale I've had for 10 years and never changed the batteries always makes me wonder how accurate it was. This new one reads to the 0.1 (not the 0.5) and has a body fat calculation. I'm excited. It makes me feel like I'm making progress. Sun, 21 Jun 2015 12:20:56 EST Week 6 - Weight Loss is Hard I know I've stayed in my calorie range this week (near the top but the exercise calories say I'm fine) but I didn't lose. There's no reason I can think that I didn't lose. I exercised. I didn't overindulge. I was "good". I did add another workout to my routine - yoga. I'm not sure if I'm overestimating exercise calories or underestimating consumption calories or if it's just one of those things. I'm leaning towards one of those things. <BR> <BR> I'm going to pay more attention to what... Sun, 14 Jun 2015 13:01:27 EST Week 5 - Time for Some New Goals As of today I finished my 2 week goal: walking the dog twice a day, every day except Tuesday, and strength training 3 times a week. It took 3 weeks to get two full weeks because of an illness set back but I did it. Now I want to add something. <BR> <BR> I want two full weeks a yoga three times a day (Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday) and 10, 000 steps. I don't know if I'll make it the first week. I have to change my morning routine a little to get the Wed, Thurs thing going and the first... Sun, 7 Jun 2015 10:50:11 EST Week 4 - Ignoring the Scale I didn't lose anything this week. I didn't change anything that I was doing but I didn't lose. I know there's going to be weeks where that happens - for whatever reason. It's hard not to be disappointed. It's hard not to be discouraged. But, my clothes are fitting better. I'm getting stronger in my walks. I'm working at things the way I want to work at them and things are getting better. This week I have to think of positives that don't have a numerical equivalent. Sun, 31 May 2015 12:29:36 EST Week 3 - A Loss is a Loss Sheesh... try to lose one pound a week and lose three; try to lose two and lose one. <BR> <BR> Intellectually I know there are going to be weeks where I don't meet weight loss goals. There's plenty of reasons why the scale doesn't always match perceived effort. This week I had a stomach bug that sent me home from work and kept me home a second day. My sick day I didn't move more than 1000 steps (I regularly hit 12,000 on a week day). I'm still recovering. <BR> <BR> Yesterday the dog sto... Sun, 24 May 2015 10:40:23 EST Week 2 - Moving the Goal Posts So, I'm two weeks into my newest Spark and I'm pretty pleased with how things are going. <BR> <BR> It's not the weight I've lost (though 6lbs in 2 weeks is awesome), it's that I'm setting goals and meeting them. I've always low-balled my goals on Spark because I figured that I didn't meet them it wouldn't matter because I'd do better next time. That obviously went nowhere. These last two weeks I've been meeting my calorie and exercise goals and I've been succeeding. So why not make them ... Sun, 17 May 2015 10:43:43 EST Week 1 - Again I've done this Spark thing for a while. Not well, but I've been here. This week was different. I tracked like I did the first time. This week I made the choice to eat healthy. This week I made the choice to go out and walk the dog. There were plenty of things that came up that would have made it so easy to not make those choices. I didn't let that happen this week. Now to do that next week too. <BR> <BR> Biggest challenge this week was actually eating enough calories. I was over twi... Sun, 10 May 2015 10:37:36 EST Why Wait? I was going to start trying to lose weight again in the new year. Why wait? <BR> <BR> I've been doing that to myself a lot lately. I'll start tomorrow. I'll wait until after I go away. Next week would be better. Why wait? <BR> <BR> I'm not waiting anymore. I'm tired of being the big girl. I'm tired of feeling frumpy. I'm tired of being tired. Why wait? <BR> <BR> The answer is: don't. There's nothing I can start tomorrow that I shouldn't start today. Sun, 21 Dec 2014 10:44:37 EST Why Can't I Do This I'm tired of constant failure. I've gained so much weight lately after having been stalled for so long. I need to make changes. I just turned 40. That\ll make everything harder. It's time to get hard on myself. I can't keep going the way I am. I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror. I'm tired all the time. I hurt. I'm sure most of it is because of what I've done to my own body. <BR> <BR> Today is the day. Today is the day that I start making changes that I know I need to make. Sun, 20 Oct 2013 09:32:44 EST Hurdles Well, I've started (again). I wasn't planning to blog this time because it doesn't seem to help but I need somewhere to whine a minute. <BR> <BR> I have three hurdles that I must overcome today: <BR> <BR> 1. getting to work. Yesterday was a terrible day and I'd like to believe that today will be better but I'm having trouble. I have to correct some mistakes, I have to finish some work I didn't get to and it's the busiest day of the month. My 6 year old woke me at 5am and I want to crawl... Wed, 5 Sep 2012 10:56:31 EST Day 18 I have not been a good Sparker these last few weeks. I did track my breakfast yesterday, but nothing else. I have to actually think about what I'm doing. I need to lose the weight this time. Wed, 25 Jul 2012 09:38:12 EST Day 15 (Week 2) I don't get it. I didn't exercise this week, I didn't track what I was eating and I didn't drink enough water and I lose 2.5 lbs. I'm not complaining. It's just hard to justify doing all those good habits when they don't seem to get me as far. The only explanation that I have is that since I wasn't tracking, I was eating less because I wasalways sure I was going over. <BR> <BR> New week, anyway. Keep this train rolling. Sun, 22 Jul 2012 10:10:24 EST Day 13 *sigh* <BR> <BR> I'm seriously considering just calling this week a bust and starting fresh. I won't. I will keep trying. I will put yesterday behind me and look at today with fresh eyes. Fri, 20 Jul 2012 10:11:18 EST Day 12 Today? Is today the day that I get myself back on track? <BR> <BR> I'm trying. I really am. I don't want to exercise today, but I really, really, ought to. Thu, 19 Jul 2012 10:30:23 EST Day 11 I'm having the hardest time getting motivated this week. I just can't seem to get myself back into the groove. And I haven't even been trying again that long! <BR> <BR> I am paying attention to what I eat. I just haven't logged it. That usually means that I'm eating way more than I should, but I have been making the effort to just eat food and not junk. I've been indulging in Starbucks in the morning since my coffee maker broke. (Last morning for this little treat.) And we've been hav... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:24:24 EST