MYANTEK8's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MYANTEK8 MYANTEK8's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Why Can't I Do This http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5518361 I'm tired of constant failure. I've gained so much weight lately after having been stalled for so long. I need to make changes. I just turned 40. That\ll make everything harder. It's time to get hard on myself. I can't keep going the way I am. I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror. I'm tired all the time. I hurt. I'm sure most of it is because of what I've done to my own body. <BR> <BR> Today is the day. Today is the day that I start making changes that I know I need to make. Sun, 20 Oct 2013 09:32:44 EST Hurdles http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5045396 Well, I've started (again). I wasn't planning to blog this time because it doesn't seem to help but I need somewhere to whine a minute. <BR> <BR> I have three hurdles that I must overcome today: <BR> <BR> 1. getting to work. Yesterday was a terrible day and I'd like to believe that today will be better but I'm having trouble. I have to correct some mistakes, I have to finish some work I didn't get to and it's the busiest day of the month. My 6 year old woke me at 5am and I want to crawl... Wed, 5 Sep 2012 10:56:31 EST Day 18 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4986029 I have not been a good Sparker these last few weeks. I did track my breakfast yesterday, but nothing else. I have to actually think about what I'm doing. I need to lose the weight this time. Wed, 25 Jul 2012 09:38:12 EST Day 15 (Week 2) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4981525 I don't get it. I didn't exercise this week, I didn't track what I was eating and I didn't drink enough water and I lose 2.5 lbs. I'm not complaining. It's just hard to justify doing all those good habits when they don't seem to get me as far. The only explanation that I have is that since I wasn't tracking, I was eating less because I wasalways sure I was going over. <BR> <BR> New week, anyway. Keep this train rolling. Sun, 22 Jul 2012 10:10:24 EST Day 13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4979013 *sigh* <BR> <BR> I'm seriously considering just calling this week a bust and starting fresh. I won't. I will keep trying. I will put yesterday behind me and look at today with fresh eyes. Fri, 20 Jul 2012 10:11:18 EST Day 12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4977573 Today? Is today the day that I get myself back on track? <BR> <BR> I'm trying. I really am. I don't want to exercise today, but I really, really, ought to. Thu, 19 Jul 2012 10:30:23 EST Day 11 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4975803 I'm having the hardest time getting motivated this week. I just can't seem to get myself back into the groove. And I haven't even been trying again that long! <BR> <BR> I am paying attention to what I eat. I just haven't logged it. That usually means that I'm eating way more than I should, but I have been making the effort to just eat food and not junk. I've been indulging in Starbucks in the morning since my coffee maker broke. (Last morning for this little treat.) And we've been hav... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:24:24 EST Day 10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4974209 Ugh. Yesterday I did the work of 1.5 techs by myself. Only a few minor errors. One was mostly a misunderstanding (that if the customer hadn't been one of those types that are wound so tight they're about to snap wouldn't have been a big deal at all), one that should have been caught by the half tech before it got to the pharmacist (grabbed the wrong drug - an XR instead of a SR), one where I forgot to move something from one basket to the other and one where I gave the delivery driver the ... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 09:36:59 EST Day 9 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4972492 I didn't do much yesterday, but I DID do some weight training. And for that I'm proud of me. I really, really didn't want to do it but I made the time and I put in the effort. <BR> <BR> This week I'm focusing on staying on track. I want to improve on my efforts from last week and build some good habits. I'm starting at a disadvantage because my work schedule changed for the week. I can't work out this morning and I can't make it up in the evening. I'm going to have to do some extra phy... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 09:28:28 EST Day 8 (Week 1) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4971087 So... Um. I sort of forgot that I was Sparking yesterday. I have a bunch of excuses as to why I didn't but I'm just going to say I didn't pay attention and leave it at that. <BR> <BR> Weekly round up: <BR> <BR> Calories: I was in range 4/7 days. Not bad. I can certainly improve there. <BR> <BR> Exercise: weight training - 2/3, cardio - 2/3. Considering I wasn't really planning to get in any exercise the fact that I got this much in makes me happy. I should have gotten more, but I did... Sun, 15 Jul 2012 10:37:58 EST Day 7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4970036 Work, yesterday, kicked me hard. I was running from the moment I got there until the moment I left. By the time I got home I was exhausted and seriously considering crawling in to bed at 7:30. However, I stuck to my eating plan. I knew that Friday was going to be a hard day and I knew I wanted to chill a bit with some potato chips, so I made sure there was room for them. I wasn't as good with the water consumption but we've all got to start somewhere. Sat, 14 Jul 2012 13:08:24 EST Day 6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4968564 So, I forgot to track yesterday. It was one minor convienence after another and I just didn't want to write it all down. I even went to food as my comfort item. I figured I'd blown it anyway. This morning I put in everything I hadn't yesterday. I'm fairly certain that I remembered everything. I was plesantly surprised that I came in on target. <BR> <BR> I even exercsied yesterday morning! Sure, it didn't burn a lot of calories but I was sweating and panting and, most importantly, movi... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 11:06:42 EST Day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4966982 So close! I was one glass of water short of making my 8 glasses a day. It's tempting to cheat and count the can of Coke as "mostly water". <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a pizza day. It just felt like one. I did limit myself to just one piece and I dabbed all the grease off the top before I ate it. By the time I got home I had planned to just forget trying to stay on target and enjoy some potato chips too. But I didn't. Dinner was still a bit bigger than it should have been but I didn't comp... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 10:44:35 EST Day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4965209 I can't believe how sore I am! I didn't exercise yesterday and I went over my goals (by just a little but I'm still bummed I went over). If I'd said "no" to that second cookie I would have been fine. Dinner was a bit more calorie intensive than I'd planned but my husband decided he didn't want to cook dinner. That left takeout. <BR> <BR> I've had more calorie intensive takeout. This was actually a good blend of meat, vegetables and starch. Our local Greek restaurant does meals for take... Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:47:52 EST Day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4963574 Yesterday I exercised. I didn't think I'd over done it but today I'm sore. My arm especially, but my back and legs don't feel too hot either. I want to do another weight day either today or tomorrow. If I feel up to it, I should really do it today as I have a tendancy to keep putting off exercise. I really don't like to do it. <BR> <BR> My husband was unsurprisingly unhelpful. He asked how I felt after exercising. I told him how I felt terribly out of shape. He replied, "Well, you're... Tue, 10 Jul 2012 09:36:49 EST Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4961945 Yesterday went pretty much the way I wanted it to. I did get my water in (yay!) and I even managed to do some exercising. My evening was thrown into chaos with the sudden need to dose both boys for lice (boo!). <BR> <BR> Today my goal is to just track everything. I intend to stay in my calorie range today. Mon, 9 Jul 2012 10:36:21 EST Day 1 (again) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4960379 I've tried so many times that this seems so redundant. I really do what to live a healthier lifestyle but I can't seem to make the changes that I want to see in myself. <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, my weight has gotten to the point where it is starting to affect my health. I have to lose weight now, or I won't be able to enjoy the future. Sun, 8 Jul 2012 11:02:34 EST January 4, 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4659324 Yesterday was absolutely slammed at work. I'm now farther behind than I'd hoped to be. If I were going in tomorrow I think I might be able to catch up but I'm almost disappointed that it's my holiday. I think about work too much. <BR> <BR> Yesterday also saw complete failure of my new healthy ways. I'm not even going to bother to try logging my day yesterday. I'm going to put it completely behind me and start fresh today. Thu, 5 Jan 2012 11:13:39 EST January 4, 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4656452 I'm getting closer. I didn't have that salad for lunch yesterday, but I did have whole wheat sushi. I didn't have wine with dinner, I searched the menu for something that wasn't too heavily loaded, but I did choose to have a small piece of pie for dessert. <BR> <BR> It's Wednesday and I have to get on track. Tonight I have to do strength training in the evening and I have to stay away from all the sweets on display at work today. Wed, 4 Jan 2012 09:53:34 EST January 3, 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4653695 As expected I failed just at the finish line yesterday. I was doing fine until it was time to go home again. I'd been dealing with a headache most of the day so I just wanted something salty to help make it go away. So I grabbed potato chips before I left as a snack. Then once I'd eaten those I let myself believe I'd blown it for the day so I might as well eat as much chinese take out as I wanted, rather than how much I actually needed. I ended the day 400 calories over, no exercise and ... Tue, 3 Jan 2012 10:17:42 EST January 2, 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4650789 Yesterday I met nearly all my goals. I got a headache near the end of the day and couldn't quite finish everything I set out for myself but I'm pleased with how the day went. My husband saved me from eating that last piece of birthday cake because he had two pieces so I was even under my calories. <BR> <BR> Today's challenge is the calories. I'm going to work today and so is DH. That means no time to exercise this morning and probably take out for supper. I have to plan my breakfast and... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 10:27:47 EST January 1, 2012 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4648122 It's a new year and typically time for new year's resolutions. I hesitate to actually make any resolutions because they always fail. But I would like this year to be the one that I make some real progress into living healthy. It's a symbolic start to new things and I'm taking the opportunity to start fresh and think positive. Sun, 1 Jan 2012 11:19:18 EST December 11, 2011 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4621201 I'm having such a hard time with motivation. I just can't seem to stay on track. I'm going to try to do better thiss week. But I'm starting the day with a headache and I'm not confident I can make it through the day. Sun, 11 Dec 2011 10:49:24 EST Day 17 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4614615 I have to turn things around today. This is what usually happens. I have a really good week and then a poor one, and then a really poor one. I have to turn this really poor week into at least a poor week, if not a good one. Tue, 6 Dec 2011 09:44:56 EST Day 15 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4611733 So I gained half a pound this week. I considering how I ate and didn't exercise this week. I have zero motivation right now too. It's going to be work to eat well today instead of slipping into bad habits. Sun, 4 Dec 2011 11:33:25 EST Day 13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4609154 Um, yeah. So failure yesterday. I went way over calories, I didn't exercise and I lost my 8 glasses of water a day streak. I had two cans of Coke, when I usually don't have any. It was just a poor decision day all round. Today I have to do better. Fri, 2 Dec 2011 10:11:24 EST Day 12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4607534 I feel icky. I went to the medical clinic yesterday to get some antibiotics (and pretty much diagnosed myself so I hope I have what I think I have) and I've strained a muscle in my thigh. I just want to curl back up in bed, but I should exercise, and I should go to work. I just don't want to. Thu, 1 Dec 2011 10:47:05 EST Day 11 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4605744 I faced temptation in the form of my husband yesterday. He suggested blowing off exercising and going out for a coffee. So not only would I miss my scheduled strength training, I'd have extra sugary snack. I said no to both. I still ended up way below my range today. I'm having trouble eating enough. And then making enough of it the good and healthy stuff. Wed, 30 Nov 2011 10:13:57 EST Day 10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4604276 Here's my small victory for yesterday - I had pizza for lunch. And I only ordered one piece. Sure, it's a small step but it's a step. It's something that I wouldn't do if I wasn't trying change the way I eat. I still get to eat pizza, I just know I don't need as much. Tue, 29 Nov 2011 11:20:19 EST Day 9 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4602555 I know it's good for me, but I hate feeling stiff and sore. And it's all in my glutes too. I stretch and everything after exercising but going from nothing to something is always going to sting for a while Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:10:32 EST Day 8 - Week 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4601072 It's the end of my first week back on track and I had a pretty good week. I lost 3 lbs! <BR> <BR> I know I can't maintain that kind of loss but it's nice to see the scale moving down for a change. This week I just want to continue making the changes that will make this weight loss permanent. Sun, 27 Nov 2011 11:04:29 EST Day 7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4599827 So yesterday I walked with the boys to school, I did my strength training and went off to work. I ate the lunch that I had brought and everything was good. I came home and went off Christmas shopping (where I did not find something cute for me to wear to my party tonight) and came home to have supper. Of which I ate a normal portion. If I'd stopped there I would have been having a perfect day. Then I had a snack - Rice Works crisps. Not bad in itself, except that I ate the whole bag. I... Sat, 26 Nov 2011 10:04:21 EST Day 6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4598908 Over the hump and still going. I got in cardio yesterday. I had to buy my lunch but I stuck to sushi. Yesterday was my closest to going over because we did take out for supper. I've been so good for most of the week that I didn't feel guilty about dinner. <BR> <BR> Today is another weight day, and a day that I want to stay in range. Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:06:29 EST Day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4597851 I celebrated my team winning last night but not going over in calories. I had actually sort of planned to go over - I took an extra helping at dinner but when I tracked everything I was still below range. And still not hungry. Either I'm not tracking things properly or my range is set too high. <BR> <BR> Today I'm going to get in some cardio. I'm trying to decide if I should take off to the mall tonight to see if I can find a new outfit for our staff Christmas party on Saturday. It sort... Thu, 24 Nov 2011 11:00:57 EST Day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4596563 I did do weight training yesterday, even though I really didn't want to. That means that today I can watch my hockey game guilt free. I even did pretty well on calories. I haven't been hitting my range, but I also haven't been hitting my exercise goals. I think it balances out. Wed, 23 Nov 2011 09:43:46 EST Day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4595186 Yesterday was mostly successful. I didn't quite stay away from all the treats at work. It was someone's 65th so there was a cake. I had a very small piece. And there were the two pieces of chocolate. Even so, I managed to stay within my calorie range and I ate the lunch I brought even though I really didn't want to. I didn't want to. I didn't get a chance for exercise. <BR> <BR> Today is much the same except I want to get some weight training in. Tomorrow there's a hockey game on so ... Tue, 22 Nov 2011 10:00:15 EST Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4593768 According to my tracker I was way under calories yesterday. Of course, I was also under on exercise. I made the time but not the calories. I'm fine with both. <BR> <BR> The calorie intake I don't want to do too often. I should have at least hit 1200 but by the end of the day I'd had everything I wanted and I wasn't feeling hungry. So I didn't go searching for something to eat. Eating when I'm not hungry is one of the things I'm trying to fix. <BR> <BR> The exercise differential is als... Mon, 21 Nov 2011 10:56:00 EST Day 1 (Again) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4592345 I fell off the wagon hard. Usually when I've been gone for a while I just start over with a new name and pretend my failures didn't happen. Obviously that's not working. So I'm keep all my (lack of) progress up to this point and I'm starting over. I've started my Fast Break again and I'm looking at things fresh. So, with that in mind, my blog is starting over from Day 1. <BR> <BR> I'm going to use this space for the positives. Not always, but I want to focus on my successes; not my fai... Sun, 20 Nov 2011 11:38:16 EST Day 116 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4588459 I feel short on both Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't log and I know I went over on Tuesday. I may not have on Wednesday but I had Starbucks in the evening so that probably did it. Especially considering that I haven't started exercising again. Today, I have to at least track everything. <BR> <BR> I think I want to try to find a yoga class. I've been noticing that my flexibility is really lacking lately. I have a couple of yoga DVDs but it's hard to get a chance with the TV to use them... Thu, 17 Nov 2011 10:45:33 EST Day 115 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4586802 I'm trying to decide if I should finish tracking for yesterday. I'm fairly confident that I went over. I made the decision to go over when my husband told me we were having tack out for dinner. Sometimes just eating what you want is important. As long as it's not all the time. Wed, 16 Nov 2011 09:46:14 EST Day 114 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4585089 Day 114. And I haven't really made any progress. I'm trying not to get discouraged by that and just pick myself out of this rut and continue on. Eventually the changes I'm making will have to do something. I know how I should be eating. I know I should be exercising. Now I just have to do it. Tue, 15 Nov 2011 09:34:15 EST Trying to Decide if I'm Sick Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4562817 Yesterday I went to work even though I was experiencing flu symptoms because there was no one else to do my job. It was a terrible idea. I felt rotten by the end of the day and still had to do a bit of trick or treating with the boys. <BR> <BR> Today I think I'm feeling better. I'm not as cold or achy as I was when I went to bed but it's still there a bit. There's also no one there today to do my job. If I stayed home and went back to bed I'd totally kick this thing. If I go to work ... Tue, 1 Nov 2011 09:43:55 EST MIA http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4561216 So I think I'm back. I'd like to think I am. I will admit that I experienced a lot of disappointment in myself and in my program as I've gotten nowhere with this whole weight loss thing. I started feeling like I was depriving myself for nothing. Why should I stop eating the foods I like if I can't lose any weight? Why should I exercise when I can't lose any weight? Well... I should be trying anyway. <BR> <BR> So, back again. I need to work on me. Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:54:26 EST Day 81 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4531788 Things went well yesterday. I think I stuck to my plan pretty well. I didn't log my supper or the small snack I had in the evening but everything else went the way I wanted it to. <BR> <BR> Tonight we're heading out to dinner and that will be a bit of a challenge. I know what changes I should make but my cravings usually win out. Wed, 12 Oct 2011 09:43:10 EST Day 80: Oops! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4529948 So I kind of dropped out for a while. I got tired of not seeing any changes so I walked away. I'm back now and I'm ready to try again. Usually I try to do this on a Sunday because then I can get my weight and everything but I'm not going to bother with that. I'm just going to start trying again today. Tue, 11 Oct 2011 09:36:11 EST Day 71 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4516725 I'm so tired of being tired. I know it's my own fault. I get interested in something and I forget to go to bed at the time I should go to bed but I still have to get up at the same time in the morning. I think I might be skipping exercise today too. I'll still walk the boys to school but I think I really have to get some laundry folded before I go to work. Mon, 3 Oct 2011 10:54:38 EST Day 70 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4514977 I'm having a really hard time getting going this morning. I'm supposed to be exercising and stuff but I have so many other things that I have to get done today. Most of them this morning. I want to just skip it. Sun, 2 Oct 2011 11:19:30 EST Day 69 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4513470 So, I made it through yesterday. My week was not the best, especially where I told myself I was going to do better. I didn't exercise the way I should have and I didn't track. I was careful about what I was eating so I may see some change. I just want to get back on track. Sat, 1 Oct 2011 10:59:50 EST Day 67 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4510134 Yesterday went OK At least I didn't go overboard on lunch. Just a crab sushi, and some corn nuts. I looked for some fresh fruit but nothing was appealing. <BR> <BR> I'm still really tired. I should really exercise this morning before going to work. It'll be a struggle to produce the motivation to do so. Thu, 29 Sep 2011 10:50:29 EST Day 66: I Want to Go Back to Bed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4508177 I did not sleep last night. I feel like I only got about 3 hours but I can't say why that is. It's going to make the day pretty long. I have a tonne of stuff to do at work today to and right now, I don't even want to make a lunch. If I don't there's a good chance that I won't pick up something healthy, I'll grab a couple of slices of pizza. So that's my challenge today - get a good lunch. Wed, 28 Sep 2011 09:32:05 EST