MURSPERZ's SparkPeople Blog MURSPERZ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Why Why Why Why Why A past manager used to advise everyone in our team to practice the 5 Why's. When faced with a problem, ask "why" 5 times and you'll drill down to the root cause -- or at least lead you down the path to it. He used the technique when talking through things with us. It was annoying. <BR> <BR> But I ask myself: <BR> <BR> Why did I drink so much wine yesterday? <BR> Because I had a glass and it felt good so I had another...and then a little more. <BR> <BR> Why did it feel good? <BR> Because i... Sat, 19 Jun 2010 08:21:55 EST Freedom? I was thinking this morning. That in itself was an accomplishment. It usually takes an hour of mindless puttering and a shower for my brain to recognize that my body is up and about. <BR> <BR> Now I guess it's in overdrive and it's bouncing around...back to the point. <BR> <BR> I joined SP to track my nutrition since I'd switched to a primarily vegetarian diet. I'd tried that decades ago in my twenties and foolishly found myself sick, tired and at the doctor's office. I was determined to be... Sat, 22 May 2010 08:16:55 EST My Mind Wanders Endlessly My mind is always on something else. Maybe that's not completely accurate. I seem to start things and get distracted. For instance, I was setting an appointment in SP and remembered an email I needed to send. So I went and did that, then forgot I was setting the appointment. I moved on to checking my other email account. <BR> <BR> Now I'm back in SP. I set my appointment. And I'm here journaling, which is good. But I have an urge to go clean my bathroom. It would be much better to finish wha... Sun, 25 Apr 2010 07:49:47 EST The Little Things I only slept 2 hours last night. I had napped for 2 hours yesterday and was finally tired enough to sleep at 3:30 a.m. Then I had to be up early because the Salvation Army was coming by to pick up my washer/dryer and furniture. <BR> <BR> I also had a horrible nutrition day yesterday. I'm out of food and was starving when I finally decided to go to Wegmans around 7 p.m. <BR> <BR> The uncertainty about how my interview went on Monday caused me some stress. I want the job and felt I hadn't pre... Wed, 7 Apr 2010 09:58:00 EST Longing for Rochester I've been in Erie for a little over 5 months. At first it was an adventure and I was enjoying being here. The last few weeks I've been longing to be back in Rochester. It's almost an ache and I find myself sad more often than not even though Erie is a nice little city. <BR> <BR> After mulling yesterday about my inability to get started on projects and engrossed in activities I enjoy, I realized that I'm often in "wait" mode. I'm waiting for the perfect time. My energy level is low so I say t... Sun, 4 Apr 2010 06:34:01 EST Working Through the Day - Day 30 I had a minor blip in my day yesterday, but it wasn't a bad one. <BR> <BR> Although I'm writing about Day 30, this is really the final day of my 31-day "get in gear" interval. It wasn't as successful as I hoped, but considering my stress I did okay. Today will be a good day. <BR> <BR> I've managed to make some changes in my nutrition and exercise routines that have helped. Next I want to explore ways to deal with my stress. <BR> <BR> During stressful times do I recognize that I'm stresse... Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:57:03 EST Happy New Year Last night I stayed up until midnight. It's been many, many years since I've done that. <BR> <BR> I didn't plan for it. I was up at 3:30 a.m. and off to my last day at work. After work I stopped at the grocery store and was home by 4 p.m. <BR> <BR> Since I decided not to travel back to Rochester, I thought I'd watch a movie for the evening and get to bed early. <BR> <BR> I ended up on my computer doing some planning and moseying aroung the web. The evening just passed. It was relaxing. I ... Fri, 1 Jan 2010 09:59:03 EST Up late last night I'm up much later than usual this morning. I was watching TV last night and the next thing I knew it was 1 a.m. <BR> <BR> I wasn't really interested in the movie that was on, but I was stretching my Friday out. <BR> <BR> Okay, the logic was incredibly wrong. I added hours to my Friday night when I'm too exhausted to move, and took them away from my up-and-ready-to-go Saturday morning. <BR> <BR> But that's okay. Somewhere in my odd little brain the weekend already seems longer. Maybe I'v... Sat, 5 Dec 2009 08:21:54 EST Journaling I just looked back at my entries. I've been writing a daily journal entry for 4 months. <BR> <BR> I've tried keeping journals in the past. It's always been on paper. Part of me misses that because I enjoy the act of writing on paper. I rarely do that anymore and my next goal is to start again. It may not be a journal. <BR> <BR> I've neglected my other writing. That's an activity I desperately want to put back into my regular routine. Finding the time means re-adjusting. I do have the time,... Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:38:27 EST Reflecting this morning I was staring at this blank space and wondering what to write. <BR> <BR> As a project manager gathering "lessons learned" is a scheduled activity for my teams at phase exits and the end of a project. Myself, I try to jot them down through the course of the work. <BR> <BR> During the past months I've read articles and blogs daily. Many of them are from people sharing ways they've overcome struggles during their journey toward healthy living. They're inspiring and they do what I'd expect fro... Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:08:34 EST Content to be wherever I am I drove to Rochester and back yesterday. <BR> <BR> I spent a little time in my townhouse. All the way there I was looking forward to getting there. I wanted to see my place and shop in some familiar places. I had plans to lunch, visit, chat. <BR> <BR> It was a long day and a good day. <BR> <BR> What I realized, though, was that I was glad to get back to Erie. The things I've brought with me are the touches that make the place mine. My cats were waiting at the door. <BR> <BR> Through my li... Sun, 8 Nov 2009 09:49:46 EST Windy The wind has been whipping through Erie all morning. Suddenly it's gone. <BR> <BR> Where does it go? Moves on I guess. That's just a side thought. Wind is a mystery to me. <BR> <BR> Strong winds scare me. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I've experienced exiting a building and being pushed in a direction I didn't necessarily want to go. I fight against it. <BR> <BR> I once left work and rounded a corner. The wind was so strong it whisked the glasses off my face. I never saw them aga... Sat, 7 Nov 2009 06:56:28 EST Thinking about finances today Over the years I've read that financial worries can cause health problems, lead to divorce, and destroy relationships with friends and family. <BR> <BR> I've experienced that the last year. There are probably 2 other periods in my life when that's been true. <BR> <BR> Getting myself back to a solid financial state becomes more difficult each time. Somehow that's not been an overwhelming stress for me. I've trusted that it will turn around. I have a decent education and employable skills tha... Tue, 3 Nov 2009 05:55:46 EST A new tactic Does daily journaling about discouragement and those times I'm not doing well help me? <BR> <BR> From day to day (sometimes hour to hour) I feel differently about how I'm doing with my goals. There are ups and downs. I know this. <BR> <BR> I have a tendency to write when I'm feeling down. It's the way I process and organize the thoughts that fly around my head like pinballs. But as I write, I end up focusing on the one problem that's on my mind. It gives me an overall feeling of not succeed... Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:59:19 EST Two weeks of junk food My schedule the last couple weeks have been hard on my diet. I've been living between 2 cities and preparing to move. The long drives and hotel stays have destroyed my schedule. Add in starting a new job and I've felt like I'm going crazy. <BR> <BR> When I started these changes 4 weeks ago I was determined to eat well. I'd reached my goal weight and was feeling strong. <BR> <BR> I was good for the first week and a half. Trying to eat well on a travel schedule and a tight budget seemed manag... Mon, 26 Oct 2009 05:53:51 EST Always planning for tomorrow... My journal entries seem to have a theme this week. The last one I posted in my blog rambled on about putting off exercise. Today I found myself writing about procrastinating in other areas. Hmmmm... <BR> <BR> I fell asleep on the couch last night around 10 p.m. While it felt good to catch up on my sleep, I feel guilty that I was again lazing around on the couch. <BR> <BR> There are so many other things I like to do that are also relaxing to me. Why don't I do them? Silly reasons I convince ... Sun, 18 Oct 2009 07:13:57 EST Exercise...I've been meaning to do that Butter Fingers...when I was a child my mother used that name for me as often as my real name. My grandmother once told me that "your head is two steps in front of your feet." <BR> <BR> I'm still the person who bumps into the only hard object in a room or pulls the coffee pot from my mug before I'm finished pouring. Sitting on the past pages of my planner are lists of things I've half finished. I start on a task and somehow manage to get distracted by the next one. <BR> <BR> My plan to cle... Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:37:30 EST Twinkies are calling me This week has been stressful. The travel and work were time-consuming and challenging. It was a productive week, though, and I feel that I've accomplished something. Having the weekend at home -- sleeping in my own bed, showering in my own shower and snuggling with the cats -- feels so good. <BR> <BR> There's still an overwhelming, nagging item distracting me. What's more important to me, living in Rochester or having a job I really like? <BR> <BR> Next week I have a series of interviews f... Sat, 10 Oct 2009 08:54:44 EST Hit my goal weight I was shocked when I stepped on the scale yesterday. I thought all my travel and crazy schedule were going to reflect on the scale in a negative way. I almost didn't weigh myself, but decided it was best to see how badly I'd done and determine what I needed to change for the coming week. <BR> <BR> Surprise -- I'd lost that last pound to put be under my goal weight! <BR> <BR> I can't describe how happy I was! <BR> <BR> When I first found this site I thought it wasn't for me. I didn't have a... Sun, 4 Oct 2009 09:26:56 EST My First Week Out of Town It was a hard week -- my first working in Erie. At least it seemed that difficult day to day. <BR> <BR> Today it's Saturday. I'm glad to be at home, awake early and well-rested from having slept in my own bed. I have a list of things to do, many of them to prepare for next week. <BR> <BR> I'm feeling good. Relaxed. Slow-moving and happy to be. <BR> <BR> Looking back on it, last week was a great week for me. The travel was difficult, especially my first drive -- over 3 hours on I-90 and mos... Sat, 3 Oct 2009 08:57:15 EST Quick Entry - Who Knows About What I have to get market, grocery store, bread baking, cooking... <BR> <BR> But I want to do a quick entry. That's where my speed typing comes in handy. If only my brain were as speedy. <BR> <BR> I'm getting prepared for my first day working in Erie on Tuesday. I have my list of things to do. I keep wondering if all of is really necessary. Am I making this harder than it needs to be? <BR> <BR> If I were to forget to pack an item, would I go to work naked on Wednesday? If I didn't ... Sun, 27 Sep 2009 10:09:36 EST Need a Nutritional Change The past months I've made some good changes to my diet and I've seen the results both on my scale and in my energy level. I'm feeling good -- pleased with myself. Too pleased. <BR> <BR> Today is a day for change. <BR> <BR> There are two food items show up on my nutrition tracker regularly (who's sneaking them on there?) -- white rice and white breads. <BR> <BR> It's not that I don't like brown rice or whole grained breads. But I crave that plain bagel and the sticky white rice I grew up ... Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:24:36 EST Balance, Focus, Relaxation My life is about to change. <BR> <BR> I hadn't thought about what my move to Erie really means. It seemed like just a problem to solve -- travel, apartment, finances. <BR> <BR> Here I am attempting to get into my new schedule -- awake, showered and ready to get moving at 5:30 a.m. During the past week I've been visiting with friends and family who I may not see as often for at least the next 6 months. Even the small things, like checking the weather in Erie instead of Rochester, have change... Tue, 22 Sep 2009 05:47:26 EST Adjusting My Routine I've been diligently watching my nutrition, taking my walks, reading, tracking, drinking water, etc. since I joined SparkPeople in July. I've seen the results and am hooked on the site, if not completely on my new eating, drinking and exercise habits. <BR> <BR> The week after next I'll be starting and out-of-town job. The first month I'll be living in the car and office. A new job, a new city, and a new time-consuming schedule -- very stressful. Yet, my anxiety these past days has been about... Sat, 19 Sep 2009 07:27:21 EST Buddies, Buddies Everywhere But... The strategies for the next two weeks are all about sharing and journeying with other people. I'm going to find that difficult. <BR> <BR> It isn't that I mind sharing my weight loss and fitness goals. I don't even mind talking with people about my progress and journey. So what is it? <BR> <BR> Mostly it's that the activities themselves have always been solitary ones for me. I'm self-motivated but know when I might need a little encouragement or boost. Walking an exercising are my time alone... Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:30:40 EST