MTREFRY's SparkPeople Blog MTREFRY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Starting over For the past 6 months my life has been one chaotic mess! It began with an unfortunate incident, which left me with a choice: stay with my husband or keep my children. It wasn't even really a choice...I chose my kids and filed for divorce. <BR> <BR> Then began the heart breaking process of putting my life back together. With all of those changes, I felt worse and worse and found myself "feeding my emotions". I was down to 198lbs in Dec. 2012 and I have managed to eat my way back up to 236.6.... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:40:10 EST "One"-derland For the past few weeks I have been hovering just above the one hundreds mark, waiting there with baited breath. I hadn't been this close in over 16 years. I remember being so excited less than a year ago, when I had finally hit the two hundreds mark. Then today, when I hopped on my scale it read 198.2! I gave a little victory squeak and threw my hands up in the air, scaring the bejeezus out of my 6 year old! He didn't see what all the fuss was about...He calmly informed me that he was still s... Sun, 18 Nov 2012 11:04:06 EST Time to get back on track The past few weeks have been rough, so I decided to just let myself have a break. I have been nursing a bad sprain, which just did not want to heal. My internet hasn't been working, either. I was just stressed out and it lead me to being depressed, which is always a battle for me. So I took a week exercise, no food tracking, nada and now it's time for me to get back on track with everything! The pity-party is over now and I am ready to go! I can do this!!! <em>104</em> Sun, 4 Nov 2012 14:56:44 EST Progress I've been feeling blue lately. The injury to my ankle has restricted my activity and it is taking a toll on me. Yes I'm still doing my best to still workout and eat right, but walking the trail beats chair exercises any day. So in my boredom and pitty partying, I decided it was once again time to do a picture recap of the progress that I have made. Without further ado, here they are: <BR> <BR> <img src="">This one was the only picture th... Thu, 25 Oct 2012 14:20:59 EST Special Places Have you ever been to a place that as soon as you step into it, you can feel its magic? It doesn't have to be a special place isn't. Mine is the Winnipesaukee River Trail. It is such an ethereal beautiful place. I could feel down...hating myself or the situation I'm in. Then I set foot on that trail and it's as if the weight of the world is lifted from my shoulders. Even the graffiti painted on the crumbling remnants of the old power plant adds to the beauty. <BR> <BR> W... Wed, 17 Oct 2012 10:09:59 EST The ABCs of Me Saw this on someone else's Sparkpage and thought it would be fun to do. <BR> <BR> A. Are you at all artistic? <BR> I love to sketch, sing, paint, scrapbook...etc <BR> <BR> B. What are your favorite burger toppings? <BR> Pickles, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, sweet onion (but on a veggie burger only...I don't like beef) <BR> <BR> C. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? <BR> Green <BR> <BR> D. Diamond or pearls? <BR> Diamonds <BR> <BR> E. What exotic pet would you like to have? ... Sun, 7 Oct 2012 10:20:15 EST Surprises, Tractors and the Rest of my Crazy week I haven't done a blog recently because I have been bitten by a bug! The 5k bug <em>20</em> I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to walk the 5k, then when I did I loved it! I have been hitting the trail every day now and I have fallen in love with the trail. There have even been days where I went 10 miles with only a 15 min break for a picnic lunch! WooHoo! <BR> <BR> As for the surprises...I decided to do the @ home fitness test (push-ups, crunches, steps) I completely bowled myself ove... Thu, 27 Sep 2012 15:31:58 EST My inspiration I know that I am still far from my goal, but hitting the 100lbs lost mark is quite a big deal to me. I just wanted to thank all of you at fellow sparkers for sharing your successes and even your backslides. Many of you have given me inspiration to try new things and to keep going even when I just wanted to give up. Thank you all for your support! <BR> There are also three other people in my life that have been behind me throughout my journey...they are my kids. My 15 year old son has ... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 23:15:25 EST Never Quit Pledge Never Quit Pledge <BR> <BR> Today, I promise I will not quit. <BR> <BR> I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, I will continue on my journey. <BR> <BR> I pledge to make a NEW START today, and forgive myself for my past, and to stop being so critical of myself. <BR> <BR> I pledge to take control of myself, to stop making excuses, and stop blaming other people or situations. <BR> <BR> I pledge to treat myself as I would my best friend, because that is who I am... Thu, 23 Aug 2012 22:47:53 EST Medical Issues That old saying..."If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all." That is the story of my life. I have been feeling so much better, healthier, livelier...Then my body turns around and flubs up on me. I now have a heart murmur and I will have to go in for an EKG. Then I have a massive lump in my breast (which my dr was concerned enough about to schedule a mammogram for tomorrow). I just really need some prayers... Thu, 9 Aug 2012 21:54:58 EST PJs My daughter and I were laughing about how big my old pjs were. She said that we could both hop into them, so ofcourse we had to try. Here is the results: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <em>381</em> Sat, 4 Aug 2012 14:19:38 EST I Gotcha! My kids seem to be having a hard time grasping the fact that I have changed tremendously. For the majority of their lives I was a slow moving pretty unmotivated person. Granted I worked many hours on the graveyard shift, so my days were messed up by sleep. Yet I never really played actively with them. I wasn't able to stand on my own two feet, let alone chase them around the yard. <BR> <BR> Today I got to prove to them just how far I've come. First we started the day with a Back-to-school sh... Sat, 4 Aug 2012 00:56:04 EST I feel so good, so why is my MRI results bad!? After my fantastic appointment yesterday, I was sure that my trip to see my neurologist was going to be more of the same. Boy, was I wrong. I hadn't felt any new or worsening MS symptoms...just the obnoxious ones I already have that act up when I get hot. I've completely accepted the fact that these were now my life-long companions. <BR> <BR> Since I had not experienced any new glitches, I was completely thrown for a loop when my doctor pointed out the 4 new MS areas on my brain. I have not... Wed, 25 Jul 2012 20:03:35 EST A Very Happy Visit to the Doctor I don't know about any of you, but my trips to the doctor are usually very stressful and depressing. I went in there today, dreading the visit. Yes there had been many good changes in my body and medicines that needed to be discussed, but I was so nervous that my doctor would find fault with something. I had weaned myself off of insulin, my blood pressure was dipping too low, etc...etc <BR> <BR> I guess that I should have realized that I essentially was not the same woman that I was in Dece... Tue, 24 Jul 2012 21:38:11 EST I can't believe it I wasn't going to go back onto SparkPeople tonight...Just feeling a bit blah. (For those of you who have MS, you can understand just how BLAH it makes you feel some days.) I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and wanted nothing more than to grab my book and crawl into bed. I was heading in that direction, when I saw my pile of "will fit into it someday" clothes. Something told me to try them on (even though I couldn't get the pants over my hips in May). I braced myself for the fight I was su... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 22:10:23 EST I'm melting! Ok, so maybe saying "I'm melting" is a bit dramatic...when I think about those words I can see the wicked witch of the west after Dorothy dumped water on her. I'm definitely not smoking or turning into green mist, but I am shrinking! In a GOOD way! <BR> <BR> I had bought a new swimsuit in May, which was a size smaller than I had worn last year (my old swimsuit looked more like a dress when I put it on this season). I knew the suit was getting looser and looser, but if I swam carefully it wou... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 00:04:58 EST Another Battle Won! I have been attempting do do certain things since I began to lose weight. They are silly sitting on the floor with the bottoms of my feet touching and then lowering my forehead until it touched them...or swinging on a swing without breaking it or myself (lol)... Yesterday I had to bring my daughter to the doctors for an immunization. I decided that I HAD to walk her there, but there was a huge problem- The doctors office is really close to our house (about a mile) but the way th... Wed, 11 Jul 2012 08:46:24 EST Setback Ok I guess I knew (and expected) that eventually I would either have a setback or plateau. That doesn't mean that I fully understood how bad I would feel when it finally happened. I spent all day yesterday beating myself up and trying to come up with excuses for my weight gain. I went through all the excuses that I could think of, but by the end of the day, I had to finally admit the truth...I had over-eaten during the holiday week. <BR> So here I am bright and squirrely on Monday morning, f... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 09:47:59 EST Positive Support I have noticed today that when people respond to things that are posted, some folks respond in a negative manner. For instance, today I mentioned that I use a "Shake Weight" and a person replied that I should use "real" weights instead. I felt like the person was disregarding me just because I was using a tv infomercial gadget. I have been using it since December ( along with several other exercise routines) and I really think the results are plain to see. <BR> I guess my point is, that we ... Thu, 5 Jul 2012 21:38:33 EST