MRS_FLOWERS1's SparkPeople Blog MRS_FLOWERS1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community A loss in spite of myself! Well, my third losing week in a row. I wasn't really sure how I would do, since the beginning of the week was one nasty binge, but I had a nice loss this week. I cleaned up my diet, got myself to my OA meetings, and am doing ok. <BR> <BR> It was a learning experience, at least. I found that great quantities of chocolate make me feel poisoned after a couple of weeks of eating clean. It feels good to eat healthy food in healthy amounts. And it feels good to NOT eat the unhealthy foods in ... Sat, 6 Apr 2013 18:43:51 EST So far, so good Weigh in day today. A much smaller loss than last week, but I expected that. Week two is usually less. It's too bad that I have this much experience with weeks one and two, etc. It's just good that I keep coming back, keep trying. I am rejoicing that it was a loss. It means I am going in the right direction. <BR> <BR> What was not as good was my emotional state. I had a very difficult time keeping on an emotional even keel. I was sniping at everyone. I didn't much like myself at t... Sat, 30 Mar 2013 08:37:56 EST I was able to respect myself in the morning. (Success!) Went to a birthday party Saturday night, and I feel I successfully navigated the food. When I logged what I had eaten, I did go over my calories, but only by about 200. I tried to load up on vegies, brought my own drinks (water and a diet soda), and was able to get up this morning and look myself in the mirror. All in all, not a bad experience. And I know I don't miss today what I didn't eat yesterday. Today was an on-track day, ate healthy, and still have enough calories for a fruit sal... Sun, 24 Mar 2013 19:06:10 EST Getting started again is tough Well, after a determined start on Saturday to get back into the healthy swing of things, I had three days of denial. Sunday, a potluck at church, Monday, out to eat for lunch, and an influx of desserts (not my idea, but they all landed at my house). Instead of insisting they take the leftovers all home with them, I ate. Today, my dear daughter begged me to let her take us out to dinner, again. <BR> <BR> But I refused, made a nice, healthy, chock-full-of vegies soup. I didn't track unti... Tue, 19 Mar 2013 20:33:50 EST Back....again, and again, whatever it takes Well, here I am. Again. I see it has been over a year since my last blog post. Not a good thing. It has been a year of downward spiral. And it's not my weight that has spiraled downward, either! Fortunately, I am still "only" pre-diabetic, but my husband is quickly heading for insulin if something doesn't change. I am practically immobile. My back, hips, joints ache until I can barely get out of bed in the morning. The level of inflammation in my body is frightening. My blood sugars... Sat, 16 Mar 2013 11:21:52 EST A New Day I am daily grateful that God, in His infinite wisdom, gives us a do-over every 24 hours. Every new day holds promises and opportunities. This one is no exception. Today, I want to plan to succeed. <BR> <BR> After several days of struggle and going off-plan, I had an abstinent, on-plan day yesterday. I would like to make today 2 for 2! Today holds its challenges, as does each and every day, but I need to believe that I can meet each of those challenges head-on and overcome them. <BR> ... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:09:09 EST I gained this week :( Well, I logged a two pound gain this week. I even missed my weigh-in day yesterday, so I weighed this morning. I am not surprised by the gain. My program has been a struggle all week. The weight sure comes back a lot easier than it leaves, doesn't it. <BR> <BR> That said, I am going to give myself a couple of minutes to reflect on my gain, and pick myself up and get moving to try to make next week a different story. I am thinking of logging my food in the morning, and then just eating ... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:39:12 EST New Mercies I am grateful for a new day. I binged last night. There it is. Not sure why. Still trying to work it out in my mind. I really wish I could just turn off the compulsion to overeat. But there it is. I had three weeks of wonderful freedom from IT, and then twice this week it reared its ugly head and snapped me back into its clutches. <BR> <BR> I have been around the weight loss battle long enough to know that the majority of the battle is fought in one's head. The actual food consumpti... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 09:55:45 EST Insatiable tummy yesterday Yesterday was the pits. I wanted to EAT, eat everything I could see, eat until my belly was overfull. Eat till I didn't want any more. After two weeks on prednisone, doing well, I broke down and ate yesterday. Yuck! I know I shouldn't have weighed myself this morning after all that, but I did, and was up 2 lbs. <BR> <BR> Then, my husband takes out steaks for dinner. This is not good. I tried to explain to him that I can't eat red meat every day, and he shouldn't either. But there t... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 15:29:32 EST What do I want today to hold? This week's focus for me has been all about choices. Being retired, I make daily choices about how to spend my time, my energy, my food allowances. I have been trying to redefine those choices to reflect a more productive, manageable life. <BR> <BR> One goal has been to get up and go to bed a bit earlier each day. Another has been to get showered and dressed immediately. These may seem like really modest achievements, but they have been major changes in my day. <BR> <BR> I think tha... Sat, 4 Feb 2012 11:08:37 EST Groundhog Day Weighed in this morning, and I have had a 14 lb. weight loss in three weeks. That is phenomenal. I am also pleased that it hasn't seemed hard. Sometimes I think I spend a bit too much time on the computer, but I know that "it takes what it takes", and weight loss needs to be a strong focus of my day for now. It also helps when I post on the team boards. <BR> <BR> My Mom has been so encouraging. She's been my main cheerleader. My DH has been supportive, too. But not as enthusiastic a... Thu, 2 Feb 2012 16:47:25 EST End of Week Three Today is the end of week three on this program, and I think that I will be very happy with tomorrow's weigh-in. It looks like I've lost about 15 pounds! I have been staying within all my allowances, so I know I'm not doing anything wrong. I just seem to lose big in the beginnning. I know it will slow down, but it sure feels good for now. <BR> <BR> When I started, my first goal was to lose an initial 10%. Well, that was 25 pounds! It seemed like an impossible dream three weeks ago! T... Wed, 1 Feb 2012 10:02:05 EST Choices This journey is about more than just the end-game of losing weight. It is about the freedom to make choices. When I mindlessly overeat, I am choosing to let my food compulsion control me. When I eat a healthy diet in an appropriate portion size, I am making a choice. No choice in the first scenario. Just feeding the belly. And the Bible says that the flesh never says "enough". Even two thousand years ago, people knew that. <BR> <BR> Today I woke up early, got moving, took a shower,... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:07:17 EST Back to the doctor Getting ready to go to my doctor's appointment to see how the bronchitis/asthma is doing. This will be the first time I have left the house since I saw the doctor last Friday. I am still coughing, but it has stepped back to the chronic stage now. Hope she has some suggestions. <BR> <BR> I also need to shop for my sister's birthday gift. Not sure what to get her. The dinner is tomorrow. I plan to be proactive with the dinner. I want to look up the restaurant menu and NI and know what t... Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:18:24 EST Getting Better Well, I've been on antibiotics for almost a week, and prednisone for three days now, and the fire in my lungs is tapering off. The cough is still pretty alarming, though. I am so grateful that, in spite of the steroids, I have been able to continue to log my food, and stay within my limits. Amazing! Hope to be well enough to go to sister's birthday party on Saturday. Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:19:15 EST