MRS_BRENDA_P's SparkPeople Blog MRS_BRENDA_P's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Here I Go Again... I'm back. I can't remember how long it's been since I was last on here and I don't want to look back. I want to focus on moving forward. I used to feel really crummy about starting over and writing my "Here I go again" blog. Yet I've realized that at least I'm starting over and not staying where I am. I hate that I keep having to start over but I'd rather keep trying than just quit altogether. I go again. I have definitely gained weight but I have not reached my highest weight. For ... Sun, 4 Nov 2012 22:19:17 EST July Goals -- BLC #15 July?!?! Where did you come from? Is it just me or does it feel like this year is flying and July do not get along. I live in west Texas where July feels like the center of the sun. We've had triple digit heat for like 2 weeks now. Today was supposed to be one of the cooler days of the season (97 degrees). I can't wait for the fall lol. <BR> <BR> Right now the thing I'm looking most forward to about this summer is the Summer BLC #15! I love these challenges. They keep me from eating... Mon, 2 Jul 2012 21:41:15 EST BLC#14 Reflection It's 6/17 and the BLC #14 is officially over. I wrote a letter to myself at the beginning of this challenge. I just went back and re-read it. I didn't accomplish the goals that I had set out for myself and I know why. I wrote them in that blog and that's where they stayed. I never wrote them down where I could see them everyday. I didn't have them in the forefront of my mind like I should have. I set out to lose 12 lbs. I gained 1 lb. A year ago this would have pushed me over the edge and I w... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 01:46:19 EST Reaching my 1 year Sparkversary Hello 1 year Sparkversary :)) This is my third time with Spark and the only time I've made it this far. I'm pretty excited about that. The past two times, I lasted about a month before giving up. I guess the 3rd time really is the least for me. <BR> <BR> Now, I'm NOWHERE near where I thought I would be. Last year, I had this whole pretty picture painted in my head and I thought I'd be close to 100 lbs lost .Well, I'm 33 lbs down. I did lose 50 lbs but then gained weight during th... Mon, 11 Jun 2012 01:47:00 EST 3:00 am blog Yes I should be asleep right now. I just had to write a blog right quick :) <BR> <BR> Life is just as stressful as the last time I blogged. There's a lot swimming around in my head and I wish I could just get rid of it all for a bit. Or at least take it all out so that I can organize it and go through it and throw out what I don't need. Like a filing cabinet. But of course it's not that easy. Right now I'll have to settle for writing a to do list and crossing things off of it as I go along. ... Mon, 4 Jun 2012 05:06:36 EST When life throws you lemons... So can anyone explain this to me: I have been working my booty off and eating right and seeing gains; this past week I fall off the wagon, eat whatever I want and only workout once and I see a loss on the scale....huh? <BR> <BR> I know that weight loss is not an exact science and it's difficult but seeing something like this just makes me feel like I'm putting in all this effort for nothing. I'm not thinking of giving up, it just makes me wonder you know? I think that I need to find a balanc... Mon, 28 May 2012 03:09:56 EST The scale is moving up but the measurements are going down? This week has been horrible. I let all the things going on around me affect me and my weight loss efforts. I haven't stuck to my eating schedule or my workout schedule. I only made it once to Zumba this week. It's been one thing after another after another. Yesterday things got crazy around here. Thankfully it all settled before the night was over and I had a long talk with my pastor/cousin about all of it. I can't change what has happened. I can only move forward and make better choices. I a... Thu, 24 May 2012 22:12:25 EST BLC #14 Halfway Point Blog Blog time :) We're just about to hit the halfway point of this BLC and it's time to reflect and re-evaluate. Well...I'm not where I thought I'd be at this point during the challenge but I have lost some major inches (I'll post them tomorrow). Zumba is doing it's job on me :) I'm not going to let the fact that the scale isn't moving at the rate I'd like stop me from moving forward in this journey. I've made great friends through the BLC and I've learned a lot about myself and about this weigh... Sun, 20 May 2012 01:55:37 EST Ombre Hair Blog ;) Let's talk hair :) I haven't done anything to my hair in ages. The last time I cut it was probably 2 years ago and the last time I dyed it was like 3 or 4 years ago. I've been seeing this ombre hair color trend going around for a while now and I love it. The last time I did anything drastic to my hair was in junior year of high school when I dyed it black lol. So I decided I would try this out. While researching it I realized it was going to cost me at least $100 to get it done professionall... Sat, 19 May 2012 00:44:33 EST Random thoughts I'm 15 pounds away from being at my pre-holiday weight. <BR> <BR> I hate the fact that I gained weight over the holidays. <BR> <BR> If I hadn't gained, I would be closer to my goal right now. <BR> <BR> As much as I hate it, there's nothing I can do to go back and change it. <BR> <BR> I can just move forward. <BR> <BR> Okay so that's out of the way :) I kept thinking about this and I was over thinking about it, so maybe getting it out, it will stay out. I feel like I did pretty great las... Tue, 15 May 2012 15:02:50 EST Week of the 7th = Success! So at the beginning of last week I set a list of goals for myself. I really wanted to push myself to reach all of them. I worked my butt off and I think I did pretty darn good. After gaining a pound for 2 weeks straight, I lost 4 lbs :) I reached all of my goals except for one, which was getting my walks in. Now that my mom and I are doing Zumba, it's been harder to find time to walk/jog but I plan on making that a priority this week. <BR> <BR> Fitness: <BR> - Zumba 3-4 times a week [at lea... Mon, 14 May 2012 03:43:48 EST A note of encouragement to myself :) I just wanted to give myself a quick pat on the back. <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> Sometimes we don't stop and congratulate ourselves for the things we accomplish, even the little things, especially the little things. So this is just a little blog to tell myself how great I think I've been doing ;) <BR> <BR> Brenda, <BR> you have been rocking it this week! You've stayed on track with the goals you've outlined for yourself and you've stuck with the meal plan you created. I'm so proud of you. I kn... Wed, 9 May 2012 23:43:51 EST Fun house mirror vs Regular mirror So I'm sitting here trying not to go crazy. This house is a madhouse. It's doing all kinds of great things for my stress....not. I'm trying my best to stay calm and just let it go. Woosa....woosa.... :) <BR> <BR> Anyway, I had a great Zumba day today. I finally found a mirror I don't hate! Before, I'd been standing on the left side of the room and the mirror I would usually stand in front of was horrible. It's like a fun house mirror that makes everything look wider than it is. At first I ... Tue, 8 May 2012 21:46:23 EST Trying to kill the stress monster Today is weigh in day. I stepped on that scale this morning hoping to see a loss. I've been eating well and I've been working hard. I wasn't looking for 5lbs lost or even 4 or 3. I just wanted to see a loss, even if it was only a pound. Well, I got on that dreaded scale (I swear I think it's grown horns or something) and what do I see...a pound....gained! WHAT?!?! I was shocked. I've been busting my butt and this is what I get in return? Thanks a lot demon scale, now I have to take a stone ou... Sun, 6 May 2012 21:14:33 EST I miss Zumba on the weekends! HELP! I have a new addiction.... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I miss it on the weekends!!! I've been going Mon, Tue, Thur and Fri. I think I might add a Wed morning class. Today is my Last Chance Workout day before weighing in tomorrow and I didn't know what to do lol. I found a dance cardio video on Netflix. It was fun but it wasn't the same. I'm debating buying the Zumba DVDs or the Zumba game for Xbox Kinect. For any other Zumba lovers... Sat, 5 May 2012 14:14:17 EST Weight Loss Vases So I saw these weight loss vases a while ago on Pinterest. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And then the very awesome Sonia made her own. <BR> <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4859795 </link> <BR> <BR> Well that inspired me to finally make mine :) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I got the supplies at Hobby Lobby. The vases were $2.99 each and t... Tue, 1 May 2012 21:55:10 EST My Pledge and My Plan Today, I promise I will not quit. <BR> I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, <BR> I will continue on my journey. <BR> <BR> I pledge to make a NEW START today, <BR> and forgive myself for my past, <BR> and to stop being so critical of myself. <BR> <BR> I pledge to take control of myself, <BR> To stop making excuses, <BR> And stop blaming other people or situations. <BR> <BR> I pledge to treat myself as I would my Best Friend, <BR> Because that is who I am... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 15:16:07 EST First Vlog Fair warning: I sound pretty down in the video but after doing it and watching it and thinking about it, I feel much better :) Sat, 28 Apr 2012 21:01:23 EST Wednesday = Fail So today was a FAIL! The day started off great. My mom and I got our hour walk/jog out of the way early in the morning. We jogged a lot and power walked the rest of the time. I stuck to my 2-hr eating schedule. It was all going well. And then dinner came around and I had a bigger helping than what I'd planned on, mistake number one. And then to make up for it, I suggested we go for another walk. A slower, calmer, more relaxing walk. Well we got about 10 minutes into it and I started feeling h... Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:40:38 EST Zumba :)) Went to Zumba today for the first time ever :) I loved it. It was intense and fun and I got an awesome workout. I don't know why I didn't go sooner. But anyway, I'm excited to go back (will be attending a Thursday morning class). I've been doing well with the 2-hr eating schedule and have actually stuck with it. I'm excited for the next 8 weeks of this BLC. I can't wait to take an after picture and start seeing results again!!! <BR> <BR> Here's a picture of my face after Zumba today. I get ... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:47:16 EST BLC #14 - Letter to myself; measurements; before pic Brenda, <BR> today is 4/23/12 and it's 3:04 in the afternoon. The BLC has officially started and I'm feeling so excited about it. I know you didn't achieve any weight loss last BLC but you did learn a lot about your triggers and about dealing with difficult situations. I am proud that you've made great strides where your faith is concerned. You've made the choice to surrender to God and let Him handle all of this stuff going on that's just too much for you. Remember that you don't need to con... Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:40:58 EST Trying something new today So I woke up feeling better :) Even though I had a night of weird dreams and tossing and turning, I still feel more peaceful and happier than when I went to bed last night. I got some great comments on my last blog that really gave me a lot to think about. <BR> <BR> For the 4th time since I rejoined Sparkpeople, I'm a part of the Biggest Loser Challenge. I love these challenges because they keep me accountable and because I meet awesome people through them. <BR> <BR> Each time I'm blessed ... Fri, 20 Apr 2012 13:50:22 EST CONTROL FREAK! Hi, my name is Brenda, I'm 25 years old and I'm a control freak. <BR> <BR> They always say that the first step is admitting your problem. If you search the term control freak in Wikipedia, you get the following: "In psychology-related slang, control freak is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is done." Well, that pretty much sums up what I mean when I say that I am a control freak. My husband and I live with my mom and sister. My nephew lives he... Fri, 20 Apr 2012 02:13:38 EST From one year to the next...w/ pics It's been almost a month since my last blog. I haven't abandoned Sparkpeople. I'm still here. I just wasn't in the right head space but I'm feeling better about myself now. I have this new sense of determination and although I haven't been very successful in the past couple of months, I have learned a lot about myself and about what works for me. I have these pictures I wanted to share. They're side by sides of now and a year ago. The difference isn't much but I can see my face is thinner and... Sat, 7 Apr 2012 16:38:58 EST Struggling but still here It's been a while since I've blogged and I haven't been very active on Spark for a couple of days now. These past 2 weeks have been say the least. I'm trying to get out of this funk that I've gotten into due to family drama and financial stress and illness. I'm trying to get back on track and nothing seems to work. I'm trying to adjust to my sister and nephew living with us, I'm trying to deal with my youngest sister's issues, I'm trying to not freak out over the fact that my mom l... Thu, 8 Mar 2012 23:09:13 EST Mission Possible! The mission: to lose 2 dress sizes in 6-7 weeks <BR> The plan: Eat right, drink water water and more water and WORKOUT!!!! <BR> <BR> So I'm tired of setting weight goals and not reaching them. Something isn't clicking and it's just not working how it was before. I'm tired of referencing the past..."Last summer I lost x amount of weight" "Last summer I was so motivated" "Last summer I blah blah blah" I'm tired of hearing about last summer!!! <BR> <BR> So the goal now is to measure my progres... Sat, 25 Feb 2012 01:20:06 EST Where are the promised food blogs? So I totally failed at food bloging. I keep forgetting to take pictures of everything I'm eating. However, I'm doing much better than last week :) I'm making better choices and I've worked out everyday since Sunday *gasp* I hadn't really been consistent with working all really...since before the holidays. So I am proud of myself even if I failed at my daily food blogs. I've also been cutting back on sodium and drinking lots of water. Yay me :) Just wanted to check in real quick and g... Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:15:28 EST Food Blog Day 1 So I said I was going to try my hardest to document everything I eat for a week. Here we are, Day 1 and this is where I stand: <BR> <BR> Breakfast: <BR> Chicken Salad with Light Raspberry Vinaigrette <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: (I woke up pretty late today so breakfast was late and "lunch" was more like snacks) <BR> Apple with natural peanut butter (I cut the apple as I go to take my time as opposed to cutting it beforehand and ... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 02:03:41 EST Day 1 I feel crummier than I've felt pretty much all year. I woke up this morning to see that I've gained yet again, for the second week in a row. And I have no excuses for it. I've been eating a bunch of crap all week and I haven't worked out at all. I feel like this blog is totally going to void every other "I can do it!" blog I've written thus far. I keep telling myself and everyone who reads these blogs that I'm going to do it; that I'm all about no excuses. I don't even know what to say. I fee... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:00:54 EST Who's on board for NO EXCUSES week? This weekend was crazy busy but it was a great blessing. Friday I went to bed at midnight (which I guess is technically Sat) and Saturday I woke up at 2am. Crazy right? My hubby and I were on food duty for an event at our church and my hubby decided to slow cook 6 briskets using charcoal grills :) That means we had to get the grills going early to have the food ready by 3:30pm. So we were at church at about 4:45am setting up. It was a loooooong day to say the least. We ended up leaving at abo... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 01:25:30 EST February? Where did you come from? It just hit me a little while ago that January is over! Where did you go? I wasn't ready for you to leave me!!! January was my month to get back into the game; to wet my feet once again. I totally bombed in December and gained 16 lbs. Well that's in the past. January I just wanted to get back on track. I lost 4.4 lbs. That's not a lot and it's definitely not the 16 lbs I gained but it's something. It's a starting point. I was conscious of my food choices. I didn't workout as much as I should ... Thu, 2 Feb 2012 00:54:57 EST Motivational Member....who me?? I'm tearing up right now. I was just reading through some blogs when I saw that I had an email. It was from Sparkpeople letting me know that I'd been voted as a motivational member. It was one of those things like "Who...ME?" I've been on and off Spark since 2009. This time around, I've been here since June of 2011. I started up again because I want a better life for myself. I leave comments on people's pages and blogs and send out goodies because it makes ME feel good to encourage others. I ... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:41:27 EST Just another random blog with pictures :) The anxiety I was feeling has since subsided. I did manage to organize my mom's closet and my nail polish before I got out of my organization frenzy. Here's how that went: <BR> Before <BR> <img src=""> <BR> After <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> She was surprised and happy about it so that made me feel good :) <BR> <BR> ... Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:32:58 EST Anxiety? OCD? Or am I just a little crazy? I'm taking a minute (or two) from my organization frenzy to write a blog. I was feeling a little frazzled up until now (it's been going on for days). I was feeling a little overwhelmed and I was kinda stressing. I have to remember to breathe sometimes. I've never been diagnosed but I think I might have some kind of anxiety issues. I know it runs in my dad's family. I feel it when I have to be in a social setting with people I don't know and when I feel overwhelmed. Maybe it's normal? But the ... Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:32:36 EST Random Update Blog w/ Pics :) I'm trying to write this blog and Chloe (my cat) is being such a brat. She keeps pawing me to get my attention and jumping into my lap and when I try to pet her she jumps back down. It's taken me like 15 minutes to write these few sentence lol because I keep stopping to pet her and rub her tummy. She's so silly. Earlier she wouldn't let me make the bed. She was under the sheet and would not come out lol. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src="... Tue, 10 Jan 2012 23:44:40 EST BLC #13 is here :) Week 1 Challenge I am so excited to be starting a new BLC :) I didn't lose much weight the last time around but I did gain some amazing friends. This time I'm hoping to gain MORE amazing friends but lose some more weight in the process. I'm so ready to get these LBS off. First off is the wonderful letter to ourselves 12 weeks from now. Here it goes... <BR> <BR> Dear Brenda, <BR> check you out! You survived another BLC (your third one!) and came out healthier than ever before. I'm so proud of you. I know how ... Sun, 8 Jan 2012 22:47:06 EST I gained some weight and some perspective I reset my SparkPeople account. Today I weighed myself for the first time in about a month. A month I spent binging on junk food and not exercising one bit. I used the excuse that it was the holidays and that I'd start fresh in the new year, etc etc. Well I stepped on that scale today and at first I couldn't believe it and then reality sank in and I thought about all the crap I've been eating and it made sense in a "slap you in the face" kind of way. I gained 16 lbs in just about a month. I a... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 21:13:49 EST Happy New Year!!! Happy New Year everyone!!! I'm so happy and excited to start a fresh new year. 2011 was chaotic and had it's share of ups and downs. I made mistakes but I learned a lot. I am thankful for everything I had to go through last year, especially the difficult things because they made me appreciate the great things that much more. I'm excited for what this year has in store for us. I am the queen of starting fresh and clean slates and there is nothing like a fresh start when it comes to a new year.... Sun, 1 Jan 2012 02:51:02 EST Crazy week I totally had to re-write the beginning of this blog. I changed my name and then I changed it again. It is now (and will be for a while) Mrs_Brenda_P :-) <BR> <BR> This week has been crazy. My mom had Tue-Sun off from work and although it was nice for her so she could get some rest from work, it was crazy for me. She totally distracted me from doing the things I normally do throughout the week (clean, laundry, workout, etc). And then she used these days off to shop and run errands she'd be... Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:20:03 EST Pouring my heart out...personal blog I'm writing this journal offline because SparkPeople is down for maintenance tonight but I couldn't wait to write it because I might forget what I want to say and because I'm in such an emotional state right now. This blog is really for myself and it's probably going to be really long and I'll also talk about religion and my beliefs so I warn you now :) If that sort of thing offends you or it's just not your cup of tea please stop reading now. <BR> <BR> I just finished watching the Biggest L... Wed, 7 Dec 2011 03:18:07 EST Food Journal Day 4 w/ Pics I totally failed at my food journal yesterday. Saturday's are always my busiest days and I just didn't make the time to take pictures of everything or to blog. But anyway, today was a new day and although I didn't do great when it came to food, I still tracked and took pictures of most of what I ate. Be's not the best. <BR> <BR> For breakfast my mom made menudo. So I had a bowl of menudo, half of a bolillo bread with some butter and coke. (Now I NEVER drink coke...unless I'm eati... Mon, 5 Dec 2011 00:03:10 EST Food Journal Day 2 w/ Pics TGIF! Although it doesn't really feel like a Friday to me, I'm still glad it is :-) It's been such a cold day today. And now it's raining which is just crazy. We had the fireplace going earlier which was nice. It's supposed to be really cold for the next few days. Time to pull out the winter clothes and jackets ;-) Any who, here are my pictures for the day. <BR> <BR> Breakfast: Honey Nut Cherrios (serving size is 3/4 of a cup but I always measure out a whole cup) w/ non fat milk (also 1 cup)... Sat, 3 Dec 2011 00:04:41 EST Food Journal Day 1 w/ Pics So part of the weekend challenge for the BLC this week is to take a picture of everything I eat and drink :-) I was excited for this challenge from the start. It's really a way for me to stay accountable and to really think about what I'm eating because I know I'll have to share it. So here goes: <BR> <BR> Breakfast - egg whites scrambled with turkey ham, an orange and a slice of whole wheat toast with peanut butter and water (my water tumblr is a little over 24 oz so I count it as 3 glasses... Fri, 2 Dec 2011 02:39:33 EST 31 days left in 2011 *Broiled lime and lemon pepper tilapia with brown rice and some baby carrots <BR> *Chicken casserole with pasta, squash, eggplant and broccoli <BR> *Banana <BR> *Breaded chicken parmesan with squash and brown rice <BR> *72 oz of water <BR> <BR> That's what my day looks like so far. I got out of the habit of tracking so I'm getting back on track with that. I didn't lose 50 lbs by eating whatever I wanted without knowing the calorie, fat, protein etc count. Not tracking is just me being lazy. ... Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:17:12 EST Bye Thanksgiving, it was fun and all but I'm glad you're gone So it's Black Friday. I've been at home all day being lazy. In fact, I'm still in my pajamas. I don't do the whole 'waiting in long lines to buy stuff' thing. We've been playing Monopoly and UNO all day. Yesterday was a really great day. We spent Thanksgiving at my grandma's house. Although I didn't count calories or workout, I still feel good about the day. I ate small portions and I didn't go back for seconds :-) Here are some pictures for the fun of it: <BR> <BR> My grandpa and my nephew ... Sat, 26 Nov 2011 00:35:05 EST Looking for strength within "Eat for performance and not because you have a hole in your face." - Jay Johnson <BR> <BR> I was watching "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team" earlier and I heard the trainer say that. I need to ingrain that into my brain. Food is fuel. Food is fuel. Food is fuel. I'm obviously not going to fill my car with gasoline when it's already full. I'm going to fill it as it needs fuel. So why do I stuff my face when I'm not hungry? Why do I continually open the refrigerator when I'm bored... Sat, 19 Nov 2011 02:05:24 EST Need some inspiration? <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=" Tue, 15 Nov 2011 15:23:39 EST The Climb Part of today's mini challenge for the BLC#12 was to listen to Miley Cyrus' song The Climb and blog about the lyrics and how they made me feel. <BR> <BR> First off I want to say that I don't really like Miley but this is one of my favorite songs ever. The first time I heard it I got chills. It's a great song with a beautiful message. My favorite line part is: <BR> <BR> "The struggles I'm facing <BR> The chances I'm taking <BR> Sometimes might knock me down, but <BR> No I'm not breaking" <B... Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:08:27 EST My Spark is Back :-D plus end of Week 4 Results and Measurements "It's just as easy to throw on skinny jeans and flats as it is to throw on sweats and tennis shoes" <BR> <BR> I saw this on Twitter and I can't for the life of me remember who tweeted it. It is so crazy where we find motivation and inspiration. It's different for all of us. This tweet I randomly saw in the middle of the day completely inspired me. I got this image in my head of myself at my goal weight in cute skinny jeans, a baggy sweater and ballet flats. That's the picture that I have in ... Sun, 13 Nov 2011 16:32:55 EST An epiphany If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh <BR> <BR> That quote has absolutely nothing to do with weight and weight loss. Yet it speaks to me on so many levels, weight being one of them. How freeing to the mind is it to think that if you feel like you can't do something, you should do it anyway and prove yourself wrong. Even if you fail, you tried and you can continue to try until you succeed. <BR> <BR... Sun, 6 Nov 2011 19:40:31 EST