MRSKATEDUVALL's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MRSKATEDUVALL MRSKATEDUVALL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ wrapping up to go forward. August and September goals. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5988547 September 1, 2015 <BR> <BR> It’s the end of summer, the end of the dog days of August. I am evaluating the month In terms of my goals for August, looking at my obstacles, and setting new goals for September. <BR> <BR> <BR> Calories, tracked and in range. 19 out of 31 days. 5 days over BMR. The obstacle I hit was not tracking, not weighing and measuring, in summary, I got lazy. <BR> Steps: 10,000 steps daily= no days. Earned the Spark in Progress trophy each week for the month. <BR> 2... Tue, 1 Sep 2015 05:23:24 EST it's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5987578 August 30, 2015. Picture me singing. Is that song familar to you? <BR> <BR> It’s the end of my staycation. Tomorrow I go back to work. It wasn’t the greatest or most productive of weeks. I did learn the meaning behind why I take my anxiety meds. Through a mishap ( I really need mindfulness training), I neglected to put the gray and pink pill in my nightly case. Sunday night, no sleep, Monday Tuesday and Wednesday, no sleep, a ball of anxiety, puddled on the floor- or in these case, m... Sun, 30 Aug 2015 19:08:27 EST Just didn't do it and other woes. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5971715 August 3, 2015. <BR> Today’s 100 is about doing it anyway, and today I didn’t do it. I choose to sleep instead of getting up and doing my bible study, sleep instead of walking. I choose easy quick fast food instead of coming home and eating salad. I ended the day with a 3,000 calorie day. The bible study was about an accountability partner. I am actively looking for someone who I can develop as my accountability person. The bible studies says it should be my spouse, but I can tell you ... Mon, 3 Aug 2015 23:13:52 EST Am I interested or Committed? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970729 8-2. <BR> Scripture that started the day: "to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24" <BR> I pray: “ I realize that Permanent weight loss is not just about doing away with wrong eating. It is about embracing Christ and asking Him to change me from the ins... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 10:51:03 EST It's AUGUST. So glad for a new month. new goals, etc http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970339 8-1-2015, <BR> Starting 100 days challenge today, again, for the third time. My August starting weight is 287. My weight fluctuated all the month of July, up two, down two. My goal is to loss a pound a week, so 15 weeks equals 15 pounds. My goal is to weigh 270 by Thanks giving. When I do so, I can add two more beads to my bracelet. My reward for getting there, for finishing the 100 days, and losing weight while I do this, is a spa day. I went to print out the three month calendar, ... Sat, 1 Aug 2015 15:07:07 EST review of the 18, plan for the 19, Lord's table number 6. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5963192 Sunday july 19. Goal: 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal? Binged, tracked, over range. <BR> How many servings of produce?5 <BR> Paleo? No, I had yaki soba noodles, and pretzel thins. <BR> Did I overeat this day? I ate too much for my #3 snack. <BR> did I move and exercise? No, rest day. <BR> Do I feel lighter? Yes, although the scale doesn’t match it. <BR> Did I eat in secret, in anger, in boredom or frustration? Yes. Late night binge. <BR> Do I feel like I turned to God instead of food? I did my... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 11:29:46 EST 16,17 and plan for 18 and next week. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5962808 Saturday, July 18, 2015 <BR> Review- Thursday, Friday. <BR> Goal: 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal?in range, but out of control on Thursday, Out of range Friday. <BR> How many servings of produce? Thursday was a liquid fast until I broke. Friday I had 4. <BR> Paleo? No, ate pasta and tortillas. <BR> Did I overeat this day? Yes, to both days. <BR> did I move and exercise? Walked to work, skipped water aerobics. Rest day on Friday. <BR> Do I feel lighter? No. <BR> Did I eat in secret, in anger, in ... Sat, 18 Jul 2015 15:15:15 EST 13,14,15, and plan for 16. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5961633 July 16. Review of the last two days, plan for today. <BR> Goal: 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal? In calorie range until evening and nighttime binge. Didn’t track. <BR> How many servings of produce? Not a focus. <BR> Paleo? no <BR> Record my star on the calendar: didn’t earn a star <BR> Did I overeat this day? Yes, binged both 7/14. 7/15 <BR> did I move and exercise? Yes. Walked 7/14, water aerobics 7/15. <BR> Do I feel lighter? Pain level was high, took my focus away. <BR> Did I eat in secre... Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:11:41 EST 10th leads to 11th http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5959018 Review of 7/10, plan for 7/11. <BR> Goal: 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal? Way out of line, 3,336 calories, 418 carbs. PIZZA, CHIP and a kind bar binge. <BR> How many servings of produce?just my salad, 3 <BR> <BR> Paleo? Pizza and chips are not paleo. <BR> Record my star on the calendar.: NO star. <BR> Did I overeat this day? Yes, I got to the afternoon and just ran out of steam, didn’t want to make dinner, bailey offered cold pizza and it went downhill from there. Lesson- I need routine. <BR... Sat, 11 Jul 2015 10:49:35 EST While I've been away... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5958690 Good Grief, it’s been a while since I wrote in a journal or blogged. I have been out of control. The anxiety over my dad, the anxiety over the building move, the stress over being laid off, not being laid off.. all of it combined to a anxiety of full blown proportion. So I am getting grounded… good things that have happened. Bad things have happened. <BR> 1) I got a car. It’s a used luxury car that still has all the bells and whistles and it is so much better than the farm truck. <B... Fri, 10 Jul 2015 16:02:04 EST July 3rd and 4th, review and plan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955246 daily review of July 3. goal check in: <BR> Goal: (actual): 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal? actual was 168 carbs, 2209 calories <BR> How many servings of produce?8 <BR> Paleo? no, I had bread <BR> Record my star on the calendar. <BR> Did I overeat this day? no <BR> did move and exercise? yes, nice long walk <BR> Do I feel lighter? yes <BR> Did I eat in secret, in anger, in boredom or frustration? No, I write in the journal and blogged <BR> Do I feel like I turned to God instead of food? slight... Sat, 4 Jul 2015 06:56:10 EST Independence Day, are we ever free from our birth family? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955236 So, it's 2 am in the Pacific Northwest and I can't sleep. In therapy, I am working on identifying addictive behavior, and the primary emotion behind it. It's grief and loss, and anxiety relating to family. Not my nuclear family. My kids are good, my husband is good and my house is clean. We are having an extended family BBQ tonight, and will watch the city fireworks show. But the anxiety about my family of origin, is huge, and looming. I ache. Partly due to the horrid hot 108 degree weathe... Sat, 4 Jul 2015 05:54:44 EST Review, plan, ignite... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5950143 Review for June 22, 23.. plan for 24. Three days in one blog. <BR> Goal: 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal? I was within range on Monday, Tuesday… by the grace of exercise. <BR> How many servings of produce? Monday I did well, 9. Tuesday.. not so much… <BR> <BR> Paleo? Monday yes. Tuesday was my cheat day. <BR> Did I overeat this day? Monday no, Tuesday yes. <BR> did I move and exercise? Yes, walking, water aerobics. <BR> <BR> Do I feel lighter? No. feel fat. A lot of it is the two small bathin... Wed, 24 Jun 2015 08:07:32 EST Sunday review ( father's day) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5949052 June 22, 2015 <BR> daily review for Father's day, and goal check in: <BR> Goal: 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal? way over.. late night snacks. <BR> How many servings of produce? 8 <BR> Paleo? yes <BR> Record my star on the calendar <BR> Did I overeat this day? yes <BR> did I move and exercise? rest day <BR> Do I feel lighter? yes <BR> Did I eat in secret, in anger, in boredom or frustration? no <BR> Do I feel like I turned to God instead of food? no <BR> Did I use my skills instead of food? no <... Mon, 22 Jun 2015 08:51:05 EST Monday's review and tuesday plan... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5946079 daily review goal check in: Monday June 15 <BR> Goal: 150 carbs, 1, 800 cal? (2,700) way over, it was the chocolate binge and the 120 ounces of cranberry juice. <BR> How many servings of produce?9, not counting the juice <BR> Paleo? yes <BR> Record my star on the calendar. Hooray, 3 met <BR> Did I overeat this day? yes, chocolate binges <BR> did I move and exercise? yes <BR> Do I feel lighter? yes <BR> Did I eat in secret, in anger, in boredom or frustration? yes chocolate binges <BR> Do I... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 11:53:28 EST Today is the first day of mermaid class. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5945379 it's really an exciting day. I woke early, with a new daily blog plan in mind. I updated my daily steps. Here they are, the plan for the summer 2015: <BR> <BR> THESE ARE THINGS THAT I CHOOSE TO DO TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. My specific goal: I will engage my steps toward health each day. I will get a record of them in Spark’s people community journal. I will record calories, carbs. and nutrients in Spark people. I will blog my specific plan and how I did in a blog. <BR> 1. Up early or on t... Mon, 15 Jun 2015 08:36:07 EST Tis the start of summer.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5941215 this is the one time of year that I wish I had gone into school social work. My boys are out of school for the summer, and the princess has one final and moves back home tomorrow. My plan for the summer- continue to log in every day, continue the water, continue daily walking ( we have to walk earlier due to heat), add tracking of all meals. I do good with breakfast and lunch but slowly lose it by the end of the day. I have therapy tomorrow. working on mindfulness. I read this great bl... Sun, 7 Jun 2015 14:19:48 EST I've been sparked. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5931879 So, I have been hiding. I haven't been doing well; battling various ailments, sadness, fibro, stress. I haven't been much of a presence of Spark. I lost my SPAT so couldn't track steps, and then I stopped tracking. I did however log in every day, and drink my water. I woke early, actually able to breath, and weighed myself, tracked that. then I was just browsing the site. a featured blog hit me. <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo<BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5929767 </link> ... Thu, 21 May 2015 09:16:42 EST Horray Horray for the 8th of May, it's outside..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5925463 <em>18</em> If you are a WSU cougar, or are from Eastern Washington State, you might be able to finish that statement. I did not commemorate this special day in the traditional way, I worked. <BR> <em>46</em> I am finding it hard to bounce back to my routine. I am just sad. I feel like I am at the bottom of the well, and I can see the light, but I can't climb the walls. So, I am taking a page from from 100 days of weight loss , Just do something. JUst do something, anything that ge... Sat, 9 May 2015 20:24:28 EST May goals, and the plan to get there. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5923211 As always, I want to lose weight. May has 4 Mondays, so that is four opportunities to lose weight, a pound each week is the slow plan. Staying in calorie range is the goal. 1, 600-2,000. <BR> Starting weight, May 1 is 290. <BR> May 4- 287 <BR> <BR> Plan to get there: <BR> Monday: Shakes for breakfast with salad and protein for lunch. Shake for dinner. <BR> Tuesday: shakes for breakfast, lunch, Paleo is for dinner. <BR> Wednesday:Shakes for breakfast with salad and protein for lunch. ... Tue, 5 May 2015 18:05:42 EST In honor.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5923205 Dear Sparkers. It’s been more than a week, and I have much to report. In the past week, I buried a co-worker. My grief and loss is complicated, as my relationship with this person was complicated. I wish my relations were simple, that I am kind to people, that I treat them with respect. To honor what this person was, I need to focus on my health. She fought an autoimmune disease for 10 years. She made lifestyle changes in her fight. I need to do the same. To honor her, I need to be ... Tue, 5 May 2015 17:45:15 EST April 26 to May 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5918235 My plan for the week <BR> Monday: up early, to spark. shake, walk to work, walk at lunch time, salad for lunch, snack, Soup, Bootcamp, Shake. <BR> Tuesday: up early, crock pot, shake, drive to work, Print journal, drive to Spokane, appointment, Unit meeting, shake for lunch, walk, pork roast in crock pot. Spark at night. <BR> Wednesday, Repeat of Monday. <BR> Thursday: Spark, crock pot, shake, walk to work, snack, walk at lunch time, shake, snack, walk home, 5:30 yoga, corn beef in croc... Sun, 26 Apr 2015 23:49:56 EST It's the last week of April. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5917985 Highlights of the week <BR> <em>46</em> finding out that the little rat dog and rolly polly cat are great mouse hunters. Not so joyous as they bring their catch to bed with me. I screamed, hysterical. Apparently they are migrating from the garage. <BR> <em>361</em> We have resumed walking. the big 12 K bloomsday weekend is coming up. I have earned 700 fitness minutes so far for April. However, I didn't make it to bootcamp. AT ALL. I have felt sore, with some fibro days throw... Sun, 26 Apr 2015 14:22:33 EST there is one week left of April, and how are the goals? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5914097 So I lost a week this month, and am behind in fitness minutes. I added a new cardio to the regime, Sunday mowing the lawn. It took my 71 minutes, and earned me 600 calories burnt. It was kind of Zen, step push step push round the corner, steps, push. My thoughts were goal oriented, until the little rat dog decided to run out the garden gate and go trooping through the neighbor's lilac bushes. Then my thoughts were panic, abandonment, panic. My baby trespassed in the neighbor's backyards unt... Sun, 19 Apr 2015 19:00:00 EST there is one week left of April, and how are the goals? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5914096 So I lost a week this month, and am behind in fitness minutes. I added a new cardio to the regime, Sunday mowing the lawn. It took my 71 minutes, and earned me 600 calories burnt. It was kind of Zen, step push step push round the corner, steps, push. My thoughts were goal oriented, until the little rat dog decided to run out the garden gate and go trooping through the neighbor's lilac bushes. Then my thoughts were panic, abandonment, panic. My baby trespassed in the neighbor's backyards unt... Sun, 19 Apr 2015 18:59:18 EST The end of the week finds me so very tired. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5913365 I had a fibro day yesterday, so I didn't go for the morning walk, and the lunch time walk was much shorted than normal. I didn't go to boot camp. Today, finds me tired, but awake. I have to work today. My workload is such that even if I have the sick leave to take, I can't really be away. I took two days this week for doctors appointments, and am very behind. So my supervisor cancelled one day of leave, and I am just going to work today to get caught up. I have done ok with food this week.... Sat, 18 Apr 2015 09:44:09 EST Convergence; day 23 of 100 dwl with applying therapy. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5911350 I had a big day yesterday. I had therapy in Spokane, so that's a two hour road trip. I started my day with a lesson from 100dwl, to savor a chocolate.. I purchased a Dove promise. First happy thing was the promise telling me I was gorgeous. This matched the Spark coach reminder and task to love my body now, rolls and gray hairs and wrinkles. Then I savored the chocolate. I made it last as long as I could, melting in my mouth. I loved the rich chocolate flavor. But I confess, one chocol... Tue, 14 Apr 2015 19:38:42 EST Spark coach tasks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5911220 I know I've had a good workout when I am muscle sore, my SPAT lights up and I've hit 90 plus minutes for the day. Tue, 14 Apr 2015 14:03:43 EST Spark coach tasks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5911219 I know I've had a good workout when I am muscle sore, my SPAT lights up and I've hit 90 plus minutes for the day. Tue, 14 Apr 2015 14:03:43 EST Today in Sparkland 115 for logging in, day 22 for 100 dwl. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5909969 So two important days past by.. my 100 days of "re-framing since new years" was Friday, April 10. My three year "Sparkverser" was March 31. today is my 115th day of logging in, and day 22 of the 100 days of weight loss journal. Two things converged for me today; Spark coach was about self motivating,and suggested that I print out motivating quotes. Healthy Habit was about creating a vision board. Because I think in words, rather than pictures. I re-wrote my goal paragraph. <BR> My ove... Sun, 12 Apr 2015 14:29:31 EST How did I lose a week? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5909506 I’ve been away. For A week. My last blog was full of optimism. then the holiday came, and a really beastly week at work, and my work out motivator, head cheerleader went on vacation. <BR> <em>234</em> A perfect storm. <BR> Today’s mantra- just because your consistency has been slipping doesn't mean it's time to throw in the towel! Get back to basics today by tracking your food and fitness minutes. Little steps can add up to something amazing! So, I have tracked my food, have a plan... Sat, 11 Apr 2015 16:17:54 EST March wrap up, April Goals and Saturday To-do's. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5905331 <em>192</em> The end of march found me with PMS. How is it that I can go to bed, and wake up 10 pounds heavier? I hate PMS and period weight gain. And then I gave in to the cramps, the malaise, and ate comfort food, took a 4 hour nap. the end of march wrap up: Weight, 284. Fitness minutes for the month: 1,173. Of the five weeks, I was over 300 minutes on three of them. For calories, I was under my BMR 18 days. goals that I am still working on: Preparing for Bloomsday, Biggest loser. <B... Sat, 4 Apr 2015 12:38:38 EST My house is cranky but spark makes me happy. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901775 My house is cranky. <em>46</em> partly because there is conflicting priorities. My husband is cranky because he has work to-dos, <em>46</em> which he swears have to get done. I think one of these is the taxes, which he procrastinated at. BUT there is also house priorities. The dryer is dying, and I need him to fix it. He wants to clean his garage. I want him to help with the house. So I ask him to do something, he in turn asks the boys. I now skip asking, and go straight to the boy... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 15:46:54 EST Northup Canyon Pictures http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901719 THe camera didn't work during the hike, so I can before and after pictures. the first picture is from dry Fall Canyon, a vistor center with a potty spot about 45 minutes before the hike. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1943618441.jpg"> <BR> <BR> then we hiked.... <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1022465844.jpg">. this is the after picture. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1614481944.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And then the SPAT reached 10,000. <i... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 13:46:20 EST My new theme song. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901384 I heard the tom petty version on the radio, and thought the words just fit. Then I found a version by one of my favorite grunge guys. <BR> <BR> <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOZ7<BR>cr_UcB8 </link> <BR> <BR> enjoy. Sat, 28 Mar 2015 21:27:52 EST WooHOO! 100 days. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901112 I have logged in, tracked my food and exercise for 100 days. WOOHOO for me!. <em>244</em> to celebrate this accomplishment, Catlady and I are going to Hike Northup canyon. I'll post pics tomorrow. It wasn't planned as a celebratory thing, it was planned as a way to practice for Bloomsday, and get some hill action in. <em>361</em> BUT it's a nice coincidence. <BR> Life continues. I have met my calorie differential every day except yesterday. Yesterday, I gave in to tired, emotion... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 10:31:34 EST Five words or less http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5900302 I am very tired. My for words as directed by spark coach about how I feel today. Thu, 26 Mar 2015 21:24:05 EST Do it anyway, I did it. day 3 of 100 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5899484 Good morning Spark friends. today finds me very tired but I got up to spark anyway. That was one of my lessons from sparkland yesterday. Just do it anyway. <BR> <em>252</em> SPARK COACH asked me about my bucket list; what's on it and what can I do today to capture it? It's all about exotic hiking. Pacific trail, Appalachian trail, grand canyon. To capture this theme this week, I will plan a hike for Saturday. I passed a trail head on my travels yesterday that would be fun to hike again. ... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 13:40:42 EST Welcoming the Spring Rain. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5898666 Hello Sparkers. here is how it's shaping up in my Sparkworld. <BR> <em>252</em> SPARK COACH today was about motivation and it addressed an underlying fear. I had two good days, and have all intentions and purposes planned to have a third, making it a streak. My fear- tha tmy motivation and drive wont last. I have such a big long term goal ( to lose 134 lbs by 12/11/2017 when I turn 50) that I often lose a sight. 142 weeks, to lose 1 lb a week, is a long time. So I have short term goals... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 08:49:36 EST Three good things. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5898361 For a while now, I have been journaling about three good things that have happened or that I am grateful about for that day. Today, spark coach directed me to blog my three good things. 1) my daughter. She is home for spring break. 2) catlady and our Daily walks. 3) my boss. She has been really supportive this week. Mon, 23 Mar 2015 19:11:24 EST Three good things. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5898360 For a while now, I have been journaling about three good things that have happened or that I am grateful about for that day. Today, spark coach directed me to blog my three good things. 1) my daughter. She is home for spring break. 2) catlady and our Daily walks. 3) my boss. She has been really supportive this week. Mon, 23 Mar 2015 19:11:24 EST I hate the scale, and other tidbets. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897477 <em>46</em> Because I had a spectacularly healthy day yesterday, I expected the scale to move. It did, but in the wrong direction.! LOL. Looking over my food log, I think it was the trail mix I discovered hidden in a cupboard. I tried to measure it out, but went back for seconds. <BR> <em>252</em> I am up early to Spark, do self care, start the day. I have had my morning juice and meds, did my med box for theweek, and have been sparking. I am waiting for the children to wake before I ... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 11:20:51 EST Finally, a blog update from the authentic Kate. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897095 Good day Sparkers. It's the weekend, and I finally have time to blog. Besides checking in with my favorite topics, I want to update on my therapy session and the search for the Authentic Kate. <BR> <em>252</em> SPARK COACH Was about rebooting, taking one step forward, when you have taken two steps back. I was to pick two ways you can go forward. today, I picked going on a walk ( 82 minutes) and re-reading my blog to see where I have come. and I think I have come far. No longer am I i... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 17:00:53 EST Wirlwind.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5895890 First I was sidelined by a cold, otherwise known as a upper respiratory infection. It took till Sunday before I felt human and non-zombie. Then I was swamped with work. In between appointments, meetings and travel, I had therapy. I have much to report, as well as updates on my challenges but right now I have to go to work. I will blog more updates later. <BR> <BR> Have a great day, Sparkers. Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:59:17 EST Not a fraud, the authentic kate http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5890466 I am a food addict. I binge eat. I do this in response to emotions, such as stress, anxiety. I do this because it’s preprogrammed. I dislike deprivation. If given a choice between two foods, I choose both of them so I am not deprived of one. I find that the urge to eat will overpower the desire to be healthy. I’ve been struggling with this for a long time. I pay the consequences of my choices with long term chronic health issues. I am a low energy person. I dislike getting out of bed... Tue, 10 Mar 2015 12:24:58 EST I am a fraud. I've hit the lowest low. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5889967 I have been off program. for days. Each day, I start anew, stating I am going to do it today. then I nibble, or nibbling goes to biting, biting goes to a whole meal, and pretty soon I've gone non-paleo, and I am eating with abandon. I tell myself, it's ok, it's just one.. and I track it. those numbers don't lie. I have not hit my calorie differential in days. I spark, write out good plans, and THEN I DON'T FOLLOW THEM. And last night, I involved my children in my dysfunctional eating.... Mon, 9 Mar 2015 15:40:07 EST NEW PICS! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5888826 So last week, I hit 279. this is a thirty pound loss, with a 10% weight loss in. to celebrate, I took new pics and brought out my reward CHARM bracelet. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1524534300.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/9/l896440122.jpg">.. I am sad that I gained weight this week, and didn't hold on to the 10%, but today is a new day, tomorrow is a new week, and I am focusing on the little steps. today, I am in control. Sat, 7 Mar 2015 17:49:30 EST day 65, day of rest. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5888722 I am depressed. Overwhelmed. I feel fat. Fat is a feeling. I turned to sparkpeople, and read a post about someone who is grateful for the new day, the new opportunity. What a nice attitude. I read sparkcoach, and the message was to be kind to myself. I will be kind to myself. Even though my weight is up, my calorie differential was way off, and I feel fat, I will be kind to my self. I will stick to program, because that makes me feel better. I will do small healthy steps, like cleaning ... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 14:27:55 EST Day 63... time has slipped away. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5887503 I cant believe that it's been a week since I blogged. time has just slipped by. I had a sideline of three days where I stayed in bed with the fuzzy blanket, kitties and hot tea. ( cramps). <em>527</em> I bounced back Monday night, and went to bootcamp. <em>318</em> Food wise, i have been really good, started to nibble a bit last night. Doing the calorie differential, and tracking everything really stops nibbling in its tracks. I wondered why my weight was up this morning, then I pu... Thu, 5 Mar 2015 11:47:30 EST Finding My true voice, day 57, lesson 17. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5883030 So I posted a decision I was considering, wanting feedback. And I got it. Two very loyal supporters shared their thoughts. Catlady, my main support shared her thoughts. the problem was, the two camps of supports disagreed. I had to listen to both sides, and decide what was best for me. AND IT WAS HARD. I generally want everyone to get along in my personal life and to like me. (I see enough conflict in my profession. Nobody likes their CPS sw.) I was really uncomfortable disagreeing with... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 09:57:19 EST