MRSKATEDUVALL's SparkPeople Blog MRSKATEDUVALL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community He never met a dog he didn't like <BR> Tuesday, February 6, 2018 <BR> He never met a dog he didn't like <BR> RIP Mumford, my little rat dog who thought he was a cat, thought all dogs were created equal, hated leashes and all things restraint. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I'm writing my lap dog's obituary. He came to use in the spring of 2013, a failed Christmas present who needed a home. I opened up my home and my heart, and my ... Tue, 6 Feb 2018 14:09:10 EST Budgets, Points, Rules, It's the Same thing. Budgets, points, it's all the same thing <BR> I have joined weight watchers. I have a points budget of 35 points a day. I have a budget of so much money each pay period. So why cant I stick to a budget? The one fight I have with my husband, who is a really good guy, apple pie incident outstanding, is about money. His refrain, why cant I stick to a budget? Why do I color outside the lines? Why do I eat brownies, and then pizza? apparently- it's about emotional eating. Yesterday, my big... Mon, 5 Feb 2018 11:29:49 EST to the authors of the comments. Thank you for taking time to read my blog. I tend to blog without boundaries, and say whatever is on my heart. Please, before you tell me to try something, to ditch grains, or read Indygirl story, read my bio. I have not reached the decision for WLS lightly. I, once, felt that same prejudice that you are viewing me. It's a cheaters way out. It will cause problems. How can i violate Gods temple? I have tired every diet, and to the person who doubted I gave it a real try, buck off. I have give... Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:14:53 EST A picture worth a thousand words I didn't need to resort to sending naked pictures to the insurance analyst who denied my need for bariatric surgery. They didn't mean to say that the barriatric surgery wasn't medically necessary, but that I didn't jump through the final hoop. When they say they want you to go through a medically supervised structured program, like Weight Watchers or TOPS, they really mean that. I did the 6 month, hell it's been more like a year alone, creating my own program from the 40 years of experienc... Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:03:06 EST now I appeal <BR> So the very nice case manager from the surgery place called and told me that the insurance has decided that my surgery isn't medically necessary and has declined. My next step is to appeal. I need to write the appeal, and have the surgeon, and all the doctor's write the appeal and wait some more. And I'm going to send pictures. If the insurance company isn't impressed with the fact that my BMI is a 46, and I have three co-morbidity such as type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and card... Sun, 28 Jan 2018 21:25:02 EST life in limbo so while I wait for the insurance to decide that a BMI of 46, and years of desperation diets qualifies for my surgery, I am busy with life. I have a few goals this week. <BR> <BR> 1) work 9-6, be on time, be productive, be happy- watch attitude. <BR> <BR> 2) stick to the plan. 2 shakes, 1 meal. gym <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 3) keep MrskatesPosh active. <BR> <BR> a. Posh errands, go to bank, deposit cash, take check to new hope, delivery to Sara and Caroline <BR> <BR> b. go live with a mas... Mon, 15 Jan 2018 21:05:13 EST recap, what a week A recap and update.. <BR> Well- if I was to recreate a version of Hell and Hades, I would, like Dante, create different levels. And on one level you would have a medical need, and a anonymous bureaucrat from a distant city would have to approve or deny the medically necessary and available treatment. I am in that level of Hell. The insurance has denied my surgery. The provider, my surgeon's office , thinks that it's a simple clerical error. One of the hoops to jump through is a medically mana... Sun, 14 Jan 2018 13:16:03 EST neuro-pyscho-babble and food I survived the weekend, and today marks 10 days til surgery. I need to do a clarification post. My husband is not a bad guy. He is supportive in his own way, after all he is paying my medical bills. He is a terrific father, a great daycare provider, but a lover of change he is not, and this is one huge change. We bonded over food. Some of our first dates were eating popcorn and watching TV. I used to show my love by making great meals, full of carbs and oozing cheese So, what do you do when y... Mon, 8 Jan 2018 22:25:52 EST Food Dreams I'm grieving. I'm grieving my relationship with food, and how it is changing. During the day, my rational mind is in control, and I drink my shakes, and drink my water, and my tea and my broth and I am good, centered. I night I dream of eating lunch at my favorite deli, Red Door Cafe and having a Reuben and a bowel of soup. That's not going to happen for a very long while and not in the quantity as before. I dream of the girls from work going out for lunch, and now, me staying back and workin... Sun, 7 Jan 2018 15:38:16 EST Wow, back at it... I blogged, better than eating your feelings. I have been away for so very long, and there have been some changes. <BR> Ok, so I wont bore you with details of the last week, but the pre-op classes for barriatric surgery went well, and the pre-op colonoscopy helped me to lose 10 lbs over night. I told the Colonoscopy doctor that I was NEVER doing that again, even if there are risk factors. Oh MY, what a long and absolutely horrid night and day!. But I came home, and day 1 of pre-op liguid's s... Sat, 6 Jan 2018 17:26:49 EST what to do? 6/11 <BR> Sunday finds me home alone. Trying to adult, to stick to my program. Listening to my favorite radio station. I am trying to eat keto. Working on laundry and dishes… cooking for the week. Fajitas for lunch. 1) Grilled chicken for the week. 2) Keto fat bombs ( almond and blueberry)3) Grilled veggies.4) Grilled shrimp for dinner 5) Shredded pork loin in crockpot for week.4) Bacon for the week. <BR> I think while the dishes and laundry are running, I m going to read a book and cons... Sun, 11 Jun 2017 15:38:05 EST where have I been? June 3, 2017. <BR> Despite my best intentions, I haven’t journalled in forever, and haven’t blog longer than that. My weight loss journey, my journey to health continues, and I found myself at a seminar for weight loss surgery. Listing all that I have tried was illuminating. The consistent theme? I gave up. So I write today, that I am back. I am following a keto diet, I have to give up caffeine, alcohol and carbonation, I am joining water aerobics and started to walk again. All the lesso... Sat, 3 Jun 2017 11:01:15 EST Life in recovery, it's 5 AM. <BR> 8/19/2016. So today is Big Jake’s last day, tomorrow we take him to college, 7 hours away. I am up way to early, buzzing with things to do. Things for Jake- like does he have all the house stuff he needs packed? Things for Posh- need more labels, driving to the daycare to get labels, out of catalogs, wish the orders would come in. Things for self care- restocked meds, Sparked, doing laundry for my weekend. After we drop Jake of, and get him settled, Cynthia and I are driving to Linco... Fri, 19 Aug 2016 08:13:21 EST Life in recovery; therapy and step 3. 8/8/2016. <BR> Life in recovery; therapy and step 3. <BR> I had therapy yesterday. We talked about balance, and step work and I tried to bull my way through without going deep. She called my bluff. We then talked about step three, the turning your will over to the Higher Power. I admitted that I feel very distant from my Higher Power, that the conversation has been pretty rote for a while. Church has seemed to evolve into legalism and politics, and I have lost a sense of spiritual growt... Tue, 9 Aug 2016 09:48:29 EST August Goals what happened to July goals? my last goalie blog was about May to June. July flew by as I worked recovery, had some holidays, worked alot and started a side business. <BR> Weight- My plan was to continue the downward trend, but I went up and down, and finally stayed the same, mainly for the cheating. I resolved to track my cheating better, to get a handle on when and where so I can problem solve. So, anything that is not on program goes into the snack 3 category for logging. Staying paleo, ... Sun, 31 Jul 2016 12:46:33 EST life in recovery, balance Recovery for me, has to be about balance. When my life is unbalanced, I feel the compulsion to eat, and this past week has been unbalanced. While my day job continues, and will be there for the next 13 years, ( I got my 20 year certificate last week), it doesn’t fund me. So I started a direct sales gig. So far, I have spent $200, and made less than $20. But it has consumed me. The urge to make my first sale goal was intense, and I ate. Just nibbles here and there, mostly protein but still it... Sun, 31 Jul 2016 12:35:52 EST life in recovery, truth Reality hits me in the face. So, earlier this week, I went to my OA meeting, and a person there shared some things that set wrong with me. I know that not everyone I will meet in my recovery life is as educated about addiction in a book way as I am. I have LOTS of book life. And in this stereotype, I personify. There is something about bedtime that triggers eating, and it is probably rooted in trauma. My reaction to the speaker was one of anger, and knowledge, and I know, from my professional... Sun, 24 Jul 2016 12:32:04 EST life in recovery, it is what it is. 7/20. Life in recovery; It is what it is, learning step three. <BR> Today was the day of the big doctor appointment, the day where I was to learn the test results and come up with a plan. I was hoping that today was the day where I would get a pat on the back for doing everything I could think of to deal with chronic pain, and learn an effective treatment. When I started this adventure, my clinical marker was 18, which isn’t in the scary zone, and I had pain, but I could still get around. ... Wed, 20 Jul 2016 19:54:28 EST life in recovery, it is what it is. 7/20. Life in recovery; It is what it is, learning step three. <BR> Today was the day of the big doctor appointment, the day where I was to learn the test results and come up with a plan. I was hoping that today was the day where I would get a pat on the back for doing everything I could think of to deal with chronic pain, and learn an effective treatment. When I started this adventure, my clinical marker was 18, which isn’t in the scary zone, and I had pain, but I could still get around. ... Wed, 20 Jul 2016 19:54:28 EST life in recovery, step 2. AS I awake today, I pray the awakening thoughts. Pray that I be divorced from self pity, and dishonesty, and self seeking motives. I can employ my brain, knowing that God gave it to me to use, I pray that I use my talents for good, I think about indecision, and ask for God’s intuitiveness, for inspiration . I “relax and take it easy”. I go over the day ahead- my interactions with my co-workers, my work product, my interactions with Cynthia. I ask that it by God’s will that I do, that I s... Wed, 20 Jul 2016 19:52:39 EST life in recovery; anxiety and the 4th of July. July 4th <BR> the Lord wants us to be at peace, and the closer we are to Him, the more peaceful we feel. Peace is a good indicator that our actions are pleasing to Him. On the other hand, a persistent lack of peace typically indicates that the Lord is trying to get your attention. Give Him that attention, and He will show you what's up! <BR> -from Faith, Hope & Clarity <BR> Happy Independence Day, which is ironic because I am learning it's about Dependence, on something NOT me to handle this.... Mon, 4 Jul 2016 16:37:20 EST Life in recovery, more on step one. I am working my way through the Step Guide, and continue to read and ponder Step One. I am coming to terms with my addiction. Step One; that I am powerless over from addiction to food, and my life has become unmanageable. One of the questions is how has my addiction or disease affected me. I am obese. I have type 2 diabetes, which is mostly controlled by diet, and some pretty expensive medication. Because of my chronic ailments, I have frequent doctor appointments. All of this is expensiv... Tue, 28 Jun 2016 08:53:53 EST life in recovery, relapse Life in recovery, relapse <BR> Sometimes, what seem like hardships in our lives are the greatest blessings — we only need to change our perspective. In Isaiah we read: “We are the clay, you are the potter.” God is our potter, shaping and making us the finest we can be. Let’s rest easy and be blessed knowing we are in the finest hands.. Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein. <BR> So I survived the family gathering, but not intact. I did fine until my brother handed me a beer. And then when I woke up Friday,... Sat, 25 Jun 2016 16:54:24 EST Life in recovery, Family gatherings. Life in recovery; family gatherings. <BR> Last week, I avoided a social gathering because I couldn’t be around food choices and alcohol and be sane. This week, I have to attend a family gathering where there will be food choices and alcohol and lots of options for emotional eating. My anxiety will be high. The first hurdle is traveling for 8 hours. I packed fresh fruit, lunch meat, carrots and celery. I have no control over the rehearsal dinner so will just enjoy a meal that I didn’t ha... Wed, 22 Jun 2016 10:22:13 EST Step One. Abstinence, recovery, step one. <BR> <BR> I declared myself food sober, paleo November 15, and fell harder. Looking back at the journal entries makes me sad. Why can I not follow through with a plan? Last week, I went to my first OA meeting as an adult. I downloaded the OA app, and put in my abstinence date as of last Tuesday, June 7. According to the app, I am 8 days food sober. Do I trust this? Can I really say that? I know I fell and ate cookies and doughnuts. But that was a relaps... Sat, 18 Jun 2016 14:32:57 EST why do I blog? Why do I blog? <BR> I am reading a book about boundaries, that psycho babble term for interpersonal definition between oneself and the world. All my adult life I have been told I have bad boundaries, and it’s been the topic of discussion of much therapy, how having poor definition of self relates to a food addiction. Parts of the book are hard to read, and I have to walk away; the part of skin being are primal boundary, and those who have a history of trauma find boundaries a hard thing, Th... Thu, 2 Jun 2016 07:44:58 EST May to June... May goal wrap up, looking at June. <BR> Ended weight . - My plan was to continue the downward trend, but I went up and down, and finally stayed the same, mainly for the cheating. I resolve to track my cheating better, to get a handle on when and where so I can problem solve. So, anything that is not on program goes into the snack 3 category for logging. Staying paleo, with no grains, no dairy, low carb really keeps me from the nighttime cravings. I started some aromatherapy, to help me sl... Tue, 31 May 2016 22:45:48 EST Rounding up May. May 28, 2016 <BR> I do not fit any patterns, so say the experts. Yesterday, I had my round of specialty doctor appointments. See, the first of May was Bloomsday, which was marvelous, and I walked 10 miles at a 24 minute mile. The Tuesday after Bloomsday, I got a tick bite. I started a new anti-inflammatory supplement. The first few days I felt great, but then my knee, just the left one started to hurt, in a non-fibro kind of pain. The rest of the month I felt awful, my knee hurt so bad I mos... Sat, 28 May 2016 11:55:49 EST MAY! I finished April, with my Son's track meet. I am posting a picture, he threw the school record in Hammer, 125 feet. <img src=""> He then dropped me off at my hotel and hurried home for prom. I started my self care weekend. <BR> <BR> I started May with my big fitness event, Bloomsday, which is a 12 k community walk. I did a 24 minute mile, with an extended potty break, 2 otter pop breaks, and some chatting of pe... Tue, 3 May 2016 13:24:38 EST it's time for the number round up I have a fasting bllod draw today, and the then the follow up appointment on may 3 with my primary doc. The deal was, when I went off my two horrid meds ( cholestrol and an injection med for blood sugar) that my numbers would stay good for the next three month period. Here is a list of my fitness numbers,and the goals associated with them. <BR> <BR> Numbers I want… where I am now, what I aim for and how to get there….. <BR> Weight 284 goal 150 <BR> BMI 44. Goal 24. <BR> Waist to Height ... Fri, 29 Apr 2016 09:01:49 EST Marching into Spring goals. Start weight 281. - 5% weight loss since 1/6/2016. My plan to continue the downward trend. <BR> 1) Meal plan: modified Whole 30, I am not so vigilant about hidden sugars, like bacon cured with sugar, and some honey in a recipe. No dairy, No grains, No obvious sugars. No soy. No legumes. limited nuts. <BR> 2) Movement: walk on workday mornings,.We added yoga, and some body movement exercises to the morning routine. Do 15 minutes in wellness room 2x a workday. extended walks on weekends. ... Tue, 1 Mar 2016 12:03:58 EST February goals review.. I can't believe that it's the end of February. <BR> February Goals review <BR> Start weight 284. End weight? 281. - 5% weight loss since 1/6/2016. <BR> 1) Meal plan: Whole 30, except for 2/9 ( fat tuesday or mardi gras). tracking in Spark. I did well until the last two days. The chocolate cake at work did me in, starting cravings and I ate off plan for Thursday and Friday. Today, I am back on plan. <BR> 2) Movement: walk on workday mornings,. I tried, but some mornings, it just didn’t wor... Sat, 27 Feb 2016 13:03:46 EST Dr. Andrew Weil's Optimal Health, my experience When I started reading the book, it was with the idea that I would follow the course until my end date of my nutritional program. ( April 30) What I found is that I am doing most of the program now, and can easily incorporate the ideas, fully, into my program now. It is the spiritual aspects that I found I was missing from my program. I am going to recommit to faith group on Tuesday, and use the quiet time for written prayer. I realize that the book was written almost ten years ago, but it ... Sat, 27 Feb 2016 12:51:22 EST life in recovery, February goals. Start weight 284. <BR> 1) Meal plan: Whole 30, except for 2/9 ( fat tuesday or mardi gras). tracking in Spark. <BR> 2) Movement: walk on workday mornings, finish off 10,000 steps on treadmill. Do 15 minutes in wellness room 2x a workday. Yoga on Saturday mornings. rest day Sunday. <BR> 3) Have a life; Jazz night, faith group, out of town trips for work and the college search. staying in budget. <BR> Sun, 31 Jan 2016 20:08:37 EST Life in recovery, january wrap up. Start weight was 294. <em>192</em> I finished the month at 284. <em>192</em> 10 pounds. <em>345</em> I am ecstatic. <em>224</em> <BR> My January goals were to 1) follow whole30. Pack my lunch/ snacks. Preplan Dinner with whole 30 approved meals.. I stuck to the whole30 plan by daily tracking on Spark people, eating breakfast each day, preparing lunch each morning, and having a planned dinner. I marked each day with a sticker, and have stickers on all but three days. I am stil... Sun, 31 Jan 2016 20:03:27 EST life in recovery, the fall from program.... 1-23-2016. <BR> I am alone this weekend, the Mr. and baby are at winter camp, and the big is off working his muscles for money- helping somebody move. I have done the chores; feed the fish, dogs and cats, did dishes, laundry so now I am in front of the computer, with the radio on and I can ponder my thoughts. <em>24</em> My dreams were about being maligned by my mom, that she was choosing the other kids,my siblings, that the other kids fit in better than I did. I woke with that heavy hea... Sat, 23 Jan 2016 18:26:46 EST Life in recovery, the ordinary. 1-10-2016. Today’s quotes are all about the little things. The ordinary things. The little steps that add up to big change. So today, I am focusing on life, found in the little spaces. I was up WAY TO EARLY, and did last nights dishes. I Sparked, and meal planned and made the grocery list. After Mass this morning, I will shop. This afternoon, I will do the meal prep for the week. Corn beef and cabbage by request in crock pot. I am on day 5 of my whole30, and I feel great. I wish I could sl... Sun, 10 Jan 2016 09:20:10 EST Life in recovery, a new start date, a new year.... So I decided, with a little nudge from the doctor back in December at the quarterly appointment, to try a little more structure to the diet. I start a Whole30 on 1/6/2016. I am excited, I like the premise- eat from this list. Don't eat from this list. Santa brought me the book, and I have been doing the preparation. <BR> <em>521</em> One of which is to make some if/then statements. <BR> My if /then plan. <BR> Lunch Plans: If my co-workers give me a hard time about not going to lunch, th... Sat, 2 Jan 2016 14:04:00 EST facing 2016. I've been dealing with weight issues my whole life, and chronic health conditions for a while. I find the solution, hard won lesson after decades of trying, is a daily battle, filled with healthy steps. Some days I fall, but I always pick myself back up. <BR> * 2000 Diagnosed with TYPE 2 Diabetes. Gave birth to youngest son. Weight was 250lbs. <BR> * 2004, had a total hip replacement. Doctor told me to lose 50 lbs. I ignored him. Weight was 250 lbs. <BR> * for 2004-2011 years, I tried eve... Fri, 25 Dec 2015 09:15:55 EST life in recovery, an unsupportive spouse How do you deal with a non supportive spouse was the theme of a message board I was reading, and I paused, and thought a bit and started blogging. Because I am conflicted about this. On my right hand, I think IT IS MY HOUSE, and MY KITCHEN, my health, my meal plan and I admit that I am addict, so I don’ t want it around. I don’t want it in my house, my kitchen, my reach. SO I DON”T. I don’t buy it. If I was an alcoholic, they wouldn’t bring me beer, and when I said, I am sober now, they woul... Sat, 28 Nov 2015 19:13:49 EST life in recovery, day 15. November 27. <BR> The big meal is over. I had to leave the gathering, too much food and if I didn’t leave, I was going to dive into banana pudding cream cake. I walked out, as is I broke, and had a COSTCO pumpkin roll slice. But the company was good and I was a little aggravated that my urges had me walking out the door. Will there come a day when I can stand next to a table of desserts, and not feel compelled and obsessed to eat them all? Then came day 2, where we all gather, again, and eat... Sat, 28 Nov 2015 15:19:43 EST life in recover, day #12, November 25,2015.. I have a very large extended family, who all gather for Thanksgiving at Great Grandma’s house. About 90 of us when we are all there, but these year, it will be quieter, only about 50. Dinner is at 1, a buffet style with sit down at the table, complete with wine glasses and cloth napkins. I have learned that if I am going to eat in any way healthy, paleo, diabetic friendly, I need to bring my own food. So even though I don’t host thanksgiving, I am going to be cooking, just... Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:37:48 EST life in recovery, day #11 November 18, 2015 <BR> Recovery is supposed to be about healthy, and here I am, coughing up green crap. <BR> November 24, 2015 <BR> Still sick, but now I think it’s more reparation. Work is covered, and I have some healing to do so I am staying home. Today’s thought: “I discovered that my sins had created a spiritual racket that drowned out the gentle whispers of God to my soul; God had never actually abandoned me, but I needed repentance and sacramental grace to reawaken all that was good an... Tue, 24 Nov 2015 13:03:54 EST life in recovery, day #4 November 16, 2015 <BR> Today’s musing have all been about self worth. My supervisor told me during my evaluation that she sees me as having low self esteem. Is the weight a symbol of low self esteem? My personal philosophy is that I am a unique creation, we all are, we are all amazing. Rabbi Eckstein states ”However, when we recognize that we are a unique, indispensable part of God’s creation, deliberately brought to life at this very time in history, then we are naturally catapulted into... Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:28:46 EST Life in recovery, Boundaries. The fabulous Dr. E has asked that I focus on boundaries. I have come under fire at work for having "BAD boundaries" I counter that I have an open, rather than a closed system of boundaries. Ruminations on boundaries are below. Part of the exercise if figuring out how my :"open system" contributes to my addictions. <BR> <BR> OPEN Boundaries. I share about my day, and you share about yours. I talk about what bothers me. I talk about what I am struggling with. I seek other’s opinions when ... Sun, 15 Nov 2015 23:33:34 EST Life in recovery, day #3 Hello. I am new , very new to OA, and to be honest, slightly scared. I joined the OA team today. I think about going to meetings, but as we all know, work takes it out of me, and the meetings are on Wednesday, where I am usually dealing with youth group, and dinner, and homework. I think I will stay on-line for now and try meetings in December. It’s not a new concept. When I was in college, a friend introduced me to a OA lady, but I never went to a meeting. My struggles continued, and in... Sun, 15 Nov 2015 15:04:49 EST Life in Recovery, Day #2. So yesterday was a success, except for exercise. My partner in crime is down with wrist surgery, and I am not up to it alone. Is that an excuse? Part of recovery is stripping down to the honest below the excuse.There was not enough time in the day. to spark, meal pack and get to work early. I will have to get up earlier. but back to the success... under calories, two snacks, no eating after bedtime. stayed paleo. day 1. <BR> While I was at work yesterday, I talked with my friend about OA.... Sat, 14 Nov 2015 13:52:30 EST Life in Recovery, Day #1 I am starting by defining my parameters. Boundaries are a whole other therapeutic exercise, which I will do next blog, but today I am focusing on My food boundaries, and what characteristics and lifestyle choices I need to support those boundaries. I had asked my spark people friends the question to get me started. I ask my special friend for input and had a wonderful conversation. So here goes, my template for life in recovery. <BR> FOOD boundaries: <BR> Life in recovery is teaching me t... Fri, 13 Nov 2015 10:30:26 EST Fill in the blank: I know have had a good workout when: I would say anything counts here. I have been a slug since the weather turned cold and I don't like walking in the cold dark morning. I need to re-think. I could re-vamp the green room and do work out DVDs. That's my new fitness goal. Mon, 9 Nov 2015 15:44:01 EST Lazy Sunday I am sitting with mumford Sun, 8 Nov 2015 19:24:32 EST