MRSKATEDUVALL's SparkPeople Blog MRSKATEDUVALL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Five words or less I am very tired. My for words as directed by spark coach about how I feel today. Thu, 26 Mar 2015 21:24:05 EST Do it anyway, I did it. day 3 of 100 Good morning Spark friends. today finds me very tired but I got up to spark anyway. That was one of my lessons from sparkland yesterday. Just do it anyway. <BR> <em>252</em> SPARK COACH asked me about my bucket list; what's on it and what can I do today to capture it? It's all about exotic hiking. Pacific trail, Appalachian trail, grand canyon. To capture this theme this week, I will plan a hike for Saturday. I passed a trail head on my travels yesterday that would be fun to hike again. ... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 13:40:42 EST Welcoming the Spring Rain. Hello Sparkers. here is how it's shaping up in my Sparkworld. <BR> <em>252</em> SPARK COACH today was about motivation and it addressed an underlying fear. I had two good days, and have all intentions and purposes planned to have a third, making it a streak. My fear- tha tmy motivation and drive wont last. I have such a big long term goal ( to lose 134 lbs by 12/11/2017 when I turn 50) that I often lose a sight. 142 weeks, to lose 1 lb a week, is a long time. So I have short term goals... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 08:49:36 EST Three good things. For a while now, I have been journaling about three good things that have happened or that I am grateful about for that day. Today, spark coach directed me to blog my three good things. 1) my daughter. She is home for spring break. 2) catlady and our Daily walks. 3) my boss. She has been really supportive this week. Mon, 23 Mar 2015 19:11:24 EST Three good things. For a while now, I have been journaling about three good things that have happened or that I am grateful about for that day. Today, spark coach directed me to blog my three good things. 1) my daughter. She is home for spring break. 2) catlady and our Daily walks. 3) my boss. She has been really supportive this week. Mon, 23 Mar 2015 19:11:24 EST I hate the scale, and other tidbets. <em>46</em> Because I had a spectacularly healthy day yesterday, I expected the scale to move. It did, but in the wrong direction.! LOL. Looking over my food log, I think it was the trail mix I discovered hidden in a cupboard. I tried to measure it out, but went back for seconds. <BR> <em>252</em> I am up early to Spark, do self care, start the day. I have had my morning juice and meds, did my med box for theweek, and have been sparking. I am waiting for the children to wake before I ... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 11:20:51 EST Finally, a blog update from the authentic Kate. Good day Sparkers. It's the weekend, and I finally have time to blog. Besides checking in with my favorite topics, I want to update on my therapy session and the search for the Authentic Kate. <BR> <em>252</em> SPARK COACH Was about rebooting, taking one step forward, when you have taken two steps back. I was to pick two ways you can go forward. today, I picked going on a walk ( 82 minutes) and re-reading my blog to see where I have come. and I think I have come far. No longer am I i... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 17:00:53 EST Wirlwind.... First I was sidelined by a cold, otherwise known as a upper respiratory infection. It took till Sunday before I felt human and non-zombie. Then I was swamped with work. In between appointments, meetings and travel, I had therapy. I have much to report, as well as updates on my challenges but right now I have to go to work. I will blog more updates later. <BR> <BR> Have a great day, Sparkers. Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:59:17 EST Not a fraud, the authentic kate I am a food addict. I binge eat. I do this in response to emotions, such as stress, anxiety. I do this because it’s preprogrammed. I dislike deprivation. If given a choice between two foods, I choose both of them so I am not deprived of one. I find that the urge to eat will overpower the desire to be healthy. I’ve been struggling with this for a long time. I pay the consequences of my choices with long term chronic health issues. I am a low energy person. I dislike getting out of bed... Tue, 10 Mar 2015 12:24:58 EST I am a fraud. I've hit the lowest low. I have been off program. for days. Each day, I start anew, stating I am going to do it today. then I nibble, or nibbling goes to biting, biting goes to a whole meal, and pretty soon I've gone non-paleo, and I am eating with abandon. I tell myself, it's ok, it's just one.. and I track it. those numbers don't lie. I have not hit my calorie differential in days. I spark, write out good plans, and THEN I DON'T FOLLOW THEM. And last night, I involved my children in my dysfunctional eating.... Mon, 9 Mar 2015 15:40:07 EST NEW PICS! So last week, I hit 279. this is a thirty pound loss, with a 10% weight loss in. to celebrate, I took new pics and brought out my reward CHARM bracelet. <img src=""> <img src="">.. I am sad that I gained weight this week, and didn't hold on to the 10%, but today is a new day, tomorrow is a new week, and I am focusing on the little steps. today, I am in control. Sat, 7 Mar 2015 17:49:30 EST day 65, day of rest. I am depressed. Overwhelmed. I feel fat. Fat is a feeling. I turned to sparkpeople, and read a post about someone who is grateful for the new day, the new opportunity. What a nice attitude. I read sparkcoach, and the message was to be kind to myself. I will be kind to myself. Even though my weight is up, my calorie differential was way off, and I feel fat, I will be kind to my self. I will stick to program, because that makes me feel better. I will do small healthy steps, like cleaning ... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 14:27:55 EST Day 63... time has slipped away. I cant believe that it's been a week since I blogged. time has just slipped by. I had a sideline of three days where I stayed in bed with the fuzzy blanket, kitties and hot tea. ( cramps). <em>527</em> I bounced back Monday night, and went to bootcamp. <em>318</em> Food wise, i have been really good, started to nibble a bit last night. Doing the calorie differential, and tracking everything really stops nibbling in its tracks. I wondered why my weight was up this morning, then I pu... Thu, 5 Mar 2015 11:47:30 EST Finding My true voice, day 57, lesson 17. So I posted a decision I was considering, wanting feedback. And I got it. Two very loyal supporters shared their thoughts. Catlady, my main support shared her thoughts. the problem was, the two camps of supports disagreed. I had to listen to both sides, and decide what was best for me. AND IT WAS HARD. I generally want everyone to get along in my personal life and to like me. (I see enough conflict in my profession. Nobody likes their CPS sw.) I was really uncomfortable disagreeing with... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 09:57:19 EST Day 55, up early... My cats are driving me crazy. They woke me at 4 am, by nibbling on my check to be feed. Now they are trying to become one with the printer while I type. welcome to the day. But it will be a good one. I learned a very important lesson yesterday. I have to eat during the day, snacks are mucho importante. I finished the day, after having a protein shake for dinner, with a -1200 calorie deficit. Some of that was from the killer work out, but most was because I skipped both snacks, and was... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 09:40:13 EST Day 53. thinking of trying Herbalife. Any feedback? Good morning Sparkers, I hope this wonderful Sunday finds you well. Like my kitties, I want to be outside in the sunshine. I have a walk to work planned, with a nice long hill thrown in. Here is how it shaped up in Sparkland. <BR> <em>189</em> SPARK COACH was about Plateaus. My number one tool for busting a plateau is to weigh and measure food. <BR> <em>189</em> By the Numbers team differential challenge, with a -500 calorie deficit. While i was over the calorie range yesterday, I... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 11:35:00 EST Today is day 52. Good morning and day to you fellow sparkers. Today I am awake, sparking and planning the day. <BR> <em>189</em> SPARK COACH was about the criss cross effect. I know that when I am on program, I am more organized, my house is cleaner. I know when I am eating right, my blood sugar is better, I feel better and I can exercise. When I exercise, my blood sugar is better. When my blood sugar is better, I feel better. <BR> <em>189</em> By the Numbers team differential challenge, with a -500 ... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 11:41:53 EST 50 days of tracking. Today is day 50. I am gearing up for lent, which will be 40 days to really focus on my program. Lent is both giving up ( processed foods, sweets, sleeping in) and taking up ( paleo, 3 fruits a day, morning routine). I saw a great slide show about this concept, which is what gave me some ideas. <BR> <link><BR>ow.asp?show=62 </link> <BR> <BR> Today in Sparkland: <BR> <em>249</em> SPARK COACH. today, Dr. Birdie talked about will power. I admit th... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 11:11:35 EST Day 47, day 8, day 1.. whose counting? I have been off program for four days. Everywhere I turned, there was food and food pushers. Every move I made, I hurt. partly from boot-camp, and partly from a med lapse. I checked in each day, planned my calories, and then ate whatever was in front of me. I went to bed last night determined to stop the slide. The number one reason I haven't lost weight? I cheat, and cheat meals turn into cheat days, which can turn into weeks. NOT TODAY. <BR> <BR> So today I am home, doing laundry, s... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 14:39:08 EST Happy Valentine's day, day 45. <em>524</em> Last time I blogged, I was planning on going to fitness Bootcamp. It just about killed me. Three days later, and my legs are still sore from the multiple squats, mountain climbers, lunges. <em>318</em> WOW. I am planning to go back, even though CATLADY tells me that it was just half pace, and we did a lot of standing around. <em>321</em> Monday, the day I go back, they will weigh and measure me. I am not going to freak about the numbers, they will just be starting poin... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 13:47:08 EST Day 42. Up early to Spark. my cats decided that is was time to get up at 4:11 AM, instead of 5:05. So I am up, tea in hand to spark. <em>524</em> I am thinking about my attitudes. last night's 100 days lesson was to cultivate a just do it attitude. Spark-coach echoed this. Words of wisdom from Coach Nicole: "You have to learn how to change "all or nothing" into "something (anything!). You create success by doing the best you can with the individual decision or task that's right in front of you at this moment. Yo... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 08:44:55 EST Welcome to tueday day 41. I am so very tired of being ill, having illness or having to deal with med sick affects. I currently have an UTI, a side effect from a really expensive diabetic med. I have drank my calories in cranberry juice, have gotten meds from the pharmacy. I plan to spend the day drinking fluids. <BR> In Sparkland: <BR> <em>189</em> SPARK COACH. I am to blog about how I would know I was healthy if the scale doesn't exist. I would be healthy, I would not need meds to manage my illness or the... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:40:17 EST Day 39, sunday prep. Yesterday, I blogged while using sparkcoach in the car, traveling to wrestling tournament out of town and lost it when the signal died. the day went down hill from there. Food pushers, bad options, eating out of boredom, heart burn, bleachers but and a REALLY long day. I tracked it all and woke early, with an upset stomach and a plan to get to back together. today, I am cleaning, sitting with my kiitties, and cooking for the week. I am also fitting in some strength training, tai chi and ... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 10:42:43 EST Lesson Learned, I need my meds. Day 37. I first noticed it Saturday, a queasy anxious hyper feeling. Sunday, it had progressed to nausea, I didn't keep dinner down, and was ready to jump out of my skin. I re-filled my med box for the week, and noticed I was out of a fibro/anxiety med. Monday, I was about completely incapacitated. I called the pharmacy. Not eligible for a re-fill till 2/11. I asked about side effects of not having it... yep, nausea, vomiting, headache, body ache, paranoia, anxiety. and oh, they had made a mistak... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 09:28:13 EST February 1st SPARKLAND update. I have 11 bench points that I try for daily. I have spun the wheel, tracked my food and water and my teams. Here is the round up for the day. <BR> <em>189</em> SPARK COACH. today was about diet sabatogers, and food pushers. I have a very large extended family that does not always get my healthy efforts. So today, Spark Coach gave me permission to skip the family event. I didn't have the discipline to face the all you can eat potato bar and nacho extravaganza. So i stayed home. I've ... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 20:45:52 EST goodbye january, hello february. day 32 The weather is dreary. Cold, but not so cold. Wet, but not snowing, raining. Just gray and dreary. It's the perfect example of February. As January wrapped up, I wanted to re-visit my january goals, and see how I've done. <BR> <em>249</em> My January goals were : "exercising four days a week while staying within my given calorie range, with a calorie deficit of -500 each day, walk or treadmill 10,000 steps a day, for about 300 minutes a week. At the end of each week, I was to make a... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 20:11:38 EST day 31..short blog today. I have a busy day planned in the physical world. Here is life in Sparkland. <BR> 1) SPARK COACH - today was about changing up work out. My plan- to add hills to the daily walk. <BR> 2) By the Numbers team differential challenge, with a -500 calorie deficit. I was a tad under goal last night, but did not binge. <BR> 3) by the numbers walking challenge, using my SPARK ACTIVITY TRACKER. I don't think anyone else is tracking their steps. bummer of a challenge. <BR> 4) TEN MINUTES a day ch... Sat, 31 Jan 2015 12:23:05 EST day 30.. Dealing with a source of Stress... I am home from work today, I took a sick day to deal with a source of stress. <em>227</em> <em>230</em> My frigging unclean, messy and unkempt house. So far, I have loaded the dishes, starting to detrash the house, done two loads of laundry. Today's goal is to get my dinning room, kitchen counters and floors back to usable states. <em>386</em> <BR> <em>15</em> I can't credit the stress of the house to my last night's binge, still dealing with rebellion. Catlady and a SPARKblog... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 13:57:57 EST Day 29, the spirit of rebellion lives on. Good morning. there is a disconnect between my words, my thoughts and my actions. I blogged last night before bed, about a day binge and how I rescued the day. I went to bed, finished my Women, Food, God book.( WFG) Decided to commit to her eating guidelines and went to sleep. To wake up about two hours later, and ate peaches, cookies and milk. Is compulsion a feeling? I did track it, I have been really consistent with tracking, but my weight isn't going to come off if I don't STOP BING... Thu, 29 Jan 2015 09:51:06 EST DAY 28, a day of rest, temptation and rescue. It's the end of my day. I overslept, didn't walk, didn't pack a lunch or snack bag and zoomed to work. It was a desk day, and while I got up to stretch and walk every hour or so, I struggled with boredom. the tediousness of paperwork sent me spiraling. It was Wednesday, which means somehow brings soup for lunch to share. Today's offering was white chicken chili. Yummy, but mostly broth,and by 2 I was hungry, and tired of fighting temptation. ( see earlier blog). Because of my poor plan... Wed, 28 Jan 2015 22:02:15 EST Resisting temptation I want a hamburger. I think. I'm not actually hungry, I've had lunch but I am bored. I don't have to right shoes to walk, and I've decided to tell myself it's to cold to leave the building and get that burger. I decided to use spark coach to get me through the next few minutes of temptation. I will go back to my desk work, temptation conquered. Wed, 28 Jan 2015 16:12:15 EST Day 27. It's going to be a good day! I started today off right with a walk to Starbucks. It's going to be a really good day. I did not have such a great night, ate with abandom. Not really sure I can identify the feeling. I was just compelled to eat. We don't have much in the house, so I ate yogurt, Nuts, fruit. All primal. I finish the day in calorie range, but did not make my deficit goal. I think I need to eat more during the day. My walk this morning rescued the day. I have spun the wheel and checked in with my tea... Tue, 27 Jan 2015 13:06:00 EST Day 26, data collection and daily wrap up. My morning schedule was thrown off by two things; my husband didn't go to work, he had a dentist appointment, and my son didn't go to school ( he pleaded sick).. so I jammed to work without sparking. I got caught up after work. <BR> <BR> * data collection. I did it. I spend most of my day sitting. I did two bathroom strength training routines. When we get our new building, I wonder if they can put my desk so I have to stand, or if I should get a ball and sit on it while at the computer ... Mon, 26 Jan 2015 21:44:46 EST Data Collection, Day 25. <em>249</em> This week I am starting a new project. As I sparked today, a theme of tracking and data collection came up. <em>189</em> The first sign was a blog about mindfulness, and I copied the following into my sparking journal: <BR> "When was the last time you ate a meal without multitasking?" <BR> <em>189</em> The second sign pointing to data collection was yesterdays spark coach comment about activity, and I copied into my sparking journal the following: <BR> "Take an i... Sun, 25 Jan 2015 09:45:23 EST Counting the produce on day 24 #small changes action plan was to get at least 5 produce in and tracked. I think I can top that. <BR> <BR> breakfast- spinach, mango, orange juice <em>368</em> <em>106</em> 3 servings. <BR> Lunch tuna salad with celery, carrots, radish, pepper, cucumber, tomato- 3 servings. <em>551</em> <BR> Dinner: sweet potato fries, Brussel sprouts, spinach. 3 servings. <em>210</em> <BR> <BR> total of 9. Sat, 24 Jan 2015 23:28:47 EST Day 24.. Hooray! 19 years ago I gave birth to my princess. Celebrating this will have to wait until next weekend due to payday and other commitments. I envision a spa pedi, and a nice lunch out on Saturday. <em>236</em> <em>383</em> <BR> <BR> Today.... I missed two days to blog. Thursday and Friday i was just wiped, and while I tracked, and spark coached, I didn't blog. Her it is Saturday, and I have some time. So far I have <BR> spun the wheel. <em>347</em> <BR> I completed Spark coach- it... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 12:16:41 EST Day 21... begining to build consistency. Yesterday was a travel day, and while I did SPARK on my phone, was not able to blog. Today, I am catching up with some Spark time before I get a blood draw, and make a trek to a new pharmacy. I'm switching all of my meds. It's going to take a while. <BR> <BR> So, I have Logged in, and spun the wheel. <em>347</em> I did Spark Coach. <em>345</em> today is about consistency, which is my biggest goal. Spark Coach states: "When you stick to healthy habits consistently, you'll improve ... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 10:45:19 EST Cleaning My Closet. My closet is huge. It's the size of a small bedroom. It has two closet rods. and that's it. My husband has a 4 drawer dresser. I make do with plastic tubs. The closet space also is the linen closet for my house. I am ashamed to post the before picture. It is a 10X 10 room. Picture it covered in clothes, spilling from their tubs and mounded high. My kitties like to use the back corner for poo, when their catbox is full and they are protesting. I started this morning at 7. Catlady helpe... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 18:37:58 EST Day 19 or 2.... Today, I logged in, and spon the wheeel... <em>347</em> Each time I fall down, and get back up again, I learn something. Last night, I re-learned the lesson that I cant have leftovers in the house. Husband routinely brings home daycare leftovers. I routinely ask him to not, as I eat them in the middle of the night. He says that they are for BIG Jake. I eat them anyway. Last night I ate cold sloppy Joe mix. My blood sugar was not fasting, and very high. <em>527</em> I thought about... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 09:46:22 EST ReBooting my reboot... Day 1. <em>227</em> So It should be day 18, instead It's day 1, again. I fell off program last Saturday. I got into my head, thinking about what I would say at therapy, and then stayed off for a while. I sorta tracked, made my log in spin, <em>347</em> but didn't exercise or track night eating. I gained weight at the weekly weigh in. <em>192</em> I knew it would be a stressful work week, and it was. I spent my time and energy at work, and fell off program with my habits. ( guess they are... Sun, 18 Jan 2015 11:44:10 EST January 10! Good morning! I couldn't sleep last night, sat in the chair for hours. Now I'm trying to fit all my mornings in before BIG Jake's wrestling tournament. <BR> Logged in, still continuing my streak. <BR> Spark Coach- Was about finding my calorie range. Which is interesting because mine just went down. <BR> Numbers- I didn't track my calorie differential because I binged last night. I don"t really know why? <BR> #challenges- smart snackers. I bought a large amount of fruit yesterday, so my... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 12:34:06 EST Day 9.. I'm still here. Well, at the end of the day, I can say it was a good one. But it didn't start out that way. I had two things I needed to acomplish. I have work to-do's, and my boss doesn't think it deserves a day away, but also wont give me overtime.. So I have been intentionally working longer days so I could Flex today. Which makes me tired. My friend wanted me to go to COSTCO, which I enjoy and needed to do.. But she only wants to go on a workday. This puts me in a bind. Once my husband learned I had... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 00:34:25 EST Day 8.. continuing on. Day 8 finds me up an hour early, with a list of to-do's running in my head. and it is day 8, rather than day 2. I decided that my binge on Tuesday night did not cause me to start over. It was one part of a three part plan. I recouped, and pulled it together. Yesterday, while I worked late and was very mind numb, was a great day in terms of my program. Food was within range, exercise was with increased time, and de-cluttering was some maintenance work. <em>380</em> <BR> <BR> Today- ... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 09:07:47 EST Day 7, week one down! I binged last night, so my fasting blood sugar wasn't fastning, it was more like a two hour check.. but it was still high. 350. <BR> <BR> I was up on time, house chores down before Catlady arrived. Went to gym, walked for 30 minutes. Sparking almost done. <BR> 1) By the Numbers team differential challenge, with a -500 calorie deficit. Yesterday I was definatly out of range. So does this blow my re-boot streak? I logged and posted. <em>234</em> <BR> 2) by the numbers walking challen... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 11:43:20 EST The end of Day 6. I am reading a book called Women, Food and God. So far it's about mindfulness, which leads to spirituality. Being fully present in the NOW, so that you stay in the face of whatever comes your way. My usually path when something negative comes my way, when I have need for nurture that no-one is giving, when I am agitated or anxious, is to eat, to turn to food. What I am learning, through therapy and this book, is that sitting in the middle of the need is preferable than the aftermath of bi... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 00:08:35 EST DAY 6 is amazing. So, I sleep a smidge over, but was able to be up, feed the cats and get in exercise clothes before Cyntha arrived. Took thyroid and off to the gym for 23 minutes of treadmill. Once home, I started SPARKING. <BR> <em>345</em> SPARK COACH assignment was to share my fitness goal. My goal board say that I will taic chi every day, for about 30 minutes, and treadmill or walk for 60. I am working up to it. I plan to increase my time walking until BLOOMSDAY, which is 116 days away. <BR> <em>... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 11:35:18 EST Hello.. confused if this is day 4 or 5... In my frantic re=boot, I started different things on different days. I am going to go with day 5.. it's easier if it matches the calendar. <BR> <BR> Good morning. I over sleep a little bit and am now trying to squeeze it all in. <BR> Fasting blood sugar was 225 <em>42</em> <BR> Thyroid med taken with fruit water <em>48</em> <BR> Spark log in. day 17 of my streak. <em>48</em> <BR> Spark coach- i am to look for motivation today. As I traveled today, I listened to Positive Life Radi... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 09:51:45 EST Hello day 3.. lesson learned. Hello day 3 of my re-boot. So far, I have gotten up ( a major feat with a headache) taken my thyroid, made my tea, and settled in to spark. <em>248</em> <BR> 1) log in. Day 16 of my streak <em>248</em> <em>347</em> <BR> 2) spark Coach... my action goal for the day is to shake up my routine a little to avoid burnout. Burnout which occurred last night. The princess had visitors, and she thought that dinner might work. So I made a HUGE pot of Spaghetti, with noodles, sauce and bread f... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 12:40:26 EST Good morning, day 2 I was woken up at 2am by the kitties spilling my bedside water glass. Up again at 6 when the kitties decided it was a work day. It gives me time to Spark. So far I have: <BR> logged in ( day 14 of my streak) <em>248</em> <BR> tested my blood sugar ( day 1 of my streak) <em>248</em> <BR> Checked in with By the Numbers... will resume calorie differential tomorrow. <em>381</em> <BR> Checked in with 8 weeks diabetic challenge. My goal today is to exercise. tai chi and walking. <em>2... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 11:12:00 EST Planning for side steps... I re-joined Spark Coach, thinking I did better on my journey when I was involved fully in the program. Today's action step... planning for the rescue steps. What do I do when I misstep... and with my 25 daily steps, sometimes it's easy to forget one, and misstep... this has come up in therapy before, how I need to work on all or nothing thinking being a thing of the past. I am aiming for progress, not perfection. Take today.. <BR> <BR> I was sidelined by a migraine, didn't walk and called ... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 17:38:45 EST