MRJASON80's SparkPeople Blog MRJASON80's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community It's not the taste, it's the FEELING. Wow, it's been a while since I was last on here. A lot has gone on in my life. I've finally been getting help with PTSD and found out I have type 2 diabetes. Thankfully though it is getting under control. But I wanted to share something with everyone here. <BR> <BR> I was at 412lbs when I was last here. I'm now at 395 (was 389 but I slacked off the last few days). It's so hard to type or write or even say my weight without automatically adding the 4 instead of the 3. In fact, I had to corre... Mon, 19 Sep 2016 16:16:57 EST Anxiety And Stress But Also Hope Just thought I would drop in with an update. I got the job with Wells Fargo and will be starting training on the 26th. I'm glad about that but also worry knowing that I deal with anxiety which also causes depression. At one point in the past I thought I would have to go on disability for it. But wasn't able to get approved even though I had plenty of documentation. <BR> <BR> It isn't fun when your whole body just turns to jelly, you feel like you can't breath, and all you can think about is ... Sat, 10 Oct 2015 09:24:55 EST You may want to try this too! Just thought I would share this idea. Mon, 21 Sep 2015 21:22:35 EST My Experiment Day 1...Making it taste good. I just wanted to share. Fri, 18 Sep 2015 22:21:09 EST Update, We're Still Alive! So much has happened! We have moved from Alabama to California. It's been a wild ride but we are doing our best. Right now we are living with my in-laws until I get work out here (I have an interview on the 22nd so wish me luck). I also wrote a book and it is available online at Barns & Noble as well as But if you want a copy the easiest way for me to help you find it is to simple tell you to go to my site <BR> <BR> But in the area of weight loss I... Thu, 17 Sep 2015 14:19:25 EST My Sin, Ministry, And Weight...Overcoming When you are overweight there are special challenges in ministry. We all have a beam in our eye, but because the overweight preacher has his sin so easily seen many people have a prejudice against him. This can sometimes cause them to tune him out before he even speaks. <BR> <BR> By the way, here is the link to my ministry site: <link> </link> Sat, 30 May 2015 01:57:36 EST Too busy to hang out...but I am still working on it. Yes, I am still around. I don't get on sparkpeople that often. I am actually spending a lot of time looking for work. I have lost some more weight and I just wanted to let you guys know why I may not be too active on this site. WAY too much to keep me busy! Wed, 30 Jul 2014 03:54:55 EST The Food And Sin Connection I have had a change of heart. I had been talking with my wife Tina and she was sharing a Bible passage with me that had really hit home to her. It was found in proverbs. <BR> <BR> Proverbs 4:2-13 <BR> <BR> 2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.3 For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.5 Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neith... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 02:10:42 EST Changing my mind So I am learning more and more as time goes on about myself and they way my mind works. I think I finally have the answer to how to beat this issue of going back to my old ways. I have to change my mind! Here is a study I did in the Bible for you to see what I have found. Basically in order to stop going back to my old ways I have to change my mindset and that is done through hearing the truth with a willing heart and doing the work to get it ingrained into my mind. <BR> <BR> The dog returni... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 13:21:01 EST Learning About Myself Wow, the last few years have done a number...actually life has done a number on me. I have discovered recently so many things about myself. I have admitted some hard truths to myself about my hang ups and problems. I found out that I have a fear of rejection and abandonment. My way of dealing with it is to cut people off and out of my life before they do it to me. That's why it is so easy for me to stop going to sparkpeople...I can cut people out so easily it seems. But it ends up killing me.... Fri, 28 Feb 2014 17:45:44 EST What Does It Take? It's been a long month. Tina just got out of the hospital after spending about 2 and a half weeks in there. She still has to go in every other day while the wounds heal. So we are looking forward to seeing the day she is back to normal. <BR> <BR> On the good side she lost a lot of weight. But as for me....I don't know where I am because the scale doesn't go that high. <BR> <BR> I am feeling it too. My whole body hurts. So I know I need help. I have come to see that SP isn't enough since I... Wed, 31 Jul 2013 19:37:01 EST Dang! Darn! I was doing good today and was 510 calories away from my min. calorie range before dinner. So the plan was to eat out at applebees because they have those 550 calorie meals right? Well we get there and I notice a new item on the menu. The 4 cheese grill. It comes with grilled bread, cheddar, white cheddar, asiago, and parmesan cheese. It also comes with a side of tomato basil soup. Well I figured the whole thing couldn't be more than my max calorie range...I was wrong. Very wrong. <BR> ... Tue, 2 Jul 2013 19:14:45 EST It Is Time To Get Moving I just finished the day out and am still in my range. I am glad about that. So today went well for the journey. We went to the doc for Tina and the doc set her an appointment up for a general surgeon in a couple of days. She tried to make it for tomorrow but couldn't. So it seems the doc thinks surgery is the only option. We asked if she needed to lose weight first but the guy we are seeing is supposed to have done a lot of these things on bigger people. <BR> <BR> So I am thinking she is go... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 22:23:07 EST I Will Lead The Way Well the day is coming to an end. I am not over my calories and tomorrow Tina goes to the doc to get a referral to see a general surgeon. I hope all goes well. I hate to see her in pain. Right now I feel a little anxiety about it. I wish I could help her but can't do much right now. <BR> <BR> I am going to get things in order though. I plan to help both of us stay on track with weight loss. I know it will be hard because I can't say no to Tina and she can't say no to me. But I feel that my G... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 21:31:27 EST A Big I'm Sorry Ok I am back with apologies to everyone for leaving. I have no excuse except that I took a tumble and didn't get back up. Well we found out that Tina has a hernia that needs surgery. But with the weight she is at we can not get it done. That is a huge wake up call. I have been in denial for a few days about it but I am beginning to understand that it is happening. <BR> <BR> I used to think I was superman. I have never really had to go to the doc and not had much in the way of health issues e... Sat, 29 Jun 2013 20:33:21 EST What Keeps You On Track? So I was wondering what keeps everyone else on track... any tips? Mon, 8 Apr 2013 19:30:40 EST Change What I Want I have been avoiding this site for a while now. I don't know why. I just went downhill and gained the weight back. I am at square 1. Back where I started. Did I learn anything? Yep, I learned that I have a hard time keeping things going when all I want is the cheesecake. <BR> <BR> I need to change what I want. Anyone have success with that? Fri, 5 Apr 2013 20:04:13 EST Reality Check Still here Thu, 21 Feb 2013 21:54:03 EST Checking In So a lot has been going on and I have been really stressed. But I am ready to get back into the swing of things. Tue, 12 Feb 2013 12:46:21 EST Day 24: Almost a month So I don't feel up to making a video blog right now. I did stay in my range today though. I have been really tired. I feel like it has been go go go all week. Some days were good and some not so much. <BR> <BR> <em>386</em> Wed, 6 Feb 2013 23:06:33 EST Day 20: A Wash But Tomorrow Is A New Day I really need to get back on a roll...and I don't mean bread. Sat, 2 Feb 2013 21:00:49 EST Day 19: Out To Eat Still in calories yaya!!! Fri, 1 Feb 2013 19:25:31 EST Weigh In Shocker So I am down to 426 even after 3 days off the wagon. Fri, 1 Feb 2013 11:25:14 EST Day 18: Feeling Better So yeah, having a mental illness makes things harder but it can be done! Thu, 31 Jan 2013 18:29:58 EST Day 17: Depression Yep, I guess it's one of those days. Wed, 30 Jan 2013 20:35:10 EST Day 16: What Happened?! So I took a couple days off it seems. But I don't plan on staying off. Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:02:49 EST Day 13: Back On Track So today is going well and I am in my calorie range. We also got in 2 half mile walks. Sat, 26 Jan 2013 19:55:27 EST Day 12 So today went about like yesterday. I am not sure how many calories I took in. I just didn't feel like I wanted to track them after a point. But I am telling myself to get with it right now and going to start again right now. Fri, 25 Jan 2013 22:26:46 EST Weigh In Day #2 So I got on the scale this morning and to my shock only lost 1lb. BUT that is a lb that I will never see again so I am happy about it. I am looking forward to another great day and hopefully getting my computer with the cam fixed. Oh for those who don't like math I am now at 427lb. Fri, 25 Jan 2013 06:22:31 EST Day 11: What Can I Say? Ok so today sucked. I didn't work out and didn't stay in my range. I have a whole list of things that went wrong today including my other computer (the one with the cam) went out on me. So I can't vblog until I can fix it. Today isn't going well. <BR> <BR> But tomorrow is another day right? Thu, 24 Jan 2013 21:50:16 EST Day 10 So everything is going good and we are loving all our SP freinds! Wed, 23 Jan 2013 18:56:28 EST Strange Feelings So I am going to eat a little to find out. Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:04:01 EST Day 9: Eating Out Aint Too Bad So for day nine I am still doing great on my eating and working out. We took a date and went to Applebees today for dinner though. We got their under 550 calorie dinners. It was fun and even though I feel a little guilty about eating out it wasn't bad. We made good choices and I am proud of both Tina and I. Tue, 22 Jan 2013 18:51:11 EST One Day At A Time With God And Weight: Day 8 I didn't expect this to turn into an evangelism message. Mon, 21 Jan 2013 18:53:35 EST Took A Sneek Peek So I am down another 2lbs from friday! The reward wasn't the number on the scale though... it was what caused me to get on the scale. My wife looked at me from the side and went whoa! That was a priceless reward. Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:48:47 EST Day 7... Pizza CAN Be Healthy?! So the pizza wasn't too many calories... I ate 6 slices though and feel really full! It was only 320 calories for 2 slices. That is with all the cheese. I probably should have done less cheese though. I did 1/4th cup on each slice. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I noticed I haven't tracked my water. You may have noticed too. I think I should start. steps. And by the way...keep sparking! Sun, 20 Jan 2013 18:09:03 EST Day 6 Went By Like Chocolate Covered Strawberries Yippy another day down! Sat, 19 Jan 2013 19:17:29 EST Day 5 Of The Rest Of My Life So today went great. Oh and to Pickie98 we went shopping today and yesterday. She was telling me I couldn't get things I was pointing out lol. It was good. But yeah, today went well except I am not in my range. I am a little under it. By a few hundred. I guess I need to work on eating more? I don't know because I am not hungry. Fri, 18 Jan 2013 18:50:47 EST Woohooo Weigh In Day So this isn't my daily recap video but I wanted to share. Fri, 18 Jan 2013 07:05:35 EST Wow Day 4 Already So this is day 4 and everything seems to be going well. I am learning more every day and I am still going! Thu, 17 Jan 2013 19:47:49 EST Day 3 Check In Wow, day three has come and gone now. I haven't had all of my calories AGAIN but I am full. I wish I could say I worked out but today has been one of those busy days when you just can't find the time. Ok so that is an excuse... not a good one huh? Well I will have to try harder tomorow. Wed, 16 Jan 2013 20:08:37 EST Day 2 Lets Try Again Video wouldn't load so I am reuploading this one. If it doesn't work here is a run down on what it was about: <BR> <BR> Today went really well. I stayed in my calorie range and so did Tina. I am so proud of her for sticking to it! We also went for a walk at the mall. So I think today went great. Oh and I passed up the pizza for fish today! Yay me lol! Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:19:20 EST Help Me Lose Weight: Day 1 Not too bad. Mon, 14 Jan 2013 21:24:28 EST Help Me Lose Weight Reply Thanks everyone. I really enjoy the help! Mon, 14 Jan 2013 13:52:11 EST Help Me Lose Weight I posted this to youtube too. Mon, 14 Jan 2013 01:49:18 EST OMG I Weigh THAT MUCH?! So after being away for a while... yet again...I now weigh in at 440lbs! Time to get back on track! Am I ready is the only question. I have started and stopped so many times. I don't want to have a forklift carry my casket to the grave! Can someone here help me somehow to stick with it? <BR> <BR> <em>15</em> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 22:52:51 EST Am I Eating Too Much? I feel like I have eaten a horse today! I took in my range of calories so I should still be ok though. But I am wondering if maybe it is set too high? I never ate this well on a diet before. But last week I lost 3lbs. Maybe I will again. <BR> <BR> <em>38</em> Tue, 18 Dec 2012 20:42:30 EST I Found Another Weakness So today I found another weakness. Italian cream cheesecake. I never tried it till today and had three slices! I am still under my range even after dinner though. So thank God for that! Christmas is on its way. There will be lots of struggle ahead with sweets but I think if I just keep a close eye on it all will be fine. <BR> <BR> <em>446</em> Mon, 17 Dec 2012 19:05:49 EST Almost Maxed Out Wow, what a day. It has been great. I have been in a good mood all day. I did miss church today though but it is ok to miss once in a while. Anyway today is a higher calorie day. I only have 20 left from my max. So I will stop eating right now. <BR> <BR> It is a good thing I am not hungry after dinner. <em>334</em> Sun, 16 Dec 2012 20:14:33 EST I Love SP So today went by really well. I am still 540 calories UNDER my range. I guess I will have to find something to munch on lol. I am not hungry though. So I will try to get by tonight without any more food. If not it will be ok. I am so glad to be doing this SP thing. I believe it will work! <BR> <em>252</em> Sat, 15 Dec 2012 19:32:06 EST