MRE1956's SparkPeople Blog MRE1956's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community leaving spark - permanently This is the real deal - thank you to the persone who complained! (NOT!) <BR> <BR> Wish I could say it's been real, but I'd lie! <BR> <BR> So long! Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:02:23 EST mid-week report Continuing on this damned frustrating journey known as JOB SEARCH - and I'm now at the point where anger, frustration and depression are setting in, BIG TIME...... <BR> <BR> Therefore - until I get something that makes me feel like a legitimate human being again, I will "hunker down" and avoid as much wasteful "social" activities as possible - after all, there's NO sense in hanging around people if your head/heart/mind/"soul" (or at least, what remains of my destroyed "soul") is NOT "feelin'... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 07:58:15 EST angry! Tired of REJECTION! <BR> <BR> Tired of having this intellegent person AT HOME! This is NOT a $#!@@ HOUSEWIFE, DAMNIT! <BR> <BR> Just - plain - TIRED..... <BR> <BR> Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:52:01 EST another week begins...... just crossin' fingers (again!) ........ sigh ...... Mon, 11 Feb 2013 05:47:46 EST blah..... have been dragging a bit this weekend, but did get a "traditional" workout in, at a slower pace and a shorter time than I have been putting in - just one more sign of my down mood taking its toll...... <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Sun, 10 Feb 2013 17:35:16 EST Well, I found Nemo....... ........and pretty much shrugged 'im off....... <BR> <BR> About 6" fell - no power loss (whew!) - I don't technically have to drive around until Monday morning, but went out and cleared the car out anyhow (a psychological boost, if nothing else).....good thing spouse decided to clear out a few additional trees a few weeks ago (frankly I always felt we had too damned many of them - BEFORE Sandy)! <BR> <BR> Ate poorly - damn! <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Off to finish my Sparkin' ... Sat, 9 Feb 2013 13:54:24 EST Nemo..... ....FOUND 'IM! <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>425</em> = <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> For those in his path, please take care and stay safe! Fri, 8 Feb 2013 15:17:54 EST Finding "Nemo"...... How about that, eh? A winter storm named "Nemo"? Personally I'd have chosen that for the hurricane name list ....... whatever........ <BR> <BR> I'm seriously hoping that my area is spared the worst of the whole damned thing - still dealing with freakin' SANDY damage - $#!@# insurance company (among otther nightmare situations) is rapidly making life NOT WORTH LIVING! And this is just ME blogging my vent - this is hitting other folks even harder! Let me tell ya, TWO depressed adults in a... Thu, 7 Feb 2013 05:04:08 EST still pluggin' away..... Still struggling with a LOT of issues, but am at least getting to work out a bit...... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 07:11:21 EST You earn 100,000 Spark Points and whaddya get? Sigh - not a heckuva lot, sad to say..... <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Why, oh why did I waste so much time when I really haven't succeeded? Perhaps life's cruelties could have had a bit to do with it (the last 3 years or so have been especially nasty - and this one's turning out to be no exception) - but really, when it comes down to it, the sad, hard, cold truth of the matter is that...... <BR> <BR> I guess I really didn't have it in me to succeed....... <BR> <BR> Now I'm wonderin... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 13:32:17 EST meh..... Am NOT feeling it socially 2day -- did leave the house briefly, buy did not engage socially (at least to a significant extent, anyhow) of folks went to a game party, so I'm having an enjoyable time at home alone - AWESOME! <BR> <BR> <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> Sun, 3 Feb 2013 17:49:59 EST quiet day so far That is, until a few minutes ago when others get up.......sigh..... <BR> <BR> A little better sleep quality last night - will see how long that'll last - yeah, I know it's a bit on the downer side, but sadly I've had the experience of this not lasting for long.........can't help but wonder if I'd do better, sleep-wise, as a *single*..........sigh....... Sat, 2 Feb 2013 08:39:33 EST interesting...... In light of my recent disasters, at least I'm speaking to people about prospects........I do have some concerns, but at least I AM being contacted........ <BR> <BR> Just get me the hell out of this "in voluntary home confinement", already - enough is enough! Fri, 1 Feb 2013 15:26:12 EST AAAGGHH!! Why, oh WHY the H do people behave so poorly! I don't ask much - just for some quiet when I'm trying to get to sleep! Sheesh! Is it REEEEEALLY too much to ask that <BR> <BR> 1) keep your damned laughter to a minimum (even better - shut up!) <BR> <BR> and <BR> <BR> 2) get a handle on your damned coughing already! (Now this one was a true shame as guilty party was doing soooooooo much better on that score, but slipped a bit on maintenance and preventive behaviors)! <BR> <BR> Mekas me ... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 08:34:50 EST staying stable, somewhat..... Weigh-in = the same as last time, and I'm actually OK with that, all things considered..... <BR> <BR> Eating was not stellar, but not catastrophic, either - and I did ramp up the workouts so much this week that I'm contemplating taking a day off from that (though the day's still young and I may do something smaller in scope)....... <BR> <BR> Still irritated with being at home, so I'm - sigh - *forcing* myself to do something shortly........not my ideal scenario, though..... <BR> <BR> <em... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 08:31:42 EST not much to say..... just another shameless blog for points ....... <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:15:18 EST not feeling it....... this idle status is really getting me mad! Why am I at HOME (where I clearly DO NOT belong) and so many incompetents make a living? WTH? Mon, 28 Jan 2013 05:15:29 EST whew! Glad the others got out and about OK - their last sojourn didn't go so smoothly........still, I'm glad I didn't bother as I am not in a social place right now - and probably won't be for the rest of my life........yeah, that's gonna make the job search challenging, that's for sure...... <BR> <BR> Now I gotta see if I can get my eating back on track........before all hell broke loose things were going fairly well........ <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Sun, 27 Jan 2013 05:51:48 EST blah Poorest eating day so far this year - at least I did get an hour of exercise in (good to do Gilad's workouts again for a change - a good challenge but not too much).......... <BR> <BR> Had an issue with family member mood issues - but this was a case that I could understand - and this person actually opened up a bit (usually the person doesn't, but then again I'm pretty much the same way myself) was a weird vibe, to say the least........ <BR> <BR> All I want is for these nasty i... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 17:18:42 EST we'll see...... waiting to check on the status of something.......with baited breath...... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 05:00:18 EST still shaky .......but am making legitimate contacts, so the feeling of isolation is easing.......somewhat...... <BR> <BR> Problem now, as usual, is trust (or lack of same) - which has been a real issue for a while, but extremelyh exacerbated now....... <BR> <BR> Yeah, this search is gonna really be a challenge now - I'm no actor, and I feel this may force me to "play a part"........and I hate that! <BR> <BR> Eating quality has been shaky this past week, no doubt..... <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Wed, 23 Jan 2013 16:39:24 EST journey continues still need to do some grunt work, which is still quite unpleasant nature...... <BR> <BR> all I want is a resolution as quickly as possible...... <BR> <BR> can't stand feeling like a hostage, with decent life on hold....... <BR> <BR> not a fan of the human race right now...... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 05:46:19 EST another bad day ahead appetite is non-existent at this point - don't know if that's necessary a bad thing, though..... <BR> <BR> getting griped ab again - really great way to help things along, eh? <BR> <BR> <em>234</em> Mon, 21 Jan 2013 03:05:27 EST Boy, do I HATE holidays - of any and all kinds! can't make progress on resolution as long as people needed for assistance have a damned day off! <BR> <BR> Holidays and I have not been on good speaking terms for many years now - they're NEVER enjoyable and ALWAYS cause me problems when I need to get things done! <BR> <BR> Folks - you can have your damned holidays! To me, they're totally USELESS! Sun, 20 Jan 2013 05:16:50 EST scared and angry no exercise 2day - food intake lousy - almost in a panicky state - but am now composing a plan of action to move forward........I am still concerned for the future, though........ <BR> <BR> may need to take another Spark break to deal with, perhaps, for now...... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 16:10:46 EST in a horrible, horrible, place Have hit a major snag, so I will not continue with the offered job - and am making plans to protect myself (pls don't ask why) and am - sigh - back on the hunt! <BR> <BR> Wish me well! Fri, 18 Jan 2013 03:50:00 EST things I'm thinking 'bout....... 1) when will I get started on certain things - can't wait! <BR> <BR> 2) am pondering a comment someone made yesterday - while I have a generan understanding of why the person made that comment, same person should have figured out by now that I'm not ready for certain life changes yet........sigh........go figure some people, eh? <BR> <BR> 3) there's one other change I want to make here - I hope I can do so without losing all my points and such....... <BR> <BR> Onward through the day! Wed, 16 Jan 2013 05:12:01 EST still chuggin' along....... .....but the preliminary stage is a bit of a drudge (or more of a discomfort)........ <BR> <BR> Crossing fingers that the rest of the process will go as smoothly as possible! Tue, 15 Jan 2013 15:30:27 EST nervous and annoyed Hope this is the real deal! Would be a damned shame if it wasn't! <BR> <BR> Sigh - once again this weekend an opportunity was squandered........not that I was totally innocent, of course, but when others didn't step up, it just confirmed things for me...... <BR> <BR> Sooooooo.... <BR> <BR> From this point on, I get my social interactions AS AN INDIVIDUAL ALONE! I seem to have better success doing so.......note to self-------never, NEVER depend on others when you need to get the things yo... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 05:55:52 EST relieved, yet anxious...... That says it all in a nutshell........ <BR> <BR> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 08:27:47 EST so close, yet so $#!@# far...... Just when I think things are looking up, a rather disturbing curve ball has been thrown my way - and my food tracking and eating style took a HUGE hit! <BR> <BR> AARRGGHH! <BR> <BR> Maybe I should just retreat from the situation altogether....... <BR> <BR> <em>39</em> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 06:25:00 EST End-of-week blog..... Not an auspicious start to the day - couldn't post this blog via Google Chrome - for some reason the usual window would NOT appear - had to bounce back to IE for that purpose! Really annoying! <BR> <BR> And now for something completely new journey........will be interesting, to say the least, to see how this will play out....... <BR> <BR> At least I WILL BE OFF THE EMBARRASSING STATE DOLE! <BR> <BR> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> <em>224</em... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 06:00:18 EST sigh...... Now I gotta tell myself CONSTANTLY......"I can do this, I can do this, I CAN DO THIS!" <BR> <BR> Damned comfort zones.........hate 'em! <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> Thu, 10 Jan 2013 05:45:36 EST nervous...... Also stunned, and am processing this sudden change in status....... <BR> <BR> This'll be different, for sure! Definitely will be a test of the ol' comfort zone threshold! <BR> <BR> Sigh........well, this WAS what I was struggling to achieve - wasn't it? <BR> <BR> <em>101</em> Wed, 9 Jan 2013 18:49:25 EST Interesting day...... Never had an IM "pre-interview" - until now (had to quickly install an IM app to get the process started - whew!)........shall see what happens tomorrow...... <BR> <BR> Am heading out to a nutrition/weight loss class at the local store.......interesting that the store would have this.......I know I've learned a bit here, but perhaps local face-to-face info may be helpful, especially with my reputation for being "cooking-challenged"..... <BR> <BR> There will be more outside activity going fo... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 17:01:04 EST shaky weekend..... Got engaged into a conversation that made me very, VERY uncomfortable........why, oh WHY do people do this? <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Shook up the afternoon and rest of the day - didn't even BOTHER with the activity I attended - just couldn't stomach it.........I did, however, successfully avoid chocolate I batted .500 for the day...... <BR> <BR> All I need is a ...... well, you know..... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 07:19:25 EST oops! Learned a hard lesson from the food tracker this morning - won't do that again! <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Decided at last minute to bail from my original evening plan due to muscle stiffness - don't know why that happened - while I did work out, I didn't see it as having been an especially hard session........ <BR> <BR> Found out that a planned event that was considered has been cancelled - at least nobody's out any money on the deal........however, it doesn't change nor allieva... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 04:33:16 EST coping (somewhat)....... I HATE this psychological roller-coaster I'm riding wrt job searching.......this stinks! <BR> <BR> Few phone contacts this week, but some emails........a few I had to discard as being "not a good fit for me" (sometimes it's prudent to self-censor before someone else does this for you).......may respond to one, but inform the contact of my one concern as a "disclaimer"........that way, at least I've gotten my name and credentials out to another person for the future (perhaps)....... <BR> <BR... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 05:39:59 EST frustration setting in CAN'T STAND home isolation! <BR> <BR> Need positive contacts and results ASAP! <BR> <BR> I am a human being of worth and AM NOT TO BE CAST ASIDE for ANY reason! <BR> <BR> NO PASTURES! Fri, 4 Jan 2013 05:05:33 EST not perfect, but doing fairly well...... I am, however, concerned about this continuing social, know that I can handle a fair amount of this being the introvert that I generally am - however, without a professional GIG, this is taking its toll........I AM NOT, have NEVER BEEN and will NEVER BE nor CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A *HOUSEWIFE* - the need for professional adult interaction (NON-FAMILY, and non-traditional female in nature) is crucial to my health and well-being! <BR> <BR> To complicate matters, a family me... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 06:00:12 EST so far, so good...... After one day without significant junk food, I seem to feel clearer-headed, somehow......not sure if it's too early to tell if this is why, but I'll take the benefits that I perceive right now! <BR> <BR> Am also resuming the Spark food does take a bit of time, thought, and as I need to be online for job searches, I'm not sure how long I'll continue...... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 09:05:59 EST Here's to a better year ahead! Crossing fingers! Tue, 1 Jan 2013 12:42:49 EST maybe..... ....I'll shoot for a short workout - knees are feeling significantly better after a rest day. Did break down and start using the "Joint Juice", though - my personal jury is out for now on whether or not that'll have any additional effect - I'm sure that a day of rest is helping somewhat.......only time (as well as "trial and error" approaches toward exercise, along with close monitoring of my general condition) will tell..... <BR> <BR> But please, PLEASE, people - WATCH YOUR MOODS! I DON'T... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 07:43:41 EST slight upturn in momentum, and a few thoughts...... At least I've spoken with one recruiter I've worked with in the past - so I'm crossing fingers, but not holding onto unrealistic hopes.......this bout of forced idleness has been a real humdinger to deal with! Just ask everyone who's had to deal with me! <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Bluetooth car phone gadget is da bomb - received 2 calls while running about - AWESOME! <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Dayumn, this ride is rapidly reaching the "sweeeeeet" status - I just wish ... Sat, 29 Dec 2012 06:11:54 EST not much to say..... one appointment (more like a re-introduction and follow-up)........nothing else goin' on for a while - and I HATE that! <BR> <BR> Just another shameless, venting blog for points..... Wed, 26 Dec 2012 06:23:37 EST 2day....... quiet, and that's fine (for now).......still need to keep my searching plan going, and sadly, it's a slow one so far (a MAJOR reason I HATE HOLIDAYS)! <BR> <BR> Had some snow last night, but 'twas only a coating and it's essentially all gone now - didn't figure that it would stay as temps were warmer the last few days....... <BR> <BR> Computer is acting a bit strangely (one browser completely shut down) - so I may take a break and head down to do my workouts before showering and con... Tue, 25 Dec 2012 08:33:26 EST what a relief! Did successfully get the unpleasant task done first thing! Felt like 100 lbs. of stress immediately left the body - still, this needs to stop for once and for all! Not having a purpose in life SUCKS! And NO, I DON'T CARE if it's a damned holiday - every day life needs are FAR MORE important than any DAMNED holiday - of ANY type! Mon, 24 Dec 2012 09:52:23 EST sigh...... have one unpleasant task to do :( <BR> <BR> am in a mode of contemplation and introspection........I'm not one for "NY resolutions" or "bucket lists", but in the aftermath of a few things I've had to deal with, I have been led to do some interesting thinking, to say the least....... <BR> <BR> Whether or not anything good will come of these thoughts remains to be seen, though...... Sun, 23 Dec 2012 04:41:52 EST meh....... 1) got the usual holiday "duties" done..... <BR> <BR> 2) put in a claim on my lost cellphone - replacement should arrive by Xmas Eve :) <BR> <BR> 3) However, this should be my "wake-up call" re: keeping my act together, home organization-wise........I think the problem is two fold: * rushing out the door with so much damned stuff in hamd, and 2) not being consistent in habits wrt home-based work (funny, though - I've been consistently spot-on in offices, so why the h is this so tough? <BR... Sat, 22 Dec 2012 16:26:27 EST dayumn! $#!@# WINDS AGAIN! <BR> <BR> DO I EVER HATE WINDS - AND TREES! <BR> <BR> Will need to move a vehicle as soon as it gets light enough so I can protect from TREES! <BR> <BR> WT.....? <BR> <BR> <em>28</em> Fri, 21 Dec 2012 05:45:47 EST