MONICA2052's SparkPeople Blog MONICA2052's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community What are you hungry for? shouldda <BR> <BR> i shouldda had just one glass of wine <BR> i shouldda stuck to my plan <BR> <BR> i shouldda not eaten that guilt-edged cookie and then its not so guilt-edged neighbor. <BR> <BR> i shouldda not eaten that diet ice cream. <BR> <BR> But i did. <BR> <BR> i did and that's just the way it is. <BR> <BR> oh well. <BR> oh well. <BR> <BR> today my palate is fresh and clean, and i get to start again. <BR> <BR> today i won't have that second glass of wine, or cookies guilt or n... Mon, 4 Mar 2013 21:41:55 EST Oh,yea, I remember that family reunion/party/wedding... How many of us can go through our ENTIRE life by how much we weighed "then." I can. Every big event in my life, I can tell you how much I weighed, and with a little bit of ruminating, declare why/how I got to that weight. Every pound/ounce has been chiseled into my brain folds. And the accompanying emotions that reside right along with it. <BR> <BR> I'm at the point in my journey where I have to release the power that the scale has on me. I've lost 80 pounds and I know the thrill of watching... Sun, 17 Feb 2013 12:49:20 EST Advantage of Not Having a Valentine When I was first single, Valentines Day was a celebration of self. I just felt so good to be unfettered, unattached, and did not feel a need to "belong" to someone. I still feel good about myself, and I do not feel that I am "incomplete" for not "belonging" to someone. The difference between then and now is only that I am actually willing to be in relationship should I meet the right person. <BR> <BR> I do know that I am not doing much to meet another partner, but I'm not adamantly opposed ... Tue, 12 Feb 2013 20:23:25 EST Looking at the New Year So, for the New Year I do NOT have to make "lose weight" one of my resolutions. Why, you may ask? Because this year I've lost nearly 75 pounds! I know I am on the right track, and weight loss and exercise are part of me now. I no longer have to attain, seek or struggle with getting there. <BR> <BR> What is my secret? I will tell you my friends. I took a college level class in 2011; it was titled "The Psychology of Eating Disorders and Obesity." That class opened my eyes. I learned that, firs... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 13:18:07 EST Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend We've all experienced it. A friend that we've "outgrown" and somehow we slowly (or not so slowly) drift apart. So many foods have been my old friends for so long. I celebrated with them, I mourned with them, I sat around bored with them, and they were there when I was anxiety ridden and nervous. They comforted me, and (bonus) made me invisible. <BR> <BR> Since March, I've been working on changing my thinking about food--what it is for, what it is NOT for and how I relate to hunger, appetite,... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 21:43:26 EST The Obsession with BMI Happy Earth Day! My gift to the Earth this year is to eat only what I need to live. I have been a vegetarian for 34 years now, so that is a boon to the earth, too. Did you know that? Eating less or no meat is helping save the planet. <BR> <BR> And...believe me, this planet is on a seriously scary path. I've been taking my second environmental science class and reading what scientists KNOW about climate change. It is frightening, Very very frightening. The biggest difficulty about climate ch... Sun, 22 Apr 2012 10:37:10 EST I am rising Today is Easter Sunday here in sunny Ashburn, VA. And I am rising! I am rising out of the doldrums of repetative, negative thoughts and moving toward a life with healthier and more positive thoughts. I shed the automatic responses of my brain and retrain those little electrons firing in my head. I am the electrician for my brain. I retrain, rethink and redo what I need to change, reshape or rethink. <BR> <BR> This is a good day for thinking about these things. It's a good day to begin a new... Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:22:32 EST VLCD I've made a jump--trying a Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD). I learned about it in my "Psychology of Eating Disorders and Obesity" class. It has about the same success rate as most diets (dismal), but does have some advantages. First, quick weight loss. <BR> <BR> Before you start leaving me comments about how bad VLCDs can be. I know all the facts. This program is part of Fair Oaks Hospital's Bariatric Center of Excellence. I'm not willy-nilly doing this. The program has meetings with nutritions... Sat, 24 Mar 2012 15:36:15 EST My Homework My first LIVE meeting, what a blast! Kristie is cool, and I really enjoyed the conversation. <BR> <BR> Why is it that we know all this stuff about eating our veggies, eating our protein, and less meat. But somehow having someone who has been there and succeeded telling us that stuff does something good for us? Why is that? <BR> <BR> So, our homework was to make a commitment. I do pretty well on eating right, my big issue is my "relationship" (no not THAT kind of relationship) the one I have... Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:15:19 EST Cognitive Behavioral Therapy If we all believed the statistics, this would be a pretty empty site. It's futile to try and lose weight and keep it off, according to the experts. With pretty much any diet, the ability to lose is there. To keep it off? Not so much. <BR> <BR> I have new found hope in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The reason why we can't seem to keep off the weight we lose, is that while we may have changed our habits TEMPORARILY, we have not changed our minds. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is there to ... Fri, 2 Dec 2011 14:21:03 EST Am I going to lose a pound a month forever? I've been trying very hard this week, and this may be the first week where my food journal is completely filled out for each day. YAY! By Wednesday, I had gained weight! But somehow muddled through, still craving every so often and it takes all kinds of effort not to give in. I finally did show a loss of a pound by today. <BR> <BR> I have found some good tactics to use when my friend pushes to go out to lunch. I go and order a salad with the dressing on the side. Back at my desk, I have a p... Sun, 31 Jul 2011 15:30:35 EST Where to hide when you live in a house of mirrors? Where to hide when you live in a house of mirrors? I feel like I do--at least when I go to work. <BR> <BR> I know it's bad when I judge myself on how I look when I walk up the hallway to the door I have to open to go to work. At the end of this hallway is a reflective floor-to-ceiling glass wall. You can see the servers inside, but almost like a mirror, you can see yourself walking up the hall. <BR> <BR> And sometimes, I literally cringe when I see that fat lady walking up the hallway. Othe... Fri, 29 Jul 2011 18:08:21 EST Blendtec....not as successful as I originally thought I returned it. I returned it mainly because of the price. It was a really cool blender, but that is what it was: a blender. Should I be paying almost $400 bucks for a blender???? <BR> <BR> I don't think so. I bought a Cuisinart, but I am not happy with that one either. The glass container is heavy, I am having a hard time getting the lid on, and it's is kludgy to use. <BR> <BR> Man, this blender search is pretty amazing! Sun, 26 Jun 2011 11:30:05 EST I love Blendtec I "blew" some of my income tax return on a Blendtec blender. It is so cool! I've been making fresh fruit smoothies: skim milk; ice; splenda and just about any fruit. Made soup. Made fat-free sugar free pudding. I'm going to try making bread dough in it after I finish my final this week. (taking Cognitive Psychology). Maybe I'm starting to enjoy cooking again! <BR> <BR> I am having so much fun with this thing, and it is helping me stay within my calorie allotment! <BR> <BR> Had four gloriou... Mon, 14 Mar 2011 18:03:02 EST What Else Do I Have to Do Anyway? Well, what else DO I have to do anyway? <BR> <BR> Is my "previous life" of eating whatever unhealthy item I wanted so appealing? Really...I gotta think about this. What big payoff do I get when I eat sugary or fat-filled foods? If it's anything, it's comfort. And small comfort at that, followed very shortly afterwards with guilt and self-loathing. <BR> <BR> The trick is to find some other comfort. And for me, I do not get comfort from exercise, so don't even send me notes about a long walk... Sun, 13 Mar 2011 19:56:24 EST Starting Over AGAIN!!!!! <img src=""> I nearly drowned, because I quit kicking and quit trying for about six months. <BR> <BR> I have all the usual good reasons: two new chronic and serious diseases, which I get to add on to the other three serious chronic diseases. Sigh. Not counting obesity! <BR> <BR> Nevertheless, it is time to yank myself up again. and FROG ON! There is no other way. If I wallow much longer, I will surely drown in the milk, just like the litt... Sun, 1 Nov 2009 18:04:33 EST The frog story is not my original But I forget where it came from. But still, this is mine and my new battle cry: <BR> FROG ON! Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:38:13 EST OK, so I haven't commented like I said But here is the frog story from one of the communities that I wailed at: <BR> <BR> A frog inadvertently fell into a bucket of milk. She began to drown, and couldn't climb out via the tall smooth sides of the bucket. Undaunted, she kicked and fought and kicked and fought. Eventually, with all the sloshing, the milk turned into butter, and the frog was able to hop out. She never gave up but kept kicking and fighting and not giving in to the liquid.... <BR> <BR> My new battle cry: "Frog on!" Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:36:58 EST Commitment It occurred to me today, that I often think in terms of how hard this is, and that I don't really believe that I will lose this weight. I was so positive when I started out in January of 2007. So what happened? <BR> <BR> Well, there's the reality. A marriage that ended. A knee replacement and (shortly after) a broken femur. A lung infection and the steroids that I had to take for six months. All that added up to gaining back twenty pounds. Oh, and a friend returned to work and insists on goi... Mon, 2 Mar 2009 12:01:25 EST Movin' on OK, so a net loss of 3lbs since July. YAY! Considering what I've been through, it's an amazing success. <BR> <BR> Pat pat on the head, Monica! <BR> <BR> Now, moving forward, I will working as hard as ever, but understanding that I am going through a huge transition right now, and things may not always go the way I'd like. <BR> <BR> I have 2 pictures of Redwood trees on my computer. They are such a comfort to me, and I really love them. They help keep me joyful. Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:15:26 EST Business Travel I got a little off track while traveling. It's just that I didn't always had the healthiest choice. But I made the best choices I could. <BR> <BR> Things I think I could do better: choose to not eat the dessert more often, and don't just stuff myself at big dinners because I'm on an expense account. <BR> I did do some thing right; I ate oatmeal every day for breakfast, and I ignored the buffet which had lots of stuff and buffets are hard to control. I ate the cheese and stuff at the mixer, ... Tue, 17 Jul 2007 12:52:57 EST Today I am here and now I am where I am, who I am, and what I am because of where I have been. There is comfort and awesome responsibility in this knowledge. It means I have to live here and now, knowing that I am building the future me! <BR> <BR> So whatever I want to be, whatever I want to do. I live it now and I become it. <BR> <BR> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:59:34 EST The History of Mon When I was younger, age 18, I gained weight and went all the way up to 156 pounds! I thought I was fat. I went to a diet doctor (back then, it was acceptable, I didn't know I was taking speed). He ran several blood tests and told me that my thyroid was borderline... I ran like a Volkswagon, I went a long way on a little bit of fuel. AT 18! <BR> <BR> Still, I got down to 122 pounds, and (without the diet pills) kept if off for 2 years....then I got pregnant.... <BR> <BR> I lost and gained ... Sun, 3 Jun 2007 12:19:58 EST Hope springs eternal! I'm still workin' out, doing my thing. I feel so good, and I know that this way of living is helping me a lot. <BR> <BR> I still have physical problems, but instead of giving up, I work around them. That's a big change for me! <BR> <BR> Since I've had knee pain, even exercising in the water, I started wearing a leg wrap when I exercise, and the pain is minimal now. <BR> <BR> I will weigh myself tomorrow, see how I did this week. Fri, 1 Jun 2007 10:38:29 EST Yesterday Yesterday I really munched out, and I don't know exactly why. I was alone in the evening, and I didn't have a meal, so I kept snacking and never "made up for it." <BR> <BR> Then I ate an oatmeal breakfast, thinking that would satisfy for a meal, and it did not. So, I am glad for the food journal here at Spark People. I just kept writing it down. That at least kept me from just not stopping till I was in pain! <BR> <BR> Today is a new day, and I'm not going to let it get me down. Sun, 27 May 2007 09:47:44 EST Lost 2 pounds! And don't care to find them! I decided to commit to staying at around 1300 calories and it's working...or it was time to finally drop some pounds. At any rate, I dropped 2 pounds and I'm so glad. <BR> <BR> I've also been varying my workout for the past several weeks, and took off the 3lb weights when I do the aerobics in the pool. My knee doesn't hurt as much. I still use them for strength training. <BR> <BR> All in all, keeping my eye on other successes does help when the pounds won't budg... Thu, 24 May 2007 06:55:02 EST I try so hard! And still I stay stuck! Stuck! Stuck! I'm eating between 1300-1800 calories this week was on the high side, but most days aren't. I exercise 3-5 days a week, pretty hard, in the pool either water aerobics, swimming or water jogging. I use weights in the pool, though this week I had to lay off, because my arthritic knee was giving me a lot of problems. <BR> <BR> I just don't know what else to do! I don't have anymore time, I am controlling my food as best as I can. <BR> <BR> Sigh. Fri, 11 May 2007 11:19:54 EST Slow goes it Whew, really slow! It took me a month to lose one pound! I am really working hard at it, too! I'm working out 3-5 times a week, tracking everything, every molecule! <BR> <BR> And I am fighting for every ounce! But at least ounce by ounce I'm winning. <BR> <BR> Besides, for the first time in my life, I'm truly enjoying the journey, and I have a good friend here to talk with, and my daughter, too! <BR> <BR> So, even as slowly as it's going. It IS GOING! <BR> <BR> Mon, 2 Apr 2007 12:12:57 EST I have arrived To water exercise. <BR> I feel so good. So healthy. So happy. I can face whatever I have to face. I can tackle whatever goals I have to tackle. I can be what I want to be. I feel like I am succeeding. In fact, I know I am succeeding. <BR> <BR> How did I get here when so many times before I failed? What changed? What clicked? <BR> <BR> I believe all the failures, all the trials, and all the work finally added up. I do believe that the hypnosis helped me over come the emotional blocks, an... Fri, 16 Mar 2007 10:25:26 EST