MOMMAOF1BOY's SparkPeople Blog MOMMAOF1BOY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community 6.23.15 I'm so funny because I'll sit here trying to think of a title for my blog and sometimes I spend more time on that then I do on the blog. <em>40</em> Anyway... <BR> <BR> School is going good. These classes are def tougher so I'm not sure I'll be able to pull A's again but that's what I'm aiming for. End of this week will mark the half way point of this set of classes. <BR> <BR> I'm doing much better with my attitude, eating and exercise. Am back to counting calories (and as always being ... Tue, 23 Jun 2015 22:02:27 EST Whew...busy few weeks Well it's been a busy few weeks since I last posted. <BR> <BR> My son is home from college. I'm thrilled to have him here but it is an adjustment on both our parts. <BR> <BR> I finished my first trimester of classes and received an A in both classes. :D Pretty pumped about that! The first classes ended on Sunday May 31st and the new classes started Monday June 1st. <BR> <BR> And on Saturday May 30th my grandfather passed away. He was 95 years old, in poor health and had outlived 4 of h... Thu, 4 Jun 2015 22:19:46 EST Struggling but feeling better after last blog First off, thank you to everyone who posted their support on my last blog. Writing it out and reading the encouragement def helped me. <BR> <BR> I don't know why I was freaking out about giving up junk food. I, of all people, know that I don't have to cut out junk food I just have to cut it down and be sure to count the calories. The thought of not eating it still freaks me out but I'm trying to remind myself I can still have it but in small portions. Thank you to those that reminded me of ... Mon, 18 May 2015 21:36:02 EST Still struggling It's been so long since I've blogged. I've wanted to write a blog for awhile but I've been stalling, partially because it seems like I'm always struggling. so I write about it and tell myself I'm going to change and to post more often here and then I don't do it. <BR> <BR> Not to make excuses but I think the site still overwhelms me and makes me miss my old site and the small number of people and how it felt like home, but of course I was on the site for 10+ years. But that site has closed ... Sun, 17 May 2015 10:49:40 EST Struggling again I don't know what started it but I've been struggling with my eating and getting exercise and my attitude has been awful! I've been crabby and had an "I don't give a s***" attitude. I don't like being that way and get mad at myself which of course didn't help the situation. <BR> <BR> Drives me nuts when I'm that way and don't know why and can't seem to stop it. I feel so good when I'm doing good why do I stop??!! idk... <BR> <BR> Previously I had signed up for a 3k walk which was being h... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 17:26:26 EST Why did I do that to myself again...bleck.. So this week I've worked 40 hours at my full time job, done three tough workouts, worked at my second job Thursday and Friday giving me two 13 hour work days back to back, worked 8.5 hours at my second job today and then went to town for grocery and household shopping. glad to get home and chill out. <BR> <BR> I've struggled with staying within my calorie count the last few days. Okay I've more than struggled I've gone over the last two days and today. First two days were more bec... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 22:31:48 EST 1.29.15 Another full day with work and then a workout and driving to town for groceries. Pleased that I decided to do the workout before grocery shopping. <BR> <BR> Stepped on the scale this morning and I'm down a total of 11 pounds!!! woohooo!!! <BR> <BR> And Went over 10,000 steps again! <BR> <BR> Struggled with food today. I went over calories but I'm really okay with that as strange as it sounds. I was really really craving a binge, to the point of being crabby and irritated. All I wanted wa... Thu, 29 Jan 2015 23:15:32 EST 1.28.15 Today I've stayed within my calorie count and have had over 10 glasses of water. My workout tonight was tough! Think the hardest one I've had in a long time. <BR> <BR> I also went over my 10,000 steps again!! <BR> <BR> So in the last year, my life has had some major changes. My boss finally retired at the end of December 2013, I was given her job (a promotion for me) and spent 4 months doing both her and my full time jobs until someone was hired for my old job. So I've been learning her j... Wed, 28 Jan 2015 21:50:04 EST 1/27/15 I find it amazing that I have so much I want to say and I feel better after blogging but then I sit in front of the monitor and don't know how to start. lol <BR> <BR> I haven't really blogged in almost 2 years and so much has changed in that time. But all that is for another time. :) <BR> <BR> I recently upgraded my fitbit flex for a fitbit charge hr and am loving it! So worth the money. I've also had friends get fitbits and it's made it so much more fun. <BR> <BR> In the last seven day... Tue, 27 Jan 2015 22:05:31 EST Realty moment I have a friend who believes that if we picture things in our mind we are more likely to make them come true. So I've been working on that. <BR> <BR> The other night as I was laying in bed I was trying to imagine myself at my goal weight, or even 100lbs less than I am now, shoot even less then 300lbs and I couldn't. <BR> <BR> I got to thinking and realized that the last time I was less than 300lbs was over 8 years ago, <BR> <BR> the last time I was in onderland was when I got pregnant wi... Sun, 25 Jan 2015 23:04:26 EST Intimidated It has been a very long time since I've blogged, almost two years I believe. I've been active on the site off and on since then. Pretty much on since the fall. <BR> <BR> I love the features on this site, all the trackers, articles, information etc but the number of people here still intimidates me. The last site I was active on was a small sight where people kept journals and just added pages to them and well was just totally different. That site has closed and it's times when I really feel... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 14:11:29 EST Job interview results and life Before I say anything I wanted to note that I know I have really long blogs and talk about way too much stuff and in way more detail then are needed...but I miss the journaling I did at my old sight and don't particularly care for the journal option here so I use my blog entries as my journaling. So I apologize to those that find these too long and rambling and way to much detail. :) I like to talk a lot and about every detail so makes me feel better to put that in my journal. <BR> <BR> Than... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 22:59:41 EST Job interview and comparisons I've think I've done blogs before on how unhappy I am with my current job but as I'm doing this to organize my thoughts and opinions I'm going to go over what I like and don't about my current job. <BR> <BR> I'm thankful I have a full time job, with benefits and regular hours but I'm unhappy with the job itself and the working environment. My supervisor is well past the age of retirement and is getting more and more confused so I spend time helping her remember stuff and time dealing with h... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 23:28:14 EST Post 5k walk I did it!! <em>209</em> I completed my first 5k!! I even jogged the last 100 yards or so!! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> To be honest after walking 7tenths of a mile from the parking lot to the check in area I was already tired and my calves were feeling it. I was starting to doubt that I could do it. There were 5 of us on my team and three of them took off much faster than two of us were comfortable with so we let them go on and kept at our pace. And then right off the bat we had a hill (we... Sun, 2 Jun 2013 22:52:28 EST Pre 5k Tomorrow is my first 5k. I'm walking a 5k color run in Kansas City with some girlfriends. It's about 4 hours away from us so we're all leaving work early and heading up this afternoon. I've wanted to do one ever since I first heard about the color runs. And have a goal of one day running in one. <BR> <BR> I've so excited, about the walk and about the girl time, but at the same time I'm so very terrified about doing the 5k. I've tried to talk to my girlfriends about it but they really don't g... Fri, 31 May 2013 10:24:20 EST 4.1.13 Son had a baseball game tonight and while it was a bit chilly it wasn't too bad. <BR> <BR> I was amazed at how well he did. Don't get me wrong, I love him and attend every one of his events that I can but I'm not one of those moms that thinks their child is the best player on the team and does no wrong. But man tonight he rocked it!! They played him in positions he hasn't played in years and he did so good! Proud momma!! <BR> <BR> And now time for a pat on the back...The games are alway... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 21:38:19 EST Surgery and trying to get back in the groove Had surgery at the beginning of March, complete hysterectomy. Surgery and recovery haven't been to bad at all. I was actually surprised by the lack of pain once the first 12 hours passed. My main problem was exhaustion and dizziness. I've also had trouble with one incision healing; it's right on my waist line; but is slowly getting there. <BR> <BR> My eating has not been good however I didn't completely go crazy. I did manage to lose 1lb during my weeks off work. one week back ... Sun, 31 Mar 2013 22:08:35 EST New shoes So today I went to the running store and had my walk videotaped and analyzed and my feet sized. I had very knowledgeable help..the owner of the store. <BR> <BR> Thought/think I found a pair of shoes. Tonight when I started the workout my right foot felt great but the arch was bothering my left foot (weird I know). During my workout I, again, had a problem with my toes burning but the arch didn't bother me as much the longer I wore it. And after my workout my feet are hurting still/again. <... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 21:27:39 EST 2.13.13/weight loss as of today my weight is down 29 pounds!!! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Technically my scale was down 3 more pounds a few years ago, but it was when I was using medication. I wasn't as heavy when I started the medication so actually have lost more weight then on the medication. <BR> <BR> I'm so am much prouder of this weight loss!! I've done it myself with hard work and changing my eating habits!! <BR> <BR> I didn't let this awful sickness derail me and was right back at it on Monday. I'm ... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 21:48:00 EST 2.11.13 I've been sick since last week but am finally feeling on the road to recovery! <BR> <BR> Came home from work Tuesday and today was my first day back. After lunch on Tuesday I couldn't keep food or even liquids in me until Friday evening. bleck!!! On top of that I got a chest cold at the same time..or maybe it's a combo that is going around right now. I don't know and guess it doesn't really matter..either way I have it. But like I said I'm on the road to recovery. Still struggling to breath... Mon, 11 Feb 2013 22:07:16 EST 1.26.13 Don't have anything special to write about but thought I'd update anyway just to keep notes for myself about my journey. <BR> <BR> Had a great day with my son, sister-in-law and nephew. We very rarely get to spend time together so was awesome! <BR> <BR> Eating is still going good. I need to get back to counting my points. Did fall off the wagon on that. I get self-conscious about figuring points while I'm at work so was just figuring them in the evenings after I ate which defeated some of... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 21:11:50 EST 1/21/13 Still working at the same job. I sent out some resumes and got one call but didn't go anywhere. So just waiting to see what happens. <BR> <BR> My eating is doing much better. Think part of my problem that week was hormones. Thankfully it didn't last too long!! haha This perimenopause sucks!! royally!! And rather than share more info than anyone cares to hear about I'm just going to stop there. lol <BR> <BR> Exercise is going great. I've even worked up to 3 miles in an hour on the treadmill... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 21:23:16 EST 1.9.13 Work is still stressing me out..big time..and it's being reflected in my eating. I don't eat near as much at home as I do at work. I know this but yet I still struggle to control it. <BR> <BR> I have sent out 3 resumes this weekend but expect it'll be a few weeks, at least, before I hear anything. <BR> <BR> On possibly a positive note, I asked the boss that drives me crazy, if she would stay to train/work out a new head boss (believe there is a strong chance that current one will leave in... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 22:06:18 EST 1.9.13 mourning <BR> <BR> My main boss, who I also consider a friend, lost his wife, who was in her late 30's, Monday to cancer. They have two grade school aged daughters. I wasn't close friends with her but I'm still really struggling. She has been fighting the battle for 2.5 years and her hubby has talked with us quite a bit so we shared in the much as outsiders can. My heart breaks for those little girls. They are way to young to lose their mother. And he is too young to lose his wife. I do... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 21:30:58 EST 12.28.12 work venting/considering change Got in another great workout tonight. And man did I feel better after that! lol <BR> <BR> Work was awful again today. Told my main boss that I was job hunting. I hated to do it but my stomach is upset at the thought of going to work and I get headaches just being there. My immediate boss really needs to retire and she is making my job so much more difficult by refusing to do so. She's like 74, getting forgetful, but is still a control freak so I'm suppose to clear all my phone calls, and de... Fri, 28 Dec 2012 21:12:19 EST 12.27.12 I've been working out pretty regularly which feels good! My feet are still hurting me though. I've been walking 30 minutes on the treadmill and it's def a workout but at times I think I could walk longer but my feet just hurt so bad. Here I am 2 hours after finishing my workout and they are still throbbing. They hurt anytime I'm on them and I push through to get 30 minutes on the treadmill but would like to do more. I'm also riding the bike and doing water exercise so not always on the treadm... Thu, 27 Dec 2012 21:15:58 EST 10.31.12 Happy Halloween! Gotta say this has never been my favorite holiday and is one of the rare holidays where I don't necessarily miss my son being little as much as I do at other times. lol <BR> <BR> Haven't gotten a workout in since Saturday. That was .92/mile walk in 28 minutes. Not fast but I'm pleased that I was able to do it. Foot has been hurting since then but oh well. Didn't have a choice but to make the walk and it was good for my self confidence. tonight I head back to the pool and ma... Wed, 31 Oct 2012 17:23:48 EST 10.22.12 Wow...didn't realize how long it had been since I posted a blog! So knowing me this will be even longer than normal, seems like once I start typing I just go on and on and on lol <BR> <BR> <BR> Divorce was final in September. Relieved to have that final and not feel like I'm in limbo any longer. Ex called me 2 weeks after that to let me know he was dating someone and it is serious enough that she had already met the family. Threw me for a loop. I'm happy for him guess I was just thrown for... Mon, 22 Oct 2012 20:43:10 EST 9/23/12 I've been feeling very positive and pleased with myself, over all. I've gotten some extra movement or exercise in 5 of the last 7 days. My eating hasn't been the best but I'm not beating myself up over it. I have done what I promised myself I would, gotten exercise, worked on my self esteem, taken my medication. <BR> <BR> I've been wanting to walk a 5k so when I saw sparkpeople virtual 5k I decided to sign up for it. After all surely I can walk 15 minutes at a time and thats all that was re... Sun, 23 Sep 2012 21:32:39 EST Goals 9/8/12 edited 9/9 I wanted this blog to be totally separate and easy to find. I'm not real good at setting definite goals but going to give it a shot as everything I read says we need defined goals to help us succeed. I'm deliberately not doing a long term weight loss goal. I know I have a huge amount to lose, started at 203 to lose, and just feel there is no need to focus on that number. I'm also trying to change my handling of my finances so including those goals here also. <BR> <BR> I've been stalling on... Sat, 8 Sep 2012 18:58:37 EST Feeling better I'm feeling much better than a few days ago when I posted my last blog. Think it's for several reasons; felt immediately better after voicing my concerns, the support was amazing and made me feel so supported and let me know I'm not alone in my feelings or my struggle, have been taking my meds regularly and lastly weather has cooled down, finally! :) <BR> <BR> Before I forget I want to say a huge <em>304</em> to everyone that responded to my last post. It helped me so much! <BR> <BR> M... Sat, 8 Sep 2012 18:21:30 EST Being totally honest with myself in my typical rambling way lol Biggest loser fall challenge started today so of course had to report our weights. 327.8 Yes higher than it was a few months ago BUT I have kept off almost 15lbs so I'm very very pleased with myself for that! <BR> <BR> I do need to be honest enough with myself to admit I don't know how I haven't gained those 15lbs back but I haven't. <BR> <BR> I have been pretty good with taking one of my anti-depressants but haven't taken any of the second one. And haven't been good about taking my metfo... Wed, 5 Sep 2012 19:59:37 EST Working up to venturing out of hiding Lets try this again..I had a blog typed and was almost ready to hit "post" when I must have accidentally touched something while typing and lost it all. Gosh that sure pisses me off!! <BR> <BR> It's been a long summer between the record heat, 10th anniversary of my mom's death, moving, husband and I separating and learning to adjust back to being alone and not having someone to share responsibilities with. <BR> <BR> I haven't been taking care of myself or taking my medicine. I've struggle... Sun, 12 Aug 2012 22:53:16 EST More divorce/moving rambling Thanks for all the kind words and support. Means alot to me!! Especially since my two best friends have both moved away in the last year and a half and with their work and family schedules its hard to find time to talk to them. <BR> <BR> It is harder than I expected, I didn't think about it but figured both us wanting this it wouldn't be as stressful as it is, and didn't think I would feel the need to "mourn" the lose and change. living on my own and being a single parent again will take so... Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:24:53 EST Long rambling blog about divorce What a long month or so its been. I'm feeling the need to write this mainly to vent and express myself. Sorry if it doesn't make sense I'm writing as thoughts come to my mind. <BR> <BR> November would be my 6 year wedding anniversary. We met 7 years ago this past March. This last month we have decided to divorce. My folks had a very very nasty divorce when I was in 6th grade and I refuse to go through that myself if I can help it. So I'm trying to do this as nicely as possible. We have agre... Sat, 16 Jun 2012 23:04:07 EST Shoe/foot pain?? Please respond with your experiences!! TU! So I went and had my foot sized and my walked taped to see if I turned my ankle or anything. Tried on a bunch of shoes and found a pair that felt great. <BR> <BR> However walking for any length of time in them is still painful, my right foot isn't so bad but left one arch really hurts. I had hoped to find a pair of shoes that were extremely comfortable. I can find sandles that are comfy but tennis shoes I really struggle with. I'm not walking long distances or for long periods yet. <BR> <... Mon, 14 May 2012 10:18:31 EST Sure wish I could bottle this feeling! Weigh in Monday finally showed a loss!! woohoo!! <BR> <BR> Top that off with my second week of calorie counting every day, drinking at least 8 classes of water daily and exercising and I'm feeling pretty darn good :) <BR> <BR> I have not binged in awhile and even when I have gotten upset (always a trigger for me) I haven't binged or immediately went off plan for a day to eat junk. Maybe I'm learning how to do this?? <BR> <BR> I'm still eating foods I want, just smaller portions and am co... Wed, 9 May 2012 22:49:31 EST Rollarcoaster week Wow! What a week!! Has been very busy and very emotional. <BR> <BR> Found out that a friend has lymphoma. Was quite a shock of course and makes you feel so helpless. Did find out today though that it is a curable type and being as he is young and healthy he should recover. Still awful for him and his family but at least they are saying he has a good chance at beating this. The day I found out about this was after I'd only received about 3 hours of sleep. Won't go into detail but lets just s... Fri, 4 May 2012 22:02:42 EST Trying to follow doctors suggestions After lots of thought and, if I'm honest with myself and whats the point of doing all this if I'm not going to be honest....lots of stalling.. <BR> <BR> I've decided to take the appetite suppressant the dr suggested. I did as was required and got weighed and blood pressure taken today so am all set to start tomorrow. Part of me is excited and part is scared. <BR> <BR> I'm also going to work on following the dr's suggestion to curb my workouts; maybe curb isn't the right word so much as wo... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:10:44 EST Maybe the Dr is right?? And if so should I take his advice?? Okay so I was so thrilled, excited and proud of myself for all the activity I did on Tuesday and I should be...but.... <BR> <BR> Since then I have been in so much pain! My feet, ankles, joints, bones and hips are so painful. <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> You know when you see like a grandma get up to walk and she hobbles across the floor?? that's what I feel like. <BR> <BR> I knew walking to work in my flip flops wasn't the smartest decision but didn't expect this much pain. So the only conclu... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 22:28:25 EST 4/17/12; progress After several weeks of the scale moving up it finally moved down. Only a pound but hey it's in the right direction. And either way I am thrilled with myself because I am continuning to get extra movement almost everyday, exercise often, drink more water and working on my eating...I haven't given up and I am so proud of myself!! <BR> <BR> Not to say I haven't had my down days and my binge days but I have managed to keep doing little things to move me in the right direction. <BR> <BR> I fe... Tue, 17 Apr 2012 22:25:17 EST 4/3/12 To start this blog on a positive note... I have continued to work out regularly with my girlfriend. We set our time and place the day before..if we have plans or kids activities thats okay but any night we are free we meet up. Some nights the workouts are harder than others but atleast we are moving. We are at different fitness levels so but have been able to work together at finding things where we can set our own pace or determine how hard we work on our own. We hate to cancel cause we know... Tue, 3 Apr 2012 23:06:02 EST 3/13/12 Very pleased with myself today so wanted to brag about it lol <BR> <BR> I walked back to work after lunch and then home after work!!! woohoo!!! Granted it's not that far but I am winded by the time I reach the end of our block let alone make it to work. I don't know how far it is in distance but it takes me about 10 minutes and thats walking slowly. Hardest part is the way home b/c my office is at the bottom of a steep hill! <BR> <BR> I did have a pop this morning but only one and then I ... Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:49:42 EST 3/12/12 I really did mean to blog more often than I have been but obviously haven't <BR> <BR> Felt great last week until Friday afternoon when I started coughing bad again and having trouble breathing. :( joy joy Layed around all weekend and wasn't feeling any better by sunday evening so decided that was it. I wasn't feeling any better so time to start being active again! Did 45 minutes of wii just dance today so very pleased. Was a hard workout even though I had to stop often to cough and... Mon, 12 Mar 2012 21:39:17 EST 3/3/12 Last week I managed to come down with bronchitis again! Just had it in July so not real thrilled to have it again! Thankfully though I knew what it was and so didn't wait so long to get prescription from dr. And now after taking it for almost a week I'm feeling better..yea!! <BR> <BR> Actually kinda funny b/c I really started feeling better thursday evening/friday morning and friday was my 40th birthday. haha My son knows that I've wanted a mothers ring for ages but he feels like I have too... Sat, 3 Mar 2012 14:12:16 EST 02/07/12 Tuesday evening and I'm watching my Biggest Loser! woohoo!! lol I am addicted to that show..although not liking this season to much. I know those weight loss numbers aren't reasonable so please not lectures on that :) I love watching how people change their lives and doing things they never thought were possible. <BR> <BR> Anyway, Monday evening I did 50 minutes of water walking/jogging. Have counted calories monday and tuesday. No pop since Saturday at noon. Haven't gotten quite up to 8 cla... Tue, 7 Feb 2012 22:01:50 EST 2/1/12 At the beginning of December I decided to go to weighing in monthly b/c otherwise I tend to fixate on the scale. My weigh in the this morning was down 2lbs!!! Thrilled with that..more would always be nice but it's a heck of a lot better then staying the same or gaining. <BR> <BR> Had appts with therapist and dr last week and both went well I guess. Therapist suggested a change in my meds but not sure she is taking my food problem seriously enough but we'll see. Dr agreed to med change but al... Wed, 1 Feb 2012 21:30:12 EST 1/16/12 My day went okay. Work was long but I didn't bing so thats a plus. I also didn't let the long day at work combined with boss and co-working getting upset with me ruin my mood, which is a huge improvement!! My therapist has helped alot with that and teaching me ways to cope with it. Am so thankful I made that decision last year! <BR> <BR> I did decide to get a pop and was suprised by how sweet and icky it tasted! I've noticed the last few times I've gotten a pop but for some reason I really... Mon, 16 Jan 2012 22:05:17 EST Username change Just a quick post to explain that I changed my user name. I was just feeling too exposed since it used my full first name and part of my last. I know how unlikely it is that someone would connect it with me but I do live in a small town and know of others in my community that are on here. <BR> <BR> Sorry if this confused you!! <BR> <BR> Will be back for an actual post later! lol Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:46:52 EST 1/15/12 Gotta start by saying how about them Niners??!!!! woohoo!!! Know I burned some calories watching that game! lol <BR> <BR> My eating is doing okay. Not eating the healthiest but am eating smaller portions and not as often. And am not getting formal exercise but am moving and getting stuff done around the house; not spending all weekend sitting on my butt so that is a huge improvement! <BR> <BR> Had wrestling friday night and it was a weird gym where bleachers were on the upper level so had... Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:32:56 EST