MOLLIESMAMA's SparkPeople Blog MOLLIESMAMA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community ITs all just advice Its all just advice. When you are searching for help, makeing a plan gaining ideas, asking opinions...its all just advice. Some advice we ask for, some unsolicited, some given with the best intentions, other not. Its important to remember we are all fighting our own individual demons. My demons are mine to own, yours are yours. Our issues may be similar but never the same. We envy others who seem to have it all figured out, but never think they too are fighting a hard battle within. Someone w... Mon, 30 Jul 2012 05:50:03 EST Using my tools, made it through I made it! It wasnt pretty, I consumed double my normal cafeinne intake plus 6 liters of water but i made it through Sunday. I used just about every tool I could think of to stay away from the food: <BR> -Read my AA book, read a magazine (shape), read Spark blogs, reread some of my old blogs <BR> -Took a hot bath <BR> -Afternoon Delight with my hubby <BR> -went for a walk <BR> -pulled out my sewing projects (finished most of the things) <BR> -listened to music <BR> -finished my chores <BR> -s... Mon, 30 Jul 2012 05:05:28 EST My love hate relationship with Sunday I either look forward to or dread Sundays. Since Monday feels like a fresh start its easy to make Sunday my "cheat day." But coming out of a bad month i need to maintain focus on portion and power through at least 2 weeks of clean sane eating before I even step on the scale. I know I gained weight during the past month being so out of control, but i refused to get on the scale and see what the damage actually was. Some may say "face the music," know what weigh so you know how much you need to... Sun, 29 Jul 2012 05:21:34 EST Time to myself So lately, I have been forcing myself to stay in bed til at least 5am (usually up at 4). Next week I will probably be up at 4:30 because I will start my workouts again, but this weeks focus was and is getting my food in control. I have now 5 days without any unhealthy eating! For me that means no binging, no flour/sugar and weighing all my bites, licks, tastes nothing that I didnt put on the food scale. I am physically feeling much better. Since my last binges didnt contain flour/s... Sat, 28 Jul 2012 05:57:04 EST The purge Sunday I got rid of my box of binge foods. I had reduced it quite a bit a few months ago but still couldn't let go of the M&m's, reeses and other "good stuff." I knew monday was a new start for me with the food, and I have not been indulging on the sugar like in the past, but it was incredibly difficult. I have several unopened bags of my faves...but i know the terrible torture I feel physically after bingeing on it. It is now gone. I have no binge food box! My house is becoming cleaner, wipi... Thu, 26 Jul 2012 06:47:39 EST Day 1 behind me I did a whole lot of nothing yesterday, as far as being productive is concerned. My daughter, Maddie, had a little birthday money to spend so wanting to get out of the house for a little bit we went to Walmart and target to spend it. Being 3 she had a hard time understanding that we were actually using her money to buy her gift. My husband and I have this strategy we use when we are in a store or anyplace where the kids see something they want to have, we tell them to put it on their "list." ... Tue, 24 Jul 2012 06:18:46 EST The darkness I was in the dark. The draw of the dark is deceptive: quiet, private, intimate, comforting. But once you are in the dark you feel trapped, isolated and strangely out of control with out the light to guide you past obstacles in your path. You bump into things, stub your toes, fall over lose your balance, get hurt unless you just submit to the dark and stay in one spot, letting the darkness consume you til you become a part of it and it a part of you. You always intend it to be just a brief vis... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 09:09:12 EST The actual meaning of RSVP We are having a very small party for my daughter today. She turned 3 while we were in Cape cod so we are having a small party for famly and friends here. I sent out maybe 10 invitations, so its a pretty select crowd (usually i would invite evryone i know but I am getting wiser in my old age). Of course on the invitation I put "RSVP" followed with my phone number. so far Ihave received 2 RSVP and on regret. YEp, that leaves 7 up in the air. Unfortunately, I know these people will come anyway w... Sat, 21 Jul 2012 05:13:17 EST MIA My youngest turned 3 while we were on bacation and we are having a small famly party for her this Saturday, but with me when it comes to parties I dont really do small. Im not renting a bouncy house or anything but the cleaning that needs to be done, plus decorations (getting them gathered and organized), and the food planning has kept me off line for a few days. Also Imade a commitment not to get online before I worked out and I have been keeping it, which has caused me to chose spark or exe... Fri, 20 Jul 2012 05:30:28 EST to do to do Do you ever feel crazy busy but then feel like you never really get anything important accomplished?? That pretty much sums up my weekend. I have loads of stuff I need to get done, tons I want to do and yet im pretty sure I will do nothing and everything not on my lists. I have a small 3yr old party (just basically for my family that lives in the area) to plan for next saturday, a weeks worth of activities to plan for the girls and I. CrP nd the pitter patter of my day begins, thats what I ge... Sun, 15 Jul 2012 05:52:23 EST New Plan, gonna show off my muscle (soon) SO my session with the personal trainer was wonderful. Although it was only a free 30 min session she gave me a lot of great exercises to do at home! First I am using too heavy weights! I thought I was a beast, but when I lift (since I dont have someone to tell me im doing it wrong) I am doing it too fast. So my new motto: Faster is not better! I came away with a bunch of new body weight exercise to help strengthen my core since the ones I was doing were not working. Also, I need 2 rest days ... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 05:34:28 EST BAck on Track! We are home safe and sound! The house has been restocked with healthy food and I spent a good portion of my time last night cutting veges and making lunch for the husband for today. We are, as of today, back on track food wise. i did a 30 min cardio session on my elliptical this morning. I had a session with a personal trainer while on the cape (a free perk when I signed up at the gym) and learned quite a bit about what I need to do to lose my last 15lbs to really show the muscle I have worke... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 06:18:02 EST Control...sing it Janet! Thing shave kind of gone to hell in a hand basket. Im struggling with stress and having a hard time communicating what I feel so other understand, the result : Im a controlling Bitch. I feel overwhelmed with having to control everything, my controlling issues cause all the worlds problems, 'when I give up control and ask for help things still blow up in my face. Really being able to verbalize the issue is what I having the hardest time doing so im just bloggin to get it out and see if I can s... Sat, 7 Jul 2012 06:58:36 EST finally relaxing This must be what it means to relax....I am absolutely loving every second of this trip! I am having great adventures with my girls and tonight (around 12am) my husband will join the fun for the rest of the time we are here! GOd I miss his face! I have been working out which has really made this an easy transition. Two Days in a row now I have walked to (or ran) the gym a little more than 1 mile away and done my ST and run/walked home. I have felt truly amazing. <BR> I think also my hormone/... Tue, 3 Jul 2012 06:26:00 EST Neither Here nor There I guess i really am in "vacation mode" right now. I have no desire to get online right now....and while not completely in the food...trying to eat clean just all over the place. Part of the problem is having a terrible time dealing with hormones, bleeding like Im dying (having a hard time adjusting to the pill). I have called the dr so no worries there but i am ravenous, crabby and hormonal, bloated but thankfully not crampy....Today makes 9 straight heavy days. Yay for me for hav... Sat, 30 Jun 2012 06:58:23 EST Vacation Day Uno! <BR> I am sitting here on my MIL's computer listening to the birds and the sprinklers go off and on, yep the window are wide open here. Its peaceful and calm and yes I have been up since 3:45 as usual. I was able to do most of my yoga and ST (some of the exercises I couldnt since I only had my bands) and hope to get in my cardio. My FIL is off the next 4 days and I decided to suck it up and pay the 15$ a day to be a guest at his gym, we will go in the Am after we eat and I am really looking... Thu, 28 Jun 2012 05:53:48 EST Happy travels! I leave to Cape Cod today to stay with my inlaws for 2 weeks. It will be just me and the girls for the first week and then my hubby will join us for the 2nd week (when my little one turns 3 :)). I am excited to go, it really is like a second home at this point for me. Just the smell walking in the house is stress relieving. Dont get me wrong, there are stressors when I visit (as I have posted about before like where my kids will sleep) but over all I know I am blessed to have such gracious In... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 04:17:58 EST Mind/Body/Spirit I am a bit obsessed with getting a good deal. I like to coupon (but only buywhat I actually use and would never clear out the shelf to be greedy), I dont mind asking for a discount when I go out, I look online daily for special "now" or "today only" deals, and love taking advantage of any and every free thing for kids! Recently, living social (similar to groupon) had a deal for 10 yoga classes for 10$ total. Well, I snatched it up. I do yoga most mornings at home, just a little routine I put ... Tue, 26 Jun 2012 05:59:03 EST It happened...lets just move on Im not going to blog about guilt. I really dont feel bad physicall or mentally. Im not going to list what I did, lets just acknowledge it did and move on OK! Oh one more thing, Im not going to make any excuses about it either. I take full responsiblity for what I did, I decided consciously to do it, I paid attention to it, I enjoyed it and I actually am OK with it! <BR> <BR> SO I have a new attitude thismorning! A few "aha's" happened yesterday.... <BR> 1. I missed 2 days of taking my BCP (... Sat, 23 Jun 2012 06:17:19 EST Paleo-Low FODMAP diet SO im researching like crazy about what could be wrong with my gut/digestion. Of course my husband is encouraging me to go to the doctor, but all my SAHMs out there without any local sitter options know this would be torture. Picture it, a 3 yr old (OMG 3yrs in a few weeks) and a 4.5 yr old going nuts in the waiting area, then going crazy in the room, while I try to talk about my gas, bloating, abdominal pain, bowel issues.....I mean I would have to write everything down to make sure I didnt ... Fri, 22 Jun 2012 06:19:57 EST Well looky looky Small intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth <BR> Took the quizes related and other than losing weight despite eating craving (like that would ever happen to me) this sounds like me! <BR> -often mis diagnosed as IBS (which I suspected in the past due to my bowel issues) <BR> -symptoms occur most when sugary/starchy foods are eaten <BR> -symptoms excess gas, bloating, abdominal pain discomfort, anxiety, constipation/diarrhea, fatigue <BR> <BR> Even if I am just self diagnosing, it seems to fit every... Thu, 21 Jun 2012 06:54:12 EST Sugar, you nasty little B I had an "aha' moment yesterday evening while out with a new friend (my new neighbor) for a movie. I do a lot of marinating and always marinate my meats way ahead of time (at least 24 hrs to ensure maximum flavor infusion). I usually dont use packaged matinades (due to the fact that the 1st ingredient is usually sugar), and when I do i doctor them with more seasonings and such. Well for Fathers Day I used a Chipolte marindae I had used before (it was requested by my husband so it was essentia... Thu, 21 Jun 2012 06:06:11 EST Perpetually unmotivated I need a few moments to sit in prayer.I need Gods help to center me and help me refocus and get back on track. I am as the title says "perpetually unmotivated." <BR> <BR> Rest Days always throw me off, and now today will be day 3 of not working out. I have put on weight, I feel yucky, and lethargic despite my clean eating. It seems the more I focus on tweeking my food plan the more I obsess about a binge....but the more I obsess about fitness I let the food get out of control. Balance, and s... Wed, 20 Jun 2012 05:31:39 EST Day 1 complete After tweaking my program (i hate the word diet) and food plan yesterday, I felt such a sense of relief. Dont get me wrong, I was starving, literally, but that is my own fault because of the sheer amount of food I had been eating before. Unfortunately, I pinpointed "when" my derailment trip to NYC. I dont do well with change that is so sudden and short lived. Although fun and exciting, I am dealing with the repurcussions of traveling and giving myself too much permission. I say "... Tue, 19 Jun 2012 04:38:38 EST Readustment....getting out of my own way It feels like Im walking down the sidewalk and some idiot steps in front of me going half the pace I am....dont you just hate when people do that! I am of course speaking metaphorically, and right now I am in my own way. This was a rough weekend, not for any specific reason but for many little reasons that just added up. I am proud to say that although I ate more than I should have basically all weekend, I ate clean and still avoided flour and sugar completely. That was hard. My negative self... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 06:36:51 EST Father's Day Ive been sitting here this morning trying to decide what to blog about. My mental state right now is a bit of a broken record. Im feeling unmotivated, stressed and frustrated. I have a weigh in and measurement day on Wednesday and I am sure to see another gain on the scale (I just know it). Clothes have not started to be looser, I am seeing definition in my arms but my stomach (which is my largest problem area) feels like it is pooching more than ever. Bloating, possibly, but not for this man... Sun, 17 Jun 2012 07:04:40 EST Old me/New me I need not look far for inspiration these days. Seeing loose skin hanging from a once heavy frame is daily reminder of how far i have come physically. I have a multitude of clothes, different sizes organized into bins and sized from loosing weight and dwindling down needing pants that fit, wanting a cute top to show off my shape a bit more. Most of the bigger clothes i have given away, i kept my best pieces, and most comfortable for future pregnancies only, not "just in case I... Sat, 16 Jun 2012 05:33:52 EST Grocery Day :) It's my favorite day of the week , Grocery Day! If you are a food addict like me you either dread this day or love, love it! I love scanning the aisles for the best deal, planning my route of attack ( i usually go to about 4-6 different stores), clip my coupons (dont use many due to the clean eating, not many coupons for veges round here), look at ads....I love the whole thing, my families nutrition= my priority, and I love bringing home a new vege, or spice, marinade tip....all kind... Fri, 15 Jun 2012 05:50:12 EST Climbing out of the negative selftalk! I dont know what is going on with me these past days, yes it is TOM, but i think something esle is factoring in also. I was very close to binging last night, in fact the last 2 nights. I feel like I am starving right now, but when i try to eat mindfully I have negative self talk about "not being able to trust my body thats what made me fat to begin with." I want to just put everything on pause and refocus. Possibly switching my rest days to Tuesday was an issue, maybe getting back into the sw... Thu, 14 Jun 2012 05:32:46 EST Sleep habit explained (and other ramblings) I never know what to name a blog before I tart. Quite often I have in mind soemthing I want to write about and then I begin, I get completely off topic, run out of time or just plain forget. So I usually title my blog after I write it. <BR> <BR> So let me explain, briefly my sleep issues. I am apparently a morning person now, by some cruel twist of fate. I think it started when I was pumping (breast milk) for my 2nd daughter, I would wake every night at 12 and then 4 to pump making sure to ... Wed, 13 Jun 2012 05:30:52 EST Not Happy with yesterday I had a leg workout scheduled yesterday which does not include cardio since the leg workouts leave you feeling shakey by them selves, but I had a very hard time combating the negative self talk yesterday. I was "somewhat" successful food wise, still ate clean, but was ravenous and munched while making my meals. So the disappointment with myself talked me into adding another ST/cardio session in the middle of the day. Now dont get me wrong, this is a better place to be then face deep in my pan... Tue, 12 Jun 2012 05:36:21 EST Super Plus...Challenge accepted And epic fail. Im like a waterfall over here. Yesterday I expected a slow star but its been like a faucet that wont turn off, although normal for what im going through (first one since December 2010) not fun. The hormone part is no fun and I forgot about the cravings and hunger. Im mean yesterday I woke up at 2:30 am and my stomach was growling! I think I ate every2 hours yesterday, including having to come home in the middle of running errands to eat something healthy (chicken, farro, rutabe... Mon, 11 Jun 2012 05:41:17 EST That used to be me I would like to send out a formal appology to all the people in the world who ate clean before me. I used to laugh at you, thinking you were nuts and starving yourself on iceburg lettuse. I thought your food choices were strange and you were constantly depriving yourself of REAL food. I though you were wierd and I had nothing to learn from you. I was wrong! I feel like a cloud has been lifted and like the song says "I can see clearly now the rain is gone!" I eat the most delicious, amazingly ... Sun, 10 Jun 2012 05:26:00 EST Another party today i have 4 nephews and today my sister is throwing my oldest nephews party (he will be 9 at the end of the month but are doing it early to have school friends). Oh joy. Here we go again, crap food, stress about bringing my own food, no one talking to us, bratty kids. Sounds like fun doesnt it? <BR> <BR> But im going prepared, not that you would expect any different from me right. Ill have my food, Matt's food, and the kids will have eaten something healthy before we get there to counter balan... Sat, 9 Jun 2012 05:26:03 EST Pure Proof! So I know I already blogged this morning, but i just had to add this here. My new routine is working out thekins...I get up in the morning do stretches and strength, then I eat fruit and protein, blog and then cardio (about 30 min after eating sometimes more). Well I was not feeling the cardio this morning. I was grumpy, legs hurting and discouraged with my substitutes due to my misplaced cable handles. I could hear that "negative" talk chanting in the back of my head: <BR> -"Well you did car... Fri, 8 Jun 2012 07:36:18 EST Ah hormones.... Despite my kids having wonderful behavior I feel like I yelled at them all day. Today will be different, and im just waiting for "shark week" (as my friend calls it, im stealing this). I have not had a regular period since giving birth to my surrobaby (10/27), and the hormone therapy has ended, and as they put it a normal bleed should occur. Normal my ass, I know how this goes. Let just say Id like to not leave the house for at least the first 4 days, but not an option. <BR> <BR> I got up t... Fri, 8 Jun 2012 05:40:52 EST Finding my new routine So with both kids home all day (my oldest now on her summer break) I am trying to find a new routine that works. Instead of being able to workout after dropping Mollie off at school around 9:30 I am trying to do all my working out before they wake up at 7. Lucky for me yesterday they slept in. The adjustment is messing with when I eat also sinc I dont like to work out without eating. Ill figure it out. <BR> <BR> Today I workout legs which is always my nemisis. I am not doing the lunges due ... Thu, 7 Jun 2012 05:43:51 EST Cheese and Nuts Well I learned on my trip i cannot be trusted (YET) with cheese or nuts. I weighed out perfect portions of each to help supplement for snacks since I needed meals that were easy to carry around while I was in NYC walking. I was prepared but a single serving of either doesnt satisfy me at all! How do people just have 2 oz of cheese and thats enough, i thought I would starve!! And nuts, come on, if they are so damn good for you why do i get so few. Im sure i didnt help my husband and kids were ... Wed, 6 Jun 2012 05:06:59 EST Home again, Home again, Jiggedy Jog :) Drove home from NYC laste night, only took us about 8.5 hours! Great time! Im not sure where to start. We had a wonderful time. We were there for a Bat Mitzvahbut snuck up a day early (without telling anyone) so we could have an entire day in NCY to explore (hubby used to live there) and sight see with the kids!It was the girls first time there and they really loved it! We also had reserved our hotel room for an extra night without telling anyone so we could leave when we wanted, and would ha... Tue, 5 Jun 2012 06:33:43 EST Ah Hormones... So sinc eI returned from LA 2 weeks ago I have been on estrogen patches. Let me tell you I have been loopy and cranky, emotional and starving! Not a good combination for me a self admitted food addict. Yesterday I was totally famished, shaking it was so bad. I wasnt depriving myself at all, just focusing on paying attention to my body sensations but my schedule was all screwy. I only had an apple for the car which I inhaled. When I got home for lunch, I couldt believe how hungry I was. I ate!... Thu, 31 May 2012 04:59:13 EST Say WHAT! So i take my girls to the park yesterday. The sun was out, it was hot, and I needed to get out of the house after the packing frenzy had begun! There was one other mom and her little girl almost 2. So after about an hour the dark clouds rolled in and it looked like and felt like rain was coming. The other mom (who i had exchanged a polite hello to when we got there, not being a person who can easily just start up a conversation with a stranger) walks up to me and out of nowhere say "Did you r... Wed, 30 May 2012 04:56:05 EST A Tuesday (disguised as a Monday) I know its tuesday, but with the long weekend the whole day is going to feel like Monday! I need to stay cognisent of the fact it is Tuesday since I have tons to pack and get ready for my road trip on Friday. Basically I have 3 days! O My just typing that I can feel the anxiety. To do lists are not complete, they are priority 1 for today after my workout of course. <BR> <BR> I have to say I am sore after yesterdays run. Since its new for me, thats not unusual i guess. I had a hard time gett... Tue, 29 May 2012 05:15:53 EST I did it and no one was chassing me with a knife! I had a huge accomplishment today. I ran for the first time ever. I went early morning by myself (since hubby was off for the holiday) to a local lake trail. I think its is around 2.5 miles around. I ran the whole damn thing! I was just so proud of myself. Of course the last half I was running for shear fear of pissing myself but thats another topic for another day. Point being I did it!. Still waiting for the runners high to kick in though.... <BR> <BR> I was confident I could do it since I... Mon, 28 May 2012 19:34:13 EST Prepared...over prepared I prep everything. I have cut veges (peppers, celery, cabbage, summer squash, zucchinni, onion) in a seperate container in the fridge for easy grabbing to make salads. Every morning after I eat my breakfast, I prep (weigh out precooked steel cut oats and greek yogurt in a container with grated ginger) breakfast for the next morning for both my husband and I . I have a ton of cooked veges (currenty eggplant, steemed cauliflower, steemed broccilli, cooked carrots, steemed sweet potatoes) for qu... Mon, 28 May 2012 05:29:46 EST Control...(long) For me it is all about control. I want to and try to control everything. In times I am not in control I freak OUT, stress and worry about the situation and then turn to food. Because after all what I put in my body is something I can control, so at the point of super stress and abcolute fear and worry all I want is something to make me feel good. Food feels good. But the irony is by giving in I am letting the food control me. Now the key is to remembering this in the middle of a crisis. <BR>... Sun, 27 May 2012 05:37:32 EST Mindful Eating cntd.. Again today I practiced mindful eating. Lunch was a bit odd. I made my food and I think I had let myself get too hungry because halfway through I realized I was not as hungry anymore. I had munched on steemed cauliflower while preparing my food (something i need to stop doing....did it again at dinner with broccili). I weighed my protein (6oz) and grain (4oz) to make sur eI didnt go over and to have an acurate calorie count for later. <BR> <BR> I ate 2/3 of it and set it down. SAY WHAT! I s... Fri, 25 May 2012 19:55:56 EST It's going to happen anyway... So a "friend" (starting to think i use this word a little too loosely) commented on the program I am doing, LiveFit. She was complaining that 12 weeks was too long of a commitment, and she posted a link on my FB to another program she thinks I should do with her instead. I didnt even click the link, but i was mildly insulted since it focuses on belly fat (WTF is she trying to say...guess i need more focus on my abs :/). <BR> <BR> I understand we all want results fast to motivate us to keep ... Fri, 25 May 2012 04:55:39 EST Calling myself a Food addict To be perfectly honest realizing that I am a food addict saved my life! Through the FA program I lost my weight (140-150 lbs), I learned to love clean eating, I changed the way my whole house eats, I bonded with my MIL (who started it all), I have inspired others to do the same and I have been able to really LIVE while doing the emotional/spiritual/mental work involved. I have learned so much about myself, I have grown and changed beyond recognition. I have a better attitude and I am more con... Thu, 24 May 2012 05:39:07 EST Mindful Eating Day 2 So yesterday I really tried to pay attention to my body sensations and hunger cues. This was what I did : <BR> -I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I didnt feel the hunger pains (im guessing that is what being satiated but not full is). <BR> -When I put food on my plate I put a reasonable portion on and told myself if i am still hungry (real hunger, not just the feeling "yeah, i could eat") I could have more. <BR> -When I put protein on my plate I didnt weigh it first, I cut what I tho... Thu, 24 May 2012 05:19:30 EST Mindful eating Inspired by a sparkfriend (Rckinmom776) I have decided that I am going to practice mindful eating today. Usually at night I enter in all my food for the next day. I know whats in my fridge, veges cut ready to go, protein available all my food prepped just needs to be served and sometimes warmed (although I usually just toss it all in a big bowl and eat.) I have my meals timed so i know exactly when to eat them to stay on track with my next meal/workout. <BR> <BR> The problem lies with me be... Wed, 23 May 2012 04:51:47 EST