MISSB8604's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MISSB8604 MISSB8604's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ What’s Up With MissB8604? – Weeks 176 - 178 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760244 Nutrition: Much better the last 3 weeks, doing the best I can to watch my portions without a lot of restriction. <BR> <BR> Water Intake: Excellent. <BR> <BR> Exercise: Not a lot, been too busy. I really miss Zumba and will definitely be going back. <BR> <BR> Show Biz News: <BR> We have opened and we opened with standing ovations! Here are some pictures of our show for your enjoyment! I’m so blessed to be a part of this show and truly love my cast. I’ve made some really close friends an... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 11:20:19 EST What’s Up With MissB8604? – Weeks 174 & 175 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5746399 Nutrition: Not good, but not because of depression. I've been eating what I want and haven't been paying attention to my portions. I've relaxed a bit too much and need to reel it in quite a bit. My veggie intake has been terrible as well, so that's something I'll definitely be focusing on in the next few weeks. While I normally don't drink a lot, the last month or so I've had quite a few cocktails and I can feel it. It has been fun, but I cannot make alcohol consumption a weekly thing as it h... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 13:03:54 EST What’s Up With MissB8604? – Week 173 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5736806 Nutrition: Not good at all. I was going through a bout of depression Saturday through Wednesday which was of course, bingetown. Scones, ice cream, chips, you name it. Terrible stuff. My body was NOT happy and got me good yesterday. <BR> <BR> Water Intake: Decent. <BR> <BR> Exercise: Dancing rehearsals. <BR> <BR> Show Biz News: <BR> We're beginning to get costumes for SHREK and it's so fun to see all of the fairytale creatures comes to life. Unfortunately, I'll be in a full body bear cos... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 14:39:25 EST What’s Up With MissB8604? – Week 172 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731344 <em>539</em> <em>283</em> <em>283</em> <em>539</em> <em>283</em> <em>283</em> <em>539</em> <em>283</em> <em>283</em> <em>539</em> <em>283</em> <em>283</em> <em>539</em> <em>283</em> <em>283</em> <em>539</em> <em>283</em> <em>283</em> <BR> <BR> HAPPY EARLY FOURTH OF JULY SPARKBUDDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Nutrition: Good. I’ve been eating a little more than usual the past couple of days, probably emotionally based. Will do better to try to reel it in and process m... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 13:20:35 EST Too Much To See http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730638 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1530048412.jpg"> <BR> Me and my Aunt in 2005, the day we buried my Granny <BR> <BR> “Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder, <BR> So I can't look back for too long. <BR> There's just too much to see waiting in front of me, <BR> and I know that I just can't go wrong.” - Jimmy Buffett Wed, 2 Jul 2014 14:02:42 EST Science, You Get On My Nerves! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5729193 Check it out guys, ugh! <BR> <BR> <link>ajcn.nutrition.org/content/early/201<BR>4/06/25/ajcn.114.090548 </link> Mon, 30 Jun 2014 16:01:21 EST What’s Up With MissB8604? – Week 171 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5727117 Happy Friday SparkBuddies! <BR> <BR> Nutrition: Not too bad, I’m proud of myself! <BR> <BR> Water Intake: Could be better, been averaging 1.5 liters a day, will work on it. <BR> <BR> Exercise: Not a lot this week. <BR> <BR> Show Biz News: <BR> Been rehearsing for both shows a lot, driving from one to another on the same day. Overall, everything is going well and I look forward to opening both shows. <BR> <BR> Original Starting Weight (2011): 285lbs <BR> New Starting Weight (2014): ... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 12:10:29 EST What’s Up With MissB8604? – Week 170 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5722070 Happy Friday SparkBuddies! <BR> <BR> Nutrition: Going very well, doing my best to stay focused without restriction. Seems to be working very well. I'm also not as "snacky" as I used to be and can make it quite a long time on one meal if I keep my water intake up. <BR> <BR> Water Intake: Excellent. Averaging 3 or 4 liters a day <BR> <BR> Exercise: 3 hour dance rehearsals throughout this week <BR> <BR> Final Comments: <BR> God has really done amazing things for me and I am beyond thankf... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 11:22:39 EST What’s Up With MissB8604? – Week 170 1/2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5719898 Show Biz News: <BR> I got a call back for the touring and Broadway companies of BOOK OF MORMON! It's this Thursday at 3:30pm PST. The LA casting director will be recording my call back for the NY casting director, so anything is possible. Wish me luck SparkBuddies, this just might be my big break. <BR> <BR> Trying to remain positive and not let my fear overtake me. <BR> <BR> Romans 8: 7 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed i... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 13:37:15 EST What’s Up With MissB8604? – Week 169 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717352 Hi SparkBuddies, <BR> <BR> Nutrition: Going very well, doing my best to stay focused without restriction <BR> <BR> Water In Take: Excellent. Averaging 3 or 4 liters a day <BR> <BR> Exercise: 3 hour dance rehearsals throughout this week <BR> <BR> Show Biz News: <BR> This morning I auditioned for the touring and Broadway companies of BOOK OF MORMON. It was awesome and I KILLED it. They told me they’d contact me if I got the gig via e-mail, so now I wait. <BR> I’m currently in a fantastic ... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 17:22:10 EST It Is Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715825 SparkBuddies, it’s time to let go of the baggage. As most of you know (probably because I talk about it so dang much), I’ve gained 65lbs back from my lowest weight of 185 and 50lbs back of my original goal weight of 200lbs. I’ve finally come to terms with my 2nd rock bottom and have decided to give weight loss a real, honest try. I have a lot on my plate which includes my depression, sleep issues, work, 2 shows, a relationship, parent issues and bills but I feel like if I focus and keep going... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 13:49:51 EST Three Seconds To Decide http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712096 Life hits you hard. But it takes you three seconds to decide if you are a superhero or not. I am. - Hrithik Roshan <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/1/l719071298.jpg"> <BR> <BR> (This picture was taken on Wednesday when my friends and I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain. I'm on the far right.) Fri, 6 Jun 2014 12:44:33 EST It's Official: My 2nd Rock Bottom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5706913 Yep, this blog is one big ol' pity party. You've been warned. <BR> <BR> For the past 6 hours I have cried off and on, knowing that I've ultimately failed myself and have turned my back on my goals. Life got in the way and I let it completely destroy all of the effort I put into weight loss. I don't feel like I should be a SparkMotivator or even a success story because I don't feel like I am one. There isn't anything about my story that could motivate someone else to succeed because I certain... Fri, 30 May 2014 16:10:45 EST I'm Doing The Charleston! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5700844 I have eradicated my credit card debt! WOOHOO! <BR> <BR> Next up, student loans. Oy. Thu, 22 May 2014 14:02:28 EST Proud B Keep On Burnin' http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5700171 Had an excellent session with my shrink today who said that I was so strong and that I was working so hard to try to get a hold of my Depression. She also told me that I was such a good person and that she sees that I want to do well so bad, and that it is obvious that I really want to thrive. <BR> <BR> Made me proud. It's always nice to hear that your efforts are being noticed by your health care professionals right? <BR> <BR> It's the little things... Wed, 21 May 2014 16:57:56 EST Ma, Don't Go! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5699239 So, I’ve already failed my 21 day challenge. Sheesh, that didn’t take long. It’s my fault; I accept it and will keep trying. <BR> <BR> Today, my mother leaves to go to the east coast to help my cousin and his family. Nothing serious has happened, she’s going over there to visit and to help out with his three kids. As much as my mother and I have our issues, I’m going to miss her severely. I cried on Sunday about it, I ate myself into oblivion last night and cried this morning as I said good... Tue, 20 May 2014 13:04:04 EST 21 Day Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698369 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1816202255.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Wish me luck! I'm totally going to try it. Mon, 19 May 2014 11:19:21 EST What/Where/When - My 2nd Rock Bottom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5695720 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/6/l267481815.jpg"> <BR> In 2011, I hit my very first rock bottom with high cholesterol, a fatty liver and blood pressure that was through the roof. Acting, singing and dancing were difficult as I simply couldn’t maneuver my almost 300lb frame on stage without becoming extremely out of breath. That spring, I went on a medically supervised diet and for 2 weeks straight drank protein shakes. 800 calories was all that we could have and absolutely N... Thu, 15 May 2014 13:07:57 EST Not A Lead, But Always A Leader! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5691476 I have no idea of where I was going with the title of blog...lol <BR> <BR> Anyway, I did accept a role (Mama Bear) that isn't as big as the part I wanted (Dragon) but it'll be fun nonetheless. I'm excited and look forward to working with a new theatre company! Our run is the 1st 3 weeks in August. Yay new gigs and yay new people! <BR> <BR> Here are some pictures to give you an idea as to what I may look like on stage: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l201104794... Fri, 9 May 2014 18:13:50 EST I Can SEE A New Lead Part? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690776 Hey SparkBuddies, <BR> <BR> 1). I got new glasses! You don't know how long I've been waiting for these suckers since I broke my other pair. They're comfortable, cute and I love them! <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2052237315.jpg"> <BR> <BR> 2). I went out for SHREK THE MUSICAL last night, got called back and will find out if I got the part tomorrow morning. WISH ME LUCK! <BR> <BR> 3). I've started to track my food pretty religiously again, just to get an idea of w... Thu, 8 May 2014 18:55:18 EST Decisions, Responsibility, Obsession & Questions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5685768 While it has been really nice not to have to think about my food intake, the additional weight that I’ve gained over the last few months has already shown itself in larger clothes. BRITT831 can certainly attest to my meltdowns about wearing a 16 and now, an 18 again. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly weight creeps on and how long it takes to get it off. I don’t feel good about it, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it either. I’ve done plenty of that, my spirit is exhausted becaus... Fri, 2 May 2014 12:39:29 EST Depression or Not http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5682585 Depression or not life goes on and this weekend was no different. While I wasn’t feeling well enough to go to dinner with a friend Thursday and see a friend’s show Friday, I could not miss the benefit on Saturday night and a friend’s wedding on Sunday. Once Saturday rolled around (after a mini meltdown because I miscalculated my budget for the next two weeks), I was numb emotionally, but got myself dressed to go. <BR> <BR> It was amazing. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 16:42:23 EST My Kingdom for a Dress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5674306 Next weekend is a huge benefit for the LGBT theatre company that I’m a proud member of. We need the money badly and our board/company managers have pulled every resource they have to make this a success. It will most certainly be star studded (including a very famous golden girl and ex-Supreme!) and we hope to erase all of our debt with tickets sales, donations and auction proceeds. All that being said we must dress to impress in black and white. I absolutely adore wearing gowns and am very e... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 11:21:31 EST In Three Years http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5673576 Three years ago today was the first day of the rest of my life. I’m in awe of how time has flown and how quickly things change. Despite the weight gain, I’ve worked hard and am so much healthier than I was then. I saved my own life (along with my liver) and am grateful that my doctor back then scared me thin or at least thinner than I have ever been. I thought about writing a long drawn out blog talking about my journey, but you know what? I'd rather not. I'd rather let my journey speak for i... Wed, 16 Apr 2014 12:25:38 EST I Wish... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5671589 These lyrics are from INTO THE WOODS, an amazing musical that features the stories of very well known fairytale characters. In this scene, Cinderella feels so much despair that she goes to her mother's grave which also has a tree that has grown because of her tears over the years. Throughout the whole musical, Cinderella sings, "I wish.." She wishes for a prince, a happy life and a family. <BR> <BR> Cinderella: <BR> I've been good and I've been kind, Mother, <BR> Doing only what I learned f... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 22:54:58 EST Underneath A Butterfly http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5668415 While on my lunch hour walk, I was fortunate enough to come across a butterfly. I adore butterflies and have loved them for a very long time. While I prefer seeing any butterfly, monarchs hold a very special place in my heart. <BR> When my grandmother died, I was visited by a single monarch butterfly every day for a week as I would walk to class. Not only would this same butterfly specifically come to me, but it would almost hit me in the head (which is something my grandmother would love to... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 16:57:17 EST The Scale Never Lies: The Hard Reality of Weight Gain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664359 It doesn’t matter how hard I work out (I didn’t this week, only 182 fitness minutes so far), it’s all about what I eat. Eating a second meal after dinner and/or inhaling an entire box of cheese nips will only make my belly bigger and my ability to fit semi-comfortably into my 22s again. Even when I read (which is a passion of mine), I feel like I HAVE to eat something. It’s ridiculous, but it’s my reality. <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, I’m back to a weight that I haven’t seen in over 2 years. I’... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 13:45:04 EST Behind The Curtain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662639 Part of my identity is synonymous with my career in the theatre. Even though putting on a show takes a huge toll on me physically and at times mentally, it makes me very happy overall. I feel alive, comfortable and safe. Some might say it’s because I hide behind it, some might say it’s because I don’t have to live my life for a few hours a day. Perhaps they’re right. For a lot of actors, it IS a way to escape, to put energy into something that feeds their souls. Fine, it is for me too I will ... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 12:38:09 EST Tackling My Debt! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5657104 <em>52</em> <em>48</em> <em>334</em> <em>208</em> <em>104</em> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> I’m proud to say that I’m on my way to be free of credit card debt! So far, I have managed to eradicate the debt I accumulated (which honestly wasn’t much compared to others; around $200-$500 on each card) for my Target and Lane Bryant credit cards. Next is my B of A credit card which will be paid off at the end of May. SparkBuddies, I am beyond proud of myself. I’ve wanted to pay them all off for s... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 14:35:36 EST Life Is Absolutely Nuts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655368 Happy Monday SparkBuddies, <BR> <BR> My weekend was very good overall, having a lot more time has been really nice. With me not being in a show, time is something I have a lot more of and I’m grateful for every extra second. <BR> This past week I have been cleaning, organizing and re-decorating my room in hopes that getting rid of the clutter will cheer me. It HAS. It’ll take me a good while to complete everything to my liking, but I have a feeling things will be a lot clearer for me mental... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 12:33:23 EST Incorrect Thinking About Exercise http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5651536 SparkBuddies, my thinking about exercise is pretty bad. I think of it as this chore that needs to be completed before my day can continue or end. It annoys me to no end and I don’t look forward to it at all. This obviously won’t help me lose weight or stay fit. When I’m there on the track, in the park or in the gym I’m glad I’m there. 95% of the time I enjoy it and feel better when it’s done. <BR> <BR> Why the constant fight with myself? <BR> Why do I roll my eyes whenever I look at my sche... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 11:52:49 EST Redecorating My Outlook http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5650743 Like any 20-something, I’ve wanted to move out of my parents’ home and get my own place. Until very recently, I couldn’t afford it and gave up looking for a while. The last couple of weeks I’ve been looking pretty feverishly and found a gorgeous apartment that was just what I was looking for. I applied the next day and found out a few days later (yesterday evening) that I was denied. Stemming from an already emotional day for whatever reason (stupid Depression), I was pretty devastated. For t... Tue, 18 Mar 2014 11:56:00 EST You Told Me So: My Second 5k http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5649871 Hi SparkBuddies, <BR> <BR> Yep, you all were right, there was NO need to be nervous and I did just fine. In fact, I beat my previous time by 1 min and a few seconds. HA! It’s still a win in my eyes, even though it wasn’t very much. My legs are still pretty sore, but overall, I’m feeling really good and am proud of myself for trying as hard as I did. I'm glad I did it and I'm even thinking of doing another one in April. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l10396694... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 11:25:38 EST Staying Focused Amidst Chaos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5647867 I’m extremely proud to say that I’ve lost 6lbs and am back in the 220s for the first time in months! While I am proud, I’m also nervous about being able to stay on track amidst a lot of the stress I’ve been experiencing the last few days. For me, as I’m sure many others, stress means the munchies. For the past 2 nights, I’ve either over eaten a bit at dinner or have grabbed a small snack when I should be in bed. The weekend is a huge issue for me often because I sort of “let it go” and tend t... Fri, 14 Mar 2014 16:45:06 EST Skinny Fat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646977 In an effort to keep focused on my program and to relieve some stress, I'm doing some reading. I went off my program last night and do NOT want to go backwards. Nipping it in the bud now before it gets too far. <BR> <BR> <link>www.stylelist.com/read/skinny-fat-da<BR>ngers-of-hidden-fat/?icid=maing-grid7%<BR>7Cmain5%7Cdl13%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D453183 </link> <BR> <BR> Let me know your thoughts SparkBuddies! Thu, 13 Mar 2014 12:47:40 EST Better To Blog It Than Eat It http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646231 I don’t know why I’m so friggin’ nervous about my 5k this Saturday, but I am. I’ve done one before, but even then I was super nervous. <BR> <BR> Here are some reasons why, they may be silly and ridiculous. You’ve been warned. <BR> <BR> What if my heart bursts during the race? <em>28</em> <BR> What if I get lightheaded? <em>198</em> <BR> What if I don’t beat my previous 5k time? <em>234</em> <BR> What if I get really hungry? <em>29</em> <BR> What if I collapse? <em>24</em> <BR> Wha... Wed, 12 Mar 2014 13:34:54 EST All In All http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5643064 SparkBuddies, I'm PROUD of myself. I've made major progress and I rocked the goals I set out for myself yesterday whilst singing The Weigh-In Blues. <BR> <BR> I will NOT eat after I see my friends’ show tonight. If I have anything, it’ll be hot tea. <em>248</em> <BR> <BR> Unfortunately I had some fries that my friend didn't eat which I wasn't too mad at myself for, but I did have 4 cups of tea while everyone else ate foods covered in syrup. Oh, and everything else was deep fried. I'm sti... Sat, 8 Mar 2014 18:08:33 EST Singin’ the Weigh-In Blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5642175 Singin’ the Weigh-In Blues <BR> <BR> Cue the dimmed lights, set up my mic and get the piano player his drink; it’s time for the Weigh-In Blues. <BR> <BR> Normally, I try to weigh-in twice a week, on Monday and Friday. On Monday my weight was 236 and today, it’s 234. 236 is the highest I’ve seen in over a year of my 3 year weight loss journey. Today is going to be a test in my ability to beat the weigh-in blues, and not give up on the progress I’ve made so far. My rational brain is telling ... Fri, 7 Mar 2014 12:24:50 EST Meatless Miss B http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5641535 I love Asian cuisine. Okay, I love all foods but Asian cuisine holds a special place with me. Last night, a dear friend of mine treated me to Thai Food and I knew I’d be tempted to eat my favorite dish, curry chicken. Since I was able to take a look at the menu beforehand, I saw a dish that I could have without having to break the calorie bank. In my effort to skip meat on Ash Wednesday, I decided to go with a ramen soup with shrimp and tofu. DELISH. I’m so proud of myself! At the end of the ... Thu, 6 Mar 2014 16:57:26 EST Trampolines, Oscar Winning Films, Lunch Hour Walks and Lent http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5640403 I’m jumping all over the place SparkBuddies, hold on tight! <BR> <BR> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <em>549</em> <BR> Yesterday evening my co-worker and I went to a trampoline center for our evening workout. When we first started jumping, it was a lot of fun but then the exhaustion kicked in. HA! We had a blast despite our being out of shape and I’ll definitely be going back for the trampoline class ... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 12:13:01 EST We Meet Again Size 18...But Not For Long http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5638607 This past weekend, I found out that I now wear a size 18. My smallest size ever was a 12, my most comfortable was 14. Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel, but I’m not here for a pity-party. I would say that I’ve definitely failed at this weight loss/weight maintenance thing, but I don’t want to bring anymore negativity to my blog that isn’t there already. Don’t get me wrong, I sobbed my little heart out yesterday, but I have to keep going. I’m not giving up. Even if I cry eve... Mon, 3 Mar 2014 13:09:58 EST Remember How Far You’ve Come http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5634444 This is a letter to myself, but if it helps you my SparkBuddy, even better. <BR> <BR> Don’t ever forget how you used to feel. <BR> Don’t ever forget not fitting on Peter Pan and having to get off the ride. <BR> Don’t ever forget sitting awkwardly on the Symphony Swings because the ride was too small for you. <BR> Don’t forget not being taken seriously for your art because you were too big. <BR> Don’t forget how you played a love interest for the first time last year because you lost weight. ... Wed, 26 Feb 2014 14:25:06 EST 9 Years Gone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5633422 My beloved Granny has been gone for 9 years today. <BR> I miss her with every fiber of my being and wish I could talk to her. I want to hug her, hear her laugh and have breakfast like we used to. Although a part of me wants to wallow in my sadness, I simply can’t. I’ve got to keep going, having faith that she is proud of the person I’ve become. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1750083602.jpg"> Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:08:57 EST Sit and Wait http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5632550 Is it my fate to sit and wait? Wonder what my struggle means. – bare: a pop opera <BR> <BR> If you’ve been following along in my blogs, you know that I recently auditioned for a Disney gig and I now wait to see if I got it or not. Normally, the wait and see game is a norm in the business, unless the gig is so huge that life is on hold because of it. If I don’t end up getting the gig, I’ll immediately look into finding a place near my job and auditioning for another show, preferably Show Boat... Mon, 24 Feb 2014 13:14:28 EST Sugar Why Are You So Fly? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5630116 We all know that too much sugar is bad. I’d rather have something sugary then salty. More and more I’m beginning to realize just how MUCH sugar I tend to eat, even when I’m back to my healthy lifestyle. Everything from my granola bars to fruit has a ton of sugar in it. <BR> I just wonder what would happen if I were to limit my sugar intake. <BR> <BR> Any ideas? <BR> Fri, 21 Feb 2014 12:40:13 EST The Ring and Me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5628409 My aunt who passed away from cancer almost 7 years ago, gave me this ring when I was much younger. At the time, I was almost 300lbs and could barely fit it in on my pinky let alone any other finger. By the time I lost weight, she was already gone and didn’t see my progress. She was my best friend, my mentor and means the world to me. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1996062342.jpg"> <BR> Today, it fits wonderfully and is even a little big! <BR> <img src="http://phot... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 14:07:21 EST Time To Myself: An Unfamiliar Thing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5627411 I’m not used to having a lot of time on my hands. For the last 10 years or so of my life, I have gone from one commitment to another. In college, I thrived on leaving my dorm at 6am and not returning until 11pm. Even now, when I go from work to errands to rehearsal, I love it. Although it does exhaust me quite a bit, I still love it. Now that my show has closed, I have more time on my hands then I’m used to and going to bed at a decent hour is also a foreign concept. <BR> <BR> I miss my cas... Tue, 18 Feb 2014 13:43:25 EST Le Jour De L'amour http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5624008 My BRITT831 was nice enough to surprise me with flowers at work. I'm grateful for her and for her prescence in my life. <BR> <BR> Have a wonderful day SparkBuddies! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/5/l253112280.jpg"> Fri, 14 Feb 2014 13:26:25 EST Writing Out My Anxieties http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5622257 I’m riddled with anxiety today SparkBuddies, let me explain why. <BR> <em>24</em> <em>39</em> <em>234</em> <em>198</em> <em>24</em> <em>39</em> <em>234</em> <em>198</em> <em>24</em> <em>39</em> <em>234</em> <em>198</em> <BR> 1). The show I’m currently in has been receiving RAVE reviews and has touched everyone that has seen it thus far. This weekend is our final weekend and 2 people from a leading LGBT theatre in LA will be coming to support me. I’m a company member of sai... Wed, 12 Feb 2014 12:29:20 EST Don't Even Do It http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5617770 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1252490921.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I fall into this trap A LOT. I want to be better than the next person, lose more weight than another but I simply cannot force things to be the way I want. I've got to accept that I didn't get the part (whatever it may be) and that I don't weigh a certain number anymore (but am working on it!). Keeping those feelings at bay is extremely hard, but is vital to my sanity. <BR> <BR> Accept things you can't change, e... Fri, 7 Feb 2014 11:12:40 EST