MIMAWELIZABETH's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MIMAWELIZABETH MIMAWELIZABETH's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Super Bowl Sunday - Letter to Scott http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3991228 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l392841519.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> Hi Scott... it's going to be Super Bowl Sunday again. I can't believe it will be three years since I last saw you! I remember every minute of that day: you BBQing platters of meat on your patio, the delicious potluck spread, and dozens of friends gathered in your living room watching the game on your brand-new HD TV. <BR> <BR> Remember when you asked who everyone was cheering for, and every single one of ... Fri, 4 Feb 2011 21:40:28 EST Countdown to Palm Springs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3520479 This is my countdown week to me going away from home for a week alone: I rented a small studio-size condo in a Palm Springs resort complex with a huge pool/spa area, and will take time for a "personal retreat." Although I'll miss DH and Kaile, of course, I'm also looking forward to it. <BR> <BR> I wanted to go away two years ago, after Scott died, and lucked into a stay at this isolated, small resort... it was the only one available with short-notice reservations. Then, it turned out to... Tue, 10 Aug 2010 02:36:50 EST Another Step on My Spark Journey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3472160 I wrote the following in my journal yesterday morning, figuring it out in my head as I typed. Because my feelings were so intense, I wanted to do more with it; perhaps post an edited-down version on some of my teams' threads. I decided to "Blog" it (it'll make more sense keeping the time frame in mind). <BR> <BR> I've wanted to blog several times, many many times, about a whole assortment of topics, but I always changed my mind. I finally realized, if I post more Blogs, the ones I wrote a... Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:26:43 EST Celebrating Scott's Life 2010 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2941291 I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to write today, but I know I want to acknowledge the second anniversary of my son's death. First of all, to my many Spark friends & teammates, thank you for your caring & support! <BR> <BR> When Scott was killed two years ago, my life changed in such a way that I will never be the same. I still go to grief counseling with a private therapist two or three times a month. Having "Dr Jenn's" ear, and her support, has been a Godsend. I can say all the selfi... Mon, 1 Mar 2010 06:19:23 EST Another Senseless Death... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2727303 I haven’t posted a blog in a long time – it’s not really my thing – but I feel compelled to write, and I want to share what has happened. <BR> <BR> I am overwhelmed by my emotions. I’m stunned, angry, devastated, and confused. It's been a few days, but these feelings continue to build, so I figured I’d better write about it. I decided to put this in blog form to better share it. So here I am, trying to work it out in my mind. <BR> <BR> Another senseless death and I can't find any reason... Mon, 11 Jan 2010 07:45:11 EST Scott's Special Days 2009 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1830987 It's been a long time since I've posted a blog; I've "written" several in my mind, but couldn't get my thoughts down on-screen. However, Friday, February 27th - the first anniversary of Scott's death - is approaching fast. It will be a tough day, of course, just as the past year has been very difficult. <BR> <BR> DD Aubrey and SIL Mike have driven up to Santa Barbara (he attended UCSB) for a few days. Mike has been organizing rock climbing trips for some time, and Scott became an avid p... Thu, 26 Feb 2009 04:39:11 EST We're going to a party... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1345099 Tonight is the big party my stepdaughter has been planning to celebrate her dad's (my DH's) 60th and her grandmother's (my MIL's) 80th birthdays. <BR> <BR> It's turned into a family reunion, with people flying and driving in from all over to attend. The big celebration was supposed to be a surprise, but neither of them would cooperate with the "we're just going to have a small party" planning. <BR> <BR> My hubby was being especially difficult - don't know why. He didn't want anyone invi... Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:21:46 EST Slowly working on getting it together http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1262630 The last month-plus has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. After an especially rough grief counseling session, I crashed and burned... I stayed down and out for a full week, completely off-line and self-isolated. <BR> <BR> Then, somehow I made a move forward. I started with the baby step of opening my email, deleting my spam and reading the personal messages. Then, slowly, I gathered the Spark emails in one folder, and came back to SP. <BR> <BR> Over the next week or so, I caught... Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:24:21 EST A Realization - A New Start with Hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1182908 I had a realization. This is probably a big "DUH", but it took this long for me to truly understand it. I've been floundering for several weeks, both emotionally and physically. I've been binging for at least three weeks, turning to food for comfort even as I know it's not helping in the least. I'd get overwhelmed and crawl into a cocoon, losing days at a time. <BR> <BR> I seem strong to others - my faith is strong, and I AM strong in some ways - but inside of me, I know I'm falling apa... Fri, 2 May 2008 17:56:16 EST A Memorial to my son Scott http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1169149 Please take a look at the Memorial DVD I created for Scott's funeral. It was difficult to do, but is a good remembrance. I watch with Kaile to help her remember her beloved Uncle Scott. He's in her life, in all our lives, even now. <BR> <BR> You can watch it on YouTube - just search his name, "Scott Buehler," or click the link below. Thank you all for the messages and comments, thoughts and prayers. <BR> <BR> <link>www.youtube.com/watch?v=AopgOKaOUwY </link> Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:34:59 EST One Year Spark Anniversary http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1127487 One year ago I finally had the courage to take a look at Sparkpeople.com and committed to truly trying to change my way of living. So much HAS changed since April 2007... <BR> <BR> This past year brought learning about Spark and making baby steps toward health; the upheaval of the water damage in our apartment, which eventually led to our landlady forcing us out of our home altogether; my daughter's magical, wonderful, beautiful wedding on the PV cliffs; the stress and fallout from our tra... Mon, 7 Apr 2008 23:59:01 EST Information about my son Scott http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1043514 (this photo is Scott walking his lil' sis Aubrey down the aisle) <BR> <BR> I was able to talk to the neighbors who witnessed my son Scott's death. They said he seemed to lose consciousness BEFORE he fell, rather than slipping as reported. They said he suddenly stopped and went limp, then fell headfirst in a freefall, quietly, not calling out, nor trying to catch or brace himself. We believe he passed out from the pain of his back injury, and that is why he fell. <BR> <BR> My son Scott's ... Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:00:45 EST My son Scott was killed. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1040851 My son Scott was killed this afternoon. His 28th birthday is next week. I just finished making arrangements to donate his organs & tissues. I can't think now of all that has to be done - but I'll have to face it tomorrow. <BR> I don't know when I'll be back on Spark, but wanted to quickly let you know why I won't be on the boards for awhile. He was an amazing, wonderful young man. Please think of our family and his many friends. We are devastated. <BR> Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:38:06 EST I'm back... still coughing & wheezing, but BACK! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=973968 Hello to all my wonderful Spark friends and teammates! How much I have missed you ALL… <BR> I haven’t been online – not just not-on-SparkPeople, but not on the computer – since last Thursday, January 24th. <BR> I’ve been very ill with “Winter Respiratory Distress Syndrome,” i.e. that really bad cold that’s been going around. I started with symptoms two weeks ago, but thought I was getting better, so went out on the 25th for a busy and fun time with Kaile. <BR> I dropped into bed that ni... Wed, 30 Jan 2008 23:51:06 EST Are Your Toes Out? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=882679 Back in 1993, I felt I was doing fairly well in life. I was married, working part-time, raising five children, and volunteering at church, the kids’ schools, and in the community. I was happily pregnant, and late in the year fulfilled a dream of mine: as a surrogate mother, I gave birth to a healthy baby for another couple. From most people’s perspectives – and aside from a very difficult marriage – “I had it all!” <BR> Early in 1994, I read an interesting magazine article that touched a ... Tue, 1 Jan 2008 17:18:53 EST When good plans go bad... Christmas Eve http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=871855 I had a food-stress experience yesterday that was strange for me. The problem is, I wasn't even aware of the positive choices I was making, so I don't know how I did it! I didn't even connect the dots until I was writing in my journal today. <BR> Yesterday was Christmas Eve Day, our big family celebration - and all our plans fell through. First, my kids couldn't come over in the daytime to share our day with Kaile (DH's 3-almost 4-year old grandbaby), who was to come over for the day. Tha... Tue, 25 Dec 2007 21:15:44 EST Can Food Be An Addiction? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=867411 I posted this as a thread in several of my teams, but wanted to put it in a blog/journal entry too. I read an article by some "expert" that said sugar cannot be an addiction, and that people who say so are just being lazy and using that as an excuse to overeat. Needless to say, I was quite steamed!!! <BR> <BR> If you look at the classic "Ten Warning Signs of Alcoholism" and substitute eating for drinking/food for alcohol, how many apply to your life? For me, the number is SEVEN. I do no... Wed, 19 Dec 2007 23:26:27 EST Insurance Company Woes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=858332 Have I got some insurance stories that are real doozies... <BR> I finally got help from my medical group (it was the medical group bureaucrats that administered the insurance and not the insurance itself that was - how to say? being idiotic?!?) by contacting a lawyer, learning about medical malpractice, and writing a letter myself threatening to sue them. <BR> I met with the owner of the medical group company and his lawyers, he appointed a patient advocate to guide me (who truly was on my ... Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:26:57 EST Back to Day One http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=855081 I'm fresh out of the shower - my first shower in five days. I've spent the last couple of hours working on Spark, catching up the written notes I've kept and straightening out my Spark trackers. I started looking at email notifications and posts too, but I know I have to write about what happened these last few days. <BR> I hadn't been on Spark for three days, so there was a lot to catch up. Oh, I was doing well in the real world - really well as a matter of fact - for most of that time. The... Sun, 9 Dec 2007 01:37:58 EST ANOTHER VACATION!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=785403 My husband's on vacation again (third time in three months), and I am NOT going to allow his down time to contribute to my getting lax on my goals!!! <BR> I need labs again, and I vow to stay on a healthy food plan before going, so my numbers will be the best possible for my blood sugar and triglycerides. <BR> I warned him last night, no more bringing home donuts and cake for me, and no eating out this vacation. Plus, I told him about the Weekend Survival Team's challenge for this weekend;... Sat, 13 Oct 2007 20:25:44 EST It's my Birthday, I'm a Rock Star! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=758860 OOOOOO - a day of ups and downs, and it's only half over. A big realization: <BR> Mom never made it to her 51st. I miss you Mom! And I promise to live enough for the both of us for as long as I can!!! <BR> <BR> I spent a lot of time today on a short novella in response to an inquiry on a thread, so I'll put it here for today's journal: <BR> <BR> "Elizabeth...I'm curious about your brain injury. Could you tell me how it occurred and what the residuals are? If you feel uncomfortable talkin... Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:11:53 EST End of Vacation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=757723 Bob's vacation is officially over, and despite my apprehension, it went very well. I can't believe the week went by so quickly - he goes back to work tomorrow, and I'm really gonna miss him! <BR> We had a really relaxing week together: shaky at first, still struggling with all the upheavals the past few months, but then we regained our emotional footing. I needed him to back off and not pressure me about unpacking; he was able to do that at last, and relax himself as well. <BR> Plus he ... Mon, 24 Sep 2007 00:02:37 EST Medical Research Study http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=747371 Today I saw an article in SP's Health News section related to the enteroviruses that have created such havoc with my daughter's health these last two-plus years. When I read it, I realized it's about a medical research study her doctor, Dr. John Chia, recently published. <BR> It's especially exciting because since being diagnosed two years ago, Aubrey's been of one of his human guinea pigs!!! We know how hard he has been working to research and document his work. <BR> I thank God we had... Sun, 16 Sep 2007 10:07:48 EST I'm moving my ticker... : ( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=744137 I am finally facing the scale again after weeks of "forgetting" to weigh in at the start of the day. I've weighed the last few days, and the numbers land pretty solidly up about five pounds from where I was before the cruise, and two pounds up from before the wedding. <BR> All the emotional and physical upheavals have made it difficult for me to be consistent. Or is that blaming the circumstances, and not taking responsibility for what I should have done? After all, life is usually a ser... Thu, 13 Sep 2007 16:09:56 EST Where were you when the world stopped turning? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=740118 The following is a description of the morning of September 11, 2001, in the small bubble that was my life. <BR> <BR> I was heading up the freeway in bumper-to-bumper traffic to the Federal Courthouse in downtown Los Angeles for an 8:00 a.m. court date. The DA's office was trying to prosecute a criminal case against my ex-husband for "felony child abandonment," for non-payment of child support to the tune of almost $50,000. <BR> This was the fifth or sixth court date in almost three years of... Tue, 11 Sep 2007 05:24:24 EST Is Your Diet Making You Fat? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=729802 This is a Motivation article on SP - a summary is below, and here is the link for the full text: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/Nutrit<BR>ion_articles.asp?id=588&page=1 <BR> <BR> May I just say, "YIKES!!!" & "Holy Cow!" This is me, this is so ME, and I didn't even realize it. I thought I had it all figured out in my mind. Tonight I read this article - NOT for the first time - and it is a real eye-opener for me. <BR> I MUST work on my long-term vision and commitment. Here is the ... Tue, 4 Sep 2007 05:58:29 EST Candlelight Vigil http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=725874 Isn't it amazing what comes out when you just let yourself write freely? I decided to post for the first time on the Candlelight Vigil thread, which is a monthly event on the Personal Journey Through Grief Team. This is what came out: <BR> <BR> To my parents: Mom died of cancer on January 25, 1976; Dad died from complications from a heart attack/surgery on January 17, 1989. I may be over 50, but I'll always be your little girl. I miss you both so much. <BR> <BR> Mom, I especially miss th... Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:16:08 EST Aubrey's Wedding http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=714549 My daughter Aubrey was married to her fiance Mike on August 19th at 6pm, on the cliffs of Rancho Palos Verdes above the Pacific Ocean, on a beautiful sunny day with great ocean breezes, and a gorgeous sunset during the evening. <BR> Although the last two days were hectic, the wedding went off very smoothly, and everyone had a really good time. The ceremony, flowers, decorations, tables, food, staff, cake, music, gowns, setting, you name it, were just beautiful and yummy and perfect!!! <BR> ... Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:07:30 EST Asbestos, part 5 (the Landlady from Hell) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=678551 Have you ever had an argument with your hubby about something which you are sure he is being stubborn and unreasonable, but there's nothing you can do to make him listen to reason...??? That was my Saturday night. <BR> <BR> We've only had about five really upsetting disagreements since we've known each other (11-plus years). Neither Bob nor I ever really "let loose" and express ourselves angrily (yell, insult, etc); but I feel the emotion of it in my chest, stomach and head, so I've been f... Mon, 30 Jul 2007 20:22:49 EST We'll call this: Asbestos &%$#*&@#, part 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=660861 I am in my apartment on my own computer! No, we are not home yet, and I have no idea when - OR IF - we'll return. <BR> I had my husband drop me off at 4 am on his way to work this morning, and made a path from the door of our bedroom to the computer. I am finally going to catch up on all my emails, banking, etc, and of course spend as much time on SP as I can. <BR> ONE MONTH FROM TODAY: Aubrey's Wedding!!! <BR> We had a quiet evening alone together last night, celebrating our 7th annivers... Thu, 19 Jul 2007 09:47:28 EST Asbestos Adventure, part 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=658149 Well, I feel like I have been away for a long time... I've been staying on task as much as possible, recording all my food and making the best choices of what is available to me. <BR> Bob and I are staying at his mom and stepdad's, the home where he grew up, in his old room. Coincedently, yesterday was my hubby's 59th B-day, and today is his mom's 79th B-day. Oh, and tomorrow is our 7th wedding anniversary. It's WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD!!! <BR> Normally we'd be on vacation for this birthday-an... Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:29:10 EST Asbestos Abatement, part 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=652136 It's been six days, and a lot has been accomplished! Good news overall!!! <BR> First, I called my son (despite my hubby's insistance he could do all the work by himself), and Scott came with his truck and strong young muscles to help him move the packed boxes and small furniture to our storage room (Bob got over it!). That helped a lot by clearing out the spaces, so we could see what was left to do. Unfortunately, my daughter Aubrey had suffered a small relapse; no ER visit, but unable to ... Fri, 13 Jul 2007 20:25:30 EST Asbestos Abatement http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=641788 Here's my latest challenge: it's physical on one hand, but most of it is emotional. I need to work through the feeling of being overwhelmed, and help my husband get the physical tasks done. <BR> While there is no asbestos contamination in our apartment now, there is asbestos in the material used in the ceilings. As the ceilings need to be torn out to do the repairs needed due to the water damage, everything WILL get contaminated. <BR> So we have to completely empty the living room and spare... Sat, 7 Jul 2007 22:08:09 EST ACTION STEP: Record and track your reason for eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=632339 This is the action step that can - WILL - make the most difference for me. When I think of doing it, that it. I've only done it a few times, but it really helps me slow down and think first about what I'm putting in my mouth - which should help a lot with "mindless eating," or the uncontrolled "I can't stand it, I'm losing my mind, I gotta eat!!!" eating. <BR> <BR> #5 Eating on Purpose Action Step: <BR> This may be a question you never asked yourself before: "why are you eating?" <BR> For... Sun, 1 Jul 2007 20:44:46 EST What's up for the 4th of July? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=629738 With my family and our activities, a holiday isn't much different from a regular day, at least that's the way I look at it food-wise. Temptations are available 24/7, so I look at holiday food as just part of an overall package that needs to be planned and managed. <BR> This also helps me mentally, so I don't feel as threatened by special events. This was a REAL problem in the past, and would lead to binges - not AT the special event, but afterwards, when I was alone. <BR> My kids are out of... Fri, 29 Jun 2007 17:40:39 EST So, how did you wake up? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=613854 So, Saturday morning I was jolted awake by my hubby Bob pouncing on me and yelling, "there's water coming through the ceiling in the living room! Get up get up get up!!!" <BR> The last few days have been - I'm not sure, what is the correct word? Chaotic, but really, not that chaotic. Overwhelming, but... really, it could have been so much worse. I keep telling myself that, and I KNOW it's true - I look at what the elderly couple upstairs (where the pipe burst), and the family in the apart... Tue, 19 Jun 2007 16:46:20 EST Wedding coming soon on August 19th http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=607176 My daughter Aubrey, who had been very ill for almost two years, is getting married on August 19th, It's fairly small, an outdoor wedding and buffet-with-DJ reception at a whale-watching museum's banquet room, perched high on the cliffs above the Pacific Ocean. She's my only girl, so it's the full-on, Mother of the Bride, girly girly stuff, and I am loving 99% of it! <BR> The groom's mom is causing problems, but we are looking at the long-term issues and trying not to get caught up in the de... Thu, 14 Jun 2007 23:11:09 EST 4 of 5 = 80% http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=601223 The above is a special math equation for my family. I solved it, three years after suffering a brain injury. I hadn't been able to recognize most numbers, repeat or write numbers down, and struggled greatly doing simple arithmatic. In addition to the language and memory problems, this made keeping my job as a secretary, and daily life, difficult. <BR> Then one day, my children were playing a game, lobbying math problems back and forth, and disagreed about an answer. I said, "no, Aubs is r... Mon, 11 Jun 2007 14:24:52 EST FLYING...!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=597494 This is something I've been wondering about - have any of you had this experience? <BR> When I was a kid, I thought I could fly. Not that I was dreaming I could fly, but that I actually WAS flying. I thought I had this amazing secret power. <BR> Once everyone was asleep - I wouldn't go to sleep until everyone in the house was in bed and quiet - I would finally close my eyes and relax, lift up off my bed and float out the window, and then fly over all the landscape. It was a beautiful, peacef... Fri, 8 Jun 2007 16:55:08 EST Forgiveness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=596033 There was a thread on a message board that piqued my interest and really made me think. <BR> I don't like being labeled as "emotionally unhealthy" when I don't think I'm doing anything unreasonable, but that is the idea behind "you have to forgive those who wrong you, to truly move on and heal." <BR> I never really focused on that ambiguity, or analyzed the conflict between the standard wisdom and how I feel. <BR> So this thread really made me think: <BR> WHAT IS FORGIVENESS? <BR> <BR> Her... Thu, 7 Jun 2007 18:24:20 EST ATTITUDE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=590421 I don't know the original source of this writing, but it's something I need to remember and remind myself every day - especially today. <BR> <BR> <BR> ATTITUDE <BR> The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude in my life. <BR> <BR> Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, ... Mon, 4 Jun 2007 16:12:50 EST Goals for 2007 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=574349 My 2007 goals are to build healthy habits in regulating my sleep schedule, the content of my food, and completing activities & exercise. <BR> <BR> That's rather grand, and obviously too much all at one time. I started with a few specifics, and now am adding one new goal/habit at a time, as the earlier goals become more instinctual or less challenging. I find that part - "Track Other Goals" - on the SparkPoints list very helpful. <BR> <BR> I think this is the first time I haven't gotten ob... Thu, 24 May 2007 12:27:46 EST First Things First... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=572973 Okay, I've had a good week-plus, but haven't been able to come on the computer and really spend time like I'd like to, especially reading the message boards. So first things first - after I transfer the info on my paper notes into the food and fitness trackers - I'm going to catch up as best I can on the threads I've been thinking of the most. In between laundry, dishes, vacuuming... I feel so energized today!!! YEAH!!! Wed, 23 May 2007 14:42:50 EST MOTIVATIONS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=567431 MOTIVATIONS for Weight Loss <BR> by Spirit Angel, May 20, 2007 <BR> <BR> M - Make short term goals <BR> O - Out with the negative thoughts <BR> T - Think of why you want it <BR> I - Imagine how you will feel <BR> V - Visualize the future you <BR> A - Acknowledge your successes <BR> T - Treat yourself with respect <BR> I - Investigate new ideas and foods <BR> O - Observe your healthy lifestyle <BR> N - Never give up and never give in <BR> S - Support one another Sun, 20 May 2007 01:49:36 EST SABOTAGING MYSELF http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=559540 I blew it last night. After nearly a week of doing really well, sleeping every night, calories on track, eating fruits and vegetables, moving and stretching and even some real sweat exercise, I got STUCK STUCK STUCK last night. <BR> I wanted to binge so much, and I did eat, but continued to weigh and measure to stay accountable. Crunching and sucking on mints helps to keep me from binging on sugary-fatty stuff, which would be a lot more calories and more destructive content-wise as well. S... Mon, 14 May 2007 15:50:39 EST A Man Fell into a Deep Hole http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=552942 There's a story from Alcoholics Anonymous that applies perfectly to SparkPeople: <BR> <BR> A man fell into a deep hole and couldn't get out. <BR> A clergyman happened by, saw and listened to his predicament, and said "I'll pray for you." <BR> A therapist came by, saw and listened to his situation, and wrote a prescription. <BR> Then his friend walked by. His friend heard the man calling for help, and came to the edge of the hole. <BR> "Can you help me get out?" the man asked. "Sure," sa... Wed, 9 May 2007 18:41:59 EST "I won't give up because..." message board http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=535696 It's Saturday afternoon, Bob is at AJr's baseball game and I'm supposed to be going to out to shop (food and needs). I'm not feeling down, I promise I'm not. But when I came across this message board and realized I couldn't say ANY of the things I normally would - my kids, future grandkids, Kaile, Bob, my health, new clothes, an active retirement, whatever - I thought it would be best if I actually said so. Maybe it will help me figure out why and how to change it. <BR> <BR> "I've read ov... Sat, 28 Apr 2007 19:50:28 EST "Good & Bad Foods" vs. "Healthy and Less Healthy" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=533695 I try not to label foods as "GOOD" and "BAD"; rather, they are "healthy," "less healthy," and "only once in a while." <BR> I try to see different foods in terms of the portion sizes and the frequency of servings I should choose to stay on my plan. A 100% denial isn't necessary, as long as I stick to my overall plan to reach my goals. <BR> <BR> Bagels are actually very low in fat, have a good amount of protein, and are filling. More damaging than the bagel is what's put on top of it. I have... Fri, 27 Apr 2007 08:51:31 EST Trying to find fitness answer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=533035 I thought I had found a way to "contact the experts" to ask a question that isn't answered in one of the articles or boards. I really looked hard, all around, to find something that would address my question, and it's not there. I thought I could directly ask a Fitness Expert, but I guess I'm being blind, because I can't see how to do it. <BR> Turns out, the email address "support@sparkpeople" is for technical support questions. They were very nice, though, and really tried to answer my qu... Thu, 26 Apr 2007 18:08:12 EST Doctor's attitude and a Rant http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=531425 When I specifically sought therapy in 1994, it was to focus on and deal with abuse issues from my childhood, and work on the ways I felt they were still impacting my life negatively. <BR> The first thing my therapist did was to prescribe Paxil. I did fine on it, no side effects, and I assume it was helpful because the therapy went very well. <BR> However, after ten months, I fell and smashed my head on a concrete floor, suffering a concussion and spinal injury. The only course of action fro... Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:07:45 EST