MILLISMA's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MILLISMA MILLISMA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Farmer John http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780257 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, <BR> the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his <BR> free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week. <BR> <BR> So Farmer John called the local police station to complain, <BR> "You've got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens," he said to the local police officer. <BR> <BR> "What do you... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 10:59:38 EST Yup, I can relate!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5779338 <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1284073000.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/0/l600631752.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1659859606.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1535946652.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1286277672.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 21:52:06 EST The Grandmother of all Blonde Jokes..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5778488 <BR> <BR> <BR> Sorry to all my blonde friends but I am laughing!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokers and how all blondes are perceived as stupid So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. <BR> <BR> While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand... Fri, 12 Sep 2014 09:56:52 EST POLITICAL OBSERVATIONS!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777142 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l171146972.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. <BR> ~Oscar Am ringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism." <BR> <BR> I offered my opponents a deal: "if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them". <BR> ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952.. ... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 09:45:04 EST Really???? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5776435 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. <BR> Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart <BR> piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward <BR> looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?" <BR> <BR> (Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?) <BR> <BR> ---------------------------... Tue, 9 Sep 2014 09:41:20 EST Plant Your Garden of Daily Living!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5775128 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/9/l696715843.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> "Life is too short for drama, so laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!" <BR> <BR> <BR> How To Plant Your Garden of Daily Living <BR> <BR> First, you come to the garden alone, <BR> while the dew is still on the roses. <BR> <BR> <BR> and the first thing you plant is three rows of peas: <BR> <BR> <BR> 1. Peace of mind <BR> 2. Peace of heart <... Sun, 7 Sep 2014 11:39:25 EST OMG! Someone hacked my picutres!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5772212 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/2/l529396427.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/4/l445286991.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l488999501.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1113132080.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l135632734.jpg"> <BR> <BR>... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 22:07:15 EST And now I know!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5771436 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/3/l838706493.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1311425446.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/3/l937534776.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Makes sense to me!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>247</em> Mary Anne <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Mon, 1 Sep 2014 21:17:37 EST Better Than a Flu Shot! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5770661 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Miss Beatrice, <BR> The church organist, <BR> was in her eighties <BR> and had never been married. She was admired for her <BR> sweetness and kindness to all. <BR> One afternoon the pastor <BR> came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint <BR> sitting room. <BR> She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... <BR> As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young <BR> minister noticed a cut glass <BR> bowl sitting on top of it. <BR> The bowl... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 19:52:16 EST Spaghetti!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5766594 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1527769500.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian <BR> woman. One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant. <BR> <BR> Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a <BR> large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the <BR> child. Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide <BR> child... Mon, 25 Aug 2014 09:17:53 EST It's the Doorway!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5761375 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. <BR> <BR> <BR> Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and p... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 11:03:47 EST The Young Priest http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760227 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/7/l472761294.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, ''You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.'' The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, ''And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young peop... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 11:04:44 EST Docor Dementia Strkes Again! Yes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5759519 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Here's another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills... <BR> <BR> Can you meet this challenge? <BR> <BR> I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you. <BR> <BR> 7H15 M3554G3 <BR>... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 10:06:50 EST Happy "Hump" Day!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5758852 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Remember to share a smile today. You never know who might really need one!!! <BR> <BR> On my way to spend the day with mom and dad. My cousin, his wife and daughter will be stopping in to see them on their way back home to Boston. Should be a fun day. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l392275282.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/9/l496399053.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 10:08:47 EST Retirees!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5743284 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." <BR> <BR> They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. <BR> <BR> The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! <BR> <BR> What'll it be, gentlemen?" <BR> <BR> There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a ma... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 09:19:42 EST Don't Break the Elastic!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5742044 <BR> <BR> <BR> You have probably read this before but it is one story I've always loved and told by such a lovely lady. Here's to Maya Angelou...may her words live on forever!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Don't break the elastic! <BR> In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. <BR> And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting..' <BR> Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day.....like... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 11:03:31 EST Two Boys!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5735927 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1293677223.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Two little boys, ages 5 and 7, are excessively mischievous. <BR> They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. <BR> <BR> The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. <BR> <BR> The preache... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 09:36:26 EST Love your computer???? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5734435 <BR> <BR> <BR> Don't know if this ever really happened but thought it was great and had to share. Many of us can relate!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." <BR> <BR> In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press rel... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 09:50:11 EST Angels explained by children!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5733017 <BR> <BR> <BR> Thought these would be appropriate for a Sunday! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1757118097.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold. <BR> Gregory, age 5 <BR> <BR> <BR> Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. <BR> -Olive, age 9 <BR> <BR> <BR> It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. <BR> Then you go to H... Sun, 6 Jul 2014 10:32:49 EST Julie Andrews Turning 79 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5732395 <BR> <BR> <BR> To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music'. Here are the lyrics she used: <BR> <BR> FYI: If you sing it, it's especially hysterical!!! <BR> <BR> Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting, <BR> Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, <BR> Bundl... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 09:23:56 EST Happy Story for the Day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731949 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Look carefully at each picture for the cat as it makes its way down from the roof to the dog. <BR> Then, check the explanation at the end. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/8/l286765015.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The story behind this picture is this: <BR> Every day - at the same time - she waits for him. <BR> Sometimes she barks to call him. <BR> He comes; they rub and greet each other <BR> And they go for a wa... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 13:29:54 EST The Front Porch!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731254 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." <BR> <BR> The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" <BR> <BR> And God saw it was good. <BR> <BR> On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 11:06:12 EST Senior Walmart Greeter!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730416 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Charley, a new Retiree-Greeter at Wal-Mart, couldn't get to work on time. <BR> <BR> He was 5, 10, 15 minutes late, but he was a good worker, tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded, a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies. <BR> <BR> One day, the boss called him into the office for a talk. <BR> <BR> "Charley, I like your work ethic. You do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late is bothersom... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 09:30:43 EST I've been taking a spark break....sorta!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5729730 <BR> <BR> Yes, I have been absent a lot lately. Life has gotten in the way or maybe is just taking up more of my time. I have been getting on to track but have not had time for much else. I've felt guilty that I have not kept up on posts, blogs or the friend feed. I use to always welcome new members to the teams that I am on and have stopped doing that. <BR> <BR> Things took a major turn when I finally moved my parents from a facility in Maine (12 hours away) to one that is now about 2... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 09:40:29 EST Happy Easter from me and the "bunnies"!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5676279 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1341554341.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/0/l709534019.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Wishing you all a very blessed day. I am back but my spark time is very limited. It will probably be a bit before I'm back in "full swing". Miss all of you. <BR> <BR> big <em>247</em> Mary Anne Sun, 20 Apr 2014 10:43:26 EST So, you think you're having a bad day!!!! Plus update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5665575 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1504658333.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she ran outside and grabbed a handy plank of wood and smacked him with it, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been ha... Sun, 6 Apr 2014 10:14:28 EST Exercise!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5663297 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/4/l244803800.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> This has been me lately! My sparking is hit and miss. I am getting on to track and trying to read blogs and posts but things are really "flying". If nothing happens, I will be heading to Maine on the 14th and by the eve of the 15th, will be bringing my parents down to live about 20 minutes away from me instead of the 12 hours they are now. Mom has to travel by transpor... Thu, 3 Apr 2014 09:08:35 EST A Good Reason Not to Mess With Kids!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5661536 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah ... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 09:01:37 EST For all the Grandmothers!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660703 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A grandmother is like an angel who takes you under her wing, she prays and watches over you and she'd give you everything <BR> <BR> <BR> Grandmas hold our little hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever <BR> <BR> <BR> Grandmas are mommies with frosting <BR> <BR> <BR> Mommy knows a lot but grandma know EVERYTHING <BR> <BR> <BR> If Mommy says NO - Call 1 - 800 - GRANDMA <BR> <BR> <BR> Grandmas never run out of hugs and cookies <BR> <BR> <BR> Whe... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 10:06:55 EST Senior Humor!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5659954 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l185430747.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1202811563.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1832773134.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l484492237.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/9/l593133256.jpg"> <BR> <BR... Sun, 30 Mar 2014 10:55:47 EST Children are Quick!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5659433 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> TEACHER: Why are you late? <BR> STUDENT: Class started before I got here. <BR> ____________________________________ <BR> TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? <BR> JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. <BR> ________________________________________<BR>__ <BR> TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' <BR> GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' <BR> TEACHER: No, that's wrong <BR> GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me ... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 16:22:42 EST The $5.37 Burito!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5658742 <BR> $5.37! <BR> <BR> <BR> That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. <BR> I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. <BR> Having already handed the <BR> kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change <BR> when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. <BR> He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." <... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 15:34:39 EST Liver and Cheese!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5657713 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The tree male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. <BR> <BR> The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hope for just a glance from her in return. <BR> <BR> Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be k... Thu, 27 Mar 2014 10:07:03 EST Beach Humor!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5656890 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A friend sent this to me and just had to share!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One <BR> summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She <BR> wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one <BR> thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance <BR> around and then speak to them. <BR> <BR> <BR> Generally, the people would respond negatively... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 09:56:20 EST Guess I won't complain about the snow anymore!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5656077 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I do remember snow like this many years ago.....don't ever want to see that again! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2006556934.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/6/l864523707.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/9/l895751610.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1516249373.... Tue, 25 Mar 2014 10:02:53 EST Italian Funeral!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655203 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Pasquale died. His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral. <BR> <BR> As the last guests departed his service, his wife Angelina turned to her friend. <BR> <BR> "Ah well, Pasquale would be pleased," she said. <BR> <BR> "You're right," replied Maria, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. <BR> <BR> "How much did this really cost?" <BR> <BR> "All of it," said Angelina. "Forty thousand." <BR> <BR> "No!" Maria exclaimed, "It was very grand, but $40,0... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 09:44:54 EST Baptizing An Irishman!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5654449 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk shouts, "Yes, oi am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you fou... Sun, 23 Mar 2014 09:29:24 EST Why Teachers DRINK!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5653822 <BR> <BR> <BR> Received this in an email....not sure if it's true but made me laugh!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The following questions were set in last year's GED examination <BR> These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) <BR> <BR> Q. Name the four seasons <BR> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar <BR> <BR> Q. How is dew formed <BR> A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire <BR> <BR> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on <BR> A. If you are buying a ho... Sat, 22 Mar 2014 10:16:11 EST SENIORS - MOSTLY THE MALE ONES!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5653144 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> No one believes seniors . . . <BR> everyone thinks they are senile. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved “I love you, Sally”. <BR> <BR> On their way... Fri, 21 Mar 2014 11:00:09 EST THOUGHTS OF THE DAY - GRANDPARENTS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5648517 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild <BR> <BR> <BR> Grandparents are the footsteps to the future generations <BR> <BR> <BR> On the seventh day God rested, his grandchildren must have been out of town <BR> <BR> <BR> Grandparents are similar to a piece of string, handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren <BR> <BR> <BR> Never have children, ONLY grandchildren <BR> <BR> <BR> Grandchildren :... Sat, 15 Mar 2014 15:38:28 EST FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5647188 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I use to watch this with my grandmother!!! If you've read these before, they're still good for a chuckle!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1531171612.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they were later in the show. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Q.. <BR> Paul, what is a good reason... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 19:01:59 EST Old people's jokes!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646435 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Scotch with two drops of water <BR> <BR> A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. <BR> As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.' <BR> The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. <BR> In fact, this one is on me. 'As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a <BR> drink, too.... Wed, 12 Mar 2014 19:57:52 EST A Little Humor!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5645607 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> LOT'S WIFE <BR> <BR> The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "And she turned into a telephone pole!" <BR> <BR> ________________________________ <BR> GOOD SAMARITAN <BR> <BR> A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw ... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 19:23:31 EST Got Milk???? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5644655 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their <BR> mid-term exam. The last question was, <BR> 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' <BR> The question was worth 70 points or none at all. <BR> <BR> <BR> One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven <BR> advantages However, he wrote: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 1) It is perfect formula for the child. <BR> <BR> <BR> 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. <BR> <BR> <BR> 3) It is ... Mon, 10 Mar 2014 16:35:39 EST Philly Flower Show - Part 4 (final pics) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5643241 Am home from a wonderful trip to NYC with the Swedish Museum. Our first tour was a stop at the National Academy Museum to see the display of art by Anders Zorn - a very renowned Swedish Artist. We also got to tour the rest of the museum which was formerly the Archer M. Huntington Townhouse. Later it was off to the Swedish Church for a tour and a traditional Swedish lunch - an open-face sandwich of sliced Swedish meatballs topped with beet salad plus a tossed salad. This was followed by co... Sat, 8 Mar 2014 22:47:16 EST Philly Flower Show - Part 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5642453 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Can you see the bird? It's carved from a piece of wood. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1145038382.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1896456459.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1511825693.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l210855514.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="htt... Fri, 7 Mar 2014 21:02:24 EST Philly Flower Show - Part 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5641657 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1617633560.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1352328740.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/1/l911638201.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/6/l960742327.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1689678485.jpg"> <BR> <B... Thu, 6 Mar 2014 20:37:40 EST Philly Flower Show - Part 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5640777 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I think I finally found spring and maybe even summer!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1285157544.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/3/l234004825.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1972279047.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1158485422.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 20:39:36 EST Phone Update!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5639389 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 1 - phones our kids have now <BR> 2. phones our kids had when they were six <BR> 3. phones we had when we were six <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/2/l420416080.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1097755056.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2019684997.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>247</em> Mary Anne Tue, 4 Mar 2014 10:19:17 EST Finkelstein & Jesus!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5638484 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Don't think God/Jesus would take offense to this; after all, He must have had a pretty good sense of humor when He created us and blessed us with the gift of laughter!! :) <BR> <BR> <BR> A little chuckle for today.......... <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided that he really needed a new robe. <BR> <BR> After looking around for a while, he saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor. <BR> <BR> So, he went in and m... Mon, 3 Mar 2014 11:06:55 EST