MICKIWILD's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MICKIWILD MICKIWILD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I AM MARRIED!!!!!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5607119 So on January 11th, I turned the big 30 and as a treat for me birthday my boyfriend( now husband tee hee) decided that a trip to Vegas was neccessary and who I am to turn down a trip to Vegas. <BR> <BR> We spent a few days planning the whole adventure, what shows we wanted to see and where we wanted to eat. Gordon Rasmay's steak was on the top of the list and we were able to spend my birthday supper there, but I will get to that. <BR> <BR> So we left January 9th and landed in the sin ciyt... Mon, 27 Jan 2014 11:51:12 EST When the Man gets you down! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5467946 So lately it seems like negativity is every where you go, at work, at home and out in the public. <BR> <BR> It is all to easy to let what other people say or do and how other people feel after what we say or do and how we feel and that can lead us down a bad path. I know this all to well and to be honest have been guilty of letting negatity ruin me, and run me, especially when it comes to work life. <BR> <BR> Recently I was listening to a podcast from Jillian Michaels, if you dont know ... Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:52:27 EST Food Hangover http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5466677 Have you ever expeirenced a food hangover? <BR> <BR> Well I certainly did this weekend! This weekend was my really close friends Bridal Shower/Stagette and since I am part of the wedding party I was part of the planning. I did my best to keep things healthy for the shower, we had fresh fruit and veggies, so lean chicken and ham for sandwiches served a lot of water and tea. I did not eat any of the bread since the other two ladies that helped me plan insisted that white bread was more neutr... Mon, 26 Aug 2013 10:40:39 EST Bad Weekend, Bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5459811 The one habit I can never seem to break is the emotional eating one! <BR> <BR> This weekend was soo bad for it too! My family came to visit and of course my brother and sister in law love junk food, so there was chips and pop galore at my house. At first I was able to resist the urge to taste and then well that was thrown out the window when we decided to watch a few movies. I tried to keep things like breakfast and lunch really healthy, lots of fresh fruit and veggies, salads and lean prote... Mon, 19 Aug 2013 11:17:50 EST Feeling Free http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5401774 So yesterday I started my 10 week half marathon training program, even though it was a bit difficult, mostly due to lack of consistency, I have to say that it felt great to get out there and run.. I find that I am an emotional eater and it is very bad when I am stressed. <BR> <BR> Lately work has been pretty stressful and full of pressure and instead of eating myself into a stupor I set out on the trail. When my set was done I was in a much better mood and felt lighter.. I felt as though a ... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 21:14:25 EST It meant nothing I swear http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5355837 Diet, <BR> I dont know how to tell you this, its something that Ive been meaning to tell you for some time now. Its not somthing I'm proud of but I just have to lay it all on the table. I cheated on you today. I know what you are going to say, I promised it wouldn't happen again but I really just couldn't help it. Therenwas a connection there, an attraction that I had been denying for months and I just couldn't take it any longer. I tried to tell myself how much better off I was.. how you ... Tue, 14 May 2013 00:46:47 EST Optimistic http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5335386 Today , I have a bit better of an attitude than I have had for the past week. Today I am optimistic, I really feel like things are going to get better because I have decided to change, and look at a few options, which means I have a few decisions to make. <BR> <BR> The first decision I have made was to ask for help with my weight loss and fitness goals. I have sought out the advice from a personal trainer / nutritionist. She is running a biggest loser program for free( wow) she is going ... Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:08:11 EST Again and Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5334634 Well, this week is definitely testing me, I know what I need to be doing in order to get where I want to.. but I am just not doing it. Instead I am eating everything in sight and sitting on my freaking butt because I am too emotionally exhausted to do anything else. The funny thing is, that I know by going out for a run or even a walk.. I will feel better. I just don't have the energy.. Here's hoping that the weekend will allow me to recharge and things start changing at work <BR> <BR>... Wed, 24 Apr 2013 21:38:13 EST Lately.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5332871 So I have resolved to attempt to blog everyday, because I am hoping that by broadcasting my feelings out to the universe I am able to get rid of them inside and can stop dwelling on them. <BR> <BR> Lately I have been feeling like I am suffocating at work, and feeling like it is turning me into a bad employee. I have been promoted to a new position, and it has been something I have been striving for the last 5 years of my career., but now I am drowning. I am overwhelmed, over worked and sta... Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:29:33 EST My name is Micki and I'm an emotional eater http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5331811 I have been an emotional eater ever since my brother passed away, when I was 14. My family I guess is your typical Ukranian/Polish family, we celebrate, and mourn and whatever else you can think of with food, and lots of it. So I guess it makes sense that I eat when I am sad, when I'm happy or bored or stressed or letting loose, and its becoming a problem. But Its a cycle that I dont know how to break, how do I stop letting the triggers affect me, <BR> <BR> Just now as I am siiting in my... Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:28:43 EST Hear Ye, Hear Ye! Step right up and .... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5318474 Well then I don't really know where I was going with that title, but it must have grabbed your attention if you are reading this. <BR> <BR> So you would never guess what I did on Monday, go on guess.. see if you can! <BR> I started yet another day 1 of my journey to better health! Imagine that, its only been the umpteenth( thats a technical term) and one time that I have started all over again, but I keep starting right, so that has got to account for something. I dont want to give up, I jus... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 13:30:37 EST Sometimes you need to look back to move forward http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5026379 Normally I wouldn't agree with the statement in my title.. I think the past needs to be the past, but in this case it has proven to be a good thing. I have gone back and read all of my blog entries since I have started sparkpeople and it has really opened my eyes, A. to have how far I've come and B. to the things I am still struggling with, and it has given me insight as to where I need to go from here. <BR> <BR> I have been on this site for 4 years now and I am no closer to my goal weight ... Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:44:04 EST 19 days and I am freaking out! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5023395 I run my first half marathon in 19days... less than 3 weeks... and lately I have been asking myself What the hell was I thinking??? I haven't trained nearly hard enough, or long enough.. the girls in my running club are far exceeding what I can do.. when did running become work and not fun! <BR> <BR> I decided to do a half marathon back in March thinking it would be the goal and the push i needed to finally get rid of this blasted weight, in the end i didnt lose weight but gained so m... Mon, 20 Aug 2012 13:14:01 EST WAAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOOOOO http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4931473 So I am beyond excited and I just can't contain it! <BR> <BR> On Saturday, I ran my first ever 10k run.. it was absolutely amazing! I finished in 1hr 31 minutes which was my goal and I feel amazing.. I am still on a high from it. I never thought that it was something that my body or I was capable of and I pushed through it! <BR> I ran a total of 9kilometers and had to walk only 1km.. which is amazing..but the most amazing part was my Boyfriend Kyle.. he wasnt even registered for the race and... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 12:02:09 EST Here's to yet another day 1.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4641603 Ugh.. Do you know how many times I have said this is day 1 to the new healthy me.. Probably a million in the last 10 years.. It frustrating but at the same time it's my own fault. <BR> <BR> I don't know if any of you out there are like me, but I tend to give in really easily to excuses. I don't have enough time, I'm to tired.. blah blah blah.. Although the not enough time one is somewhat valid since I am working two jobs and in the process of relocating..( see what I did there) another excu... Wed, 28 Dec 2011 12:01:57 EST I AM SO PROUD!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4310872 Well ladies and gents! <BR> Yesterday morning I completed my very first 5km race.. and let me tell you i feel amazing!! I cant believe it! I never thought in my wildest dreams I would actualy accomplish this goal, it was just going to be one of those I start but never finish things. and now I finished something! A huge thing in my eyes!! <BR> <BR> I didnt intially set a time goal for myself for this race. I just wanted to finish in any way shape or form that I could.. and then I started tra... Mon, 20 Jun 2011 14:21:47 EST STUPID FREAKING DONUT!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4078667 Really need I say more! <em>234</em> Wed, 9 Mar 2011 11:11:25 EST Here;s Looking at you kid! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4006581 Okay so the title of this blog may be a little misleading... but I am huge fan of the 50's era and well have been a little obsessed with Casablanca lately.. <BR> <BR> I cant even begin to describe all that has taken place for me this year, and how amazing I feel, even though I am now where near my weight loss goal.. <BR> <BR> I am happy, and that for me is huge, because I dont really remember the last time I was this happy, and if what i thought was happy, was really happiness at all or som... Thu, 10 Feb 2011 11:12:03 EST I have my struggles but sometimes.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3687221 You just need to say allowed what you are grateful for and things dont seem so bad.... <BR> <BR> I am grateful for the amazing Family and friends that i have been able to surround myself with... <BR> I am grateful that the good lord sent me two furry little angels to make my days brighter and happier. <BR> I am grateful for my house.. a place to live and call my own <BR> I am grateful for all of the the love, support and encouragement from my SP friends... you comments and post and messages ... Sat, 2 Oct 2010 15:56:12 EST It's easy to fall off....................but hard to get back on http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3667533 Why is it so easy to fall off the wagon and lose sight of your goals but so hard to get back on track..... its been a hard year and i have tried so hard to use my workouts as a way to de-stress but i just cant seem to maintain the momentum... <BR> <BR> i need to lose 60 pounds for my health.... <BR> <BR> I just had an appointment with my doctor about my iron levels and it looks like i am expeirencing som iron deficiency anemia... which is causing some chest pains and muscle pains... and i... Fri, 24 Sep 2010 12:39:08 EST Its not how you start........ But how you finish! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2901386 The last couple of weeks... have been the second hardest thing that i have had to face... but I have come to realize now.. that it was probably over awhile ago.. and i was fighting to keep it because i loved him.. and part of me was clinging to the him i that he used to be and not who he become..... <BR> <BR> Its still hard because i am the type of person who doents know how to love a little...and I wear my heart on my sleeve....but I know that my prince charming it out there... and i know... Fri, 19 Feb 2010 10:48:21 EST SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2844227 <BR> <BR> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<BR>AAAAAAAAAAAA <BR> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH<BR>HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH<BR>HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH<BR>HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> SCREAM.. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Well now i feel a little bit better! <BR> <BR> Thanks! Fri, 5 Feb 2010 10:32:39 EST SANITY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2823065 MY TWO LITTLE DARLINGS... THAT HAVE BEEN MY SAVING GRACE <BR> <BR> TEEKA IS THE TAN COLOR AND COOKIE IS THE BLACK AND BROWN <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/3/9/b399148405.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/3/7/b374474946.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/4/9/b496392659.jpg"> Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:07:36 EST I want to say..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2816522 I want to say thank you to everyone for you words and your belief in my while i am going through the second hardest thing i have ever had to face in my life, the first one being the lose of my brother, I want to assure everyone that I will be fine.. I know that I deserve so much better than what He did to me... but its hard so hard because i put all my trust and faith in him, and what we had and now it sort of feels like a lie..... I have been hearing from everyone that i should just move on ... Sat, 30 Jan 2010 10:57:59 EST When it All Falls Apart...... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2812806 I'm having the day from hell, <BR> It was all going so well (before you came) <BR> And you told me you needed space, <BR> With a kiss on the side my face (not again) <BR> And not to mention (the tears, ashame) <BR> But I should have kicked your (ass instead) <BR> I need intervention <BR> Attention to stop temptation to scream <BR> <BR> Cause baby <BR> Everything is fed up straight from the heart <BR> Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart <BR> Gotta pick myself up where do I start <... Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:02:07 EST No Self Worth http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2808729 I feel stupid, and worthless, and all those other self loathing words you can think of..... He cheated... throughout our entire relationship he cheated.... and with people i thought were my friends and now now he cares more about a girl he wants to date.. from his work ... and what she thinks of him..t hen the fact that i am dying inside and feeling like a fool for ever believing he really truly loved me.... Last night she... the girl he wants to date... came to my house.. our house... and to... Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:46:14 EST MY HEART ACHES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2782964 HE BROKE MY HERAT.... YESTERDAY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (OR SO I THOUGHT) DECIDED TO TELL ME THAT HE WAS NO LONGER IN LOVE WITH ME AND WANTED TO BE DONE WITH OUR 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP.. ... i AM DEVASTATED... FLOORED... AND COMPLETELY HEARTBROKEN.... WE JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE TOGETHER... WE HAVE 2 DOGS... AND IT WAS 5 YEARS... i JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO... AND THE WORST OF IT ALL IS THAT NOW I AM HEARING STUFF THAT HE HAS BEEN DOING, THAT I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT.... AND IT HURTS BECAUSE I FEEL WORTHLESS... Fri, 22 Jan 2010 17:45:05 EST We now return you to your regularly scheduled program http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2667772 Normalcy........ whatever that may be it was I am attempting to achieve with my life right now.... I am hopefully not the only one that was bogged down by the hustle and bustle of the holidays and the fact that there were more sugary treats and sweets, chocolates and cakes to be had then fruit and veggie trays...... It was stressful and let me tell you I dont deal to well with stress.... the whole month of december has had some real lows and only a few highs to balance things out..... Decemb... Wed, 30 Dec 2009 09:37:56 EST And In Other News http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2647656 It appears that the unfamous Mickwild has return to sparkpeople.com today.... sources says that after a whirlwimd weekend mickiwild willingly returned to sparkpeople..... eyewitness says that they have seen her here and there devouring everything in site... Little Johnny saw her in the mall food court...." it was amazing he said, I have never seen someone eat a taco that fast, and it didnt look it was going to stop her"....Later that evening she was spotted by another eye witness, who said s... Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:11:02 EST EXTRA..... EXTRA... READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2642455 MICKIWILD MISSING IN ACTION.......it has been brought to our attention by sources that mickiwild from sparkpeople.com has been missing in action... she was last seen wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt...... we have reason to believe that foul play is not a factor.. but stress from the week may have cause her to go into hiding... the last day she had tracked anything was tuesday.... we do not consider her armed or dangerous.. unless she is stressed and you have chocolate..... if you see this wom... Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:51:59 EST I had a cookie..... but in my defense it did have walnuts and those are healthy right? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2622111 Christmas time....... its so pretty with the snow, the trees, the decorations.. the occaisional caroler that sometimes you wish you could smack in the face with a snow ball...oh thats just me..oops sorry.. well next time they need to wait until december and not novemeber to start with the caroling.. anyway its also an emotional time for me... for two really big reasons... Reason #1... i miss my twin brother... he passed away when we were fourteen.... and its hard.. really hard.. even though i... Wed, 9 Dec 2009 12:50:48 EST Today ... I feel.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2596892 Today I feel horrible..but i cant pinpoint where it is coming from. lack of sleep the headache... the emotional movie from last night... i just dont know... what i do know is that because i was feeling tired, sad, and headache, i felt the need to eat everything that i could get my hands on... cheese icecream, chips, pizza, mcdonalds and i still didnt feel full... the sad this is i felt better.. i guess its a true testament to the fact i am an emotional eater.. and i dont know how to break th... Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:12:25 EST AS I SIT ON THE COUCH..... I REALIZE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2592815 A LACK IN MOTIVAION <BR> FIGHTING SWEET TEMPTATION <BR> THOUGHT IT WOULD COME EASILY <BR> FINDING NO ROOM TO BREATHE <BR> <BR> I WANT THIS DREAM TO FINALLY SURFACE.. <BR> NO MORE STRUGGLE WITH THE PURPOSE <BR> TIME TO BE FREE OF ITS HOLD.. <BR> BREAK OUT OF THE UNHEALTHY MOLD <BR> <BR> TIME TO CHANGE AND AND BE TRUE <BR> FRESH AND BRAND NEW <BR> WITH STRENGTH AND POWER <BR> CONFIDENCE EVERY HOUR <BR> <BR> THE CHOICE IS MINE. <BR> I WILL BE FINE <BR> HEALTHY LIFE HEALTHY HOME <BR> GUESS T... Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:07:11 EST Running on E! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2566428 So the last two and a half months have been an absolute whirlwind of events..... We bought a house, I started my Partylite business.. we rescued our puppy teeka who is now 4 months old and a hand full, moved into the house.... have been busy witht he business, doing shows and trades shows, and we just rescued another dog... so to say that tracking my food and watching the foods that i am eating are top priority would be a lie... i have been tracking for the last week with the exception of fr... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:03:56 EST LEST WE FORGET http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2550227 I bought a poppy from man today <BR> He was wearing his Veterans Best <BR> I stood and smiles as <BR> I placed it upon my chest.. <BR> <BR> Thank you young lady <BR> He turned and said to me.. <BR> No Sir, I said THANK YOU <BR> You are the reason I am free <BR> <BR> Small Tears formed <BR> In the corners of his eyes <BR> Remembering fallen comrades <BR> Spirits in the skies <BR> <BR> So many men and women <BR> Lost to senseless war <BR> Remembrance Day helps <BR> to see what they fought... Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:29:14 EST Calories are abundant! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2539775 So today I realize that I am going to go over my calories... and I am not just talking a little over I mean a lot over..... when i first walked into my work... there were cinnamon buns( fresh) jub jubs, chips and dips and more promised for this afternoon( we just hired some new staff so they are bringing a "buy in" and one that is leaving "buying out".... and if that isnt bad enough we are having a house warming party tonight... which my boyfriend has promised to include appetizers, wings a... Fri, 6 Nov 2009 12:44:16 EST OCTOBER 25TH 2010 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2536546 I have decided to run/walk a half marathon on October 25th 2010 in Niagra Falls Canada.... and to me this is huge... I have always wanted to do one especially after my sister in law completed one in Disney for Joints in Motion to raise money for arthritis.. I mean she was on such a high after she ran.. I figure I need something huge to keep me focused on. <BR> <BR> I feel so blessed to have the support of my boyfriend and my family... my boyfriend along with a friend and possibly my sis... Thu, 5 Nov 2009 10:28:58 EST They were right.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2402365 I must say that they are right when they say weight loss is a long journey towards being healthy with twist and turns, bumps and dips... Trust me I think i have nearly hit them all... I have been at a stand still for months now... and lately have completely lost all motivation to keep going... for some reason i seem to be the type of person who loses so much and then thinks that i am good and can eat whatever again.. then the weight comes piling back on with a few friends and we start the cyc... Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:17:56 EST I AM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2317896 I am.......beautiful <BR> I am..... the type of girl who will dance anywhere...in the car, fitting rooms, at work anywhere <BR> I am.... a huge fan of batman and astro boy <BR> I am.... dday's girl and my mothers daghter <BR> I am.... the type of person who loves to catch fish but not eat them <BR> I am.... completly head over heels in love with my boyrfriend <BR> I am... nothing without my family <BR> I am.... the greatest singer in the world. but only when i am driving in my car <BR> I am.... Sat, 15 Aug 2009 13:47:38 EST Realization http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2312341 With Wiritng my last blog I realized that I was putting way to much pressure on myself to get things done in a certain time frame( marriage, house, kids, and so on) . This pressure was casuing tension between my boyfriend and I and making myself an emotional wreck... <BR> I have decided to make my health and my confidence a priority and that things will fall into place they way that they are supposed to.... I want to thank those who commented on my blog titled "t don't Know" for their words o... Thu, 13 Aug 2009 11:20:49 EST I don't know http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2298005 It seems that lately I have been so been unblievably frustrated, I just feel out of sorts like nothing is going the way i want it to and the way i planned...... I feel that i should be further along in my life than i am.... I am 25 and feel like i havent accomplished enough for myself.... I am still renting and apartment.... I am still trying to lose weight.... and still trying to improve my confidence..... plus at times it feels like abu and i arent even on the same page that we have to tota... Sat, 8 Aug 2009 12:02:48 EST Stand Back Up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2229820 I was browsing through songs on my ipod the other day and i came across one that i dont really listen to nearly enough and it basically sums up this weight loss journey that i am on.. i have tried and failed so many times and this time i am bound and determined to get my life and health in check. I am not going to let anyone or anything get me down.. life is to short to look in the past and be defeated so i say to all you fellow sparkpeople members.... its time for us to stand back up! <BR> ... Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:50:32 EST Letter to myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2208293 Dear Self, <BR> I just thought that you should know that you are one amazing person . You are so many things most of which you do not give yourself enough credit for. Now I know that you are a kinda and caring person, but its okay if you take sometime for yourself and put yourself first for a change. I know that may scare you a bit, because you are so used to making sure that everyone else is happy.. but I think its time to make ourselves a priority don't you agree??? <BR> <BR> Th... Mon, 6 Jul 2009 23:22:59 EST FRUSTRATED http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2154361 I JUST NEED TO SAY THAT I AM FRUSTRATED!!!! FRUSTRATED WITH TONIGHT! FRUSTRATED WITH THE NEIGHBOURS, MY WEIGHT LOSS, MY WARDROBE WITH EVERTHING! ARRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <em>28</em> Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:16:05 EST MY MOM, MY FRIEND http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2035691 With mother's day approahing, I can help but to be worried about my mom.. She is dealing with high blood pressure and has had some hospital scares so far. It terrifies me to think that she may not be around or that one of her scares could turn serious.. <BR> She knows that she needs to start working out and eating healthy , her doctor referred her to a nutriontionist. I think the biggest problem is that she is afraid that if she pushes to hard or does activity that she is not used to that i... Tue, 5 May 2009 13:44:05 EST IT HAPPENS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1996259 This is one of the songs I have been listening to a lot lately and it kinda just describes how my week has been. The band is called Sugarland and the song is called IT HAPPENS.. <BR> <BR> Missed my alarm clock ringing <BR> Woke up telephone screaming <BR> Boss man singing his same old song <BR> <BR> Rolled in late about an hour <BR> No cup of coffee, no shower <BR> Walk of shame with two different shoes on <BR> <BR> Now it is poor me, why me, oh me <BR> Boring the same old worn out blah b... Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:55:50 EST I feel good........like i knew that i would now..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1984197 Nothing like singing some James Brown on a saturday. But it perfectly describes how I feel today... GOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! Last night I went for a great walk with my sister in law and her Dog Ruby, (A gorgeous sheperd cross). Then after enjoyed a wonderful bubble bath with candles and a good book... Today I woke up well rested and excited to get my moputain bike, which will be my mode of transportation for the spring and summer (hopefully anyway). SO YES TODAY I FEEL GOOD!!!! <em>36</em> Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:29:00 EST Yesterday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1981179 Yesterdat was a hard day.... Having to Say goodbye to someone who was so full of life and who was always smiling.. It was a beautiful service full of wonderful memories, and stories from friends.. A celebration of his life the service was called and it truly was. It got me thinking though. Why is it that we celebrate someone's life only after they have passed away, why do we not celebrate it with them when they are living.. Doesnt that make more sense? I mean i know its important to refle... Fri, 17 Apr 2009 11:26:56 EST Sad and scared http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1978491 Today I am sad <BR> I am going to a funeral to bury a friend who died due to a massive heart attack , he was only 38. He has a wonderful loving family and was active with sports. It came out of nowhere. <BR> <BR> Today I am scared, <BR> He was only 38, I know that if i dont make the changes that this could be me, my boyfriend, my dad, my brother, and my mom.. She already battles with high blood pressure, and has had a few scares... I am not prepared to lose any of them, I lost my twin... Thu, 16 Apr 2009 13:06:16 EST Nothing like a good ole shopping trip to get you motivated!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1971943 Well ladies and Gents, <BR> I think I just found the cure to my motivational meltdown..... I went shopping! I mean what could be better than grabbing a handful of clothes, going into a fitting room then dancing, and hopping trying to shimmy your body into a pair of pants that you insist were labled wrong. <BR> I tried on this one pair of pants that I thought I was going to have to get the jaws of life to pry me out of, and they were a 14. <BR> So then i thought to myself, Micki y... Tue, 14 Apr 2009 12:57:28 EST