MICKEYMAX's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MICKEYMAX MICKEYMAX's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ one step ahead http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6448660 My health coach (a perk from work) encouraged me to have 1 vegetable at lunch and one at dinner to help me to kickstart myself to eating more vegetable. I nuked up some carrots tonight and bagged them up to take along with my lunch tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Baby steps is where I am at - and as long as I am doing something positive for myself in the right direction, I am succeeding. <BR> <BR> Little by little, I will get there. Woot! <BR> <BR> Happy Carrots! Sun, 7 Jan 2018 19:58:10 EST Alphabet City http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6447188 A lot of my friends are posting what their "word" is for 2018. I chose one also: Miracles - but upon further introspection, I don't want just one word: I want a whole alphabet. <BR> <BR> A- Ability <BR> B- Beautiful <BR> C-Courageous <BR> D-Determined <BR> E-Energetic <BR> F-Feeling Good <BR> G-Greatness <BR> H-Health <BR> I-I can Do it <BR> J-Journey <BR> K-Kindness <BR> L-Loving Myself <BR> M-ME ME ME <BR> N-Never give up <BR> O-Openness <BR> P-Progress not perfection <BR> Q-Quads (streng... Thu, 4 Jan 2018 12:16:02 EST No Time Like the Present http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6444430 Hello Sparks, <BR> <BR> I've been away from here for a while, but many of you have been in my thoughts. I am taking stock of myself and see what I need to do to be healthier in 2018. It's been quite some time since I really set New Year's resolutions, preferring to think of things as goals, but now i have even given that the heave ho. I've replaced my goals with being on a mission. I am on a mission to make myself healthier. <BR> <BR> This is where i am. <BR> <BR> I am not at a start poi... Fri, 29 Dec 2017 15:33:24 EST One Day at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6396776 Gearing up - ready for the week ahead. I have food I can take to work. I have weaned myself off of stopping to Dunkin Donuts every day, and my fitbit is charging. <BR> <BR> I am happy with my progress and I am doing it one day at time. Sun, 6 Aug 2017 19:32:15 EST Making changes and getting payoffs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6396393 On my "authorized" (set by me) weigh-in day, I had a ready mindset. Good, bad or indifferent, show me scale, how this week's eating has panned out. Am I on the right track? <BR> <BR> A resounding YES! I lost 3.8 lbs since I weighed in last Saturday. I suspect I have lot more, that I was higher before I weighed in, but I am happy recording where I am. It is nice to move out of one bank to another, so today, I am celebrating to be at 439, down from 442.8. Yes, I am still classified as morbid... Sat, 5 Aug 2017 17:41:40 EST It was calling me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6395287 Sometimes, you just have to give in. I tried to steer clear, but my mind was made up --- and I could not deter that intense feeling that told me to go to the kitchen. Not to eat - but to use the scale I recently bought. I should have resisted but alas it was not to be. <BR> <BR> I lost a pound since Saturday. It is not what I wanted to see --- but it is a step in the right direction. Once I am better able to add real exercise into my routine, I know the pounds will come off faster. In the m... Wed, 2 Aug 2017 21:26:02 EST If not me, then who? If not now, then when?: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6394866 I have a new mantra on repeat. Give it all you got. <BR> <BR> That boils down what I need to do to be successful - not just at weight loss, or healthy living, but at life. <BR> <BR> When you find discouragement and negativity in the world, and you let that be an excuse to let yourself go, let yourself down, let yourself off the hook because you hold the mirror up to see the critical eye, and not the positive song, that you could really be singing, then it is easy to say "why bother." <BR... Tue, 1 Aug 2017 22:33:04 EST Reset the Baseline http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6393460 It's been months since I weighed in. Can't remember what it was even. Recently bought a new scale, and decided I will weigh in on Saturday mornings. I clocked in at 442.8lbs. <BR> <BR> My lowest weight in the last 3 years, was 398, and I am working on heading in that direction again. My highest recorded weight was 468.8, and I am still a distance from there. I am choosing to eat fewer carbs, and more whole foods, and hoping this will help me move the numbers in the right direction. <BR> <... Sat, 29 Jul 2017 10:50:33 EST Fat sucks (not me) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6392496 Being fat sucks. No surprise. But, I am working on eating less carbs, and eating cleaner food. I ate what felt like a lot of food today, But a lot of what I ate was fruits and vegetables, and I do feel way more full on less food. I am figuring it out as I go along. No carb is not really the way for me because I need to limit my protein (kidneys) and limit my fat (pancreas). So, my hybrid is sort of lower carb, cleaner food. I feel like I am making progress. I did buy a scale and I need to whi... Wed, 26 Jul 2017 22:40:16 EST The Re-boot http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6390022 I slept well last night. I had mostly uninterrupted sleep minus a massive leg cramp that I am attributing to eating too large a banana. Bananas have a lot of potassium and too much potassium for me is no bueno. I have been drinking lots of water, so I don't think it is a hydration issue. This is not an isolated occurrence, and I have endured many doctor visits to get to the bottom of this which never comes. <BR> <BR> I knocked a couple of things off my to-do list - made an eye docs appt, o... Fri, 21 Jul 2017 00:22:46 EST Mid Week Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6389524 I had a couple of so so days at home. Not depressed, but a bit of malaise - it's hot as hades in the house (the ac is broken except in the bedroom), there is an overwhelming amount of housework to do, and while my mobility has improved, it is not stellar enough to bend a lot and get to the places that need the most cleaning....yet. <BR> <BR> I did a weird thing to shake up my days off this week - I went into work today. I decided I needed to leave the house and go be around humans for a whil... Wed, 19 Jul 2017 18:36:18 EST Dinner Out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6387902 Hubby and I went out for dinner tonight - Mexican - the food was freshly prepared and delicious, except they unexpectedly covered it in sour cream which I didn't care for. I mixed it in, because it was so thick otherwise, and I couldn't stomach it. I ate the chicken out and some of the veggies, but if we ever go again, I will hold the sour cream. Oh well. Live and learn. <BR> <BR> A better surprise though was that we got back out to the car, hubby asked where my cane was. He couldn't believ... Sat, 15 Jul 2017 22:03:38 EST Happy Friday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6387508 Yesterday, our power was out after strong storms, which prevented me from logging in. Luckily, it came back in a few hours. I have to wait until 8pm (EST_ before I can go to bed, because I am monitoring a client's show, but the performance goes live at 8pm, and then I am going to bed! <BR> <BR> So tired! <BR> <BR> Hope you have all had a good week! More soon!! Fri, 14 Jul 2017 19:57:28 EST Pushing towards my goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6386725 I am going head first. I lost the will for a while there, but I feel myself being back on track. Glad I came back to SP. Glad I am meal prepping. Glad I am able to move as much as I am. <BR> <BR> Need to keep at it! <BR> <BR> Wed, 12 Jul 2017 23:27:27 EST Knock Knock http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6386239 Who is it? Oh I know who it is, it is my boss at the door. He got locked out of the office with the automatic locking system. There were still 3 people in the office suite - and I was the furthest away from the door. I got up and let him in though. It was a great source of pride for me to be able to do this. A week ago, I would have yelled to one of my co-workers to let him in. <BR> <BR> I am still having pain, but I am pushing through to the vicinity of 2000 steps a day. This is a major im... Tue, 11 Jul 2017 21:56:28 EST Forward March http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6385844 Today, I made through 2300 steps without my cane. I am feeling better, and getting off to a better start when I get up out of a chair, I do feel more easily to be able to make forward progress. I am still on my slow and steady pace, but I am absolutely improving. Giving up the cane for me seems to be the right choice. <BR> <BR> Tonight, I took a little time to bag up the 2 pints of blueberries that i bought into baggies. I did some on the fly this morning while headed out the door, but i al... Mon, 10 Jul 2017 23:08:30 EST On my way to meal prep http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6385383 I am a believer in meal prep. I watch my husband do it every week. I am not a huge fan of what he likes, and vice versa, but it is impressive how much he dedicates to making his lunches. <BR> <BR> I am moving towards meal prep. This week which is a milestone week for me - I sat down at the table and made myself a week's worth of PBJ on light multigrain bread. I used natural pb and organic jelly. i bought a bag of granola and portioned it out for 5-6 days. <BR> <BR> I also have string cheese... Sun, 9 Jul 2017 21:55:32 EST It Happened in the Bread Aisle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6385021 We went to the grocery store on Saturday evening. I had a painful day and felt like i could barely walk without my cane (minor setback), so I opted to ride on one of the store-provided scooters. It's funny how your perspective shifts when you are in one of those. It is a lot easier to see obstacles in it that I would normally overlook. <BR> <BR> I decided to get some cereal (Kashi) and some bread, which was in the next aisle. As I headed down the aisle, I encountered an older woman coming ... Sat, 8 Jul 2017 23:39:34 EST Make Your Move http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6384622 What are you going to do today to make a move for YOURSELF? This very day, what can you do to advance your goals farther? You do not need to have ALL of the answers, you don't even need to have the end in sight, all you need to do is make the next right step. <BR> <BR> Who knows what the next right step is? You do. Whether deep down or on the surface, you already know in your heart of hearts what is going to move you closer to your goals. Do not be afraid of failure. It is guaranteed we are... Fri, 7 Jul 2017 22:35:05 EST Walk, Rinse, Repeat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6384216 When you show up for your own life, things happen. Good things. <BR> <BR> Day 2 of walking without my cane. I am not 100%solid and not walking at my pre-cane gait, but that is of little current concern. I am moving, and making steps forward. Yesterday, I did 1600 steps. Today, 2100. So I am not setting expectations on myself, other than to try my best --- and that's what I am giving myself -- the gift of caring and trying. <BR> <BR> I am "in check" in many facets of my life. I excel at my... Thu, 6 Jul 2017 21:44:13 EST Hello Out There http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6383800 Hi Spark-pals, <BR> <BR> I hope all is well in your worlds. I have been absent from SP for some time, but I also realized I missed this great community. It is nice to see my account has not gone away. <BR> <BR> Rather than rehashing all of the past, I would like to say that today, 7/5/17, I walked most of my 1600 steps today while NOT using a cane. I have been relying on it, and i think it may be hampering my progress. <BR> <BR> Recently, I also opted into to doing some physical therapy ... Wed, 5 Jul 2017 20:40:57 EST Out of My Comfort Zone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6316679 I entered a writing contest at work today. I have no expectations of winning - but that is not why I entered. I entered because I consider myself to be an excellent writer and I wanted to exhibit my writing skills, and to exhibit my love of working with students to a very prestigious crowd. <BR> <BR> I stepped way out of my comfort zone. I often do a lot of ghostwriting for my boss. I edit a lot of departmental memos, and have been known to write beautiful recommendations and appraisals. Bu... Wed, 15 Feb 2017 20:51:30 EST Tell Me Something Good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6306872 Taking care of yourself as a priority can mean a lot of different things. Here's some steps I have taken that have pushed me to the front of my to-do list: <BR> <BR> I bought a pair of 5 pound dumbbells and had them shipped to work. They should arrive Mon or Tuesday. I also bought a 5 set pack of resistance bands. I am going to try to keep active while at work. I think it will be a huge benefit. <BR> <BR> I sent someone a fruit basket as a housewarming gift, and chose from the post-Christm... Sat, 28 Jan 2017 19:20:16 EST The First Step is a doozy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6306447 Stairs are kind of my nemesis. In the last couple of years, I have had a hard time walking down them. This morning, heading out the door to work, they stopped me in my tracks. <BR> <BR> They are the same 2 steps I climb down every morning when I leave the house,but for some reason, this morning, I felt like I was paralyzed when trying to go down. I recognize that I was having a panic attack of sorts. I don't know how it happened or why, but after about 5 minutes of talking to myself out in ... Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:40:29 EST Small swaps lead to big changes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6305764 I am learning that small swaps can lead to big changes. I am not completely ditching my desire for a hot morning beverage -- and a breakfast from the donut place, but I am switching up bits of it so I am ingesting less sugar, making healthier choices, and having smaller portions. <BR> <BR> I downsized from a croissant to a small wrap, and went from whole milk to skim. If I so choose, I can make another change down the road, but right now I am comfortable where I am in this process, and havi... Thu, 26 Jan 2017 17:38:25 EST Eating Clean-er http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6297012 I am not where I want to be in the eating dept - but I am improving. This way is better for me. I am eating at least one deliciously healthy meal daily - lately it has been a mix of beets, pineapples, grapes, avocado, corn and black beans. I throw a little (tsp or two) of balsamic vinaigrette in there and it holds me for a decent amount. I have been drinking water galore. I fall to the wayside later in the day, but I am work in progress. <BR> <BR> This morning, I had oatmeal and since i was ... Thu, 12 Jan 2017 22:09:06 EST Hello 2017! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6291489 Striding ahead --- after months of waffling, researching, and procrastinating - I finally found a new doc - hopefully. Her online stats and reviews look good - and she is affiliated with the hosp I stayed in in Sept. I have an appt on 1/23. Choosing a doc is a big decision - and hopefully this choice pans out. (my other doc of 10 years moved and it was no longer a good match.) <BR> <BR> I am trying to do more clean eating and increasing my movement. There are a few facebook groups I am in wh... Wed, 4 Jan 2017 21:38:25 EST December's docket http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6275699 Hello friends, <BR> <BR> It's been a while. Hope all is well with everyone. I have been doing okay. Struggling with pain and mobility issues -- but far from giving up! <BR> <BR> I am enrolled in a clean eating challenge, which begins on Tuesday. It will mean a lot of food prep, sugar avoidance, and intentional behavior, but I am gearing up for it. I have already declined 2 work parties which are usually festive and fun, but I don't feel bad about it - I am just setting myself up to be a suc... Sat, 3 Dec 2016 09:40:22 EST Pain or no Pain, Hello Gym! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6260015 After an extended hiatus, I went to the gym today. I was walking around in a store, pushing a cart, and I I felt so stiff, and had so much pain, I just decided that I needed to go to the gym and climb on a stationary bike. I needed to see if I could pedal, and would the stretching help and if the muscles could take the pain. <BR> <BR> Huh, I think riding helped. The gym manager gave me a very friendly greeting. Shook my hand and held it for a little bit. He knows me. We're friendly. He kno... Mon, 31 Oct 2016 21:38:43 EST I am still here http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6255009 Just working through things - mainly my health. Trying to get my stamina back. Luckily, I never lost my zest for living! I just need to pick up the pace! Hope you are all doing well! <BR> <BR> Fri, 21 Oct 2016 14:00:40 EST Making it work http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6242414 Here is the Reader's Digest Condensed Version of my life lately. <BR> <BR> Back on 9/9, I had pain just below my breastbone in the center of my chest/above my stomach. Long story short, I was hospitalized for 6 days with a diagnosis of gallstones/pancreatitis. Hello! Wake-up call!!! No FUN! <BR> <BR> Since then, I have been adhering to better eating, cutting back on fat, in particular. The surgeons wanted to cut me open, but luckily my primary prevailed and we will re-visit same topic in... Tue, 27 Sep 2016 00:18:38 EST Scale Recommendation Requested http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6237141 Hi all, <BR> <BR> Does anyone have a good recommendation for a scale to weigh myself on that is fit for home use. I can google it, but I would love a recommendation from our community; The max weight needs to at least hit 420 lbs. <BR> <BR> THANK YOU! <BR> Mary Fri, 16 Sep 2016 23:38:03 EST On the Mend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6236602 Just a few words tonight as I must know get to bed. <BR> <BR> I have been in the hospital for the past 6 days, and it is something I do not want to repeat again. <BR> <BR> I'll get into more details when I am more fully rested. It is good to be home. <BR> <BR> Thu, 15 Sep 2016 23:32:30 EST Getting On Top of Things http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6227430 Control is not the right word for the way I am feeling these last few days --- and explained as much to my health coach. I feel like I am going with the flow, and it is not just an unintentional ride. I have power. I have choices. I am exercising my right to these things, while not being inflexible at the next set of curve-balls. <BR> <BR> Truth be told, I need to go lay down. Long day, and well-deserved rest, but hopefully next time I am back here, I will explain this better. Til then! Happ... Tue, 30 Aug 2016 23:40:36 EST Head On http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6226633 I a learning what is happening in my body and I am facing it head on. I went for the nerve test today and Doc indicated that he thinks I am experiencing nerve pain from the condition of my back. He's a conduit to passing on information to my doctor, so that will be the next step. I am not overly keen on using drugs to control my life, so I am going to see what my doc says, and then move forward one step at a time. <BR> <BR> I am going to go to the gym, and speak to a trainer. I did not wan... Mon, 29 Aug 2016 16:43:59 EST We Shall See what we shall see http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6226229 I have a doc's appt in the morning for an EMG, which is a test to see how my nerves react when the muscles are stimulated. I am nervous about it, but sitting up praying and playing computer games to try to relax before heading to bed. <BR> <BR> This is one more step to figure out the leg pain issues, which are ongoing despite several measures to diagnose and fix. Last diagnosis was back arthritis. I will need to swing by hosp and pick up my xray before continuing on to next doc. <BR> <BR> ... Mon, 29 Aug 2016 00:11:54 EST The Blessings of Making Yourself a Priority http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6225557 Hi all, <BR> <BR> I hope you are all doing great out in Sparkie-land. I have just returned from a fabulous week off in Alexandria, VA, where I felt relaxed, refreshed and reinvigorated. My mobility was limited, but I did what I could as I could, and I am starting to turn the corner in how I am feeling. I am also on steroids right now, and I know that is helping with inflammation and therefore, making it easier for me to get around. <BR> <BR> Before I left, the results from my back xray sho... Sat, 27 Aug 2016 19:25:11 EST and the Goodness flows on... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6216952 I'm on the lookout for good things. I am a happy camper by nature, and I look for more silver linings and bright sides than dirt. Today, I reached out to the general manager of the gym I belong to and shared why I have been MIA, and despite having some continued pain, I want to start working out again. <BR> <BR> I had paid for a bunch of training sessions, but those had expired. I didn't know the status of them going into the conversation, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. So, I asked a... Fri, 12 Aug 2016 20:25:10 EST Concerns won't stop me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6216597 While not without concerns, I am forging ahead today. I am going to work after 2 days off. The days were meant as productive vacation days, but I ended up being in so much pain, it amounted to little more than a lot of laying down and even that hurt. <BR> <BR> So just for today, I am taking it a step at a time. I am trying to remain chill to the point of calm, though things and especially job things are ramping up in front of me. <BR> <BR> So here's to a calm day of not getting rattled. I... Fri, 12 Aug 2016 08:26:20 EST Hangry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6215048 When you get so hungry at work, you break into the "emergency" oatmeal packet. <BR> <BR> At least I avoided going to the convenience store that is IN THE BUILDING! Tue, 9 Aug 2016 16:21:59 EST Leg cramps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6208407 Well, they go on. Not every day, But I feel like I am making headway on eliminating things that may cause them. They suck, pure and simple. This is not of the charlie horse variety. While I would not classify charlie horses as pleasant, compared to the cramps I get, they are. So. I keep tracking what I am doing and trying to figure this out (and along with my doc also). <BR> <BR> Aside from that, things are mostly ok. Staff member told me he may be applying for another position today, and I ... Thu, 28 Jul 2016 21:38:45 EST Out of my Shell http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6204996 When I am feeling good about myself and relaxed, I open up. Today was one of those days. <BR> <BR> THe day started out with a meeting and participation in a large group, and I made my mark. Later one of the presenters came over and I shared some storytelling, and we yukked it up! <BR> It was one thing after another, and then I was invited to a small celebration luncheon for a colleague in another dept, and not only did I attend, but I shined. <BR> <BR> I definitely added to the positive (... Fri, 22 Jul 2016 17:31:07 EST Not Looking Behind Me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6204050 Today was a little surprise, and it was a fun one. It's been hot out, and today no different. I wore a sleeveless shirt to work. I do it infrequently, but today was one of those days. I sat in a bit of traffic and noticed the convertible in front of me was a murano. I've never seen this model in convertible. Was kind of cool. SUV-ish but a convertible. <BR> <BR> The guy in front of me, looked at me in his rear view mirror and smiled and waved at me. I smiled and waved back, though not witho... Wed, 20 Jul 2016 22:49:17 EST Stamina http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6203424 I need more stamina. My lack of working out regularly has totally tanked my stamina. Between leg pain and just the crappy way I feel lately, my stamina has been trashed. <BR> <BR> I know I will get it back with hard work, but I am just reminding myself that yet another reason to be in better health and shape is improved stamina! <BR> <BR> Yes! Tue, 19 Jul 2016 22:22:03 EST People http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6202829 I come from a long line of people who other people love to be around. We are a contagiously happy bunch. Tonight while driving home, I heard a song that my uncle loved by Al Green. He introduced us to a lot of Motown music, and this song brought an instant smile to my face. My uncle could be a challenge (fought with my dad, his brother-in-law, that made things unpleasant sometimes, but mostly my uncle was a cool guy. He had friends EVERYWHERE! He made friends easily and often. He definitely g... Mon, 18 Jul 2016 21:39:05 EST Mojo http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6202531 My mojo is coming back. I am feeling hints of it. It is when I get excited and feel as if there possibilities that things are coming together, and I am not hopeless. When I am not hopeless, I am not powerless. When I am not powerless, I am prepared to step forward on my own behalf, and be who I am....proudly. <BR> <BR> My legs are still a prob for me,but this morning I am committing to doing some chair workouts. I am not putting a label on it, because I don't do great with my own added pres... Mon, 18 Jul 2016 11:27:21 EST Chairs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6201947 Chairs are a necessity to me, and something I fret about. There are times when I have felt uncomfortable, cautious, singled out, left out, and vulnerable because of chairs. Is it too light, is it going to hold me, what are the chances of me falling to the ground? Can I get up out of it? A lot of things go through my mind when I am about to sit down. <BR> <BR> For those familiar places, it is "nice" to have a pre-scoped out piece of furniture. A place where you have been before, a place hat ... Sun, 17 Jul 2016 10:57:03 EST Fighting for Your Worth http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6201107 I don't know why I decided that this was the time to watch it. It had been sitting on my playlist for months. I had a little free time and I reviewed my amazon playlist, and one of the free prime movies was "In a Town This Size." It chronicled the horrific story of a small town doctor systematically abusing kids over the years, both boys and girls. <BR> <BR> Heartbreaking. <BR> <BR> When I was a kid, back when it was commonplace to leave a kid in a car, without thinking the worst could ha... Fri, 15 Jul 2016 18:48:22 EST This is Why - The Intro http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6200878 There are many personal reasons for me that I NEED to get healthy. It is not just a matter of losing weight (though saying it like that almost makes it seem like it is some easy off-handed thing) - it's not - well, that has not been my experience. But I am trying to lay out why I need to do what I say I need to do. Some I am going to write a series of blogs as to why I need to do this. For myself. If it helps anyone else discover their own whys along the way, so much the better, but for me, I... Fri, 15 Jul 2016 10:23:37 EST Unlocking the Mystery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6196714 I was hungry. I mean famished. I felt it. I needed to eat, and my thoughts were racing about where I would stop after work since the homestead looks like Old Mother Hubbard lives there. <BR> <BR> and Then my day was interrupted. a 4:30pm departure time became 7pm because I was climbing out of a busy workload. I was ready to leave and a customer called. I logged back in and handled it. I have caller ID. I knew who it was. I could have left it, but I didn't. <BR> <BR> I walked slowly (in mu... Thu, 7 Jul 2016 22:57:02 EST