MICKEYMAX's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MICKEYMAX MICKEYMAX's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Doing it Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6190370 My simple advice to myself is to find what works and do it again. <BR> <BR> I know how to eat well, move, and take good care of myself; I don't always do it. When that happens, I look for the next magic pill (not drugs) to fix my life and wonder why things went awry. I know. I stopped caring for myself, or stopped doing the steps that let me care best for myself. <BR> <BR> Sunday, I practiced eating more f/v. <BR> Tomatoes <BR> spinach <BR> lettuce <BR> strawberries <BR> blueberries <BR> b... Mon, 27 Jun 2016 07:30:47 EST On the Road http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6189607 There's been ups and downs lately for me, and i am sure I am not alone in that. That being said, here's some positive tidbits. I have been trying to eat more fruits and veggies. Today, I had: <BR> <BR> spinach <BR> mushrooms <BR> potato <BR> broccoli <BR> tomato <BR> lettuce <BR> strawberries <BR> blueberries <BR> banana <BR> <BR> THAT"S RIGHT NINE!!! Count 'em 9!!! That's definitely on the right road. I had trout for dinner. <BR> <BR> I went to the doc on Friday for bloodwork. I have b... Sat, 25 Jun 2016 21:34:15 EST Getting Balanced http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6165098 The biggest thing I have going on these days is that I have all but ditched my cane. I am still using it to navigate up and down the front steps at my house, but beyond that, it sits in the corner, or in my car. <BR> <BR> My legs are getting stronger and I am feeling more balanced while standing on my own two feet. it is a great feeling to me that I am making progress. It is slow moving still, but each day, I feel stronger. One foot forward and all that. I am improving! <BR> <BR> What have... Tue, 17 May 2016 20:30:13 EST Fighting Anxiety http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6159740 On Saturday, I had a big scare. I woke up with jabs in my side, feeling like I couldn't breathe, and crying. Crying fluctuating between pain, fear and frustration. I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. I calmed myself way down. Mental checks helped. Kidney stone, maybe, but doubtful, pulled muscle, no. Broken rib, maybe but why. Stones and broken ribs I've had, but I think this was actually a panic attack. <BR> <BR> I have been s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d and not getting enough sleep. My BP was... Mon, 9 May 2016 22:43:35 EST Trucking Along http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6157216 Exhausted, but trucking along. Not going to blog currently, but will be back in a couple of days. Hope you are all doing great! Thu, 5 May 2016 22:37:23 EST Let's Share the Good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6152482 Today, I had an awesome day at work. One huge success is with a student worker I have been on the verge of firing several times. He is not terrible, just missing the mark. I changed my mind one day when I was very close to letting him go. I decided to work with him on a one-on-one basis. <BR> <BR> MAGIC Happened! He is not perfect, but he understands his missteps much more, and is trying hard to change them. I am promoting him into a specialty position next year. My idea about re-imagining... Thu, 28 Apr 2016 22:41:02 EST Happiness Is...... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6150298 This is not the beginning. This is somewhere in the middle. It is not my first rodeo of going to the gym, but I will say it felt good to go tonight. <BR> <BR> While I was in there I was thinking, "Happiness is... and then I stopped, and let it be, happiness is. I don't need to add onto that. But tonight, I added, when I am at the gym, happiness is: <BR> <BR> Familiar faces <BR> Giving and receiving smiles <BR> Knowing I belong, and it is my gym as much as anyone else's <BR> ... Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:31:03 EST Positive Steps today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6149531 Hubby and I are working opposite hours these days, but our timing coincides on the weekend. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, he decided to work some overtime hours while I got rid of 4 bags of shredding material and then dropped film off for developing. It's really 2 disposable cameras. I have no idea what could be on them if anything! I am looking forward to the surprise! <BR> <BR> This morning, I managed to get up early and we went to the gym at 5am, and then off to breakfast and church. I finished ... Sun, 24 Apr 2016 21:24:35 EST This is Only a Test http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6147501 I had to laugh this morning. I am practicing (as in cultivating) my new "take it as it comes" attitude. I am trying to not get easily riled nor reactive to many situations. I am better in some situations than others. <BR> <BR> The Universe laughed at me this morning as today, I got a big dose of let's test that not get riled theory as my normal 35 minute commute got turned upside down into 2 hours. I ended up going way off track to circumvent a highway nightmare, only to have the city I cro... Thu, 21 Apr 2016 20:45:30 EST Going Deeper http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6146890 I am meditating kind of frequently these days, and this time alone has turned out a few thoughts, that I am exploring. <BR> <BR> I have no problems. This is not to say that things are perfect. They are not. But life is full of circumstances, and abilities to encounter them -- by avoidance, by marching through, by letting it be. This a common theme for me lately. <BR> <BR> Seeing the circumstance <BR> Examining it <BR> Deciding my route <BR> Moving forward, around or through. <BR> <BR> M... Wed, 20 Apr 2016 23:32:37 EST Checking in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6146066 HI, <BR> <BR> I met my step goal today! <BR> <BR> I walked at least 250 steps for 5 out of 9 hours today (my previous high was 3) <BR> <BR> At my most recent weigh-in, i lost 3 pounds after a very long plateau! <BR> <BR> Hope everyone is well. I hope to be checking in more frequently again! Tue, 19 Apr 2016 22:29:22 EST Smacking Fear in the Face http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6127671 I am learning to face my fears, and if I voice my biggest one, it is that I don't have the staying power to overcome myself to lose weight and be healthy. How am i facing my fears? Well, recently I joined a running group (even though I am not a runner) that is helmed by my first coach -- not Hadley - but Cliff - a throwback to a decade ago when I lived in Boston. <BR> <BR> He still lives in Texas, but the world has shrunk, particularly through facebook (and here), and being surrounded by po... Fri, 25 Mar 2016 22:33:29 EST Happiness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6127050 I had a very successful and happy week. Last year at this time, I received a less than stellar review (and while most would have considered it as quite favorable), I saw it as a betrayal and a drop in my image. This year, I crushed it, and I am know reviewing myself and my life in all kinds of ways, but especially with cause and effect in mind. <BR> <BR> Today, I was one of 500 folks honored for 10+ years of service. I am just at 10 - but one of the honorees had his 50th! Whoa! It was an a... Thu, 24 Mar 2016 23:44:45 EST Putting Words Into Action http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6115581 In the last couple of months something surprising has happened. My husband has joined the fitness revolution and has lost nearly 20 lbs. It is fantastic, because a lot of what we are doing now, we are doing together. We wear fitbits, encourage each other with food, and eat healthier when dining out. We still eat out a couple of times on the weekend, but our choices have drastically improved. He no longer drinks soda, and 90% of the time, we both drink water. <BR> <BR> I made 5,000 steps tod... Wed, 9 Mar 2016 22:23:27 EST I'm On It! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6104167 I am only going to write a very short bit because a storm is going wild here, and I want to shut down the computer. I have a couple of gigantic celebrations here, and I will write in greater detail in less stormy weather. <BR> <BR> 1) I walked 98% of the time today without my cane. It was sometimes painful, but I did it. <BR> <BR> 2) I did go back to the gym!!! <BR> <BR> WOO HOO! MORE SOON! Love you all! Wed, 24 Feb 2016 22:42:19 EST Intuition Strikes Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6103342 There is no doubt about it. I am and have always been, a very intuitive person. It does get my goat though, when you believe something is on track to happen, and the other person won't come clean about it, at least not until you bring it up. I could see from a mile away that things were going to change for the negative once my coach moved back here. He is way closer, but not geographically desirable, shall we say, and once I brought up working out together, maybe in the spring, he backpedaled... Tue, 23 Feb 2016 22:47:14 EST In a New Light http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6100161 The other day going to work, I had on a black and white patterned sweater (similar to argyle) and brown pants. I had black pants, but I chose not to wear them. the reason I didn't is that ensemble together reminded me of an orca, and I did not want to think of myself in those terms. Strangely enough, a colleague wore a very similar ensemble, except with gray pants. The orca thought ran through my head more than once that day. (this colleague is not large.) <BR> <BR> I kept it to myself ---... Fri, 19 Feb 2016 22:24:49 EST Moving Ahead http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6087957 During the days of sickness, I had some significant moments of clarity. <BR> <BR> One of these has been the need to take greater care of myself. I went to the doctor's today. I am going to work on baby steps meal planning. I made my appt for midday through the afternoon, instead of waiting to the very end of the day at work. It then also gave me time to spend some quality time with hubby which I have been missing due to our work schedules. <BR> <BR> There are many positives happening for ... Thu, 4 Feb 2016 19:39:22 EST Quick Break http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6087229 I am mending well and have been back to work this week. I am a rockstar at my job, and it has been good to be back. <BR> <BR> Here are some things I noted today that I am very grateful for: <BR> <BR> 1) hubby - all the little things he does for me are so overwhelming at times! <BR> 2) It was 60 degrees today IN WINTER! (Heck yeah!) <BR> 3) I led a meeting that my boss spent the afternoon raving about... <BR> 4) I posted job listings and interview schedules in advance of a deadline <BR> 5... Wed, 3 Feb 2016 22:48:56 EST The Lies We Tell Ourselves http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6082125 It is innocuous. You don't even realize that you are doing it. A little kernel of doubt was sprouted, years ago maybe, and you let that seed take hold because maybe at one time, you did not feel strong enough to refute it. <BR> <BR> Oh, I have been there. It's from the backyard bullies, the school we spend our day, our teachers could contribute, media, friends, anyone. We are all capable of adding to the machine, but just because you've believed it, up until this point, that doesn't mean yo... Fri, 29 Jan 2016 07:42:02 EST Improvement http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6080635 Hello friends, <BR> <BR> My legs are starting to clear up! Hurrah. It is by the teeniest of margins, but it is somewhere to start! WOO HOO! <BR> <BR> I hope you are all having a great day! Best! Wed, 27 Jan 2016 12:58:14 EST Nobody puts Baby in a corner...but sickness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6080145 I am still here, but I am currently sidelined. I had the sinusitis bout and then got put on a major antibiotic, which apparently maybe the ONE medication I AM allergic too. Now on steriods heading into the day where I take 4 pills throughout the day and off the anitbiotic. I have been out of work for days - luckily the students are on academic break. <BR> <BR> Two more days and it is back to the docs. Hope everyone is doing great! I will be back soon. Just didn't want any needless worrying ... Tue, 26 Jan 2016 22:50:28 EST Baby Steps Gone Big http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6070916 For me, little successes encourage me to stay motivated, and little successes can steamroll into big, giant successes. <BR> <BR> I am taking a little self indulgent time here to celebrate my successes this week. <BR> <BR> 1) I blogged 6 out of 7 days. <BR> 2) I have stopped using artificial sweeteners. <BR> 3) I have refrained from putting sugar into my tea for the last 2 weeks. <BR> 4) I stopped drinking soda of any sort. <BR> 5) I drink a lot of water. <BR> 6) I drink green tea or deca... Sat, 16 Jan 2016 11:24:08 EST TGIF! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6070516 Whew! I am tired out and walking around like the tin man. I am sore and stiff, but doing okay. <BR> <BR> Despite my aches and pains today, I still walked up the big hill. It takes me a little while to climb it, but once I am there, I realize I am getting up it with less breaks and less huffing and puffing. Big wins! <BR> <BR> My eating was off kilter today, but that is behind me now. <BR> <BR> The doc's called and said my test came back as "stable." This caused hubby to remark, "do you h... Fri, 15 Jan 2016 20:50:33 EST Drumroll, please http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6069726 I went back to the gym tonight. I have 2 more appointments scheduled for next week: Tuesday and Thursday., Don, my trainer, had me work on the Hammer strength that used a push and pull motion. Guaranteed to have T-Rex arms tomorrow, in fact I kind of feel them now. ha ha, I think we did shoulder press, followed by lat raises with free weights, and then no weights, then upright row, and finally lat pulldowns. I am tired, but it is a good tired. <BR> <BR> Here are some of the NUMEROUS victorie... Thu, 14 Jan 2016 22:00:45 EST Building the Mindset http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6068871 This is going to sound ridiculous, but I don't want to win 1.3 billion dollars or whatever that amount is. I am happy with my life, just as it is, and more money would add a few niceties, I suppose, but it would not do much more than that. <BR> <BR> I have purpose in my life, wonderful relationships, excellent friendships, and most of my health. I am working towards changing the things that I can, and enjoying the positive miracles I see every day. May the money go to someone who needs it. ... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 22:05:55 EST Following Through http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6068029 Got up and went to the doc's this morning. Did not anticipate the huge crowd in front of me this morning, giving blood. Waited about an hour to be seen, but at least when I got in there, my blood flowed freely and I did not have to be a pincushion. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I made a point to go drink some extra water to stay hydrated. That's always what the nurses have suggested pre-blood work. <BR> <BR> Won't have results until tomorrow maybe or a couple of days. But starti... Tue, 12 Jan 2016 22:19:23 EST On the Verge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6067165 Went to the doc's tonight after work. Need to return in the a.m. for a fasting blood test. I am praying that my #'s are good - because if they are decent enough, I will be SET FREE from the diabetes drug. Whoop Whoop. Doc is changing my BP medicine as she thinks could be a factor in my debilitating leg cramps. <BR> <BR> I am having a proud moment of doing something good, and hopefully it pans out okay tomorrow also. Will be tickled pink if I can get off that med that has been making me naus... Mon, 11 Jan 2016 22:15:30 EST Weekend Fun http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6065177 I love the weekend. Down time! Well, kind of. <BR> This weekend I opted (at the last minute) to join hubby at the "free" sale they were having at his mom's house. Glad I went. It was time for us to spend together and a few other relatives stopped over, so it was a fun family day in a way. <BR> <BR> That was followed up by Indian food (tandoori chicken for me), and then a trip to the grocery store. My menu includes lettuce, tomatoes, cukes, bananas, green beans and mushrooms. I saw a recipe... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 19:50:37 EST All in Stride http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6064354 Today was a much better day. Panic attack passed. Walking improved - no twinging out of the left leg. Not quite at 4k steps again, but mighty close. I am absolutely okay with where I am. I will build up to more. I walked up the big hill again, and these last 2 days it was an improvement over the first time I went up the hill after a big hiatus. So go me! <BR> <BR> I am just going bit by bit. I am looking forward to some good hang out together time with the hubby. I am also going to go grocer... Fri, 8 Jan 2016 20:39:02 EST Sidelined in short term http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6063449 Drats and a half. I had a hard time walking around today, so I knew enough to get off my leg. A staff member drove me to my car, because I was concerned I oculd not make it on my own. <BR> I am babying it right now, but hoping to feel better in the a.m. <BR> <BR> I won't let this get the best of me. I also set up a doc's appt for monday to discuss whether the drug I am taking to control my diabetes is working well enough to continue taking despite the nausea, or to try something else. Time... Thu, 7 Jan 2016 20:12:26 EST Progress, not Perfection http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6062599 Much to my delight, I have been making headway with the fitbit. From starting out at 2k steps a day, I increased 2 days this week to move up to 3500, and today, I crossed the threshold into 4k. WHOOP!!! That is good progress for me. I still hurt like all get out, but I am not letting that stop me from trying. I've gone back to climbing up the big hill at work, instead of cutting through the loading dock. Hurrah. <BR> <BR> I am celebrating milestone moments as if they are major wins -- beca... Wed, 6 Jan 2016 22:25:54 EST Plowing Ahead http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6060547 As I write this, I find myself singing showtunes from The Sound of Music. Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.... <BR> <BR> January can't help but feel like a new beginning. So I am accepting that and moving on from here. Hubby gave me a Charge HR fitbit for xmas. Turns out he bought himself one also, but for now it is just me using it. <BR> <BR> I am still having issues walking as much or as long as I'd like. When I do walk around, I feel like the tin-man - very ... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 22:14:03 EST Staying Focused http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6058386 Just a couple of days in and already I am well aware it is easy to be distracted from my course. I have to remind myself of a couple of things. I am in control. I cannot let anyone else dictate my path or take the reins from me. I was a little let down today, even though I predicted the outcome in advance. I didn't influence what happened. I am just cuing in on the pattern of the behavior. <BR> <BR> I need to put myself at the forefront and everything will be ok. Sad to say, my vacation of ... Sat, 2 Jan 2016 21:08:28 EST Happy New Year's http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6056455 It's a favorite clean slate. Ushering in 2016 with an open mind, a forgiving heart and a ready, willing and able spirit to forge ahead and make changes in my life. My health is a priority. I have a fit bit and looking forward to tracking. My coach returns this week. I have a couple of more days off. Looking forward to the days ahead, while enjoying the present moment! <BR> <BR> Love to all and happy New Year!!! Thu, 31 Dec 2015 23:08:02 EST Emotional Fresh Start http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6052827 The emotional fresh start has nothing to do with my weight - well, at least not in the usual sense. I went "home" as in to my childhood home for Christmas - which is now my brother's house. I had not been there since my parents passed away. The house was shared between us, but we willingly gave it to my brother since he loved it most, and performed a lot for my parents, since he lived the closest. Still, it was emotional for a moment, but my soul felt lifted being there. It was a great day, f... Sat, 26 Dec 2015 09:38:37 EST Merry Christmas http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6052201 Heading to church soon for an evening service. Spending tomorrow at my childhood home, which now belongs to my brother. Have not been in the house since he moved in and remodeled, three years ago (following my parents' deaths.) <BR> <BR> I am spending the early part of the day with hubby, then driving, "home." He won't attend with me, (his choice, not mine), but I won't dwell. I am just going to enjoy every minute that I can. <BR> <BR> Here's to everyone enjoying their day, and making the m... Thu, 24 Dec 2015 17:26:02 EST Too Much Food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6051975 I'm on medication that limits how much I want to eat - sometimes I feel full, sometimes, I feel nauseous, and sometimes, even when I am eating, I just can't stomach food. <BR> <BR> This morning at breakfast - I asked for toast and 2 eggs, followed by "that's it." Apparently, "that's it" comes with a side of homefries. I ate the yolks by dipping in my toast, and drank my tea. I just couldn't continue to look at the plate. I don't mind hubby eating or his plate, just my own. I guess it is goo... Thu, 24 Dec 2015 07:05:03 EST Focusing on what matters http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6051812 I had to re-think my Christmas spirit today. I lost a bit of it this afternoon after attending a funeral today for the 30 year-old daughter of a work colleague. Her death was sudden, and no explanation as to why, at least that has been revealed. This girl was no one I had ever met, but beloved by many, including former students. A letter from one of those kids was read today, It was heart-wrenching. <BR> <BR> The letter began, "I don't know if you remember me..." and it was written on the o... Wed, 23 Dec 2015 19:41:12 EST And We're Off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6051099 Got up, took a pile of magazines and catalogs out to the recycle bin, along with the trash I collected last night and some assorted clutter. Two trips outside, I am going for the 15 minutes on cleaning cycle, 5 off as suggested by spark friend, LDYSABELLA. <BR> <BR> Wish me luck! Tue, 22 Dec 2015 08:02:45 EST Operation Get It Together http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6050943 I need a boost to turn my inspiration into action. I have been walking around the house, feeling very stiff and sore. I look like the tin man out for a stroll. The house is a wreck. It's been some time since I could adequately clean from being in pain quite often, with limited mobility to get down and get back up. That's been a huge hindrance. <BR> <BR> I've decided tonight though, that the best Christmas surprise I could give my hubby would be to clean the house to the best of my ability. ... Mon, 21 Dec 2015 22:11:47 EST Everything is Going to be Alright http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6049057 I woke up inspired today. Inspired because I am on the verge of having 2 weeks off, and those around me will have opportunity to do the same. There is a happy buzz in the air, and with it a lot of running around. I excel in this kind of atmosphere because not only are people generally happier, but because there are lots of opportunities for connection that don't come as easily at other times. <BR> <BR> It's a bonanza of people needing smiles and soaking up friendliness of wishing merry tidi... Thu, 17 Dec 2015 21:45:40 EST Reset Button http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6048530 It is easy to look at myself and wonder who I am? Once upon a time, I was a person who felt belittled and battered, and had zero self esteem. When you are ready to see yourself through fresh eyes, without the downbeat of who you once were, or who you let yourself become, or whoever thought those things of you, without knowing the real you, it can be a very freeing experience. I don't need to take anyone's word for who I am. I just am. I can claim any part of myself and be justified that I am ... Wed, 16 Dec 2015 18:03:10 EST Sunday in the Making http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6046713 I am starting to feel better. It has been a few weeks since I have been combating fatigue, weakness, lethargy. Maybe my meds are finally straightening out. Maybe I am being more proactive in my health - taking vitamins, iron and the like. Maybe I am on the upswing for as many of the people that I know that are praying for me. I am turning myself around, although, I know I am in greater hands than my own. <BR> <BR> I wrote out Christmas cards for folks at church yesterday. It is like cards i... Sun, 13 Dec 2015 07:14:44 EST Missing My Mom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6046588 It's been three and a half years since I lost my folks - both passed within a very short time of each other. The holidays really remind me of my mom - helping with the Christmas celebrations, doing some shopping for her - picking out a card for my Dad ("not too mushy"!). <BR> <BR> This time of year is hard for so many folks for so many different reasons. I miss my mom a lot, and it is really hitting me today. I believe in heaven, and I believe she is there. My mom was a very giving soul, hel... Sat, 12 Dec 2015 21:51:30 EST Friday 12/11/15 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6046135 What a week. I have felt crazy emotions this week -- from unbalanced, to sad, exhausted, wired, and even today - discouraged, angry and then, laughing so hard, I blacked out for a moment. <BR> <BR> My boss said a few stupid things, repeatedly, and I just could not hold it in, and I lost it. He wanted to kill me, and said so, but he couldn't help but laugh also. It was a slip of the tongue, but I have no filter, and I could not control my laughter. I guess I also kind of needed that. <BR> <... Fri, 11 Dec 2015 22:57:18 EST Giving it a Longer Go http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6045094 I've decided to give the medicine a longer trial run through December. I have okay days and crappy days with managing it. Today, was on the crappier side. I woke up feeling like I was run over by a truck. Waves of nausea, feeling run down to the point of exhaustion. I could not take off today. I had a very important meeting I needed to facilitate of 3 people all above my pay grade. <BR> <BR> At some point, a week or so ago, we decided it would be a lunch meeting if anyone wanted food. Again... Wed, 9 Dec 2015 21:53:13 EST Doing What I Can http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6043370 In simplest terms, I am just doing what I can. We ordered pizza and sandwiches for dinner. I ate half my sandwich and put the rest in the fridge. I opened the box and stared at the pizza repeatedly. But then I opted out and did not have any. I realize that if I eat it, I will not enjoy the experience nearly as much as I think I might, and later I am bound to feel nauseous from overeating. So I skipped it. <BR> <BR> Cue up the victory dance. It is one small step forward, but it certainly is a... Sun, 6 Dec 2015 18:12:48 EST Finding Correlation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6042761 This week has left me feeling really ragged. Not just tired out, but wrung out. I'm taking Victoza and one of the side effect is nausea and I have been enduring a lot of that. Yesterday, though, I ate a lot less food. Basically 3 meals. and last night, I didn't get sick. Hmmm. So day 2 of this experiment is me cutting back on the amount of food and the frequency. Not starving, not fasting, just eating less. <BR> <BR> I've also been experiencing wicked leg cramps (beyond the usual charlie ho... Sat, 5 Dec 2015 13:01:49 EST Funny Sometimes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6042503 When my niece was six or seven years old, she drew a picture of my Dad that said said, "Pop-Pop funny sometimes." I always loved it. Life is funny sometimes, too. Just when I think Hadley (my coach) will be in Seattle forevermore, the tides change and it looks to be with very strong certainty that he could be on the move back here. We should know within days. Mind blowing, but also wonderful. This guy has been an amazing influence in my life, and there have been some very wonderful moments s... Fri, 4 Dec 2015 22:35:45 EST