MEDDYPEDDY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MEDDYPEDDY MEDDYPEDDY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Tribulations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5934303 Nothing calms me as much as tribulations ... it does not spur me, i do not put up a fight, at firs I despair and the inevitabl suicidal thoughts appear but then, when the situation sinks in, my constant worry-mumble that goes on inside suddenly gets quiet and I feel sort of relieved. It is like" look the worst thing happened,and you are still alive" <BR> <BR> I went to the psychiatric surgery (?) yesterday in hope to get a valuation of possible adhd. It has been suggested by a former psychia... Tue, 26 May 2015 00:50:36 EST Me and the shelf http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5914272 I have this project or renovating my guestroom and turning it into a room that I can rent out to university students. It has its own entrance, there is a bathroom connected to it and although I live in a village outside the city, it is the same side of the city as the university, there are buses once an hour and it takes ablut fifteen minutes or half an hour, depending on which bus you choose. <BR> <BR> I managed to get rid of the 1.40 bed I had in the guestroom last autumn, it took for age... Mon, 20 Apr 2015 00:46:54 EST Letting go and letting God... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5913717 "What if" – I said to my OA-pal the other day – "What if this is what my higher power thinks is suitable for me. If HP wanted me to become abstinent, I would..." <BR> <BR> It you try "everything" for a long time and end up eating compulsively anyway, it seems as if it is a hopeless cause... <BR> <BR> Another way to think about it is that the result is not that important, I will try my best according to my ability and leave it to my HP to decide the outcome. <BR> <BR> The "normal" thin... Sun, 19 Apr 2015 00:53:51 EST Most addictive food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897888 I get a sponsored post – Huffington Post with "the most addictive food" The article claims that research has established that the foods most likely to develope addiction in the eater is... what a surpris! - pizza! And then chocolate, chips, cookies and icecream... <BR> <BR> And the foods least likely to make you addicted accoring to the same article? Cucumber, carrots, apple, brown rice and beans. <BR> <BR> I had icecream yesterday "salted caramel"... I think about 1500 cal, not a very sm... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 03:20:28 EST The unhealthy breakfast http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897331 For a month I have tried a different breakfast from my usual (that is wholegrain bread with ham och salmon and coffee with milk) <BR> Now I cook bacon & egg, mushroom and tomato - around 400 cal whoch is about the same my usual breakfast gives. <BR> <BR> This breakfast works very well, I feel fine afterwords my bowels loves it and I don´t get hungry until two in the afternoon if I eat at six in the morning. <BR> <BR> So what´s the problem then? Well, it feels so wrong - so unhealthy and ... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 03:50:13 EST Weight vs behaviour http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5896826 The past week has been successful in the aspect of losing weight. But my behaviour has not been the most sensible, my goal in eating is to eat three balanced meal a day and nothing in between. <BR> <BR> When I look back at all those years trying to lose weight I cas see that the most successful periods has been when I had a goal of calories and planned my food for that. I have fallen of that wagon too, but compared to the kamikaze diets, and the "special foods" diets, the eating less withou... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 05:11:54 EST Something completely different....and rocking the socks. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5896240 So - daughter is preparing to get confirmated this spring. I have no idea if this is done in other churches but in the lutheran church in Sweden the usual thing is to get batized when you are a baby and then - at 13-14 years you study chirstian stuff for a while, for some it is one hour a week during a year or so, for some it´s a weeks camp in the summer. It used to be that you could not join the holy communion until you had been confirmated but I think they have changed that. In my time th... Fri, 20 Mar 2015 02:16:36 EST Unfriendly or what? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5895644 I am struggling with a lot of things - eating healthy, get moving and being consistant to pages like spark people. I have a vague hope for the moment, food and exercise has been working for a week and as spring has sprung and I am able to bike, it is really nice to go biking again. Poor doggy worn his paws out when I got too overenthusiastic, too soon... hopefully i will be able to take him again soon, for the moment we have to walk in the woods to spare his paws and I am too overweight to be... Thu, 19 Mar 2015 02:10:46 EST Volunteering http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5871627 ...so we have all these beggars from Rumania in Sweden this winter. From being a phenomenon only in Stockholm, they are now in most cities - in karlstad, I meet them at the entrance of every food store. They slept under a concrete driveway until some vandals started a fire there. Luckily noone was hurt. Now the church has fixed some bunkhouses: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/0/l501718220.jpg"> <BR> <BR> and they ask for volunteers to serve there - I hesitate because I ... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 05:26:14 EST Longing... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5867590 Didn´t need to plan exercise yeaterday - a lot of snow fell and I had to shovel the driveway twice. Three days ago I fell when I walked the dog - it is a miracle that it has not happened before because this winter has been more icy than snowy. Banged my head but had a thick cap on so there was no lasting damage (I think) But after that I have had sore muscles in my neck an more places - I ´ve read that when you fall the whole body tense up to manage the fall and you boost yourself with adrena... Mon, 2 Feb 2015 02:10:39 EST Interrogated... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5859981 The dreaded police interrogation abput speeding and driving an unauthirezed vehicle was today... after reading the papers again I found that it was over the phone which made it much less scary. I was thinking about telling a story that I was on my way to the workshop... but that meant involving more people in case I needed to fabricate som proofs.. so in the end I let my laziness rule and made i simple by telling the truth. <BR> <BR> The enquiry took about two minutes - I confessed to both a... Thu, 22 Jan 2015 02:50:26 EST An enchanted evening... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856829 Yesterday seemed at first to be one of those days that you prefer to forget as soon as possible. As I did not sleep during the night, I slept three hours in the morning and woke up uncomfortably late. Then we had promised to go to the annual meeting of the society that daughter loves for playing games, role-playing and what in Sweden is translated as "lajv" (from lives I guess) Anyway annual meetings are ordinary short and efficient if there are no great conflicts in the society - but I had u... Sun, 18 Jan 2015 01:27:36 EST Did not sleep... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856211 Yesterday I could not go to sleep - probably because I dozed off in front of the teve whoch made it harder to go to sleep later... but contributing was also feasting on spare ribs (slow digestion becuse of it) and recieving a letter that meant fines - was caught by a speed camera about fourteen days ago - I did not slow down from 100 kM/hour to 70/ fast enough (reading the letter again tells me that I drove 77...will be 1500 sw.cr in penalty not so bad - but the bad thing is that my car has ... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 06:27:56 EST Busy week... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5849946 Three hours after I had gotten my daughter on the bus to her father, she phoned and begged me to come get her... it was the phone again and she was really in a dark place, totally hysterical and having locked herself in the bathroom. <BR> <BR> It is really hard - on some level this is a "normal" teenager state - live is heaven or hell and there is no solution than to run away... for me it is hard to find a way to cope that is responsible and sdult without rejecting her or abandoning her - ... Fri, 9 Jan 2015 01:16:35 EST Meeting friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5847289 Twelfth night is traditionally the evening for our annual feministic meeting, we who made my feministic newspaper 1988-1993 and soma engaged friends - this year we were four out of seven possible. <BR> <BR> One of us got married in New York two days before christmas whoch was nice and the hostess offered pulled pork - and because of my new year resolution there was also salads and beansalsa and more dilicious vegetarian stuff. <BR> <BR> It was wonderful, I usually bring an hourglass because... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 04:15:25 EST My defects... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5846256 "There is a crack in evertyhing, that´s how the light gets in" (Leonard Cohen) <BR> <BR> Am I still occupied with trying to become a better person? Yes, at work I am, I am not working as hard as I might and it could unburden some of the work of my colleauges if I was more active. <BR> <BR> On the other hand, what I do that my colleagues don´t is that I put a lot of effort into being encouraging, I comment on articles I have enjoyed, I do brin interesting facts and thought to the conversati... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 02:12:32 EST Why blog and factoids... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5845331 I am thinking aboput starting a blog in swedish - I have done it once - eight years ago or something, and it died rather fast. And since then I have thought ag+biut it a lot but always end up with ...why? For who? <BR> <BR> The interesting thing is that I have been blogging here on spark since I joined the team in 2009. Not always active, there has been silent months, and the quality of course differs but when I count them now, it seems as I have writtens more than 1000 entries...wow! That ... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 05:04:03 EST Resolutions... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5843523 Since I read that "resolution" i a too harsh word I am looking at the translation and it puzzles me because I can´t find it hard in swedish... we use the word for "promises" ("löften")for our visions on new year. <BR> <BR> What I have set out to achieve in 2015: <BR> <BR> 1. Eat vegetarian. This I feel will be very hard, hopefully it will get easier if I manage to do it for a month or so... I am comparing with giving up alcohol, it all seemed unachieveable in the beginning, just a big dark ... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 03:06:32 EST First day as a vegetarian... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5842756 My gosh - it looks like dog foof again... <em>24</em> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l393615185.jpg"> <BR> <BR> It´s reda cabbage, carrots and onion fried in sesame oil - the red cabbage totally coloured the carrots and the onion. And then there is quinoa tricolor. <BR> <BR> But although it does not look appetizing it was really good - made pancakes for daughter, did not even try to make her eat my black food. <BR> <BR> Spent the day helping brother to record hi... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 11:39:33 EST Full speed ahead! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5841694 I am very childish in the sense that I feel like new years eve is really special - the decisions I make for the future are magic and stronger than if I start with them any other day. <BR> <BR> I am excited about going for a vegetarian year - one day at the time. And I am fully aware that vegetarian does not necessary mean weight loss - there is a woman in my swedish support group, about my age, that has been a vegetarian all her grown up life and hovers around 100 kilo. But as meat, especial... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 05:29:52 EST Recipes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5840978 I am thinking about a comment from Spark friend Joy yesterday - about not really using recipes anymore because one knows what one likes and knows how to cook it. <BR> <BR> This is true to me - I have cooked for so long that I rarely use recipes, only at special events when I cook something new or when I do special dishes for special events. <BR> <BR> But I wish I used recipes more - there are a lot of flavors and combination of ingredients that I never learn because I don´t have the energy ... Tue, 30 Dec 2014 01:50:01 EST Thank you Malin! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5840310 Again I can notice how being social brings gifts... hehe, that is not true, my membership on Spark People is one of my dark secrets in Sweden... I have not connected to my facebookaccount and as I don´t use my real name anywhere around I think it is not probable that anyone that knows me will find me here - of course if they stumble in they will see from the photos who I am and I guess you can do goole search on photos ... but I prefer not to think about that as I use Spark peole as my place ... Mon, 29 Dec 2014 04:37:25 EST Sausage inspiration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5839720 My friends homemade suasages was reaaaaally delicious - three different, two with pork and one with beef - served with homemade mustard and homemade bread - baked on sourdough... it was all very trendy and hip... <BR> <BR> So my determination to become vegetarian for a year trembled a little, but just a little because most of the wonderful flavour depended on spices - marjoram, thyme, rosemary, cumin, cardemom, garlic... you don´t need meat for the flavors to be there. <BR> <BR> So today ha... Sun, 28 Dec 2014 07:31:15 EST Just for today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5839101 ...I was planning to stay on the healthy vegetarian diet but I had forgot I am invited to friends this evening - they made their own sausages some weeks ago and now I am invited to taste them... it is - 14 outside, if I go swimming I can eat those sausages without overstepping calories intake vs used...and before I go to the indoor swimmingpool I have to take doggy for a walk. As hal chinese crested he does not appreciate the cold weather, but appreciates a dog blanket even less. It´s been s... Sat, 27 Dec 2014 01:01:49 EST Soooo cold http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5838687 First time in winter the temperature has gone really down, yesterday evening - 18 C and my conciece is tormenting me because of the romanian beggars in our city. <BR> <BR> Last year there was just a few in Stockholm, this winter there are plenty in every city and i my town some of them sleep under the concrete driveway in a parkinghouse: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/3/l63107809.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And yesterday I thought about driving there an offering them a bed for t... Fri, 26 Dec 2014 08:52:46 EST Thank you... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5838209 ..all for thinking about me - I apologize for not answering immedeately, have been a little down but not too much, just passive and uninspired. <BR> <BR> I am celebrating christmas alone this year, daughter is with father and comes to me at newyear. On chirstmas eve (that is the day we celebrate in Sweden) I did very little, but had a mission as Santa three lkilometres away, so I disguised myself with thingt from our theatre and thought I looked fine! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.s... Thu, 25 Dec 2014 04:36:35 EST Tuesday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5826265 One of my chornicle has been shared over 3000 times whoppeee I am going viral! To be honest it stresses me a little, I wrote a piece about egocentric behaviour, I did it as a reaction that swedish shop organisation has decided that "activity bracelet" is the christmas gift of the year and underlines the fact that you can share your exercise achievements on facebook - at the same time as we are having a big discussion about the ro9mari people that is outside every shop, begging these days - pe... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 08:39:36 EST Monday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5825517 Time to photofood again - yesterdays lunch was salmon with rice and coarrots and aioli sauce (garlic, sour milk mayonnaise): <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1980777351.jpg"> Mon, 1 Dec 2014 01:50:11 EST Crazy days... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824998 Opening night went well: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1570146842.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Sold out (70 people!) and the audience was really happy. <BR> On the way to the theatre we stopped by the gas staion and bought some gingerbread, buns, cookies and "julmust" (swedish soda for christmas) , did not even try to get to the food store since there was a lot of people out shopping this saturday... We did have time to clear the visible mess but it was far from clena - and no... Sun, 30 Nov 2014 04:37:22 EST Not so beautiful food... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824501 Maybe I should go back to phographing my food and presenting it in the blog... the other day I looked at my plate and realised that it looked like a bowl of dog food... I had fried kale and spinach and onions and bell pepper and then mixed beans with come cream and blue cheese and stirred in it, very yummy but looking like ... can´t write that. <BR> <BR> But right now it is very busy - we have opening night on our christmas play today and it has been many rehearsals. And to draw attention to... Sat, 29 Nov 2014 01:05:47 EST Points again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815264 I have obviously slacked in my sparking so I have not noticed that there are now more point levels to go for - yipeee, it was sad (and weird) to notice that once I reached the highest level I started to slack in my spraking as weill. <BR> <BR> Now I only wish they would bring back the "huddle" function it sort of made it easier for me to visit teams better. <BR> <BR> I have finally been to the indoor pool - bougt a six month card andnwill start going on weekend mornings again, that will be ... Wed, 12 Nov 2014 01:36:40 EST A visit to the doctor http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5811635 I had a busy day yesterday - three press conferences in a row and all three with articles that was supposed to be delievered for todays paper. State of the world market and prognosis for 2015 ... brought the computer and between that conference and the next (that was about how the city centers shopping is to handle the loss of customers to the malls outside town) I managed to write almost all of the first one... And arriving ten minutes early for the third - big day for council work - I manag... Wed, 5 Nov 2014 23:02:07 EST Wolfes and more... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5811060 Had planned to go to the gym yesterday and signed up for a group with circle training - couldn´t find one of hte shoes so I never got there. Thought doggy was guilty but found the other shoe in my car later... <BR> <BR> Compensated with joining the dog walk in the evening (a facebookgroup that gathers us in my village two evenings a week to walk the dogs and give them an opportunity to behave sociallly well with other dogs...) - but my fitness is lower than ever so I abandoned them after te... Wed, 5 Nov 2014 03:42:08 EST Celebrating november http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5810374 November has always been special to me - I admit that september and october are mostly better autumn months but as I am born in november I always felt good about it and it is only later years that I have realised that it is the darkest and rudest month if I consider rain, darness and cold... <BR> <BR> But november is also the month I celebrate my soberness - I got sober in june but had a relapse in november (one night, one bottle of wine, luckily I did not have to continue...) and as I dont ... Tue, 4 Nov 2014 00:17:28 EST Another Monday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5809672 Waking up fairly early, think I´ll give myself ten minutes of accordian practice before I start moving... my ambition today is to make the plan for next edition and start doing some small things with it. <BR> <BR> For the moment I am a quitter with the standup next week...I feel silly not wanting to do it, and I feel like I am letting myself and other people down - and that is not adequate at all so I don´t know what is going on. <BR> <BR> On the happy side - a firend called yesterday and a... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 00:06:26 EST November - starting from skratch..again. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5809079 One good thing with being on the bottom is that there is only one way to go - upwards! <BR> <BR> Not entirely true because I CAN get deeper, I can gain more and feel even lousier. And that scares me stiff is that I don´t trust myself t be able to turn things round. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1817877647.jpg"> <BR> <BR> ... the plan is as modest as it can be not to be overwhelmed. <BR> <BR> Priority one is exercising - so I added my runkeeper for today, 3... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 04:11:02 EST Blood pressure rocketing! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5806692 If you have been reading my blogs for a while you know that I developed high blood pressure 15 months ago - and that I thoguh exercise and losing weight got it down to normal. I have to admit that I did not really believe it was me - I thought that my doctor fooled me a bit by giving me medicine agianst oedema that also worked for lowering blood pressure. <BR> <BR> I was wrong - because yesterday company health was visiting and I checked my blood pressure for the first time since january... ... Wed, 29 Oct 2014 02:41:27 EST Have to figure this out... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5805387 It is really pathetic but two things seems to have stopped me being active on spark. <BR> <BR> 1) Reached top level of Spark Points. Collecting points has no purpose at all anymore and that made me lose this feeling of having to be consistant in signing in, tracking and communicating. <BR> <BR> 2) losing the huddle function - as long as it was there it made med visit five teams a day to huddle and to wite something on the message boards. <BR> <BR> I know that I have complained about this b... Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:16:26 EST Erasing games http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5797232 Since summer I have played a game on my Ipad - "Pearl´s Peril" I did a lot in the beginning as I thought I would reach some sort of end, but after a month or so I understood that it is supposed to go on... for a very long time. <BR> <BR> But I was stubborn and somehow determinated to finish it so I have been playing it very patiently, three times a day as the "energy" to play comes with timelimits. <BR> <BR> And I found another couple of gameapps that I also found rather amusing and though... Mon, 13 Oct 2014 06:40:47 EST Gaining http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5796634 ... I think I set a new record for gaining weight - four kilos in a week! <BR> <BR> Although I try not to despair over it, the explanation is that I had the last medicin on monday and it took until friday until I got to the pharamcy and fetched another ration of my oedema pills. I could feel the fluid assembling in my legs during the week and although the pills has started to work I can still feel my legs as a little swollen - I will see what the scale says next saturday, I did well with foo... Sun, 12 Oct 2014 02:56:39 EST Voice care http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793798 I went to a workshop for singers yesterday. I was relctant because it is hard to drive back to town once I have gotten home in the evening, but as I had signed up for it and as I did think that they would not have too many participators I pulled myself together, got up from the sofa and went. <BR> <BR> And I am glad, it was really interesting. It was held in english as the leader was a rock singer from Ireland. It was interesting that she had moved from Ireland to London to attend London Mus... Tue, 7 Oct 2014 02:19:15 EST Stand-up comedy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5790804 Yesterday I did my fifth stand-up-comedy performance - and my first in a "real" club, which means that it was organised with a headliner, a runner-upp and two rookies. I was one of the rookies and as usual almost unconcious with nerves and "why-am-I-doing-this"-anxiety. <BR> <BR> It was 70 km from home, the friend that I am trying to do this together with was to late in signing up and did not get to be a rookie this time. <BR> <BR> The anxiety before was as bad as always - I have told mys... Thu, 2 Oct 2014 00:24:19 EST The potato crisp miracle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786447 So I went to the store for vegetables and passed the aisle with potatocrisps. A bag caught my eye "new flavour - chanterelles and sour cream". I could not resist, put it in my basket and added all the healthy vegetables... <BR> <BR> Normally that is where the choice is made. It was long ago I tried to fool myself by saying "I will buy it and only have a handful a day"... I know that if it goes home with me it goes in my stomach rather quick. <BR> <BR> And as a true addict I opened the bag i... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 22:53:35 EST Stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5785811 Yesterday I was a good person.... invited this woman who used to run a gym to lunch - she lost her business during summer and is now looking for a job. She is an immigrant from Russia and we swedes are not good in letting foreigners in - she is very highly educated and experieced but that does not help you are too qualified" they tell her - I am starting to realise that in this country it is very hard to get somewhere if you don´t have connections. <BR> <BR> As I am writing about the region... Tue, 23 Sep 2014 23:24:35 EST Making and breaking rules http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5785069 Reading Anne Catherine who describes the thread of selflies that is typical for an addict, although she calls it "breaking rules": <BR> 1. Before you enter the store you decide that no matter what you are going not going to buy a bag of your favorite candy. <BR> 2. In the store you find yourself in front od the candy shelf, buy the bag and change the decision into "I will only eat three pieces" and not open it until I am home..Rule one broken. <BR> 3. You decide that you will not open the bag... Mon, 22 Sep 2014 22:19:01 EST Feelings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784367 Drove the daughter with friend to the bus that takes them back to her father and school. This is when I usually overeat, shame and sorrow over the situation, comfort because I feel badly treated and a lide reward fo me having been such a good mother all weekend... <BR> <BR> Do this time I went home and had all those feeling roar as I had my soup for the evening... <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/6/l764179136.jpg"> Sun, 21 Sep 2014 22:41:59 EST Daughter and me! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5783836 Performing together...very basic Sun, 21 Sep 2014 02:51:45 EST Fireworks in my brain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5783809 I feel bad about suddenly falling into silence for such a long time, since I consider many of you as real friends - and it is nog friendly just to remove myself from company... <BR> <BR> I know it is silly - bu it is because of the huddle function. When that still around it was the incentive for me to visit teams and huddle every morning - and at the same time I did some sort of check-in, and I can´t really understand why I can´t keep onchecking in every morning without the huddle... but tha... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 00:43:57 EST 43 To do or not to do http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745395 Yesterday I read the "Fighting the urge" e-book by dr Amy Johnson <BR> <link>dramyjohnson.com/wp-content/uploads/<BR>2013/12/Fighting-the-Urge_Dr-Amy-Johns<BR>on.pdf </link> <BR> <BR> and afterwards went to an AA lunch meeting. Dr Johnson says that compulsive eating is neither an incurable addiction nor a compensation for deep inner needs that can´t be changed until you have defined and fulfilled those needs. Dr Johnson says that it i our lower brain being taught to answer the craving by... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 02:52:09 EST 41 The heat is on http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5743886 It´s hot again - the disadvantage is that I can´t play the accordioan as freely as before because the windiw is open and it will be heard out on the street which might be distrurbing late at night or early in the borning. Closing the window is a tricky thing because there is a flynet mounted in it and it is a cumbersome activity. The other disadvantage is of course that it is hard to move or get anything done - yeterday I walked in the woods with doggy and I was totally soaked with sweat alt... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 01:14:24 EST