MEA6785's SparkPeople Blog MEA6785's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I'm baaaaaack I'm back again. Lots has changed since I was last on Spark. New career, new city, new friends, and new places to eat (sigh). One more thing that has changed is my waistline....but not the way I wanted it to. Yeah, I've gained more weight along with new struggles to overcome. As I mentioned, I started a new career in November 2014 that requires a LOT of hours to be worked. I'm often exhausted on my 1 day off and full of excuses as to why going to brunch and drinking Bloody Marys is a better id... Tue, 1 Mar 2016 10:24:57 EST Drinking + River =Binge Eating Hello! <BR> <BR> Yesterday a group of friends and I went kayaking all day. SO much fun; one of my favorite things to do during the summer. It could be a healthy way to sneak in exercise, only, we drink all day long too. I ate a healthy breakfast (a big one too, since I knew I didn't want to eat junk). And, I packed some healthy snacks- some cheese, grapes, and sliced cucumbers. Awesome, right?! Well, it was until we got home and we were all STARVING (which I am pretty sure we weren't, we we... Sun, 24 Aug 2014 10:16:14 EST Fellow Lady Sparkies-- take a look. I'm getting ready to go to bed. I was perusing the internet and stumbled across this website. I encourage ALL of my fellow Sparkie women to take a look. It's a little graphic (some nudity), however there are so many wonderful pictures.... <BR> <BR> Take a look and remember, no matter what size you are, let's love ourselves. Let's love eachother. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Have a wonderful night loves! <em>213</em> Wed, 13 Aug 2014 21:45:11 EST Day #2 Today was day #2 of Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. Whoo I'm feeling it. I was really tired when I got out of work, but I stuck to my guns and forced myself. I'm hobbling around the kitchen making dinner now.. low carb zuchinni bake. Yummo. <BR> <BR> I'm having a glass of wine with dinner. This put me just over my calories today. But, I'm not depriving myself. I will drink it and enjoy it. I'm going to add in an extra cardio day this week to make up for it. <BR> <BR> Slow and steady. One ... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 19:33:31 EST Starting over for the 65457 time. This may be the umpteenth time I've started over. But, this time WILL be the last. I actually took official "before" photos this time. I want to post them, but I'm too chicken at this time. I will, but I'm not ready just yet. They were hard to look at, to say the least. I've created a folder in my email and every week I will post new pics along with my weight. Eventually, I will do this here..when I'm ready. <BR> <BR> So, I tracked everything I ate today. I also did the Jillian Michael's 30... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 22:45:52 EST OH- HI. It's been a year! So, it has been a whole year since I've even blogged. Actually, in all honesty.. since I've really even sparked at all. <BR> <BR> I've gained back all the weight I lost with SP, plus an additional 15. I swore I would never be here again. But, here I am. Back to almost 2oo pounds. What the heck happened? <BR> <BR> I could dwell on it. OR, I could get off my a*s and do something about it. I will do the latter. <BR> <BR> I've been working on my sparkpage on and off today when I get a second... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 12:40:46 EST Bathing suit season motivation. It's only January, but as I was perusing Pinterest today, I saw this and it struck a cord with me. Thought I'd share with you all! Get to work. Bathing suit season is right around the corner!! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Wed, 30 Jan 2013 09:34:31 EST Busty Girl Problems 101 Well, I could go on and on about how I've been depressed lately. About how I need to do this, or want to do that. But ya know what? I'm not gonna! <BR> <BR> I put on my big girl panties last week and sucked it up and started working out again. It feels wonderful. Why did I stop doing this and let myself go, AGAIN? I don't know.. that's for another blog. <BR> <BR> So, back to working out today. I did my "Hip Hop Abs, cardio sculpt" workout for 30 minutes today (and if you've never done it- I... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 13:30:22 EST Alcohol. I like to drink. <BR> I like wine. <BR> I like beer. <BR> I like alcohol period. <BR> <BR> We all know alcohol lowers your inhibitions. <BR> For me, this means it makes me not care about what I put in my mouth. <BR> I will eat anything not good for me; chips, cookies, bread, anything processed and refined. And not just a little. A lot. I mean, A LOT, A LOT. <BR> <BR> I keep kicking myself for re-gaining all this weight. I can blame it on not exercising consistently, having one too many "... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 08:15:33 EST I have nothing to wear. No really, I have NOTHING to wear. As in, NOTHING FITS ME. <BR> <BR> Why, you ask? Because I let myself get as big as I was when I started this journey. <BR> <BR> <BR> I almost cried. But, this is my doing. I would just put on a pair of my "fat" pants, but Noooo I had to get rid of all of those bigger sizes because I SWORE I would never get this big again! <BR> <BR> SO PISSED at myself right now. ERRRRGHERRRGGGHHHHEEEGGGHHEHERHEHRHERHHEG <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> <em>15</em> <em>2... Wed, 21 Nov 2012 15:19:47 EST Truth Hurts! So today was day #2 of tracking EVERYTHING I put in my mouth! <BR> I did wonderful up til the bf went to bed and I was left alone; just me, my fridge, and my carbs. Ugh.. I didn't binge too bad. I stopped myself half way through and thought about how I felt the other day. That helped. <BR> <BR> So, I took a good long look at my Food Tracker totals and to my disbelief, I ate 2648 calories today. HOLY MOLY!! That is 1100 calories MORE than I needed. <BR> <BR> Really looking at it from a nu... Fri, 16 Nov 2012 23:57:49 EST Secrets. I have held this secret for a long time. Now, it's time it comes out. <BR> <BR> A long time ago, I read "The Biggest Loser" diet & exercise book. In it, it asks what type of eater you are. I am the classic "closet eater." This means that I secretly eat. I will binge when no one is looking; not even my bf (who loves me no matter what) who I LIVE with knows about this. It's like a drug addiction. I will even lie about what I ate. Afterwards, I feel incredibly guilty and overwhelmed with anxiet... Thu, 15 Nov 2012 09:26:26 EST What do you look like? I went for a walk/jog today. I signed up for my first 5k and it's next weekend. It was freezing cold today, with wicked wind. I made a whole bunch of excuses, but I spoke to my friend (who is fitter than I am and has lost 50 lbs herself) and she told me that we ARE RUNNING THE WHOLE 5k. I told her she was mean and I won't be able to keep up! But, being the wonderful friend she is, she re-assured me that I will be fine. She's not a runner either and that when she ran, she does "the old man sh... Fri, 2 Nov 2012 12:54:58 EST Where's my head? I'm back to 170 pounds. I lost 25 pounds just to gain 10 back in a month... My pants are starting to get tighter. I AM GOING BACKWARDS! <BR> <BR> I've got to stop this cycle. This is how I gained so much in the first place. I lost sight. I got too comfortable.. "Oh, I can eat this. Oh, I can eat that, I'm not gonna gain it back, blah blah.." Then, BOOM-- you're fat again! <BR> <BR> Ugh... You may think I'm being too hard on myself. But, truthfully, I haven't been hard enough. I've been so... Mon, 27 Aug 2012 08:59:41 EST M--ugh--ndays ! I am just not a Monday person. I think it has more to do with not liking my job than anything else. So, here I am (at work) and doing a SP blog... oh well. I've been sending out my resumes like crazy, so I can land a "big girl" job. No luck so far. But, I shan't be deterred! <em>58</em> <BR> <BR> I didn't get on the internet at all this weekend. Crazy, huh? So, here are my days 3,4, and 5 of the 80 day weight loss challenge. <BR> <BR> Day #3: Is your UGW in an unhealthy range of BMI? <BR... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 08:07:32 EST day #2 I'm at work, so this will be short! But, it's day #2 of the 80 day weight loss challenge. The question is: Describe your dream/goal body. <BR> <BR> Well, my dream body will be strong, but curvy. I want to have a tight core, so I can have less back pain and be able to move around easier. I'd like everything to be a bit smaller and tighter (ie: No more muffin top!) lol. <BR> <BR> Something like this would be wonderful: <BR> <BR> <img src=" Fri, 6 Jul 2012 08:50:40 EST 80 day weight loss challenge <link><BR>20605455954 </link> <BR> <BR> One of my friends who I met through SP is doing this as well. It's really just to keep you focused. I figured, why not?! <BR> <BR> DAY ONE: Write your current stats: <BR> Height: 5'2" <BR> current weight: 165 as of this a.m... ugh <BR> goal weight: 125 lbs <BR> Why are you losing weight: to feel strong and beautiful, to be healthy so i can be the best me that I can! <em>36</em> <BR> <BR> OK, that was easy ... Thu, 5 Jul 2012 07:49:30 EST Whoa.. Hello again! So, it has been 7 months since I last blogged. SEVEN MONTHS. Where the heck did the time go and WHY am I still struggling in the 160's.. ? <BR> <BR> Ok, so I know why. I've lost my mojo. Yep, I was so ecstatic about losing the 25 lbs that I stopped working at it and just enjoyed being almost two sizes smaller. I guess that's not really a problem, I've been maintaining for the past few months. But, I've gotten so slack with my eating habits, that I've started putting it back on. Slowly the s... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 09:04:02 EST Goals Since I started SP in August, I haven't written down any of my goals. Every time I go to do it, I feel overwhelmed because there are so many things I want to accomplish and putting them in writing actually makes me responsible for them. SO, since it's the first day of a brand new year, I will finally make myself accountable. <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> 2012 Yearly Goals: <BR> <BR> 1. No more negative thinking. (ie: stop putting myself down!) <BR> 2. STOP PROCRASTINATING! (this is not just abou... Sun, 1 Jan 2012 17:02:19 EST DENIAL. I've read so many things about binge eating and have always thought "Wow, I'm so glad that I don't do that. I just overeat." Or, "I'm just a foodie and love food, but I don't gorge on it." <BR> <BR> Today I realized that I am in denial. <BR> <BR> I've been in a funk lately. Bad. Call it the blues, depression, whatever, but I'm down. You wouldn't think so, with the Holiday season in tow, seeing my wonderful family, and having lost a pant size. But, I am. <BR> <BR> I feel like I can't shak... Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:47:32 EST Stuck in the '70's The 170's, that is! <BR> <BR> GRRR... I need to up my workouts. I was so excited to be out of the 180's, but now I've hit a plateau at 170. <BR> <BR> I know what I need to do. But, with my crazy work schedule this past week, I couldn't get any workouts in. And, with Thanksgiving on Thursday, I definitely did not eat like I should've. <BR> <BR> Hopefully, no actually, FOR SURE, I am back on track this week. Starting TODAY. <BR> <BR> <em>29</em> <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Happy Sunday Spar... Sun, 27 Nov 2011 10:59:08 EST I suck. That's just how I feel. It's an off week. I know we all have these. I know it will get better. But, at this moment in time, I just feel like I suck. <BR> <BR> I cried in the shower the other night. Why? I don't know... I just had to. <BR> <BR> I need to make some changes. <BR> <BR> I'm not happy. <BR> <BR> That's all... just had to let it out. Off to bed. Another long day at work tomorrow. At least it's only 12 hours and not 15. <BR> <BR> Nite. <BR> <BR> <em>33</em> Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:20:35 EST Adios 15 pounds! So...if you've read any of my status updates, or previous blogs, you know I've been really sick lately. I got on antibiotics a few days ago and I can feel my energy returning which is WONDERFUL!! So, throughout being sick I didn't, nay, COULDN'T get up and workout. But, I tried to stick to healthy eating (when I had an appetite to eat)even though all I wanted was chocolate and ice cream. <BR> <BR> WELL--IT PAID OFF! I thought for sure I had just maintained, but I actually lost 2 pounds this ... Sat, 12 Nov 2011 08:23:43 EST MISERABLE So, this is day 3 of being totally and utterly under the weather. I am so sick. I even called into work today (which I NEVER do). <BR> <BR> For some reason I've been getting sick a lot lately. I feel like I've been sick every couple weeks for the past couple of months. I work in retail, so I know part of it is because of working with the public. But, I wash my hands regularly and use hand sanitizer. I thought that since I've been working out more and eating better (I've lost 13 pounds!) tha... Mon, 7 Nov 2011 10:01:20 EST So this is a "doggie box".... I went to dinner last night with a girlfriend. This is what happened: <BR> <BR> I skipped the warm bread served with different dips in the beginning of the meal. (I MUST be a masochist because it was complete TORTURE). lol <BR> <BR> I substituted my mashed potatoes for steamed zucchini as a side dish. <BR> <BR> I chose the baked salmon. <BR> <BR> I had a small dinner salad as an appetizer. <BR> <BR> THEN--holy moly. I only ate HALF of my meal. Normally, I would've eaten the whole entire... Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:15:56 EST 32 So, I went for a little retail therapy yesterday. <BR> I decided to try on a pair of jeans from the Buckle. A few months back, I tried on the largest size they had (33" waist) and they were TIIIGHT. I mean, I left that store feeling like complete sh!t. Jeans shopping is always a nightmare. <BR> <BR> BUT-yesterday I left with a pair of 32's..and they fit perfectly. Not tight at all. I just slipped them on. No effort. No squeezing. No CRYING. <BR> <BR> It's only one size pants. I have seve... Sat, 22 Oct 2011 14:55:30 EST Beauty in Motion (with Pics!) I live in MI and we're having some FANTASTIC weather lately. <BR> Here is my 17.89 mile bike ride from the other day... :) <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Don't hate it 'cuz it's old...Love it 'cuz it's vintage!:) <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> My metaphor for changing my lifestyle. <BR> Like the leaves on the trees are changing into beautiful colors, I too am changin... Sat, 8 Oct 2011 09:22:49 EST Letter to my Nemesis Dear Belly: <BR> <BR> You and I have been friends since I can remember. You've been there for me throughout elementary and middle school. During High School you disappeared for a couple years, but came back with a vengeance in college!:( I'm so sick of you weighing me down! Enough is enough! <BR> <BR> I've rid myself of most all of the bad people and influences in my life. But, for some reason, you stick around! Well, not anymore. You keep me from being the confident, sexy, and outgoing wom... Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:56:06 EST