MBOART's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MBOART MBOART's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Change of mindset... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6106156 So this year just like so many others I said it's time to lose this weight. I turn 50 in one short month and back in December I was saying I need to lose 50 by the age of 50. Foolish thinking for sure. The start of 2016 proved to be a challenge for me... My very first full blown anxiety attack ever made me rethink a lot of things in my life. I looked around and realized I sometimes expect far too much of myself and I needed to step back and learn to breathe a take care of me again. With that ... Sat, 27 Feb 2016 14:43:13 EST day two http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5579204 Sooooo.. day two... seriously I can't wait to say day 200... or even better 2000. Day two just sounds so insignificant. Like seriously who really cares that you made it through one day and have started the next. Well in all honesty, I guess I need to look at it differently. I mean yes I made it through day one without a hiccup. I walked a mile to start off my exercise routine slow and easy. Moxie was my mantra when I thought about grabbing that left over christmas cookie or that can of pop... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 10:22:27 EST Resolutions........MOXIE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5577697 Resolutions....everyone has them.. we resolve to .........(fill in the blank) Every New Years Eve we relish in all that the new year can bring to us. We dream and plan and think about all that is possible. Then that one word as positive as it starts out to be seems to turn into something just short of being negative. We always seem to make our resolutions lofty goals that take on a life of their own. They have a way of teasing us throughout the month of January.... making it's presence known... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 11:03:07 EST Making it loud and clear. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5412239 A week ago I was feeling awesome. My mood was upbeat, my energy was high, and even though the plummeting scale seemed to have hit a plateau I was feeling good about it. Then my daughters graduation party day was finally here. I didn't eat poorly for the most part. I did however have a ton of leftovers as I usually do. So for the past week I have eaten whatever, whenever and yesterday I felt like a mac truck had run me over. No energy, headaches, stomach issues, you get my point. It was o... Sat, 6 Jul 2013 10:01:55 EST Bittersweet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5405346 Tomorrow I am throwing my last graduation party. It will be officially known that all my children have moved on into the next phase of their lives. High School drama will be a thing of the past and now the world of college and young adulthood looms ahead. It's sort of bittersweet for me. I joke with my friends and say I'm going to have an empty nest party come September but really I know that I will be very sad to not have them ride with me to school every morning like they have done for th... Sat, 29 Jun 2013 10:00:11 EST To weigh or not to weigh.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5403312 That is my question. I have read both sides of the coin when it comes to daily weigh ins. I've been stepping on that scale every day for as long as I can remember. It's almost ritualistic. I tell myself that if I do this I can regulate what I'm doing right and wrong from day to day. BUT what is killing me is the totally negative effect it can have on my mood right off the bat each morning. My daughter looked at me yesterday and said, "you have to stop doing that every day... get in a poop... Thu, 27 Jun 2013 09:22:50 EST BAM!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5402324 Well just as I knew it would... I hit that "speedbump" hard and bounced back up the scale 1.5lbs. Go figure. Even though I know it was coming, just not sure when, it still was like a kick in the pants.I have now gotten over that and think to myself "Okay.. I can now do one of two things.. I can give up and say I am who I am and I need to love myself as I am.. or I can pick myself up, dust myself off, rev up my engines and blast over that bump." I choose to remind myself that in one week I ... Wed, 26 Jun 2013 11:08:52 EST roadblock looming http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5398976 it is inevitable that this rapid weight loss that I am experiencing will slow down to a crawl and maybe even retreat backwards very very soon. I know that when I go from "watching" what I am eating but still allowing myself to have basically anything I want anytime of the day to eating low carb, drinking an abundance of water, and exercising I loose weight rather quickly at first. I understand the concepts of "water weight" and all that. The high and the momentum it gives me to keep moving ... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 09:48:54 EST Life is a highway..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5398127 okay... so that first 10 lbs. came off pretty easy... as it usually does when you radically change your habits. What makes me ponder though is how in three days I can dump all that. I know the proverbial water weight is the first to go. I have been drinking water like a fish and yes I have noticed a difference in how "hungry" I am and actually how energized I feel. NOW.. where does our silly little brain get off letting us FORGET how good this all feels in a matter of minutes, hours, days... Sat, 22 Jun 2013 09:47:30 EST Lock opened....please enter http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5396152 So yesterday the combination lined up and "clicked." The door opened and I chose path number 1 (shouldn't we all believe ourselves to be #1) and was able to stick to my eating plan (the one my mind has always known works best for me). I held fast to the path and didn't indulge after dinner in anything but a bit of cheese and one can of diet. dr. pepper. Yes I know that soda is doing nothing for me but well.. I went all day without the 4 or 5 I usually drink. The scale rewarded me today wit... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 10:07:48 EST something has to click http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5394969 It has come to my attention after all these years of being on the diet yo-yo team that in order for the process to work (for more than a week or so) something has to click in my head, my heart, and my body. It's sort of like a combination lock. If one of them doesn't line up just right, the "new me" door that is opens leads to a brick wall very quickly instead of the road to being a lot more healthy and lets face better looking. When I think back to those times when I was successful for MO... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 09:33:58 EST Priorities http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5270999 Once again I find myself "starting over." You would think that by now the GOOD habit I form of working out and watching what I eat for a month at a time would stick. Instead it seems to be destroyed almost instantiously when something in life changes. I need to figure out what to do when those life changes happen that doesn't include forgetting all my hard work at being more healthy. How is it that you can so quickly forget how good it feels after a workout? Everytime I restart I get tha... Sun, 3 Mar 2013 11:21:15 EST time to hook it up.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5210473 for the first time in a long time it's time to hook up the dvd player to the tv and pop in the new walking working out that I bought. I'm going to push the furniture out of the way, get on my shorts and put on a t-shirt, slide into my sneakers and reveal in the after glow of a good sweat. Monday and Tuesday night I have roller derby practice... which gives me one heck of an aerobic workout. So tonight I have to get my butt off the couch and do it because I know that I need to do it. I have... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 18:45:35 EST closet eater???? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5208079 I've decided to start writing what I like to refer to as quiet ramblings. They are just thoughts that sort of pour from my head, sometimes with no real rhyme or reason behind them. I sit here now and think about my life and how food has always been a major part of it. In some societies or cultural backgrounds it's almost expected that every function revolves around food or at least food is present. I don't really know if it is my German heritage or the small town country life style that h... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 09:43:02 EST it's time to RESUME.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5206519 yep.. just like so many times before here I am starting over..... or am I? Is it really a start over or a resuming after a mild setback. When you say starting over it's like you are telling yourself that you've failed and you're back to square one with nothing gained from all the work you did before you slacked off or let life changes create a roadblock. I have not gone back to the point I started from back in July. I am still a much better person from what I did back then and the knowledg... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:16:37 EST Day one back in the saddle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5073728 I feel pretty good tonight. I went through the day following my eating plan and drinking my water like I should. Derby practice was great and I can feel it in my hips and legs... great workout. My lack of exercise and paying attention to the food I have been putting in my mouth just totally made me feel horrible. I know that within a week.. my energy will be back, my sleep will be restful and I will be happily regaining control over my world. What could be better! I guess I needed to ha... Mon, 24 Sep 2012 23:09:18 EST I took the wrong fork in the road http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5070145 So school starts back in session and my worse case seniario kicks in... I took the fork in the road I was suppose to avoid! That fork has no execise, daily water consumption or healthy eating. Now I'm realizing just what a bad fork that can be too. I feel tired all the time, I don't have the same level of happy happy joy joy that I did before and I gained back 4lbs... that to me is enough to say U-Turn Time!!! So today I'm going to start planning out a way to make sure that I get back to t... Sat, 22 Sep 2012 09:54:30 EST It takes a visual. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5014977 Today I did something that I haven't done in a very long time. I looked at a plot graph of my weight loss and realized that even though I had days which showed I stumbled, overall the dots have steadily gone on a path that leads down. That was a positive image that I needed to see. My unrealistic goal of a huge weight loss this summer was understandably not reached. Yes I had grand ideas of being 40lbs slimmer in 2 short months. Instead my weight loss has truely been slow and steady. Unbel... Tue, 14 Aug 2012 11:12:43 EST just do it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5013374 I think I've gotten to the point now where I don't question, ponder, or dwell on getting in my exercise in the morning. I just do it! What is weird is that I have found myself in this place of self-motivation. The girl that use to make up any excuse not to break a sweat now sort of looks forward to it. I have come to understand that it is a necessary part of my day just like eating, bathing, brushing my teeth and interacting with people. It's become something that makes me happy and the r... Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:56:01 EST a moment of awe http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5009554 I'm planning on making and canning salsa today. So I went out to pick the green peppers and hungarian hot peppers I have grown in my garden and as I was walking through my apple trees back to my house I stopped and had a moment of awe. How blessed I am to have the ability to pick my own veggies and apples (when the frost doesn't kill the blossoms.) How fortunate I am to own my own house which I can afford. How happy I am being able to work in my flower beds and enjoy the colors and watch t... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 10:46:53 EST The Wall! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5006241 WOW.... that's all I have to say about the last few days. I have managed to get myself over that wall that pops up and becomes pretty ominus to face. You know the wall I'm talking about. The one that shows up when you're the most vulnerable to it's presence. It stands there in front of you taunting you to climb over it and written all over it is,"It's easier to go back than go forward" in HUGE, bright neon graffiti letters! It's size just seems overwhelming and talking yourself over it see... Wed, 8 Aug 2012 08:29:01 EST A mystery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5000391 I always find it hard to understand and, quite frankly, believe those mornings when you wake up, get on the scale expecting it to stay the same or even go up, and it actually has gone down! Let me explain. I did not track ANYTHING but my water consuption yesterday. I had a day where I allowed "life" to take over instead of me being in control. These are days which I know we face in life, but I also know we choose how to handle them also. I didn't handle mine as well as I wanted. I should ... Sat, 4 Aug 2012 07:28:17 EST skeletons in the basement http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4997743 How many of us have bags/boxes/tubs/totes etc. of clothes that we've unfortunately outgrew but yet held onto thinking "I'll get back into that" hiding deep in the basement/attic/or storage area? Both of my hands are high in the air. I have uncovered about 6 such containers stuffed full. Well today I'm faced with the task of really acknowledging the fact that maybe I will, and then again, maybe I won't get back into them. What I mean is not that I won't lose the weight that I want to be abl... Thu, 2 Aug 2012 10:15:21 EST it's not about the scale..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4994573 I'm beginning to realize that I am really stuck on the whole.. it's not about the scale thing! It's really NOT is it? WOW! I can't believe that is my thought process now. I know that I am probably repeating myself AGAIN, but when i think back to how I use to react to "dieting" it was ALL about the scale, to the point of having it absolutely ruin my day from 7 am on. When the family has to hide the scale from me you know it became an issue. This time around it's not about the scale. I kno... Tue, 31 Jul 2012 10:59:29 EST it doesn't mean failure! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4992949 So I have made it through these past couple of weeks with several parties to attend. I have not punished myself by saying "you can't have that" but I've made sure that I was mindful of what I was putting in my mouth and not over indulging. I have also, for some strange reason, discovered the mindset that after a day of a party, I can get right back into my walking shoes and keep going down this path. I didn't have to retreat or be side tract by a" fork" (or that left over brownie) in the road... Mon, 30 Jul 2012 11:00:51 EST Staying mindful http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4990230 I have been faced with a wedding, a reunion, a roller derby meeting/picnis and now a christmas in July party in the past two weeks. So far I have faired pretty well in terms of staying on track. I have kept my eating under control and found that I can do it if I stay mindful. <BR> <BR> I have come to realize it's okay to take a little bit of EVERYTHING. The key is proportion. instead of two massive spoonfuls of potato salad, a small scoop is all I need to enjoy it. One helping of a mea... Sat, 28 Jul 2012 09:10:17 EST Challenge completed! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4989043 In the middle of June I started seriously getting into the mind set that I needed to workout/exercise in some way shape or form in order to get my old shape back. Now mind you, I am not one to spend hours at the gym. I despise stationary bikes (you should see the dust on the one in my front room), elipticals or treadmills just don't tickle my fancy. So I started out doing Leslie Sansones walking workouts, walking in my neighborhood, and doing the occassional stability ball workout. That al... Fri, 27 Jul 2012 10:08:29 EST Back on track we go! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4985929 The past couple of days I have not been as "on track" as I should be. I mean I am getting in my workouts, but I have been very loose about my eating and not tracking it at all. In the past I think I would have told myself... oh well.. this is so much easier let's just forget it and go back to the old habits. Instead, for what ever reason, this time I'm saying.. okay.. new day.. back on track we go! So today I am going to let those past couple days go and pick up where I started. I'm going... Wed, 25 Jul 2012 08:43:57 EST The best 15 minutes.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4982872 I got to be 16 again yesterday. After more than 30 years, my dad took me on a ride on his new Can-Am Spyder! It was like I was a kid again! We even drove around the cemetary to stop at my mother's grave to show her! Yes it was pretty bittersweet to say the least. But I think it will also be a pretty special memory for both myself and my dad. We aren't a family to spit out I love yous or huge hugs. We know how each other feels through actions and reading into each other's faces. I have ... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 09:17:36 EST no more eeyore http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4980435 This morning has been different. Different in that I am just a very happy person. I had a great time last night meeting up with old high school classmates on the spur of the moment. I had a couple beers, went to the old pizza joint we use to hang out at and even had a slice of pizza. I didn't get home until 3 am! It was really a very enjoyable evening. As I laid in bed this morning, I thought, okay.. I'll get up at 9, workout at 10, and still have my normal routine in place.. just an ho... Sat, 21 Jul 2012 12:05:37 EST When will it be real? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4979110 So today I stepped on the scale, (my normal morning routine,) and for the second day in a row it went DOWN. Now here is the sad part. Part of me wants to jump up and down and celebrate that this plateau that I've been hanging on has finally been broken, but the other half is saying, hold on there sister I'm just playing with you. When does it really sink in that the weight is gone? When can I truely believe that I am losing weight and it's going to stay off? Will it take another 10lbs. f... Fri, 20 Jul 2012 11:16:52 EST I don't want to jinx myself. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4977369 I'm in a little bit of disbelief right now. And seriously I'm even a little uneasy thinking about saying anything to anyone about it. It's like superstitious me has entered into the room... "don't you dare say it out loud or you'll jinx it"... that kind of feeling. I have no idea where it came from or why this time it's something I'd rather keep quiet than share. Could it be that fear of failure again? Could it be self punishment for letting myself get back to this place again? Could i... Thu, 19 Jul 2012 08:44:47 EST I will still... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4975752 I have to question when the "right" thoughts about my "diet" and exercise are going to sink in and remain the most important. When do we stop saying it's all about the number on the scale and truely focus on the way we feel. It's almost like the line from Steele Magnolias when they are at the cemetary and Shelby's mom says something like ..my head knows that but I wish someone would tell my heart...! I know I am doing what is best for my body. I exercise daily now.. even if it's for only 1... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 08:55:27 EST Rollercoaster http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4974407 Isn't it amazing how up beat and positive you can be one day and the next you feel the total opposite. That is my rollercoaster ride unfolding today. Yesterday I was full of all the positives about great I feel and how I need to look beyond that number on the scale. I ate smart, exercised, went to derby practice and gave it my all there and have just a good day! My blog really did say what I was feeling at the time. I was actually pretty proud of myself. <BR> <BR> Today is a totally diffe... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 11:10:57 EST Change of inspiration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4972591 I am getting tired of sounding like a debbie downer all the time when it comes to that lack of scale results that I am so patiently awaiting to see. I am thinking that maybe my focus should NOT be on that stupid contraption that tells us the force of gravity pulling down on us, but rather on the way i FEEL. Let's start to list what is starting to change because I've chosen to become more active in my life and eat more healthy. 1. I am drinking water again and not sustaining my life and qu... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 10:20:32 EST results? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4971160 4 weeks into this thing whole hearted....and my results are .... well... not exactly to my liking. I have not seen a substantial weight loss (like I use to when I was like 30!) and quite frankly it's a bit hard to swallow. Sad thing is I know that part of the reason I'm not seeing that scale inch down more is because I am simply not eating enough. The old thoughts of "workout more, eat less" haunt me still. This is with me even knowing and understanding the need to take in enough calories ... Sun, 15 Jul 2012 11:40:31 EST off day yesterday... back on track today.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4969375 Today I am proud of myself for not letting yesterday put an abrupt end to all the hard work I've put in over the last month. I allowed my self to not work out yesterday and let loose a little. In the past a day like that would have stopped me cold. Let's face it, when we go back to what we did before our new behaviors took hold, it is pretty easy to revert back and just do what we had done for years instead of what we' ve been doing for weeks. Like I said though I put that behind me and wa... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 22:48:53 EST how can i be thinking negatively now? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4965061 So I've been in the "groove" now for 4 weeks. I am feeling amazing most of the time, sleeping better, not having to fight with myself to workout quite so horribly as before, and just overall happy. Yesterday was a battle to say the least. I was fine when I was off being engaged in art musuem activities, but when I got home and everyone seemed to rub me the wrong way that urge to eat and say forget this whole diet and exercise thing showed up in a BIG way. My legs hurt, I had to make dinner... Wed, 11 Jul 2012 08:06:24 EST Moving with the cheese http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4963085 This week my schedule that I have been following for the last three weeks will be totally thrown off. I had it down to where I got up and had a cup of coffee, read my emails, maybe apark article or two and then got my workout in starting somewhere between 9 and 9:30am Then I had a high protein meal and my day was off on a positive note. This week I'm giving my brain some exercise too as I am participating in a workshop at our local art museum design for teachers. I have done this in pri... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 22:57:37 EST I've got a little ZIP in my "go get'em" today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4960395 Wow.. today I just have to say I feel GREAT! I got up this morning not wondering about what or when to get my workout in I just did it. Wii active workout on the 30 challenge and then a 2 mile walk outside. There were no questions, there was no loathing, I just did it. Now it's just past 11 and I am ready to tackle the day! I would like to be this upbeat EVERY day!! Sun, 8 Jul 2012 11:14:25 EST These are the days that are worth remembering http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4959247 So this morning I got up at my normal time. Had a cup of coffee even though it's hotter than hades outside and decided what I would do for my daily workout. I decided that I needed to get outside and get a 2 mile walk in before it would become uninviting to do so. So I put on my new Nike's and grabbed my Ipod and my other half and said lets go. I've been trying to get him moving a bit more lately and it's always nicer to have someone to walk with. We accomplished the walk in under 50 min... Sat, 7 Jul 2012 12:24:02 EST It's becoming a habit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4958645 I am offically hooked on exercise! There is now an incredible sense of guilt that showers down on me when I do not workout. Today it was proven to me. I have been very faithful for the past 8 days about getting at least 30 minutes of activity in during my day. Today I was visiting at my sisters and our plan to hit the Zumba session at her local gym didn't happen. The heat that Ohio and Pennsylvania has been experiencing the heat wave my thoughts of a walk around the neighborhood was not ... Fri, 6 Jul 2012 22:56:31 EST It's starting to rub off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4955709 So my need to exercise and feel great is starting to rub off in my house hold. My oldest daughter has come to see how wonderful and energenic you feel when you exercise. Her favorite thing to do is the Walk at Home dvd's.... and I must say.. I totally enjoy them also. What is really great is she plans out her workouts now and sticks to it. Today as we were walking around the local shopping center she looked at me and her sister and said. I have sooo much energy. I was like.. see.. look ... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 22:58:52 EST Have to remember... it takes time. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4953239 These are the days that I wake up and hop on the scale and go.. WHAT???? I understand that the body basically can hold onto or let go of anything it wants..without me telling it to. Too many factors revolve around what happens and me not being a dietician or a physician, I can only understand what I have read to help me out in all of this. So....when the scale doesn't agree with how I feel I keep in mind that my body will change as I exercise. My body is not going to stay status quo when I... Tue, 3 Jul 2012 09:26:40 EST These are the hard days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4948698 I'm not going to lie to myself and say there is NO way I could have gained any weight yesterday. I made sure that I exercised in the morning knowing that the afternoon/evening I would be sharing a beer or two with my friends. (that turned into 4 beers over the 6 hour period that we were out) But stillll.. it's hard to step on that scale and see a higher number than I did yesterday. I know that our body changes daily and that it is unrealistic to believe that every day I step on that scale it... Sat, 30 Jun 2012 09:25:44 EST WHEW... am I out of shape http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4946045 Today I grabbed an old pilates DVD that I use to do almost religiously back in the days of exercise obsession. I realized how out of shape I really am. While I was able to get through it.. I don't remember it being THAT hard. So I guess I will be able to start to gauge how fit I'm becoming with how well I can get through that workout DVD. I know once I can accomplish that..especially the roll overs.. I will be a much better person health wise. :o) Thu, 28 Jun 2012 10:43:48 EST Feeling a little bit nervous http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4944312 Here is the deal. About 4 years ago I was on one of my fitness kicks. I started on January 1st and by April I had lost about 40 lbs. and was exercising at least 90 minutes a day. I was becoming almost obsessed with diet and exercise. The worst of it came when I every morning my attitude for the day was totally influenced by the number on the scale. It got to the point where my better half decided he needed to hide the scale in order to keep the harmony in the house. I was a daily weigh ... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 09:05:58 EST OMG I ran.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4943669 so last night at derby practice we did the first half of it in sneakers.. to change things up. I was a little concerned at first.. but ended up with one hell of a workout and the best feel good that I've had in a while. The most challenging was when our fearless leader set up three cones down a line and then informed us we were doing suicides!!! I have not ran like that since ... well.. 1984. So that was pretty shocking to my system.. but in the same breath I was pretty excited that I actu... Tue, 26 Jun 2012 19:35:23 EST Here we go..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4941330 whew.. sorta nice to finally have a place to put into words what I am thinking. SO.. here we are.. Monday June 25th. Last week I finally decided to hit the ground and get my old self back. I was creating a photo album for my step mother of the kids over the ages and found photos of me when I was in my health groove. Lost weight, exercised and was HAPPY!! Where in the hell did that person go? Made me realize that if I could do that once.. I can do that again. It's not going to be easy...th... Mon, 25 Jun 2012 09:57:39 EST