MAVERICK59's SparkPeople Blog MAVERICK59's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Pushing through another day. Depression is feeling heavy. all I want to do is sleep. The dogs don't get along at all, so I have to keep them separated with 2 gates and kennels. My daughter will pick her dog up tomorrow afternoon, so it's only for 1 more day. <BR> A family friend was involved in an awful accident 2 days ago. His girlfriend fell off the back of his motorcycle on the freeway, she was immediately run over by an SUV. She is dead. The young man driving the motor cycle is beside himself with grief. No drugs or... Sat, 25 Jul 2015 11:45:15 EST The pain of hind sight. It's been 8 weeks since my Jack died. My heart and soul still ache so much for him. This house is so quiet and lonely. I try to stay out of the living room as much as possible, that is where we would hang out together, talk, watch favorite TV shows and compare our days. It's also were we planned our future vacations and road trips together. That room feels the loneliest of all. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I got a bill specific to the CPR and intubation performed on Jack when he having the heart at... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 13:35:01 EST Grieving I receive daily emails from a grief support group. Having lost my husband, my mother and my dog in an 8 month period, today's message is very helpful to me in understanding why my pain runs so deep and my heart aches with every waking thought. I still grieve the death of my daughter 8 years ago. Sometimes my anguish is so strong I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. Knowing my other children, although they are all adults, still need me is what keeps me hanging on. <BR> I am sharing to... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 13:03:26 EST Your kindness has meant so much to me. I have received the most special outpouring of love and support from my Spark friends, people that have never even met me are sending cards, words of support and checking in on almost daily me to make sure I am OK. What a wonderful group of people I have come to know here on Spark. <BR> Thank you all so much for your heartfelt support during this very difficult time. <BR> <BR> Belinda <img src=""> Mon, 22 Dec 2014 00:39:38 EST I don't know how to do this. We buried my husband yesterday. Last night I just wanted to be dead too, so this pain will stop. My sweet sister has been here with me this week. She has to go back to Wisconsin tomorrow. I'm afraid to be alone. I don’t know how to be alone. <BR> <BR> I don’t know how to survive these crushing pains of loneliness, regrets, shame and anger. I want a chance to do it over, to be a kinder wife, a more appreciative wife, a more joyful wife. I want a chance to tell him the wonderful things abou... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 11:18:39 EST