MAVERICK59's SparkPeople Blog MAVERICK59's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community My baby girl is married now. The wedding was perfect. The sky was a bit overcast but it was warm with a gentle breeze blowing. Everyone had a fun, relaxed time. I could not have asked for a better day for my little girl. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> He really does love her, and that is all a mom can ask for. <BR> Sun, 25 Oct 2015 10:54:32 EST My rings. My Jack has been gone nearly 9 months. I know technically as a widow I am single, but I still feel very much married. I am devastated right now, I have lost my wedding rings. I took them off because my fingers were swelling and now I cannot find them. Both of my daughters have helped me search but so far nothing. I have been looking for week. I feel so sad. It is like losing a part of Jack all over again. I need to find my rings. Please wish me luck. Sat, 5 Sep 2015 13:29:42 EST A quick note to catch up. I will be joining the Purple Passion team for the fall challenge. I hope to see some of you there. <BR> <BR> I have been having a great deal of pain in my legs recently, but I am trying to not let it stop me from exercising. I took my little dog around the park (about the size of a small city block) yesterday afternoon and again this morning. She really does love getting out for walks. <BR> <BR> I start the school year with a dozen new 4 year olds tomorrow. Several of them have been visi... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 15:08:22 EST Still pushing through. August 10th would have been our 18th wedding anniversary. I remember him promising me would celebrate our silver anniversary together. I know he tried. He did his very best. <BR> I know I will have to face a lot of 'firsts' without him. <BR> I still wear my wedding ring, I still feel married. The ring has a beautiful diamond in it that he surprised me with about 8 years after we were married. He had taken my ring to get it repaired and brought it back with a nearly flawless 1 carat diamond... Sat, 8 Aug 2015 13:38:08 EST Pushing through another day. Depression is feeling heavy. all I want to do is sleep. The dogs don't get along at all, so I have to keep them separated with 2 gates and kennels. My daughter will pick her dog up tomorrow afternoon, so it's only for 1 more day. <BR> A family friend was involved in an awful accident 2 days ago. His girlfriend fell off the back of his motorcycle on the freeway, she was immediately run over by an SUV. She is dead. The young man driving the motor cycle is beside himself with grief. No drugs or... Sat, 25 Jul 2015 11:45:15 EST The pain of hind sight. It's been 8 weeks since my Jack died. My heart and soul still ache so much for him. This house is so quiet and lonely. I try to stay out of the living room as much as possible, that is where we would hang out together, talk, watch favorite TV shows and compare our days. It's also were we planned our future vacations and road trips together. That room feels the loneliest of all. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I got a bill specific to the CPR and intubation performed on Jack when he having the heart at... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 13:35:01 EST Grieving I receive daily emails from a grief support group. Having lost my husband, my mother and my dog in an 8 month period, today's message is very helpful to me in understanding why my pain runs so deep and my heart aches with every waking thought. I still grieve the death of my daughter 8 years ago. Sometimes my anguish is so strong I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. Knowing my other children, although they are all adults, still need me is what keeps me hanging on. <BR> I am sharing to... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 13:03:26 EST Your kindness has meant so much to me. I have received the most special outpouring of love and support from my Spark friends, people that have never even met me are sending cards, words of support and checking in on almost daily me to make sure I am OK. What a wonderful group of people I have come to know here on Spark. <BR> Thank you all so much for your heartfelt support during this very difficult time. <BR> <BR> Belinda <img src=""> Mon, 22 Dec 2014 00:39:38 EST I don't know how to do this. We buried my husband yesterday. Last night I just wanted to be dead too, so this pain will stop. My sweet sister has been here with me this week. She has to go back to Wisconsin tomorrow. I'm afraid to be alone. I don’t know how to be alone. <BR> <BR> I don’t know how to survive these crushing pains of loneliness, regrets, shame and anger. I want a chance to do it over, to be a kinder wife, a more appreciative wife, a more joyful wife. I want a chance to tell him the wonderful things abou... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 11:18:39 EST