MARY1964's SparkPeople Blog MARY1964's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Stress eating I don’t get hungry. Like literally. My grehlin hormone doesn’t work but no one has ever really been able to tell me why. I eat because I like food. Good food. Buttery, salty, savory, sweet etc. I love to eat. I’m also a stress eater. And a tired eater. And a sad eater. Happy eater. You get the gist. I’m all things right now. Stressed, tired, sad ... I had raw veggies for dinner. Not really a salad, just a bowl of raw vegetables. I’m so full. But I want pizza, fried chicken or a mushroom... Thu, 24 May 2018 23:36:03 EST Meds are still keeping the cancer at bay Today the oncologist said "You haven't lost much weight since you came to us last year". I said "I have lost 40 pounds since mid July!" She blinked at me and then said "Okay I stand corrected". I kind of surprised myself actually because this doctor intimidates the hell out of me. <BR> <BR> I've been beating myself up and really 40 pounds isn't great for someone with as much weight to lose as I have but it's nothing to sneeze at either. I still have a long way to go but I'm determined. I mea... Thu, 10 May 2018 17:45:33 EST Weight gain From 11/15 to 1/1 I gained five pounds. I'm not upset about that. From 1/1 to 1/7 I gained four pounds and that pisses me off! I've been eating on track since 12/27 so WTF? Whatever I know all the platitudes. It is what it is and I'm just going to try to not let it tick me off and stay on task. <BR> <BR> Victories <BR> <BR> Food prep for the week done on Sunday and man is it some tasty food <BR> <BR> I had to throw stale home made cookies away because I forgot about them. FORGOT ABOUT TH... Mon, 8 Jan 2018 16:42:58 EST Lunch Today I had the best lunch and I get to eat the rest tomorrow! <BR> <BR> 6 oz sliced chicken breast seasoned with garlic, salt and pepper <BR> 1 c Faro <BR> 1/4 c Kale massaged and stems removed <BR> About 10 fresh green beans steamed and cut into small pieces <BR> Tossed with 2 tbsp. Newmans Red Wine and Olive Oil dressing <BR> Added <BR> 1 tbsp. pecans <BR> 4 pickled beets sliced thin <BR> 6 cherry tomatoes sliced in half <BR> 2 tbsp. chopped black olives <BR> <BR> I haven't tracked it ... Wed, 15 Nov 2017 18:14:28 EST Really proud of myself! I missed my morning workout class today so after work I headed to another Y that had an evening class. I had never been to this one before and I was nervous but I did it! I took the class and I did the workout! I’m feeling so good right now. Wed, 1 Nov 2017 22:25:19 EST Humiliation Probably the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me in my life is when my oncologist told me that I have too much fat in my abdomen to do a hysterectomy. I’m too fat to have the cancer removed from my body. Trust me when I tell you, that will stop you from picking up that Snickers bar. I have cancer and they can’t get to it. I mean. Wow. :insert bad word here: awesome. So I’m working hard to do this right. Eating the right foods in the right portions and with the right ma... Sun, 29 Oct 2017 22:42:55 EST Just as I suspected The doctor was unimpressed with my weight loss. I’m trying not to be upset about it. It’s stupid because it is precisely what I predicted. I have to stop being so sensitive. Thu, 19 Oct 2017 18:37:45 EST Oncologist appointment today I’ll find out when my next biopsy will be scheduled. I’m disappointed not to have hit my 30 pound goal but I’m very pleased to be at 29. I know it’s not enough for her to approve my surgery yet but it’s nearly halfway to her first requirement of 75 pounds. Once I’ve lost that she said she would re-evaluate. I’m kind of nervous because this lady is tough. She’s not very touchy-feely. I’m picturing my saying “Look how well I’ve done in 90 days” and having her say “That’s terrible”. Okay I’v... Thu, 19 Oct 2017 16:42:10 EST Last ten days The last ten days I’ve been off plan not clean and not always great. My daughter was in town and we had an out of town wedding so we were on the road pretty much all weekend. I gained some weight but I think I will lose it fairly quickly. Today I’m trying one day of eating fruit. Tomorrow back to plan. Food prep and good clean food. I’ve had a lot of fruit and water. Today I’m just taking care of myself and catching up on some recordings. I’m going to head to bed early and get a fresh start... Sat, 14 Oct 2017 17:43:01 EST Twenty five pounds down I’m very pleased. In ten weeks I have lost 25 pounds with clean eating and calorie counting only. Last Wednesday I started taking a water aerobics class. I will do that three mornings a week for a few weeks then add a fourth day in. Eventually I hope to be working out in the water five days a week. The class is 45 minutes so my plan is to do half an hour of water jogging before the class and on the other two days do an hour of water jogging. There are also evening classes I can take if the jo... Sun, 1 Oct 2017 11:52:40 EST Good food <img src=""> I get such satisfaction out of being able to walk into my kitchen and fix myself a clean and healthy lunch. High fiber, good fats, complex carbohydrates. I'm a good cook and I love doing it so that helps a great deal of course. I fixed a big batch of cole slaw for the week with goats milk yogurt, a little mayonnaise and pickle juice. It's a great quick filling snack. I love good clean recipes. Saut... Sun, 3 Sep 2017 13:08:09 EST Back at it .. I've been back to eating healthy for a month. I've lost 13 pounds. I want it to be more but I can live with this number. I'm changing my eating habits but I haven't been exercising yet. Cancer is a bitch! It makes me so tired. I'm emotionally okay with all this but I want my energy level back. I have to work out in water because of arthritis pain in my back and hips. I have a pool right outside my patio door but by the time I get home from work I'm just tired. I have to do better. I am do... Sun, 13 Aug 2017 11:34:21 EST Fears I have been unemployed since January 2015. I finally found a position and start Tuesday. I have been working out hard and watching what I eat for the last year. I really want to keep up the momentum but I'm a little afraid i will fall back into my old sedentary pattern of working too long and never leaving my desk. I have the very best intentions but I really need to stick to the program! Sat, 16 Apr 2016 10:05:24 EST 3.2 Miles!! I did it! I walked 3.2 miles. Interestingly I had to stop and rest three times but not because of my back. My ankle was starting to hurt. I stopped and did some ankle stretches and it was fine after that. I'm so thrilled!! Sun, 27 Mar 2016 15:24:59 EST Easter Avoiding candy today. I'm going to try walking 3.2 miles today. Not sure if I can do it all in one go but with a couple of stretch breaks I think I can get it done. Wish me luck!! Sun, 27 Mar 2016 12:18:14 EST Swimming So I swam a mile this morning at the gym. I'm pretty proud of that. I did use swim find for about 20 of the 32 laps full disclosure. The fins really help me move through the water and give my legs a great workout. Last night I walked a mile on the treadmill (slowly) and then 1/3 mile on the track. Next time I will do a mile and a half on the treadmill and 1/2 mile on the track etc. I'm feeling pretty good about my progress. I have to start lifting weights but it's kind of intimidating to ... Fri, 20 Nov 2015 12:04:09 EST Check in Been kind of neglectful of my blogs lately - both of them. It's not that I don't have time really so I don't know why I don't post more. I'm down 66 pounds now and pushing to meet my 100 by 1/1/16 goal. We will have to see how that works out. My estimation is that it will be closer to 90 but that's nothing to sneeze at. I woke up too early this morning so I'm watching Nich Stellino cooking shows back to back until it's time to leave for the gym. I'm going to take a class this morning then... Sat, 10 Oct 2015 08:26:34 EST Calculations In order to make my year end weight loss goal I need to lose nearly three pounds a week. I'm certainly not ready to throw in the towel but that is a tall order. I will come close but up to now I have averaged a little more than 1 1/2 pounds a week so I am not optimistic. Sun, 20 Sep 2015 06:35:01 EST Introspection I've worked hard over the last ten months (since 12/18/14) to get healthy and lose weight. I have had a few hiccups and detours along the way but overall I'm proud of my accomplishments. I've taken my life back in a big way and I feel really good. I am only sharing my journey with friends and loved ones and - with the exception of here and on a FB page I belong to - keeping it off the social media grid. Just this week I had another milestone day, spending the entire afternoon walking around ... Sat, 19 Sep 2015 21:36:26 EST Birthday I have had a great week celebrating my birthday with various friends and family members. Now I'm done! I'm back to eating healthy and cooking instead of eating out. <BR> <BR> I spent a lot of time with my Mom this week and that is kind of a tough one because she cooks fattening. She uses butter in her steamed vegetables and fried foods and cream based sauces. I love her cooking but I can't eat like that all the time. Last night I hit a wall and I felt terrible. Tired, dragging, bloated, a li... Mon, 7 Sep 2015 20:49:34 EST Life is funny Our bodies are so fascinating/frustrating. Since late February I've been working out in the pool most days twice a day sometimes up to three hours. I have been eating within my range most days too although I had fallen back into the habit of eating processed foods more than I should. It was working and I was losing weight fairly steadily. I really try to follow an 80/20 rule where 80% of my diet comes from whole foods. Recently (like a month ago maybe?) I came to a complete standstill in weig... Wed, 5 Aug 2015 11:25:08 EST Took a week off I took a week off from exercise but not intentionally. It has just been crazy busy and working in a pool visit just wasn't in the cards. Two days of more than ten hours in the car picking up and dropping off my nephew, family reunion, spa day with my best friend, shopping for interview clothes, interview (YAY) and housework squeezed in when I had time. I don't even work right now and I have been nuts! I went back to the gym on Thursday and did a great cardio workout although I only did an ho... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 13:01:03 EST Ahh The Universe in her infinite wisdom has chosen to throw me a lifeline. I am back to 50 pounds lost as of today. I really need this motivation. Sat, 25 Jul 2015 10:30:35 EST Rough couple of weeks It has been a rough couple of weeks physically and emotionally. I'm not as into my work out plan as I was either which is scaring me a lot. I've tried but I can't really nailed down why. I've been eating OK not great and there have been a couple of just bad days. Part of it is the scale not moving in the right direction or actually not moving at all, I do know that. The other day after a particularly bad day of eating I noticed significant swelling in my legs and feet. That was quite an e... Wed, 22 Jul 2015 10:30:42 EST Beautiful Day The very best news is that my turned ankle seemed okay this morning. No pain when I walk and no swelling. I think the ice and rest did the trick. <BR> <BR> Heading to moms for the day. Sun, 28 Jun 2015 12:37:44 EST Today's workout <img src=""> This morning I skipped my Aqua Zumba class because it was storming so I figured it would be canceled or interrupted. I planned to have a rest day today because of the rain but at noon the sun was out so I decided to take a chance. I am so glad that I did!! I did nearly two hours of workout in the pool today and I feel amazing. Now I have to get some shopping done and grab a salad somewhere. Fri, 26 Jun 2015 16:24:54 EST Weekly weigh in Good week this week. I lost four pounds so that's a total loss of forty two pounds. I'm still feeling the sting from my weight gain plus changing scales. I changed my photo from the fifty pounds lost because I don't know if that was accurate. I'm hoping in a month or so to put that back again. <BR> <BR> I've been working out every day and feeling pretty good about it. I love the classes I'm taking, especially the Aqua Zumba. I really hope they can find a teacher for next session because th... Fri, 26 Jun 2015 12:39:00 EST Weigh in I had to buy another scale. This is my third one since December and that is frustrating as heck! The first one just went crazy and the second one went out of balance when one of the little feet caved in so it won't weigh properly. This third one better last! So I think that the last measurement I did was off so I revised it and then added one for today. Basically it looks like I gained back a bunch of weight but I think it's just the corrected weight from the defective old scale and of cours... Fri, 19 Jun 2015 11:58:34 EST Tired tired tired My new workout schedule is fairly intense. It's also very hot here and I am just not hungry. That in itself isn't a surprise because I am never really hungry per se. I am the opposite of hungry actually, I do not want to eat at all. By last night I realized that with three hours or more of cardio both days plus normal running around etc I had consumed less than 1200 calories the last two days. On top of that I am having some stomach issues which is probably diet related but may have been a st... Wed, 10 Jun 2015 10:52:40 EST Weight fluctuation Since Friday morning I have lost four of the mysterious ten pounds I gained. Hopefully my body is adjusting properly and the rest will drop off by my "official" Friday weigh in. I'm feeling a little less frustrated today. I have an exercise class at 8:00 this morning and another at 7:00 tonight. Hopefully with two work out sessions a day weekly and one on Saturdays I can stay on track. Tue, 2 Jun 2015 08:25:01 EST Pebbles I'm a big girl there's no getting around it and there's no hiding it. I can wear nice clothes that fit properly, I can make my hair nice, I can wear make up etc. When some people look at me however, they can only see that I'm a big girl. When you're heavy, fat, obese, or whatever you want to call it, certain things are inevitable. Some people are going to make assumptions about you that are not true. They're going to assume that you're lazy, that you're not that bright, that you don't take... Mon, 1 Jun 2015 23:41:06 EST Weekly weigh in According to the scale I have gained ten pounds this week. That seems kind of impossible so I'm going to log it and acknowledge it but then I'm going to forget it and wait for it to level itself out. My theory is that it is due in part to inflammation from all the muscles I used for the first time in a long time this week. Probably also my significant increase in fiber is a contributor. I wasn't doing great with my fiber intake so I stepped it up with some beans and other stuff this week. I... Fri, 29 May 2015 09:19:41 EST Yesterday was a very good day <img src=""> I'm so proud of myself for my workout and food day yesterday. I took my first hike in a long time - years. Just to give some perspective. In December I couldn't walk even a quarter mile without resting my back because of an injury. When a person is as heavy and awkward as I am, walking into the woods by yourself with no idea where you'll end up is simply unheard of. I never go anywhere unless I know ho... Thu, 28 May 2015 15:15:04 EST Next session water classes I am really stepping up my game starting next week. I'm kind of excited about it! All the classes are an hour. Monday night - Deep Water Aerobics Tuesday morning - Aquasize Tuesday night - Aqua Zumba Wednesday morning - Aqua Zumba Wednesday night - Deep Water Aerobics Thursday morning - Aquasize Friday morning - Aqua Zumba I may drop the Tuesday Aqua Zumba if back to back classes prove too much. On my one class days I will do an extra hour of cardio (water jogging, swimming and tre... Tue, 26 May 2015 19:36:29 EST Eventful weekend First of all my surprise trip to Chicago didn't happen. I have a friend there who has been having a rough go of it lately so I was planning to head up there Thursday night to surprise her, fix her a week's worth of portable lunches and dinners and just try to make her life a bit easier for a minute. What I didn't count on was a last minute birthday celebration for my nephew. So I stayed in town and will try to get out another weekend. <BR> <BR> The party never happened after all that because... Tue, 26 May 2015 11:25:24 EST Weekly weigh in (a day early) I'm headed out tonight on a road trip so I did my weekly weigh in a day early. Down three more pounds for a total of 55 since 12/18. Let's just hope I can stick to healthy eating while out of town! Thu, 21 May 2015 12:06:03 EST Weekly weigh in Not sure why but I missed last Friday's weigh in. I lost a pound last week and another pound this week for a total of 52 pounds down. For this week my focus will have to be reducing my caloric intake in order to continue to lose weight weekly as my cardio program has been temporarily amended due to possible injury. <BR> <BR> I have had some occasional pain in my outer ankles the last few weeks. It comes and goes sometimes for a few hours or sometimes for a whole day. It isn't really impeding... Sat, 16 May 2015 13:06:47 EST I already know To the boys who passed me on my way to my first class of the day today. I get it. I'm fat. Because of my weight I am an easy target - to impress your friends with your ability to cough the words "fat" or "pig" or my personal favorite "cow" as you amble past in your basketball shorts and your black socks. Yes I heard you loud and clear but I think you knew that and it added to your joy somehow to know that "holy $$$$ she's fat" was said just loudly enough to carry across the lot as I entered t... Tue, 5 May 2015 01:06:12 EST NOT my weigh in day BUT I couldn't resist. I was soooo close to fifty pounds lost and I have been working so hard and I was hoping ... Done! I have officially lost fifty pounds. I'm so proud of me. I'm going to just celebrate this today. Now I have to get ready for water aerobics class. Today is a good day. Mon, 4 May 2015 10:11:33 EST Today This morning I did a dumb thing. I pulled out two Trader Joes pretzel rolls and ate them...both of them. My reasoning was that they were going to go bad if I didn't eat them so I ate them. I should have thrown them away. Then I justified it by telling myself that I could eat high protein and good fats the rest of the day and be fine. But my friend called and asked me to go shopping with her. I needed a wallet and new tennis shoes. I got a wallet and new tennis shoes but first we stopped at ... Sun, 3 May 2015 19:15:00 EST Friday weigh in My experiment is over. A week ago Wednesday I started a fast. After 72 hours I began eating clean again. I had lost five pounds during the fast when I weighed myself last Friday. I have stayed right at the lower end of my calories while working out every day this week. In addition to the five pounds I dropped with the fast I lost three more for a total of forty eight pounds lost in nineteen weeks which equates to 2.5+ pounds a week. Today is going to have to be a rest day. I really push... Fri, 1 May 2015 09:01:13 EST Daily weigh in i may have spoken too soon, not sure. I bounced back and gained a pound but I'm not upset because I expected some weight gain after fasting. This was the whole point of doing a week of daily weigh ins. I woke up a little late today but I slept pretty well. I was exhausted last night after two and a half hours of water training yesterday. I'm going to try walking on pavement again today. I'm feeling a bit stiff from my workouts yesterday and I want to stay loose and keep the muscles workin... Thu, 30 Apr 2015 11:04:01 EST Daily weight check in I am another pound down today. Although I feel confident that the weight I lost on my fast last week will not come back with eating clean I'm going to stick to my plan of one week of daily weigh ins. So far so good. Total weight lost 46 pounds. I wanted to hit my first goal of 50 pounds lost by 7/1. It looks like I may hit it a little earlier. Now I need to figure out what my celebration will be. I have to admit I was skeptical. I've been trying and re-trying to repeat my success from ten... Tue, 28 Apr 2015 11:30:31 EST Weight check in Still five pounds down. Maybe I won't bounce back. Two classes today so three hours of cardio and strength training broken up ninety minutes this morning and ninety tonight. Time for some tuna for lunch. Mon, 27 Apr 2015 14:18:28 EST Weight tracking My "official" weigh in is Friday but I'm going to track my weight daily for a week to see how my body adapts to my fast. After one full day of healthy eating I have lost five pounds. I haven't had any bounce back weight gain yet. Today I have to get in a work out and some walking but first I have to cook up my meatballs. I was going to make a meatloaf but meatballs are easier to portion control. The oven is heating now. Time to fix a good breakfast and get my day moving. Sun, 26 Apr 2015 08:14:50 EST Fast over I made it through my fast. I'm going to eat regularly today and see how things go this week. The last fast was easier because I was sedentary. This one I worked out four times and took two walks. Today I'm going to head back the the Y after a rest day yesterday and get back on the journey. I fixed myself a perfect breakfast of eggs, bacon, whole grain English muffin and fresh strawberries. I'm finishing off the strawberries now with a big cup of black coffee and then I will head to the gym... Sat, 25 Apr 2015 11:39:35 EST This seems to fit as an explanation for my plateau<BR>ost=why_the_scale_goes_up_when_you_sta<BR>rt_a_new_workout_plan&pointsearned=TRUE Sat, 25 Apr 2015 11:27:19 EST Weekly weigh in i am down three pounds but in on a 72 hour fast so it's probably not going to stick. I should have dropped more weight than this over the last few weeks. This plateau is really starting to get me down. It's not water because I take a water pill, I have been eating at or just above the calories my dietician has given me, I increased my exercise threefold over the last two weeks, I'm eating the right ratios of fat/protein/carbs on most days. I'm not sure what else I can do. My fast ends tonig... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 11:50:23 EST Today. Non scale victory HUGE Victory!! I walked a mile today. A mile! In twenty minutes. Me. The woman who had to sit and rest before walking back to her desk after taking something to the receptionist. The woman whose back injury was so bad that standing or walking for more than eight minutes was excruciatingly painful. I walked a mile. Outside on the pavement while listening to classical music at my own pace and I managed to do it in twenty minutes. I sat in my car and cried. Guess what? I'm doing it again.... Sat, 18 Apr 2015 19:08:24 EST Friday weigh in Well after three weeks I think it's safe to assume that I have hit my first plateau. I had hoped with the significant amount of weight I had to lose and the increased activity level I could push this back for a while. I haven't eaten 100% clean but I have been staying within my calories. I thought last week it might have been because I was sick but I've been feeling good this last week. I'm not going to stress about it too much though because I'm still doing okay. Forty pounds lost in sev... Fri, 17 Apr 2015 10:22:04 EST