MARMIZC's SparkPeople Blog MARMIZC's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Self-Esteem So I have knocked 22 lbs off since Halloween thanks to my Fit Bit zip.That's great, but it is only a kernel of grain next to what has to get off. I figured I would try on working on my self esteem but getting a hair trim and color my roots. I feel more presentable:hopefully I will be feeling more worthwhile and worthy to work on me, for a change! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Not enough self esteem to show the front of my face yet, but it... Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:56:08 EST Bigger than ever Four years down the road I am bigger than ever, after taking care of my Mom who passed away in January 2012 from Dementia. <BR> Jim decided our house had to go up for sale so we could move forward to me retiring, and we lived in my late Mom's house for a year and a half. <BR> It hasn't been easy: thanks to my buddy Julie we decided to come back on and make each other accountable so it has been a rough night so far.Looking and taking off pictures of how thin I got-that really hurt... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 22:16:13 EST Knee-ding some relief Was in so much pain on the bus this morning, I counted down on the bus that there are roughly 48 days left until my surgery. I am going today for the next step-the first having gotten the dental clearance, but today is to go get an ultrasound of my legs... Mon, 24 Jan 2011 08:42:21 EST Post snow Thursday Stress on job front is large, but am holding my own, thanks to carefully measured bags for cereal. Knees are quiet thanks to pain-killers...just keeping on keeping on! Thu, 13 Jan 2011 09:29:26 EST The beat goes on... Measuring and counting and trying to find substitutions....feels good to be going back to what I knew that worked. Unfortunately also feel as though I am getting sick, so probably will be cutting OJ with water..... Tue, 11 Jan 2011 13:21:33 EST Knee Surgery... is scheduled for Mar 10,2011...taking care of Mom still, and am falling apart. Need to be back here and working on accountability so both new knees will work. Mon, 10 Jan 2011 09:23:00 EST I hope, I hope , I hope.... For those of you who have followed the on-going saga of my crappy knees, I am trying to get a surgeon's appointment for 6/30/2010 for.....MY SHOULDER. <BR> <BR> Yes, my knees still royally suck but, when we first got the new pup, she got me unprepared one time and when she yanked, it felt as though my right arm was being pulled out of the socket. No big deal, tender shoulder, hobbling along with life. We, 4 months of hobbling later,the shoulder, when I roll over in my sleep is so painful it ... Wed, 23 Jun 2010 09:13:34 EST Tired......... Still watching Mom every other night and sleeping on the sofa has not been an asset.The heat has come on too fast and all of it just is awfully draining. Now I had an MRI on a shoulder and may have to have arthroscopic surg due to 2 foreign bodies in there.........**sigh** Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:32:31 EST Sunday.... Appreciate your Dad if he is still around...Sunday is 12 Father's Day since my Dad is gone. I miss him every day. Fri, 18 Jun 2010 08:03:13 EST it is allll-ivvveee.... Yeah Folks... <BR> I am still around. <BR> Things are status quo, but I had a quick moment to pop on and let anyone who cares know I am still here. <BR> <BR> Thanks for caring. Mon, 14 Jun 2010 13:10:30 EST Some things... ...aren't worth repeating, but thanks to those who do check in with me. I don't get on here as often as I like( or should) but I do think of you all often, and appreciate your support. Tue, 28 Jul 2009 08:37:28 EST mental and other states... I probably would have let over the illness but a caregiver is trying to impoly she was shorted $100 in her pay.No way. She tried this trick before 3,4 5 times...NOW she say she's short $100 pay.My brother and I cross check her envelope it four or five timed to validate it.Will be waiting to talk to my attorney to see what he advised to do, since she is on "un-employment' and getting paid under the table..Personally, I think I am going to have to thank her for her services which are no longer ... Mon, 13 Jul 2009 07:47:55 EST Doesn't work.. Am currently in the throes of a stomach bug. A care-giver of Mom brought it into the house, and gave it to my brother,and then Mom , and now me...not a good calorie counting method:( Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:15:57 EST Ladies? If you are in any way, shape or form, a mom or caregiver to anyone, be it human or animal.... <BR> <BR> HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! ENJOY THE DAY!!! <BR> <BR> <em>214</em> Fri, 8 May 2009 15:14:25 EST Honey... Tomorrow is Jim's 55th birthday. <BR> <BR> Am taking the day off in preparation of cleaning up and getting ready for a small party at the house. <BR> <BR> I'm blessed to have him for my husband. <BR> <BR> <em>285</em> Tue, 5 May 2009 12:31:29 EST Ouch.. People are really something. They open their mouth, and promptly insert foot, and never mind WHAT they say about you, you don't get an apology and it seems to bother them...NOT. <BR> <BR> Maybe I am a different generation? I don't even pretend to comprehend it. Suffice it to say that I am glad I have no children to bring into an environment with such selfish stinking people. <BR> <BR> **climbing off soapbox** Tue, 5 May 2009 12:29:32 EST Bad, so bad... Two funerals over this past weekend and a co-worker informs me this morning her nephew is in critical condition after being struck while in a car by another car... <BR> <BR> Am working overtime to send some good karma out... Mon, 20 Apr 2009 09:20:41 EST Thanks.. those who offered comments regarding child-proof tops from the pharmacy. <BR> <BR> I just wanted you to know I DO put meds in the containers that have the easy cap on them: my beef was for all the money the pharmacy charges for medicine, you would think you'd get what you'd ask for-I mean, come on-how difficult is that?In these days where the economy is really suffering and a local chain is scheduled to close a boatload of stores down, maybe if you worked to give customers WHAT they as... Mon, 6 Apr 2009 08:21:38 EST You know what??? In these days of HEPA act and the pharmacy knowing all your business, I went today to my local pharmacy and picked up my major Motrin. <BR> <BR> Motrin. <BR> <BR> For a person who is arthritic. <BR> <BR> WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE? <BR> <BR> WHAT PART OF I WANT NO CHILD-PROOF CAP DON't YOU UNDERSTAND? <BR> <BR> I mean really...there have been enough medications I have received that are arthritis-treatment oriented.Yet, when I picked up today's Motrin, uh, hello? Didn't I have them emblazon... Fri, 3 Apr 2009 14:57:30 EST There isn't enough coffee... ...on the mornings after I have spent the night at my Mom's. I make it a point to sleep within eye and earshot of her, which bascially means I am either on a sofa or a recliner. Unfortunately, in addition to watching her, I am also "of the age" ( ROFLMAO) that one cup of coffee in the morning is my limit. My system just doesn't handle caffene that well anymore...Maybe that is why I am mastering the look of 10 pounds of coffee under each eye....... <BR> Thu, 2 Apr 2009 13:03:33 EST Still Standing..(relatively speaking) Have not made an entry in a little over a month. <BR> <BR> Had a best friend fall and break her kneecap( yup,that's you Juls). <BR> Had another buddy slip on ice and crack a vertebrae.... <BR> Thought Mom was having a stroke, but, Thank God, she wasn't. <BR> Lower back issues with a physical therapy chase made knees flare up.... <BR> <BR> But I am Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:52:35 EST Out of touch Haven't been blogging much lately.Turns out that above the two crappy knees are two bulging lower lumbar discs.So fast forward now into the world of pain management with a physical therapy chaser. I am just hoping that there is some relief at the end of this rainbow. <BR> <BR> I also have had a good friend(Brinley) who lost her Mom and a good buddy(Bruce) who is really sick and in intensive care, and of course Mom is hanging in....**coming up for air** <BR> <BR> I'll be popping in when I ca... Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:34:03 EST Dr Kildare...... Sinus Surgery to remove a polyp tomorrow 12:45 EST...**fingers crossed***...hope I don't hear "Oops....." Mon, 2 Feb 2009 14:09:51 EST Who's on First? Using an Ear nose and throat doctor who is in "the network" how come it's so difficult for him to get bloodwork results? Maybe I need to get a carrier pigeon to help get him up to Mon, 26 Jan 2009 08:53:03 EST Heat Wave It's a balmy 37 degrees outside... <BR> <BR> Almost enough to make you want to shed the long johns...oops...did I mention it'll be 17 tomorrow??? <BR> <BR> Maybe I am just not gonna hang the long johns up yet.... Fri, 23 Jan 2009 11:35:28 EST Why bother? A coworker here who does the minimal amount of work had a medical appointment this morning. When he got here, the day is more than 1/2 over...uh, why bother to show up? I mean, have a zillion leave days saved up.....we aren't making you a parade for showing Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:48:09 EST what DOESN'T hurt? So I think my knee issues are pretty well documented. I also am due to have sinus surgery at the beginning of next month and can have limited meds. <BR> <BR> THANK GOD I SWITCHED ORTHO's.... <BR> <BR> My new Ortho office called me back( what a pleasant surprise that was) and found a comparable med that I CAN use pre-surgery with no side effects! <BR> <BR> YEAH!!! Here's to doctors who care........ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:12:36 EST Hack-hack If it's mid-January, and I am due to have sinus surgery on February 3rd, how many tissues will I use up sounding like a train trying to clear up this head? <BR> <BR> Doesn't that sound like a bad word problem from 4th grade math? <BR> <BR> LOL Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:30:35 EST **shaking my head** I work with some younger people. 49, I am actually terming them"younger people" is this girl who is a mother of 2 and 25 years old. She doesn't shut up...and she is going on and on with a ton of personal's times like this that I really feel, and at the same time, appreciate my age... Fri, 9 Jan 2009 14:23:31 EST What a long night.... You know the classic virus that goes around? <BR> <BR> It found me around 7 last if I had nothing better to do! <BR> <BR> There is a God, least I didn't have Mom last night and was at home. <BR> <BR> <BR> ..."And the hits just keep on rollin'...." Tue, 6 Jan 2009 13:20:51 EST It's about time.... An appointment with a new general internist in scheduled for this Wednesday. "Dissatisfied shopper" that I am, my current MD announced that she is spreading herself around, and if I couldn't get an appointment with her( I meaning her downtown Phila. patients), that perhaps I should take an appointment with any of her associates in the practice...uh, hello? YOU were my MD, not them...AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE? <BR> <BR> The end result is a new Internist at a neighboring teaching hospital wi... Mon, 5 Jan 2009 10:24:51 EST And? Once again, anticipating a year with tentative surgeries( possible knee and definate sinus), I am working today. As my good buddy says, we are thankful we have jobs. As far as vacations go, well, maybe someday...... Fri, 2 Jan 2009 10:04:09 EST Happy to see it end.. Had a lot of action in 2008. <BR> <BR> My Mom moving into the state of dementia. <BR> Death of close friends and a "brother". <BR> Stress of being a care-giver and "manager" of hired assistance. <BR> Knees that "wouldn't" move. <BR> <BR> I thank God every morning for my friends who have seen me through these tough times: here's hoping 2009 brings better ones. Wed, 31 Dec 2008 04:56:52 EST Do I really "Knee"-d this? It hasn't really been a month since the shots, and what is frustrating is that I have good days with my knees and I have lousy days. Are the shots supposed to keep me walking? Hey, I'd be happy just to have them keep me up on my feet! Tue, 30 Dec 2008 11:26:03 EST What holiday?.... So far in December... <BR> <BR> Two deaths. <BR> One funeral( one this Saturday) <BR> Two aching knees <BR> Care of an 86 year old mother. <BR> A husband who..well...don't get me started with that one... <BR> <BR> Tra-la-la-la- a.....pbbbft! <BR> <BR> Here's hoping 2009 is a little bit better. Mon, 29 Dec 2008 12:28:34 EST Grey December Jim has a good friend named Stan. They go all they way back to high school and both met through jobs they held afterschool as busboys. <BR> <BR> Each went their own way and, I'll politely say, experienced life. <BR> <BR> Stan, unfortunately, has been in a nursing home for the past 8 years, due to deterioating physical health and for the past 3 years has been completely bed-ridden. <BR> <BR> He was rushed to the hospital from the Nursing Home right before Thanksgiving and released 4 or 5 da... Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:15:04 EST Earplugs, anyone? I work in customer/citizen service with "loud" people. <BR> <BR> Anyone else see the irony here? On phone with taxpayers with shouting people in the background???? <BR> <BR> **shaking my head*** <BR> <BR> Go figure. <BR> <BR> Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:02:09 EST Surreal( to say the least!!!) I know there's stuff(synvisc) in my knees. <BR> I can feel it.........Now I have to relearn HOW to walk up and down steps, and, in fact, just walk in general. You feel like Neil Armstrong in that you don't know what the next step is going to bring. <BR> <BR> Shot #2 in 2 days....stay tuned! <BR> <BR> BTW, if you feel Hell freeze over, you're right! I have actually been kneeling in Church again..first time since March! <BR> Mon, 8 Dec 2008 11:43:56 EST That's one small step..... for Synvisc.... <BR> <BR> It's in. <BR> It's in BOTH knees. <BR> I didn't**knock wood** have to have fluid drawn off first.**wiping sweat off brow** <BR> <BR> It feels really weird. <BR> <BR> People ask me if my knees feel better. I's been so long( or so it seems)..what do good knees feel like? <BR> <BR> It is really strange, student of behavior modification that I am( HAH!) that now I have to learn, as it were, to walk and take steps the old, RIGHT way, not adapted for aching ... Fri, 5 Dec 2008 10:36:41 EST S Day Today is Synvisc day- 4:30PM EST. <BR> <BR> I am cringing thinking about the amount of fluid that they'll have to draw off my knees, as this morning BOTH were so swollen I could hardly bend to that, hey, what's a horse needle? LOL <BR> <BR> If you hear screams at 5PM, you'll know they are coming from Pennsylvania Hospital. <BR> <BR> Hopefully, prayerfully,it'll work..... <BR> <BR> **fingers crossed** Wed, 3 Dec 2008 12:27:31 EST The love,er,knee boat... ..has come into port, finally. I am due to have a procedure in February for a different section of the body and once scheduled, they gave me the spiel about no aspirin or Motrin 10 days before. This gave me a little fuel to call the Ortho office, and as result, I am scheduled for Synvisc shots 12/3,10 and 17. I wince at the thought of the horse needles and know it's not going to be pleasant-in fact far from it. If you hear the gnashing of teeth it'll be me in the Ortho's office.One thing thou... Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:25:41 EST When you work with idiots..... So I was out for medical reasons this past week for a day or 2. So were 2 of my colleagues. <BR> Evidently, while we were out, everyone here seemed to have taken their lunch at the same time so there was an issue with covering the telephones in the unit. <BR> <BR> Bottom line is, now, we were given a sheet of paper to commit to a certain half hour when we would be in our seats( how freaking' kindergarten) for phone coverage. I mean, I work with people, well, one of them is 21 but the rest ar... Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:48:23 EST 15 years... ....ago today, I was diagnosed with my first cancer at age 33. Some people would have had me looking up cemeteries back then, but I beat that one,after six weeks of daily radiation and chemo, along with a radiation implant closing with a total hysterectomy, and later different ones at age 35, and one at 39. I never am at the point of spitting in God's eye, and I can honestly say that cancer is always in the back of my mind and sometimes in <BR> <BR> I am glad to have been around... Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:01:21 EST To my Phillies....... Ever since I went with Dad to see my first game in 1971 at the Vet, I have been a believer. <BR> <BR> Through Dave Cash, Denny Doyle, Jim Lomborg, Steve Carlton, Tug McGraw,Randy Wolfe,...and all the way through Jamie Moyer,Brad Lidge,Ryan Howard,Chris Coste, Chase Utley, and the rest....I have been with you from the start. <BR> <BR> Thanks, guys! <BR> Good job! <BR> You make us proud! <BR> <BR> Love, <BR> Mar, Jimmy and Zush <BR> <BR> Photo courtesy of Philadelphia Inquirer Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:13:18 EST My Fightin' Phillies... ...are one step away from a World Series win....**fingers crossed** <BR> <BR> <BR> Let's Go Phillies! Whoo-hoo! Mon, 27 Oct 2008 10:48:46 EST Off to the world series........ The Fightin' Phils whooped the LA Dodgers and Manny..... <BR> <BR> GO PHILLIES!!!!! Proud of You all! <BR> <BR> <em>300</em> Thu, 16 Oct 2008 10:44:15 EST HOME FRONT ..PART DEUX So, I went to the ear, nose and throat man today and have been told my "smokers' hack is due to...reflux!!!! We are going to try a stint with nexium, cough suppressants during the day and night and see if the hacks keels over.... <BR> <BR> I am feeling screwed, as I have been benevolently covering weekends and need some relief. My new weekend aid, well, she wasn't much of an aid..let's just leave it at that. <BR> <BR> People are upset that I am not spending enough time with them. How can I ... Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:39:24 EST ..and on the local front.. 1. Mom is still home and ok with a MD visit this Monday. <BR> 2.Folks are still watching her. <BR> 3. The state is making me nuts with appeal paperwork for her.(Hold a good thought for us next week) <BR> 4. My butt is still dragging and I'd kill for 8 straight hours of sleep. <BR> 5.I am still hacking: the ear, nose and throat man can't see me until 10/15, and of course at the most unconvenient hour of 12:15PM..... <BR> 6.Bob talked to me this morning about switching Mom nights on 10/23 and 2... Thu, 9 Oct 2008 10:19:22 EST Rooting for the home team... My Philadelphia Phillies start their quest for the World Series tonite: the play the Los Angeles Dodgers for the National League Championship Series in Philadelphia. Gametime is 8:22pm and mercifully I will be able to view it at home.(Take note-we have been invited to a neighbor "viewing/birthday" party tonite~we'll see what happens)**fingers crossed for my fighting Phils and especially Jamie Moyer, their class act pitcher** <BR> <BR> GO PHILS! BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF MANNY AND THE DODGERS! <em... Thu, 9 Oct 2008 10:13:11 EST the hits just keep on comin'........ Now my right knee is acting up and I am so congested from ragweed. My cough sounds like I am a ten pack a day <BR> <BR> "I'd walk a mile for a camel....NOT!" Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:14:24 EST