MANLEYSANDY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=MANLEYSANDY MANLEYSANDY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Winning....Against the Candy Jar http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5736808 On June 10, 2014 I posted a blog title "Baby Carrots vs Oreos" and in it I stated that the candy jar at work is now off limits. I am here to report that 30 days later I stayed out of the candy jar, except for yesterday. Here is why, I live in Arizona, it is hot and when you have supplies delivered in the summer, i.e. candy, in transit, it melts. So, someone in my office who approves the invoices for the said candy, made a comment about how it was melted. I said I was trying something new ... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 14:48:51 EST Me vs the Scale http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726372 I have battled with my weight from as early as I can remember and have had the same battle with the scale. I went years without weighing myself because I just couldn't face it. That has not changed even when I reached my goal back in 2010, as well as my many other attempts at weight loss prior to joining Spark. As soon as I lost the weight, I stopped stepping on the scale. I thought I could manage my weight without it, I have tried to tell my self many, many times, that the number does n... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 12:26:06 EST It is time to Dig Deep http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724167 Last week I saw my therapist. It was a tough session but one I needed to have because we discussed some things that were hard for me to hear. One of the things was how she felt like I did not fully commit to the things I am working on. She used a great analogy of how I dip by foot in the water and then run away because it was too cold. I try, I just don't "fully commit". <BR> <BR> No where else could this apply more then to my weight loss journey. I started here on Spark in March... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 13:34:38 EST Baby Carrots vs Oreos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715201 I read an interview with Rosie O’Donnell several years ago where she said (and I am paraphrasing) “Of course I should eat the baby carrots, but I want the Oreos.” She went on to say something like, if it were that easy, then the obesity problem would be solved. I suspect it is not that easy for most of us. I mean I buy baby carrots all the time, but after about the first handful, I am sick of them, and the candy jar on my desk becomes the go to. <BR> <BR> I read it hear all the time ... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 19:10:17 EST In the Last 30 Days.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712088 I have done: <BR> <BR> 830 Squats <BR> <em>216</em> <BR> 900 - Bicep Curls <BR> <em>362</em> <BR> 900 - Tricep sets <BR> <em>362</em> <BR> 30 minutes of planks <BR> <em>320</em> <BR> <BR> and walked 36 miles.... <em>311</em> <BR> <BR> All of the above was done in the last 30 days, one day at a time!! Fri, 6 Jun 2014 12:31:05 EST A Tale from Emotional Eating Mountain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5711352 This morning when I was getting ready I started to think about writing this blog because of how my day went yesterday. What popped into my head was this question, “how often is what you are feeling really hunger?” I answered myself almost immediately: “almost never”. So I thought I would share a tale from Sandy’s Mountain of Emotional Eating. <BR> <BR> Alas, what I was feeling yesterday was not a feeling unfamiliar to me; it was the feeling of a hole, a chasm so deep, it does not f... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 13:24:05 EST I'm a PF Chang's 1/2 Marathoner http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5647732 So the year before last I thought it would be awesome to do a half marathon, and I started to train but then for financial reasons, I just could not make it work. So, this year when the time rolled around to start training, I was determined to do it, and I made it happen! <BR> <BR> First, I am not a runner, so if you think you have to run to be a marathoner, you don't! It is a race, so you do have to finish in a set time period, for PF Chang's you have to finish in 4 hours. When I set ... Fri, 14 Mar 2014 12:30:34 EST What weighs more? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5541196 What do you think weighs more, brain weight or the physical weight? Sometimes I think it is both, but most of the time I think it is the brain weight. What I mean by brain weight is the weight that holds us back from shedding the physical weight. <BR> <BR> My brain is weighed down by many things and when I don't or can't cope with them, I turn to food. It brings me comfort, joy, warmth, guilt, shame and so on. As I write these words it occurs to me that none of them have anything to ... Thu, 14 Nov 2013 15:16:48 EST It is harder then you think http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5450156 I always say that losing the weight is the easy part but I am beginning to realize that it is a lot harder then that. Anyone will tell you that losing weight should be simple, the formula is pretty basic, eat less, move more. But if it were that simple, then everyone would be at the weight they want right? Then why does it seem so hard? <BR> <BR> I think for me, it is hard because I have a relationship with food that is not about nutrition, it is about emotion. Sure I eat because I ... Fri, 9 Aug 2013 17:23:52 EST Giving in to get somewhere.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5370639 Last week I did not make healthy eating and fitness a priority, or even a before or after thought. I ate candy from the candy jar on my desk like there was some sort of shortage. I only exercised once, and I am surprised I managed to do that. I ate when I was hungry, when I wasn’t hungry, I thought about food constantly, I wouldn’t even be done with lunch and I would be thinking about dinner. Healthy meal choices were not on the menu, in fact the worse it was for me, the more I wanted to... Tue, 28 May 2013 17:10:57 EST What do you do when you are stuck? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5336439 You try to get unstuck, right? I have been stuck behind the finish line of my life for many years now. I get almost there and then I get stuck. I decided that this year was the year I was going to get unstuck, I am going to attempt to cross the finish line on a few things in my life. <BR> <BR> The first thing, and the main reason we are all here, is to change our life styles. That can mean many things to many people, losing weight, eating healthier, running, racing, plain old exercising... Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:47:18 EST Tracking: the good vs. the bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5315850 Last week I posted two goals on my feed, one was to stay out of the candy dish at work and the second one was to track my food every day. I stayed out of the candy dish (by the way, the candy dish is on my desk and I am the one that keeps it full). Friday was the hardest day to stay out of it, it was slow at work and I was having an emotional day, but I made it through with no candy from the candy jar. Quite an accomplishment wouldn’t you say? Not really and here is why. I also tracked... Mon, 8 Apr 2013 12:35:52 EST Enjoying my surroundings... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5270958 I love to exercise outside and in AZ several months out of the year it is hard to do, meaning I don't exercise outside when it is over 100 degrees!! Yesterday I decided to enjoy the warm weather and try a new location I have driven by a million times! I have been struggling with exercise since December, so I thought a change of scenery would help me... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1030926260.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2... Sun, 3 Mar 2013 10:44:34 EST Father Joe's Villages Thanksgiving Day 5K http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5151854 I decided last year that I would make it a tradition each year to do a 5k on Thanksgiving morning. This year I was in San Diego. I knew my son would not get up early to do it with me so I asked my 9 year old nephew to do it with me! He kept me on my toes, as I don't run, I walk, but he had me running a bit to keep up with his SKIPPING! As I said to my nephew when it was over, we got our exercise in and we helped people less fortunate then we are all before 9:00am! <BR> <BR> <img src=... Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:22:17 EST It's the most (you file in the blank) time of the year... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5150896 I struggle with what I think is a form of SAD (season affect disorder). Only it is not because of the lack of light, or whatever, it is a lack of something, something I feel I am missing as the holiday's approach and the year comes to an end. Unfulfilled accomplishments, hopes, dreams, a longing for a sense of belonging. It always comes to ahead right around Thanksgiving and I usually can put it to rest after the new year. This year, I have tried to get ahead of it, and for the most part... Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:56:56 EST My skinny on skinny... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4989476 I was watching a commercial the other day and a particular woman in the commercial was that lovely kind of skinny and what popped in to my mind at that moment was, "it must be easier to be skinny" That got me to thinking about what that easy meant to me. Things like, if you are skinny your close fit better. If you are skinny you probably don't have numbers jumping around in your head which amount to you rattling off how many calories every effing thing you put in your mouth has. If your ar... Fri, 27 Jul 2012 15:14:44 EST Words We Live By http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4945052 As I surf around here each day to see what my fellow Sparkfriends are up to it got me to thinking about the words we live by, the words we use to define ourselves. A few words I see used quite a bit and have used to describe myself is "The Fat Girl". I hate those words. I hate that anyone uses them to describe themselves. Why can't we just be us? Why can't we define ourselves as just, Sandy (that's me). Why do we always focus on what we aren't? There are so many wonderful people in ... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 17:05:12 EST Want vs Need http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4933695 This is a common ideal in many things we do in life but I think in the battle for weight loss it is one of the most common occurrences of all . Do we want the ice cream or do we need the ice cream? Thinking logically, of course we don't need ice cream to sustain us nutritionally, we like it, we want it and in moderation, why not? But when we want ice cream to fill a need that is not nutritional we get into the real nitty gritty of this ideal. Grappling with this idea of want vs need thi... Tue, 19 Jun 2012 19:55:31 EST Something that is mine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4932125 This past weekend for me was well, boring. When I find myself in that position I find myself head first into a box of crackers. That got me to thinking once again about that role food plays in my life. I literally thought to myself on Saturday night, at least I have dinner to look forward to. Sounds pitful when I write it out but there are times when you just got nothing going. Specifically being that right now my budget is tight and it is hard to motivate when it is 110 degrees out. ... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 20:08:31 EST How my job affects my weight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4913762 What do you want to be when you grow up? That is a question that has been haunting me for years. I think people who know what they want to be and then achieve it, are truly amazing. I wanted to be many things of course, we go through so many stages as we grow, but what I thought I would be and where I am right now are vastly different. You see, I grew up in a home where success was expected but you were basically on your own to achieve it. As a child, you are totally dependent on yo... Tue, 5 Jun 2012 19:52:31 EST What role does food play? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4911994 I don’t know about you, but I start thinking about what I am going to eat for dinner before I have even finished my breakfast and today and most of the past weekend was no exception. You might be saying to yourself right now, that seems good, I am playing ahead, thinking things through. Nice try! Ideally, I would love for it to be about planning ahead, but I know that is not what I am really doing. <BR> <BR> That really got me to thinking about the role food plays in my life. When I e... Mon, 4 Jun 2012 18:11:01 EST The Social Situation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4839381 I consider myself a extroverted introvert. On the surface I seem pretty outgoing, I am not shy in front of strangers but if you put me in a room with my peers, I become a different person, self conscious, unsure of myself, a plain old nervous wreck. So heaven forbid a "social situation" arises, you know like a wedding, a girls night out or case and point a charity event, like the one I attended this past Saturday. In times past these kinds of things would just plane old send me over the... Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:24:55 EST That kind of hunger... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4810809 Have you had ever had the kind of hunger that food just does not feed? Yesterday I had that kind of hunger. For me it starts out like true hunger. I remember thinking to myself right before lunch that I was having what I deem "one of my hunger days", but realistically, there was no reason for it. I fed this hunger during the day, but I never felt full. I was not feeling well, which could have been a contributor, but usually when you don't feel well, you aren't hungry. <BR> <BR> On my... Thu, 29 Mar 2012 13:50:51 EST Stuffing is for Thanksgiving not for Emotions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4767438 In a therapy session long ago the counselor described my habits of drinking, emotional eating and spending as stuffing my emotions to fill the emotional void I had experienced through out my life. That really resonated with me. Then I ready a blog from one of my dear Spark friends regarding really "feeling" the emotion rather then "stuffing" it away with food. It was a real break through for me, because I realized that I don't feel many things, I stuff them away, I avoid them, I replace t... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 15:55:45 EST Managing Disappointment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4761740 I have been known to do a lot of things when something disappointing happens in my life, and those things usually lead to greater disappointment. So, I thought I would take a few minutes to do some managing, because I know I am facing disappointment! <BR> <BR> This weekend I had some fun with a boy, someone I have liked for a while but he was married and now he is not. He may not be Mr. Right for a few different reason, not insurmountable reasons, just reasons that should be taken into ac... Tue, 28 Feb 2012 14:26:47 EST Day 9 of 31 Days to Unbreakable Resolutions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4676450 I printed the January calender here from Spark entitled "31 Days to Unbreakable Resolutions" and I have been working each day. <BR> <BR> Day 9 suggests creating a motivational collage with pictures and encouraging words and posting it somewhere where you can see it daily. I am kind of working a collage (I have not finished it quite yet) and then some quotes which I thought I would share..... <BR> <BR> Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. <BR> Proceed positiv... Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:24:22 EST Tackling it... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4658097 That is the new header on my home page, tackling it. So I thought I would incorporate that phase into tackling my goals for 2012. <BR> <BR> I am not sure I wrote out any goals in 2011 but rather would continue work on the goals I put down on paper in a journal I started in January of 2010 that I hope some day to turn into a self help book. I thought it would be a good idea to put them down here as well, to see where I am and then put them into perspective for how I am going to tackle ... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 21:25:48 EST Fresh Perspective http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4528783 I have to admit that I am pretty sick of thinking about and logging food. For the most part, my diet is healthy. My problems with weight lie more in emotional eating and in turn portion control. To me one kind of goes with the other, you begin emotionally eating and then controlling portions goes right out the window. I know that controlling my emotional eating will be a battle I will fight every day, it is just part of my emotional make up. I win the battle more then I ever have before,... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:00:13 EST Wandering I go.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4519070 Last week I had an off week. I had the blues and just felt out of sorts. The interesting part is, I am not sure why. I do know what set things in motion though, an email. I am amazed by the power of words, especially, in the form of email. The email was from one of the people I support at my job. It was short and sweet, and it made me feel terrible. It was in the form of an accusation, and was completely unfounded. So, how can an email, that has no tone, and incorrectly infered tha... Tue, 4 Oct 2011 14:02:29 EST It is hard to just be.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4500468 Well, at least for me it is hard to just be happy with, who I am, the number on the scale, what I look like, what I do for a living. The list goes on.....and something tells me that I am not alone in these feelings. So, I asked myself the question again, "Why can't I just be"? ....Seems pretty easy doesn't it. But for some it is just not, me included. Now, I can honestly say I know why it is hard for me, and I could write pages about it. Knowing seems like it would be half the battle ... Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:05:19 EST Keep your Spark close and your Spark Friends closer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4305169 I was reading a blog the other day written by KITHKINCAID about an amazing date she had and it got me to thinking about what a HUGE part of my life Spark People is and how much I enjoy following the lives of my friends. <BR> <BR> For most of us this journey can be joyful, discouraging, hard, tearful, boring, tedious (and the list goes on and on) but at least we are in it together. I have my share of ups and downs, that will never change. I have had days where I don't log my food. I hav... Fri, 17 Jun 2011 14:40:01 EST Encouraging with Discouragement???? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4298471 I have read a few blogs from different people lately about others who are less then supportive on a site designed for support? That completely flabbergasts me???? <BR> <BR> Even though we post pictures and share very personal experiences, we are strangers. Our knowledge about each other is limited to a small segment of our lives on a whole. That is why I find it amazing that there would be those who find it necessary to be discouraging, or offer anything but support to a person, who fo... Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:03:18 EST The Cardigan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4257884 I am an insecure person by nurture. Yes, you did not read it incorrectly, by nurture, not nature. When we come out of the womb naked and thrown on the scale for the first time, we don't care about the numbers on the scale or worry about how we look. We don't know any better. It is only by nurture that we develop our sense of self and our insecurities. <BR> <BR> I can't really put my finger on when I became insecure (about everything). It is just a feeling I have always had. Ten ... Thu, 26 May 2011 13:54:26 EST Who's really in control? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4251754 I had a frustrating week last week and with frustrating situations comes the inevitability of how I am going to handle them. As my weekend began, how I handled them really got me thinking about who is really in control. <BR> <BR> When I got home from work on Friday I had the blahs and recognized that I probably should not have more than one glass of wine and watching "Say Yes to the Dress" was out of the question. You see I was in one of those moods where even though I was upset about... Mon, 23 May 2011 19:52:02 EST What does "limbo" got to do with it.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4241684 Last night I was feeling uneasy and what I eventually said to myself was a feeling of limbo. In the midst of this analyzing I was eating, and saying to myself, "you know you are going over your calories for today, but you know what, that is ok, because once you are out of this state of limbo, you can really put the pedal to the metal, and lose those six pounds you need to lose". Then I thought, what does limbo have to do with it? Does limbo mean that you don't have to watch what you ea... Wed, 18 May 2011 17:58:03 EST Openness, Humility and Accountability http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4226028 These were three words used by a speaker I listened to this past weekend. A friend of mine invited me to attend a breakfast that was organized by her church. The theme of the meeting was how can a woman be unshakable in times of struggle. The speaker used these words in conjunction with prayer and problems and I thought these words were pretty relevant to all the issues that are shared here on SparkPeople everyday. <BR> <BR> Openness is an interesting one. I am always amazed at how h... Wed, 11 May 2011 16:22:07 EST Apply pressure were needed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4149858 I don't know about everyone else, but I put a lot of pressure on myself. What I find interesting is where I chose to apply that pressure. <BR> <BR> Being a success in my household as a child was the way to my father's heart. He was a tough customer and offered little to no support other than the negative. That is how the pressure started, trying to earn the affection of someone who was unwilling to offer it. So, from childhood to adulthood I have been trying to apply pressure to succe... Thu, 7 Apr 2011 16:40:39 EST Where I spend my time... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4132280 I have this strange habit of seeing, hearing or feeling something in the present and then connecting it to a bad experience in my past. I once read in a book about self esteem that people with low self esteem do that because they do not value their worth and only focus on the negative to keep themselves in that negative place....Kind of makes sense doesn't it? <BR> <BR> That really got me thinking about where I spend my time. I once heard or read somewhere that most people spend time think... Thu, 31 Mar 2011 16:49:09 EST What I am famous for... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4124542 Pretending....I am really famous for pretending. <BR> <BR> Pretend reminds me of how I occupied my time as a child. This line from a John Mayer song..."I was born in the arms of imaginary friends"...sums up my life as a child...spending time with my imaginary friends. I always talked to my imaginary friends. Pretend was something I played for hours in my room. I spent a lot of time alone in my room. I occupied my time with my imaginary friends, or in the imaginary lives of others thr... Mon, 28 Mar 2011 16:33:09 EST My humble abode http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4117659 I moved to Arizona from San Diego 4 1/2 years ago. It has been a major adjustment for me but I am finally starting to call it home. When I moved to AZ I bought what I like to refer to as a "Chabby Chich" mobile type home. It is a perfect home owner situation for me. I have always rented in the past, so I thought I would start small to see if I could handle the responsibility. It has been a slow go, but I am finally beginning to embrace my home. With the exception of a few minor indoor p... Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:53:36 EST The ramblings of an internalizer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4091667 I have had a really bad bout of insomnia over the last week or so. At first I was like, everything is fine, why would I be having trouble sleeping? Then I said, really, are you being completely honest with yourself or are you trying to put a brave face on the outside, neglecting what is on the inside? You know, your usual internalizing. Here's an idea, Why don't you take a look at what is going on in your life right now and see if you can make any sense of it: <BR> <BR> 1. I am going t... Mon, 14 Mar 2011 20:00:16 EST Letting it in, letting it out and letting it go... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4076969 I was thinking about letting go the other day when I was exercising. I have never been a fan of exercise. I have tried to put every spin on it I can but at the end I just do not like it. When I am doing it however I feel a certain feeling, and I say to myself, why do I struggle so much with this? This feels good, this is the right thing to do. So why is it so hard to do. Why do I battle myself all the time over 30 simple minutes of exercise? In the same moment I said, well it is ... Tue, 8 Mar 2011 18:51:58 EST I am 1 today!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4019731 I have spent several years of my life (since I was about 16 years old) with an extremely dysfunctional relationship with the scale. Most of the time avoiding it, not because I was not sure that I was over weight but because I just could not face the reality of the situation. <BR> <BR> Well today I am proud to say that I have gotten on the scale every month for the past 12 months, no matter what I thought the outcome would be. I am no longer afraid of what the numbers say because they no ... Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:53:30 EST Nobody told me there would be days like this.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3987002 Strange days indeed... <BR> <BR> Yesterday was one of those days indeed. <BR> <BR> The company I work for is an industrial real estate company, and has been struggling since the downturn. Things seemed to have somewhat stabilized, or at least I thought, until last week when it was leaked that our company was merging with another company. Now, the powers that be can spin it anyway they want so I won't go into any great detail, but even though it is a good thing for the company's involve... Thu, 3 Feb 2011 12:11:41 EST The Great Leap Forward... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3925001 That leap to filling the void... <BR> <BR> From an anthropological stand point, the Great Leap Forward happened after Homo Sapien appeared. Culture over took evolution and we are where we are today; evolution has come to a halt and the human race is now struggling with genetic and selective pressures. I thought this was a good example to use when I think about where I am today, and how I am going to make the Great Leap Forward in my life. How am I going to conquer life's selective press... Fri, 14 Jan 2011 13:58:00 EST Acceptance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3889604 I have been pondering the word acceptance for the last few days and what it means to me in my journey towards a more fulfilling life. At the beginning of 2010, I sat down and said enough was enough, it was time to take control of my life and to get the most out of it that I could. Weight loss is one leg of this journey but it is an important one because within the realm of weight loss is my achieving a healthy body and self image. <BR> <BR> I have been toying back and forth about whether ... Tue, 4 Jan 2011 17:52:05 EST Shoulda, gonna, will.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3770977 I am not sure about you but when I am in mid crisis over something I have a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. I can't seem to interpret how my feelings effect how I am going to handle a situation. <BR> <BR> Case in point, I have been divorced for about 10 years. Although the divorce was the right decision, it has been a long painful 10 years. I had a dream on Friday night about my ex-husband, and it is a dream I have quite often. It takes many forms, but the gist of the dream... Mon, 8 Nov 2010 17:30:29 EST "You" aren't going to win.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3762035 I said these words to myself last Sunday evening as I was musing over my weekend; did I exercise, nope, did I stay in my calorie range, nope, did I open my books to study, nope. Did I need to do all those things YEP...why didn't I?... I know the answer..."YOU" was creeping into my head. Now, for those of you who have not met "YOU" allow me to introduce him, his name is "Steve"; he is the voice in my head, my inter-dialogue, my inner critic. I used to think he was my friend, my best fri... Thu, 4 Nov 2010 14:13:14 EST Happiness in the numbers... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3717317 We all get obsessed with the numbers right?!! The numbers on the scale, the number of calories eaten, the number of calories burned, the number on the clothing labels, the number of year lived! It is enough to drive you crazy! <BR> <BR> But, I am happy to blog that I had some happiness in the numbers this past week. <BR> <BR> First, I had to buy some new pants, none of my old ones fit anymore (tehe). I went to the store and grabbed the size I thought I would be, 14, seemed logical t... Fri, 15 Oct 2010 12:52:13 EST Reflection... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3551424 I thought I would summarize my last month or so of my journey, you know, just to get some of my thoughts out in the open...and to take a look at the outcome of the goals I posted on one of my blogs.. <BR> <BR> GOALS <BR> 1. Stay within in my calorie range until 9/15/10 no excuses, no backing down <BR> <BR> Ok...that this did not happen, and I am ok with that. Part of the reason I am here is to change my life style, and I need to live my life, and not always be down on myself about fo... Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:41:33 EST