MANLEYSANDY's SparkPeople Blog MANLEYSANDY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Sugar, sugar everywhere! So last week I started a 10 day no sugar challenge, on top of trying to go about 80-90% gluten free. I cannot believe how much sugar is in everything. I was in the chip aisle at Target and everything I picked up had sugar in it. Crazy! Trying to find sugar free and gluten free has been challenging but in a good way. I have gone 7 days so far with no sugar and almost 30 days with almost no gluten. I did have some sugar yesterday. with some sushi, yes, there was sugar in the salmon becaus... Mon, 29 Jun 2015 12:53:58 EST What I am working on week of 3/23/15-3/29/15 I am still trying to change those behaviors that are getting in my way of reaching my goals. Last week was not my best week but not my worst. I wrote in my journal this morning that I just have to work harder to deal with what is really going on emotionally, instead of trying to sooth my feelings. I will work harder to pick up my journal when I am feeling out of sorts so I work through it on paper instead of with food. In the end it is really about being honest with myself and realizing t... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 12:17:44 EST What I am working on week of 3/16/15-3/22/15 What am I working on, Changing Behavior! How is it going, slow but steady. <BR> <BR> I did better about writing in my journal last week. I did 6 out of 7 days. It was really helpful on Saturday when I was out doing an activity, there were adult beverages there, I planned to have one or two, when I was walking around, and I came upon a beverage station I said, you know what have some water, remember what you wrote in your journal this morning. It was a great feeling. <BR> <BR> I twiste... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 17:24:55 EST The small things go both ways I believe that small things and or changes add up to great things when it comes weight loss. However, small changes can work in the opposite way too. <BR> <BR> For me, the actual losing weight part was something I knew how to do. I mean, I have lost and gained the same 50 pounds more times then I can count, so that means I know how to lose it right? Sure, the actual challenge for me was I never kept it off. Why is that? Well, I did not change the things that kept me from gaining the we... Thu, 12 Mar 2015 12:30:58 EST What I am working on week of 3/9/15-3/15/15 Same thing as last week, changing behaviors. <BR> <BR> Last week I was running a low grade fever for a few days so I did not exercise. I got out on Saturday finally and walked a little over 3 miles but I got home later and the fever was back. Not sure what it is exactly, I have an idea, but I have no other symptoms, except some nausea. It is frustrating because it has been going on for about 3 weeks on and off. That being said, whenever I get sick, weird as it may sound, I feel hungrie... Tue, 10 Mar 2015 18:46:56 EST What I am working on week of 3/2/15-3/8/15 Changing behaviors..... <BR> <BR> Last week was kind of a weird week. I am getting ready for my monthly visitor and some months I can breeze through and some months I feel like the world is coming to an end. Last week was ok, but I was struggling a bit with fatigue and appetite. What I noticed one again was that when I do good in one or two areas, the other one suffers. Coping with stress, sadness, disappointment for me has always been with food, drinking and stuff, so when I don't hav... Mon, 2 Mar 2015 11:15:19 EST What I am working on week of 2/23/15-3/1/15 Changing Behaviors... <BR> <BR> I had some good days and bad days last week. It is funny how some days I listen to that voice in my head when it tells me to change my behavior and then some days I totally ignore it. Go figure. What I am starting to realize but guess I have known all along is, when I do good with my food, then I do bad with the other areas, spending and drinking. I had a great week last week where food was concerned. I logged my food everyday, most days I was even under... Mon, 23 Feb 2015 12:17:56 EST What I am working on week of 2/16/15-2/21/15 Changing Behaviors... <BR> <BR> That is what I am working on period! Each day I set out to change my behavior of emotional eating, drinking and spending. <BR> <BR> Goals from Last week: <BR> <BR> I accomplished my goal of logging food everyday last week. As much as I wish I did not have to do this, the bottom line is, it is what works for me. I am much more mindful of things when I know I am going to be holding myself accountable. I did not try to stay in any set calorie range but I ju... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 17:14:39 EST What I am working on week of 2/9/15-2/15/15 Changing behaviors... <BR> <BR> I had some good days and some bad days last week. What I learned was: <BR> <BR> 1. I am still struggling with motivation to exercise, which is a behavior I need to change. I should have tried harder, exercise is so good for the mind and soul, even just 10 minutes. I went to a Zumba class when I wanted to cancel so that was good but it is beautiful here in AZ right now and I should have taken advantage of it. It has to be a priority! <BR> <BR> 2. Since... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 11:08:50 EST What I am working on week of 2/2/15-2/8/15 This week I am working on the following: <BR> <BR> Changing behaviors. <BR> <BR> For me this means stop reaching for food for comfort/stress relief. <BR> <BR> At work I will be working on walking away/changing what I am doing during a stressful situation or when I am bored instead of reaching for food <BR> <BR> After work I need to push myself harder to exercise, pick up a book, clean or write in my journal instead of immediately turning to food. <BR> <BR> That is my goal for the we... Mon, 2 Feb 2015 13:05:16 EST Winning....Against the Candy Jar On June 10, 2014 I posted a blog title "Baby Carrots vs Oreos" and in it I stated that the candy jar at work is now off limits. I am here to report that 30 days later I stayed out of the candy jar, except for yesterday. Here is why, I live in Arizona, it is hot and when you have supplies delivered in the summer, i.e. candy, in transit, it melts. So, someone in my office who approves the invoices for the said candy, made a comment about how it was melted. I said I was trying something new ... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 14:48:51 EST Me vs the Scale I have battled with my weight from as early as I can remember and have had the same battle with the scale. I went years without weighing myself because I just couldn't face it. That has not changed even when I reached my goal back in 2010, as well as my many other attempts at weight loss prior to joining Spark. As soon as I lost the weight, I stopped stepping on the scale. I thought I could manage my weight without it, I have tried to tell my self many, many times, that the number does n... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 12:26:06 EST It is time to Dig Deep Last week I saw my therapist. It was a tough session but one I needed to have because we discussed some things that were hard for me to hear. One of the things was how she felt like I did not fully commit to the things I am working on. She used a great analogy of how I dip by foot in the water and then run away because it was too cold. I try, I just don't "fully commit". <BR> <BR> No where else could this apply more then to my weight loss journey. I started here on Spark in March... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 13:34:38 EST Baby Carrots vs Oreos I read an interview with Rosie O’Donnell several years ago where she said (and I am paraphrasing) “Of course I should eat the baby carrots, but I want the Oreos.” She went on to say something like, if it were that easy, then the obesity problem would be solved. I suspect it is not that easy for most of us. I mean I buy baby carrots all the time, but after about the first handful, I am sick of them, and the candy jar on my desk becomes the go to. <BR> <BR> I read it hear all the time ... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 19:10:17 EST In the Last 30 Days.... I have done: <BR> <BR> 830 Squats <BR> <em>216</em> <BR> 900 - Bicep Curls <BR> <em>362</em> <BR> 900 - Tricep sets <BR> <em>362</em> <BR> 30 minutes of planks <BR> <em>320</em> <BR> <BR> and walked 36 miles.... <em>311</em> <BR> <BR> All of the above was done in the last 30 days, one day at a time!! Fri, 6 Jun 2014 12:31:05 EST A Tale from Emotional Eating Mountain This morning when I was getting ready I started to think about writing this blog because of how my day went yesterday. What popped into my head was this question, “how often is what you are feeling really hunger?” I answered myself almost immediately: “almost never”. So I thought I would share a tale from Sandy’s Mountain of Emotional Eating. <BR> <BR> Alas, what I was feeling yesterday was not a feeling unfamiliar to me; it was the feeling of a hole, a chasm so deep, it does not f... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 13:24:05 EST I'm a PF Chang's 1/2 Marathoner So the year before last I thought it would be awesome to do a half marathon, and I started to train but then for financial reasons, I just could not make it work. So, this year when the time rolled around to start training, I was determined to do it, and I made it happen! <BR> <BR> First, I am not a runner, so if you think you have to run to be a marathoner, you don't! It is a race, so you do have to finish in a set time period, for PF Chang's you have to finish in 4 hours. When I set ... Fri, 14 Mar 2014 12:30:34 EST What weighs more? What do you think weighs more, brain weight or the physical weight? Sometimes I think it is both, but most of the time I think it is the brain weight. What I mean by brain weight is the weight that holds us back from shedding the physical weight. <BR> <BR> My brain is weighed down by many things and when I don't or can't cope with them, I turn to food. It brings me comfort, joy, warmth, guilt, shame and so on. As I write these words it occurs to me that none of them have anything to ... Thu, 14 Nov 2013 15:16:48 EST It is harder then you think I always say that losing the weight is the easy part but I am beginning to realize that it is a lot harder then that. Anyone will tell you that losing weight should be simple, the formula is pretty basic, eat less, move more. But if it were that simple, then everyone would be at the weight they want right? Then why does it seem so hard? <BR> <BR> I think for me, it is hard because I have a relationship with food that is not about nutrition, it is about emotion. Sure I eat because I ... Fri, 9 Aug 2013 17:23:52 EST Giving in to get somewhere.. Last week I did not make healthy eating and fitness a priority, or even a before or after thought. I ate candy from the candy jar on my desk like there was some sort of shortage. I only exercised once, and I am surprised I managed to do that. I ate when I was hungry, when I wasn’t hungry, I thought about food constantly, I wouldn’t even be done with lunch and I would be thinking about dinner. Healthy meal choices were not on the menu, in fact the worse it was for me, the more I wanted to... Tue, 28 May 2013 17:10:57 EST What do you do when you are stuck? You try to get unstuck, right? I have been stuck behind the finish line of my life for many years now. I get almost there and then I get stuck. I decided that this year was the year I was going to get unstuck, I am going to attempt to cross the finish line on a few things in my life. <BR> <BR> The first thing, and the main reason we are all here, is to change our life styles. That can mean many things to many people, losing weight, eating healthier, running, racing, plain old exercising... Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:47:18 EST Tracking: the good vs. the bad Last week I posted two goals on my feed, one was to stay out of the candy dish at work and the second one was to track my food every day. I stayed out of the candy dish (by the way, the candy dish is on my desk and I am the one that keeps it full). Friday was the hardest day to stay out of it, it was slow at work and I was having an emotional day, but I made it through with no candy from the candy jar. Quite an accomplishment wouldn’t you say? Not really and here is why. I also tracked... Mon, 8 Apr 2013 12:35:52 EST Enjoying my surroundings... I love to exercise outside and in AZ several months out of the year it is hard to do, meaning I don't exercise outside when it is over 100 degrees!! Yesterday I decided to enjoy the warm weather and try a new location I have driven by a million times! I have been struggling with exercise since December, so I thought a change of scenery would help me... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Sun, 3 Mar 2013 10:44:34 EST Father Joe's Villages Thanksgiving Day 5K I decided last year that I would make it a tradition each year to do a 5k on Thanksgiving morning. This year I was in San Diego. I knew my son would not get up early to do it with me so I asked my 9 year old nephew to do it with me! He kept me on my toes, as I don't run, I walk, but he had me running a bit to keep up with his SKIPPING! As I said to my nephew when it was over, we got our exercise in and we helped people less fortunate then we are all before 9:00am! <BR> <BR> <img src=... Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:22:17 EST It's the most (you file in the blank) time of the year... I struggle with what I think is a form of SAD (season affect disorder). Only it is not because of the lack of light, or whatever, it is a lack of something, something I feel I am missing as the holiday's approach and the year comes to an end. Unfulfilled accomplishments, hopes, dreams, a longing for a sense of belonging. It always comes to ahead right around Thanksgiving and I usually can put it to rest after the new year. This year, I have tried to get ahead of it, and for the most part... Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:56:56 EST My skinny on skinny... I was watching a commercial the other day and a particular woman in the commercial was that lovely kind of skinny and what popped in to my mind at that moment was, "it must be easier to be skinny" That got me to thinking about what that easy meant to me. Things like, if you are skinny your close fit better. If you are skinny you probably don't have numbers jumping around in your head which amount to you rattling off how many calories every effing thing you put in your mouth has. If your ar... Fri, 27 Jul 2012 15:14:44 EST Words We Live By As I surf around here each day to see what my fellow Sparkfriends are up to it got me to thinking about the words we live by, the words we use to define ourselves. A few words I see used quite a bit and have used to describe myself is "The Fat Girl". I hate those words. I hate that anyone uses them to describe themselves. Why can't we just be us? Why can't we define ourselves as just, Sandy (that's me). Why do we always focus on what we aren't? There are so many wonderful people in ... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 17:05:12 EST Want vs Need This is a common ideal in many things we do in life but I think in the battle for weight loss it is one of the most common occurrences of all . Do we want the ice cream or do we need the ice cream? Thinking logically, of course we don't need ice cream to sustain us nutritionally, we like it, we want it and in moderation, why not? But when we want ice cream to fill a need that is not nutritional we get into the real nitty gritty of this ideal. Grappling with this idea of want vs need thi... Tue, 19 Jun 2012 19:55:31 EST Something that is mine This past weekend for me was well, boring. When I find myself in that position I find myself head first into a box of crackers. That got me to thinking once again about that role food plays in my life. I literally thought to myself on Saturday night, at least I have dinner to look forward to. Sounds pitful when I write it out but there are times when you just got nothing going. Specifically being that right now my budget is tight and it is hard to motivate when it is 110 degrees out. ... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 20:08:31 EST How my job affects my weight What do you want to be when you grow up? That is a question that has been haunting me for years. I think people who know what they want to be and then achieve it, are truly amazing. I wanted to be many things of course, we go through so many stages as we grow, but what I thought I would be and where I am right now are vastly different. You see, I grew up in a home where success was expected but you were basically on your own to achieve it. As a child, you are totally dependent on yo... Tue, 5 Jun 2012 19:52:31 EST What role does food play? I don’t know about you, but I start thinking about what I am going to eat for dinner before I have even finished my breakfast and today and most of the past weekend was no exception. You might be saying to yourself right now, that seems good, I am playing ahead, thinking things through. Nice try! Ideally, I would love for it to be about planning ahead, but I know that is not what I am really doing. <BR> <BR> That really got me to thinking about the role food plays in my life. When I e... Mon, 4 Jun 2012 18:11:01 EST The Social Situation I consider myself a extroverted introvert. On the surface I seem pretty outgoing, I am not shy in front of strangers but if you put me in a room with my peers, I become a different person, self conscious, unsure of myself, a plain old nervous wreck. So heaven forbid a "social situation" arises, you know like a wedding, a girls night out or case and point a charity event, like the one I attended this past Saturday. In times past these kinds of things would just plane old send me over the... Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:24:55 EST That kind of hunger... Have you had ever had the kind of hunger that food just does not feed? Yesterday I had that kind of hunger. For me it starts out like true hunger. I remember thinking to myself right before lunch that I was having what I deem "one of my hunger days", but realistically, there was no reason for it. I fed this hunger during the day, but I never felt full. I was not feeling well, which could have been a contributor, but usually when you don't feel well, you aren't hungry. <BR> <BR> On my... Thu, 29 Mar 2012 13:50:51 EST Stuffing is for Thanksgiving not for Emotions In a therapy session long ago the counselor described my habits of drinking, emotional eating and spending as stuffing my emotions to fill the emotional void I had experienced through out my life. That really resonated with me. Then I ready a blog from one of my dear Spark friends regarding really "feeling" the emotion rather then "stuffing" it away with food. It was a real break through for me, because I realized that I don't feel many things, I stuff them away, I avoid them, I replace t... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 15:55:45 EST Managing Disappointment I have been known to do a lot of things when something disappointing happens in my life, and those things usually lead to greater disappointment. So, I thought I would take a few minutes to do some managing, because I know I am facing disappointment! <BR> <BR> This weekend I had some fun with a boy, someone I have liked for a while but he was married and now he is not. He may not be Mr. Right for a few different reason, not insurmountable reasons, just reasons that should be taken into ac... Tue, 28 Feb 2012 14:26:47 EST Day 9 of 31 Days to Unbreakable Resolutions I printed the January calender here from Spark entitled "31 Days to Unbreakable Resolutions" and I have been working each day. <BR> <BR> Day 9 suggests creating a motivational collage with pictures and encouraging words and posting it somewhere where you can see it daily. I am kind of working a collage (I have not finished it quite yet) and then some quotes which I thought I would share..... <BR> <BR> Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. <BR> Proceed positiv... Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:24:22 EST Tackling it... That is the new header on my home page, tackling it. So I thought I would incorporate that phase into tackling my goals for 2012. <BR> <BR> I am not sure I wrote out any goals in 2011 but rather would continue work on the goals I put down on paper in a journal I started in January of 2010 that I hope some day to turn into a self help book. I thought it would be a good idea to put them down here as well, to see where I am and then put them into perspective for how I am going to tackle ... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 21:25:48 EST Fresh Perspective I have to admit that I am pretty sick of thinking about and logging food. For the most part, my diet is healthy. My problems with weight lie more in emotional eating and in turn portion control. To me one kind of goes with the other, you begin emotionally eating and then controlling portions goes right out the window. I know that controlling my emotional eating will be a battle I will fight every day, it is just part of my emotional make up. I win the battle more then I ever have before,... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:00:13 EST Wandering I go.... Last week I had an off week. I had the blues and just felt out of sorts. The interesting part is, I am not sure why. I do know what set things in motion though, an email. I am amazed by the power of words, especially, in the form of email. The email was from one of the people I support at my job. It was short and sweet, and it made me feel terrible. It was in the form of an accusation, and was completely unfounded. So, how can an email, that has no tone, and incorrectly infered tha... Tue, 4 Oct 2011 14:02:29 EST It is hard to just be.... Well, at least for me it is hard to just be happy with, who I am, the number on the scale, what I look like, what I do for a living. The list goes on.....and something tells me that I am not alone in these feelings. So, I asked myself the question again, "Why can't I just be"? ....Seems pretty easy doesn't it. But for some it is just not, me included. Now, I can honestly say I know why it is hard for me, and I could write pages about it. Knowing seems like it would be half the battle ... Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:05:19 EST Keep your Spark close and your Spark Friends closer I was reading a blog the other day written by KITHKINCAID about an amazing date she had and it got me to thinking about what a HUGE part of my life Spark People is and how much I enjoy following the lives of my friends. <BR> <BR> For most of us this journey can be joyful, discouraging, hard, tearful, boring, tedious (and the list goes on and on) but at least we are in it together. I have my share of ups and downs, that will never change. I have had days where I don't log my food. I hav... Fri, 17 Jun 2011 14:40:01 EST Encouraging with Discouragement???? I have read a few blogs from different people lately about others who are less then supportive on a site designed for support? That completely flabbergasts me???? <BR> <BR> Even though we post pictures and share very personal experiences, we are strangers. Our knowledge about each other is limited to a small segment of our lives on a whole. That is why I find it amazing that there would be those who find it necessary to be discouraging, or offer anything but support to a person, who fo... Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:03:18 EST The Cardigan I am an insecure person by nurture. Yes, you did not read it incorrectly, by nurture, not nature. When we come out of the womb naked and thrown on the scale for the first time, we don't care about the numbers on the scale or worry about how we look. We don't know any better. It is only by nurture that we develop our sense of self and our insecurities. <BR> <BR> I can't really put my finger on when I became insecure (about everything). It is just a feeling I have always had. Ten ... Thu, 26 May 2011 13:54:26 EST Who's really in control? I had a frustrating week last week and with frustrating situations comes the inevitability of how I am going to handle them. As my weekend began, how I handled them really got me thinking about who is really in control. <BR> <BR> When I got home from work on Friday I had the blahs and recognized that I probably should not have more than one glass of wine and watching "Say Yes to the Dress" was out of the question. You see I was in one of those moods where even though I was upset about... Mon, 23 May 2011 19:52:02 EST What does "limbo" got to do with it.... Last night I was feeling uneasy and what I eventually said to myself was a feeling of limbo. In the midst of this analyzing I was eating, and saying to myself, "you know you are going over your calories for today, but you know what, that is ok, because once you are out of this state of limbo, you can really put the pedal to the metal, and lose those six pounds you need to lose". Then I thought, what does limbo have to do with it? Does limbo mean that you don't have to watch what you ea... Wed, 18 May 2011 17:58:03 EST Openness, Humility and Accountability These were three words used by a speaker I listened to this past weekend. A friend of mine invited me to attend a breakfast that was organized by her church. The theme of the meeting was how can a woman be unshakable in times of struggle. The speaker used these words in conjunction with prayer and problems and I thought these words were pretty relevant to all the issues that are shared here on SparkPeople everyday. <BR> <BR> Openness is an interesting one. I am always amazed at how h... Wed, 11 May 2011 16:22:07 EST Apply pressure were needed I don't know about everyone else, but I put a lot of pressure on myself. What I find interesting is where I chose to apply that pressure. <BR> <BR> Being a success in my household as a child was the way to my father's heart. He was a tough customer and offered little to no support other than the negative. That is how the pressure started, trying to earn the affection of someone who was unwilling to offer it. So, from childhood to adulthood I have been trying to apply pressure to succe... Thu, 7 Apr 2011 16:40:39 EST Where I spend my time... I have this strange habit of seeing, hearing or feeling something in the present and then connecting it to a bad experience in my past. I once read in a book about self esteem that people with low self esteem do that because they do not value their worth and only focus on the negative to keep themselves in that negative place....Kind of makes sense doesn't it? <BR> <BR> That really got me thinking about where I spend my time. I once heard or read somewhere that most people spend time think... Thu, 31 Mar 2011 16:49:09 EST What I am famous for... Pretending....I am really famous for pretending. <BR> <BR> Pretend reminds me of how I occupied my time as a child. This line from a John Mayer song..."I was born in the arms of imaginary friends"...sums up my life as a child...spending time with my imaginary friends. I always talked to my imaginary friends. Pretend was something I played for hours in my room. I spent a lot of time alone in my room. I occupied my time with my imaginary friends, or in the imaginary lives of others thr... Mon, 28 Mar 2011 16:33:09 EST My humble abode I moved to Arizona from San Diego 4 1/2 years ago. It has been a major adjustment for me but I am finally starting to call it home. When I moved to AZ I bought what I like to refer to as a "Chabby Chich" mobile type home. It is a perfect home owner situation for me. I have always rented in the past, so I thought I would start small to see if I could handle the responsibility. It has been a slow go, but I am finally beginning to embrace my home. With the exception of a few minor indoor p... Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:53:36 EST