MAMA3MANY1's SparkPeople Blog MAMA3MANY1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I just want balance So for the past week or so I haven't logged my food, tracked calories or weighed myself. <BR> <BR> It started off bc I yet again went overboard and found the pressure of facing up to my actions very strong. <BR> Then I overdid it again just to cope with the fact that I had yet again fallen off track. <BR> <BR> Then I realised part of the problem is that my weight does really quirky things when I'm breastfeeding and even though I know that, it's really demoralising. <BR> the other thing I re... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 04:42:12 EST Why is it so hard being a mama? I guess I'm still in the thick of it. <BR> I know different stages of parenthood have their issues but right now what with constant chaos, demands, queries (why? Why are days short in winter? What can I have to eat? What is winter? Can we buy donuts and candy and cake? Can i have juice then? Why not? But whhhhyyyy?), THEIR supercharged energy levels, their broken nights = our very broken nights, the constant battle to show them what is healthy, respectful, good, etc <BR> The huge weight on ou... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 12:08:15 EST Sleep is a nutrient like food and water ...and if I deprive myself of sleep I will have to deal with the consequences of a body lacking in that nutrient. <BR> Yes, I have four young kids who still wake me up most nights but I can get to bed earlier to minimise the impact of those disturbances. <BR> The irony is that by getting more sleep I'll be more productive and energetic during my waking hours = I won't actually have 'lost' any time. <BR> I have nothing to lose by getting more sleep. Tue, 5 Feb 2013 05:53:03 EST Visualize what your ideal healthy person would live like, and RIGHT NOW eat, move and live like her I know I've already blogged that but I find it so powerful I'm sharing it again! Tue, 5 Feb 2013 05:49:25 EST How do I use my elliptical??? The pre-set programs aren't much help. There's only 8 of them anyway. <BR> Needless to say the manual isn't helpful! <BR> I can't see where to change the incline...just the 'brake' (which I guess is the resistance?) <BR> It's a Kettler Rivo. <BR> <BR> Can anyone give me an pointers pls? <BR> Mon, 4 Feb 2013 09:24:46 EST Elliptical, Pilates and successful meal planning Well, the elliptical machine is here! Yippee! We haven't assembled it yet and need to move some stuff first so that'll be tomorrow's job. <BR> I've recently discovered Pilates and I am amazed by how effective (and difficult at times!) it is! My body always feels 'thankful' after a session. Not exhausted, not dripping with sweat, not wrung out but toned, re-energized, re-centered. <BR> And I wanted to share that I've had GREAT success with meal-planning! Finally after years of searching! <BR> ... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 14:55:24 EST Imagine what your ideal healthy person would live like, and make steps towards becoming that person. ...that's what another Sparkmember told me and I'm going to aim for that attitude rather than obsess over weightloss/scales/etc. <BR> <BR> I would simply add: Imagine what your ideal healthy person would live like, and RIGHT NOW eat, move and live like she would live. Tue, 29 Jan 2013 17:07:31 EST life Depression. <BR> Even though I've been on ADs for months now, some days like today I feel absolutely crushed. <BR> I feel that I've always been depressed and always will be. <BR> At the moment, there are a few things in my life that I'm not sure I actually want but anyway I cannot just 'delete' them from my life so they're there forever anyway. <BR> <BR> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 13:48:11 EST OT: Can anyone help with Bible related query pls? Wasn't sure where to post this so figured I'd blog my question instead! <BR> <BR> I've been a committed Christian for about 20 yrs. <BR> <BR> I don't come from a Christian family. I was raised in an academic family where the point was to dissect every word of a text to analyse it to death. <BR> <BR> I made the mistake of chosing a Biblical studies course at university where I learnt about how the Bible was put together by a group of men over several centuries. <BR> <BR> I had some hard ti... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 05:16:03 EST Up 4lbs this week ...and yes, I totally know why. <BR> I eat too much. <BR> I love baking. <BR> I eat what I bake. <BR> <BR> I'm stressed. <BR> Very stressed. <BR> Extremely stressed right now. <BR> <BR> Tbh, even the weeks that I did stay on course my weight just seems to go up one week and down the next and then up again. <BR> I'm breastfeeding and my body in this state does not want to shrink it seems. <BR> <BR> yes, I know, I *just* need to eat better. <BR> <BR> Simple. <BR> <BR> In theory. <BR> <BR>... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 06:46:16 EST Clothes 'shopping' - disheartening OK, so I didn't technically shop for clothes but I sewed some much needed, ahem, knickers/pants/briefs/whatever name they go by... <BR> Talk about a reality check. The fabric just went on and on and on... <BR> I'm a bit disheartened really...I've been trying to Spark since end Sep 2012 and so far I have lost...8lbs. <BR> I know I have no one to blame but my lack of self-discipline. <BR> On the positive side, I am much, much fitter than I was. <BR> And I am aware of what I eat, although that d... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 11:57:13 EST I did it: I had a break and now I'm back on track I said I'd have a one day break and then get back to tracking and that's exactly what I did and I'm really proud of myself! <BR> At one stage I really thought I was going to chuck in the towel - I haven't lost much in the 16 weeks since I've been sparking - but I feel better when I'm tracking. <BR> <BR> Today i went to Mum and Toddler group and I told those lovely ladies about Monday's incident and I'm so glad I did. <BR> Just talking about it released a lot of pressure. <BR> <BR> I'm start... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:05:42 EST Today I decided to 'give up'... ...but only just for today. <BR> I need to let go of stress at the moment and one of those was how I was constantly eating the wrong stuff this week. <BR> Obsessing over it hasn't helped - it's made it worse. So just for this afternoon, I decided to not track and just eat what I wanted. <BR> <BR> I know that tomorrow I will get back to tracking. I trust myself enough to take a tiny break in order to be able to start again afresh. <BR> <BR> Thank you for all the kind words and goodies. I hav... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 15:57:47 EST Yesterday something happened that was very, very scary. <BR> <BR> Today I'm finding it hard to put it behind me. <BR> I stayed up too late last night deliberately avoiding sleep as I was scared of being alone with my thoughts and fearing nightmares. <BR> So today - obviously - I feel tired and yesterday's events are still weighing me down. People in the village are going to be gossiping it too. <BR> <BR> I'd appreciate prayer pls. <BR> <BR> thank you <BR> <BR> (this is copied from a post I made - sorry but I haven't got much strength today). Tue, 15 Jan 2013 04:25:38 EST Diet cliches You know how they say use the 80/20 rule? <BR> Eat well 80% of the time. <BR> <BR> Well, the problem with that is that I can do really well for those 80% but I seem to really not do great on the 20% bit. <BR> <BR> A lot of those fitness/diet cliches don't work for me. Maybe it comes from me having studied literature for my degree...I tend to over think things! <BR> <BR> Here's one that I heard which I DO find helpful: "nothing tastes as good as PEACE feels" Sat, 12 Jan 2013 17:59:02 EST It's about SELF-DISCIPLINE or is it? Maybe too many? Hmm, we shall see. <BR> <BR> I joined the Journalling Streak thing where you journal with paper and pen (gasp!) everyday for two weeks. <BR> So far so good. I've had to push myself to do it the past two days but I'm still doing it and finding it therapeutic. <BR> <BR> I've also joined the Sleep Challenge. I'm really, really not a challenge person but I know my sleep habits could do with a revamp so I thought I'd give it a go. Not so easy when the kids wake up so often at nig... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 03:27:38 EST Anyone good at weekly meal planning? I'd love some inspiration pls! <BR> <BR> I'm fine with the planning but somehow it rarely gets implemented. Tue, 1 Jan 2013 13:33:02 EST To anyone whose ever sent me a Goodie with a note... ...I've only just now realised I had notes from you lovely people who have sent me Sparkgoodies <em>198</em> <BR> I didn't realise I had to click on the Goodie to see the note. <BR> <BR> So please accept my apology for not replying! <BR> <BR> Thank you for the Sparkgoodies and the lovely words of encouragement! <BR> <BR> ((HUGS)) Mon, 31 Dec 2012 15:11:06 EST For anyone else who avoids journalling: READ THIS! So I journalled yesterday......and OMG!! <BR> So powerful! <BR> So much stuff came out that I didn't expect! <BR> <BR> I REALLY recommend it, using pen and paper (not the computer/cell phone/etc) and just do it. <BR> <BR> I can now totally see how journalling will give me a MUCH better understanding of myself already. <BR> <BR> I'm putting a section at the top of entry where I'm just making note of anything significant that day. So for instance, yesterday I put down that me and two of the ... Mon, 31 Dec 2012 10:13:45 EST Anyone else resist writing journals? I was just reading on SP about doing a mini-Fastbreak and one of the suggestions was to journal. <BR> Andie McDowell who writes one of the most inspiring blogs I know of (and who has lost 135lbs and maintained that loss for 6 years) also talks of the power of journalling. And journalling with paper and pen rather than making a blog entry. <BR> <BR> But for some reason I resist it. <BR> I love writing, always have. <BR> So why won't I journal about food/weightloss/etc? <BR> I don't know. <BR>... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 17:00:15 EST The result of neglecting life and health Twenty years ago my father had emergency and very risky life saving operation to remove a blood clot induced by a life of drinking, smoking and eating excessively. <BR> The doctors said he was extremely fortunate to be alive as even going down steps could have dislodged the blood clot and given him an immediate heart attack. <BR> They also said his blood sugar levels were like 'toffee' and that he absolutely must change his lifestyle and eating habits. <BR> He didn't. <BR> He was fine for abo... Mon, 24 Dec 2012 12:17:06 EST Lightbulb moment I just realised...I AM losing weight. I am doing it. Maybe not in the way I'd like but I am losing weight. <BR> That realisation energises me loads! <BR> Also, what can come of being negative? Nothing but more negativity and down heartedness. Plus it's soooo demoralising to be negative. <BR> Being positive on the other hand accomplishes LOADS and requires far LESS effort than being down. Being positive puts us in a win-win situation: we accomplish things AND enjoy the process too! <BR> I choo... Fri, 21 Dec 2012 18:36:36 EST Why do I keep failing? I'm tempted to think I can't do this. <BR> I get so stressed and then I want to eat and eating feels good. <BR> Everyday I tell myself I'll do better but nearly every day I fail. <BR> <BR> ETA: I track my food. While this is good as it makes me face reality it's also discouraging to see how wrong I go. I am overeating and I know it, I know it even right when I do it. I don't know...may I don't believe I can do this long term? Like so many other times I didn't do it long term. I KNOW food is ... Thu, 20 Dec 2012 15:10:27 EST At least I'm tracking my food ...we've had no kitchen for two days and builders working on putting things right after the fire in our home (15 months ago). <BR> No kitchen but also my nest being unruffled (and no I'm not a neat freak but still!), and then trying to get ready for Xmas and the influx of relatives coming to stay...well, all of that has meant that my healthy habits have been difficult to maintain. <BR> But I'm here, I even weighed in, I'm trying to track my food. <BR> I'm realising that I will most probably g... Thu, 20 Dec 2012 04:55:26 EST Back on the road after a shaky week For several reasons - some more worthy than others - I've not been able to workout much and completely stopped food tracking for a week. <BR> The unsurprising result is a weight gain and astonishingly a change in body shape (not the right type of change either!) <BR> <BR> I've been able to realise a few things and would like to ask for suggestions pls... <BR> <BR> - I don't fully understand short term goal technique when it comes to weightloss. I can and do apply the short term manageable ... Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:15:49 EST Finding positives when everything screams inside you I'm not doing great but I'm forcing myself to do whatever I can that might help so here are the positives I can think of: <BR> <BR> - I've just logged my food. <BR> - i made myself workout (I don't feel better for it to be honest! Seeing other people so successful jump around full of energy doesn't help today) <BR> - I'm making myself write this blog entry <BR> - I have finally found the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe, truly The Ultimate. <BR> - I wrote a caring message to friend who ... Sat, 8 Dec 2012 11:16:11 EST I'm struggling There you go, I've said it. <BR> <BR> I'm struggling. <BR> <BR> I'm very tired, I'm ashamed of having eaten a whole 100g of chocolate covered almonds yesterday in addition to 3 granola bars (no, not the healthy kind) and 50g of Hershey's (I don't even like Hershey's !!). <BR> <BR> I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with anything. <BR> I keep tidying up and cleaning and then need to do it all again. <BR> DH came home very stressed and I stupidly absorbed his stress. <BR> My kids ar... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 05:09:50 EST SOOO proud of myself!!! yesterday brought some very bad and worrying news. <BR> My first reaction was 'MUST MAKE COOKIES@ ...and eat loads of them. <BR> <BR> I calmed down, I made the cookies, I ate two...and I froze the rest (unbaked). <BR> Today I baked some and ate some and tracked them. <BR> <BR> major achievement for me. <BR> I stayed in control" <BR> Before even unthawed, uncooked cookie dough wouldn't have been safe as I'd keep going back to the freezer to munch on a ball of cookie dough. It wasn't a bulim... Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:23:39 EST Powering on! Yesterday was my little boy's birthday party and I have no idea how many calories I ate - very many for sure! <BR> But today I'm back on track and I'm really proud of myself for that. <BR> <BR> I've also noticed yet another change in my body shape - woohoo!! <BR> <BR> And I'm powering thru the Christmas gifts I'm making - woohoo again! <BR> <BR> Only slightly negative thing is that I'm feeling quite nauseous. My kids had a tummy bug a few days ago and I'm wondering if it's my turn now... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 09:30:09 EST My body has changed!!! So I caught a reflection of myself in a window this morning: my body shape has changed drastically!! <BR> <BR> OMG!! <BR> <BR> I have a waist, I HAVE A WAIST!!!! <BR> <BR> Stuff the scale number (which seems to be completely illogical, yesterday it said 185ish and today it says 183.2???), MY BODY IS CHANGING IN A GOOD WAY! <BR> <BR> I'm really motivated again! <BR> <BR> YIPPPEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sun, 25 Nov 2012 12:46:36 EST I need to set short term goals... ....but I have no idea what! Sun, 25 Nov 2012 04:29:36 EST Still not back on track In fact I'm seriously OFF track! <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> But I want to get back on track. <BR> <BR> But how?? Sat, 17 Nov 2012 18:04:14 EST Went way off track but am hopping right back on! I have no idea why but I went right off the rails today (it's 6pm here in the UK). <BR> I haven't tracked it all yet but I've eaten 3 (yes, three) brownies which I didn't even like, a snacksize Mars bar (that was before the brownies and all the rest and was an attempt to stave the desire for sweetness) and a bar of white baking chocolate and 20 Gourmet Jelly Beans. <BR> <BR> Right, now that I've confessed that here are a few things that spring to mind: <BR> - I can't undo what's been done bu... Sat, 17 Nov 2012 12:43:56 EST Success journal after a difficult day Today hasn't been say so to turn the tide of negative thoughts I'm posting a success journal: here are some things I'm proud of today... <BR> 1. I didn't give up on working out. I was interrupted halfway thru the first attempt and instead of throwing in the towel I did another workout when dh came home. This time I finished it! <BR> <BR> 2. I tracked all my food <BR> <BR> 3. I praised my kids good points <BR> <BR> 4. I talked with my son about an issue we'd had earlier <BR> <BR> 5. I mana... Tue, 13 Nov 2012 18:17:56 EST Calorie counting is VERY powerful! My achievement today was to take out all but one of the bad foods which I'd put in my basket at the grocery store which I would have otherwise gobbled up. <BR> I did buy the ice cream but weighed out 100g and have tracked it. <BR> That's a big achievement considering I very easily could have eaten the WHOLE 500ml (over 1200cal!!!!). <BR> I've had a tricky day and wanted comfort. <BR> <BR> Calorie counting is very effective...saying 'I ate 500ml of ice cream' sounds a bit extravagant but s... Wed, 7 Nov 2012 16:02:09 EST A little day dream of mine I know this isn't practical for a million reasons but let me just share a little dream of mine... <BR> I wish I could go and sit with hospital patients and do some crafts with them...just to chat and create something while being there for someone who is going through a rough patch. cardmaking, hand sewing, knitting, loads of things really! <BR> Like I said, I know there are a million obstacles like needles on wards, exhausted patients, my own commitments etc etc etc etc etc etc <BR> But like ... Tue, 30 Oct 2012 16:24:06 EST Success journal I saw the idea of a success journal on Caren_bluejeans blog and thought it was a great idea. <BR> <BR> There's a lot I didn't do great at today but dwelling on those things won't help me or anyone else. Listing my successes will help! <BR> <BR> <BR> Today's successes: <BR> - chose a yummy balanced healthy lunch (waitrose's Love Life Paella) instead of a sandwich that I didn't really want which was much higher in cals and lower in nutrients. <BR> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> - played with m... Thu, 25 Oct 2012 17:11:51 EST My fridge looks like something out of a magazine shoot! <BR> I had a challenging day today but I managed to turn it around. <BR> <BR> Surprisingly what did it was to go grocery shopping! <BR> I bought loads of veg and good lean protein. <BR> Then when we got home I did a workout and then the kids and I chopped all the veg and put them into airtight containers ready to be made into salads, cooked, munched etc. <BR> I had done this last week and found it incredibly useful. <BR> Plus it's fun getting all those colourful veg on he counter and teachi... Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:25:08 EST Stressing out a lot - help pls! The past few days have been very busy and emotional. <BR> I didn't lose weight at my last weigh in. <BR> I got a fitbit 3 days ago but it's stressing me out bc it says I should aim to eat 500 cals less than what SP and the other sites say. <BR> <BR> I'm just generally starting to get very stressed out about healthy eating and calories. <BR> <BR> How do I take the pressure off? <BR> Tue, 23 Oct 2012 07:39:03 EST 100 push ups initial test Well, I did 13 modified push ups, only about ONE non-modified push up. <BR> <BR> Onwards and upwards! <BR> <BR> <em>320</em> Sat, 20 Oct 2012 04:42:55 EST Starting the 100 push up program Ive never been competitive and likewise challenges never tempt me. <BR> But aiming to be able to do 100 push ups? <BR> Absolutely! <BR> So I'm off to do the initial test. <BR> And to take some photographs. <BR> If I'm brave enough I'll post them on my page. <BR> Or I'll wait until I've made it to 100 push ups and post the before and after photos at the same time. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:04:43 EST I've ordered a Fitbit! Didn't even know they existed until last night! <BR> Should be with me on Saturday. <BR> I thought I could leave it in its box and open it once I've tracked my calories for a total of 6 weeks. <BR> Still working out my other short term rewards... Mon, 15 Oct 2012 02:46:26 EST Thankfulness - 8 things I am grateful for 1. our loving God who never leaves us or forsakes us <BR> 2. My wonderful husband - I never knew such a wonderful man would be my soulmate, dearest friend and husband <BR> 3. My wonderful children, those I have here and those that have gone to Heaven too soon <BR> 4. Life! <BR> 5. Friendships <BR> 6. Creativity and the opportunity to use it and develop it <BR> 7. Colours <BR> 8. Mod cons! <BR> <BR> <BR> I could add loads and loads and loads....but that's my 8 for now! <BR> <BR> <em>465</... Sun, 14 Oct 2012 09:12:15 EST Need to ask a favour pls I meant to at least track my calories today but have been so exhausted after yesterday's emotions that I had lunch in a cafe with very limited choice so didn't eat great food nutrition wise. <BR> Would someone pls be willing to poke me tomorrow to 'remind' me to get back on track pls? Just a sparkmail msg or something so that I'm held accountable? Wed, 10 Oct 2012 13:05:40 EST When life happens Yesterday I took my kids to a park and my little two year old fell off a 5ft high climbing frame. She landed horizontally face down and didn't move. Not a single movement. <BR> The other mums rallied round and someone called an ambulance. <BR> There were lots of roadworks and it took 20 eternal minutes for the medics to get to us. <BR> They put a neck brace on her and stabilised her on a stretcher. She'd regained consciousness but wasn't reacting normally. <BR> To cut a very long and scary st... Wed, 10 Oct 2012 04:42:39 EST Analysing why I want that chocolate Right now, I WANT chocolate. <BR> Understand, I've just had biscotti and my normal breakfast. <BR> My tummy feels too full. <BR> <BR> Yet I want chocolate. <BR> <BR> Last night was bad, with baby waking in the middle and screaming for an hour no matter what I did. When she finally settled it took me a while to get back to sleep and when I did I had two nightmares - yet again waking up between the two. <BR> Last evening was a bad one, see yesterday's blog about my workout not working out. <B... Tue, 9 Oct 2012 05:54:50 EST When a workout doesn't work out for you <BR> <BR> Today I did the Firm Ultimate Fat Burning Workout. I had done about 3/4 of it on Friday but didn't want too risk doing too much so stopped at 35 min. Felt great. <BR> <BR> Today I did it to the end and felt awful. I felt so despondent at the end. I didn't get that endorphin rush I look forward to so much in my workouts. <BR> <BR> Was it just too hard too soon? <BR> <BR> I felt that there's very little hope I'll ever look as nice as those women on the DVD and really felt despond... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 16:19:28 EST So this is what happens after 3 weeks of Sparking... ...this... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> and just in case the first photo looks like I was stretching the fabric... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> ETA: that's a sideways view of my hip btw! Mon, 8 Oct 2012 06:02:46 EST Yes, I CAN do this ..and do it and be happy! <BR> Today i wanted homemade chocolate chip cookies. <BR> I dithered about looking at how to healthify the recipe and lower the calories. <BR> And then I decided I'd rather make the real deal, calories, fat and all. <BR> And I thought, "Uh-oh, what if this tips me over and I overeat and then give up on healthy eating and weightloss?" <BR> But then I realised I had the choice: I could choose to log my cookie eating and still stay on track. <BR> Could i do that? Could ... Sat, 6 Oct 2012 11:03:58 EST 420cal burned in 38min!!! I'm absolutely astounded but both my heart rate monitor and SP's workout tracker concurr that I burnt 420cal doing 38min of The Firm Ultimate Fat Blaster!!! And I didn't even finish the workout as the kids needed me. <BR> I'm now debating about whether or not to get The Firm Express as the workouts are only 20min long which would be much more realistic than 40min... Fri, 5 Oct 2012 18:07:22 EST