MALEXANDER4's SparkPeople Blog MALEXANDER4's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Facing facts <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I've traveled this journey for so long I could walk it in my sleep and backwards. But I haven't ever reached a goal i've set myself. Why? I give up and I give in. When the going gets tough, like the third day, I quit on myself, Then I get disgusted and start "fresh" again. What does that accomplish? Nothing. Nada. Zip. I sit here at my highest weight, and I feel like i've let myself down. I ... Sun, 28 Jun 2015 08:42:15 EST Just me <em>213</em> It's just me dropping by the say <em>524</em> . The title of my blog came this morning as I was checking my emails. Spark always sends emails and the one with the motivational blogs came on. Now here is my thing, I don't climb mountains and probably never will, I don't like to cook and that isn't going to change. I don't run marathons though I have done three <em>364</em> I"m just me like I said. I get up each day I have my two cups of coffee while I check my emails and S... Wed, 17 Jun 2015 07:02:47 EST Time to make changes <img src=""> Mon, 8 Jun 2015 08:06:55 EST It is now or never! <img src=""> I haven't done a blog since January 1st. Why you may or may not wonder? Because I have not done what I set out to do. Nope nada, nothing, zip, zero. I'm over my beginning weight some years ago on Spark, What does that mean really? In truth? It means I gave up on myself and any goals I may have set. So today I have reset a few things, updated my spark page, and really just decided I don't like where I'm at right now. I'm not i... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 07:47:10 EST 2015 Time for success <BR> Happy New Year! Happy New Beginning <BR> <BR> <img src=""> A fresh new year is upon us. We can make this year anything we want. The book is yet not written, the pages blank. I seem to have missed a few chapters in 2014 so time to revamp and get myself mindful of the life I want to live and the steps needed to get me there. This is both figuratively and truthfully. I took a lot of missteps this past year, and ended up at a all time ... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 06:49:11 EST It's all humor until it isn't anymore! <img src=""> I must be honest here, at some point in my journey this became the norm. I can't say when it happened or at what point this became ok, but it just did. <BR> <BR> I have taken on the challenge of joining the BLC27 this go round. It begins in January but we can begin with setting goals, and following a points check list to get us started before then. I've printed it out and now I have to begin the checking part. I know this ... Sun, 21 Dec 2014 06:48:57 EST Such a wonderful day to just BEGIN anew. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This morning checking my emails I found this from Spark and it gave me a moment of reflection...... Coach Nancy says: <BR> You can't always see where you are going, but a friend walking the journey with you may see what you can't. <BR> <BR> As I walk this journey I'm walking it with my best friend, my daughter. We live next door to one another and that means we get to meet on the weekends and get a walk or two i... Sat, 13 Dec 2014 07:35:14 EST Fresh Start 2014 <img src=""> <img src=""> The best I can do is start fresh today. I have a plan for the first time in a very long time. I have a small goal of 5 pounds. I have a longterm goal but for now baby steps. When I have accomplished this I will move forward 5 more pounds. So one pound at a time and a mini goal. <BR> <BR> I will plan better, I won't try to plan better I will succeed. So tod... Sat, 29 Nov 2014 07:24:46 EST Happy Thanksgiving 2014 Today's affirmation: <BR> I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving - <BR> I have gratitude for EVERYTHING <BR> that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment. <BR> I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings, <BR> the moments of peace and the flashes of anger, <BR> the compassion and the indifference, <BR> the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear. <BR> I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> Take time to... Thu, 27 Nov 2014 07:29:25 EST Time to stop the suffering. <BR> SparkPeople's Coach Nicole says: <BR> Say one good thing about yourself and your body every day. Eventually, you'll come to believe it. <BR> <BR> Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, <BR> is not only a waste of energy <BR> but the worst habit you could possibly have. <BR> - Dale Carnegie <BR> <BR> Depression, S.A.D (seasonal anxiety disorder), the moods swings, what ever you choose to call them, it hits hard. Those that have it can't explain it, or can't let ... Wed, 26 Nov 2014 08:12:01 EST Baby Steps to healing. When you follow your bliss, <BR> doors will open for you <BR> that wouldn't have opened for anyone else. <BR> - Joseph Campbell <BR> <BR> Yesterday I put a post on Facebook. Now I want to say in defense I never put much out there. Just doesn't seem like the place to air my laundry. But what the heck I'm riding the depression horse this season and any amount of release is good at this time. So I put a message out about how I'm feeling. You know what? The sky didn't fall in and more people ... Tue, 25 Nov 2014 06:55:57 EST Sorting out the pieces <BR> My "journey" has become a joke. I say I'm on one but really my journey begins and ends at the pantry, the wrong isle in the grocery, and right now my depression is at a all time low. I hate the winter and I dislike this SAD I get every year around the holidays. I know it is because of the stress of gift buying with no money, bills are due, and time is short. But man I even know I'm going through it and it sucks. Sorry didn't mean for this to turn into a crying fest. I'm just so out of i... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 07:12:20 EST Striving to maintain a bit of sanity <BR> Be resolute in your goals, but flexible in your tactics. <BR> There are times that call for repetition and perseverance; <BR> and there are times that require new ways of thinking and doing. <BR> The challenge is knowing one from the other. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> I have to say thankyou to two beautiful ladies who responded to my last blog, never did I even think someone would take the time to read my woes but that they took the time to respond is wonderful. Now on... Sat, 22 Nov 2014 07:48:18 EST The road to recovery is long and sometimes painful. Just a warning this blog may turn into something way more than you want to read. I've been going through some things and the lack of "want" is just too much and my head can't wrap around it. Depression? SAD (seasonal disorder), or just plain grumpies? It could be all of this. <BR> <BR> I have been wanting to put pen to paper for a while now but just never knew where to begin. Funny how your so afraid that someone might actually read your blog on here and think...Huh???? what is she talking ... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 09:04:03 EST Finding your MOJO <BR> A man can succeed at almost anything <BR> for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. <BR> - Charles M. Schwab <BR> <BR> Have you ever wondered where that enthusiasm went that you began your journey with? You know the one, the one that kept you going and each new and fresh moment, goal reached, was just that much more momentum for the next round. Well I'll be honest over the last couple of years I've lost that MOJO for the most part. I have it peek up at me from time to time but mostly t... Sun, 9 Nov 2014 06:54:07 EST Time to focus on ME!!!!!! <BR> Every day in every way I am getting better and better. <BR> - Anonymous <BR> <BR> Standing in the inspiring vision of my future, <BR> I boldly take every step - large and small - <BR> with courage and intent. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> Positive thinking will let you do everything <BR> better than negative thinking will. <BR> - Zig Ziglar <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Do you ever feel like this? I did after my weig... Sat, 8 Nov 2014 06:59:14 EST Welcoming a new month <img src=""> Well another month come and gone. Changes this month? I've seen a few. I'm finishing the month on a loss, I've been doing the 10 minutes daily exercise and I'm getting into the swing of that. I've also signed up for another 5k, The Frozen Foot for Relay for life. So I get to have fun and help support a great cause at the same time. <BR> <BR> This month has been something. I've become a YMCA dropout and that brought me down... Sat, 1 Nov 2014 07:34:36 EST Finally Working out the kinks <img src=""> I was so ready to give up on myself. But I decided that I really wanted to reach the goals I had set so long ago and somehow forgot about. So I dug deep inside myself and I began fresh. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> I had given up in a sense on myself. But I had a moment when I awoke like from a long sleep and decided I didn't want to go out like that. So I shopped for the ri... Sat, 18 Oct 2014 07:49:47 EST It's Done Today was my first 5K. It was awesome. My daughter, a coworker/friend, and I did it. We finished in 50 minutes and that was walking. This was an untimed event. Now the next one in January is timed and we are doing that one also. For a first time walk/run it was wonderful. It was a color run and man was there color. Dust everywhere. But fun non the less. Here are a few pics. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> This is my number of which I'm framing a... Sat, 11 Oct 2014 15:00:45 EST I've done it............ I finally signed up for my first 5k. I'm so excited and all it has done is make me want to work harder to succeed for myself. One item off my bucket list. I have wanted to do one for so long but fear kept me from doing it. Well this time I have my daughter and coworkers with me. We got this. Down Syndrome is the charity but it wouldn't have mattered what it was. I want this so bad. Funny I really want that number to frame and hang in my home gym for inspiration. The race is October 11th and m... Sun, 28 Sep 2014 08:40:23 EST Quips and Quotes <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship. <BR> - Louisa May Alcott <BR> <BR> Develop a passion for learning. <BR> If you do, you will never cease to grow. <BR> - Anthony J. D'Angelo <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The above pic is what I've been w... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 07:39:56 EST A meltdown can sometimes bring clarity Determination is what takes people far! Stick to it — the results will be worth it! <BR> <BR> "happiness radiates from within" <BR> <BR> <BR> Virgo (change) <BR> <BR> You need to deal with a situation that requires little more than an open mind. Fortunately, you can deploy that with aplomb today -- though it may require a little adjustment in your preconceptions. <BR> <BR> <BR> I'm posting each of these items because yesterday I had a melt down. It was my weigh in day again, I had... Sat, 6 Sep 2014 08:31:34 EST Courage? <BR> So long as you have courage and a sense of humor, <BR> it is never too late to start life afresh. <BR> - Freeman Dyson <BR> <BR> If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. <BR> You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, <BR> for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, <BR> but the staying down. <BR> - Mary Pickford <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well another month comes... Fri, 29 Aug 2014 06:33:36 EST Random quips and quotes: Remember — losing the first few pounds deserves just as much applause as losing those last few! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Enjoy your Sunday and a new week. <BR> <BR> Michelle. Sun, 17 Aug 2014 08:04:11 EST Not giving up!!!! I ranted yesterday about the feelings I'm having about my weight issues or lack there of. But I'm not giving up on myself. I'm just in a slump right now, ok it has been going on for a while, but I'm good. I'm doing the right thing and yes it isn't showing like I would so love but I'm not quitting. One thing I'm not is a quitter. A whiner maybe, but during the rant I'm still pushing myself forward because in the back of my mind is the what if's ....what if I quit and gain even more, what if I ... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 08:13:15 EST Sometimes I just wanna...... Concentrate on building your inner strength. Your motivation is what keeps you going even when it's tough! <BR> <BR> <BR> Sometimes I just wanna.....quit. I want to stop the madness, get off the merry go round and just be for a bit. Doesn't everyone? I mean don't you all feel like your trying and trying and the results just aren't happening? Well for me this has been an ongoing thing. I'm working harder than ever and still nothing, nadda, zip. No loss, sometimes a gain, and still not getti... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 06:28:15 EST A little motivation for soul: <BR> A world in upheaval is the breaking of the old sod - <BR> the revealing of rich fresh soil ready for new planting. <BR> Rejoice in the opportunity to sow a new crop. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> Unexpected events can set you back or set you up. <BR> It's all a matter of - perspective. <BR> - Mary Anne Radmacher <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 07:00:15 EST The journey with friends You can — because you believe that you can <BR> <BR> My coworkers decided it was time to get healthy. So we have decided to lose one bad habit each week. This week we decided sweets was the first to go. Easy enough for me, but some all but threw a temper tantrum. Now next week is bread. White breads and such really. We can still have whole grain, pita, wraps, just really learning to make better choices which isn't a bad idea for me. I have this addiction to chips and anything crunchy so I've... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 06:59:57 EST Moving forward Goals are dreams — with deadlines! <BR> <BR> Normally I say I want to lose weight for whatever reason, but I don't set deadlines, and if I do I don't follow through. Well this time I'm working it. I'm down 2.2 this week and I'm working hard on next weeks. I have a goal for my 48th birthday and I will see it through. I have a new journal and I'm keeping track of what I'm doing right and wrong and so far so good. <BR> <BR> <img src="">... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 07:50:56 EST #backontrack Challenge Monday I blogged about my restart. Well so far I've had two awesome days. A friend pointed out that I have to list what I'm working for. Goals have to be set. Well this morning is a #backontrack challenge for august with spark. So in tune with that I will follow the challenge. My goals for this 31 day challenge will be as follows: <BR> <BR> 1. I will track all my foods, not just the ones that look good in my tracker. <BR> <BR> 2. I will begin weighing and measuring again what I choose to ... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 06:40:06 EST Facing facts When faced with an obstacle, approach it head-on and get past it — or think of a way to work around it! <BR> <BR> Well my approach to this was to restart everything. Enough living in the past. Time to wake up and see what is what. I haven't done what I should of done to make this journey work for me. I've done all I can do to let it get away from me. Two years worth of regaining all the weight I had worked so hard to lose. But you know what? I'm ready to start fresh and not pretend any long... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 07:14:02 EST A day at the beach. Instead of thinking, "It hasn't worked before," think, "I'll try again!" <BR> <BR> — Denise <BR> <BR> We spent the day in Gulf Shores at the beach in Alabama. We live about two hours away and so we get up early, and we leave early. We always stop at a Mcdonalds about half way there for a bite to eat. This time I chose to have the Egg mcmuffin with sausage and no cheese and a bottle of water. <BR> <BR> We swam and had a good time. We all got more sun than was needed. But in the end family... Sun, 27 Jul 2014 07:36:07 EST If not now. when???? If not now when? This quote was on a post from Spark sent to my email this morning. Great question for me. <BR> <BR> I seem to have lost my way over and over again on this journey. Why? Just pure laziness on my part. I say laziness because it is so much easier to just grab and go then to really plan and think it through. I have written about this over and over again. So If I know what the problem is why aren't I doing something about it? <BR> <BR> Welllllllllll. what had happened was....... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 07:04:35 EST FOCUS The rest of your life begins right now. Ready, set, go! <BR> <BR> <BR> Success is not final, failure is not fatal. <BR> It is the courage to continue that counts. <BR> - Winston Churchill <BR> <BR> Fall seven times, stand up eight. <BR> - Japanese Proverb <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I need to focus on me more and the whole weight loss thing less. No I don't mean to give up all my health for laziness, I guess what I'm tryi... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 07:01:51 EST Believe in yourself Don't let your fears and insecurities stop you from all that you want to — and can — achieve! <BR> <BR> — Denise <BR> <BR> How often have we set off on our journey and then come to a screeching halt because we just don't think we can do it. I mean the working out, the eating less, the eating differently, or having to cook instead of grab and go, there are so many things we have to do to make this journey our own and to make it work. But what if we put all that aside and just began. I mean ... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 07:10:03 EST Changes Without change, there would be no butterflies. <BR> - Anonymous <BR> <BR> Change always comes bearing gifts. <BR> - Price Pritchett <BR> <BR> The challenge before us is to savor the unknown <BR> and delight in the taste of possibility. <BR> - Mary Anne Radmacher <BR> <BR> There is no certainty; there is only adventure. <BR> - Roberto Assagioli <BR> <BR> When you are through changing, you are through. <BR> - Bruce Barton <BR> <BR> Welcome change. Without change, we would alwa... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 07:44:10 EST Shaping the new ME <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Each day I wake up with the choice to have a great day or a not so great day. It seems I feel I have more bad days than good. But the truth is I'm harder on myself than I need to be. I'm not doing badly I'm just not doing as good as I could be. So with that said....... <BR> <BR> It is time to SHAPE THE NEW ME. I can't begin to tell you how badly I want this. I can tell ya that I have missed the boat on this a lot... Sat, 12 Jul 2014 07:43:12 EST Today <BR> Every day is a new day - <BR> a day for new beginnings, new dreams, new action - <BR> a day for challenge, adventure, and discovery. <BR> TODAY, what is your goal? <BR> What is your dream? <BR> What action are you taking to further your goals and dreams? <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Michelle. Wed, 9 Jul 2014 07:27:34 EST Trust in YOU <BR> Paul the SparkPeople programmer says: <BR> Wanting and doing are not the same things. Don't say you want something. DO what's necessary to get what you want. <BR> <BR> Oh how often I've wished for healthy living. I want it but do I WANT it? I mean why do we/me continue to do the things that upset our healthy balance day in and day out if health is what we/I want? <BR> <BR> Well I can't speak for you all but for me it is all about the journey. I travel these roads day in and d... Sun, 6 Jul 2014 07:35:21 EST Inspration to share Samantha, SparkPeople community moderator, says: <BR> Believe in your ability to reach your goals and follow through without hesitation <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Just a bit of inspiration to share today. Just keep moving forward one foot in front of the other and soon you... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 06:34:03 EST I may have found my "aha" <BR> Be resolute in your goals, <BR> but flexible in your tactics. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> Today marks one day of great eating. I had an awesome day yesterday. I worked around this house till eleven and then I got a shower and headed to town for groceries. I even bought meals and not junk. My goal was for the meals portion and snacks were not an option. You see snacks is where I fall prey to the overeating syndrome. I will munch my way through a bag of chips, In no time f... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 06:45:38 EST Month ending <img src=""> One step at a time one month at a time. shoot some days it is one minute at a time. But I will get to my goal. It may not be today or tomorrow but if I never give up I will reach it in time. Do I want it to come faster? Well really don't we all? Of course I would like to wake up tomorrow and be at my goal and holding. But I don't see that happening any time soon. Not that I'm not working for it but I don't really honestly give... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 07:30:30 EST Note to self. <img src=""> Starting over, now this I should be a pro at. I have no trouble beginning again, it is the staying true to myself I seem to fail at every time. But this time just feels different. I don't know why, maybe I'm getting older and I know that I don't need to be a size 2 to be happy with myself. I can be happy with me no matter the size of my jeans. I need to learn to love me more and the dieting less. I need a healthy lifestyle a... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 07:07:07 EST One good habit at a time. <BR> Patience, persistence, and perseverance. <BR> A little more each day, a little better each day. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> This morning as I was checking my emails this came up in a post. This is just shouting out for me to listen. We can't all be perfect all the time but we can all take baby steps to help us in our journey. When you feel like you have failed yet again...take a moment to ponder the good that you did that day. Maybe you got your water in, or got some ex... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 06:34:47 EST Finding new strengths <img src=""> It happened I got on those dang old scales and they showed a loss....again. <em>244</em> Not a lot but a loss non the less. I know I know your thinking so what? But hey I've been at this a long time. So long now that I could measure my foods in my sleep. But I still am not at goal. Why you may wonder? Stopping and starting is why. I don't see much happening so I tend to beat myself up and decide maybe this is just not worth... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 09:13:15 EST Sometimes <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today is another day to get this right. I have the rest of my life to work on me and I intend to make the most of it. Oh I will have setbacks, step ups, and wagons falling on me in that time, but with a lot of persistence I will succeed. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> Michelle <em>88</em> Thu, 19 Jun 2014 06:56:06 EST Going in the direction of my dreams. <BR> Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. <BR> Live the life you have imagined. <BR> - Henry David Thoreau <BR> <BR> It seems funny to say this but is that not what we are doing? Going in the direction of our dreams? Even when we fall down we get back up, it may be for a day or a meal but we get back up. Funny how we know what we want but finding out how to get it is the other part of the problem. <BR> <BR> I know what I want, I want to be thin, but isn't that really just a... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 07:03:21 EST Already? Yup I worked all day, went to the gym after work, came home and had a crockpot meal all done but needed to do rice. It seemed at that point it took forever, but instead of munching as I would normally do I put on my suit and got in a quick cool down swim before dinner. Well I ate finally and yup you guessed it that led to gelato, and cheese popcorn. Ok yeah they shouldn't of been in the house. I can see that now and as I laid in bed with a bad belly. <BR> <BR> Ok something to work on. I kn... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 06:48:28 EST Setting new goals to reach Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely. Today is a new day! <BR> <BR> For sure today is my new day. No I haven't slipped and fell yet but I feel like I need a goal to work towards. So today I've decided being a Monday and all is as good a day as any to work on the new me I want to be. I'm down a bit, my clothes are fitting better, and I'm ready to keep on going, but I feel I need something to go to. So with that being said I think today will mark the first day... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 06:47:45 EST Week in review <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Wow this statement is so true. It has been a bit since I've blogged. So lets see if I can catch myself up....I lost almost four pounds last week, but this week I'm up two, so still a win win. I'm still down two. My car has been in the shop for a week, got it out and today I think I'm trading it in. Hubby thinks it is going to begin costing us money regurally. So time for a change. I haven't had a new car in 12 yea... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 06:22:29 EST