MALEXANDER4's SparkPeople Blog MALEXANDER4's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community When is the time right? <em>213</em> Hello there , it is me Malexander4 here. I have been away for quite some time. Oh I log in each day, I spin the wheel, check in with two of my teams, I've even done a challenge or two. But the reality above that is once I leave my computer I leave my plans in the dust. You see I have been walking this path for so very long and a yellow brick road it is not. I have not been happy for quite some time. It is due mainly to me and my not sticking with any plan at this point. Oh I'v... Mon, 9 May 2016 08:05:05 EST Moment of humor: On this journey if you can't laugh you will cry. Or eat your way through the tough spots. So today I just want to share a bit of humor. We got this...... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Even in the humor you s... Wed, 21 Oct 2015 06:49:55 EST Changes in thinking? Ok, here is my day yesterday, I head to work and get a flat tire, i'm 30 minutes late for work, I was to leave at 4:00 but stayed till 4:30 to make up my time, I came home and cooked dinner, and ate and no eating after, went to bed at a good time, and fell asleep fast. What do you see missing here? I didn't have a binge, it wouldn't of changed a dang thing and it would of made me feel so much worse. So out of my day I succeeded and went to bed with a clear mind. <BR> <BR> So I finally had t... Tue, 20 Oct 2015 07:10:53 EST I want to be strong I want to be strong. For one day at least. I want to make the plan, make the needed changes, and just get one day under my belt. Why can't I? ME!!!! My mind seems to be self sabotaging my goals i've set. It tells me daily i'm hungry, I need that, I want that, I'm too tired to exercise, you know the drill. You've probably had that same moment or ten when you feel like you've let you down. Well i've had a lot of those moments. Truth? I can't seem to fight the demons in my head. I want it all no... Mon, 19 Oct 2015 07:05:05 EST My story continues...... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Funny any day is a great day for a fresh start. Really each morning you wake up you have a clean slate to get it done and start fresh. You have a whole new set of points or calories to work with, you have more time to get in that great workout, focus on you, or just breathe and be in the moment. I have today and everyday to start fresh and see what I can do. <BR> <BR> The last few days I h... Sun, 18 Oct 2015 08:27:42 EST Weigh-in Wednesday: weight up <em>40</em> Whoa i'm up two pounds this week. Why? Well that is what happens when you totally throw your goals out the window, and just eat for the shear pleasure of eating. But truthfully <em>39</em> I felt and feel like this <em>15</em> So why didn't I stop after the first binge? Hell that would of meant I couldn't have all that crap I ate, that would of meant I was finally deciding to take care of myself, that would of meant.....I could go on and on with that but I won't. What I w... Wed, 14 Oct 2015 06:04:51 EST The time has come <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The time for regret is over. The time for changes is NOW. I can do this, I need to do this, so what in the hell is stopping me? What am I afraid of? I just don't know. I wish I had the answers and I wish I could just wave a magic wand and have it all fixed. I would be at goal, happy, in great clothes, and eating what I wanted when I wanted. Ok wouldn't we all just love to be that person. Ok ... Tue, 13 Oct 2015 07:08:15 EST My journey in my words Hello, wow it has been so long since I blogged. Ok, weight is down about 5 lbs. Good but then i've been down those pounds for a few months so time to get moving again. For a while I thought I had it, I was back, my motivation was high, the scale was moving, my clothes were fitting, and then I stalled. I'm still not up but i'm slack. So I decided it was time to focus on me and put it out here for myself. I miss journaling and this will give me a trail for my success and failures on my journey.... Sun, 11 Oct 2015 17:48:37 EST Oh the Possibilities <BR> The challenge before us is to savor the unknown <BR> and delight in the taste of possibility. <BR> - Mary Anne Radmacher <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a great on track day. I even came in under my calorie goal after exercise. Today my lunch is planned, my breakfast also, I have a Continuing Education this evening so dinner right now is up in the air but I have faith I will make the right choice. <BR> <BR> I have missed Spark and my blogs. They just help me to clear my head. Sometimes I wan... Thu, 6 Aug 2015 06:59:45 EST My Tomorrow has to be today. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It seems i'm always saying tomorrow. I've been saying that for three years now. I feel like i'm always on a "diet" but in truth I haven't even started yet. I have a good day, and then it is down hill from there. I have a good weigh in and then BAM i'm back up the next week. I feel like i'm on a Merry Go Round and it just never ends. I say out loud I want this journey to succeed, but inside t... Wed, 5 Aug 2015 07:39:15 EST Facing facts <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I've traveled this journey for so long I could walk it in my sleep and backwards. But I haven't ever reached a goal i've set myself. Why? I give up and I give in. When the going gets tough, like the third day, I quit on myself, Then I get disgusted and start "fresh" again. What does that accomplish? Nothing. Nada. Zip. I sit here at my highest weight, and I feel like i've let myself down. I ... Sun, 28 Jun 2015 08:42:15 EST Just me <em>213</em> It's just me dropping by the say <em>524</em> . The title of my blog came this morning as I was checking my emails. Spark always sends emails and the one with the motivational blogs came on. Now here is my thing, I don't climb mountains and probably never will, I don't like to cook and that isn't going to change. I don't run marathons though I have done three <em>364</em> I"m just me like I said. I get up each day I have my two cups of coffee while I check my emails and S... Wed, 17 Jun 2015 07:02:47 EST Time to make changes <img src=""> Mon, 8 Jun 2015 08:06:55 EST It is now or never! <img src=""> I haven't done a blog since January 1st. Why you may or may not wonder? Because I have not done what I set out to do. Nope nada, nothing, zip, zero. I'm over my beginning weight some years ago on Spark, What does that mean really? In truth? It means I gave up on myself and any goals I may have set. So today I have reset a few things, updated my spark page, and really just decided I don't like where I'm at right now. I'm not i... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 07:47:10 EST 2015 Time for success <BR> Happy New Year! Happy New Beginning <BR> <BR> <img src=""> A fresh new year is upon us. We can make this year anything we want. The book is yet not written, the pages blank. I seem to have missed a few chapters in 2014 so time to revamp and get myself mindful of the life I want to live and the steps needed to get me there. This is both figuratively and truthfully. I took a lot of missteps this past year, and ended up at a all time ... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 06:49:11 EST It's all humor until it isn't anymore! <img src=""> I must be honest here, at some point in my journey this became the norm. I can't say when it happened or at what point this became ok, but it just did. <BR> <BR> I have taken on the challenge of joining the BLC27 this go round. It begins in January but we can begin with setting goals, and following a points check list to get us started before then. I've printed it out and now I have to begin the checking part. I know this ... Sun, 21 Dec 2014 06:48:57 EST Such a wonderful day to just BEGIN anew. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This morning checking my emails I found this from Spark and it gave me a moment of reflection...... Coach Nancy says: <BR> You can't always see where you are going, but a friend walking the journey with you may see what you can't. <BR> <BR> As I walk this journey I'm walking it with my best friend, my daughter. We live next door to one another and that means we get to meet on the weekends and get a walk or two i... Sat, 13 Dec 2014 07:35:14 EST Fresh Start 2014 <img src=""> <img src=""> The best I can do is start fresh today. I have a plan for the first time in a very long time. I have a small goal of 5 pounds. I have a longterm goal but for now baby steps. When I have accomplished this I will move forward 5 more pounds. So one pound at a time and a mini goal. <BR> <BR> I will plan better, I won't try to plan better I will succeed. So tod... Sat, 29 Nov 2014 07:24:46 EST Happy Thanksgiving 2014 Today's affirmation: <BR> I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving - <BR> I have gratitude for EVERYTHING <BR> that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment. <BR> I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings, <BR> the moments of peace and the flashes of anger, <BR> the compassion and the indifference, <BR> the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear. <BR> I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> Take time to... Thu, 27 Nov 2014 07:29:25 EST Time to stop the suffering. <BR> SparkPeople's Coach Nicole says: <BR> Say one good thing about yourself and your body every day. Eventually, you'll come to believe it. <BR> <BR> Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, <BR> is not only a waste of energy <BR> but the worst habit you could possibly have. <BR> - Dale Carnegie <BR> <BR> Depression, S.A.D (seasonal anxiety disorder), the moods swings, what ever you choose to call them, it hits hard. Those that have it can't explain it, or can't let ... Wed, 26 Nov 2014 08:12:01 EST Baby Steps to healing. When you follow your bliss, <BR> doors will open for you <BR> that wouldn't have opened for anyone else. <BR> - Joseph Campbell <BR> <BR> Yesterday I put a post on Facebook. Now I want to say in defense I never put much out there. Just doesn't seem like the place to air my laundry. But what the heck I'm riding the depression horse this season and any amount of release is good at this time. So I put a message out about how I'm feeling. You know what? The sky didn't fall in and more people ... Tue, 25 Nov 2014 06:55:57 EST Sorting out the pieces <BR> My "journey" has become a joke. I say I'm on one but really my journey begins and ends at the pantry, the wrong isle in the grocery, and right now my depression is at a all time low. I hate the winter and I dislike this SAD I get every year around the holidays. I know it is because of the stress of gift buying with no money, bills are due, and time is short. But man I even know I'm going through it and it sucks. Sorry didn't mean for this to turn into a crying fest. I'm just so out of i... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 07:12:20 EST Striving to maintain a bit of sanity <BR> Be resolute in your goals, but flexible in your tactics. <BR> There are times that call for repetition and perseverance; <BR> and there are times that require new ways of thinking and doing. <BR> The challenge is knowing one from the other. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> I have to say thankyou to two beautiful ladies who responded to my last blog, never did I even think someone would take the time to read my woes but that they took the time to respond is wonderful. Now on... Sat, 22 Nov 2014 07:48:18 EST The road to recovery is long and sometimes painful. Just a warning this blog may turn into something way more than you want to read. I've been going through some things and the lack of "want" is just too much and my head can't wrap around it. Depression? SAD (seasonal disorder), or just plain grumpies? It could be all of this. <BR> <BR> I have been wanting to put pen to paper for a while now but just never knew where to begin. Funny how your so afraid that someone might actually read your blog on here and think...Huh???? what is she talking ... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 09:04:03 EST Finding your MOJO <BR> A man can succeed at almost anything <BR> for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. <BR> - Charles M. Schwab <BR> <BR> Have you ever wondered where that enthusiasm went that you began your journey with? You know the one, the one that kept you going and each new and fresh moment, goal reached, was just that much more momentum for the next round. Well I'll be honest over the last couple of years I've lost that MOJO for the most part. I have it peek up at me from time to time but mostly t... Sun, 9 Nov 2014 06:54:07 EST Time to focus on ME!!!!!! <BR> Every day in every way I am getting better and better. <BR> - Anonymous <BR> <BR> Standing in the inspiring vision of my future, <BR> I boldly take every step - large and small - <BR> with courage and intent. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> Positive thinking will let you do everything <BR> better than negative thinking will. <BR> - Zig Ziglar <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Do you ever feel like this? I did after my weig... Sat, 8 Nov 2014 06:59:14 EST Welcoming a new month <img src=""> Well another month come and gone. Changes this month? I've seen a few. I'm finishing the month on a loss, I've been doing the 10 minutes daily exercise and I'm getting into the swing of that. I've also signed up for another 5k, The Frozen Foot for Relay for life. So I get to have fun and help support a great cause at the same time. <BR> <BR> This month has been something. I've become a YMCA dropout and that brought me down... Sat, 1 Nov 2014 07:34:36 EST Finally Working out the kinks <img src=""> I was so ready to give up on myself. But I decided that I really wanted to reach the goals I had set so long ago and somehow forgot about. So I dug deep inside myself and I began fresh. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> I had given up in a sense on myself. But I had a moment when I awoke like from a long sleep and decided I didn't want to go out like that. So I shopped for the ri... Sat, 18 Oct 2014 07:49:47 EST It's Done Today was my first 5K. It was awesome. My daughter, a coworker/friend, and I did it. We finished in 50 minutes and that was walking. This was an untimed event. Now the next one in January is timed and we are doing that one also. For a first time walk/run it was wonderful. It was a color run and man was there color. Dust everywhere. But fun non the less. Here are a few pics. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> This is my number of which I'm framing a... Sat, 11 Oct 2014 15:00:45 EST I've done it............ I finally signed up for my first 5k. I'm so excited and all it has done is make me want to work harder to succeed for myself. One item off my bucket list. I have wanted to do one for so long but fear kept me from doing it. Well this time I have my daughter and coworkers with me. We got this. Down Syndrome is the charity but it wouldn't have mattered what it was. I want this so bad. Funny I really want that number to frame and hang in my home gym for inspiration. The race is October 11th and m... Sun, 28 Sep 2014 08:40:23 EST Quips and Quotes <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship. <BR> - Louisa May Alcott <BR> <BR> Develop a passion for learning. <BR> If you do, you will never cease to grow. <BR> - Anthony J. D'Angelo <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The above pic is what I've been w... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 07:39:56 EST A meltdown can sometimes bring clarity Determination is what takes people far! Stick to it — the results will be worth it! <BR> <BR> "happiness radiates from within" <BR> <BR> <BR> Virgo (change) <BR> <BR> You need to deal with a situation that requires little more than an open mind. Fortunately, you can deploy that with aplomb today -- though it may require a little adjustment in your preconceptions. <BR> <BR> <BR> I'm posting each of these items because yesterday I had a melt down. It was my weigh in day again, I had... Sat, 6 Sep 2014 08:31:34 EST Courage? <BR> So long as you have courage and a sense of humor, <BR> it is never too late to start life afresh. <BR> - Freeman Dyson <BR> <BR> If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. <BR> You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, <BR> for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, <BR> but the staying down. <BR> - Mary Pickford <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well another month comes... Fri, 29 Aug 2014 06:33:36 EST Random quips and quotes: Remember — losing the first few pounds deserves just as much applause as losing those last few! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Enjoy your Sunday and a new week. <BR> <BR> Michelle. Sun, 17 Aug 2014 08:04:11 EST Not giving up!!!! I ranted yesterday about the feelings I'm having about my weight issues or lack there of. But I'm not giving up on myself. I'm just in a slump right now, ok it has been going on for a while, but I'm good. I'm doing the right thing and yes it isn't showing like I would so love but I'm not quitting. One thing I'm not is a quitter. A whiner maybe, but during the rant I'm still pushing myself forward because in the back of my mind is the what if's ....what if I quit and gain even more, what if I ... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 08:13:15 EST Sometimes I just wanna...... Concentrate on building your inner strength. Your motivation is what keeps you going even when it's tough! <BR> <BR> <BR> Sometimes I just wanna.....quit. I want to stop the madness, get off the merry go round and just be for a bit. Doesn't everyone? I mean don't you all feel like your trying and trying and the results just aren't happening? Well for me this has been an ongoing thing. I'm working harder than ever and still nothing, nadda, zip. No loss, sometimes a gain, and still not getti... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 06:28:15 EST A little motivation for soul: <BR> A world in upheaval is the breaking of the old sod - <BR> the revealing of rich fresh soil ready for new planting. <BR> Rejoice in the opportunity to sow a new crop. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> Unexpected events can set you back or set you up. <BR> It's all a matter of - perspective. <BR> - Mary Anne Radmacher <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 07:00:15 EST The journey with friends You can — because you believe that you can <BR> <BR> My coworkers decided it was time to get healthy. So we have decided to lose one bad habit each week. This week we decided sweets was the first to go. Easy enough for me, but some all but threw a temper tantrum. Now next week is bread. White breads and such really. We can still have whole grain, pita, wraps, just really learning to make better choices which isn't a bad idea for me. I have this addiction to chips and anything crunchy so I've... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 06:59:57 EST Moving forward Goals are dreams — with deadlines! <BR> <BR> Normally I say I want to lose weight for whatever reason, but I don't set deadlines, and if I do I don't follow through. Well this time I'm working it. I'm down 2.2 this week and I'm working hard on next weeks. I have a goal for my 48th birthday and I will see it through. I have a new journal and I'm keeping track of what I'm doing right and wrong and so far so good. <BR> <BR> <img src="">... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 07:50:56 EST #backontrack Challenge Monday I blogged about my restart. Well so far I've had two awesome days. A friend pointed out that I have to list what I'm working for. Goals have to be set. Well this morning is a #backontrack challenge for august with spark. So in tune with that I will follow the challenge. My goals for this 31 day challenge will be as follows: <BR> <BR> 1. I will track all my foods, not just the ones that look good in my tracker. <BR> <BR> 2. I will begin weighing and measuring again what I choose to ... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 06:40:06 EST Facing facts When faced with an obstacle, approach it head-on and get past it — or think of a way to work around it! <BR> <BR> Well my approach to this was to restart everything. Enough living in the past. Time to wake up and see what is what. I haven't done what I should of done to make this journey work for me. I've done all I can do to let it get away from me. Two years worth of regaining all the weight I had worked so hard to lose. But you know what? I'm ready to start fresh and not pretend any long... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 07:14:02 EST A day at the beach. Instead of thinking, "It hasn't worked before," think, "I'll try again!" <BR> <BR> — Denise <BR> <BR> We spent the day in Gulf Shores at the beach in Alabama. We live about two hours away and so we get up early, and we leave early. We always stop at a Mcdonalds about half way there for a bite to eat. This time I chose to have the Egg mcmuffin with sausage and no cheese and a bottle of water. <BR> <BR> We swam and had a good time. We all got more sun than was needed. But in the end family... Sun, 27 Jul 2014 07:36:07 EST If not now. when???? If not now when? This quote was on a post from Spark sent to my email this morning. Great question for me. <BR> <BR> I seem to have lost my way over and over again on this journey. Why? Just pure laziness on my part. I say laziness because it is so much easier to just grab and go then to really plan and think it through. I have written about this over and over again. So If I know what the problem is why aren't I doing something about it? <BR> <BR> Welllllllllll. what had happened was....... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 07:04:35 EST FOCUS The rest of your life begins right now. Ready, set, go! <BR> <BR> <BR> Success is not final, failure is not fatal. <BR> It is the courage to continue that counts. <BR> - Winston Churchill <BR> <BR> Fall seven times, stand up eight. <BR> - Japanese Proverb <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I need to focus on me more and the whole weight loss thing less. No I don't mean to give up all my health for laziness, I guess what I'm tryi... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 07:01:51 EST Believe in yourself Don't let your fears and insecurities stop you from all that you want to — and can — achieve! <BR> <BR> — Denise <BR> <BR> How often have we set off on our journey and then come to a screeching halt because we just don't think we can do it. I mean the working out, the eating less, the eating differently, or having to cook instead of grab and go, there are so many things we have to do to make this journey our own and to make it work. But what if we put all that aside and just began. I mean ... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 07:10:03 EST Changes Without change, there would be no butterflies. <BR> - Anonymous <BR> <BR> Change always comes bearing gifts. <BR> - Price Pritchett <BR> <BR> The challenge before us is to savor the unknown <BR> and delight in the taste of possibility. <BR> - Mary Anne Radmacher <BR> <BR> There is no certainty; there is only adventure. <BR> - Roberto Assagioli <BR> <BR> When you are through changing, you are through. <BR> - Bruce Barton <BR> <BR> Welcome change. Without change, we would alwa... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 07:44:10 EST Shaping the new ME <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Each day I wake up with the choice to have a great day or a not so great day. It seems I feel I have more bad days than good. But the truth is I'm harder on myself than I need to be. I'm not doing badly I'm just not doing as good as I could be. So with that said....... <BR> <BR> It is time to SHAPE THE NEW ME. I can't begin to tell you how badly I want this. I can tell ya that I have missed the boat on this a lot... Sat, 12 Jul 2014 07:43:12 EST Today <BR> Every day is a new day - <BR> a day for new beginnings, new dreams, new action - <BR> a day for challenge, adventure, and discovery. <BR> TODAY, what is your goal? <BR> What is your dream? <BR> What action are you taking to further your goals and dreams? <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Michelle. Wed, 9 Jul 2014 07:27:34 EST Trust in YOU <BR> Paul the SparkPeople programmer says: <BR> Wanting and doing are not the same things. Don't say you want something. DO what's necessary to get what you want. <BR> <BR> Oh how often I've wished for healthy living. I want it but do I WANT it? I mean why do we/me continue to do the things that upset our healthy balance day in and day out if health is what we/I want? <BR> <BR> Well I can't speak for you all but for me it is all about the journey. I travel these roads day in and d... Sun, 6 Jul 2014 07:35:21 EST Inspration to share Samantha, SparkPeople community moderator, says: <BR> Believe in your ability to reach your goals and follow through without hesitation <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Just a bit of inspiration to share today. Just keep moving forward one foot in front of the other and soon you... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 06:34:03 EST